Title            : What about Krilin?
Story by      : 

Rated          : PG-13


This is my first Krilin-#18 fanfic. Is divided in short chapters. It's about how Krilin marries #18. I'm not good at comedy, I'll try my best (but if you can laugh at anything it'll be funny). 

These are some descriptions:
Things it has: sexual description (not much), big adult language, romantic things too hard to understand to a 10-12 child (I think), kisses (yuck), and more and more love (yuck again).
Now the chapters:

[ Chapter One ] [ Chapter Two ] [ Chapter Three ] [ Chapter Four ] [ Chapter Five ]

Chapter 1

#18 flew off the Celestial Tower. Indifferent for Krilin’s feelings. He stood stand and almost frozen. Did she just said ‘see you later’ for fun or what? He left the tower too; he went to Kame House. He wanted to think; also he wanted to fight someone, someone weaker than him. In the way he founds Vegeta that was going to Capsule Corp., Krilin, like wanted to get killed told Vegeta to stop. Vegeta didn’t. So Krilin throw him a kame hame ha...

  Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere, #18 found his brother. She told him who killed Cell. And how Krilin wished such a thing.

“Maybe fall in loooove” #17 said laughing at his sister. She got angry an almost hit him, but was red enough to say that maybe was true.

“I... I... don’t love him!” She yelled at her brother. Then like a ‘sorry’ she said “Maybe he’s cute... but not to fall in love.” He couldn’t stop a full-mouthed laugh, making his sister angry again. Then, they stop as they feel Krilin and Vegeta’s ‘kis’. #18 looked at her left and said “What is he... what are they doing?”

“I don’t know, seems like your boyfriend is very nuts! You want to go to see if... he’s OK?” Asked #17.

“No... he’ll be all right. Now...” She felt that Krilin was hurt badly. “Let’s GO!” she yelled and went flying as fast as she could.

 

At the fight, Krilin was almost death. Vegeta didn’t realize that he was attacking Krilin, until he heard his voice. Vegeta went very surprised at Krilin. “What are you trying to do? To get yourself killed? What the...” He was kicked by #18, who was trying to ‘hide’ from Krilin. But it didn’t work. He saw her, she saw him; they both were starring at each other. Her brother told her to hurry; he grabbed Krilin and said, “You know... that my sister likes you? She thinks you’re... ‘cute’” Krilin looked how #18 started yelling at her brother. He laughed and said “What a lie” and then he pass out. They went to Celestial Temple and then returned to the woods.

Krilin woke up, for his surprise, all his friends were there, including Vegeta. He went first to talk with him, “I’m sorry... you just... humped out of nowhere and fired me a kame hame ha... so I...” Krilin interrupted him:

“No, I’m sorry” Vegeta didn’t know what to say. “I was very out of me, but, tell me the truth... my... attack...? It DID hurt you, right?” Vegeta said ‘yes’, and then he went back to the other side of the room.

“Were am I, anyway?” He asked. Bulma just said. “#18... She dropped you here, with her brother... and she... said... ‘Get well’. That’s what she said. But I think her brother forced her to say that” She looked at Krilin to find out that he wasn’t there.

 

Chapter 2

 

Krilin’s runaways are not common, though Bulma. She was worried about his friend; she loved him like the brother she never had. Krilin DID love #18. She only said “Krilin, what a strange person. He loves her very much, he can’t accept a ‘no’ from anybody. I just hope that she won’t kill his heart”

“Enough! Stop talking about him! Krilin, what a nerd!” Yelled Vegeta. But then he started talking about him too “Well, what do we know? Let’s see... he’s in love, he went after her, but she doesn’t love him; and the stupid knows that!” Bulma knew that Vegeta was worried for Krilin.

 

“I don’t want to fight!” Yelled Krilin at #18, then he landed in forest. He sat down on the floor and began to think. She suddenly appeared, not knowing why. Why am I doing this anyway? I could let him here and laugh a lot! But... I can’t. I think I love him. LOVE! Come on #18! You’re not like that!

