Elmer Studios presents...
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Episode 108. Will the voice find a BGC 2040 fic? Will the reviewers kill
him first?
Recollections of a Tekkaman is copyright Brandon Atkinson
Teknoman/Tekkaman Blade is copyright Sotsu-Tatsunoko Productions Inc.
and Saban entertainment.
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[The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation
in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video
recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small
kitchenette. A coffee table sits in front of the two couches, and a desk,
home to a well-equipped PC sits off to one side. There are two Silver
Mallies resting on the bench in front of the kitchenette. A cardboard box
sits by the bench, with the tattered pieces of tinsel sticking out and a
trodden-on plastic Christmas tree lying next to it.]
[Dan, Tsuneo, Rebecca and Rick enter, chatting]
Rebecca: ...and since we finished up Delta Invasion, the four of us haven't done
an EVA fic together.
Dan: No way. we've done some since then.
Rebecca: Yeah, we did a few chapters of Dorkside, but Rick wasn't there.
Tsuneo: You're right there... Hmm...
[They sit - Rebecca and Rick facing the TV, Dan & Tsuneo on the sideways couch.]
Rick: So what have we had?
Dan: A few BGC fics, that Slayers/Tenchi/Thane... er, thing, and a DV8 fic.
Tsuneo: And those were some strange BGC fics to boot.
Rick: So what does this mean? He's avoiding EVA fics?
Rebecca: For us at least. Plus he's been sending us all kinds of just, well,
strange fics.
Rick: So what's going to be next?
Tsuneo: Something outrageously strange and freaky that we don't want to see.
Dan: What, like... a Brain Powerd self insert?
Rebecca: Yeah, where the SI is the offspring of Joanna Dark and Chriton from
Farscape.
Rick: Or the EVA/Slayers fic where the EVA characters get dumped in the Slayers
world.
Tsuneo: No way, they'd never survive.
Rebecca: Are you kidding? Slayers favours idiots, so Shinji's safe; maniacal
red-heads, so Asuka's safe; and Rei finally gets to use her shamanic magic.
Tsuneo: Huh?
Dan: So what about Misato?
Rebecca: She's the comic relief, no-one can hurt her.
Rick: So what about... Say, a Gen-13/Dirty Pair crossover?
Tsuneo: Don't laugh, it'll be a professional work.
Rick: Okay, then... I've got it! The Authority/JLA team-up: Crisis on Lots and
Lots of Infinite Earths!
Dan: Doesn't infinite automatically mean lots and lots?
Rebecca: It's The Authority. There has to be more.
Tsuneo: Well, it doesn't have to be a crossover. We've had more than enough goofy
normal fics.
Dan: Well what about a goofy romance?
Rebecca: Let's see, Lina/Xellos; Lina/Xellos; Lina/Xellos; Lina/Xellos;
Gaurry/Amelia - how'd that happen? - and Lina/Xellos.
Dan: Good point. Nothing worthwhile there.
Tsuneo: Well, for a really out-there fic, you could have one from an unusual
point of view.
Rick: Like what?
Tsuneo: Like an El Hazard fic from the point of view of a bugrom.
Dan: Yeah, that'd go places. "Day one: served the queen. Day two: served the
queen. Day three: served the queen."
Tsuneo: I meant one of the important bugrom, like Groucho.
Dan: Oh, that's much better. "Day one: got beat up by red-haired priestess. Day
two: got beat up by red-haired priestess. Day three:-"
Tsuneo: Oh, forget it.
Rebecca: So how about a fic of a remake-series?
Rick: What like Dirty Pair Flash?
Rebecca: Yeah, the DP Flash fic, featuring an under-aged midget version of Shasti.
Rick: And she runs around killing innumerable innocents in an outrageously cute
and sweet way while flashing around her panties.
Dan: Cool.
Rick: Or some new Macross fic.
Tsuneo: Yeah, the bland and nondescript crew of a brand new ship meet a new kind
of uninteresting alien in random part of the galaxy.
Voice: How about "none of the above?"
Rebecca: Well good morning project 2501. How long have you been there?
Voice: Long enough to be bored senseless.
Tsuneo: The feeling's mutual. So what *is* it?
Voice: Just for something unusual-
Rick: Big surprise.
Voice: I've found you a Tekkaman fic called "Recollections of a Tekkaman."
[The TV switches on]
Rick: Don't you mean a "Teknoman" fic?
Voice: Erm... Well, the authour can't decide.
> Recollections of a Tekkaman By Brandon Atkinson
> Copyrights: -Teknoman / Tekkaman-Blade and related characters are property of
> Sotsu-Tatsunoko Productions Inc. / Saban entertainment.
> NOTE: This story contains a fair amount of bad language - you have been warned!
> This is my first FanFic, so it may not be as good as others you might have read.
Tsuneo: On the other hand, it can't be as bad as some of the ones we've seen.
> Also opinions (good or bad) are greatly welcomed. Email me at
> autobot_city@hotmail.com.
> Recollections of a Tekkaman By Brandon Atkinson
> PROLOGUE
Rick: It is a dark time for the Galaxy. The evil GALACTIC EMPIRE has begun...
Rebecca: Thank you, Rick.
> In Global Year 193,
Rick: Bob to its friends.
> Aliens known as Radam invaded the Earth
Dan: You can't blame them. It's the only good parking in the Western Spiral Arm.
> and turned most of
> the population into "Primary Bodies"(partially transformed humans that lack many
> of the abilities that fully transformed humans gain when they become Tekkamen.
> Humans that were completely transformed into Tekkamen ended up with super
> powerful weapons and nearly impenetrable armor.)
Tsuneo: They also end up with lots of Angst.
Rebecca: And good hair.
> Then, The Radam Warlord named Darkon (who was sent to supervise the invasion)
Rick: He's not a Radam he's a human!
Dan: Remember? They didn't get to see all the series in America.
Rick: I guess that counts as a spoiler then...
> and his evil Tekkamen Warriors (Gunnar, Saber, Ax, Lance, Rapier, and Sword)
Tsuneo: Plus the Radam B-Team, Guaive-Gusarme, Hook Forchard, Pointed Stick and
Mancatcher
Rick: Hey, what about Rift and Zar?
> were defeated by the 'renegade' Tekkaman named Blade with the help of the Space
> Knights - a group of sorts, whose sole purpose is exploration and research.
Tsuneo: So why do they have such a huge arsenal?
Dan: To find new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations... and blow
them up.
> The Radam returned 10 years later, in Global Year 203, this time with a large
> battle fleet, and were again, defeated by a newly formed team of Space Knights
> and their Tekkamen
Dan: Tekkaman Blade 2, with Fan Service Action!
> - They found a SAFE way to transform the Primary Bodies into Full Tekkamen.
Rebecca: In a bizarre process involving a particle accelerator and a powdered non-dairy
creamer. A lot of the unsuccessful tests ended up dead, funny looking or, most often,
dead and funny looking.
