| Yes | No |
| No | Yes |
| Maybe | No |
| I'm sorry. | You'll be sorry. |
| We need... | I want... |
| It's your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now. |
| Do what you want | You'll pay for this later. |
| We need to talk | I need to complain |
| Sure... go ahead | I don't want you to. |
| I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
| You're ... so manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
| You're certainly attentive tonight | Is sex all you ever think about? |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights | I have flabby thighs. |
| This kitchen is so inconvenient | I want a new house. |
| I want new curtains | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... |
| Hang the picture there | NO, I mean hang it there! |
| I heard a noise | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like |
| I'll be ready in a minute. | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
| You have to learn to communicate. | Just agree with me. |
| Are you listening to me? | [Too late, you're dead.] |
| Was that the baby? | Why don't you get your butt out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. |
| I'm not yelling! | Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. |
| Nothing | Everything |
| Everything | My PMS is acting up |
| Nothing, really | It's just that you're such an jerk |
| I'm hungry. | I'm hungry. |
| I'm sleepy. | I'm sleepy. |
| I'm tired. | I'm tired. |
| Do you want to go to a movie? | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| Can I take you out to dinner? | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| Can I call you sometime? | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| May I have this dance? | I'd eventually like to have sex with you. |
| Nice dress! | Nice cleavage! |
| You look tense, let me give you a massage. | I want to fondle you. |
| What's wrong? | I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. |
| What's wrong? | What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? |
| What's wrong? | I guess sex tonight is out of the question. |
| I'm bored. | Do you want to have sex? |
| I love you. | Let's have sex now. |
| I love you, too. | Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! |
| Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. | I liked it better before. |
| Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. | $50 and it doesn't look that much different |
| Let's talk. | I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person. |
| Will you marry me? | I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. |
| I like that one better. (while shopping) | Pick any freakin'dress and let's go home. |
| I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. | I am gay |