Petra R:
"Behold the mighty cucumber!!"
"All bow down to the giant doughnut."
"Oooooohhhh... lookit the cute little sheep!"

Ellie G:
"Don't think of it as dying, think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush."

Dana G:
"Oh Mummy and Daddy, I love her and I'm going to love her for ever and ever and ever and ever, and I'm goint to play with her for ever and ever and ever and ever!!!"
"Mr Wooly is stoopid."
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmm - now I'm on the quotes page!!"

Craig E:
"Do and act the way you want to be."

Stephanie W:
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?"
"So what's the speed of dark?"
"If con is the opposite of pro, then what's the opposite of progress?"
"Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there."
"Why do they sterilize leathal injections?"

Jeff F:
"Wot I'm gonna do, is sneak up be'ind 'im and stick my thumb in 'is butt'ole. Thet should really piss 'im off, by crikey!"
"I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"Religion is man's attmept to communicate with the weather"

Josh T:
"Goats are our friends."
"Youth is wasted upon the young"

Dave Whitcroft:
"Physics is a big bejeezer!" - David Whitcroft on wave theory.

Drew (Screw) R:
"Be wierd and be proud of it, 'cause anything that's not wierd is normal, and normal is just a nice way of saying 'better luck next time.'"
"Eat grapes, sneeze on your left knee and kiss a door-handle. Preferably not all at once though, unless you're particularly adventurous ;-P"

Nicola Reid:
"Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup"

Emma J:
"An imagination once stretched never regains it original dimensions"

Vagabon:
"Don't underestimate the stupidity of people; you do and it will be your downfall."

Mel C:
"Confucius say, 'man who pick nose with chopstick while driving over speedbump have slight problem.'"
"We're not cookies anymore!"
"Cogito, ergo cogito me esse -- I think, therefore i think i am (excuse the latin mistakes)."

Sarah B:
"Remember, if all else fails, hop like a frog."

Scott B:
"Eat soap, smoke dope, and fly home in a bubble."

Kate M:
"Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you're still among the stars."

Lloyd H:
"Remember, irrelevance is the most important thing in life. Exploit everything you come across and take advantage of all meager weak minded fools that happen to cross your path. The only way to the top is to kill all those above you."

Matt B:
"Although there was no food, the monkeys thrived."

Penny D:
"Keep spinning out minds like mine."
"Listen to your angels and fairies."

Adam C:
"If the shits about to hit the fan, get out of the room."

Joel C:
"Live long and prosper (but only if you REALLY want to)."

Gavin U:
"Remember, sometimes monkeys die."

David W:
"Always iron your shoelaces."

Alistair S:
"If voting could change the system, it would be against the law."
"Those who wish to sing always find a song" -Swedish proverb
"Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death"
"The universities do not teach all things, so a doctor must seek out old wives, gypsies, sorcerers, wandering tribes, and such outlaws and take lessons from them." - Paracelsus (1493-1541)
"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from"
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate"(chemistry quote!!)

Adam F:
"Soon as ye born ya start to die."
"All's shit that ends shit."
"The light at the end of the tunnel has now been turned off due to budget cuts."
"It's not the quantity, it's the quality."
"A third class ride is better than a first class walk."
"Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?"
"What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull."
"If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me."

Julia Z:
"Seth lives his life without disillusion,
Which comes from being so wise,
Sees through the phoney-ass laughter,
And benifitial lies,
The distorted shadows of the night,
Playing tricks on naive eyes,
Allow the fantasy and anticipation,
That the clear of day denies,
Does the justice to our dreams,
On which our happiness relies."
"My name is Julia."
"I WILL think of something clever someday."
"Seth has a negative outlook, that is a bad thing."
"Seth speaks in a monotone."
"Sean Lindley is a revolting, MORBID, sleazy creep."
"!@~#$%^&&*(())+_("{>{>" --- just some little funny things for you."

E J Hull:
"If I was sane, I'd find it extremely boring."
"Never underestimate the power of guilt."
"Life is an allegory."
"My part is never straight, I guess that says something about me."
"Carameled popcorn has more caramel than popcorn, so it should be Popcorned caramel."
"Poo is fun but wee is more refreshing."
"Seth, you are forbidden to hit me again (unless it's in a kinky, sexual fantasy)."
"Seth is really good because he is Mushroom's father! Date of conception 20th December 1998."

