Greatest JLA Lines

collected by Michael Weyer

JLA #36

World War III Part One
Metron: "If Wonderworld has fallen, there is no one to stand against the Warbringer."
Wonder Woman: "You're wrong, Metron."
Green Lantern: "So what do we do? This is down to us, right?"
Orion: "It's not wise to wave your remaining hand in his face, king of the fishes. Sturmer bites."
Aquaman: "He bites me, he dies. And one day I intend to knock the perpetual sneer off your face, Orion."
Prometheus: "I built my crooked house here, under the foundations of reality, where I can nibble away at the roots...."
Lex Luthor: "You wrote excruciating poetry as an adolescent, I can tell. You were published by your school magazine...."
Prometheus: "Yeah, I guess we are pretty similar types, Luthor. Smart kids nobody ever really understood."
Prometheus: "Money isn't what motivates me. If I want something, I just take it. I'm in this for the buzz."
Prometheus: "So what's the Joker like?"
Luthor: "Frighteningly sick in the head....but strangely compelling company..."
Prometheus: "Your people must have evolved from some particulary attractive bugs."
Queen Bee: "Conzzeptz of relative 'beauty' are meaninglezz to uz, aszz iszz your flattery."
Prometheus (inside the Queen Bee's ship): "This is like that bit in '2001.'"
Luthor: "We've studied their weaknesses. We've monitored their every move, undermined their intelligence networks and used their toliets. Planning is over."
Plastic Man: "Heaven's given up on us? So...there's no chance of sitting this one out back home with a six-pack and the Sports Channel, is there?"
Batman: "Otherwise, doomsday machines are your forte, Superman. And if we can't stop the end of the world, who can?"
Luthor: "Welcome to our nerve center, General. Power and rent are free, and it's ideally suited for planting bombs."
General: "Give me some darkness! Give me some terror."
Luthor: "The penny drops. Too late. One."
Queen Bee: "Advantage: Uszz."
General: "Let's take these civilians to hell and back."
Superman: "My God, no! Not now, Luthor!!! We're all in terrible danger!"
Luthor: "Understatment of the year. Goodbye JLA. And two."
JLA #37

World War III Part Two
Narrator: "When you die, they say, your whole life flashes in front of you. Forty six seconds ago, the JLA Watchtower was devastated in a series of explosions. Helena Bertinelli aka the Huntress, is already reliving her seventeenth year. And her eighteenth."
Prometheus: "I have no morals. I have no pity, no compassion....Well, I suppose I have. Nobody's all bad, after all. But you know what I mean; I just don't get much use out of 'em."
Promeheus: "What's the first thing your really miss when you realize it's for life? Dancing? Running to the deli? Sex?"
Oracle: "I try not to live in the past. Do you miss your baby carriage?"
Prometheus: "Late nights trying not to think about it. Girl geek on the Internet, flirting with superboys, acting all self-reliant...."
Oracle: "When you're done trying to insult me to death, the information on the Mageddon weapon is "
Prometheus: "I was complimenting you. Stop being so defensive."
Oracle: "Then stop being so aggresive."
Prometheus: "Why do all my dates end like this?"
Steel: "'Full power' is our strategy?"
Prometheus: "Don't need a clock to tell me our timing's perfect! I'm inside the brain of the Justice League and believe me, it's not much to look at."
Plastic Man: "Earth is under attack from killer space-bees? Just when you think there can't possibly be anything funny about interstellar warfare, huh?"
Huntress: "Kyle...you're not an insect, you're a human being! You're Green Lantern, you control the most powerful weapon in the universe, remember? Which means your willpower is stronger than a bunch of bug pheromones. I know it is! And if it isn't, I'm going to shoot you in the head..."
Green Lantern: "Maple syrup; I was trying to drown that weird Old Testament cereal Zauriel brings in, next thing I know the bad guys are dining out on my brains."
Green Lantern: "If I stumble into a nest of superbees you'll hear the buzzing."
Martian Manhunter: "This is J'onn J'onzz activating full telepathic link. Counter-offensive has begun."
Batman: "I can see fifteen ways to kill you from this position. That's how vulnerable you are, Prometheus. But I'm not going to kill you. I'm here to bring you to justice."
Prometheus: "Hih. I beat you senseless last time, just to show you I could. And now, I'm going to hamstring you, lobotomize you with an icepick and leave you drooling for the others to find. Let's go, Batman...."
JLA #38