She finally spoke “I think... we... can... be... just... friends! Don’t you think so?” He didn’t answered, because he knew that if he begun to talk, he would let out a sad cry. He didn’t look at her either. But he didn’t need to speak to cry; he started crying without a sound or movement. She sat down beside him, and then she realized that... she love him. “Or maybe not. We can be... more than... just friends.” He saw her beautiful face, but he didn’t want to screw it up.

“W... what... do you... mean... ‘more than just friends’?” He didn’t mean to say it. “Sorry, I don’t...” Before he could finish his sentence, she kissed him.

“HEY FOLKS! ARE YOU FINISH NOW?” #17 yelled at them from the sky. They both looked up and... Well... they saw #17... with Gohan! LOOKING the KISS! What a way to start for our couple.

“You think we should go somewhere else?” Asked Krilin. A pretty stupid question. The answer was YES! So they flew off at top speed. But they were followed by the little Gohan, as stupid as his father he only wanted to know what the hell was going on? Why Krilin have to be kissing after what she said to him? Was he nuts or what? “Hey! You two, what the hell is going on?” But no answer, they kept flying at top speed. Later, Krilin gave him a “Go do your homework, Gohan!”

What the hell is going on with this guy? And she’s pretty nuts too! She said him ‘old man’! And now they’re kissing? This is a really really strange day.

 

They were flying to somewhere, “Why did you kissed me?” He asked her, he was almost dying to know why. He was happy, but disturb about this. “I mean, you DID call me an ‘old man’, why did you kissed the old man anyway?”

“Because... you’re cute. Besides, you were sad, I though that the kiss will cheer you up” She smiled. “You’re very worried about that, aren’t you?” Smiled again. Krilin’s face turned red, very red. She let go a laugh. He didn’t know what to do, so he laughed too.

“I love you #18” She turned her head to see if his face was red, but it didn’t. Actually he was smiling at her; she was the one with the red face now. “I’m going to Kame’s, if you don’t want to come it’s fine. Maybe that creepy Roshi is going to disturb you. And I have to say that he IS pervert when a beautiful woman... is in his house” He suddenly stopped in the middle of the air “Well, bye!” He went very red. And then he hear her voice calling him “Bye, come back here TOMORROW!” He then asked “It’s this a date?!” She screamed “YES!”

YES! YES! YES! YES? What on Dende... I have a DATE? With #18! He went to Kame’s alone but smiling, he was happy.

 

Bulma was talking to his one-year son, who didn't understand anything. Then the phone started ringing. She answered. It was Krilin! “Krilin what the hell... where are you?”

“I’m at Kame’s”

“So, what happened? Did you found her?”

“You didn’t spoke with Gohan? He and #17 found #18 and me... kissing”

“WHAT! YOU’D DONE IT! GOD, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU KRILIN!”

“Stop screaming Bulma. I didn’t offer her to marry me. You’re acting like you were nuts!”

“Sorry but I... Hello? Hello?” He hung down the phone.

 

“#18 you’re in love! Ha ha! Who would think such a thing?” Said #17, while he was trying to do some fishes. “So why did you kissed him?”

“Because I love him!” She turned red again. Then she went to sleep in the tiny house that her brother had.

 

Chapter 3

 

“So?” Said Krilin. “What are we going to do now?” He looked at #18; he was trembling like a leaf. #18 just smiled and then she laughed nervously. They were both in the middle of the air. “Oh... wait... I know... f-f-f-f-follow me” He begun flying somewhere, and #18 just followed him.

They went to a restaurant; they ate and talk about fights. It’s hard to find a woman that likes to fight, thought Krilin. “And the kie-zan (destructo disk)...” He begun talking, teaching her his techniques. Then they went to the movies, and saw a horror movie. In there they laughed a lot, because of the stupid monster suits of the ‘horror’ movie. They were kicked out of the movies. And then he took her to a bar. They drank till Krilin was drunk. So she had to carry him to Kame’s. Strangely, the old man wasn’t there. #18 putted him in his bed. He was all red, and was just smiling and calling her name (well you know: #18). She didn’t like his look. Then he said: “Do you know that I love you?” And he fainted. #18 smiled and kissed him. About an hour later she went to her brother’s.