Nick A:
"Steam can turn back into water, but toast cannot turn back to bread."
"A crumpet will always be crumpet, no matter how long you cook it."
"I've just been to the chiropractor and got my but crack."

Seth Merlin Etc.
"If you know it's a bad a idea from the beginning, why do it?"
"Shit happens, get used to it."
"Just because you can see it, it doesn't mean it's there (this was discovered when I went to lean on my wall and found that the wall was a few more feet to the left and fell through my doorway)".
"If it can't be explained, it probably shouldn't be."
"'Tis all a load of BOLLOX!"
"Frollicking is a way of life."

Kirra L:
"Eating hot chips cold defeats the purpose."
"Seth's hair should be bleached (by Kirra)."
"A world without Kirra is like a pen without ink."
"Kirra is a sex goddess."
"When I think of Sean, I think of flowers."

Sean L:
"When I think of flowers, I think of death."
"Without the threat of dying, there's no reason to live at all."
"To live is to die."
"It's not that life's short, it's just that you're dead for so long."
"Better to live and die than to be dead and live forever."
"Death be thy name"
"The day will come when God will be destroyed from peoples minds, this is the day I long for."
"Grief is a waste, so is fear."
"I was born for dying."
"The only one who can truly heal the wound is the one who wounded."
"The second best thing is dying, the best thing is never being born at all."

Melissa B:
"Down is not up."
"Only when you take off your sunglasses can you see the true colours of summer."

WebTracker
"Livet er hårdt, hårdt er besværligt"

Katie
"Patience is a virtue and grace is the little girl that doesn't wash her face"

Damo©
"If you spend all your time trying to be wise about life, you'll never actually LIVE."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who hesitates is probably right."
"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread."
"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines."
"42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot."

Anthony R:
"A truly wise man does not play leapfrog with a unicorn."
"Don't eat anything blue"
"You can tell the sex of a cromazone simply by pulling down it's genes."
"I know I'm a mushroom because they keep me locked in a dark room and feed me nothing but shit."

M Krause:
"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening."
"Take me on a trip, upon your magic swirling ship, and together we will drink, until we can't feel our own grip, we will sit on the edge, on the brink, for we have nothing to lose, and together we will drink till we run out of booze."
"It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."

Lizzi G:
"Only when it's dark can you see the stars."
"Dream as if you love forever, live as you die today."
"They can put one man on the moon. Why can't they put them all there?"
"If you must stick cucumbers on your eyes, make sure you slice them first"
"Good things come to those who wait; but so does death"
"Fish fingers do not make good pets"
"No girl is perfect. It's just that compared to boys we are."
"If a jobs worth doing it's worth making sure everyone knows that you're doing it"
"My teeth are clean, no braces to be seen, they're white out of site, I'm so happy it's obcene."
"My last day on the bus, this stupid piece of shit, nobody made a fusss, except Seth and Robbie and now they have ruined a perfectly good poem by being wingers,"

Leah M:
"The thoughts of some people are like the play things of infants."
"Life's like a box of chocalates, YUMMY!"

Jess R:
"With only one 'P'."
"I don't want to lose my lunch."

Briana D:
"Life is like an enigma no one can solve."

Alex K:
"Shut up before I mess you up."
"If you can't take a hint, get out of the kitchen."

Garry S:
"The smell of carrots is not good for the eyes, as it is oil stained and drooped by sultana banana's."
"Seth I saved your life, you owe me a coke."
"How does NO sound? A question often asked, I will try to answer this:
It sounds a lot like armagedden but different because No doesn't have an a or r or m or g or e or d in it, and armagedden doesn't have an o in it. So if you change all that is necessary then I have answered this question: How does NO sound?"

Ren:
"Invisible bathroom cricket and deep fried Tim Tams... These are a few of my favorite things... La da di da la da di da."
"Seth rules, as does the anti-bunny white gryphon."

