~Memories of Mom~



**Her wish to have one yellow rose symbolizing each of her children**





One Hour With Mom
Your Room
Everywhere
Mama's Music
Trapped
Deathmask
It could be Time
Nightmares
Those Eyes

~One Hour With Mom~

Dear God, I need an hour
a miracle of time. . .
Just sit her down beside me
so her heart beats next to mine.

I'll tell her all the things
I always meant to say. . .
I'll hold her close to me
and pretend she's going to stay.

I'll tell her that I love her
more than I ever thought I could~
How very much I miss her
will be clearly understood.

I know she'll kiss my tears
and and beg me not to grieve. . .
She'll somehow ease my pain
before she has to leave.

So please God, just an hour
in my heart I know you can~
But I'll settle for a minute
then you can have her back again. . .

~Your Room~

My eyes drift slowly around your room,
cluttered and musty
and silent. . .
A mournful memorial of your life~
a painful reminder
of your death.
Your bed stands in endless vigil
pillows propped at the headboard~
rumpled covers in a heap. . .
Looking like you just stepped out.
The walls are of your touch
and all that you hold dear~
pictures of children
and grandchildren. . . and other
gifts of love.

The sewing box sits in it's usual place
your telephone waits quietly
for calls that never come. . .
I still feel you in this room~
your life, your love,
your goodness~
I sit here through the nights
waiting, hoping...to absorb
whats' left here of you~
Praying for the strength and courage
to get up. . . to go on. . .
to finally say " Goodbye". . .



~Everywhere~

You are gone,
yet I feel you still. . .
All around me.
a gentle warmth
That finds me~
in my sorrow.

I hear your sweet
melodic voice
Caressing my ears
in the wind chimes
You know I love.

I see you. . .
In the sunlight,
a cascading waterfall
Of rainbows
through my windows.
You are everywhere
and nowhere. . .
But always~in my heart.

~Mama's Music~

Sitting quietly in your room,
pen and paper in my hand. . .
I tried to write the words
to help me understand.
I wrote you mournful poems. . .
pouring my heart out on the page
Trying to cope with grief
and a silent, senseless rage.

As I closed my eyes and wept,
blinded by anguished tears~
A melodic, tinkling sound
mesmerized my ears.
The music box you cherished
was softly playing it's song~
And I could feel that it was you,
still here where you belong. . .


~Trapped~

In a cold white bed~
metal rails, like prison bars
Keep you in. . .
but also keep me out.
Your mournful eyes
meet mine and say. . .
More than I can bear
to know.

Behind those eyes,
are burning pages~
Of all you lived and loved
and pain. . . for all you'll
Never see again.
Yet, you suffer most
in knowing. . .
hearts will shatter~
Left here. . . without you.

~Deathmask~

God, blind me to her clouded eyes,
reduced to just a stare~
I cannot bear the emptiness
I see now living there.
As her dying body lies in wait
to join her missing mind~
She looks at me from some far place
I can't begin to find.
She doesn't cry, she never smiles. . .
God's taken all the best~
I pray that He will hurry back
and take away the rest.

~It could be Time~

Close your eyes and try to sleep
and maybe when you wake
You'll be sitting in the shade
overlooking a peaceful lake.
Or maybe you 'll look outside
and see gently falling snow~
Or search the sky and see
the splendor of a rainbow.

When you open your eyes again
the pain will all be gone. . .
You'll wake to a brand new life
as the day begins to dawn.
Could be that now's the time
as the light begins to dim~
For God to take your hand. . .
and lead you home with him.

Nightmares

I thought I was asleep
for it could not be your fate. . .
To end here in this lonely place
where dying bodies lie in wait.

I saw you in this horrid dream
devoured by disease~
I looked into your soft, sad eyes. . .
brimming with love and memories.

I clasped your hands to keep you here
your name was but a silent scream.
I cried, I prayed, I begged. . .
please.....wake me from this dream!

But as i wept, a chilling wind
from out of nowwhere blew~
Brilliant lightning ripped the sky,
decending straight for you!

With pounding heart and fearful eyes
I watched your life decay
To nothing more than puffs of smoke,
that cruelly blew away. . .

Now I 'm frozen to this spot
afraid to live or leave~
Searching for the secret place
where I won't have to grieve.

I had so much to tell you
so much you couldn't see~
Truths locked so long within my soul
. . . no time to find the key.

I'm sure you knew I loved you
but you couldn't know how much~
And wouldn't know the boundless depths
to which this love did touch.

To not have spoken more of love
tears my mind apart~
And loosed the demons of remorse
to haunt my breaking heart.

I need to hear your special laugh
and see you standing there. . .
All smiles and waiting arms~
alive and so aware.

Then you'll look into my eyes
and dab away a tear~
And softly you will tell me
what you know I ache to hear. . .

That you always knew I loved you
and you even knew how much~
For my eyes were liquid mirrors
that allowed our hearts to touch.

I have no doubt I'll wake
but I don't know how or when~
And I'll leave this awful place
and never sleep again. . .

Those Eyes

Those eyes . . .
I can't forget
Those eyes. . .
I see them ~ yet
They've burned a searing hole
in the deepness
of my soul.

Those eyes. . .
still break my heart
Those eyes. . .
will be a part
Of everything I know
about the pain. . .
of letting go.

All poems the original work of the owner of this page...
Sharon E. Bierly~© 1997 all rights reserved.