 

“Ha ha!” Laughed #17. “He, drunk?” He couldn’t help it. That was VERY funny for him. “And he wanted you to sleep with him?” Still laughing. “And you didn’t? Why?”

“I won’t sleep with him!” She yelled. “I don’t want to get pregnant or anything!” Then he stopped laughing. She had a point. He finally spoke without laughing: “But sister. If you love him, you can’t just ‘love him’, and that means that sooner or later you’ll have to give up to him. And anyways, I would laugh more seeing you as a mother” He started laughing again.

“But... I can’t go and just ‘give up’. That’s stupid” She didn’t know what to do. She really loved Krilin, but she wouldn’t give herself up to him like that.

 

Three days later, Krilin was in his new job. He was working in a construction, so had to wear a plastic cap, a jean and a black T-shirt. He looked handsome. He even stopped shaving, so he had tiny little hairs growing out of his head, all at the same time. He didn’t saw #18 in the last three days, he couldn’t feel her ‘ki’ (since she’s an android), and he was worried. How could I been drunk like that! I’m jerk! I lost the opportunity of my life! I really screwed it up!, he though. Then he forgot and continued working, blowing a building into ashes. “Good job Krilin” Yelled his boss, who has been told of Krilin’s powers by Master Roshi. Krilin just stared at him; he hated his boss for none reason. Then Krilin did a fake smile.

“Can I go home now?” Asked Krilin. He wasn’t tired; he was sad, and thinking of #18. His boss also has been told of Krilin’s ‘love’ problems with some ‘girl’. “No Krilin. Just three more buildings, please?” Said the Boss. Krilin nodded and went to look to the map, to find the three buildings he had to blast. He was unhappy, but the Boss had to obey Master Roshi. ‘He’s alone, and I don’t want him in home watching TV, getting drunk and all that’, the Boss remembered Roshi’s words. “Later boss” Said Krilin, as he headed to the buildings in another city.

Five minutes later, Krilin was back. He’s pretty quick; anyways it looks like he won. I’ll let him go. “Hey Krilin, you’re out!” Said the Boss. As fast as Krilin landed, the Boss hugged him. Krilin did nothing; he was to depressed to avoid the fat and huge man. He felt like a girl’s doll, being pulled up, down, side to side, smashed, and even shirked by his boss. “So?” He finally leaves him breath, “Where you’re going kid?” And do you think I’m going to tell you?, though Krilin. “Nowhere” He answered coldly. His boss just stood there, trying to understand why the hell was he acting like that? Finally Krilin flew off and went to Dende’s Palace.

 

Meanwhile, #18 was flying to Kame’s House to see Krilin. When she arrived she went inside. But she found all his friends (Gohan, Bulma, Vegeta, Yamcha, Chichi, Puar, Oolong, Chibi Trunks, Roshi, who was on the phone, and even Piccolo, who was only for that ‘special party’). All turned their heads to see #18 who was actually staring at all those people. “I’LL KILL YOU, #18” As always, it was Vegeta, “HOW DARE YOU TO DEFEAT PRINCE VEGETA?” He yelled at the android. She only stared at him, and then she started searching Krilin in the room without moving.

“WHAT???? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN ‘YOU LET HIM GO’????? ARE YOU NUTS???????? WHAT???? KRILIN IS ANGRY?????????? BUT HOW??????????? LOOK YOU STUPID ASSHOLE........ HEY!! HEY!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ASSHOLE, HE LET KRILIN G......” He walked to the living room, for his surprise, #18 was there. “What happened?” She asked him. “He’s pissed off. He almost killed an entire city” Roshi answered. “I’ll go see if I can calm him down” She said and flew off. “But why #18?” He said to the sky, as everyone looked at him, “Do you really care about Krilin?” She wasn’t there but he asked anyways.