> However these weren't the only times that the Radam came to Earth. For they had
> come once before...
Dan: They dropped by about 2000 BC to build a few pyramids and the Easter Island
Stoneheads, as well as sink Atlantis and Lemuria.
> In the year 2000 (later to be referred to as Global Year 0 by historians),
Rick: Any reason?
Tsuneo: They lost count.
Rick: Oh.
> an unknown object fell to the Earth,
Rick: High above tiny Macross Island...
> which was still staggering from the disastrous
> blow received courtesy of the Year 2000 computer glitch,
Rebecca: Oh yeah, we all remember how devastating the Y2K bug was. [They all
snigger]
> from space and almost obliterated the southern polar region.
Tsuneo: So which series is this we're working from?
Dan: Hey voice, I thought you said no more EVA fics?
Voice: It's not! Honest!
> The water level around the world was
> raised drastically, causing massive destruction and other natural disasters.
> Most of the global population perished because of these events.
Tsuneo: The media said it was a giant asteroid but we all know that it was the
First Angel.
Rebecca: Never mind that the world maps seen in the show don't reflect the kind
of changes that such a rise in sea level would have caused. [Pause] And New York
is clearly identifiable, even though it would have been destroyed.
> This disaster became to be known as 'The Cataclysm'.
Rick [Teacher from Evangelion]: I remember The Cataclysm well...
Tsuneo: I don't like you.
> Shortly afterward, most of the people of
> earth moved on and resumed their normal lives,
Dan: Those who hadn't died in the floods.
> trying to forget the destruction
> that was caused. However, some people could not move on because something
> unusual had happened to them.
Dan: They were drowned by the rising sea levels?
Rick: Besides that, he means.
Dan: Oh.
> Something terrible, that changed their lives forever.
> 10 years after The Cataclysm, one person's life was forever changed...
Rebecca: Just to repeat the point, their lives were changed forever.
Tsuneo: And ten years after The Cataclysm at that.
Rick: Yes, it was ten years after The Cataclysm that their lives were forever
changed.
Dan: Okay, we get the picture.
> ______________________________________________________________________________________
> Chapter 1: The Nightmare Begins
Rick: But we call it a fanfic.
> Spring 2010
Tsuneo: Ten years after The Cataclysm.
Rebecca: When everyone's' lives were-
Dan: SHUT UP!
> Somewhere in the expanse of what used to be Northern Ontario,
Tsuneo: So if it isn't Northern Ontario anymore, what is it?
Rebecca: It's been annexed by Manitoba.
Rick: We join our hero as he bravely forges a path across the vast Canadian
wilderness...
Dan [General Carville]: It's Canada! There are more cows up here than people.
> A man sat at a
> folding table beside a tent. In the dimming firelight, he was drawing a map of
> the area.
Tsuneo: Don't you want better light to work with?
Rebecca [Reading]: "Here be Dragons".
> Next to the map was a half empty bottle of Wiser's Oldest(c) Blended
> Canadian Whisky.
> "Ever since The Cataclysm, existing maps haven't been reliable,
Dan: Well, for starters, they still have California marked on them.
> so now I am out here making new ones..." He thought to himself.
Rick: Why not use satellite imaging to create maps? It's what we do these days.
> "Ha! And my teachers said I'd never make it through high school!
Rebecca: [Man] And now look at me, out in the middle of nowhere! Er, wait a second...
> Boy did I prove them wrong! Now look at me,
> after spending the first 5 years of this millennium at college, I'm a freaking
> map maker!"
Dan [Ultros]: G'fahaha! Look at me! I'm a receptionist!
Tsuneo: I think someone's venting.
> He said while beaming with a sense of pride.
> He was Brandon Atkinson,
Rick: And we have self-insertion! [They all cheer]
> Professional Cartographer.
Dan: Brandon Atkinson, Professional Cartographer, international man of mystery.
> He was a man of about 30
> years of age with brown hair and eyes.
Dan: So... he had eyes?
Rebecca: That seems to be the gist of it.
> He had been hired by the local government
> to make a detailed survey of the area. He was being paid a lot of money in the
> new global currency that had been adopted shortly after Y2K (not to mention all
> the unknown computer viruses that were activated by it) screwed the planet over,
> in order to avoid the confusion while the World Banks' computers were down.
Tsuneo: Well there's a weighty and improbable sentence for you.
Rick: And you thought the Australian Dollar had problems now...
> But now, all of the really important computers were fixed (took long enough!).
Rick: Every helpdesk on the planet must have been snowed under.
> Brandon looked over to a small display that was next to the map as he reached
> for the whisky bottle.
Tsuneo: His shares must be doing that well.
Dan [Brandon]: Shouldn't have sank all my money into dot coms.
> It was a portable GPS display. It displayed an
> approximation of his location and at which latitudinal and longitudinal points
> he was at.
Rick: Well, according to this he's in... Kazakstan?
> "Good thing this system is still working... without it I'd be really lost."
Rebecca: That sounds like foreshadowing to me.
> he
> commented as he took a swig of whisky. He put the bottle back of the table.
Tsuneo: No one will be admitted during the intense whisky drinking scene!
Dan: He belched. He scratched himself. He did stuff.
> He
> continued his work for a while, then picked up his map to go and put it away. As
> he did so, he knocked the bottle of whisky over and its contents happened to
> splash all over the GPS display.
Rick: Smooth move there. Seriously smooth.
Tsuneo: Remember kids, never drink and use advanced navigational equipment.
> There was a popping and crackling sounds and
> smoke began to rise out of the back of the display.
Dan: Nicely called, Rebecca.
> The GPS display then suddenly exploded into many fragments.
Rick: Brandon, there are these little things called fuses. You might want to look
into them.
> "SHIT!" He said as he covered his face with his arms, dropping his map on the
> ground..
Rick: And as if his day wasn't bad enough, he spilt some on his lap.
> After the smoke cleared, he surveyed the damage. The table had a blast mark on
> it where the GPS display had been.
Rebecca: That's some mighty powerful stuff you've got there.
> "It was bound to happen, stupid freaking piece of crap!" He said.
Rick: What? You've been pouring whiskey on your GPS unit for a while?
Dan: Yeah, he makes a hobby of it.
> Not only was
> he disappointed about the loss of the GPS, but also about the loss of his only
> bottle of whisky!
Tsuneo: Good to see that he's got his priorities straight.
Dan: Heck yeah, I'd be upset if I was out in the woods and couldn't get a good
drink.
Tsuneo: You amaze me, Dan, you really, really do.
> "Hmmm... I thought only water made electronic things go screwy....guess I
> thought wrong." He said.
Tsuneo: Use your brain.
> He picked up his map and went over to the spot where he had stored his supplies
> and pulled out an old atlas, and brought it back to the table. He opened it up
> to the map of Canada
Rebecca: Not to sound nitpicky, but wouldn't it be more useful to open it up
to the specific part of Canada you're in?
