Shin Seiki Evangelion - Kimatsushiken
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Final Exam
the end of higher learning
strike fiss
Lesson 46: [Far into my career as a High School student, I learned that
while several things had changed from earlier days, the teachers always
were up early. No matter how much a student complained, and no matter
how pathetic they looked from lack of sleep, lack of consciousness, and
lack of coherent thought...teachers had no sympathy, for they woke up 3
hours earlier. Hence: Don't be late for school. No matter how warm
your bed is.]
***
He never dreamt anymore.
Of course, that was a lie, but he liked to tell himself that.
Dreams were not for a foolish old man. Dreams had lifted him up to this
level of participation and trouble already. If anything, they were a
temptation he desired little, in fear of everything becoming worse.
He remembered clearly the moment he became a person forever banished from
dreams. From humanity. The moment he found himself leaning over a
hunched form of the Commander, watching the monitor as the Beast charged
at it's first victim.
"We've won." He said coldly.
He knew the Commander would agree. A pleased, affirming grunt came from
the man as he watched behind his invincible, untouchable shield of glass.
He remembered going home that night...after the battle with the Third
Angel. The streets seemed so different. While his home was far away
from the destruction, there was this uneasy calm in the air. The
world...the city...was waiting to see what would happen next.
That night was the last time he dreamt. It was the last time he allowed
himself to dream. Dreams were not for a foolish old man who had
committed himself to this cause like a robot.
Robots didn't dream.
Though...
Secretly, he wondered if the Evas did.
Did they dream as lonely souls? Of their amazing emptiness? Or did they
dream of the times their pilots eased inside their bodies and minds, like
some fond memory of lovemaking? Did they dream of destruction and chaos?
The pain and fear and anger? Did they dream of bathing the streets with
blood?
Sometimes, he would allow himself to believe that their dreams, if any at
all, would be of love. The gentle, yet solid connection they had with
their pilots. With the world they were helping protect. The joy of
becoming alive night after night. Reaching out to touch the world. That
the destruction they caused was, to them, the sweet ballet of a heady
romance, brought to it's sexual level.
Of course, he knew that was foolish, and the only reason he believed in
that was because of Yui.
Yui. He thought of her name. Damn...why did he have to do that?
Now...now it was all over.
He found himself staring up at the blank white ceiling, remembering his
dream. The same one he dreamt so very long ago. The sense of deja-vu
was overwhelming.
Fuyutsuki treasured it.
He remembered the night so clearly. What he sometimes chastised himself
over and over again for...sometimes...he treasured with all his heart and
soul.
Fuyutsuki dared not think of it often. Not around Gendo. It would just
be another tool he could use against him.
"You're not much different when you're drinking, Sensei." She had
laughed, smiling that wonderful smile at him. It was always that smile
that brought him back to this dream. The hope he could see it again.
He had been cleverly asked to join the students for the night at the bar.
It was just after a big mid-term, and he now saw their logic...he would
be too hung over to grade the papers over the remainder of the weekend,
and would probably end up giving them all passing grades.
The old man wasn't so old at the time...but he still promised himself a
limit of two beers at the bar.
For his health, he reasoned.
Of course, he justified drinking more when Yoshi, one of his students,
invited everyone over for a house-party. Yui was invited as well.
Refusing the offer was not possible.
As is the way of such things, however, the party seemed to go on without
him. He found himself admiring the pictures on the wall, or taking tiny
strolls out into the garden of the household. It was very nice, even for
pre-Second Impact standards. Large, modern, but with a wonderfully lush
and well-tended garden out back.
He had just finished off his forth little sake-bottle when he found
walking became too hard to attempt. A friendly, empty wooden bench
beckoned him closer and he sat down, trying not to look drunk.
Yui had stayed hidden from his sight until then. He didn't mind,
however...when she finally did come by, it made the waiting worth it.
"Fuyutsuki-Sensei! Why are you all alone out here? You should join the
party!"
She sat down next to him...a playful girl compared to the stark, stiff
old man. At first, his only concern was not to seem too drunk and make
an ass out of himself...but that slowly melted away when he saw the way
she looked at him. Such admiration and...awe? No, he was too modest to
admit that. Whatever it was, though...
It felt nice. It felt wonderful to have this amazing woman hang on his
every word...his thoughts...his dreams...
"Yui, I'm afraid that when you get as old as I am, it's hard to simply
blend in with the younger crowd." He said sadly, but was mostly joking to
himself. It was true, but he didn't mind saying it out loud. Age was a
respectable thing.
...it also was quite an obstacle.
Looking the younger woman over, it was all too apparent. The warm
weather had given her the inclination to wear a sundress that day. The
night was warm, he thanked god for that, and she had not needed to change
into anything else. It was light purple...flower pattern...cut just low
enough to show that she was indeed a young woman, and the skirt came low
enough as well, to show she was not simply another young, dumb sophomore.
Her hair was short, as it had always been. But a part was clipped back
with a silver band, and the summer sun had tinted it a softer, light
honey along the edges of the darker brown. It denied the quick, sly
glance, demanding he focus on her, memorizing her face, her hair, her
body...all of her. She was not just a snapshot to be taken.
He found that he was wishing to be 15 years younger quite often now.
When she noticed him staring, she blushed slightly, but had the same
wonderful smile on her lips. "Kozo-kun..." she said softly...
That was the first time she said that. The only time...
"You're not that old..." she continued after a heartbeat that felt
impossibly delicious to him. It said: See? You're alive! For this
reason!
Maybe it was the sake...or the beers before that...but it was most
probably the fact she did not shrink away from his gaze that gave him
courage. He smiled, and turned to the house, looking solid and sure,
trying to be as nonchalant about it as he could. "I was once in their
shoes, Yui. I'm honoured they respect me enough to invite me here,
tonight...but I am not the same anymore." He turned back to her. "I
would rather spend the night being intoxicated while looking at the
heavens, not dancing around to pop music."
Oooh...smooth, O'Sensei. Very smooth.
The 'heavens' reference was not lost to the also slightly drunk Yui. He
didn't have to even give a reference. He was viewing her like the most
dedicated stargazer would an eclipse or comet.
She blushed deeper...but did not shy away.
"I take it back, Sensei..." she leaned back against the seat with him.
The warmth of her arm pressing against his was foremost on his mind. "You
are different when you're drunk." She turned to him. "But in a very good
way."
He bowed his head slightly...more than he meant to, but the alcohol made
it difficult to limit his reactions...and his thoughts. "Ikari-chan, you
honour me with those words." He smiled. "I thank you."
The silence was marked by both of them taking sips out of their
respective ales.
They spent the night watching the stars.
He still remembered each and every one of them...memorizing the sky that
night as if it was the only way he could prove the night was real. That
she existed to him like that. Scientific proof that he wasn't
dreaming...
After the Second Impact, the stars had changed. This had saddened him
like nothing else.
He remembered looking down after the casual conversation had slowed...
shocked...to find a tear rolling down Yui's face. He said nothing...he
didn't have to. Yui looked away for a moment...the dozen or so loose
strands of her hair shielding her eyes. Finally, however, she stood,
then turned to him.
"Thank you for the wonderful night, Fuyutsuki-kun..." she whispered. "I
enjoyed watching the heavens much better, too."
A nod and a smile was all he could offer...not daring to say anything
that would betray his heart.
And...then...before she turned away...
Yui leaned down and kissed him. Slowly. On the lips.
It was soft. Warm. He remembered the contrast of her cold, salty tears,
but her warm lips touching his own.
The dream would pause there. A fact he was eternally grateful for.
"After" that kiss simply did not exist. It didn't have to. At least not
right then and there. Time would catch up to them eventually, and she
would leave, but for now...
A kiss warmed his heart as he settled back into his covers for a final
two or three hours of sleep. He didn't pay any attention to the foggy
glow of a distant sunrise outside his bedroom window.
Maybe he would dream of it again.
It felt the same as the first time. The first morning after. Shinji
held Asuka with the warm, winter quilt over them to save themselves the
cool morning air. The balcony had been abandoned by the others far into
the night, and Asuka and Shinji had decided to spend the remainder of the
night together out there.
He didn't know if he was grateful, or saddened that they had migrated out
here. The first time, it had been to escape the stuffiness. To enjoy
the fresh, new air after they had explored the first step of their new
life together. It signified the end of something bad, and hopefully, the
beginning of something better.
Would it just be a nightly illusion? Shinji was still trying to wrap his
mind and emotions around the situation, but he knew he didn't want their
lovemaking to mean a temporary escape every time.
It wasn't supposed to be like that.
"I don't want to go into work today." Asuka whispered.
"Neither." Shinji agreed quietly.
She looked up at him, resting against his chest. "It reminds me how
worthless I am." She sighed and nuzzled against his skin. "You remind me
how special I am. I like that much better."
"Me too." He smiled softly and squeezed her reassuringly. "I like it a
lot better myself."
To himself, however, Shinji couldn't help but feel his heart sink to see
her like this. She had been so fiery. Bold. Demanding, but passionate.
Not like this...
And she knew it too. She wanted to come back more than anything. Fight
once more. Right now, however, she didn't have the strength.
Strength would return. Shinji promised himself this...making it true
again in his mind. Asuka would be better. Once she found her calling
again. Once they had a chance to recover. If he could just figure out
what to do to help her. Everything seemed to be one step forward, two
steps back with them. It would be nice to look at it all as bittersweet
memories years from now.
"You're smiling." Asuka said suddenly, noticing his internal mood
lifting. She smiled a bit too. "What are you thinking about?"
"Better times." He said, looking out over the skyline. "A bright,
wonderful future that we get to share in." he laughed. "Just cheesy
things like that."
She blushed and hugged him. "I like cheesy things."
"You're hungry too?"
Their combined gurgling stomachs betrayed them.
She yawned and slowly got up off of him, then pulled Shinji to his feet,
still wrapped in the blanket with him. "Yes. And I feel like I could
stand for a little real food for once. How about you?"
Shinji bowed his head, then smiled back. "Well, they do say that
breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We may as well start it
off right..." he paused.
Asuka looked at him carefully, wondering what was on his mind. Shinji
seemed to be watching outside, over the balcony, lost in thought. Maybe
looking at something. "What is it?" she whispered, recapturing his
attention in her eyes.
He shook his head and leaned into her for an embrace. "Nothing. Just
tired." He sighed, then smiled. "Come on...I'll teach you how to make
miso soup."
Asuka smirked. "Oh my! The mighty Shinji-Sama is going to teach me how
to cook? I think you've been hanging around the Sensei too much if
you're willing to teach a baka like me." She smiled playfully.
She was a bit caught off guard by the look he gave her. It was firm, but
friendly. Fatherly, almost, but not in the way she ever remembered from
her father. "I don't mind teaching you, Asuka-chan..." he said softly.
Pen-Pen watched for a moment with concern for the two, then waddled out
on the balcony, to watch the sky.
"Waugh."
The lonely monoliths gathered once more.
Echoing with a "THRUM!" as they appeared in sequence, the only real light
in the room came from the soft red glow from their status read-outs.
Proudly, like badges of secrecy, they all proclaimed that there would be
Sound, but nothing else besides their numbers.
It was they way these men worked. They way they preferred to run things.
They liked secrets and the cold joy of a cloak and dagger. Like old men
who believed themselves to be in Never-Land, they refused to realize they
were too old for these games.
The one known as Keel, yet respectively known as SEELE 1 under this
foolish game's rules, spoke first. Today was an important day, after
all.
"We are here to discuss the findings of our NERV inquest. The data has
been let known to all members, and I trust that this council can come to
an immediate decision."
There was a loud chorus of agreement.
Number 2 spoke. "Discrepancies in Ikari's data leads us to believe he
has accelerated his own plans. Due to our...inability...to gather
correct data about the Angel Attacks in question, and our further loss of
contact with the Magi supercomputers, it seems that our earlier
suspicions are correct."
Number 8: "He has help. This was not foreseen, nor was it planned for."
A slight pause, before which, more agreeing noises. Number 1 once more
took the stage. "Because of these unknowns, it is apparent that we must
force the Instrumentality project with our own hands. Ikari may have
helped to engineer it, but he knows that the options for stopping it are
few."
"If we force it now, we will overrule any plans made to stop it." Number
8 said. "Delay can only give NERV time to prepare further."