Phil C:
"I smoke a blunt to check the pain out. And if I wasn't high I'd probably try to blow my brains out. Lord knows..." By Tupac Shakur

Sani P / Iain D:
"The toes you step on today, kick your ass tomorrow."

Kylie S:
"When life's a bitch as it usually will, don't run to me, I dont give a shit."
"Life's a bastard then you marry one."
"The tree of wisdom is rooted."

Ryan S:
"Hutton will die."
"I have arranged to buy a gun, now the time has come, the apocalypse has begun, Hutton's time is done."

Gonzo:
"Christianity is conformity and conformity sux."
"That nefarious aspersion soporificates."
"Ripe banana's rarely make good bookmarks."
"Avoid messing up your bathroom - make sure that you put the electric toothbrush in your mouth and then turn it on, not the other way round (I found this out the hard way)."
"Women with facial hair are rarely attractive."
"The lid is not always the colour of the pen."
"Let me just check up my arse."
"Start a movement, eat a prune."

Ollie A:
"You can cut your hair short, but you can't cut it long."

Jarrod E:
"Spewin'!"
"It's a hassle."

Iain D:
"Paddle pops and potatoes are good."

Simon R:
"Life is pain and pain is wicked."

Jayne D:
"You always make me do shit like this."
"As you make your way through life, make this your goal, keep your eye on the donut, and not upon the hole,"

Savanah H:
"I need to go to the toilet."
"My yam makes sad dogs."

Anthea P:
"I knew that, I'm telepathetic!"

D Page:
"Time would fly if it had wings."

Stefan P:
"131114, Lifeline, they care."

Billie Joe Armstrong (Greenday):
"Throw mud at each other... see how many stupid things you can do to each other at one time."
"Never run in the rain with your socks on."

Trasy R:
"Some people exist but never actually LIVE!"
"It is better to remain silent and be thought of as a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."

Rob ProzacPain:
"I think, therefore I'm bored."
"Intelligence = INSANITY"

Christie N:
"The truth shall set you free."
"The only important people are those who love you."
"A friend is a person who knows all about you but likes you anyway."
"What you are becoming is more important than what you are accomplishing."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappionted by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
"An honest person is someone you can play chess with over the phone."
"Carrying a grudge is like a run in a stocking - it can only get worse. Forgiveness is the answer."
"To get more out of life, give more of yourself."
" Only God is in a position to look down on anyone."
" Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory."

Michael S:
"Looks are the door to a relationship, personality locks it."
"How can a shallow person dig so deep?"

Claudio V / Cameron M:
"The statement below is false.
The statement above is true."

Åpothys®:
"If at first you dont succeed, well just give up!"
"Remember that the same rain that waters the lawn rusts the lawnmower."

Beserkers of Khorne
"Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the throne of Khorne!"

MaDMiKe:
"Smoke pot,
poke smot,
joke not,
tokem spot,
toke sm pot,
I'm high a lot,
free Nelson Mandella."
"If the truth can be told, so as to be understood, it will be believed." Terrance Mckenna.
"When all else fails, smoke another bowl."
"Friends are so needed yet so few.... A real friend does not judge you in any way, shape or form."
"I enjoy the fear of insanity."
"Needs are trophies of future success."

Danny K:
"Confucious say: If you wake up with pyjamas on fire, go back to sleep."
"Skin, just try living without it."
"Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks."

Mr. Parker
"The intelligent man is the one that has succesfully fullfilled many accomplishments and yet willing to learn more."

Peter H:
"If computers control us, who controls the computers?"

Brad D:
"I was born that way, what's your excuse?"

Bianca R:
"Socks are bad."
"Sleep, it's free."

Brett D:
"See you round like a squirrel's ringhole."

Justin P:
"Thinking too hard gives you a headache."

Sam W:
"I like to snatch a kiss and vise versa."
"Is heaven just another door?"

Dave C:
"Wise and true so you speak, but the bloody thing is not yet complete."
"A fool who thinks he is a fool for that very reason a wise man indeed. The fool who thinks he is wise is called a fool indeed."

Claudio V:
"The blind man said to his deaf son, 'Lend me your ears.' The deaf son said to the blind man, 'Look over there.'"

Anonymous
"Lawn bowls are cool coz old guys fart when they bend over."