Top Ten Reasons Sonny is a Sucky Mobster

10. Puerto Rico. Not really known for their mafia.

9. He reclaimed his territory without bloodshed.

8. He gets all depressed about people dying.

7. It's hard to picture Don Corleone, John Gotti, Al Capone, etc. crying

6. His right-hand man sells him out to his father-in-law, and he doesn't realize.

5. People constantly put out successful hits on people he cares about, but he can't manage to kill off his biggest rival.

4. He isn't really involved in any illegal activities.

3. He is actually importing coffee.

2. He's a better police officer than the PCPD - he protects prostitutes, he single-handedly stopped the PC drug trade.

1. I'm running the Mob. I'm not running the Mob. I'm running the Mob. I'm not running the Mob. Make a career choice already!