Disclaimer:I don't own the characters from Dawsons Creek or the great Tori song but I own the fic.No copyright infringement intended.

*-means thought

This is my first fic for anything so I'd like feedback.No flames though,I have no self-esteem as it is.Thanks. JmsStarlet@aol.com

"Hey Jenny,its Billy.I heard you were back and I have the apartment to myself tonight so I thought ... well,if you feel like droping by I'll be here.Later."
Jen hit the erase button on her answering machine and sighed.Jen knew Billy well enough to know if she decided to drop by they'd end up ...
well,going farther than she wanted to.Billy calling her over when he had the apartment to himself was what had started all her problems in the first place.
Jen walked over to her vanity table and turned on the radio.The Tori Amos song Leather was playing.

Look I'm standing naked before you
Don't you want more than my sex?
I can scream as loud as your last one
but I can't claim innocence.

Jen began to brush her hair as she listened to the song.*That's what it will be if I go to Billy's;just meaningless sex.Not at all like how it would be with Dawson.*
Jen smiled remembering how nervous Dawson was when he kissed her for the first time.Jen's smiled faded and she spoke out loud to her image in the mirror.
"But you ruined what you had with Dawson.You dumped him and now he's with Joey and you're all alone".

Oh God could it be the weather?
Oh God why am I here?
If love isn't forever and it's not the weather
Hand me my leather.

I could just pretend that you love me
the night would lose all sense of fear
But why do I need you to love me
If you can't hold what I hold dear.

Jen thought of how true the song was.She had sat home every night since she had come back to New York telling herself that Dawson had loved her once and still did but was just confused about his feelings for Joey.Deep down Jen knew that wasn't true and for the past couple of days had been trying to forget about Dawson by going out with her old friends.

Oh God could it be the weather ?
Oh God why am I here?
If love isn't forever and it's not the weather
Hand me my leather.

Jen looked in the mirror and realized she had been absently putting on make-up.
*You can't be serious Jen.After all this time ... after how hard you've worked to change you're going to sleep with Billy?*Jen looked at herself with disgust and said "You haven't changed at all have you?Daddy still looks at you with those same dissappointed eyes that he's looked at you with since he caught you with Billy. Gramps was the only one never thought I was a slut no matter what and now he's gone"Jen said her voice breaking with emotion.

I almost ran over an angel
He had a nice big fat cigar.
In a sense he said you're alone here
So if you jump,you best jump far.

Oh God could it be the weather?
Oh God why am I here?
If love isn't forever and it's not the weather
Hand me my leather.

*Everyone is expecting you to go back to your old ways.Dad,Grams ... hell even you expect it*
Jen walked over to her closet and took out a white tank top and a short leather skirt.
*You can stop pretending youv'e changed Jen.Your'e the same person you were before Dad shipped you off to Capeside.And you can stop deluding yourself into believing that Dawson Leery ever loved you.He was just infatuated with you.*
Jen looked at the girl in the mirror wearing the revealing clothes; the old Jen."Goodbye Dawson"she whispered.

Oh God could it be the weather?
Oh God why am I here?
If love isn't forever and it's not the weather
Hand me my leather.

Jen didn't look back as she closed her bedroom door and left for Billy's.

Back to the Leather Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page