Welcome to the F.L.M. homepage. For those of you who aren't clear on the concept, F.L.M. is a small (current production staff count: 1) entertainment mogulship devoted to producing MiSTings - funny riffing on a document, ala Mystery Science Theater 3000 - to the weirdos of the Web. Here you can find the small, but ever-growing, number of MiSTings F.L.M. is putting out for the public good. Stay awhile - you may just find yourself enjoying it.
[Note: This page was designed to view on a PC using Netscape 3.0. It doesn't use any browser-specific code, but it may look a little cruddy if you're using another browser/system - I viewed it on a Macintosh, and the line bars were far too long. Anyway, if this page looks bad, I'm sorry.]
Just added a new MiSTing, "Surrogate." Yes, I appear to actually be MiSTing again! Woo! Oh, and I revamped a few appearance-y things about this page. Hopefully it's less mind-destroying now.
In slightly older stuffle... ye Gods, the fine folks at Shinji's Vault of Anime MiSTings nominated me for a few of their annual awards, the Silver Mallies. (Please don't ask me why.) I was nominated for Best Host Segments, Middle-Earth Science Theater 3000 got a nod for Best Non-Standard Team, and the MEST3K MiSTing The Quest Resumes got nominated for both Best Anime MiSTing and Largest Plot Device.
However, in light of recent events at SVAM, Tim McLees (founder of SVAM) has chosen to discontinue the Silver Mallies. I wholeheartedly support this choice on his part, as certain individuals have made the awards a painful and emotionally draining process for the site maintainers and other members of the community who have made SVAM what it is; those people don't deserve the shit they take about something that's been blown entirely out of proportion. It was a great honor to be nominated, and I hope that those who were caught up in the events recover from the pain others have inflicted on them.
In the beginning, I wrote a few MiSTings with nothing more than improperly-obtained bad fiction and a vague idea of what to do. The results are... interesting...
My first MiSTing, ever, was The Barney FAQ. It was done for a niche audience, and I was unaware that there was another, much older version already published. Oh well. It's a bit uneven, but it has its moments.
"Moment of Doubt", a Voyager fanfic, was my first general-audience, full-length MiSTing. I made a few mistakes (including not contacting the author - Ms. Nuttycombe, if you're out there, I'm sorry), but I think it turned out pretty all right all in all.
Chronological Setting: This MiSTing is set in the early 8th season, with Pearl in the Ape Lab.
For those of you who may wonder... I wrote this in late 1997, when I was an ubernewbie to the MiSTing world. I wrote the beginning of the first host segment with the goal of being over the top, but after reading "Artemis's Lover" I realized I wasn't too far off reality. Scary.
Chronological Setting: Another Pearl episode, in the Minibus, after Observer joined the Mads.
My current MiSTings. Tremble in their presence, lest they unleash the fires of Ishtar upon ye!
"The Holodeck Series" - What to say? This is a really bad fanfic saga about a computer game called Creatures (basically a life simulation, with little cute fuzzy stupid critters called Norns). Suffice to say it's take much too seriously. This story was also evidently never touched by a proofreader - there is much talk of things "comming" and "mountian" Norns. Oh, and there's also some Self-Insertion fun that's not hinted on until the end.
"Katira's Tale", parts 1, 2, 3, and 4 - This story got worse and worse the more I read and riffed it. It's a tale by Erato set in the mystical, magical, mythology-bastardizing world of Disney's Hercules. The main character, Katira, is unconscious Self-Insertion, and she proceeds to screw up any continuity whatsoever that Hercules had. (Erato can't even keep internal continuity straight...) There are two musical numbers, and towards the end of part 3 it gets very very abruptly icky. This thing is rated PG for a little smut and a lot of Freudianism, so be warned.
The Pantheon of Pointlessness is a MiSTing of three very short Hercules fanfics ("Camereon the Evil", "Kidnapped", and "Sheepskin", all without author e-mail addresses...), and it's partially a direct result of post-Turkey Day ennui. This isn't my best MiSTing, but hey, they can't all be gems. Still, it's not bad, especially given as the title is correct: in three fanfics, and a total of five pages, nothing really memorable happens. Aaargghh...
This MiSTing got on the Nanoscope!. Go there and comment; I'll be rewriting the MiSTing as soon as the 'Scope closes. Stay tuned.
"Black Angel", parts 1, 2, 3, and 4 - This is a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic about what would happen if, through a very odd backstory, Sonic became possesed by an evil parasite and started killing and eating the citizens of Knothole. No, really! That's what the story's about, I swear! Not to mention it has an author avatar, Kiki Danger, and a lot of very dubious spelling and grammar. (WARNING: This story contains a lot of violence. A LOT. You have been warned.)
The Author's Note on this one is also a wee bit out of date. Bean finally contacted me about this, and she's very happy with it. Woohoo!
Chronological Setting: This MiSTing is set in a Joel/Dr. F/Frank season. (Maybe Season 4... how would "Holodeck" compare with "Manos"?)
If you'd prefer to read "Katira's Tale" offline, you can download a Zip file containing all four text files.
Chronological Setting: This MiSTing is set in Season 9 with Mike, Pearl, and Castle Forrester.
Chronological Setting: This one's set in the 6th (or late 5th) season, with Mike, Dr. F., and Frank.
(Update on this: Chances are, since the 'Scope hasn't received a huge amount of attention and, to be honest, I'd rather spend my MiSTing time working on new projects, "Pantheon" probably won't be updated in the near future. Ah, well. You're still welcome to check out the 'Scope.)
You can also download this MiSTing in a handy Zip file.
Chronological Setting: This is another Mike/Dr. F/Frank MiSTing.
Chronological Setting: Another Mike/Dr. F/Frank.
Check out the other member of the dysfunctional F.L.M. family! Middle-Earth Science Theater 3000 - if you have to ask, you really don't want to know.
Also, this site is proud (well, you could say that) to host The Hallucination Memorial Board, the official message-board home base for SVAM's Out-Group. (We pretty much killed the SVAM threader, if you were wondering...)
Finally, you can gaze upon what a MiSTie does when bored: a version of the classic MST3K song "Who Shall I Kill?", fed through Babelfish and translated from English to French and then back to English again. The result is almost Dr. Thinker-a-riffic in its incoherency.
Got questions? Got comments on the MiSTings? Got flames? Send 'em on through to me!
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