I stared into my drink. I think it was my fouth...fifth....bloody hell! I don't know. Who the fuck cares? I raised the glass to my lips and downed the concoction. I reveled in the fiery path it made down to my stomach. I motioned to the bloke behind the bar to pour me another.
Ahhh. Alcohol. Good for two things: helping you lose yourself in reckless oblivion and cutting through grease.
I was occupied in the former. Oblivion is the state I wanted to reach and tonight I was having trouble doing so. I glanced around the pub. Couples were engaged in horizontal mating rituals...hardly what I would call dancing, anyway. Some were playing pool...while drunk. Amusing really, if you think about it. A few other were eating 'pub' food and drinking at the tables. And there were those of us who were trying to get wasted up at the bar. Pretty typical.
But there was one who caught my eye. A delectable red head that was vaguely familiar. She sat by herself at one of the tables, eating and sipping a drink. I picked up my drink and sauntered toward the table, admittedly intent on taking her back to my apartment.
What better way is there to lose oneself than in a good, hard shag?
Silently, I pulled out a chair and flipped it around. I straddled it and set my drink on the table. The red head looked up, startled. Her eyes widened.
"Spike," she hissed. Her hand started to untuck her necklace from her shirt but I reached out and set my hand over hers.
"Don't," I said. I looked at her closely. Damn! If what you're running from always catches up to you, the past has finally caught up with my ass. "You're a little out of your jurisdiction, luv. London is vampire territory, Willow."
Willow made a buzzer noise. "Wrong. London is Watcher territory. Stuffy Brits in mandated tweed, remember?"
"I'll try to remember that," I said. "Wouldn't want to sink my fangs into some stuffy Watcher, now would I?"
Willow stiffened and her hand returned to the chain around her neck.
"Don't worry, Willow. I'm not going t' bite." I chuckled softly. "How are you? What have you been doing with yourself?"
"Good," she answered, falling into typical polite conversation. "I've been doing a little of this and a little of that...nothing legal, of course."
I winked at her. "Of course."
I knew all about her freelance computer hacking. I may have ran from her but I have kept tabs on her and made sure she was all right. I owed her after...
"How about you?" she asked.
"I survive," I answered
Silence settled between us. She was still hurt. I was too scared.
Time to turn tail and run. I have never been a brave man, only a smart one. I know when to cut my losses.
I picked up my drink and downed the rest of it. "I'll be seeing you, ducks."
I stood up and left. I walked out the door into the night. Suddenly, a hand wrapped around my arm, stopping me.
"Leaving again?" Willow spat. "You seem to be good at it."
"Willow..." I began.
"No! No excuses," she pleaded. "I just want to know why. Why did you leave?! Just tell me why and I'll leave you alone."
I sighed. "It's complicated, pet."
"Isn't it always?"
I sighed again. I reached into my pocket and withdrew a fag. Lighting it, I drew the smoke into my dead lungs and let it work it's claming effects on me.
"The reason I left was," I ground out, "that I became too close to you. I let myself get too close to you. The stupidest thing I could ever do was get close to you and I did."
"I see," Willow said hurt. I could see the street lights reflect in the tears that had welled up in her eyes. "Thanks for telling me the truth." She turned around and stalked away.
I watched her retreating form, with regret. It wasn't the truth. I didn't explain myself fully and let her think the worst of me. I felt the urge to go after her and make it up to her every way I knew how, but it was better this way. Willow deserved more than a prick like me.
Fuck. I should have ran faster.