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____________________________#______________________________
By Robert Casey
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Happy Holidays Happy New Year Merry Christmas
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Armenian PARI DZOUNOUNT
Catalan BONES FESTES
Chinese GUNG HAY FAT CHOY
Czech STASTNY NOVY ROK VESELI VANOCE
Dutch
Esperanto FELICAN JARFINON
Gaelic ATHBHLIAIN FAOI MHAISE
German FROHE FEIERTAGE FROHES NEUES JAHR FROHE WEIHNACHTEN
Hawaiian MELE KALIKIMAKA
Hebrew CHAG SAMEACH
Hungarian KELEMES UNNEPEKET
Japanese O-SHINNEN OMEDETO GOZAIMASU MERI KURISUMASU
Polish WESOLYCH SWIAT
Portuguese BOAS FESTAS BOM ANO NOVO BOM NATAL
Romanian SARBATORI FERICITE LA MULTI ANI
Russian S NOVIYM GODIYM S ROZHDYESTVA
Spanish PROSPERO A¥O NUEVO FELIZ NAVIDAD
Turkish IYI YILLAR
Ukrainian VESELYKH SVYAT
Yiddish GUT YONTIF
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* X ! X ! X ! X ! . ! X ! X ! X ! X *
* O O O O .|. O O O O *
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* Athbhliain Faoi Mhaise! '|` Happy New Year! *
* Frohe Weihnachten! *:* Chag Sameach! *
* Sarbatori Fericite! * . * Boas Festas! *
* Joyous Solstice! ** ** Gut Yontif! *
* Mele Kurisumasu! *** o *** Iyi YIllar! *
* Mele Kalikimaka! *\ O * Wesolych Swiat! *
* Merry Christmas! ** \\ ** Velelykh Svyat! *
* Happy Hanukkah! *** \\ *** Stastny Novy Rok! *
* Pari Dzounount! * o \\ * Kelemes Unnepeket! *
* Happy Holidays! ** O \\** Season's Greetings! *
* Veseli Vanoce! ***\\ o \*** Gung Hay Fat Choy! *
* Feliz Navidad! * \\ o * Felican Jarfinon! *
* Joyeux Noel! ** o \\ O ** Joy to the World *
* Bom Natal! **** \\ o **** - And to All a *
* God Jul! ** o o \\ o ** Good Night! *
* Cheers! *** O \\ *** *
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************* A
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*********** VERY
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******************* MERRY
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*************** CHRISTMAS
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*********************** AND MY
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******************* BEST WISHES
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*************************** FOR THE NEXT
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****** YEAR
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'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
Copyright by Harvey Ehrlich
CLICK HERE to read some inspirational Christmas stories.
CLICK HERE to go to the WebTV information.