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Omfast, Randel and Dagroth meet the great Halibut

<Sb> Randel says, "OMFAST!!!!"
<Sb> Randel huggles.
<Sb> Omfast cries, "Randel!!!!"
==============================  CHANNEL Public  ==============================
  Angiest   1m  | Brongil    3m  | Dain     1m  | Olfo    1s  | Sauron   12s
  Ayalinde  2m  | Buubgarg  22m  | Keli     2m  | Omfast  0s  | Zijgrosk 17s
  Beaker   25s  | Daegwedir 16m  | Khazamr  7m  | Randel  6s  | 
==============================================================================
<Public> Omfast shouts, "Let all people join the spam NOW!"
<Sb> Omfast weeps with joy, "Oh, how I missed you."
================================  CHANNEL Sb  ================================
         Olfo 49s        |       Omfast  0s        |       Randel  2m
==============================================================================
<Public> Omfast cheers as the public channel crows roars with great joy!
<Public> Randel leaps up beside Omfast, brandishing the Halibut of Spam!
<Sb> Randel says, "sorry for the delay"
<Sb> Omfast misses you without delay!
<Public> Randel shouts a mighty shout, a shout that illuminates countless
hearts and brings a sudden stab of joy to all who have not yet bowed the kneee
to channel indifference: "ALL YOUR SPAM ARE BELONG TO US!" Yes! there is hope!
<Public> Omfast storming over the barricades of the quiet and the orcish,
follows the banner, roaring at the top of his voice, "Yay! Let there be spam to
end all spams, let there be hope for the dreary and roleplay for the lurkers!!
Spam them into oblivion! Beam me up, Gandalf, there's no intelligent spam
here!!"
==============================  CHANNEL Public  ==============================
  Angiest   2m  | Brongil    8m  | Keli     3m  | Omfast  0s  | Sauron   31s
  Ayalinde  1m  | Daegwedir 27m  | Khazamr 17m  | Randae 41s  | Zijgrosk  4m
  Beaker    9s  | Dain      12m  | Olfo     4m  | Randel  1m  | 
==============================================================================
<Public> Omfast throws his coffee away, blasts his salad into oblivion, drops
the caffeine syringe he was carrying around for the occasional heart attack
victim, pushes an innocent man from the public channel battlements into the
maws of them stinking orcs besieging the last bastion of good and spam, and
brandishes his giant halibut fork of ulmo power!!
<Public> Dagroth says, "Hmm.."
<Public> Randel leaps around in wild abandon, scattering the cowering
non-spammers left and right. Fireworks shoot up into the air, silhouetting
Randel and casting weird shadows on the scrambling forms.
<Public> Dagroth says, "There aren't many Isendrim here, are there?"
<Public> Randel screams in awe, "The Halibut! THE HALIBUT!"
<Public> Dagroth says, "...Yes, Randel."
<Public> Zijgrosk says, "Now I remember why I'm never on <Public>..."
Name set.
<Public> Lightning strikes the old public channel bastion of good and spam
tower, the thunder rolls up and down the walls and a deep fishy voice says
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaliiiiiiiiiiiibbuuuuuutt!!!"
Name set.
<Public> Randel sqeaks excitably, "Not "Yes", Dagroth, but "I am SURE!""
<Public> Dagroth hmms. "Well.."
<Public> Omfast cowers before the might of ol' Halibut, one of the last Old
Ones still roaming the realms, and starts hollering the song of mighty praise
for Mighty Old Ones, "MOO! MOO! MOO!"
<Public> Suddenly, a huge tsunami rolls up and floods the Public Channel. An
inexorable spray of icy salt water smashes against the channel walls, while the
deep fishy voice intones over and over again, "haaaaaliiiibuuuut..."
<Public> Dagroth says, "God you folks are odd."
<Public> Randel gluggles incoherently, trying to join in "Mooobblblbl!
Moooblblbl!"
<Public> Dagroth says, "I suppose nothing sane actually ever gets talked about
on here, does it?"