Tsuneo: It's one of those Atlases that has every street in each of the US's
state capitals *and* Washington DC marked, but is rather vague about the rest
of the world.
Rebecca: Figures.
Rick: You should check this one out. It's got the USSR, East Germany *and* South
Vietnam in it.
> and checked his longitudinal and latitudinal coordinates
> with what the GPS had showed him.
Dan [Brandon]: Well, according to this, I'm somewhere between the Taj Mahal and
the Panama Canal.
> According to the old atlas, he was at points W84.6 x N51.1, which was near
> Hudson's Bay (which is a lot bigger now).
Rick: Gee, that narrows it down to, what, half of Canada?
Rebecca: He's somewhere between Moose Factory and Uranium City. Look it up.
> After he checked this, he decided to call it a night and put everything SAFELY
> away in the packs.
Rebecca: First the eggs, then the watermelon.
> He then got the packs ready to be loaded into the canoe the
> next day. Then he put out the fire and went to bed.
Tsuneo [Bored silly]: Wow. I can't stand the intensity of this action.
Dan: And during the night, the canoe floated off. God, he sucks.
> ***
> In the morning Brandon broke camp and set off down the river in his canoe. The
> current was moving fast and he was enjoying it. Every so often he would stop and
> take a break and update his map.
Dan: Given that he's lost his oh-so-important GPS system, wouldn't it be smarter
to go back home and get a new one?
Tsuneo: That's what he's trying. He's got a lousy sense of direction for a
cartographer.
Rick [Brandon]: Let's see, I'll put a few more squiggly bits in over here, and
a lost Inca city over there and...
> Later that afternoon, Brandon reached a part of the river that had split into 2
> different directions.
Rick: To the west lies the unknown, the path to adventure and excitement.
Dan: And to the East?
Rick: A convenience store.
> He decided to take the path on the left.
Dan: GO LEFT.
Rick: There is a raging river ahead of you. In front of you is a stack of wood,
some rope, a gramophone and a frost free fridge. Directions: AHEAD, RIGHT.
> After a while, however, he began to regret that decision
Rebecca [Brandon]: Maybe I shouldn't have taken the path with the big "Danger
Minefield" sign over it.
> due to the fact that the current was picking up very
> quickly and the canoe becoming hard to handle.
Rebecca: Down! Back! Bad canoe! Bad!
> The situation went from
> inconvenient to bad as the canoe went through a series of rapids and jagged
> rocks sticking up in the raging surf.
Dan: Is it just me, or can't Brandon here seem to do anything right?
> Brandon and his canoe were being bumped from rock to rock pretty harshly.
Rick: Tilt.
> Then he hit a rock very hard and the front
> left side of the canoe was ripped to shreds.
Rebecca: Brandon, here's a little tip. Never use a canoe made out of paper. Sure
it's cheap, but in the long term it's not going to do you any good.
> The canoe was now useless as a water craft but not as a
Rick: Pot plant holder.
Dan: Conversation piece.
Rebecca: Ant farm.
Tsuneo: Weapon in a Jackie Chan movie.
Rebecca: You win.
> floatation device. Brandon held onto the side of the
> destroyed canoe while he was tossed though the rough water. After a while of
> 'playing' driftwood,
Rebecca: He came up to a waterfall!
Dan: Opening next week at the independent Theatre: My Life as a Log, starring
Brandon Atkinson as Driftwood, Colt as Lumber and with Rift and Zar as assorted
debris.
Rick: Rift and Zar rocked. They made that fic.
> Brandon emerged from the rapids he was a little beat up but otherwise ok.
Rick [Brandon]: It's just a few broken limbs. Nothing major.
> The current was still moving fast, and Brandon was having trouble
> trying to keep his head above water, even though he was a pretty good swimmer,
> so he didn't really see the waterfall ahead.
[Dead silence]
Tsuneo: Dan, you're right. He can't do anything right.
Rick: Okay, wiseguy, what now?
> One moment he was being carried by the current and the next he was falling.
Dan [Brandon]: Dum de dum, it's a lovely day, hey is that a waterfaaaaaaa...
Tsuneo [Deadpan]: This man's an idiot.
> Brandon plunged into a pool or something at the bottom of the waterfall.
Tsuneo: Well, if it's not a pool, then what is it?
Rebecca: A hole?
Dan: A depression?
Rick: A frost-free fridge?
Tsuneo: Rick, what is it with you and those things? [Rick shrugs]
> He went
> down pretty deep and as he started to float back to the surface, he felt
> something grab his leg.
Rebecca: Well, it's either an overly affectionate octopus or you've landed on
Chuthulu's head.
Dan: Knowing Brandon?
Rebecca: 1D4 per round.
> he looked down to see what it was but couldn't see
> anything because of the murky water.
> He tried to get out of its grasp but could not.
Dan: Gasp with terror as Brandon wrestles with a rubber octopus!
Rick: Shudder in fear as Brandon confronts the wilds of Canada.
Tsuneo: Eat popcorn with indifference as Brandon makes camp.
Rebecca: Recollections of a Teknoman, coming soon to a theatre near you. Rated
D for dull.
> The thing continued to wrap around his leg
Rebecca: Voice, you're not giving us a gay tentacle lemon are you?
Voice: Never!
Tsuneo: Don't even think of going there.
> and he passed out as it pulled him deeper into the abyss.
> End Chapter 1
Rebecca: Well that was easy. [They all get up to leave]
Voice: Not so fast, guys. The Authour was kind enough to pack three chapters into
the one file for you.
Tsuneo: That's just peachy. [They all sit] With any luck, something might happen
this chapter.
> ______________________________________________________________________________________________
> Recollections of a Tekkaman By Brandon Atkinson
> Chapter 2: Transformation
> Time and Place: Unknown
Rick: With rain expected on the coast, followed by clear skies and a sunny afternoon.
> When Brandon regained consciousness, he found that he could breathe,
Dan: It'd be pretty odd if you regained consciousness and found that you *couldn't*
breathe.
> and that he was in some kind of reddish-orange colored liquid
Tsuneo: Well, the party was going well until they found Brandon face-down in the fruit
punch. It all went downhill from there.
> that was faintly glowing.
Rick: Better make that radioactive fruit punch.
Rebecca: OK, who's been buying Ukranian canned fruit again?
> He tried to remember how he got into this situation but his memory kept drawing
> a blank.
Rick: He was at a party. He had drunk a bit too much. He had a traffic cone.
Dan: Yeah, a lot of weird situations start that way.
> Then, some reddish colored strands were wrapping themselves around his
> body.
Rebecca: Look at that. He's beewn abducted by aliens who are gift-wrapping him.
Isn't that nice?
> He tried to struggle but found that he couldn't move, because the
> strand-like things were preventing him from making any movement.
