Welcome to the Journal of Now and Forever. This Journal is a collection of my Star Control and Star Control 2 fiction. Note: Some of this material is, by necessity, extrapolation from the slim information provided by canon sources.

New fiction is posted first at My Livejournal before it appears here. This story is in response to 15 Minute Ficlets' Challenge #67.

Had to give myself a hard looking-over today. I'm out of basic now, and yes, everything went fine, and overall I think it was good for me. I'm physically in better shape and, dare I say, more organized now. So it was with fresh resolve that I tackled two different tasks: regaining my old position in Reproductive Research, and finding out more about the Necro-99 that Dina's such friends with.

Haven't heard back yet from Dina, so I don't know how things are there. I've already heard that those in "nonessential" services are being reassigned to new work. Not too surprised. Once I was in military training, it'd be the perfect reason to move me on to something else. I can't believe, though, that the Necro has anything to do with it. It's not like he's in a position to – last I heard, he was over in Whitehills, doing common janitorial and repair work. Oh, I know, he's in Engineering, so of course he must have some kind of position within his group, because otherwise he wouldn't be in the same committee as Dina. Still.

So, I'm temporarily "in between" jobs, you might say. I'm hoping Dina can pull through for me. Why shouldn't she? I was – am – an excellent worker in her group. Otherwise, it looks like I'll be put into something else. As long as it's not hard physical labor, I should be fine.

However, all that is neither here nor there toward the real set of today's discoveries. First, I did some digging into the Necro series, and I think I've got some very interesting leads as to the background of Dina's favorite.

But secondly, and more importantly... I'm not going to do anything with it. It was while I was working on the Necro investigation that at one point the screen went dark as I transferred from one program to the next, and I saw myself reflected there. And it wasn't pretty. It was... I looked like him.

That shock alone made me pause. Of course we look alike; we're clones. But it's possible to have the same physical characteristics, yet have our features differentiated by personality. His is an ugly, vicious personality, and it reflects in his face. And that face was the one I saw reflected in the momentary darkness.

I am not like him. I will not be like him. Yet, continuing on the path I was following is evidently turning me into him. And I can't do that. I cannot let myself devolve like that.

This was a wake-up call, an alarm, that I greatly needed. I cannot allow myself to become like him. So I must make the effort to change, to avoid that fate. It can be done, and it will be done. Looking back on recent events, I am focusing too strongly on Dina's friend and seeing him as a threat to me. He can't be a threat to me, logically, in the cold light of reason. I have been over-reacting.

It may be difficult, but I must put these feelings behind me and return to my "old" self. It is no wonder, perhaps, that I have had problems at work recently. What is obvious to friends and co-workers is not always obvious to oneself, and perhaps they noticed earlier my... personal problems. I must be sure to reassure them that said problems are behind me, and that they will not resurface.

In the meantime, I'll be filing away the information I found on the Necro series. I used valuable time and effort to get it, but it is not the sort of information that should be casually left about, either. I do not need it, so I will place it under multiple protections and make it difficult for even myself to get into. That should help as well.

~Personal journal of CRC-16 "Grif" Reproductive Researcher

Comments? Email me: laridian at aol dot com