A long pause. Had the monoliths the ability to turn, they would have all
swivelled to face SEELE 1.
"Commence the attack. I will pull our strings with the JSDF." He said,
answered by a resounding array of approval. "We will delay them until
the Eva Series can be transported into the site. Make the preparations
for the final sequence."
"Finally!" came one reply. "Ascension will be ours!" shouted another.
Behind the monolith, the half-mechanical form of Chairman Keel smiled.
"I want NERV burnt to the ground by dusk. Nothing shall stop our
rightful entrance into Heaven."
"So be it." They all echoed. "A rain of holy fire will descend!"
And with that, the secret meeting of the most spoiled little kids on
earth was over. For now.
Lesson 47: [Just when you think it's safe to study, the fire-alarm goes
off, students go ape-shit and everything goes to hell. It is the school
system's way to teach you that in life, you will be severely fucked up
when you least expect it.]
***
Maya had always believed it silly to keep with the old traditions of the
Twentieth Century, save a few. Born too late to remember much of the
world before the Angels, and yet, too old to have only memories of this
century, she remembered harbouring spite and disgust at the Pre Impact
childhood she shared with many of the people here today.
Trust came easy for her, and she returned it in kind to both Aoba Shigeru
and Hyuuga Makoto. However, she still found it hard to share herself
with them. They seemed too childish. Makoto was forever lost in his
mixed match of a healthy Japanese work ethic, and his desire to simply
bask in the mighty glow that was Misato. Shigeru had a nostalgia that
was surpassed only by the oldest members of NERV; pretending to be an old
pop-idol of the old era whenever he thought nobody was looking.
It was too bad. She wondered if they'd share her musings on how silly
having a digital readout was, counting the seconds, minutes, and hours
after the last Angel's attack.
Not that it was silly, having the T-Plus count...rather, why use a simple
digital readout? Floating on a vast array of holographic screens, they
still pretended to have an old LCD clock? Powered by three of the most
powerful computers ever made? Did the MAGI even have to devote real
system resources to the effort? Was it a fraction of a millionth of a
percent? Or maybe was it just...
Ahh, the sleep deprivation was catching up now. She could tell it by the
way her mind would go off on these little random tangents. In all
fairness to her brain, however, this was the same cause for her lo...er
...infatuation with the good Doctor. Too much time on her hands was a
dangerous thing. In school, her marks were skyrocketing whenever she had
to force herself to work so she wouldn't daydream about boys...or
girls...or both. It was a bit frightening to have such an active and
complex mind during puberty.
Most of the results of her daydreaming were productive now. Programming
was a much more entertaining experience when you could do so in your
dreams, and she could almost achieve REM sleep during work if she wanted
to pull in an extra shift. Or two. Or three.
And it had paid off. They were still here. Still breathing. Still
living.
Now what?
"Maya." A scolding Ritsuko cut into her musings. "You're fidgeting."
She looked up in surprise at the Doctor, who was setting down a coffee in
front of the young assistant. "Sorry, Ma'am."
The older of the two looked down at Maya with a raised eyebrow. "Ma'am?
You're not thinking dirty thoughts about me being a dominatrix now, are
you?"
Thankfully, the comment was quiet enough to save Maya's embarrassment
from being public. "Sempai...I...I didn't mean that..." she sputtered,
trying not to turn into a tomato.
Ritsuko chuckled softly, then bowed her head. "I apologize. I'm just a
bit off today. Spending most of the night at the Misato residence always
throws me off." She took a long sip of coffee and shook her head. "I
swear that girl is a bad influence on me. Ever since we started hanging
out in school..."
Maya smiled thoughtfully as her teacher ran her hands through the
blondish locks of her hair. "You dyed your hair because of Misato?"
"Yep." Ritsuko laughed. "Well, indirectly." She paused, then sighed.
"I'm sure you'll not like to hear it, but I died my hair to attract
Kaji's attention." She shook her head with a smile at some old memory.
"I heard somewhere that he liked blondes. However, my information was
incorrect. Turns out he liked red-heads the best, and I ended up keeping
my hair blonde for two reasons."
"What reasons?" Maya asked, taking a sip of her own coffee.
"One...so I wouldn't look like I was TRYING to impress him, and give him
any kind of satisfaction whatsoever." She chuckled. "And, two, I wanted
to keep it as a reminder. How easily I was manipulated by my own damn
sex drive."
Maya laughed, but then stopped as she saw Ritsuko look up to the upper
command bridge. "Sempai?"
"I didn't learn anything from it, after all." She sighed, then turned
back to Maya with a much warmer smile. "It's too bad, though. I bet you
would have liked me with my black hair."
"It had crossed my mind..." she whispered into her cup, trying to hide
her smile and blush.
Makoto interrupted their conversation with loud, impatient yawn, as if
the Doctor would be able to cure his boredom. "So, what do we do now?
The commander ordered we're not to leave the base, and yet, we're not
doing anything."
"We are here to make sure nothing else happens." Ritsuko said casually.
"You didn't think we'd just dismantle NERV the moment we thought we'd
won, did you?"
Maya sighed to herself. Ahh, yes...and then there was the good Doctor.
Definitely not a child like the others. Of course, she had to stop
thinking along those lines, or images of dominatrix costumes would be
next.
"I suppose." He sighed.
Shigeru nodded. "I guess the only thing left to do is wait for this
Instrumentality program."
Ritsuko looked over to him like he had said something dirty...but then
away. "I suppose you're right."
Makoto shook his head. "Still, I find it a little odd that it's all
over." He looked up at the screens. "The Evangelion Series is completed,
the U.N. just approved our budget for the next five years, and we haven't
heard anything from the Committee even hinting we should pack up."
Ritsuko smiled. Makoto knew a lot more than she gave him credit for.
Perhaps his crush on Misato was a useful thing after all. "I would
assume that NERV has plans reaching far past this batch of Angels." She
shrugged. "If only to have the ability to fight back later on."
Maya's musing about the digital readout was what gave the indication of
things about to change.
It flickered.
Just once. Just for a moment. Ritsuko saw the quizzical look on the
younger one's face, and turned to the screen. "What is it?"
Maya shook her head. "I don't know...I thought I saw something..."
Ritsuko wheeled her chair quickly over to her control station. "Is
anyone running a benchmark on the database?"
The blank looks on all their faces made her heart sink.
Maya ran over to her workstation as well and looked up, white as a ghost.
"We're being attacked!"
"Shut it down!" Ritsuko ordered.
"Too late!" Makoto replied. "No effect!"
A long, loud klaxon filled the command centre.
Above them, Gendo watched the screens light up. Fuyutsuki shook his
head. "As I predicted...our last enemy is human."
Gendo looked up at the old man and nodded. "SEELE is indeed as foolish
as I thought. The old men want only death."
"I'm sure they're quite proud about that fact." Fuyutsuki said, walking
to the elevator as the room exploded into activity.
"Death creates nothing." Gendo said, still sitting.
"Always a romantic, hey, Yui?" the old man whispered to himself as he
descended.
Ritsuko rushed passed him as he arrived to the main floor. With an
outstretched arm, the old Sensei halted her rush. "Doctor."
She smiled briefly. "Yes, Sub-Commander?"
"You must have a lot on your mind today." He said quietly. "You didn't
even touch your coffee."
Ritsuko raised her eyebrow and nodded. "Yes, I suppose you can say
that."
The communications relays exploded onto the display, showing the cuts and
problems...eventually...all targeting the Magi's firewall. Five sources,
from all around the world, had been employed on this attack. The five
angry daughters attacking the mother because their boyfriends said to.
"We need time for the Children." Fuyutsuki said simply. "I know you may
have problems with helping the commanding officers of NERV at the
moment." He said. "But I need to ask you if you can do this."
The blonde woman bowed her head slowly. "I haven't given up yet." She
smiled as Maya rushed past her, initiating the codes to access the Magi
underbelly. "You'll get your time and more, Kouzo-san."
He smiled at the comment and let her past. "Thank you, Akagi-san." He
chuckled. "I'll keep him off your back."
"Every little bit helps." The doctor said, then turned to Maya. "Get the
auxiliary firewall box."
Maya blinked. "You're going to open up the Magi again?"
"We have to." She turned to the main screen...then glanced back up at
Gendo, who sat unmoving. "I want to save my mother." She whispered.
Misato's cell phone had rung about thirty times before she finally had
the chance to answer it. It really hadn't been her fault. Kaji had the
habit of hanging out in interesting places that were usually very hard to
get into...and out of...and so, she had been asleep most of the night
from visiting his usual hang-outs.
Mostly bars...a few strip-clubs...and three all-night sushi stands that
she knew of. None of the people there admitted to knowing a Kaji...let
alone telling the strange, officially-dressed woman of his current
location.
Finally, though, it had happened around three a.m. of last night. Just
before last call, she found an old tempura stand on the edge of town,
leading out of the Tokyo Valleys.
Exhausted, and about to call it a night, she sat down and ordered some
food to go. During the conversation that was cooked up along with the
food, Misato had let it slip that she was looking for her old boyfriend
and his buddy.
The old cook had been kind enough to mention of two young men who seemed
in a hurry two nights ago to rush out of town towards the mountains.
Sure enough, they had turned out to be Kaji and Miyazaki after a bit of
remembering and description telling.
It was too much of a head start, but Misato had the lead she needed to
find out they had rented a Jeep just on the outskirts of the valley. She
had spent most of the night trying to get the Coast Guard to listen to
her at four in the morning, asking them to keep an eye out for the two
men.
The cell-phone was the next thing she heard after waiting for the
bastards to phone back. Sleeping in her little sports car was not as fun
or comfortable as she had hoped it would have been.
It was her official NERV line. Either Kaji was playing a joke on her, or
yet more hell was about to come her way.
She heard Makoto say the words "attack" and "magi". The rest of the
time, she drove to find Asuka and Shinji. She was actually fairly
relieved to find both of them at home...despite the fact they were
sharing a blanket as they were wandering about the kitchen, fixing
breakfast.
Shinji saw her face and sighed. "Oh no..."
Asuka looked at him, as if about to panic, then back to Misato.
Instantly, she knew it was not her disapproval of cooking naked that was
bothering the older woman. "No..."
Misato nodded and leaned up against the wall, not bothering to take off
her shoes. "We have to go. NERV is being attacked."
The young man nodded, but was interrupted by Asuka hugging him tightly.
"We're not going." She said, shivering.
Both Misato and Shinji blinked. "Asuka...we have to." The latter of the
two said. "If we don't, everything we've accomplished so far is..."
"I don't CARE!" she yelled out, though was content on doing so into
Shinji's shoulder. "I'm staying here! I'm not going to go just to be
useless again!"
Misato's eye twitched. Shinji took a deep breath. "I see many problems
ahead..." he thought to himself.
Though, he was still a bit surprised when Misato covered the distance
between the three with four angry strides, grabbed Asuka by the neck, and
pulled her off of Shinji. (who was now wishing he had underwear on,
since the pull left Asuka with the blanket)
She took Asuka as far as she could before the struggling redhead managed
to fall on the hall-way floor. "You ungrateful little CHILD!" Misato
screamed right back. Her voice was long-since cracking from fatigue and
anger. "Don't you dare say you don't care about all of us! Not after
I've been through things even YOU can't imagine!"
Asuka looked up, shaking, hair everywhere. She couldn't speak, but
gasped out, holding her neck.
"The Japanese Government issued an order completely waiving any rights
and protecting NERV has." She leaned over Asuka with such ferocity that
both Children were stunned. "Do you know what that means, Asuka?"
Asuka shook her head weakly.
"That means that if they can't take over the Magi, they are going to send
in troops to occupy the base." She said darkly. "And I think the first
place they would look for you two Pilots is my apartment." She hissed.
"What do you think they will do to you and Shinji? Lock you up? Tie you
to the chairs so you can't possibly save NERV with your Evangelions?" she
smirked, just as darkly. "Do you know easy it is to pull a trigger,
Asuka? Do you know how much six bullets will cost to make sure you two
can't do ANYTHING to stop them?"
Shinji looked away as the images of blood and gunfire filled his mind.
"Misato...please...we know."