Tsuneo: Well... yes, actually. That's makes a surprising amount of sense.
Dan: In a totally pointless way, of course.
> He was kept
> like that for a long time, so to keep him from going crazy due to endless
> boredom,
Rebecca: It's like being on an international flight where the movie's Waterworld.
> he looked back into the memories of his life.
Tsuneo: Cue the sentimental music, folks.
Rebecca: To save money, we're going to clip stock footage from Isamu Mitsurugi,
Tom Dyron, John Barren and Jimbo Beckket's backstories.
> He saw happy moments like
> the birth of his little brother, the new beagle puppy his dad brought home, his
> graduation from high school,
Tsuneo: This is touching.
Rick: Anyone got anything to eat?
> and sad moments like the deaths of his family in
> the massive earth quake that struck the region where his family lived in 2001,
All: THE BIG ONE!
> their funerals, and the burials of some of his friends who had also died in the
> quake.
Tsuneo: In other words the sort of fiercely generic tragic background we've come to
expect from fics like this.
Rick: Seems that way.
> Brandon barely choked back a sob as he watched these events. Then the pain began.
Dan: No, that happened at the start of the fic.
> Brandon experienced pain unlike which he had never know existed.
Rick [Dr Forrester]: Prepare for deep hurting, boobies!
Rebecca: They beamed all seven seasons of Deep Space Nine into his head. The inhumane
bastards.
> It seemed as if every nerve in his body was on fire.
Dan: That happens to me whenever I eat cheap Mexican food. [Tsuneo edges away from him]
Tsuneo: Thanks for that.
Rebecca: Maybe they just shoved him into an Agonizer Booth.
> The excruciating pain continued for sometime,
[Rebecca loudly sips a soft drink. Everyone else looks at her]
Rebecca: What? What?
> not allowing him to fall into the unconsciousness
> which he sought, but it did almost make him go insane.
All [Singing]: It's almost like being insane...
> Once, he thought he saw a
> spider-like creature (like something out of the Alien movies) move toward him.
Tsuneo: Everyone rips those things off. Isn't there any originality left in
monster design?
> It suddenly stopped advancing toward him, though it did certainly make an
> attempt to continue its path, it seemed as if it had been stopped by an
> invisible wall.
Rick: Oh great. He's being menaced by alien arachnid monster mimes!
> Then it made a startled sound or something and disappeared suddenly.
Tsuneo: Well that achieved a lot.
Rebecca: Poor little critter frightens easily.
> The pain continued through this but Brandon no longer cared as he was
> becoming used to this level of pain.
Dan [Brandon, bored]: Ho hum, unimaginable pain and agony, whatever.
> He began to drift into a forced slumber and
> as he did so, he thought he heard in his mind a woman's voice that said:
> "It will be all right. The worst is over, sleep now. I will not let it hurt you
> anymore."
Rebecca: Awww, did the big bad alien monster hurt you? Let mummy kiss you better.
Dan: [Leans towards Rebecca] Yes please. [She whacks him with a cushion]
> And with that, Brandon completely fell asleep.
> ***
> When Brandon awoke, he found himself lying on the bank of the lagoon near the
> waterfall.
Rick: You know, this is actually a pretty nice spot. And if not for the hideous
alien monster lurking under the waterfall, I'd say that we have the company picnic
here next year.
Dan: On the other hand, we could feed Tango to the Monster.
Tsuneo: That is a bit cruel, you know.
Dan: True. I suppose the poor monster didn't do anything to us.
> He got up and looked around. He saw only the forest and the river and
> the waterfall.
Rick: And... The Winged Vicotry of Samathrace!
Tsuneo: Oh come on, no one would fall for that.
Dan: Where? Where?
Tsuneo: Never mind.
> The waterfall looked to be about 30 feet high.
> "Holy Shit. I survived that?!" He thought.
Rebecca: Yeah, you landed on your head.
> Brandon happened to look down into the water at the edge of the bank just then
> and got a surprise.
Rick: Giant mutant squid attack!
> The reflection in the water was not of a human face, but
> that of an armored person!
Dan: He's about to be jumped by the Knights who say Ni!
Rick & Rebecca: Ni! Ni!
Tsuneo [British]: Run away! Run away!
> Not only did he feel different but he looked different too.
Rick [Brandon]: Since when was I a woman?
Dan: I don't think that was any old pool he fell into...
Tsuneo: No. We are not having a Ranma/Teknoman crossover. Not even if you ask
nicely.
> "What the..." He half-whispered in amazement. He then noticed that his voice
> sounded different.
Rebecca: Puberty must have finally kicked in.
> Brandon knelt down and continued to stare at his reflection for sometime.
Dan [Brandon]: Hey, I'm pretty buff.
> Then
> he noticed that the diamond-shaped thing on his forehead was blinking slowly on
> and off,
Dan: That's just your car alarm. If its blinking like that you know that it's been
set and is still working.
> he then felt a presence near him.
Rebecca [Brandon]: I sense a presence... One that I have not felt since...
Dan: That might be the huge hairy guy breathing over your shoulder, buddy.
> He stood up and looked around, but couldn't see anyone.
Tsuneo: Pay no attention to the man hiding behind the bush.
> He now felt a second presence.
> "This is way too weird, like something out of the Highlander movies." He thought
> to himself.
Rick: It's the Highlander Immortal Sense! VVrrrrooooom!
> He then wished that he was holding a weapon of some kind and suddenly a bladed
> weapon appeared in his right hand.
Tsuneo: ...Well that was easy.
Dan: Say, where were you keeping that uber-powerful Tekka-weapon anyway?
Rick: That's none of your damned business.
> It looked like a scimitar but was made out of
> roughly hewn jade.
Rebecca: Yeah... Oh that's great. A weapon made out of a heavy, fragile stone. Good
choice there.
> Brandon took one look at his new weapon and said: "Cool."
> Then he said in a loud voice:
> "I know you're there. Show yourselves this instant!"
> He sensed movement nearby and saw two armored figures step out from behind the
> waterfall.
Tsuneo: Hey check it out, guys. They've got a nice little place back there.
> One was male, holding a sword in each hand. He was covered in black,
> blue, and white armor. The other armored figure, was definitely female,
Dan: And trust me, Brandon noticed.
Rebecca: Hey, it could be just a cross-dressing Tekkaman.
> was wearing yellow, pink, orange, and red armor.
Rebecca: She looked like an explosion in a boutique.
> She had long red hair. She was
> holding a long elaborate-looking staff, which had a large sparkling jewel on its
> top.
Dan: So how come the guy gets a brief description, whereas the girl gets a few more
lines and a weapon?
Tsuneo: Because he's the buddy who dies in the first reel, and she's the love interest.
Rick: Look out! She's got a pointed stick!
> "Who are you and what do you want?" Brandon asked.
Dan [British]: What are you doing in England?
Rick [French]: Mind your own business!
