HUMOURESS FOREIGN MISTRANSLATIONS


  • "The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
    -In a Yugoslavian Hotel
  • "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
    -In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastary
  • "Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."
    -In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers
  • "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
    -On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant
  • "Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion."
    -On the Menu of a Polish Hotel
  • "For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service."
    -In a Hong Kong supermarket
  • "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
    -From the Soviet Weekly
  • "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
    -In an East African newspaper
  • "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"
    -Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand
  • "Stop: Drive Sideways."
    -Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan
  • "Special today---no ice cream."
    -In a Swiss mountain inn
  • "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
    -In a Tokyo bar
  • "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
    -In a Copenhagen airline ticket office
  • "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor."
    -From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo
  • "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice."
    -In a Tokyo Hotel
  • "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
    -In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby
  • "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."
    -In a Leipzig Elevator
  • "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
    -In a Belgrade Hotel Elevator
  • "Please leave your values at the front desk."
    -In a Paris Hotel Elevator
  • "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."
    -In a Hotel in Athens
  • "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
    -In a Japanese Hotel
  • "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
    -Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop
  • "Drop your trousers here for best results."
    -In a Bangkok dry cleaner's
  • "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
    -In a Rhodes tailor shop
  • "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
    -In a Zurich hotel
  • "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
    -In a Rome laundry

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