"No. I don't think you do know, Shinji-kun." She looked over to him,
regarding him in such a way that made him nervous. "I was taught these
things, Shinji. You take out your pistol, and you put two rounds in the
person's chest...instantly rupturing their lungs and heart... hopefully
even hitting their spine high enough to kill them instantly."
Asuka was sobbing quietly when Misato turned back to her. "And then,
just to be sure, you put one more round in the target's head. Chances
are, no matter how random your aim, that the target will not survive."
Shinji walked over, covered up by a dish-towel, and knelt down to Asuka
as she cried. "Misato's right, Asuka. If you're at least safe inside
Unit 2, then I know you'll be fine. We can handle a couple tanks and
stuff...just so long as I know you're okay."
She looked up, completely terrified. "You won't leave me in it...will
you? You'll come back and get me out...right?"
He nodded, hoping to be as steady and calming as he could, even though he
was shaking himself. "I promise...but Misato is right...we might be in
danger here if the base is attacked."
Misato looked away, heading back to the door to let the two get dressed.
Inwardly, she cursed herself for being so on edge. A long night of
riddles and stress, she assumed. She had no time, even in a patient
state of mind for Asuka's childish behaviour, either. Shinji would no
doubt be mad at her. It wasn't the time for this, though, and he knew
it. Even if she had just alienated his friendship, at least the boy knew
she was doing it for the right reasons.
After a bit of strength-retrieval, Asuka stood and walked over to her
room. It hadn't been touched in two days now, so it was easy to find her
clothes and get dressed in a hurry. Shinji followed suit, and the two
met Misato at the door. They weren't dressed in their school uniforms,
which were useless until the school was rebuilt anyway. Both were
dressed in quick, loose pants and shirts. They would probably have to
change the moment they got to the base anyway.
Misato took one last look around the apartment, then turned off the
lights, hoping she would be able to see it once more. They then rushed
to the car.
Hopefully, Pen-Pen could take care of himself.
In the crawlspaces of the Magi assembly, the sound of rapid typing echoed
out along the bulbous metal. Maya had long since given up trying to
help, as she was clearly outclassed in this situation. The Student could
still not surpass the Master...especially when it came to the Magi.
Reading the thousands of lines of code that were left by the maker of
this machine, Maya could see snapshots and glimpses into how the
supercomputers thought. How they felt. A line here...written from an
old C++ port...then over here, all x86 Assembly. On the same page, in
bold, were some of the earliest documented Trinary Assembly Language ever
written...after all, it was pioneered by the group that turned into
Project E. Later on, as the project refined, they introduced the three
types of Intelligent Production Language...forming most of the Magi's
core programming.
This is what Ritsuko was doing...tapping directly into the Magi's core
systems. Normally, these were left completely untouched, as they were
insanely complicated to deal with on a daily basis. Interaction with the
Magi was primarily accomplished by 'talking' to the artificial
intelligence the core produced...not the actual core.
Sometimes, Maya would imagine all people were like this. She prided
herself on this theory, actually...and it always seemed correct. It was
probably also responsible for her unwillingness to really get to know
people, though. Why bother if you could only see the outer shell?
Ritsuko was different. On rare occasions she let Maya see her inner
workings...even if Maya wasn't quite ready to understand them. Yet.
While she had a shell around her too...and it was far from perfect...
Maya found herself deeply attracted to the woman behind all the images
and opinions and dyed hair.
When...and if...she could just reach that core...
Wonderful things happened inside her too.
"Maya, can you plug my terminal into the forth quasi-blade?" Ritsuko said
quickly, taking a quick breather as Maya moved the cords. "I'm almost
done...just a few more things to make sure of."
Everything was manual down here. Not polished or glowing or bright. It
was real. You could touch the walls and feel the information hum around
you. You could tell when it was sleeping...or when it was alive and
awake. It was naked and beautiful to eyes that could see it correctly.
SEELE had control of fifteen of these computers, and yet, there was hope
of this one remaining Magi of surviving. As the green lights began to
replace the red ones, and an echoing 'Six!' filled the background hum of
the machines, Maya took a grateful breath that her Sempai had proven her
correct.
Outside, in the control room, they could hear the cheers of the bridge
personnel as they saw the attack had stopped and they had breathing room.
She turned back to see Ritsuko gently touching the 'brain' plate of
CASPER. "Sempai?" she whispered. "What is it?"
"I don't know." She said, closing the little lap-top terminal that she
had been working on. "I want to stay here for a while. I don't feel
like going out there again." She said softly. "There's not much else I
can do out there."
Maya nodded her head slowly, then turned. "I can leave if you want."
Ritsuko nodded back after a moment, and Maya began to crawl out of the
hatch. She fought the urge to say something else...it wasn't her place
to interrupt. It was obvious Sempai would need some time to think.
She heard the communications beep of Ritsuko's lap-terminal, and was a
bit surprised to hear the next phrase.
"We're going to stay under in case SEELE manages to rip through the
defence. Ibuki will be assisting me. If anything comes up, just call."
"Rodger, Doctor. Looks like you stopped them. Keep it up. We'll alert
you if we see anything up here." Fuyutsuki replied after a brief
pause...he was probably just as busy keeping things under control up in
the main room.
Maya turned to see Ritsuko smiling. "Well, if this is going to be our
last day on earth, I'm certainly not spending it around that asshole."
She explained.
"It's not going to be our last day on earth, Sempai." Maya smiled back
and crawled back down into the jungle of metal and notes. "We'll make
sure of it."
"Damn your optimism." Ritsuko sighed as she re-adjusted her glasses.
"It's too catchy."
Maya just smiled and opened up her own terminal.
The looming, geometric shadows appeared once more...the red light from
their sequential labels seemed to cast a bloody glow on the floor around
them.
"Ikari has set the protection of the Beast on the Magi." SEELE 01 said.
"Do we have another option?"
"Of course." SEELE 04 said after a moment. "Occupation will commence
immediately."
Behind the monolith, an old man smiled. "As promised, Ikari...I will
bring you death most swiftly. You have served your purpose...and
now...Eva will serve it's own destiny, with or without you."
Far away from the monolithic riddles and super computers, Toji walked
along the streets, contemplating why they seemed so empty. It echoed his
mood. He did not want to be here today. Not in the slightest.
He had been contacted due to the First Level alert at H.Q. by the NERV
computers that morning, otherwise he would have never bothered coming in
today. He knew exactly where he would have rather been, and it wasn't
even in Tokyo-3. Hikari and her family moved with the mass migration
last week, back to the Tokyo-2 area and barracks that had been set up for
the families escaping from the crater of their former lives.
Most of the urge to venture to Tokyo-2 was due to the vivid memories of
the last night he saw her...before everything got even crazier. He never
thought the concept of counting the freckles on a young woman's body
could be so appealing.
Of course, it had been passively. He hadn't actually had the opportunity
to count the freckles on the lovely miss Horaki just yet... but the idea
had been haunting his mind in the most delicious way ever since she
promised him the chance to do so next time they met.
He knew it was probably fear talking the loudest...that Hikari had just
been worried she would never see him again. It was quite possible that,
surviving the next few days permitting, he would run back into her arms
and she would shy away like usual.
However, even that was looking mighty fine right now...and the mere
possibility of a careful study session like what she had suggested was
making his brain quite proud that it had noticed the blood. After
all...his brain wanted to count them darn freckles. Couldn't do that if
you got ambushed and gutted like a fish. Brains needed blood to work.
So did most of the rest of the body.
Toji simply ducked behind the nearest car. He could see the guard at the
4th Gate slumped over in his chair. He looked fine...except his head was
down as if he was sleeping, and a small drop of blood was right below.
The shadows around the guard seemed too big. In fact, he wasn't quite
surprised when one of them stood up and began to do something to the
guard's key-belt.
What did surprise Toji was the heavily armed strike team member that
stepped out of the car he was hiding behind. He had been laying too low
to see...but also...too low to see Toji. "Shit..." he whispered to
himself. "What the hell is going on?"
Of course, the answer came to him as he watched the shadow 'talk' to the
man who just stepped out of the car with some kind of hand-signalling
language. Kensuke would have been proud to see his friend remembered so
much of military tactics to recognize them as advanced scouts for a much
larger strike team.
NERV was about to be invaded.
So, he did the only thing he knew he could accomplish against two armed
men with assault rifles and body armour. He slid into the car, found the
keys still in the ignition, and prayed the car started quickly.
It did.
Just as the shadow-man got the gate open, Toji revved the engine up,
popped it into gear, and managed with his limited driving skills to
completely flatten the two scouts against the metal bars of the gate.
The car crumpled quite effectively, and an airbag to the face knocked him
senseless for a moment. The cold reality that he was probably about to
die if he didn't get a move on, however, managed to sober him up quickly
enough. He fell out of the smashed car's door, and promptly threw up
when he landed on all fours in the puddle that used to be one of the men.
Luckily, his assault rifle was not part of the puddle. He forced himself
to grin. "Kensuke...I hope you told me how to use one of these when I
was listening..." he whispered, grabbing it and three clips he could find
without too much searching.
He ducked through the open and smashed gates, then ran down the corridor,
praying he remembered where Unit-03 was.
"You! Hey you!" came a voice.
He swallowed hard, then turned around to see a group of men standing in
the opening of the door.
Gunfire never sounded so loud before, he thought to himself as he fell to
the ground. Damn Kensuke for his lies.
Shinji and Asuka were silent as the car began to descend into the
Geofront. Misato was doing her best to co-ordinate things on her phone.
Makoto was just trying to keep up on the other end of the line.
"They've already taken both warehouses?" Misato swore, thinking of the
routes in her mind. "It's a decoy. They'll try to capture Section 803
and the Eva Cages"
Somewhere, far above the car-train, came a loud BOOM! A flickering
explosion followed. They had been up on the ledge only twenty seconds
earlier. Now that they had arrived at the car-train, though, they would
have more of a head start.
"Misato...what about Rei and Toji?" Shinji asked quickly when Misato
seemed to be waiting for a reply.
The Major turned to him and shook her head. "I don't know. Toji was
called earlier on in the day, but I'm not sure if he reported in yet.
Rei came in early too. I've ordered that all non-combatants be
evacuated, but there's no way to tell what will happen if they see her."
"She'll be killed...just like us." Asuka said to herself as she watched
the remains of the explosion now quite far above them.
Misato nodded and then turned her attentions back to the phone. "Hai.
Hai. Okay, secure a path to the ninth hall for me. I'll try to be there
as soon as I know Shinji and Asuka are safe." A pause. "Damn! Okay,
flood all routes except 47 with Bakelite. Yes! I know! Don't worry,
I'll get them there!"
Shinji didn't like the look on her face. "What is it?" he asked.
She shook her head and turned on the engine once again once they slowed
down at the bottom of the Geofront Garage. "I have to get to the command
centre, but not before I get you two to the Evas. The invaders have
already cut off most of the routes between us and Unit-01."
"Who are the invaders?" Shinji asked.
"The JSDF." Misato said simply. "Shinji...we're not equipped to deal
with an invasion like this. Not by humans. If we can't get the
Evangelions operational we're all going to be captured or killed." She
revved the engine and they took off down the dark parkway.
Shinji sighed. "Why would they attack us? We're on the same side!"
Misato smiled, mostly to herself. "Would you let your father control
three of the most powerful weapons on earth if it wasn't completely
necessary?"
Shinji said nothing.
It seemed surreal. At first, they were always ahead of the attack. In
the back window, there was a constant flickering of gunfire or an
explosion. However, no matter what short-cuts Misato took, and no matter
how fast they drove, it seemed as if the squeals of tires and gunfire
came closer and closer.
Finally, Misato gasped and had to slam on the breaks. "Ah hell!!" she
quickly turned off the engine. "Out. Both of you. We'll take the rest
on foot."
Shinji scrambled out, helping Asuka, who seemed ready to accept her fate
and die. "Come on...we have to hurry..." he told her, lifting her up
with his shoulder and arm around her.
"Hai." She whispered weakly. At least it was better than nothing, he
figured.
Misato lead them past the reason they stopped. A spill over from one of
the flooded hallways had blocked the road. Red goo had popped through a
hole in the wall that probably had never been noticed long enough to be
repaired. Enough of the Bakelite spilled over, however, to create quite
a speed-bump, to say the least. They scrambled over the now-hard goo,
then on the other side, took a downward-sloping tunnel past another small
parking lot.