> Instinctively he held his weapon in front of him in a defensive position.
> "We are not here to fight you." The male figure said.
> "Then why are you here?" Brandon asked, a little confused.
Tsuneo [Man]: We live here.
Dan [Brandon]: Oh.
> "We are here to help you. I am Blaze and this is IceBlade, whom you know by
> another name." The female figure spoke.
Rebecca: He used to job mercilessly in the WWF as "ColdSword".
> "He doesn't look like anyone I'd know." Brandon responded.
> The person known as Blaze nodded to the one called IceBlade. Suddenly IceBlade
> was engulfed in a column of white light.
Dan: There was this bright light, and then aliens took me on board their ship, and
then they made me watch Kevin Costner movies and force-fed me horrible substances...
Tsuneo: That was your last trip on an airliner.
Dan: Oh yeah.
> when the column of light faded, where
> the armored warrior stood, there was now a human in his place. He looked about
> 30, had short hazel-brown hair, and was wearing jeans, boots, and a sweater.
Rebecca: Being a male Tekkaman, he's not subject to the "Loose clothes when
transforming" clause.
> "Now do I look like anyone you'd know?" he asked.
> Brandon strained his memory to find any reference to the person who was standing
> before him.
Dan [Brandon]: Nnnnnggggggggnnnngnggggggg... Nope. I don't get it at all.
> He got a response. It hit him like a ton of bricks!
Rebecca: Metric or imperial?
Rick [Brandon]: And then it hit me like 2200 pounds of rectangular-prism shaped
baked-clay building materials!
> This was his best friend before the dark times, before The Cataclysm.
Dan: Before the dark reign of Grunthor, the high priest of Neidorn the God of
Death in the kingdom of Krondor and...
> "Carter? Is that you?" he asked.
> "Hello, old friend, It's been a while."
> "By the Gods! I haven't seen you since the quake."
Rick: He's spent the last ten years stuck in a network deathmatch party.
Dan: Some people have all the luck.
> "I am sure you must have questions, But first what is your name?" Blaze
> interrupted.
Rick: What is your quest? What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Tsuneo: That does it. No more all night Monty Python binges for you two.
> "Well, my name is..." Brandon started to reply. "I am..." He tried again. "Why
> can't I remember my own name?" He asked even more confused.
Rebecca: Well what does it say on your shirt?
Rick [Brandon]: Let's see... according to this, my name is "Machine Washable Do Not
Tumble Dry Product Of China".
> "All will be explained in due time." Blaze said.
> "Well, what name do you get when you try to remember who you are?" IceBlade
> asked.
Rick [Brandon]: Um... Gladys.
Dan [IceBlade]: Damn, you are screwed up.
Rick [Brandon]: Well at least my name has correct capitalisation.
> "I get the name 'Shard'." He replied.
> "That's the name that you were given by the TeknoPod. You are no longer who you
> used to be." Blaze said.
Rebecca: I guess Brandon had The Operation. [The others cross their legs]
> "Think of it as assuming a new identity." IceBlade said.
Dan: [Brandon] Do I get as choice in this?
Rick: No. Next?
> He shrugged his shoulders and said: "Ok. I am Shard... wait a minute, What's a
> Teknopod? and what the hell have I become?!?"
Rick: Don't ask and annoying.
Dan: Fine. [Pause] What was the question?
> Blaze smiled beneath her helmet, and with that she began to explain about what
> he and they were.
Rebecca [Blaze]: OK, Shard, have you ever watched an episode of Power Rangers?
Rick [Shard]: Uh, yeah.
Rebecca [Blaze]: Well, that's close enough.
> End chapter 2
> ________________________________________________________________________________________________
> Recollections of a Tekkaman By Brandon Atkinson
Tsuneo: Say, um, why is he jumping constantly between the American and Japanese
names and terminology?
Rick: You get used to it after a while in Robotech fics.
> Chapter 3 - Blaze
Dan: Hello armoured nurse!
> The day was growing very late as the air sung with the sound of blades clashing
> as IceBlade and Shard were in the midst of a training battle
Tsuneo: Look, guys, no matter how many rounds of Soul Calibur you play, it's no
substitute for the real thing.
Rick: Hey look, they've got a Dreamcast. [They all snigger, except for Tsuneo]
Tsuneo: ...
> (one of many in which IceBlade almost always won).
Rick: That's because IceBlade used a foreign object.
Dan [IceBlade]: N2 Mine? What N2 mine? I don't see any N2 mine.
> Shard blocked a knockout blow from his
> friend, and broke away to begin his counter-attack. He suddenly disappeared in a
> blur of lines,
Rebecca: Amazing. We get speed lines in fanfiction.
> and suddenly reappeared behind a startled IceBlade. "Wha-!
> Where'd he go?" IceBlade said.
Rick: He's about to leap in from the other side of the screen.
Dan: You know, there used to be a time when Scorpion rocked. Nowadays, all he's
good for is hanging around with Smoke, Ermac and Noob Saibot and getting stoned.
> "RIGHT HERE!" Shard exclaimed. He was about to deliver his own knockout punch
> when someone said "ENOUGH!" The person who said that stepped out of the
> tree-line as IceBlade and Shard changed back into their human forms.
Rick [IceBlade]: Sorry, Mum.
Dan [Shard]: He started it.
> She was the
> Teknoman known as Blaze. Now in her human form, she was strikingly beautiful. At
> least Shard thought so when he first saw her.
Rick: She's a female Tekkaman. She looses all her clothes in transformation. You'd
think that too. [Rebecca whacks him with a cushion.] Well it's true!
> She had long auburn hair, was of slim build and she wore the same survival
> outfit as IceBlade when he was human.
Tsuneo: Don't you guys ever change your clothes? Damn, you people are beginning to
smell.
> "It's time for the evening meal. Get cleaned up, while I'll make us something to
> eat." Blaze stated. She went back to the campsite and began to rummage around in
> the supplies.
Rebecca [Blaze]: Cheese in a spray-can... Fruit-shaped Marshmallow chunks... Tinned
sausages... Toasty toppers... Damn, what is all this crap?
> Later while The trio of warriors were eating their dinner of improvised soup and
> Bannock - a hard, flat type of bread that is cooked in a frying pan
Rick: And occasionally used as an offensive weapon.
> - Shard asked a question.
Dan [Shard]: Are those real? Me and IceBlade have a bet going. [Rebecca hits him
with a cushion.]
> "Blaze, do you know where the Teknopod that transformed me came from?" He asked.
> "I know its not like anything that's native to Earth."
Rebecca: Actually, the Teknopod is closely related to the common English Triffid.
> Blaze had told him what the Teknopods were and what he and IceBlade and herself
> were, but not where they had come from.
Tsuneo: Gee, do we have to tell Shard everything? Okay, when a Mummy and a Daddy
love each other very much...
Dan: So if they knew that thing was there, why'd they leave it to trap other people?
