F o l l o w i n g A D r e a m

C h a p t e r T h r e e

' A N e w L i f e
by Jean McQuaid

I was used to being coddled by the various servants in
my parent's home,
there was always someone waiting to see to your every
need. Clean linens,
warm baths and appetizing cuisine were a thing of the
past for me now as I
lacked all the necessary commodities of the civilized
world. To put it
simply, I knew nothing about housekeeping or cooking
and here I was on my
own in the middle of nowhere. I certainly hadn't
thought about the simple
requirements of living, I was too busy trying to
convince the world I was a
doctor.

I can also confess now that I was terribly lonely. I
never told anyone just
how lonely I was, especially my family when I managed
to get a letter off
to them. But on many a long, cold night I used to
close my eyes and imagine
what they were doing back in Boston only to be shaken
back to reality by
the distant howl of a lone coyote. It wasn't as much
that I missed them and
all their idle banter, what I honestly missed was the
sound of another
human voice. The desolation and solitude were more
than I could stand and
it was no wonder that I spent much of my time with
Charlotte and the
children.

I thought of David also and how things might have
been. I had packed the
engagement ring he'd given me but left behind the
magnificent hand beaded
wedding gown I was to wear, behind with my past that
seemed a world away at
this moment. I missed him terribly and wondered what
he would think of his
little 'Mike' now. But David was gone and so were all
our dreams of working
side by side one day. I would never love like that
again, or so I thought..

I felt like an intruder at the homestead. It was as if
Sully had just
walked out the door and never looked back. There were
times when the wind
and the shadows from the firelight played tricks on my
mind, the sound of a
baby crying and a young mother's laughter haunted me.
The hope chest that rested at the foot of the bed was
full of dreams,
dreams for a future that never happened. I thought of
Sully often. There
was a sadness in his strong blue eyes but also a fire,
a passion that I
could see whenever he looked at me. I was afraid to
tell him of the bond I
felt with him for fear he thought me much too
precocious and impertinent
but I think I was more afraid of rejection, that Sully
would think me
foolish and turn away.

With the crucial birth of Emily's baby I'd hoped
business might pick up but
that was not the case and soon questioned my own
sanity as I allowed Jake
Slicker to extract a perfectly good tooth.
Charlotte said, "What you did took guts, man can't
ignore that." It was
drastic, but when I received a very unexpected visit
from Mr. Slicker one
month later, I knew I had earned his respect. At least
it was a beginning..

But fate was about to take yet another severe turn. My
days of being lonely
would soon be over and I would acquire something I had
not planned on, a
family. Charlotte's death was a milestone that would
change my course in
life dramatically.

"Please take care of my children. Please promise me."
These were
Charlotte's final words.

And when I replayed," I promise," I suddenly had
inherited three children,
something to which I've thanked God for every day
since. True, I had no
experience of being a homemaker let alone a mother but
I never went back on
a promise. I now had a new family and many new
patients. Some of them were
a little reluctant at first like Robert E. but Myra,
well she was a whole
different story. I knew from the first moment Myra and
I met that she
wasn't like the other girls working at the saloon and
I felt strongly that
she didn't belong, something that would keep the
bartender and I forever at
odds.

Myra had a soft, gentle nature and a genuine
friendship developed between
us instantly. She was shy to confide in me but when
she finally let her
true emotions surface, I found a girl living inside a
woman's body. My
visit with Myra led me to my next encounter with
Sully. If he hadn't been
there to save me from the hands of the
hmm...gentlemen at the saloon, I
dare to even think about what might have happened. And
when Brian chose to
run away to live with the Cheyenne, Sully once again
came to my rescue.

Brian was angry with me. I was, in my own way, trying
to discipline him and
he rebelled by running away. I was desperate and
ridding out alone proved
to be a mistake as I soon found myself lost and taken
prisoner by Indians..
But they took me to Sully. I now wonder if it was fate
or just plain luck
but his being at the reservation was the beginning of
the most exciting and
gratifying relationship I was ever to experience.

I'll never forget the feeling as he gently covered me
with his blanket, his
hands gripping my shoulders with understanding and
comfort. But something
else surged through my body, another feeling that was
totally new to me.
This feeling would only become more intense the more I
was near Sully. It
was a magnetic and powerful force that bonded us. I
think I fell in love
with Sully right then and there. I had been in love
before and had felt the
pain of loss. I was afraid of these new feelings,
feelings that were so
very different to the ones I had felt for David.

We found Brian, hurt and very scared but he was alive
and very happy to see
the two of us. He was not as happy and relieved as I
was though. I felt
that I'd let Charlotte down and would have to make
every effort to be more
understanding and alert to the needs of 'my' children
. That felt a little
strange at first saying 'my children' but with each
passing day we were
becoming more and more of a family. They'd given me
more courage than I
thought possible. This proved true when I stood to
face a charging army
about to annihilate the Indians who had left the
reservation to help in the
search for 'my son'. This was to be the first of many
encounters I had with
the Indians and the army and was the beginning of my
growing respect and
love for them as friends.