<Public> Omfast is washed away by the flood! He screams helpless as the
torrents turn him over and over in the mighty halibut maelstrom. Suddenly he
grabs an old floor floating by, scrambles onto it and gets up on his shaking
legs. He is surfing the public channel before the great halibut flood! "AWAY,
HEATHENS!!!" he shouts as he cuts through the hordes.
<Public> Omfast extends a helping hand to Dagroth as he surfs through the
bobbling heads of innocent halibut victims...
<Public> Randel is flung about by the waves, and swishes from one end of the
channel to the other helplessly. As she floats swiftly by Dagroth, she catches
hold of Dagroth's ankle! Will he succumb to the power of the waves with a
mighty splash?
<Public> Dagroth grabs onto Omfast.
<Public> Omfast shouts, "Success!!" as he drags Dagroth and Randel onto the
surf door!
<Public> Randel loses hold of the ankle clings onto the door.
<Public> Dagroth oofs.
<Public> Randel hollers in dismay as climatic forces pull her into AFKland!
<Public> Omfast and the others are safe on the door, but as the flood grows, as
the turrents churn more and more public channel interior into tiny littly mud
and mush particles, the door picks up speed!
<Public> Dagroth's grasp slips, and he flays frantically about. Of the one hand
still grasping the door, one finger slips. Then another. Looking about like an
orc about to pulled down by a flood he watches helplessly as his hand finally
gives. "Bwaaaaaaahhh!" he screams in a scratchy, orcish voice as the flood
sweeps him away.
<Public> Omfast flinches as he sees the big black drain of halibut nothingness
opening in the distance. The dregs of spam will be swallowed and forgotten in a
few minutes!! Frantically, he tries to prevent Dagroth from falling, to no
avail! He extends his halibot fork towards the orc... Will he grab it? Will
they get away?
<Public> Dagroth gets pulled into the black hole of halibut nothingness,
screaming something orcish all the way down.
<Public> Omfast says, "Ugh. What a dreadful end!"
<Public> Omfast decides a last minute effort is called for. He takes his
colorful coat, knots it into a balloon, puts Randel on fire and heats the air
in the coat. Slowly the coat bubble raises as the flames lick higher...
<Public> Randel returns from the unbearable AFKness of being, to find herself
on fire! "AIYEEEE!"
<Public> Ayalinde adds a few witches to the fire.
<Public> Randel looks up to see a massive wave about to crash upon them all,
and cheers, for therein lies her hope of extinguishing Omfast's thoughtless
pyromanics!
Announcement: Zadreth has changed the poll to: EverGottenATicketOnYourBirthday?
<Public> Randel says, "sends a thought balloon to Zadreth, in the split seconds
that the wave hovers overhead: "Nope"."
<Public> Randel types a few :::: too late.
<Public> Zadreth says, "The Washington State patrol is all heart."
<Public> Omfast ducks as the shadow of the halibut wave looms higher and
higher. Finally, the coat takes off. "Yay! Thar the goes!!!" Nevertheless, as
the wave crashes, the foam flies and the water rains down upon the poor
mortals, flames are extinguished, air cools, coats are soaked and a flying
hobbit and an extinguished woman fly through the public channel...
<Public> Randel says, "that is probably their way of acknowledging you, and
honouring you on your birthday. People have their ways, just like orcs do
things that you may not like, but with good intentions."
<Public> Randel returns to the cataclysmic happenings at hand.
<Public> Omfast fights the approaching colons that are trying to pull him down
again, down into the land of the unfree, the ticket paying fast drivers and the
orcish project leaders...
<Public> Randel cries exultantly, "I can fly! I can fly!"
<Public> Randel says, "oops. I can't fly any more."
<Public> Randel falls with a mighty thud.
<Public> Thud 
<Public> Randel says, "Not mighty enough."
<Public> THUD!