> "Shard, do you remember what you heard about 'The Cataclysm' ?" IceBlade asked.
Rick [Shard]: I remember something about a lot of water...
> "Only that shortly after the Investigative Team arrived, they disappeared. No
> sign of them was ever found." Replied Shard.
Tsuneo: There were a number of very fat, way too smug-looking penguins, however.
> "In order to answer your question Shard, I must tell you about what happened at
> Antarctica 10 years ago which resulted in the Investigative Team's
> disappearance." She said.
> "My name used to be Julia Winchester, and I was the leader of that Investigative
> Team." Blaze started.
Rick: And what do you know, ten years after disappearing she turns up under a rock
in Canada!
> "WHAT?!" Exclaimed Shard. Julia Winchester was the best archeologist in the
> world, about a decade ago.
Dan: She preferred to get around in a tank top and way-too-tight shorts.
Tsuneo: That's archeologist, Dan, not tomb robber.
> The media reported that she and her team had
> disappeared while on an archaeological dig in the Andes Mountains in South
> America,
Rick: The offical story is that they were gored to death by wild llamas.
Dan: So did she vanish in Antarctica, or was it South America?
> very shortly after "The Cataclysm."
Tsuneo: It's not just any old Cataclysm, it's "The Cataclysm".
> "Shard, settle down and let me explain." She said.
Rick: Listen very carefully, for this is the plot.
> "The United Nations called my
> team in to assist in an investigation of whatever was in what was left of
> Antarctica.
> We were joined up with the best scientists and researchers in the
> world. Our group jumped from 10 to about 50 members.
Dan: Experience point leeches, the lot of them
Rebecca: This is what happens when hiring henchmen and attracting followers gets
out of control.
> When we arrived in Antarctica, we got a total surprise. What we were to take a
> look at, was not some huge meteorite that had crashed as some people had
> thought, it was
Tsuneo: The first angel, Adam.
Rick: The muffler off a 58 Edsel.
Dan: Just a weather balloon. Really.
Rebecca: I'd go with the former. It's easier to believe in.
> a damaged alien spaceship.
Rick: -Nearly three quarters of a mile long. The outer hull had taken the brunt of
the impact, leaving most of the valuable high-tech systems inside intact.
> For the first few days we did our
> preliminary work, analyzing the spacecraft's outer hull and conducting assorted
> experiments and such.
Rebecca [Blaze]: After three days we came to an important conclusion. It was a
spaceship.
> Then, we were ordered to begin preparations to enter the damaged vessel."
Tsuneo: This sounds like the set up for innumerable bad science-fiction films.
> She paused briefly then she said:
> "The rest, I can't put into words so I will have to show you."
> "Huh? What do you mean, show me?" Shard asked.
Rick: She's going to show you her home movies, that's what.
> Blaze closed her eyes and then her expression blanked.
Dan [Shard]: Hello? Hello? Anyone there? Hello?
> The ghostly outlined
> shape of a Tekno-crystal formed on her forehead. One also formed on Shard's
> forehead.
Rick: [Shard] So this must be what it's like inside a bong...
> "Brace yourself, I went through the same as what you are about to." warned
> IceBlade
> Suddenly shard's mind was filled with images and sounds -- Blaze had initiated a
> mind-link, Shard realized.
Rebecca [Blaze]: My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts...
> In Short order, they sorted themselves out and Shard began to make sense of
> them...
Rick: Blaze's mind was in PAL format but he only had NTSC.
> ***
> 10 years ago...
Tsuneo: When the lives of a few people were changed- [Dan hits him with a cushion]
> "Command Base, this is Alpha Team. We've reached the site and are preparing to
> enter the vessel." Julia Winchester asked through her helmet radio.
Tsuneo: That didn't sound like a question to me.
Rick: She asked in a very definite sense.
> "Good luck Alpha, and be careful." Came the crackled reply.
> "Thanks." Julia switched off her radio and turned to her team. There were about
> 50 people in the group.
Rebecca: Figuring out the marching order must have been a pain.
> "All right people, get yourselves together. We are going in through one of the
> ruptures in this side of the ship's hull." She announced.
> They carefully made their way into the alien ship.
Rick: Ensign Throwaway, take the lead.
> They slowly traveled through what appeared to be a large passageway that was
> covered in algae-like stuff.
Tsuneo: Care to be any more vague?
Dan: It generic luminous moss. Every generic dungeon has it.
> "This is incredible." Thought Julia.
> Eventually they made their way to a large low-lit room. There were giant
> purplish things hanging from the ceiling like chandeliers.
Rick: This is a remarkably well decorated enigmatic alien object.
> "This is incredible." Said Matthew Dressing - another member of the Research
> Team. He touched one of the low hanging purplish things. "Fascinating." He
> half-whispered.
> "Matt, don't touch anything!" Julia hissed.
Tsuneo: [Matt] You could have told me that five minutes ago.
> "Sorry." Matt said apologetically. He then moved away to look at something else.
Dan [Makes crashing noises]
Rebecca [Julia]: Matt, what did I say?
Dan [Matt]: Sorry!
> Suddenly, the purple things on the ceiling began to glow simultaneously as a
> primitive growl began to emanate from all around the room.
Rick: Okay, who let rip?
Tsuneo: That was just Matt's stomach growling.
> "What's happening?" Julia half-whispered.
Dan [Matt]: Not me!
> Then, the purple things began falling from the ceiling...
Rebecca: Careful with that stuff. Not just does it stink to high heven, it also
is impossible to get off your clothes.
Rick: No need to panic, they've just walked into a room where the paint on the
ceiling's wet, that's all.
> They were creatures of some kind!
Dan: Incredibly mixed up creatures, no less.
> And they started chasing after the Research Team!
Tsuneo: Didn't I see this in about a million bad science fiction films?
> Screams of fear, surprise and terror
Rick: And occasionally indigestion.
Dan [Creature]: Yummy!
> filled the room as the members of the
> ill-fated research team were swallowed up one by one.
Dan: Gotta catch 'em all.
> Frightened people began to run in all directions, looking for any way to get
> out.
Tsuneo: Why not go back through the hole you came in?
Rebecca: You'd be surprised how few people think of that.
> Julia and Matthew ran from the horror that was following them. They didn't
> get very far.
Rebecca: It's the world's fastest shambling eldritch horror.
> They got to the place where the entrance to the passageway used to
> be but it was gone.
Dan [Matt]: Curses! They put up a... door! [They all gasp in mock horror]
> They were trapped! Suddenly they were surrounded. 6 or so of
> the creatures advanced on their location. There was no way out. A tentacle came
> out of nowhere and pulled Matthew into the shadows.
Rebecca: It's that over-amorous octopus again.
Dan: Thanks for that, Rebecca.
Rick [Ultros]: Game over, kiddies! Don't tease the octopus!
> "Julia! HELP ME!" he screamed as he was pulled into the darkness.
