Billy Kane snuck into the Mens Washroom, where he had seen Kim Kaphwan
enter.
Billy had decided, after a long hard period of thinking (read: a
beer), to kill Kim during the intermission that had been called so the
janitors could clean Kyo Kusanagi off of the ring, then go back to his seat
(with a bag of popcorn, to avoid suspicion) and watch the rest of the card,
which included the semi-finals and finals of the tournament that would
decide the new holders of the vacant JWF Tag-Team Title Belts.
Billy slowly, quietly walked over to where Kim was washing his hands. (YES,
it was the sink, you degenerate! :p ) He quietly slipped the three pieces of
his stick out of the sheath on his back, assembled them, locked them in
place, twirled the stick a couple of times, and hit Kim squarely over the
head with it.
"Ow," a voice which was definitely not Kim's said. The man at the sink
turned around, and Billy noticed that the hair of his assaultee was longer
then Kim's. Glasses, were another thing Billy noticed. One thing was for
damn sure; this was not Kim.
"Jerk," The Author said, and gave Billy a good left straight to the
chin which sent him spinning 180 degrees to land on his back. He turned,
walked into a portal, and disappeared.
Billy lay on the floor, wondering exactly what had gone wrong there, until
a stall door opened and hit Billy right on the top of his little
bandanna-covered head.
Kim walked out of the stall, washed his hands, and left, not noticing Billy
behind the stall door. Billy took this opportunity to rattle off some very
disturbing and somewhat silly British curses in the direction of the
ceiling.
A piece of plaster, by some bizarre stroke of luck or fate(depends on how
you look at it... ^_^), took this opportunity to fall from the ceiling and
hit Billy square in the forehead, knocking him into unconsciousness, and
about time too, is what Billy likely would have said at this time if he
hadn't been out cold.
-----
Somewhere very far away, a mischievous giggled. This British guy was
even more fun then torturing Andy Bogard.
-----
Kim weaved his way through the crowd to get back to the seating area,
flipping through a program as he walked.
(Hmm de dmmm de dmmmmmmm....) Kim's mind hummed to itself as he swerved to
avoid a popcorn vendor. Unfortunately, this action caused him to accidentally
run into a large blond man, completely dressed in black, who whirled around
angrily.
"Alright, who the &$#( did that? I'll rip their #&$^#*& head off and stuff
it up their ^(#0$*& %@#! I'll..." He trailed off as he saw Kim, who was
standing there, in front of him, with his arms crossed threateningly.
"Back to your seat, Mr. Yamazaki," Kim said, giving Ryuji Yamazaki a #61
(the Somehow Stern and Threatening Smile).
Yamazaki muttered something that sounded very nasty and stalked off in the
direction of the entrance to the seating area. Kim followed behind closely,
congratulating himself both for clearing a path and for not actually letting
Yamazaki know who it was that bumped into him. He switched to his #15
(the I'm Reading, Don't Bother Me Smile) as he walked and read his program,
which without warning changed to his #94 (the Uh Oh Smile), which segued into
his #55 (the Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shit Smile, which actuallt doesn't look
like a smile at all) as he looked around frantically.
Suddenly panicky, Kim started shoving Ryuji forward, causing him to barrel
forwards through the doors to the seating area.
"HEY! OW! WHAT THE #*^$# ARE YOU DOING?" Ryuji yelled at Kim.
Kim didn't even notice, running to his son's seats, where his wife was
waiting.
"Dad," his son Jack asked, "where have you been? You missed the first
semi-final match."
"Listen," Kim said, "we have to l-"
"Kim," Rita asked, "do you have any money on you? The boys and I want
to go get some popcorn."
"Dad," Don asked, "are you alright? You look a little, I don't know..."
"Scared shitless?" Jack filled in helpfully.
"Yeah. You look a little scared sh..." Don trailed off, than shot a look at
his little brother, who shrugged and grinned.
