| Eternal Damnation | Windows Software Development |
|---|---|
| It never ends. | You think you're almost done, but you never really finish. |
| You burn forever, but are not consumed. | Each update introduces new and improved tortures, wich slowly consume you. |
| Your fate is in the hands of Satan, Prince of Darkness. | Your fate is in the hands of Gates, Prince of Incompatibility. |
| Satan gives you something you want in return of being damned. | Gates makes you buy Windows. |
| It is avoidable; an attractive, widely-marketed alternative is available. | Resistance is futile. All the alternatives are damned or doomed. |
| It is free. | You pay, and pay, and pay just to stay in the game. |
| Satan was once an angel. | Gates started by writing a BASIC interpreter. |
| Hell has no Windows | Microsoft does. |
| You only pass the Gates of Hell one time. | The Gates of Microsoft keeps popping up everywhere you look. |
| Satan sincerely believes in the triumph of Evil. | Gates just does it for the money. |