She whipped out her Cell-Phone and punched in the control centre.
"Makoto! We're passing intersection 4-T-9 right now. Visitor Parking
667. Where's the nearest utility elevator?"
"Keep going about three hundred metres." He replied. The voice was loud
in the echoing darkness of the parking garage. "It will take a bit of
time to power it up. Elevator T-92 will be ready in about a minute. I
don't know how long we can keep it up, though. They just cut the Redline
to the section!"
Misato slowed, then helped Asuka on her arm, so she could help Shinji
carry her. "Get it ready. We'll be there."
"Good luck, Misato."
They rounded the corner to see the small indentation of an elevator door
about a sprint away. That was right around the same time Misato caught
the glimpse of a red laser point off the far wall. "Oh shit!" she
gasped. "They made it past the Bakelite!" she whispered. "They might
have access to the Bakelite controls. Shinji, you take Asuka and get her
into Unit-02. Then, take the access hatch between the cages. You know
the one I'm talking about, right?"
Shinji nodded, but then blinked. "You're not coming down with us?"
"It would be useless." Misato said as they finally reached the access
hatch. "I have to get to the control centre, and you have an army to
kick out of the Geofront." She smiled, letting Asuka down against the
wall as they waited for the elevator to gain power.
"No." Shinji shook his head, then grabbed Misato's hand. "You're coming
with us."
Misato blinked, then smiled. "The elevator's too small anyway."
Shinji frowned, then let her hand go. "You might be killed if you stay
here. You two go ahead. I'll take the next car!"
"I can take care of myself." She said, pulling out her gun to the obvious
discomfort of the Third Child. Misato then reached into her back holster
and pulled out a smaller pistol and handed it to Shinji. "Nine rounds."
She explained. "Safety is on the other side of the chamber. It's just
like how we practiced in the sims. Line up the target, pull the switch."
She winked. "Easy as pie."
Shinji looked at the gun in his hands with a frightened expression. "I
don't want to shoot anyone."
"And I don't want to shoot anyone either." She whispered as the sound of
an engine came gunning from where they had come from. "However, I will
kill each and every one of those bastards who try to kill you two kids."
She smiled grimly. "You two are just getting started in life. I am not
going to let anything stop you two from being happy."
Asuka seemed content to just look at the floor beneath her feet.
"You have to protect Asuka." Misato said. "Now, we can't be sure that
the invaders wont be in the Cages waiting for you. If they shoot Asuka,
you will regret it for the rest of your life, Shinji. I promise you
that." She forced his hands closed on the gun. "If anyone tries to stop
you..."
Shinji looked up at her with a similar grim smile. "Two in the chest
...one in the head. Right?"
Misato nodded...cursing herself for mentioning it. "Yes, unless know
kill them on the first shot. This isn't like the automatics you used in
Eva, so save your bullets. They're Teflon coated, and should get through
their vests." She sighed as the control panel lit up, pressed the 'Down'
button, and a green indicator showed the elevator car was on the way to
their level. "I want you both to listen to me. I don't know the
specifics...but if we lose control of the Evas, the Third Impact isn't
far behind. Everything will be destroyed, and those sick old men get
their wish of oblivion."
"What exactly is the Human Instrumentality Project, Misato-san?" Shinji
asked.
"I don't know." Misato smiled. "Our next evolution, I suppose...Or the
end of the world." She shook her head. "Maybe that's a good thing... but
I'm enjoying my life how it is right now. I don't need a change. At
least, not like this."
The doors snapped open, scaring them...but revealing only a bright
elevator car. Misato helped Asuka into the tiny lift, then walked over
to Shinji. To his surprise, she leaned down and gave him a small kiss on
the cheek. "Take care of yourself." She whispered. "I'll see you both
after this is all over. Okay?"
Shinji nodded, then entered the elevator car. He turned around with a
smile. "Thank you, Misato-san."
"Don't mention it." She smiled back, reaching for the controls.
That was when he saw a small red dot on the side of Misato's neck.
Shinji gasped out, reached for the door...
And it snapped shut before he could do anything else.
He fell back, looking up at the door as the elevator began to speed
downwards. A look of pure horror was on his face. "Misato..." he
whispered. He strained, listening for gunfire...but the cold white walls
hid any further sound.
Asuka was crumpled up in the corner. "Lucky Misato." She whispered back.
"She gets to miss all this."
Shinji turned to her slowly, horrified. She had seen it too. A laser
scope...had they been that close behind them? Misato...did she know? Is
that why she never came? So they would have time? Another sacrifice to
make sure they would be safe. The odd thing is that Shinji began to feel
it should have been him.
The door snapped open a moment later, revealing the lit, but abandoned
section 802, and the hall leading around Unit-02's cage. "This isn't
happening..." he whispered to himself. "It's all falling apart..."
Asuka smiled weakly up at him. "At least we'll be together, Shinji-kun."
He looked down at her...then grabbed her wrist, hauling the redhead to
her feet without another word. Asuka gasped out in pain, but followed as
quickly as Shinji moved down the hall.
"Section 8 is secure. 'Purple' is inactive. Bakelite injection
successful. We are now searching for 'Blue'." The commander nodded and
shook his head, looking at his watch.
"What's wrong, sir?" A young lieutenant was next to him, assisting with
the radio noise.
They watched from the safety of a destroyed missile turret post that had
once been part of the laughable NERV defence. However, it was beginning
to be quite apparent their best defence was secrecy. His troops were
having trouble finding the original three Magi, let alone the Command
Centre.
"The Committee is impatient." The field commander said, motioning over to
his second in command. "Control gave wind to them launching a few hawks.
Chances are that they'll be bombing in a moment."
"Pull out from the outlying areas! All internal troops, brace for
impact! Tank commanders, stand by!" Second yelled out. "Sir! They're
sending an N2 Mine!"
He sighed, shaking his head. Last year had been his first and only
meeting with NERV's commander. It had been a tense occasion, but things
had gone smoothly. He liked Ikari. Efficient. Dedicated. Though...he
wasn't too surprised when the orders came this morning. Dedicated men
like that had the habit of taking too much control.
Who he really felt pity for were the poor bastards under his command.
"N2 Mine confirmed! Hardware deployment in T-Minus 3 minutes!"
Once the top of the Geofront was destroyed, they could roll in real guns.
The Pilots were still not confirmed captured. If even one of those damn
puppets got loose...
They'd start the bloody end of the world...all over again. At least the
ugly purple one was secure.
"Relay the orders to the tank commanders. Get the demolitions crews
ready." He said out over the commotion. "We'll need to get in quickly
after they drop."
Off over in the horizon, he heard a bomber approaching.
For some reason, he thought back to his grade school days. He had been
sent home for only one week throughout his years there. One time, his
sister had been picked on by older boys and girls of his class.
So he beat them up.
The teachers were shocked. He caused more broken bones and concussions
than the school had ever seen...all in that one afternoon. When
questioned about it, he simply explained he was protecting his sister.
Brutally.
But for the right reasons.
Still...he couldn't help but feel a bit of regret when he saw those poor
kids the next week. Broken, still bloody.
"Everyone, get behind a blast shield." He said, walking to a point behind
the wall. "We're about to take this playground."
His communications officer blinked, but then gasped and ducked as the
entire sky seemed to explode with light.
Lesson 48: [Bring a bat to a fist fight. Bring a knife to a bat fight.
Bring a gun to a knife fight. Run the hell away from a gun fight.]
***
Misato shook as they frisked her. The anger was threatening to take hold
and make her do something rash. Considering the three men with assault
rifles next to her, with two of them training the laser sights on her
head, anything rash would probably make her dead.
"Where does the elevator go?" one of the men...the one frisking her
(well, at least he didn't seem to be enjoying it) asked as he stood back
up and pushed her against the wall. "Who were they?"
"I...I don't know!" Misato lied. "It goes to the warehouses, I think.
They were my kids! Please don't hurt them...It was just a field-day!"
The man sighed, flicked her rank-badge. "You're a bad liar, Major." He
raised his gun to her head. "And that means you're no use to us.
Goodbye."
Misato closed her eyes. Well...at least it would be quick.
The world seemed to explode around them. Past her eyelids, she imagined
she saw her deathblow...a bright blasting flash that seemed omni-present.
She had always thought being shot in the head would be peaceful...that it
would be simply...over. But...she heard something rumble and hot air
cascade around her, lifting her clothes and her hair.
The three men cried out in pain, and she did too, as three loud gunshots
rang out...but only hit once in her forearm. The pain was enough for her
mind to snap out of it's daze.
She spun around with a hopeful...and lucky...kick. Where the man had
been standing, her foot impacted into his face instead of his groin. He
had been on his knees, holding his eyes from the flash. His gun had
dropped to the ground.
The two others wailed, clutching their night-vision-goggle enhanced eyes
as well. She took the moment to relieve them of their pain, landing with
the closest gun in her hand. A dozen cartridges had been expended and
the three of them lay dead on the ground.
Misato collapsed, looking around, wondering what happened as the
adrenalin slowly left her blood.
That's when she heard the rumbling. Her mind supplied the image of her
and Shinji standing behind her ruined car as they watched the heat from a
fresh N2 mine dissipate. The sound had been the same.
"They're insane!" she cringed, remembering her wound. It took a moment
to use the nearest man's belt as a bandage, but with that, she ran off
down the hall, finding her cell-phone kicked off into the shadows.
"Makoto! Come in, dammit!" she gasped.
Static filled the air...interference, she supposed.
"Cheeky bastards! They used a motherfucking N2!" she yelled out loud.
"I swear, the whole world hates me today!"
She resolved never to curse the world again when she stumbled upon the
beginnings of lit hallway. Clearly marked by a blue arrow was the way to
Dogma.
Toji sighed as he realized he was not only utterly lost...but trapped as
well.
The sound of yelling and screaming seemed to follow him wherever he had
gone. The ventilation ducts had seemed like the best place to hide until
he realized he had no idea where he was going. Men and women rushed past
him...often being chased or chasing whoever was ahead. Gunfire seemed to
laugh at him. If he wasn't going to be shot, then at least he had to
listen to everyone else die.
Every scream and shot he heard, he imagined it was Shinji. Or Asuka. Or
Misato. Looking through the vents every once in a while didn't help calm
his mind. While he had not yet seen anyone he was worried for... the
people he did see seemed to be piling up. Everyone dead was in a NERV
uniform. Unarmed, almost always. The ones who were armed were shot down
with more force, and the people behind them seemed huddled together as
they had been killed.
Or burnt.
The flame-throwers were a nice touch, he grumbled. Oh yeah, why waste
bullets? After all, a bit of fire was so much more fitting for this hell
he was in.
The assault rifle in his hands felt so cold. He wanted to kill. Kill
the assholes who were doing this. No. That would be too stupid. He
would be shot down the moment he thought he was winning. He wasn't a
trained killer. Not like these people.
He was an Eva Pilot.
After a bit of consideration...and the fact he couldn't fit through the
bend in the vent...he left his gun behind. It had saved his life before,
but now it was only added weight.
The shadow of fans below him got him worried as he crawled over a grate.
Without any idea how high up he was, or how low he was, it was begging to
concern him more and more that he would fall through a weak grate to his
death. Past the fans had been only empty space.
After a few minutes of crawling, he relaxed, seeing a ramp going up. At
least that meant he might be going to the next floor. Maybe the troops
hadn't gotten that far yet. There was also light at the top. Not too
much to make him worry someone would be waiting with a gun to greet him,
but rather little slivers of light that meant he would soon have a chance
of getting out of this hell-hole.
As he approached, however, he saw that the last bit of air-way was cut
out, and led down into the darkness. A fan at the bottom spun quickly
and noisily.
"Chopped-Toji." He smirked. "I'm sure Asuka would be laughing at me.
She would say: Don't be a stooge! Get your ass up there and climb!" he
smiled. "You have a good woman there, Shinji. I won't let you two
down."
He made a semi-balanced crawling run at the ramp. While his legs fell
into the hole, his hands grabbed hold of a nice, firm seam in the sheet
metal. The next one wasn't too far up, and he scrambled his legs out of
the hole at the base.
"My heart is pounding..." he whispered to himself. A couple moments to
catch his breath, and he began climbing the dark metal tube. While there
were plenty of ridges and foot-holds, all it would take is one slip and
he'd go crashing back down.