<Public> Omfast waves his arms up and down and indeed, there is no gravity 50
feet above channel grounds! It must be an anomaly! Omfast laughs and dashes
through the air like a hot hummingbird. Unfortunately, his theory is proven
false as the improbability antigrav bubble collapses...
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhhoooooo....."
<Public> Randel moves out of the way, in case she meets Omfast by accident.
<Public> Splash!
<Public> Randel flinches as icy spray flies everywhere.
<Public> Randel peers into the murky depths, wondering when Omfast will
surface.
<Public> Omfast is gone.
<Public> Randel counts, "One thousand, two thousand, ..."
<Public> Omfast waves his hand in the darkness. "It is so cold."
<Public> Randel takes up the halibut fork and dibbles it tentatively into the
water. "Uh.... omfast? Can you hear me? grab the fork!"
<Public> Randel says, "Yoooohoooooo!"
<Public> Randel sits on her heels and debates what to do, now that a seeming
tragedy has happened.
<Public> Dagroth resurfaces from the hole of halibut. He swims over to Randel
and grabs an orcish hand at the fork.
<Public> Randel shrieks and tries to withdraw the fork, quick as quick.
<Public> Randel asks Dagroth, "Did you do that with good intentions?"
<Public> Omfast waves some more in the darkness. "Ulmo?"
<Public> Omfast sees shapes in the darkness. "Halibut?"
<Public> Dagroth's orcish head bobs up once, and gives a look of dismay and
betrayal. He sinks down again, one orcish hand waving sadly as it goes beneath
the waves.
<Public> Omfast feels pain in the darkness. "Randel?"
<Public> Omfast sees orcish feet standing on his head!!
<Public> Randel takes that as a "yes". Ok, here, take the fork. She throws it
in where Dagroth is.
<Public> Randel seems to hear the waves murmur her name. Cool!
<Public> Dagroth sniffs, and grabs at the fork, now not knowing what to do with
it.
<Public> Omfast cries out in pain as he is stabbed with the fork again. He
claws at Dagroth's feet.
<Public> Dagroth giggles as only an orc can at the scratching of his feet.
<Public> Randel falls backward as the once-still water erupts in a frenzy of
splashes and unorthodox giggles.
<Public> Randel gets suspicious. "Is that you, Omfast?"
<Public> Dagroth stabs at Omfast, hungry for hobbit meat.
Announcement: Gollum has changed the poll to: Why Don't We Get Drunk And...
Anyone?
<Public> Dagroth says, "Gollum, ah o slimey one!"
<Public> Randel greatly regrets letting Dagroth have the fork, even if it was
his way of honouring OMfast. With a flourish, she brandishes the Whomping
Halibut of Great Power (tm), and leaps into the water to do battle.
<Public> Dagroth pulls out the LCM Cabbage of Fury, and whaps Randel with it.
<Public> Randel yells, "Khazad ai-menu" or whatever.
<Public> Kur says, "Oh, that Gollum. He is incorrigeble"
<Public> Randel flails backward as the Cabbage hits.
<Public> Dagroth watches as the Cabbage bingles happily.
<Public> Dagroth giggles, and crawls his way to the shore.
<Public> Randel wonders woozily if her skull has sprung a leek.
<Public> Randel notices Dagroth making his way to shore, and tries to ketchup.
Smoke pours from Mt. Doom as the Dark One's evil sorcery lags the game.
The smoke clears as good triumphs and the database saves.
<Public> Dagroth wields the Cabbage of Fury in one hand and the Halibut Fork in
the other. "Come get some!"
<Public> Randel yells, "Ah'm gonna beet you up, you corny orc!"
<Public> Dagroth smacks his lips.
<Public> Dagroth says, "I'll eat you, hobbit thing."
<Public> Dagroth bwaaaarrrooos.
<Public> Omfast surfaces, slowly. "Ugh."
<Public> Omfast crawls on shore.
<Public> Omfast gets up.
<Public> Randel looks at Omfast. "You OK? Lettuce go and wreak vengeance upon
yonder orc."