 

Chapter 4

 

Why did I go there anyway? She though. She was flying at top speed feeling Krilin’s ‘ki’. Why is he so angry?

 

“I’M A JERK!” Krilin screamed in Dende’s Palace. He was seated under a palm tree. “WHY DID I HAVE TO GET DRUNK?” He took a deep breath “NOW SHE THINKS I’M A DRUNKMAN” Dende was only watching his friend, trying to ignore the pain in his ears. He knew that Krilin only needed to be listened by someone. “Now what I’m going to do?” He said calmly, for Dende’s surprise. “Do you want to know where she is?” Asked Dende. “Can you do me that favor?” “Sure” Said the green kid. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. “Oh my...” He said. “She’s searching you” Krilin got up and asked stupidity as Goku “What do I do?” “Why are you asking me! I’m just a kid!” “Okay. I’ll go there and-and-and-and f-f-f-face her” Said Krilin, then he flew off. As Dende stood wondering why Krilin was weirdest than the other warriors. “Mr. Popo what do you think?” He laughed. The black alien just said, “I think he loves her” And with that they returned to their routines.

 

I can feel his ‘ki’ getting closer though #18. She smiled as she felt that he was calmed down. She stopped and saw him in the horizon. He flew shyly to her. “Hi” He said.

“Hi?”

“Yeah, hi!” He said trying to understand her, “Is anything wrong?” He sighed, “I think I should apologize”

“Why?” She asked amazed. “Because you were drunk?”

“Yes” He sighed again, “I didn’t mean to say anything”

“What? Krilin what do think you said?” She couldn’t contain laughing at him.

“I don’t know, but Roshi told me that when I get drunk I act very rude” He then smiled, “W-w-what did I said?”

“You said ‘Do you know that I love you?’ That doesn’t sound rude. It sound sweet” She laughed even more, “It’s that why you where mad?”

“Yeah” He said sighing and smiling at her like if he was drunk again. Then he returned to normal and cleared his throat, “I mean yes” He said more normally.

“Well, you’ll know if you are rude to me” She said laughing.

“Yeah, how?” He said laughing too.

“If you’re dead” She laughed even more.

“I just hope I wont get drunk” Krilin joked. And they laughed even more and more. Then Krilin kissed her. “I guess you’re going to kill me for that too” He said as he smiled at her.

“I don’t think so”

And they kissed a ‘real love kiss’. That day he took her to all the places he could, brought all things she liked (and he could afford), and finally he took her to her brother’s. They kissed again and said goodbye to each other.

 

Chapter 5

 

Now, five years later, Krilin was still dating with #18. They didn’t married, because they though, if they married their bond could break. So, they lived in Kame’s.

“Krilin!” #18 yelled from the kitchen. “Come on! Teach me please”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming” He was lying in the sofa, wearing only his boxers and a white T-shirt. They were alone that day. “Ok, let’s see” He was now in the kitchen, “You got the onions?”

“Yes” She said happily.

“Tomatoes?”

“Yes”

“And garlic?”

“Yes, now what?” She asked.

“Now, you cut those things into tiny pieces” Krilin explained his ‘girlfriend’. He showed her how to cut.

“Krilin I’m not stupid”

“But I’m showing you that this is the safer way to cut... OUTCH! SHIT” He yelled.

“You see, Mr. ‘Showing a safer way to cut’?” She laughed. “Let me look at that”

“No! Don’t worry, I can do it alone” He was acting like a child.

“I wont bite you Krilin” She took his hand, he only had a tiny cut, “You’ll survive, Krilin” And she laughed more.