He didn't notice the passage was much smaller than before. Well...he
didn't, anyway. However, as he reached the top, he was barely able to
squeeze his shoulders through. "Dammit!" he exhaled.
Kensuke wouldn't have had any better a time in this situation, he
imagined. There simply was not enough room to move through. The tube
was only about ten metres long, though...if he made it, he could enter
the square junction he saw up ahead. "Come on!" he gasped, feeling his
lungs rebelling against him. His arms were useless...every time he tried
to flex them to pull himself forward, he would get more stuck. With or
without his shoes, his feet simply did not have enough traction to push
him along.
It was about five minutes into his attempt that he began to sweat.
He had moved maybe five millimetres. To those unfamiliar with the metric
system, five metres is about the length of two people laying end-to-end.
Five millimetres is the width of half your index finger.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" he yelled out. "This is a bloody coffin!"
he gasped. "I am going to die here!"
The echo was not very helpful.
He sighed, then steeled himself. "No. I can't die in here! Even if I
want to give up, I can't!"
The air-duct seemed uncaring to his needs.
"Grr!" He pounded his head on the side. It actually did make him feel
better, despite the echo and head-ache that it would no doubt cause.
"Damn you, NERV! I'm not going to die here! I'm not going to die for
that Gendo bastard!" he took a deep breath.
"I HAVE FRECKLES TO COUNT! NOW LET ME PASS!!!" He slammed his head down
hard.
The entire duct ripped apart.
Toji blinked as he felt the entire world rumble and shake...then the
feeling of the metal around him falling.
"Oops..."
The end behind him wrenched free, and rivets exploded from their homes in
the bulkhead somewhere above. He felt the pressure around him suddenly
give way, and he slid out the end, still too surprised to do much more
than blink.
A blur of colours and shapes zoomed past him as he watched the roof fall
way...or rather...he watched himself fall.
For a long time. "Hikari..." he breathed.
He didn't dare look down. It didn't really matter. At this height, he
probably wouldn't feel a thing anyway.
Though...the splash was something of a surprise. He was engulfed by
liquid, and the world turned pink.
Pink?
The rumbling of the N2 Mine somewhere far above finally stopped. Shinji
looked up, gasping in fright as he saw the metal beams and shards of the
roof all around them. He had been shielding Asuka, though if anything
hit him, he wouldn't have been much of a shield.
"Are you alright?" he whispered, looking around once more for danger.
She was curled up in a fetal position, whimpering to herself. "Why does
it have to be so loud?"
He blinked. "What's so loud?"
"My death." She said, looking up to him with a gaze that chilled his
blood. "I wished it to be quiet. I suppose I can't be choosy,
though..."
Shinji pulled her up onto her feet...just barely. "Asuka, I promise,
you'll die quietly. Decades from now, in our bed, surrounded by loved
ones. Now come ON!" he pulled her hard. She yelped, but again, followed
his lead.
He didn't dare look back as he stormed down the ruined walkway. Asuka's
eyes threatened to swallow him up in the worst way. They made him want
to give up...just die. What was the point? What was the point if she
wasn't with him? Wasn't willing to fight?
But, over and over again, he thought to himself that it was all too
familiar. That it would only happen again and again...unless he stopped
it. Unless they all stopped it.
Watching Kaor...the last Angel...die in his hands. It had all seemed so
right, even though he could barely believe it when his hand crushed him.
When he tossed the corpse away. He could still remember his smile.
Damn him.
The hall to Unit-01 had been blocked with rubble, and there was no way he
could carry Asuka over all of it. While he felt the pull to get into the
Evangelion and stop this nightmare, he agreed both with his heart and
mind to get Asuka to safety first. Even if it killed him, he was going
to make sure she was okay.
Unit-02 loomed in front of them as they ran down the walkway. "Hurry."
He ordered, guiding Asuka to the change-rooms. He remembered from first-
person experience that the Plug-Suit had it's own life-support systems.
He wasn't about to risk her dying like that.
He kicked open the locked door and they rushed in side. He found Asuka's
locker without too much trouble, and produced a spare suit. "Get
undressed." He said.
She nodded weakly, disrobing. "Have to look my best..." she whispered.
He didn't really care what that meant, but was glad when she began
dressing in the red plastic on her own. All the while, he watched the
door.
She walked back over to him when she was done and sealed up inside the
protective layer. Shinji smiled, gave her hand a warm squeeze, and
turned his attentions to the Eva cage.
Two men were walking there. They were in black uniforms, holding guns.
Little laser dots skipped along the ground as they inspected the area.
Shinji felt the metal in his hand, remembering that it was his gun. "Oh
no..."
As the Command team watched their instruments flicker back to life,
Fuyutsuki sighed. "An N2 mine. They want to bring the 3rd Impact about
with Eva...not Angel."
"They wouldn't be so eager otherwise." Gendo agreed, adjusting his
glasses from the explosion knocking them slightly to the side.
Makoto gasped and turned around, looking at the Magi. "Dogma to Akagi!
Dogma to Ibuki! Please respond!"
Only a static hum filled the air. Everyone looked back in shock to see
the main Magi housing had fallen half a level. The entrance was now
between the floor and the door was dented.
Shigeru shook his head and did a scan. "Magi still operational. They're
okay. Communications are still being restored. We have a lot of
interference from the mine." He smiled over to Makoto. "Don't worry.
I'm sure Misato is fine, too."
"Please don't mention that." Makoto whispered, then turned back to his
control board. "Sir! We're getting reports of artillery moving along
the radius of the blast crater!"
Fuyutsuki turned to Gendo as the image was displayed on screen. Past all
the heat and fog distortion, they indeed saw a line of green and black
camouflage rumbling along the top. The sky above seemed deceptively
clear and calm. "Impatient indeed." He smiled. "Don't they know that
patience is a virtue?"
Gendo smirked, then stood. "Fuyutsuki-Sensei..." he said, placing a hand
on the man's shoulder. "Take care of the rest." He said, then walked
off.
Kouzo sighed, then turned back to the screen. "Say hello to Yui for me."
"Mmm."
The old man sighed, blinking a few times to clear away whatever it was
that threatened to make tears. "Damn dust." He stood. "Give me a status
update! Where are the Children?"
Asuka stood behind him. "Shinji...I want to sleep."
Shinji sighed. "You have no idea how much I would like to join you right
now." He squinted, watching the troops. They were walking over to the
cage controls. Bakelite. They were going to Bakelite the cage! Unit-02
would be helpless! "We have to hurry..." he whispered.
They waited for the two soldiers to move further down the ramp, then ran
across the walk-way, heading towards the elevator. There was an
auxiliary control panel right by the plug. The lift seemed impossibly
noisy in the calm air, but when Shinji spied the two men walking up to
the main control room, they were talking on radios, probably not hearing
anything.
"We can make it!" Shinji told Asuka, who smiled softly. "We just have to
set the launch sequence before they can stop us."
"I don't want to pilot." She said, shaking her head at him. "Eva doesn't
want me..."
"It doesn't matter." Shinji said with a begging voice. "Please...
understand...I just want to protect you! Unit-02 is tough. They won't
be able to harm you. I don't care if I have to fight them all myself."
He looked away as the tears threatened to take hold. "Just live."
She didn't answer. They arrived at the top of the gangway, now at the
red monster's neck. A plug was already inserted, open for a manual
entry. Shinji quickly found the access ladder that was kept around for
repairs and began wheeling it over.
Asuka watched with a vacant look in her eyes. If Shinji didn't know
better, he would have wondered if she was having a staring contest with
Unit-02. Unit-02 seemed to be at the disadvantage.
The plug hissed open as he opened it. Only air-pressure. He reached
down for Asuka's hand. "Hurry!"
She didn't move.
Shinji began to sweat. Especially when he heard the other elevator
activate. "Asuka, please! Hurry!"
She didn't move.
Shinji quickly jumped down and went to her. If it wasn't for the way she
smiled slightly when he touched her, he would have thought her a statue.
"It's okay, Shinji." She said softly. "We'll be together."
His eyes were wide. "Asuka...no...we can't give up now! Please! I'm
trying to..." he stopped when it was obvious his words weren't even
reaching her. "Help..." he said, then sunk to the ground as she did.
She sat down in front of him, smiling calmly. "Shinji...I love you so
much. I don't want to leave you. We can go together. I want to be with
you when the world ends." She said softly. "Please...this is my only
wish. You've done so much for me...you've made the pain bearable."
Something at the back of his mind snapped when it heard that.
Very slowly, he regained the feeling in his body. It was not from his
brain, down, however. It came first from the cold metal of the gun in
his hand.
"Bearable." He whispered back. His eyes were shadowed as he looked at
the weapon in his hands. "So that is what it all leads up to?"
Asuka's smile faded as Shinji raised the pistol to the side of his own
head. "W...what are you doing?" she asked. Tension was back in her
voice.
"Nine bullets. I'm sure there will be plenty enough for you." He said,
looking up slightly. "You're not much of the Shakespeare type, so I
don't think you'll use them on yourself." Had he been in any other state
of mind, the coldness of his voice would have scared himself. "But...if
you want to join me, or fight, you'll still have the choice."
Asuka moved for the gun, but Shinji snapped his head up, looking right at
her. She froze. "Shinji..."
"What?" He shook. "You want to ask me to die with you?" he cringed as he
saw Asuka react to the phrase, but didn't dare back off now. "You know
what? Kaoru may have been right...he told me that this had all happened
before."
"What...what are you saying?" Asuka whimpered, ignoring the tears coming
down her face. "Shinji...I...I thought..."
"What if it's my fault, Asuka?" he said, slumping a bit. At first...he
had only wanted to scare her...but the truth was coming out too quick.
"What if everything is happening because of me? Because of Unit-01?"
Asuka watched him pull back the firing pin with a choke.
He sighed and took a deep breath. "If I am the thing that's holding you
back...and making you give up, then I will fix that right now."
Asuka looked away for a moment, then back at him, eyes still full of
tears. "Shinji...I just wanted us to be..."
He didn't really realize he was crying too, until he heard his own voice.
"For the last week, the only thing on my mind is trying to figure out how
to get you back. How to make you fight back. Like you taught me to." He
swallowed hard. "If I'm just a bandage to make it hurt less, then I'd
rather you have to sew yourself up."
She shook her head. "You...I was only..."
"Then GET IN THAT PLUG!" Shinji yelled.
Asuka promptly collapsed, crying. "Shinji...I can't!"
He could hear the men running now. Shit...he had yelled. They were
probably going to shoot them on the spot.
He smiled to himself. No. He would do this one last thing. He would
save her. He wouldn't have enough time to run anyway...at least this
way, his death would have the chance to save someone.
"Asuka..." he said softly, then steadied the gun into his temple.
She looked up, at first, crying, but then suddenly, just in horror as she
saw the look on his face.
"I'm sorry I held you back." He sighed, then closed his eyes. "I love
you."
And pulled the trigger.
Asuka lunged, but it was too late.
The hammer snapped back...right into the safety.
She stumbled, shocked, onto the just-as-shocked Shinji Ikari, pinning him
against the gangway, wide-eyed and shaking. Both of them were shaking
now. "Y...you're not dead..." she whispered.
"I...I forgot about the safety..." he whispered back, taking a long deep
breath.
Asuka gasped as he quickly flicked the switch on the gun, removing the
safety. His eyes were intense and focused. "Shinji! NO!"
He rolled her off - just in time to aim. The gun fired three times.
Only one missed. The man in the black ammo vest and mask dropped to his
knees, with his hands going limp along with his gun. Both Children
watched as he slowly fell to the side, then over the edge of the railing.
She was about to pass out when Shinji heard the shout of the other man.
He spun around the edge of the ladder, gun first.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The poor bastard never knew what hit him. He had been running to check
on his partner, and was only three feet away from Shinji when he turned.
Two in the chest. One in the face, shattering the man's goggles. He
crumpled like tissue paper.
Shinji threw down the gun, shaking. "Oh my god..." Specks of blood were
all along his arm.
Asuka was motionless as he turned around. "Shinji..."
He collapsed in front of her, still shaking. "I...I'm sorry...I...I was
really going to..." he looked at her, terrified. "I thought I could save
you..."
