============================== CHANNEL Public ==============================
Bernie 24s|Drukin 8m|Eliniell 35s|Gwarg'Koh 2m|Omfast 0s|Telelas 1m
Bombur 2m|Earil-Nioldor 7m|GrimJack 30s|Nomad 2m|Randel 4s|
==============================================================================
Omfast puts on his One Ring he bought for $699 and stealthily sneaks up
on Randel...
Smoke pours from Mt. Doom as the Dark One's evil sorcery lags the game.
The smoke clears as good triumphs and the database saves.
Randel senses something and whips around, given time to pose by the
lag. "Oh, nobody here..." and turns back.
Earil-Nioldor says, "whoa trippy, omfast puts on the one ring and smoke
pours from mt doom..."
Omfast silently sticks a post-it saying "Flatfish Fetish" on Randel's
back.
Earil-Nioldor says, "heya sauron you got a thief puttin notes on people out here, zap 'em!"
Earil-Nioldor grins evilly.
Randel hums innocently and happily, quite unaware of the evil deed of
Omfast.
Omfast moves away and takes off the ring. Smiling innocently, he takes
a plastic flatfish from his pocket and now the dark magic of the post-it starts
its evil-doing: The urge to do what ever flatfish fetishists do to flatfishes
arises from the dark corners of your mind...
Randel screams, twists around and rips off the note! Muahahahaha!
Randel +wields her fell Titanium Halibut of Doom!!!!
Omfast looks around innocently and asks with a sly tongue, "What
happened, Randel my friend? Art thou troubled by evil-doers?"
Eliniell says, "Hi! Anyone around who uses SMIAL?"
Randel's halibut takes on a life of its own! It flies through the air
and @baps Omfast, as a huge chorus of voices swell in unison, "The halibut! The
Halibut! The halibut hath @bapped Omfast the oppressor of innocent Breefolk!"
Randel says, "the hobbits do, Eliniell. ;)"
Omfast rises in anger, a fell light surrounding him as he casts his
shadows about him. "How dare you??" and he +whips out his toothpick of
toothpicking +10. With it, he stabs Randel's halibut in the eye!
Bernie uses Smial...
Randel laffs loud and lustily. "My Halibut is of Titanium, O Omfast the
feeble! None can harm it, least of all you and your toothpicking of +10!"
Eliniell says, "That makes Bernie a friend of mine :). I have had some
problems with logging..."
Omfast says, "Just found out that the One Ring cannot be purchased from
the website if you're in Germany, Austria or Switzerland. In Germany, the One
Ring can be purchased from http://www.elbenwald.de/, it seems. I wonder what
sort of intrigue and backstabbing is going on between the makers of One
Rings... :)"
Randel declares, "Behold! My Spork of Dread! It falls upon you!" as a
massive plastic spork descends from above, pinning the hapless hobbit into the
earth!
Omfast retorts, "A fool you have been, and a fool thou wilt remain,
Randel the feeble! For e'en when thy halibut cannot be touched, you can!" and
with a twist, he frees himself from the spork and jumps upon Randel from above,
avoiding the halibut and poking the toothpick between Randel's teeth. There, he
picks like a chicken on speed, utterly paralysing you.
GrimJack says, "I thought it was funny that the one referenced in
public spelt Meticulous wrong on their web site :)"
Omfast chuckles, "They seem to be based in Germany."
Randel shrieks, and her shriek is the shriek of One Who
Counter-Paralyses With A Shriek! And Lo! A light shines from above, neutralising
Omfast's nefarious deed, and rendering the evil hobbit powerless! The light
strengthens and restores Randel to full power; she laughs at the puny halfling
and twirls the Spork; a whirlwind emates from the Spork and spins Omfast till he
falls to the ground in a swoon.
Omfast swoons, and even as he swooned, his power was a wonder to
behold, for these where the days before the dwindling of hobbits, and the fire
of Smials still burnt fierce in their souls. As he swooned and sighed, his
breath poisened the fools come too close to gloat, and with his hand, he cracked
the public channel. And as the channel was broken, it was drained, for its
foundations where broken. One of the cracks opened under Randel, and like an
Evil Emperor of old, Randel fell into the abyss, and never again was she seen by
mortal eyes.
Randel of old was seen not by mortal eyes, it is true, for behold! What
is that which leaps from the ground, bursting the earth asunder? Ah! It is
Randel Renewed, clothed in dazzling white, glittering like fell halibut scales;
and her Saucepan of Wrath brandished in her hand. Swifter than Gwaihir Windlord
the Saucepan swooped down upon Omfast the Swooning, and connected with his
cranium with a resounding thud, yea, a thud greater than if great Tulkas let
fall a great rock from a great height.
Omfast was smitten, for he was caught unawares. But when thud of thuds
resounded in the channel, the echo was piercing and in latter days it was called
Spaminieldor, the Land of Echoing Spam. And the saucepan was broke asunder
there, overcome with the headstrongness of Omfast, for his head was as hard as
the bones of the earth itself which not even Melkor could break, for it was
rooted in the music of Illuvatar itself, resounding with the powers of the Elder
Days. And as he rose from the ground, the shadows fell away from him and he
revealed his splendour. And he smote Randel down, using but the lightest touch
of his little pinky finger. "Hush, my love," he said, "Be quiet now for your
time has not yet come. You are but a fledgling now, and must abide your time."
Randel seemed at first overcome; but suddenly a roar blasted out from
the far reaches of the channel; and a huge dark cloud, like a mighty fist, dealt
a swift and terrible blow upon the Hobbit Revealed; and it was dreadful to
behold. "Touch not The Lady of the Halibut!" thundered the disembodied cloud;
and another blow, which (truly as Omfast described it himself) the bonehead of
Omfast resisted not, and indeed caved in upon meeting.
No'oneami says, "The heck?"
Omfast's head caved in and his form changed. He transformed into a huge
winged snake and breathed fire upon the channel and it burned. And he breathed
fire upon the people that dwelt therein and they burned. And he breathed fire
upon the Lady of the Halibut, and she burned! In fact, she dried up and turned
into a tiny little lady of the stockfish as the old fishermen of the north used
to hang in the cold air in long winter nights, dried, shrivelled, and well
conserved. Omfast takes a little tincan and puts the lady inside.
Red flows the Brandywine; with flame the river kindles,
as sun sinks beyond the Shire, and then to grey it dwindles.
Raugha rises in unholy, meepish glory over the Lady of the Halibut and
the winged snake ...
Omfast mumbles the incantation of the anti-meep.
Bernie coughs...
Omfast desinfects Bernie.
Raugha shatters all puny cantrips and incantations that attempt to face
My power.
Raugha says, "O Meepish Power, fill up my soul; I am the Godling Meep!"
Raugha aims a meepful hand at Omfast. "Know, ye dogooder, that I am He
whose Meeps Pierce the Veils of the Dawn."
Bernie shakes his head at Gulp...
Randel,tinned? Alas, a dread and bitter cold fell upon the
channel, as the golden warmth of the Halibut Lady was concealed in the cruel
can; yet within the can, can the Halibut Lady remain canny; and deep within the
recesses of the container didst a faint knocking vibrate. And lo! Lo! Lo again!
The can hath bloated, and rent, and fallen in a thousand sparkling shards, as
Randel the Rehydrated comes forth, her hitherto hidden Can-Opener of Greatness
borne aloft! Good has triumphed! Sing all ye peoples!
Omfast sings.
Omfast continues to sing, but in the depth of his being, he resented
Randel's power and he started to introduce subtle changes into the song, and it
was changed... Discord arose... But that is another story. :)
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