> "MATT!" Julia cried out.
> Julia reached for her firearm only to have it knocked out of her hand by one of
> the pods' tentacles.
Rebecca: And here's her without even a handy fire extinguisher.
Rick: Don't you know? Always enter an alien space ship with an assault rifle,
a flamethrower, a shotgun, two pistols, a half dozen grenades, a knife, a motion
detector and low-light goggles?
Tsuneo: Say, um, is it just me or didn't they bring any trained soldiers with
them in the advent that something like this might just possibly happen?
> "Damn!" She thought.
> Just then , she happened to look up and saw one of the larger creatures
> descending from the ceiling, right on top of her!
Dan: Death from above!
Rick: Come on, everyone knows that when you think you've escaped the slavering
monster it drops on you. She should have thought of that.
> There wasn't even enough time for her to let out a scream.
Rebecca: Say, how long does it take to scream?
Tsuneo: Longer than she's got, apparently.
> Then there was nothing but darkness. ***
Tsuneo: So... It's just Blade's origin story with the ship being in Antarctica instead
of in orbit around Jupiter?
Rick: Got that right, buddy.
Tsuneo: Damn.
> The mind-link ended.
Rick [Brandon]: Damned server crashed again.
> Shard shook his head to clear it somewhat.
Rebecca [Makes rattling noises]
> Shard had noticed that it had gotten dark while he was in the link.
Dan [Shard]: Aaagh! I've gone blind! No, wait. That's just my hat falling
over my eyes.
> Blaze re-opened her eyes. The outline of her crystal was no longer on her
> forehead.
> "Now you know what happened." Blaze said
Rick [Shard]: Could you run it all by me again? I kind of dozed off during
the first reel.
> "Yes...they were all captured and transformed.
Dan: When staff recruitment drives go too far.
> I have another question for you...
Rick [Shard]: Why is the room going around and around?
> What became of the other scientists who were adjusted by these
> creatures?" Shard asked.
Tsuneo: The Japanese government locked them up and used them to develop telekinetic
super-weapons.
Dan: They got jobs as checkout clerks at a supermarket.
> "Most of them died - they were the lucky ones. Others survived only to be
Rick: -Subjected to Total Quality Management.
Rebecca: Reorganisations at work?
Rick: You got it. They're making us actually work for a living.
> twisted by the alien creatures into something evil.
Tsuneo: Sideshow clowns!
> Some fought against the darkness and won.
Dan: There's a song title in that, I'm sure of it.
Rebecca: Then it turned out that the Darkness' foot was under the rope, so they
reversed it.
> They somehow managed to escape. I was one of the few who got
> away." Blaze answered.
Tsuneo: That's nice... How exactly did you do that and, more importantly, how
is it that you're not being controlled by the Radam?
> "Unfortunately, now those few are getting fewer and fewer." IceBlade stated.
Rebecca: Sort of like the WCW card, really.
> "Yes, things are not looking very good for us right now..." Blaze began.
> "Why?" Shard asked inquiringly.
Tsuneo: Falling share prices, slump in the dollar, election indecision, the usual.
> "A very powerful Teknoman has been slaughtering the others. He has managed to
> find and kill all of those who will not serve him. The remaining survivors have
> gone into hiding, until I find and destroy this Teknoman." Blaze explained.
Tsuneo: Gee, that's nice of them. They all run and hide while you do all the
work for them. Way to go there, guys.
Rick: On the other hand, it's a good amount of disadvantage points.
Dan: So is there any reason why this and any other evil Teknomen aren't out
destroying the world in the intervening ten or so years?
Rick: It's their rostered day off.
> "Who is this evil Teknoman?" Shard asked.
Dan: For weeks now, we've been asking who is the mysterious Tekkaman who has been
stalking Blaze. Tonight, we're going to find out.
Rebecca: Yes, this is something so shocking we *have* to see it live on pay per
view to believe it.
> "He is..." Blaze is about to answer when suddenly everyone's crystal outline
> appeared on their foreheads glowing intensely.
> "ME!" A voice thundered from the woods.
Rebecca: Well thank you Mysterious Voice, but I think they can finish their own
sentences.
> Everyone stood up and looked around. They couldn't see anything.
Rick: Try squinting and focussing on something else. That's how I see Magic Eye
pictures.
> Then a figure walked out of the tree-line and joined the group.
> The newcomer was covered in pitch-black armor that made him look fierce in the
> fire light.
Rebecca: You can tell he's the bad guy because he's wearing black.
Tsuneo [Looks at Rebecca's outfit]: I won't comment on that.
Rick: Well, it'd look pretty silly if he was a bad guy in paisley.
> He muttered a phrase or something that they couldn't make out,
Rick: Um, hello? Towards the microphone. This guy has the acting talent of Stallone.
> and
> pointed at IceBlade and Shard. Some kind of plant rapidly grew from the ground
> around Shard and IceBlade feet, wrapping around them, preventing them from
> moving.
Dan: How'd he get those to grow so fast?
Rebecca: Trust me, you don't want to know what he uses for fertilizer.
Dan [Hits her with a cushion]: Thanks for that.
> "I cant move!" said Shard struggling with his restraints.
> "Same here." replied IceBlade who was also struggling.
> "Who are you?" Shard asked.
Tsuneo [Tekkaman]: I am... [Dramatic pause] Nasty Person!
Rebecca, Rick & Dan: Nasty Person?!
Tsuneo: It's pretty obscure.
> "I am Tekkaman Shrapnel, and I'll deal with you two once I kill your instructor.
> Muwahahaha!" He declares laughing evilly.
Dan [Shrapnel as Jeff Garyn]: And I want No Witnesses!
Rebecca: This has taken a very Deltaesque turn.
> "I have to get free of this somehow." thought shard. He began to struggle even
> harder against his restraints.
Dan: Gasp with terror as Shard wrestles with a rubber vine!
Rick: Shudder in fear as Shard confronts Blaze's past.
Tsuneo: Eat popcorn with indifference as Blaze delivers exposition.
Rebecca: Recollections of a Teknoman, coming soon to a theatre near you. Not to be
taken internally.
> "So we meet again Blaze or should I say, Julia. Heh heh heh." Shrapnel said
> chuckling quietly.
Rick [Shrapnel]: So, we meet again for the first time.
> "I don't know who you are/were, or what quarrel you have with me." Blaze told
> him. Suddenly Shrapnel's helmet disappeared, revealing his human face.
Dan: And what do you know, it's Anakin Skywalker.
Rick [Luke Skywalker]: Boy, I'm glad I got all my looks from mum's side of the
family.
> "Now do you recognize me?" He asked.
Rebecca [Julia]: Nnnnnnnnnnope. Not at all. Sorry.
> Everyone got a good look at his face. He had fiery red eyes, a cross-shaped scar
> on his right cheek, and slightly short black curly hair.