<Public> Dagroth quotes Sluggy Freelance. "It's a pun! It's funny!"
<Public> Dagroth whimpers at the sight of two hobbits. "Dagroth only snaga,
please no hurt Dagroth."
<Public> Randel quotes santa freelance. "hoe, hoe, hoe."
<Public> Stiffroot hurts Dagroth.
<Public> Randel looks at herself in surprise, then asks Omfast, "I didn't know
I was a hobbit, did you?"
<Public> Dagroth hmms. "Apparently not."
<Public> Dagroth hmms. "Well then. Sorry for the wrongness. Onto the killing,
then." he clears his throat. "BWAAARRGG!"
<Public> Stiffroot says, "Hoom, such hasty creatures. They will never learn."
<Public> Dagroth slows down. "hoooooooowwwsss, thhhiiissss?"
<Public> Stiffroot brushes Dagroth aside as a child would brush aside a
spider's web. :)
<Public> Randel brandishes her Fearsome Toothpick of Unvanguishable Battle
Especially Against Orcses (tm), and prepares for the anslaught.
<Public> Dagroth gwwarrrs. "Stooopid Ents."
<Public> Randel looks on approvingly as Stiffroot does the commendable.
<Public> Stiffroot says, "You can't talk. I smashed in your face."
<Public> Omfast groans.
<Public> Randel is a spec tater. ;)
<Public> Omfast's ears are all read from dreary business talk underwater. He's
confused.
<Public> Dagroth tries to talk, and blood gurgles up from the pit that used to
be his throat. Spitting wildly, he tries to stand up, but fails. He thomps down
to the ground again.
<Public> Stiffroot says, "You'll make a good orc. :)"
<Public> Dagroth nods.
<Public> Dagroth says, "Thanks."
<Public> Omfast walks over to Randel, "Are you ok? Why is the orc fighting the
tree?"
<Public> Stiffroot says, "He is Isendrim and I'm an Ent, Omfast. That's what we
do."
<Public> Randel will enlighten you, Omfast. "See that orc there? he's an aggie
tater. The gorgeous wonderful tree-like being is Stiffroot the Ent who has just
SQUASHed the orc. Ent good. orc bad."
<Public> Omfast nods in sudden understanding. "Ah. Good." He squats down
besides Randel. "Care for a smoke? I got some halibut weed underwater. And this
fight looks like fun."
<Public> Dagroth says, "So, what's this obsession with Halibut?"
<Public> Randel declines. (Hezzie-tater)
<Public> Randel says, "Ah! The Halibut! Its history is from the dawn of
time..."
<Public> Dagroth says, "So, the Mighty Eru created the Maiar, the Valar, and
the Halibut?"
<Public> Randel reminisces. "Yes. Way, way, way, way back ..."
<Public> Omfast shakes his finger at Dagroth and says, "Watch your mouth,
whatever's left of it, orc! The Hali-butt is revered by all of us!"
<Public> Omfast lags in spam!!
<Public> Randel nods to Omfast and continues, "yes, way back. And so Halibut
came to be. The end."
<Public> Omfast sings the halibut song, softly. "Haaa haaa haaalibut ohhh ohhh
ohhh."
<Public> Trezak notes his lead in the ESPN womens tourny challenge for
elendor:)
<Public> Randel croons in harmony, "oh oh, Haa haa haaalibut"
<Public> Stiffroot will be at the Women's Tourney in Pittsburgh this weekend.
;)
<Public> Trezak almost went to watch Uconn win last year
<Public> Dagroth says, "What's this challenge?"
<Public> Trezak says, "but it was fun at uconn...we burnt a couch:P"
<Public> Dagroth blinks. "What is this all about?"
<Sb> Randel retires to a corner, now. Thanks for the Pub channel fun, Gum --uh,
Omfast. :-)
<Sb> Omfast waves in halibutness :)
<Public> Trezak says, "just a game thing to see who can pick the winners of teh
NCAA womens tournament"
<Public> Randel raises a glass of bubbly, "To more spamness!"
