April's Headlines

Because I don't feel like actually trying...

Madden '09 to Add "Intangibles" as a Stat,
Dictionary Bursts into Flames

April Fools' Day Cancelled... April Fools!

Weight Watchers Watch Weight

Pro Golfer Collaborates with Uncle John's Bathroom Reader;
John Daly's Daily John out Soon

Emu Selected as New Mascot of Eastern Michigan University

Epsilon Alpha Tau Wins Eating Competition

NAACP Endorses McCain

Ovechkin Leaves NHL, Cites Fear of Hosers

Man Returns Bunch of Coconuts, Claims "Not Lovely Enough"

Facebook Announces New Corporate Icon, Bookface

Magic: the Gathering Renamed "Slight of Hand" to Avoid Offending Religious Zealots