Colonel Chivington had threatened war on the Indians
but Chief Black Kettle
was a man of peace. He wanted no part of war, however
with the soldiers
being spiteful and the townspeople fearful, Sully was
their only ally and I
was rapidly becoming another. I wasn't sure what
Chief Black Kettle
thought of me. He told Sully that 'among whites only
men practiced
medicine and that I must be a crazy white woman' and
the night that Brian
went missing I insisted that I help in the search.
Sully told me that the
chief said 'if a woman acts as a brave, she will
become one.' I knew that
somehow I'd have to earn his trust and that
opportunity finally came.

Sully along with several Indians brought a wounded
Black Kettle to the
homestead. I had the difficult task of removing a
bullet from his neck. My
conditions for operating were nothing like that of the
hospitals I'd
trained in but I did my best and after several days of
rest was rewarded
with my Cheyenne name, Medicine Woman. I felt honored
but the reassuring
smile from the great chief was even more gratifying.
He was a special man
and I was beginning to see the reason for Sully's
great affection towards
him. If only the brass in Washington could meet the
great chief and see
first hand that he was a man of his word and peace was
all he ever wanted..
With winter came Christmas and snow. I should have
been homesick, but I
wasn't, and when Sully showed up at our door we were
not only surprised but
the children were delighted. He'd brought them gifts,
something that I
hadn't been able to do. This was how Sully and I
seemed to fit together.
What ever I lacked he made up for and the same held
true for him. The hand
carved shingle was a sign of his acceptance and faith
in me but my most
important gift of all that first Christmas in my new
home was love. A love
that would last forever.






It had been an exceptionally long, cold winter and it
was a relief to
finally see the green return to the countryside. Along
with spring came new
life. I was amazed at the beauty which surrounded me,
the wild flowers, the
blossoming trees and the sounds of baby birds
anticipating their first
flight into the crisp, clean air of Colorado. All the
despair of my first
few months had long since passed and my family gave me
new hope, assurance
that I'd come to the right place. My new life had
finally begun.

I still longed for a place where I could set up a
proper practice. Treating
patients from my home was not only inconvenient but it
left us with very
little privacy. I needed a place closer to the
fundamentals of my career,
the mercantile, the stagecoach depot and the telegraph
office. What I
really needed was an office in town and in a
roundabout way, my wish came
true.

Miss Olive Davis was the sister of Loren Bray, the
owner of the mercantile.
With her arrival in town came more hostility towards
me but she also
brought something even more deadly, influenza, which
spread throughout the
town. No one seemed concerned that we were about to
experience an epidemic
and when I demanded that I needed a hospital, a place
where I could isolate
the sick, they scoffed at me. But my determination
brought Sully once again
to my side. Together we opened the abandoned boarding
house that Charlotte
had lost to the bank and soon it was filled with
people all requiring my
services. There was a different kind of loneliness
that overtook me now and
I was grateful for the help I did receive. I had very
little time to think
of my own needs or that of my family, people were
dying but when Brian
became sick I was terrified. I had grown to love this
little boy and if I
couldn't save him, all the experience and training I'd
received would be in
vein. Every inch of my body ached, I was tired but
somehow my strength and
dedication forced me to carry on. Night and day the
ever vigilant
administration of quinine and bathing of each patient
was carried out. But
my own body finally gave in to the sickness. I
remember stepping outside
the clinic to make the announcement that Brian would
be fine and then
nothing. When I did reopen my eyes it was to see Sully
sitting at my
bedside. My life had been saved by the Indian Medicine
Man, Cloud Dancing..

Olive told me of her protests as Sully lifted my limp
body from the bed and
placed me on the back of a horse with Cloud Dancing or
'that character', as
she put it. She also told me of how I pleaded with her
to look after the
children as I must have realized I was very close to
death. But my life had
been saved by something that was to become one of the
most important
procedures to my medical career, natural remedies used
for many generations
by the native people. Little did I know that Cloud
Dancing was about to
open up a whole new chapter in my life, sharing the
wisdom and knowledge
passed on to him by his forefathers. He was to become
my new mentor. The
use of purple corn flowers brewed into a tea was the
beginning of my
acquaintance with nature's own remedies. And as for
Sully, my feelings of
love and trust were never so strong. He had once again
been there for me,
something that I was growing to like very much.

Many had died but many more had been saved. My father
always taught me to
look for something good out of something bad, and I
did. I had proved my
strength and capability as a doctor. I had also found
a place to hang my
shingle, I would make the old boarding house my new
clinic. But I was still
bothered by Olive's hostility towards me.

"Truth to right, those children should be living with
me." Olive's own
words.
She was a tough woman and it would take some time
before she would get over
the fact that Charlotte had left the children to a
complete stranger
instead of her best friend. I was however, equally as
stubborn. I had no
intentions of giving up.

As I laid my head back on the pillow and closed my
eyes, I felt a loving
warmth on my skin. I didn't have to open my eyes to
know that Sully had
placed a kiss on my forehead, a kiss that sent shivers
throughout my body..
I never told him I knew about that show of affection,
some things are
better left unsaid.
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