Instead of finding a pub, making a conquest and stumbling home like I usually did, I have started prowling the streets of the city. Searching... Continuously searching. Looking at faces. Going to places I never would have set a foot in before. Wishing to see a glimpse of her face. Her hair. Anything.
I try to control myself, to run away like I did before, but I cannot. Something is calling me to her, so that I can apologize. Love her like I was meant to. I have realized that I have wronged her. I want to beg her forgiveness and walk at her side. I want to be her friend and... Sigh.
Most importantly, I want her to know me. Not the human I once was. Not the vampire Angelus molded me into. Not the broken and bullied helper the she once knew. I just want her to truly know me.
I searched until it was almost sunset before I returned to my flat. No luck. Not that a creature like me deserves to find her, especially after the way I hurt her.... Bloody hell! I'm starting to sound like my fuckin' softy of a sire.
Sigh, I am soft. I have been ever since... I don't know. First I let Dru pull my around by my cock...and heart strings. I saved her from a mob of pillocks, brought her to Sunnyhell to cure her, eventually cured her and had an organ dropped on me, putting me in a damn wheelchair. She moves on to Angelus, then back to me and then to a chaos demon. Bloody whore. Then I let myself be bullied into helping the Slayer. I patrolled with her, watched her back and let her Watcher pick my brain. Lastly, and worst of all, I let myself fall in love again. And not just with anyone. A human, at that.
It has been a long night. With a sigh, I set my alarm clock so that I could call some of my human associates to start the search and then threw myself on my bed. Time to call out the big guns.
***
I sat in the same seat at the bar that I had sat in three weeks before...when I had first spied the red siren after so many years. Three weeks and no luck. Every other time I had checked up on her I was able to locate her easily. She proved to be elusive in ways she had never been before.
I ordered a rum and coke. Not as fiery as I would have liked but I wanted to stay sober. I needed all of my wits to find Willow.
As I lifted my drink to my mouth, my cellular phone rang. I sat my drink down and flipped open the mouth piece. "'Ello?"
"Nice lackeys, Spike-y," a voice purred. "Next time, come after me yourself."
"Willow?"
"Be seeing you, *pet,*" she spat.
"Willow?!"
*click*
"Love?!"
No answer.
"Damn!"
I closed the phone and put it away. Picking up my drink, I drowned it in one large gulp and then set the glass back down. A smile formed on my lips. The girl was going to be evasive.
I dug into my coat and opened my wallet. Throwing down a few pounds, I vacated the bar and stalked off into the night.
I so do love the chase.