| Ness's Weapons: | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Weapon | Price | Offense Up | Error Rate | Comments |
| Cracked Bat | 18 | 4 | 1/16 | Ness's first weapon. |
| Tee Ball Bat | 48 | 8 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Sand Lot Bat | 98 | 15 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Minor League Bat | 399 | 26 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Mr. Baseball Bat | 498 | 38 | 1/16 | (None) |
| T-Rex's Bat | 698 | 48 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Big League Bat | 3080 | 54 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Hall of Fame Bat | *1880 | 62 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Ultimate Bat | 2298 | 68 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Magicant Bat | 0 | 80 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Legendary Bat | 0 | 110 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Gutsy Bat | *2980 | 100 | 1/16 | Increases Guts by 127. |
| Casey Bat | *38 | 125 | 3/4 | Lots of power, but you'll whiff most of the time. |
| Paula's Weapons: | ||||
| Weapons | Price | Offense Up | Error Rate | Comments |
| Fry Pan | 56 | 10 | 1/16 | Paula's first weapon. |
| Thick Fry Pan | 198 | 20 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Deluxe Fry Pan | 598 | 30 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Chef's Fry Pan | 1198 | 40 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Non-stick Fry Pan | 1490 | 50 | 1/16 | (None) |
| French Fry Pan | 1790 | 60 | 1/16 | (None) |
| Magic Fry Pan | *4790 | 50 | 1/4 | Increases Guts by 100, but you'll miss more often, too. |
| Holy Fry Pan | 3480 | 80 | 1/16 | Increases Guts by 10. |
| Poo's Weapons: | ||||
| Weapons | Price | Offense Up | Error Rate | Comments |
| Sword of Kings | 0 | 30 | 0 | Poo's ultimate weapon. |
| Jeff's Weapons: | ||||
| Weapons | Price | Offense Up | Error Rate | Comments |
| Pop Gun | *110 | 16 | 0 | Jeff's first weapon. |
| Stun Gun | *150 | 24 | 0 | (None) |
| Toy Air Gun | 210 | 32 | 0 | (None) |
| Magnum Air Gun | 0 | 36 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Toy Air Gun to obtain this weapon. |
| Zip Gun | 425 | 40 | 0 | (None) |
| Laser Gun | 0 | 48 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Laser to obtain this weapon. |
| Hyper Beam | 850 | 58 | 0 | (None) |
| Double Beam | *1000 | 66 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Gadget to obtain this weapon. |
| Crusher Beam | 1150 | 72 | 0 | (None) |
| Spectrum Beam | *1650 | 78 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Cannon to obtain this weapon. |
| Death Ray | *2300 | 90 | 0 | (None) |
| Baddest Beam | 0 | 98 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Harmonica to obtain this weapon. |
| Moon Beam Gun | *4450 | 110 | 0 | (None) |
| Gaia Beam | 0 | 125 | 0 | Jeff must repair the Broken Antenna to obtain this weapon. |
| Everyone's Weapons: | ||||
| Weapons | Price | Offense Up | Error Rate | Comments |
| Yo-yo | 29 | 6 | 3/16 | Poo's Offense decreases when he equips this. |
| Slingshot | 89 | 12 | 3/16 | Poo's Offense decreases when he equips this. |
| Bionic Slingshot | 449 | 32 | 3/16 | Poo's Offense decreases when he equips this. |
| Trick Yo-yo | 998 | 46 | 3/16 | Poo's Offense decreases when he equips this. |
| Combat Yo-yo | 1148 | 54 | 3/16 | Poo's Offense decreases when he equips this. |
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