World War III Part Three
Newscaster: "Here is the news. May God forgive me."
Green Lantern: "...Ah....Don't I know your face from somewhere?"
Batman: "Your nervous and muscular systems are now being imprinted with the physical characteristics of one man....Professor Stephen Hawking!"
Huntress: "...Did I see you cheating?"
Batman: "Winning. First time I ever hit a man with motor neuron disease."
Orion: "Then as Orion in his wrath let me confront the annihilator! The blood red game of Gods has begun!"
Metron: "There are no barriers to my Mobius Chair. I am present in the Meta-Here. The Hyper- Now. The Omni-Moment."
Oracle: "That's some chair."
Eiling: "Why? Just to see the disapointment on your corn-fed, gee-whiz face, Superman. And because a great dark voice on the edge of nothing spoke to me and said you all had to die."
Superman: "Eiling...."
Eiling: "There is no 'why?'"
Aquaman: "You want to fight? Then fight for ME!"
Plastic Man: "See, back in the lean years, I used to share prozac with a no-hope hero called the Red Bee; Loser loved bees like some men loved their mothers and he loved talking about 'em even more...all the way until last call."
Barda: "Plastic Man, this almost looks like a plan..."
Plastic Man: "I only act dumb, sister."
Plastic Man: "You know why me and Steel hang out? We're both lateral thinkers."
Green Lantern: "Luthor! You're the smartest guy on the planet, right? That's what you always tell us....You know, I'm losing respect for a great criminal mastermind here..."
Green Lantern: "Luthor, you're being outsmarted by a giant eyeball!"
Superman: "Wrecked. Everything we built is in ruins. They succeeded in the end; Luthor, Prometheus. They smashed the League to pieces like ignorant children."
Batman: "Don't be so sentimental; You and J'onn can build another headquarters in ten minutes. Forget the Watchtower....They didn't get us."
Zauriel: "Unto you I commend my-----"
Green Lantern: "Zauriel?"
JLA #39

World War III Part Four
Aztek: "....At is core is an engine....of mindless souls....Robots....scurrying....carrying its thoughts in little boxes from one part of the gigantic brain to the next....I penetrated the Dark God's boiling cosmic shroud....Surprised my suit could adapt for space travel...Through raging thoughtstorms taller than continents....Falling deep into labyrinthine mechanisms. Its brain is like a city, a world in flames....It cannot be argued with. It cannot be threatened. It will simply exterminate us. All of us. I saw one of its thoughts and was blinded in an instant. It's rising up from beneath our solar system. All my life, the Q Foundation trained me for this, to face the Dark God Tezcatilipoca. And I failed."
Mr. Miracle: "It's not a god; it's a weapon capable of destroying gods."
Firestorm: "Uh, how does it feel about people?"
Booster Gold: "...Lost the gut, Ted."
Blue Beetle: "I'm wearing a girdle."
Booster Gold: "Thought as much. Nice bra too. End of the world again?"
Blue Beetle: "Yeah. Bwah-ha-ha....."
Elongated Man: "If these guys organized, we'd be dead."
Green Lantern: "I need volunteers for upper atmosphere work. Anybody got any questions, try looking up. I'm JLA, Guy. We are the professionals."
Martian Manhunter: "We have the Boom Tube apparatus Orion brought. Earth is only a loud noise away..."
Superman: "This is why we formed the League. We vowed to protect the Earth and its people, even if it costs us our lives. Now we're facing the greatest threat of all. We can't falter."
Martian Manhunter: "But we know nothing about Mageddon. This is technology from a lost universe. We know nothing of the risks you could face in there, Superman..."
Superman: "Perhaps. But one thing we know for sure: It's here to destroy all life in its path and there's no one around but us to stop it."
Huntress: "So, who's scared now? You like hurting women? You like to hurt people and mess them up inside, is that what you like? Close your eyes, Prometheus. This won't hurt a...."
Huntress: "He deserves it, Batman, you know he does...."
Batman: "Follow me to the ship and bring Prometheus. We're going home. And Huntress...I don't need killers in the League: Consider your JLA membership revoked."
Huntress: "....What...You can't...."
Batman: "You heard me."
Orion: "At last. To test my fire against the terrible hammer of the Old Gods."
Superman: "We go in there and we do the job, Orion. Whether this thing's aim is the extinction of all life on Earth or not...it's still just a weapon. It can be shut down."
Batman: "This place gives me the creeps."
Queen Bee: "There are almost six billion independent mindsszz on thiszzz planet. By tomorrow there will be none. Long live the Queen!"
Steel: "About how long did you have in mind, your majesty?"
Steel: "Man/Machine fusion: Smarter than the average bee."
Big Barda: "I don't need instructions, Wonder Woman."
Steel: "Plastic Man had a plan..."
Big Barda: "What plan?"
Steel: "Ask him....He's the red, yellow and pink lava-lamp catasrophe right here."
Big Barda: "You'd be funny if you weren't so...unfunny, Steel."
Big Barda: "Think fast."
Steel: "You wound me, Barda."
Big Barda: "No. When I wound you, you stay wounded."
Oracle: "This is World War Three!"
Mr. Miracle: "Not if we can help it."
Green Lantern: "I like you better than J'onn in my head..."
Green Lantern: "Man, this is like the best arcade game."
Green Lantern: "Are we fighting that?"
JLA #40:

