It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, POW! It was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out..." 

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer?  None.  It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. 

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Honey, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!"  She replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just get the hell out!"

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bold and still think they are beautiful! 

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months-I don't like to interrupt her.

A man without a woman is like...  like a fish without a bicycle. 

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? 

A man is incomplete until he is married.  After that, he is finished.