“Very funny” Krilin went to the bathroom to get some aids. He didn’t realize that she was following him. He closed the door behind him. He begun changing his clothes. Now he was naked. He was about to put his clean boxers, but suddenly the door was opened, and there she was! “Oh my... S-s-s-sorry, Kril” She said. And she turned around. As red as a tomato. “W-w-w-w-what are you doing here?” He said surprised. “I-I-I-I came here to tell you that I need your help” She said, “I really am sorry” He smiled and tried to make her redder, “For what?” But he was red too, “Don’t be like that Kril” She said, and turned around to see if Krilin was naked or not. He wasn’t. “Don’t call me Kril. I hate it” “Oh ok, KRIL” Then she yelled, “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!” Oh my! She’s nuts! He though. I’ll chase her anyways. So they ran in the house, till she let him catch her in the bed. They weren’t thinking in anything else, but them. So they kissed, touched, and did it. He was nervous, but he managed to do it well. He was very careful not to get very aggressive, he begun slowly and then faster. When they finished, both were tired, and so, they felt asleep.

Roshi entered his house and turned of the oven, not knowing what happened. There was smoke all over the kitchen. He started looking for someone in all the rooms. His room, nothing. Guestroom, nothing. Krilin’s room, nothing. #18’s room, Krilin and her sleeping, naked? “WHAT THE HELL?” Roshi yelled. Suddenly they both jumped out of the bed, still naked. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU COULD CAUSE A FIRE!” Roshi was very angry, “YOU FORGOT YOUR STUPID FOOD KRILIN. NOW GET DRESSED I WANT TO TALK TO YOU TWO!” They obeyed. And soon they knew what he was talking about, their ‘race’ and love making had done a mess to Kame House. Roshi gave them both ‘things’ to clean up the mess. “I’m not telling you not to make love or something, but LOOK” He pointed to the mess, “What you were thinking? This looks like a battleground, not like MY house. You forgot the food in the oven, you could have started a fire!” He sighed, as the two lovers looked at him. “I’m going to Chichi’s, and if this is not clean when I get back... YOU AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET A NEW VICTIM!” He went to the door and despaired.

“He was really mad,” She said. “I never saw somebody yell me like that” She turned to Krilin. To her surprise, he was looking kinda goofy. He was just laughing in silence. Till he broke up his silence laughing so loud that #18 though that he was crazy.

“I NEVER SAW HIM SO MAD!” He screamed. Then he stopped. He started cleaning the floor and the entire house. Three hours later, Roshi entered in his house. It was shining, all clean. They’ll learn! He though. He showed a smirk. “So?” Asked Krilin and #18 in unison. “Go” He said.

“W-w-w-what?” Krilin asked, “What do you mean Roshi?”

“I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE KRILIN!” Roshi went to his room.

“What are we going to do?” Asked #18 worried.

“WHERE are we going to go?” Asked Krilin. But without looking at anything. “Well, better start packing all our stuff”

“I’ll call Bulma” Said #18. She picked up the phone. “Hi, may I speak to Bulma please? Ok! I’ll wait... Krilin do you believe this jerk? He asked me to wait!” She saw Krilin smile. “Oh... hi Bulma”

(Bulma’s voice) “Hi. Who are you?”

“It’s me, #18”

“Oh. Hi #18. What do you want?”

“I want to know if we can spend one night in your house”

“You and...?”

“Krilin and I”

“WHAT?”

“What is it?” Asked Krilin when he saw #18 jump.

“She didn’t know that we’re...” Said #18.

“Oh” Said Krilin. Then he continued packing.

“Yes Krilin and I”

“Ok. Just tell me why?”

“Because... I’ll tell you when we get there, ok?”

“Ok, ok. Well bye #18!”

“Bye” She hung down. Then sighed and helped Krilin.

“So?” He asked.

“She said yes” They stared at each other. Then he continued packing.

An hour later they were at Bulma’s telling her the whole story. “Oh my God” She laughed. “What’s so funny?” Krilin asked. “Sorry Krilin, ah... but you two are just crazy. You could be more careful next time” Krilin and #18 jumped at the same time, “NEXT TIME?” Their faces turned red. They’re so weird! Though Bulma. But she started laughing again. “Anyways, you can live here. Tomorrow you could buy those stupid magazines to Roshi”