World War Three Part Five
Oracle: "Last chance to save the world, guys."
Green Lantern: "Uh. The last thing I say is 'uh?' That is so lame. I'm supposed to say: 'I died saving the universe like all the good superheroes....' I'm supposed to be exploding, eyeballs first, special effects style. I'm supposed to be dead in space without my power ring. So where am I and who am I talking to?...."
Metron: "Regard this organism; this prodigy among the stars....This Earth. Its expressive diversity of creation. Its self-evolving perfection. And soil fertile enough to grow gods if spared the wrath of the last survivor of a war that ended in fire 15 billion years from here. Preserve this world!"
Green Lantern: "I'm just this guy, you know?"
Metron: "Is that Mageddon's will? Or is it yours? As New Genesis is to the Fourth World, Earth shall be to the Fifth that is to come."
Oracle: "Sorry if I yelled at your mind."
Firestorm: "Ah, no problem. I'm kinda used to voices in my head."
Barda: "We sting too."
Steel: "I made a bet with myself: I bet I could fix it before sunset. If the nerve interface works, I owe myself fifty dollars."
Animal Man: "I was in JL Europe for a while. You'd have to ask them how that happened."
Wonder Woman: "We're trying to fight to end war? It's a paradox."
Wonder Woman: "Superman just threw himself into a Boom Tube with Orion, didn't he? Why does he do these things?"
Batman: "I know. Sometimes he forgets we're all as responsible as he is."
Batman: "J'onn...I know you're a little bit fascinated by what you encountered out there. Be careful: 'The abyss gazes also...,' as they say."
Flash: "Now tht ws a run."
JLA #41