<Public> Dagroth says, "Ahh."
<Public> Randel says, "oops. sorry miscom"
<Public> Omfast grins, "Actually, seems totally on topic, hehe."
<Public> Dagroth hmms. "Mauhur is idling."
<Public> Dagroth considers going to a different orcish culture...
<Public> Stiffroot says, "It's usually best to stick it out, Dagroth."
<Public> Hyena nyaaas -- Moria is always busy.
<Public> Hyena is just kidding around with you of course ;)
<Public> Dagroth grins.
<Public> Dagroth says, "Well, I like Isendrim."
<Public> Dagroth says, "I figure, since there's so few people, I won't have to
wait as long to become a regular orc."
<Public> Dagroth says, "Plus Saruman just kicks ass."
<Public> Hyena doesn't know the promotion policy there, so he can't answer that
one, but is glad you're happy and isn't trying to pull you away from there.
<Public> Dagroth says, "If Mauhur wasn't lagging, I'd RP...hmmm.."
<Public> Trezak says, "oh bah...he is a sissy...just like Sauron...only the
Balrog is cool:P"
<Public> Dagroth says, "Sure, but atleast in Isendrim I don't have to live in a
dark, wet, smelly hole in the ground."
<Public> Dagroth says, "Our hole is dry!"
<Public> Hyena says, "The Balrog is definitely where it's at baby. As a mine,
Moria is also awful dry, except in hte feast hall heh-heh."
<Public> Trezak says, "hey...that smell is HK and the wet from drunken
urination"
<Public> Durin's_Bane says, "I thought that wet spot was blood..."
<Public> Hyena says, "I SAID I was sorry about your boots Trezak ..."
<Public> Dagroth says, "It's dwarf piss, o Balrog."
<Public> Trezak says, "well it will be blood if Hyena doesn't clean my boots
quickly:)"
<Public> Durin's_Bane says, "Can't be, Dag. Haven't had dwarves in here for a
few years. More the pity. They make a good stew."
<Public> Durin's_Bane says, "If you cook them long enough."
<Public> Dagroth says, "Dwarf pee is hella hard to soak up."
<Public> Dagroth says, "A puddle can last atleast a decade or so."
<Public> Durin's_Bane says, "Ever heard of the concept of evaporation?"
<Public> Trezak says, "the beards are tough...but we give then to HK"
<Public> Dagroth says, "In a dark hole?"
<Public> Dagroth shrugs. "Dwarf meat is a bit tough. I like me-self that tender
elf flesh, I do."
<Public> Durin's_Bane suggests re-reading the relevant section of LotR. The bit
about the heat and fires... :)
<Public> Trezak says, "yeah but we got a fire demon walking around, complete
with flaming sword and whip"
<Public> Dagroth shrugs. "Yeah, yeah, I know."
<Public> Hyena says, "Yes, it is a good time visiting the relics of the last
dwarf invasion -- as far as who's baddest, don't forget the only creature who
worked Gandalf over ;)"
<Public> Trezak says, "yup...DB does alot of flaming:)"
<Public> Hyena says, "I think somebody's scared of the dark..."
<Public> Dagroth says, "Me? No, no. I'm scared of dark holes that have demons
in them."
<Public> Trezak says, "good...you should be:)"
<Public> Hyena says, "Umm hum...Last trespasser came this way left a diary if
you wanna read it ;)"
<Public> Dagroth thumps his chest, then realizes he's only a snaga, and slumps
down.
<Public> Hyena says, "I don't think the rank system applies on public Dags :P"
<Public> Dagroth shrugs.
<Public> Hyena says, "We're not IC, so being a snaga doesn't mean a whole lot
at the moment."
<Public> Dagroth knows this, but hey...
<Public> Hyena just wanted to support your snaga right to free speech on the
coms...
<Public> Ghlurshrekh says, "lol"
<Public> Dagroth grunts.

Alex Schroeder <kensanata@yahoo.com> / significant changes: 2001-03-21