Kim look even more panicky. "Look, we haven't got time for this. We need t-"
"THERE you are!" Ryuji ran up to Kim, looking very, very, VERY angry. "WHAT
THE %#(*$&# do you think you're DOING, shoving me int-"
"Later, Ryuji, later, we all have t-"
"Hey," Billy said, staggering over and holding his head. "what's
going on?"
"If we could all ju-"
"Laaa la laa la laaa la laaaaah, la laaah l-" Iori stopped walking and
stared at the group of people standing in Row 16. "Heyeyy, whattre all you
guys doing in the bathrmm?"
"WOULD YOU ALL JUST BE QUI-"
"Dad, is there something wrong?"
"Dear, do you have money for popcorn or not?"
"Whrrez the bathroom anywayy, Misster Kaff... Mistr Kip..."
"Anybody got some asprin with 'em? My head is really..."
"Dad, you alright? You're turning purple."
"Misster Kaphnaw..."
"Excuse me, sir, could I see your ticket stub?"
"LLLAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR THE SECOND SEMI-FINAL MATCHUP!"
"Does that announcer guy *have* to be so loud?" Don asked Jack.
"You think we could hear him over all this if he were mumbling?" Jack
replied.
"Sir? Sir? Your ticket stub?"
"KIM, WHAT THE #($^ ARE YOU D-"
"Oww, me head..."
"Misterr Kwan... no, thatzznt it..."
"Hey, what's goin' on? Why you all standin' around here?"
"DEE!"
"FIRST, MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RING..."
"Sir, if you don't have your tic-"
"'Ey, Luke, d'you 'ave some aspri-"
"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?"
"KIM, YOU'D BETTER-"
"Dear? Dear?"
"Dad?"
"*WHAT* *DID* *YOU* *CALL* *ME*?"
"...FROM SEOUL, KOREA... AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 1050 POUNDS..."
"...uh oh..."
"'Uh oh', Dad?"
"Dear, are you ok-"
"YOU CALLED ME *LUKE*!"
"Bleedin' hell, stop shoutin', willya?"
"...CHANG AND CHOI, THEEEEEEEE ROCKERRRSSSSS!"
The crowd erupted in cheers.
The group in Row 16 also erupted. In cheers? No.
"WHAT?"
"CHANG?"
"CHOI?"
"CHANG AND CHOI?"
There was a pause.
"KIIMMMMMMMM...."
"Uhm... Mom, calm down..."
"KIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMM...."
"Oh, bloody hell."
Everybody scattered as Rita began to take on an unhealthy red colour.
Kim sank down in his chair, obviously not pleased at all with the way
things were going.
"Uhm... I can explain this." Kim began.
Rita knocked him into the air with a folding chair.
-----
In the ring, Chang and Choi were talking to each other, preparing for the
match.
"Nice pants," Choi grinned.
"You too," Chang replied, grinning back.
This was a sort of running joke for them, as they had designed the pants
themselves. The pants were, well, ugly. Neon green, with a whole lotta
bandannas tied around them, they looked like something the cat dragged in,
rubbed in the cat litter, used as a scratching post, and threw back out
again. Chang's pants were slightly darker than Choi's were; this, they had
said, was so you could tell them apart.
Chang and Choi are not the brightest little troopers.
"AND THEIR OPPONENTS..." the announcer boomed.
"Ow," Choi said, covering his ears.
"WHAT?" Chang yelled, his hands over his ears.
"WHAT?" Choi yelled back.
"FROM LITTLE TOKYO, JAPAN... WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF 314
POUNDS... SPEEDY SERVICE AND GUIDO ANCHOVIS, THE SAMURAIIIIIIIIII PIZZA
CATS!"
The crowd cheered even louder.
Two human-like cat creature things walked to the ring. One was covered in
white armor, had a sword, and was kinda, well, short. The other wore blue
armor, carried a bamboo umbrella, and was currently eyeing the same girl
that unbeknownst to him had clocked Johnny Bravo a little while back.
This would be a fight of epic proportions. However, this chapter is plenty
long already, so I guess we're all gonna wait until Chapter Five, eh? ;)
-----
CHAPTER FIVE: COMING SOON. *REALLY* IT IS. ^_^
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