World War III Part Six: Mageddon.
Zauriel: "I am Heaven's represenative on Earth. I died to come here! To plead Humanity's case before the Courts of Light. Instead, I find the Almighty Hosts of the Pax Dei overseeing the architecture of a new universe. This world, this teeming, living globe that we angels have been blessed to behold since the Presence was first made manifest.....Has Heaven abandoned creation to the Primordial Annihilator?"
Oracle: "....Oh, wow....This mind-thing is too intense...."
Oracle: "After us, there's nobody. We have to shut it down. We have to shut it down forever."
Flash: "It's a long story and it already feels like we've been talking for months."
Flash: "(The Glimmer) ran perpendicular to time."
Flash: "He's telling us we have an outside chance, Guy. You should listen more."
Batman: "Everybody out. I'll apologize for my rudeness later."
Martian Manhunter: "...All is lost...."
Batman: "I don't believe that for a second."
Batman: "What should I expect to feel?"
Martian Manhunter: "Despair. Cosmic despair. Telepathic contact with Superman is only possible through the Mageddon mindfield that holds him in thrall. It broadcasts on the lowest psychic frequencies...horror...shame...fear...anger..."
Batman: "Okay, okay. Despair is fine. I can handle despair and so can you."
Batman: "Clark can spin mountains on his little finger, but....He'll be trying to shake its hand while it gnaws out his intestines. I'm not afraid of the dark, J'onn."
Green Lantern: "Come on. This is easy, Rayner. It's just willpower; your willpower against a monster bomb from the dawn of time....What is this? Performance anxiety? Is this because deep down I never believed I was good enough for the JLA? Get real, Rayner! Quit whining and whup some primordial butt!"
Green Lantern: "You're throwing self-doubt at us? Mageddon, dude, you're up against the Jerry Springer generation."
Wonder Woman: "I came to man's world to bring peace: Now's my big chance. Let's build the anti-war ray."
Wonder Woman: "Is this possible, Animal Man?"
Animal Man: "We live on a planet of the possible, Wonder Woman."
Black Lightning: "If I explode like a bird on a wire, you're on your own."
Zatanna: "!Sognimalf emoceb snopaew"
Black Canary: "...Flamingos?..."
Zatanna: "First thing I thought of."
Ray: "...I'm one of the good guys....I can't die like...."
Aquaman: "Lay down your arms! I'm serious and I have the firepower to prove it! Sworn protectorate of over fifteen thousand submarine states. My territory surrounds every continent on the planet. I rule most of this planet's surface and almost all of its depths. So don't even think about picking a fight with the King of Atlantis."
Zaruiel: "I pray you're kinder to the creatures of this new world you're making. I know where my heart lies."
Orion: "...I live...And I am my father's son! Monster of Apokolips! Orion, the Hunter! Harrier of worlds and gods! Mageddon beware!"
Green Lantern: "It's always the same at these things, huh? You talk for five minutes on the stairs between epic battles...."
Flash: "You look rough, Kyle, but...I can't believe I'm saying this...you look like Green Lantern, man."
Green Lantern: "Yeah. Finally starting to feel like him, too."
Martian Manhunter: "....Dark...Empty...Meaningless...Oblivion..."
Batman: "Sounds like my last date."
Batman: "We ALWAYS win!"
Batman: "I don't care if it can destroy ever god in every heaven, Clark! It's never faced us before!"
Aztek: "It's only a machine the gods made, like one of those clocks in Prague: It knows when to tick and when to tock. It carries out certain basic functions."
Aztek: "I am in the heart of the Shadow-God of my people, Tezcatilipoca and he's just an old computer. Just a machine. But for a long time we had a weapon designed to stop him. The weapon is called 'Aztek.' Tell them I did my duty...."
Batman: "I know it feels terrible, Clark, but we've faced terror and loss before. We were forged in those fires! We didn't go under! We didn't fall! Don't you dare fall now, Clark!"
Prime Minister: "Give the cockroaches a turn..."
Baumiel: "They're not quite ready for the responsibility, Mr. Prime Minister. Trust me."
Baumiel: "No more death."
Aquaman: "...Ceasefire orders coming in from every head of state. Angels are threatening your leaders with flaming swords and spears. I like Zauriel."
Zatanna: "Hey, I'm nominating you for the Nobel Peace-stroke-special effects prize, Aquaman."
Flash: "Lst mnt rscues my spcialty. Y nd pwr?"
Glimmer: "I am power."
Steel: "If I didn't trust everyone here, I'd say this is insane."
Glimmer: "For Wonderworld! For Life! I summon the armies of Man!"
Oracle: "All this amazing stuff you're seeing and feeling is what Superman feels like all the time....It's why he wants to save us...Hah!..."
Batman: "Last chance...and I can't belive I'm trying to convince you..."
Batman: "Save them, Superman, or, God help me, I'll hound your through the afterlife until you beg for mercy!"
Superman: "...I...really hate...that lecturing tone, Bruce....But it's always when I need to hear it most."
Superman: "You're never alone in the JLA, Bruce."
Green Lantern: "Are they slowing down? Tell me they're slowing down 'cause I have a headache the size of Manhatten."
Superman: "Doomsday is cancelled until further notice."
Batman: "I knew you'd say that, Clark. Just wasn't sure when...."
Oracle: "Thanks to you all, there will be a tomorrow."
Metron: "When the Fourth World universe of us New Gods is made complete and put away, the Gods of the Fifth World will arist from this planetary cradle."
Aquaman: "I'll shake any brave man's hand, Orion, but I hope to the bottom of the deepest ocean trench that we never meet again!"
Orion: "Ha! I hope your wish is granted, Fish-King!"
Metron: "This planet no longer requires our presence. We have shown you the shape of the world to come. Now you must find the way there. Farewell."
Green Lantern: "Dude, I thought they'd never leave."
Green Lantern: "Doctor Destiny?"
Flash: "Lightweight. Ten minutes tops."
Superman: "Well, Batman? Come on. We're the Justice League. You know you love it."
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