It was a beautiful morning in Seoul, Korea. The birds were singing, the air
was crisp, the sun was shining, the people were sleeping.
Ten seconds later, the entire town was rocked by a loud noise that echoed
throughout the town.
The noise was a very loud "WHAT???"
"Come on, honey, it's a great idea! I talked with the kids, and they loved
the idea!" Kim Kaphwan smiled happily at his incredibly angry wife from
behind the sofa.
Kim's wife, Laura, stood in the entrance to the kitchen holding a VERY
large chair over her head and looking quite ready to use it. "We are NOT
going to leave! I've lived my ENTIRE LIFE in this country, and I plan to be
here a lot longer!" Laura waved the chair around in anger.
Kim smiled at his wife, who was very beautiful even when ready to beat your
head in with furniture.
"KIM!"
And spunky, too. Why, he remembered the day...
"KIM!"
Well, it was a night, really...
"Stop SMILING at me and start TALKING!"
But when you're reminiscing, it doesn't matter, see, not that he would nitpick...
WHAM! Kim's head fell to the force of the airborne furniture and he fell over.
Laura stomped angrily over to where Kim lay. "I'm NOT LEAVING!"
Kim hopped to his feet and smiled brightly at his wife. "Come on, Laura, it'd
be an adventure! Travelling... Meeting interesting people..."
"CRIMINALS!" Laura yelled, irritated.
Kim didn't stop smiling. "Laura, they're not criminals, and they'd be very
hurt if you called them that. Nobody is born evil. They just took a wrong turn
on the path of life and did a few mean things."
"BAH!" Laura turned around. "Why do I love you so much it irritates me sometimes?"
"Because you are a nice, caring person who gets a little angry sometimes and
has the support of a husband who is wholesome and loooooooves you?" Kim said
happily, still smiling his Mister Rogers-ish smile.
Laura turned back around, smiled a dazzlingly beautiful smile[note: Have you
SEEN his wife? Kim's one lucky bugger, let me tell you! ;)] and squeezed her
husband. "Of course. How silly of me." Laura looked thoughtful for a moment,
then smiled. "And yes, I'll go with you and the kids."
Kim hugged his wife and smiled. "You're going to love this idea!"
-----
(Well, it starts making sense soon. Really. It does.)
-----
Footsteps echoed in the dark prison as the guards led their captive along.
The door to the prison office was opened by one of the two guards, who
shoved the prisoner in.
The prisoner, a blond Japanese man dressed in black, got up off the floor.
He dusted himself off and turned to face the man sitting behind a desk.
The police chief, a muscular American with brown hair and a mustache, got up
out of his chair and walked over to the prisoner. "I suppose you're wondering
why you were called in here, Mister Yamazaki."
Ryuji Yamazaki said nothing, scaling up the man in front of him.
"I'm sure," the chief continued, "that you know you've been assigned the
death penalty for your crimes." The man held a stack of paper up that was
the size of five phone books piled end on end. At least. And they would
have to be those ones with the Yellow Pages in 'em, too. "Robbery, arson,
murder, assault and battery... I haven't seen records this bad since I was
Mayor of Metro City back in America!"
Ryuji slowly slid the hidden knife out of his belt. He grasped it tightly,
swung mightily, and was knocked to the opposite end of the room by a quick
chop from the chief.
"You see? That'd get you a few years of prison in itself!"
Ryuji slumped down in the corner. He was not having a good day.
"Not ashhh sharp anymore, Yamashhaki?" a new voice said.
Ryuji looked to where the voice had come from and saw... red hair. A LOT
of red hair.
To be precise, Iori Yagami was what he saw. Iori Yagami handcuffed.
Handcuffed and thouroughly beaten. Handcuffed, thouroughly beaten, and
looking pretty damn drunk, too.
The chief pointed to Iori. "We caught this one for the murder of two women
and stalking charges."
"I toldsha, pal, I' washn't shhtalkin', I wash upholdin' my fammly
honourrrr! That damned Kushinagi... I'll catch him, I will! Jusht you wait,
Kyo..." Iori started to giggle.
Ryuji blinked at Iori's words. "He's pretty hammered."
"We found him walking the streets, drunk as hell and singing "Bittersweet
Symphony" by the Verve. We did a quick check on the records, and found out he
murdered two secretaries. So, we brought him back and locked him up."
Iori nodded a wobbly nod. "Mishter Haggar'sh been sho good to meeee... I
love you, mannn..."
"We were going to execute the both of you," Mike Haggar said, "but this
guy convinced us to hand you over to him so he can reform you both." Mike
pulled a picture out of a stack of papers and showed it to the two. "He won
the King Of Fighters '97 Tournament with two ex-cons, who he says he "reformed."
It was a picture of Kim Kaphwan.
"So," Mike continued, "he's begun a public service of rehabilitating crooks by taking them
across Japan on a tour while teaching them to act properly in society. And guess what? We're
sending you two punks."
"You can't be serious!" Ryuji raged. "I've MET this guy! I can't STAND
this guy! I'm not going!"
Mike shoved the picture in front of Ryuji's face. "It's HIM..." Mike
crumpled the picture with one hand. "...or the chair."
Ryuji looked very unhappy.
Mike looked quite stern.
Iori looked rather drunk, and like he really had to use the bathroom.
(He did.)
"Alright," Ryuji said after a long pause, "I'll go on your damn trip."
"Good." Mike threw the paper over his shoulder, where it landed next to
something that was hissing.
"You will be handed over in two days. Behave yourself." Mike said calmly.
Iori staggered back to his corner. "Hey guysssshhh, I'm allll done now,
sho what'rr we talkin' about?"
"What?" Mike turned around, and his eyes bugged out of his head.
"My PLANTS!" He turned his back on Ryuji and walked dazedly over to the
scene. "My DESK! My RUG! My CAT! Oh, my GOD!"
Ryuji sighed. His future did not look pretty.
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