"You're Still the One" by Shania Twain
This has never been an Austin and Carrie song, but a fan suggested it, saying it would be perfect. Let's examine the words to see if it's correct.
"The first time I saw you, I saw love"
[Sabrina depresses the "WRONG!" button]
Totally incorrect. The first time you saw Austin, you saw a big hairy chest, as in a gorilla. A rush of hormones can hardly be considered to be "love."
"And the moment you touched me, I felt love"
Ditto the first. Hormones, pure and simple, and any fool can see that.
"And after all this time, you're still the one I love"
Is it Duh-Boy that you still love? Perhaps you have some tender feelings for him, but the truth of the matter is that you're no where near as hot for Duh-Boy as you once were. We haven't seen you two in bed since Rome.
"Looks like we made it"
Perhaps, to the untrained eye (or to blind A/C fanatics).
"Look how far we've come, my baby"
But you notice that Duh-Boy is back to living under the same roof with Sami, and of his own free will?
"We might have took the long way"
As I remember, the two of you did take the long way. Four freakin' years worth of the long way!
"We knew we'd get there someday"
Again, not applicable. You and Duh-Boy both had serious doubts about the other's affections and loyalty. Can you remember how he gave you the cold shoulder after he thought it was you with Lucas in the Titan building when it was really Sami? Or how you slapped him when you found out Sami was pregnant and then walked out on him in the church?
"They said, 'I bet they'll never make it'"
Not as I recall. Didn't Gran Horton and everyone who had an interest in your love life (besides Sami and Lucas) predict that "true love" would conquer all?
"But just look at us holding on"
I don't see Duh-Boy trying to hold onto you. He's more concerned with being a father to his nephew than trying to deepen his bond with you.
"We're still together, still going strong"
Nope on both accounts. You're working at the hospital next to Dr. Mike and Duh-Boy's boxing without your knowledge or consent.
"You're still the one I run to"
Then why do you always turn to Mike when you're stressed?
"The one that I belong to"
Nobody belongs to anyone, Carrie.
"You're still the one I want for life"
I'd say the jury's still out on that one. You two don't have much of a life together at the moment.
"You're still the one that I love"
Have you said, "I love you" to Duh-Boy in the last three months?
"The only one I dream of"
Oh, ho, then what have you been doing fantasizing about Dr. Mike
and his fabulous lips?!
"You're still the one I kiss good night"
Have you actually kissed Duh-Boy good night in the last two months at all? I'd place a wager on "No" being the answer to that one.
"Ain't nothin' better"
Than what? Duh-Boy treating you like you can't be trusted whenever the two of you have a crucial test of loyalty?
"We beat the odds together"
No, Carrie, you beat the odds for the both of them. You're the one who bothered to look into Will's parentage, the one who stopped the wedding and decked the bride, and the one who swiped all of your sister's nuptial arrangements and took back the groom. Duh-Boy just stood by and let it happen.
"I'm glad we didn't listen"
The first time that you didn't listen to Daddy you got your pretty face splashed with acid, Carrie. The second time when you did listen to Daddy, he'd written you a note telling you to look after Sami and you did, thus prolonging your role as the crucified martyr for your feelings of guilt and of duty to your sister. . .
"Look at what we would be missin'"
Really, Carrie, what will you be missing? Duh-Boy's insane need to be there for Will, offspring of Sami the Schemer and Lucas the Lush? Or your his constant whining about wanting to get you pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen as soon as possible? Or perhaps it's his inability to see past the end of his own nose? Or maybe it's his rich-bitch mom who is doing everything in her power to make sure you can't escape from her eldest son? Or could it be your whiny, silicone-implanted sister-in-law who's slapping around your Aunt Hope while putting the moves on your own father?
So tell me, Carrie, what would you be missing?