Tsuneo: Slightly short hair?
> "Matt?!?" gasped Blaze. "Oh my God..."
Dan: [Blaze] Where'd you get the scar from?
Tsuneo: That's nice. [Pause] Who the hell is this guy?
> "WHAT?!?" "No way!" Exclaimed IceBlade and Shard.
> "Yes it is I. I am glad that you remember who I am, even after all this time.
Tsuneo: That's nice. [Pause] Who the hell is he?
Rick: Don't you remember? He was on the ship.
Tsuneo: Oh. [Pause] It would be nice if we knew anything about him.
> But enough of this, I am here to fight!" Matt/Shrapnel stated as his helmet
> reappeared.
Tsuneo: That is so rude. You barge on in here, shout at people and then demand
a fight. Don't you have any manners, young man?
Rick: Didn't I see this in a Jackie Chan movie?
Dan: Yeah, all of them.
> "Then it's a fight you shall have." Blaze responded pulling out her crystal.
> "TEK-POWER!" She yelled.
> Blaze was engulfed in a column of orange light
Dan: Cool! Fan-service transformation sequence!
Tsuneo: Whoever it was who let you watch Tekkaman Blade 2 should be shot.
> and she was once again covered in
> her brightly colored armor, holding her jeweled staff in an attack position.
Rebecca: I suppose it would be too much to ask for the female character not to
have bright pastel armour and an actually threatening looking weapon? I thought
so.
> Blaze activated her jets and charged at her enemy.
> "YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She yelled her battle cry.
> Shrapnel also charged with lance in hand.
Rick: Lance in hand? So he's carrying around Lance Storm?
Dan: Naw, it's one of the Voltron pilots.
> With a loud clang, they clashed.
> Sparks dispersed from where their weapons made contact with one another.
Rick: Grit those teeth! Grrr!
> They
> exchanged blows with one another for a while then they broke away from one
> another.
Rebecca: Charge, clash, break off, take a breather... This is a pretty formulaic
fight. I'm just waiting for the rest hold.
> Shrapnel charged at Blaze and they began to fight intensely, blocking
> each others attacks until finally one of blaze's punches got through and
> connected with Shrapnel's head.
Rick [Shrapnel, effeminate]: Owwwww! That really, really hurts!
> The force of the blow made him stagger back about a half dozen paces.
Dan [Shrapnel]: The circle is complete. I am the master now.
> "I can't forgive you for what you did to all of the others. I will avenge their
> deaths by destroying you!" Blaze shouted, breathing heavily.
Tsuneo: Cue the stock dialogue. This is a real paint-by-numbers affair.
> "HA! I'd like to see you try." He responded. "You know, the others fell easily
> and so will you...
Rick [Shrapnel]: I'm Invincible!
Rebecca: You're a loonie.
> Then I will have the pleasure of crushing the lives of your
> comrads!
Dan [Shrapnel]: And then I shall crush you like a bug! Crush crush crush stomp
stomp stomp squeeze squeeze squeeze!
Rick: He's the bad guy.
> But first, I will let their suffering begin with letting them watch you
> die!"
Tsuneo: You're right. This is very Deltaesque.
Dan: Do you reckon he's got a 45mm Voltekka Silencer?
> "Take this!" Blaze yelled as she brought the jeweled end of her staff to bear on
> her adversary.
> The jewels on the end of her staff began to glow and the air around Blaze began
> to heat up at an incredible rate because of the gathering of energy.
Rebecca: Nice move, Blaze, but why didn't you just blast him while he was gloating?
> Shrapnel, upon seeing this initiated an energy blast of his own.
Dan [Shrapnel]: Super Vegita Big Bang Attack!
> "I think not!" He said while aiming his weapon, the blades of his lance glowing
> bright red with rapidly accumulated energy, toward Blaze.
Rebecca: This whole scene is majorly Freudian, don't you think?
> "VOLTEKKA!!!" He yelled.
> Red waves of energy shot toward Blaze, just as she finished gathering the energy
> for her attack.
> "TEKNOBLAST!!!" Blaze yelled, unleashing the torrent of energy that now
> encircled the end of her staff.
Tsuneo: See? Can't even decide on the names for the attacks between the American and
Japanese versions.
> Blaze's energy blast shot toward Shrapnel's energy wave. When the two energy
> blasts met, the resultant explosion was so bright that everyone was momentarily
> blinded. Blaze hoped that hers' was enough to cancel out Shrapnel's. It was not.
Rick: No no, don't you know you can't stop a level three Z-ism with a X-ism?
> Shrapnel's Voltekka bulldozed through her Teknoblast and engulfed her. Blaze
> screamed as it began ripping through her armor...
Rebecca [Chirpy]: And you know that's just gotta hurt.
> END CHAPTER 3
> Author's Comments:
> Poor Blaze, it seems that she's not having a very good day...
Rick: She isn't? You mean that being blown up doesn't happen to her every day?
> What will become of Shard IceBlade, and does Blaze survive Shrapnel's assault?
Dan: Well, unless she's got some plot contrivance on her side, she's crispy critter.
> Find out in the next installment of this exciting series!
Tsuneo [Bored]: Wow. I can hardly wait.
> Well, until then... JA NE!
> -------------------------- Tell me your thoughts about this chapter of my story
> by emailing me at
> autobot_city@hotmail.com
[The TV switches off]
Rebecca: So how much more of this is there?
Voice: Just another two chapters.
Dan: It'll be a cinch. Bring 'em on!
Voice: Well-
Rebecca: No! [she hits Dan with a cushion] Don't encourage him.
Dan: C'mon, it's not that tough.
Rick: It's all just repetition, really.
Dan: Mostly about The Cataclysm.
Rick: And how it changed the lives of many people.
Tsuneo: You two will be eating those words.
Rebecca: Come on, let's go before he does something really dire, like give us all
a BGC 2040 fic.
[Pause]
All: Naaah.
[They leave. the screen goes blank.]
Voice: Come on, I know they're out there.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riffed by: Rick R. Mortis (rickr@elmerstudios.com) & Jinas
(jinas@elmerstudios.com)
Dan and Tsuneo Tateo are copyright 1999-2000 Max Fauth (Jinas)
Rebecca Bartley and Rick R. Mortis are copyright 1999-2000 Alex Fauth (Rick R.
Mortis).
Elmer Studios!:
http://www.elmerstudios.com
All of Elmer Studios' MSTings, artwork, character profiles, and
the Satellite of Rednecks in one spot.
Rick's Mecha Madness Page:
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm
Fighters Anthology .lib and mission files, utterly disturbing Nova
Satori shrine, the AntiKevs and Fanfic Carp, all in one big steaming
pile.
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> "I am Tekkaman Shrapnel, and I'll deal with you two once I kill your instructor.
> Muwahahaha!" He declares laughing evilly.
(
geocities.com/timessquare/realm) (
geocities.com/timessquare)