Without another word, she grabbed him, sobbing. Her arms wrapped around
him tight, never wanting to let go. "You scared the HELL OUT OF ME!" she
cried. "Never EVER EVER EVER do that again!"
Shinji just joined her, holding on tight. He barely even remembered
shooting those two men. "I won't..." he sniffed. "I promise."
They stayed like that as long as they dared.
Another loud boom somewhere above, however, finally forced them to move.
"Asuka..." Shinji asked with begging eyes. "Please."
She nodded, quickly wiping her face with the sleeve of her plug-suit.
"Promise me...that we'll be together. That you'll come for me."
He stood with her, then embraced her once again. "I promise. Just be
safe."
"I love you, Shinji..." she kissed him. It was with shaking lips, and
tears on her face, but at least she was alive enough to move again.
He watched her scramble up the ladder, pausing only at the top with a
worried look on her face. She looked down, however, smiled, and quickly
climbed in.
"I love you too, Asuka..." he whispered. Numbly, he moved to the
controls. The Plug slid into the back of the Evangelion, and was covered
by the protective armour slabs he wanted to see protecting her.
The pool of cooling fluid began to drain out from the Cage as the Eva got
ready to be freed. It didn't matter that he had no knowledge of the
process other than the first part. Asuka was safe. They could take a
tank right up to her, fire all day, and she would be safe.
He almost didn't pick up the gun, but he mused that keeping his promise
would require it. Three bullets left.
Shinji Ikari ran down the gangway as it was moved aside for Unit-02's
launch. "Momma. Please, be ready. We have a lot to do..." he said to
himself.
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki sighed as he watched another of the many
explosions that day. Whoever had been left in charge of the attack was
smart. Instead of wasting time with the ruined car-trains, they simply
formed a ramp of several building husks to drive into the Geofront with.
The second battalion of tanks was coming now. VTOL attack choppers were
beginning to circle like buzzards. "They're stalling for something." He
told himself. "It's taking them too long to get this far."
Makoto nodded, then sighed, checking his weapon. "Dogma level three has
been breached. We may have a fight on our hands soon enough."
Aoba shook his head. "I wonder if the internal defence cut-backs were
planned from the start." He took an automatic pistol for himself and
chambered the first round.
"Ritsuko has a side arm. I'm not sure about Maya, though." Makoto
sighed. "She would probably be too scared to use it anyway."
Shigeru blinked, then shook his head. "What makes you think it would
come to that?"
"If they wanted to, they could have taken us over by now." Hyuuga said,
checking his gun. "They want to take the Magi intact. If it is indeed
their plan, they will need them to assist with this Instrumentality
Project of theirs. Ritsuko and Maya are trapped inside, but they would
be able to destroy the Magi, or defend it as a last resort."
Shigeru nodded. "Good point."
Fuyutsuki smiled. "Hopefully, we won't have to test that theory just
yet. While I'm sure you two have good intentions, it has been far too
long since I've seen either of you at the shooting range."
Makoto sighed, hanging his head.
"Request to join the bridge."
The three of them looked over at surprise to the emergency ladder that
had been build onto the side of the Central Dogma complex. Misato
Katsuragi pulled herself up with one last mighty heave, collapsing in a
heap. She was bleeding still, and Makoto rushed over with a medical kit.
"Misato-san! You're okay!"
More or less...she thought. "Ran into a bit of trouble." She said as he
began to fuss over her wound. "Sir! Have Shinji and Asuka reported in
yet?"
The Sub-Commander shook his head. "Not yet. We had given up hope until
you showed up."
"Wait!" Aoba interrupted. "Asuka is in her plug! I don't know how she
got there!" he smiled. "She's ready to launch!"
The image on the monitor showed another reality, though. She was barely
in her seat, curled up in a ball. Misato cursed under her breath.
"Launch Unit-02 into the lake. She'll be safe there until we can stop
the invasion."
"Roger!"
"Where is Shinji-kun?" She cringed as the last bit of bandage was applied
and she was helped to her feet. "He shouldn't be too far behind."
Makoto shook his head. "Unit-01's cage was the first they targeted.
He's probably locked out thanks to Bakelite."
Misato paled. "Damn...I have to go back there."
"There's no time, Major!" Fuyutsuki said as an explosion rang out down a
few levels. They all looked over the rail to see men running in, setting
up shields. A second later, they all hit the deck when the first shots
were fired.
Aoba Shigeru smiled over at Makoto. "Well, at least Maya isn't worrying
about shooting people."
Makoto nodded. "Really? I'd rather be out here than trapped in a Magi."
Deep inside the tunnel of circuitry and metal, Maya and Ritsuko sat next
to each other. It was necessary, as there was very little room. The
crawl-space had compressed slightly when the Magi fell the level.
Normally, this little 'room' was the size of a football. Luckily, it
hadn't been enough to crush them.
Somehow, though, they sat as far away from each other as they could.
Both were blushing madly.
"I'm sorry!" they both said at the same time.
Of course...that didn't really help things. The fact they were both
thinking how good it was that the darkness concealed their mutual blushes
wasn't helping either. The little room was becoming quite warm...not due
to the circuits around them, either.
"I thought we were goners..." Ritsuko said quietly. "I shouldn't have
done that."
Maya shook her head quickly. "S...sempai! Yo...you just hugged me. I
was the one that...Uhm..."
She thinks I'm some crazy homo...Maya sighed to herself. Dammit...why
did she have to be such a good kisser...Ritsuko pondered, then shook her
head clear.
They were interrupted by a distant explosion, and the sound of gunfire.
Maya slumped back in her 'seat'. "It's starting, isn't it."
Ritsuko opened up her laptop and tried to access some scans. "It looks
like most of the outer halls have been taken over. They're
systematically dissecting us." She sighed. "I think the noise out there
right now is their final attempt to capture the Magi."
Maya looked back out along the tunnel. "We should go and help!"
"We can't, Maya. Not until they have the time to dig us out of here."
She sighed. "If anyone survives."
The younger lady sighed and re-slumped back into her little seat. "Then
what do we do?"
Ritsuko peered at the screen past her glasses. "Rei isn't in her
quarters. Gendo isn't in Dogma anymore." She sighed. "I'm keeping an
eye on that bloody monster they have downstairs, then."
"Lilith..." Maya sighed. "What are they going to do with it?"
"Blow it up, hopefully." Ritsuko smirked at her own comment. "If they
could. However, they'll probably just use the Evas and cause the Third
Impact."
"Why on earth would anyone WANT to do that?" Maya shook her head.
"Everyone's crazy!"
"That's exactly why." Ritsuko sighed. "Eva means a lot of things to
different people. Some think it will be this amazing second coming of
human-kind. Others think it's a weapon. A few think that all this is
the only way to get into heaven...or hell. It doesn't matter in the
end." She said, looking at Maya. "We'll have to go through another hell
regardless. I remember way too much from after the Second Impact to wish
for it again."
A little red indicator caught her attention, and both women leaned over
the tiny screen to watch. "Someone just entered Unit-03's cage. It's
probably another attack. All they would have to do is get to the
Bakelite controls, and both it and Unit-01 are stuck. But Unit-02's been
launched."
Maya smiled excitedly. "Asuka's in it! She's okay!"
Ritsuko sighed, then nodded. "If she can sync."
A small pause filled the quiet room. "And if she can't?"
"Then we may be here for a while." Ritsuko replied.
A lonely yellow glow always seemed to fill this room. Strange to
categorize it as 'lonely', but it seemed always to be that way. Yellow
was always seen as light. As gold and warmth. The beautiful, crisp fall
leaves, or the rise of the sun over a field of wheat.
Rei floated in this yellow blood and felt nothing warm.
The pull was undeniable. Whatever parts of her mind, body and soul that
tied her to Eva also tied her to this...place. This hole in the earth.
The power in the room seemed humming to be released. It was a constant
strain...a sound that thrummed through her angrily. She felt no desire
to hum today.
She was already armed with all she could have been.
"Rei." Came the voice. His voice. "I'm glad you came." He said plainly.
Not even a bit of surprise in his voice. "It is time."
She quietly swam to the surface, then crawled out of the mock bath. LCL
drained off of her naked body. While she showed no emotion, inside, she
shivered at the way he looked at her.
"Come. It is time to go to the promised land." He placed a hand on her
shoulder.
She walked with him, eyes closed as to not betray herself.
Lesson 48 Addendum: [In school, my mother and father told me to avoid all
fights. That they were never worth it. However...they also told me
they would back me up any way they could; and that if I did get into a
fight...only to make sure the other kid didn't get off a second punch,
and never wanted to hit me again.]
***
The JSDF Field Commander sighed as he watched the steam continue up from
the huge hole in the ground. Troops were already stationed in the
Geofront now. The heavier tanks were being air-lifted in one by one.
They had all the time in the world.
"So...I'm still alive..." she whispered. The cool LCL around her nursed
her back to consciousness. She wanted to go back to sleep...but not when
it meant she had to look at the last few days through her mind's eye.
"Report coming in!" the communications officer announced. "Dogma
terminal has been secured. Magi under surveillance. 'Purple' locked
down. 'Blue' missing. 'Black' secured and will be locked down shortly."
The cool, soft hum of the Evangelion brought her no relief as her mind
threatened to show her the images of Shinji almost shooting himself just
minutes before.
"What about 'Red'?" The Commander asked, turning to his officers.
"Baka-Shinji..." she whispered into the LCL out of habit. A small smile
rose on her lips as she realized what she had said. It had been a while.
"Red has been found in Shite lake. Depth of 470 feet. Commence
bombing." It had taken only a few moments for the heavy artillery to aim
their underwater mines. A volley was unleashed.
The first two exploded around her. Waves of pressure seemed to toss her
about in her womb-like cockpit. Asuka didn't really register what was
happening until one bounced plainly off of Unit-02's head...and exploded.
"Ready a second volley!" the Commander sighed. "If this doesn't work,
we'll have to pull our forces out again so they can drop another N2 on
it."
She cried out again. This time, the pain seemed sharper. Each explosion
felt like the shot she had imagined Shinji killing himself with. The
sharp 'thwip!' as a noose cracked her mother's neck. Every BOOM! was
another gun being fired...another friend hitting the ground with a wet
thud. She cringed, curling up into a tighter ball. "I don't want to
die..." she whispered, shaking in pain.
"Explosions dissipating! Thirty seconds to reload. Next volley will
commence on your order, Sir!"
As the sound of bubbles rushed around her, she could still feel the heat
in her skin...burning her nerves. "I don't want to die! I don't want to
die!"
The Commander sighed and nodded. "Very well. Ready a second volley.
We'll keep going until we see blood or motor oil. Whatever comes first."
"I don't want to die..."
"Have we gained command of the Gunboat?" The Commander asked. The NERV
ship floated uselessly on the water now. It's crew had been killed and
all of it's weapons checked.
"I don't want to die..."
"Not yet, sir. We're having a bit of trouble getting the computer active
again." The communications lieutenant relayed. The commander nodded.
Soon, they would be able to sink the boat and self-destruct it next to
the Eva to make sure of it's inactivity.
"I don't want to die..."
"I won't let you die." Came the voice.
Asuka, at first, didn't hear it. Her entire soul was focused on the
mantra keeping her from losing everything. "I don't want to die!"
"Live! Live on!" she said.
"I don't want to die!"
"Live on! I won't let you die!"
"I don't want to die!"
"Be honest...be strong!"
"I don't want to die!"
Desperate, almost crying out: "Live on! You won't die!"
"I don't want to die!!!"
"Asuka..."
"I don't want to die!!!"
"My child..."
"I don't want to die!!!!"
"You are not alone! I am with you!"
"I don't want to die!!!!"
"Your mother is here!"
There was a flicker around her...the cold metal walls began to glow.
"I don't want to die!!" Asuka cried out. "I don't want to die! I don't
want to die! I don't want to die!"
Suddenly...everything went quiet.
A hand reached out to her. The soft, knowing smile of her mother seemed
to come down past the glowing ghost. Her hand gently caressed her cheek,
wiping away an invisible tear. "My daughter..." she whispered. "It is
not your time."
Asuka looked up with scared eyes. Nightmares entire books long came with
that voice...and yet...this time, it was different. Soft. Loving.
Oh...how she longed to hear it again! "Mama..." she breathed, not even
daring to whisper it.
The light nodded, still smiling softly. "My daughter...Live with me..."
Her hand reached out and, as if by magic, it seemed so real. So warm...A
tear came to Asuka's eye as she felt the world around her come back to
life. "Mama!!"
The sound was as if a jet engine decided to start up next to his ear.
It felt as if a wave of air and energy rushed past them all, hailed by
the rekindling sound of a hundred fighter aircraft flying so low to the
ground, the heat of their afterburners would have threatened anything
flammable.
However, there were no engines. The metallic roar became deeper,
betraying finally it's source and power, and everyone in the Geofront
turned to the sound as it focused on the middle of the lake.
They watched the sound ignite into a flaming cross a hundred feet high.
The braver of the souls cheered out. "We did it!" and "It's destroyed!"
All comments were hushed when the NERV gunboat began to rise out of the
water like some horrific magic-show gone wrong. It was being lifted.
By a very, very angry Unit-02.
For the longest heartbeat, everyone could only stare at the four glowing
eyes as they pierced the cascade of water running off the ship's bottom.
It cracked into three pieces under it's own weight, held together by the
bolts and guts inside, yet hoisted aloft like a dead animal being
presented by the beast that had slain it.
"FIRE!" The commander screamed desperately. The tanks around him erupted
in light and smoke.
The Red Beast turned it's attention to them first, and threw the carcass
of the Gunboat a thousand feet across the water.
"Oh shit..." The Commander said as a million tones of steel and
explosives impacted at his feet. The last thing he heard was not the
explosion that ended his life...rather the triumphant roar that the
Evangelion howled out, victorious.
As the explosion lit up the sky red, Asuka found herself smiling,
oblivious to the magnitude of the destruction. "Mama...You were here all
along..."
It was like waking up from a horrible dream. She could remember feeling
her mind torn apart from the Angel. The desperation of the sync tests.
The pain of explosions pelting her mind and body. The horror of knowing
she had nearly taken Shinji down the same route.
All of it didn't matter anymore. As she turned to look at the heavens,
Unit-02 did as well...it's heart now open to her again...more than it
ever had been before.
Instead of the dull hum of energy she usually felt and heard, every sense
and feeling was music! Wonderful, perfect music! Power thrumming it's
own tune through her body! The humming chorus of the Evangelion powering
up from it's long hibernation! The bubbling of the water around her
legs! The whisper of her heart being joined with one she had feared for
so long...yet desired more than anything to be close to.
The love she knew she had. From her Mother. From Shinji. From herself.
"I understand now!" she laughed, seeing the warnings of incoming weapons
fire.
She jumped. Unit-02 flew. "The meaning of the A.T. Field!" she held
onto the butterfly handles tight, yet never feared the fall. "You've
been with me all this time! Protecting me, Mama!!"
Missiles exploded against the invisible barrier, leaving laughing
whispers of clouds to interrupt her soaring jump to land. She indeed
landed, right on one of the JSDF bunkers they had been using. A wake of
metal and concrete exploded out around the Eva as it stood up from the
wreckage; it's power cable whipping around like a long dragon's tail and
slicing through tanks and troops foolish enough to challenge her.
"You've been watching over me all this time!" she whispered. "Mama..."
Two ballistics, launched from desperate aircraft who were, until then,
told to save the gigantic explosives for Unit-01, impacted right in Unit-
02's face.
Asuka was too busy smiling to flinch.
They erupted in fire, and the final wave of smoke seemed to burn away the
last of her worries. Indeed, most of the damage had been directed
towards the annoying ground troops still brave enough to stand their
ground.
"Mama!" Asuka took a wonderful, deep breath, pausing for a moment simply
to feel the wind against her body as the fire cleared. "I'm glad you've
been with me...I've wanted to make you proud!"
A loud beep signalled the internal power engaging, and that the remaining
JSDF were still not yet running. "So..." she hissed, releasing the
useless cord plug with a thought. "They think they can slow me down with
that?"
She imagined the looks on the faces of the tank commanders as she turned
to them, and began stomping forward despite them having just cut off her
power. VTOL fighters swarmed around her as they hoped to finish her off.
"Even without the cable..." she flexed her fist. "I still have a million
more times the power I need to finish you all with the A.T. FIELD!"
She leaned forward, and with pure will, the Eva swept it's arm through
the air with a mighty roar. The air itself was split as the A.T. Filed
cascaded out from her soul, ripping her attackers from the sky!
As the wave of explosions cleared, she found the next targets...more
hovering VTOL insects!
"I'm not going to surrender!" she yelled, batting one of them to the
side, grabbing it, and using it as a baseball bat on the next. "NOT TO
YOU!"
The ones not smart enough to escape were met with Asuka's foot and fist
as the Evangelion echoed her skill and thoughts. As the attack vehicles
came raining down to the forest below, exploding back up with bits and
chunks, Unit-02 raised it's head up from the destruction, growling it's
wonderful, terrible domination of the scene.
As the remaining JSDF forces scrambled away as fast as they could from
the devil, licked in the flames of their fallen comrades, Asuka took a
long, sweet breath from the fire and air around her.
"I'm back."
The command centre of NERV erupted with cheers as they watched the fires
consume their would-be invaders. The holographic screens echoed their
win over the field forces, even as their own small victory played out
below.
The JSDF forces were trying desperately to regroup after Misato's
'welcoming gift'. She was preparing another one at the moment, too. An
emergency Jerry-Can of gasoline, rigged with a small explosive trigger.
Half of the forces below had been knocked down into the pit of Central
Dogma and broke their necks for their troubles. The other half were just
trying to set up their barricade shields and secure the door instead of
pressing onwards now. "How are we doing with our guests?" she asked,
using a roll of Duct-Tape for the final assembly.
Makoto poked his head up over the edge (quite relieved not to be shot at)
and looked at her. "They're regrouping, I think. The explosion toppled
some of the walkway."
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki shook his head. "SEELE won't stand for this..."
he mumbled to himself.
Misato and Makoto both turned to him, then each other. "Dogma to
Ritsuko. Can you get an aerial scan? Our sensors are still cut." She
said into the comm..
A moment later, the clacking of keys was heard. "Roger. I'm restoring
the links to the Gregory defence grid. Should be online in five
seconds."
True to the Doctor's promise, a number of screens became active, panning
and focusing as they searched the sky with infrared.
"Misato." Asuka's voice came on the comm. for the first time in over a
week. "Is everything alright?"
Misato breathed a long sigh of relief. "We're here, Asuka. But Shinji
still hasn't launched in Unit-01, and I think there's more trouble on the
way."
"They're insane!" Makoto yelled out, honestly surprised, even though he
had a good guess what was being transported in.
Fuyutsuki smirked at the first visuals coming in past the fog and steam
of the recent battles. Nine heavy transports were flying in past the
outer reaches of Tokyo 3. Each held a small, white point of armour under
their launch bays that somehow seemed different. "They're overeating, I
think..." his eyes went wide. "They're using all the recovered S2
Engines? Are they trying to start it here?"
"Misato!" Asuka said. "Can you find Shinji?"
"Sorry, Asuka. All the sensors on that level are cut." She replied.
A pause. "How about the intercom?"
Makoto and Shigeru both did a quick check. Makoto nodded.
"Intercom is still active." Misato relayed.
Asuka smiled to herself. "Good. Turn it on to this frequency."
Misato shook her head, but then nodded to the two operators. "Okay, it's
done. But why?"
"We have incoming drops!" Shigeru shouted. "Counting...oh my god! Nine
Eva Production Models! Armed! Wait...I've never seen this modification
before!?"
The screen shifted to show gradual circle of nine white...things. At
first...they looked like huge birds...but their arms and legs gave them
away as something more sinister.
Strange, narrow faces showed off eyeless stares and wicked grins as they
circled into the Geofront's broken top. Each held a wicked, double-sword
that was heavy and thick enough to be either a shield or a weapon.
Misato began to envision the horrible things one of them could do to
Asuka's Evangelion. There was no time to transport any of her weapons
inside the Geofront.
"Asuka..." she breathed, unable to take her eyes off the surreal sight of
them descending in a circle around the lonely red Eva in the middle.
"Good..." Asuka replied with such confidence that it shook Misato and the
rest of the bridge from their horror.
In her Evangelion, she sat, eyes closed. The internal engine was cycling
on it's power, saving it until it needed it. She could imagine the
Production Series flying...still crisp in her mind. Finally, when it was
about time for them to land, she smiled.
"Now...time for my come back performance." She said, taking time to crack
her knuckles. "No..." she grinned as the first of the nine landed with a
loud THRUMP! "This will be my GREATEST performance. Shinji! Pay
attention, my wonderful baka-kun." She smiled and let the last of her
worry, hurt and pain all drain away. "This is for you."
Lesson 49: [Never abandon your study group. No matter how many different
opinions you may have...no matter how many conflicting ideas. Even if
you hate every single one of the people you have to work with. If you
leave...you all fail.]
***
The internal engine of Unit-02 powered back up to full as all nine had
finally crash landed. Not even very graceful, Asuka mused.
"Asuka...Destroy them all before your internal power runs out. No
mistakes." Misato said, revitalized by Asuka's confidence. "We're all
counting on you."
"Nine opponents in three and a half minutes." She took a deep breath then
yelled "Ihr verdammten falschen Engel!" Effortlessly, she leaned forward
and into her controls. With a resounding howl, Unit-02 sprinted forward
at the first, unsuspecting Eva Series Unit. She jumped.
And landed through it's head.
The impact caused an explosion of blood to gush everywhere, and most of
the people able to see the sight were stunned into silence.
After Unit-02 landed like a hunting spider, it turned around, picked up
the falling Evangelion, and ripped it in half over it's head.
Unit-02's paint job never looked better.
In a loud, booming voice, Asuka's voice was broadcasted over, not only
the entirety of NERV, but across the battlefield with the communications
array on Unit-02's mask. "Ich werde euch zurck in die H”lle schicken,
wo ihr hin geh”rt!"
The Eva Series apparently did not appreciate being taunted in German, and
began to advance. Asuka just smirked and tossed the broken Evangelion to
the ground.
Misato turned to Makoto. "What did she say?"
He smiled, looking up from the Magi. "She said she was going to send all
the fake angels back to hell."
"Ahh." She smiled, then turned away from the main screen as the second
Eva Series was thrown into the lake.
Shinji would have loved to focus on the distant sounds of Asuka's self-
proclaimed symphony, but the sound of the gun dropping from his hand was
all that filled his mind. Before him lay two men no longer breathing.
"What a busy day you've had, Shinji." He whispered to himself as he knelt
down to check the two. "Just yesterday, you hadn't killed anyone. Now
look at you."
When it had been Asuka on the gangway, shooting didn't even really
register in his mind. In fact, it took him a moment to realize that
these two men weren't his first kill.
Kaoru had been before. Now four men. All with just a simple handgun.
Once he got to Unit-01, how many thousands could he kill in a heartbeat?
They thing that saved his sanity at the moment was the sound of Asuka's
symphony of destruction ringing out on the loudspeakers. Most of it was
simply the sound of growling (both Asuka and Unit-02 seemed very good at
it) and the clang of metal on metal. Occasionally, Shinji heard a quick
breath, a gasp, or a yell from Asuka, but to his relief, she wasn't in
pain.
"Hold on, Asuka! I'm coming to help!" as he recognized the sound of a
battery timer counting down. She had less than two minutes before they
would rip her lifeless Eva apart.
The countdown seemed almost tangible as he began to think how long it
would take Unit-01 to launch...power up...and make it to the Geofront.
It would take more than two minutes unless Misato was ready. The sound
of his feet and heartbeat seemed only to speed up the timer.
He ran around the cage-walkway as fast as he could. The entire place
seemed three times longer than usual.
It may have been a dozen times that to his heart when he saw the first
lava-like bits of Bakelite in Unit-01's cage where only cooling fluid
should have been.
As he rounded the corner, his heart almost stopped. Only the head's horn
and the shoulder of Unit-01 was free of the hardened goo. Unit-01 was
trapped. The Entry plug would never be able to eject without a day's
worth of jackhammer work.
"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Asuka yelled over the intercom. The loud crunch of
the enemy she landed on was wonderfully sweet.
"Asuka! Hurry! Ninety Seconds!" Misato replied over the same channel.
"Plenty of time!" she grunted, and the sound of her auxiliary spike-gun
in the shoulder blade exploded trough the speakers. A loud squish
sounded as the projectiles hit another target. "Baka Shinji! Get your
ass up here!"
Shinji could only stare at the Unit-01 shape under the bakelite, frozen
as he witnessed Asuka's last minute in his mind.
The crashes and explosions above seemed like distant echoes in this
place. Whispers of a violent and unforgiving upper world. There seemed
no place for them here, in this holy place where Gendo Ikari chose to
play out his salvation. The door to his heaven.
He walked behind Rei, watching her nude form like it was art, not like it
was a young woman who was there. He had long ago forced himself to think
of Rei this way. After all, she was only a clone. Only a project. Only
a key.
The only one who could ever understand him. Who could ever withstand
him. In the end, after his wife, son, colleagues, and all the people who
were around him...he found Rei to be the only one who he never had to
think about. She was perfect. And while he would sometimes tell himself
that she was only a robot...a kind of tool to use and throw away, she was
also the only one who seemed to be like him.
Quiet. Intelligent. Passionate and sure about a life's purpose. Both
bent on only one thing: retrieving Yui. The only other. The only one
worth the struggle. The sacrifice. The pain and pleasure. Surviving
the moments where he could swear Rei had the same eyes.
Those moments hurt the most.
More than Shinji's downcast glare. More than the way Ritsuko looked at
him when he told her to leave. More than when Misato could tell his
orders would bring them all pain. More than watching fine people cower
before him. More than the way Kozo could make the room colder without a
word when he didn't approve...yet said nothing to fight it.
There were times he almost imagined Rei as Yui. Yui was always angry
with him...For all the things he did that didn't hurt as much, but he
knew would hurt her if she knew about them.
It didn't matter.
None of it mattered. He only had to be with her again and everything
would be right again.
He took the necessary three extra steps to put him in front of Rei as she
slowed down. Before him was Heaven's Door; appropriately named for it's
ultimate purpose. He raised his key card and opened it with a private
code that would make sure the mainframe could not trace the entrance.
Rei followed him inside, looking forward as she had taught herself to do
so many times in the past. Don't look at Ikari. Don't look at the thing
on the cross. No matter how much it pulls...
The d‚cor of the massive cavern hadn't changed much since last time she
had seen it. Salt-dunes rose up and stained the primer-painted walls in
the shadows. Others climbed up from the LCL ocean ahead. A small
gunboat was docked off to the side; providing defence against any human
interaction not directly ordered by the Command Centre. It was now
abandoned as the crew had been called to the battle above. They were
probably all dead now anyway.
At least they died there, and not staring at the massive, comedic figure
on the cross. Crucified and masked like the most shamed holy body in
existence.
"Rei." It whispered to her as she dared to look up. The seven eyes on
it's iron mask seemed to focus on her despite their fixed nature. She
looked over to Gendo, as if expecting him to hear the voice as well.
No, of course he didn't.
"Come home, Rei." It said, soothingly, without a voice, yet one that
seemed familiar somehow. It was more like a familiar state of mind than
a thought or a voice. Part of her mind and soul.
She strained herself to focus on her plan instead. Gendo turned just as
she looked back away. "Rei." He said, offering the path forward.
Rei continued forward slowly. He followed. "It is almost time, Rei."
"Hai." She whispered. "Today is what we've waited for."
He smiled and nodded, relishing his last walk alone, without Yui.
She had meant to say something about how these damn weapons were too
bulky and heavy, but Asuka simply screamed another battle-cry as her
stolen blade deflected another of the Eva Series' arms off. With the
extra momentum, she ploughed her fist through it's leg, finding a bone,
and crushing it under the force of her landing.
No words, only screaming. Asuka found herself deep in the heady feeling
of battle. Her blood was on fire! Her heart raced! Her mind was over-
clocked and every sense was alive. Each impact threw her world around in
grand, wide circles as Unit-02 was tossed around by either her own
actions, or the blows of her opponents.
Clumsy bastards, they were. Each of them seemed to have just enough
combat sense to get in the way at the right time. It was annoying, but
at least they lined up just in time for her to dispatch. "Three more!
One minute!" she yelled, turning around to see one of the white devils
running to pick up it's sword once again.
The last two were across the Geofront, so she lined up, spun, and threw
the massive chunk of metal in her hands right for it. The blade impacted
with deadly precision, and ripped the torso clean off the legs of the
bastard.
"Asuka! Less than one minute! Hurry!" Misato called through the
intercom.
"YYEEEEAAAH!" Unit-02 ran right for the closest of the remaining two.
With a graceless but powerful body-check, it threw the beast into a
nearby armament building. She gripped it's pug-face with her hand and
planted it through the layers of steel and concrete up to her shoulder
into the building. Blood spat out like a fine mist. "I'll definitely
win!" she growled as she turned to look at the final Eva. "Momma is with
me!"
Deep below the earth, Shinji closed his eyes. "Momma..."
Asuka twisted Unit-02 around, taking the Eva Series with her. It
exploded out from the building, still gushing blood from half it's body.
With a mighty throw, she flung it into the final Eva, knocking it's
weapon away and throwing them both off balance as it tried to catch it's
fallen brethren.
"THIS IS THE FINAL BLOW!" Unit-02 ran with thundering footsteps, bee-
lining towards the two opponents.
The one still standing tried to throw a punch at the last second, but
Unit-02 blocked, took one final step into them...and plunged it's red
fist right through both. The fist grabbed hold of the S2 Engine of the
final one, and began to squeeze. "DIE! DAMN YOU DIE!" Asuka roared as
the twenty second mark passed on her power read-out.
Lingering on, the Eva Series screamed it's bird-like expression of pain
as it's power-source was threatening to wrench free of it's spine. The
one who was impaled on Unit-02's arm simply choked on it's own bloated
grey tongue as it was gutted by the flexing armour.
"Ich bring' euch alle um!!!" She gritted her teeth, and willed Unit-02,
her mother, and herself to destroy her opponents. For some reason,
though, the bloody thing wouldn't crush.
As if to prove the fact, a small beep sounded behind her. Incoming
weapon...
She lingered only as long as she knew she could. Then, Unit-02 swept
around, ripping it's arm free of the two white Evas, and produced an A.T.
Field in front of the...
Thrown sword??
Asuka frowned past the flickering lights, and was about to drop the Field
to finish off the last two Eva Series Units...when the sword began to
change.
It twisted, as if made out of cotton, then formed two long spines at it's
front. The shape was instantly recognizable.
"The Spear of Longinus??" she blinked...then gasped as it began to slide
through the A.T. Field.
Her hands came up on reflex, but the last thing she saw was shadowy blur,
and everything turned black.
The sound of metal piercing armour was sickening. Everyone who heard it
closed their eyes, not even wanting to imagine the sight.
She opened her eyes as she heard the sounds outside. Something was
walking towards her. Her nerves were screaming. Her body was exhausted
and in pain. Asuka refused to look at the clock. She knew it read zero.
Was Unit-02 damaged? She couldn't tell. Her hackles raised on her back
as she heard the sound of one of the Eva Series still groaning. They
were alive! Still?
"Dammit!" She began to panic. Her hands found the control handles and
she tried to re-activate Unit-02. "Not now! Momma! Wake up! Momma!
MOMMA!!" The sound of clicking echoed off the plug's walls as she began
to sob. "Not now! NOT NOW! I still have to kill them! I'll kill them,
I swear! I can win! I WILL WIN! Don't let me down, Momma! Not when
we're so close!
Suddenly, she felt her world jerk forward. The walls disappeared and
showed the outside world once more as a long series of hums and beeps
announced the reactivation of Unit-02. Asuka looked down at the controls
in her hands, her mouth open in surprise.
As she looked up, the surprise only grew as she was greeted by the face
of a young boy.
"Dammit, Asuka! Didn't they tell you to wait for help?" Toji grimaced in
the little communications window. He looked like he was in pain, but
there was a smile on his face once he saw she was looking back at him.
"Toji??" Asuka blinked, looking past the window. Unit-03 was hunched
over her, with a long chunk of metal in it's arm. However, it's other
arm was around her back, holding the spare power-cable he had brought.
"What...how did you get here??"
Both Units stood up. Asuka checked her power, sighed in relief as she
saw her batteries already charging back up, and then looked around. Two
of the Eva Series were getting back up.
"Long story." Toji explained as he huffed and slowly pulled the Spear out
from his shoulder. "ARRGH! GOD DAMMIT!" he cringed, then took a couple
deep breathes. "Asuka, these things are dangerous. They slice right
through A.T. Fields. You take this one and finish off these bastards
before they all come back to life."
Unit-03 handed it's red comrade the Spear, then reached behind it's back
to pull out a regular Progressive-Blade Spear. "Toji..." She blinked,
watching the black Eva continue to gush blood from it's wound. Whatever
damage the Spear caused, the Evangelion didn't seem able to shut off the
systems around the gash.
"Dammit! Don't worry about me! You've got your chance, Red-Devil!" Toji
yelled. "Shinji is still down there, and we have to give him enough time
to save the day!" he coughed. The LCL around his head turned slightly
red before it was filtered away.
"Eeeeeaaaaarrrrrrr..." One of the Eva Series began to stir behind them.
She watched in horror as it raised it's half-destroyed form rise up from
the ground, spreading it's wings as it did. They slid out like two
gigantic knives and it stood, hunched over like a gargoyle, about to
attack it's prey.
More of them began to rise. The one who had been cut in half was now
crawling over to it's legs. Targeted by most of her spike-launching, the
one next to it began to grin an exceptionally disgusting smile, it's jaw
mangled by the series of long iron projectiles.
"This is like a bad horror movie..." she whispered to herself, but then
closed her eyes. The adrenaline took over once more, and she found
herself gripping the Lance tightly. "Very well..."
Unit-02 walked over to the Eva, who was testing it's wings, trying to get
it's shattered arm back together. The red Eva readied the spear, and
then charged. "I'LL KILL YOU AGAIN IF I HAVE TO!"
This time, it was different. It reached off to it's side, bringing forth
one of the discarded sword/shields that had been dropped during the
battle. It flew to it's grasp as if pulled by magnet. As it did, the
sword shifted and formed another Spear. Asuka's strike would have hit if
it wasn't for a copy of the spear catching her own and blocking it.
The two massive beasts growled at each other as they were deadlocked.
Drool began to excrete from the white and grey maw of Asuka's foe.
"Misato! What's going on!!" she demanded.
Toji cringed as he saw the others begin to regroup. "Asuka...we better
come up with a good plan quickly! They're all reactivating!"
He could barely focus on piloting, in fact, his mind was screaming for
him to just eject the plug and rest for a while. That was suicide, and
he knew it...but it was seeming like a wonderful idea. His entire arm
was numb, and he could barely move it without either it feeling like
rubber, or pain shooting throughout his nerves.
Asuka finally managed to step on the end of her opponent's weapon,
driving it to the ground. It lunged forward in hopes of catching her
flat-footed, but she was ready, bringing up her own Spear. The
excitement of battle returned as she watched the Eva impale itself on her
weapon. "That's more like it!" she yelled, tossing it off to the side.
The Eva Series rolled off her spear...blood gushing from it's chest.
But...then...it began to reach for it's weapon again.
"What the HELL IS GOING ON!?!" she yelled as it stood back up to face
her. This time it was joined by one of it's friends.
"Asuka! We don't know why they won't stay down! Please! Keep
fighting!" Misato replied once there was a moment to. In truth, Asuka
mused, she sounded more out of breath than she was.
"I KNOW THAT!" Asuka growled. "I'm not giving up!" she took a deep
breath. "I just wish I knew how to kill them!"
The channel crackled with static, then was replaced by a new voice.
"Aim for the core! Everything else is just meat!" came a new voice.
Both Toji and Asuka looked up from their screens in surprise to see a
large object fall into the Geofront from the destroyed outer shell.
It landed with a glorious spray of forest and soil. Two glowing eyes
announced it's presence past the shower of dirt.
A silver-coloured arm lashed out and grabbed the spear from the reach of
one of the Eva Series. It hissed it's displeasure, but was quickly
silenced as Unit-04 raised the weapon over it's head, then brought it
down into the stomach of the other Evangelion.
Everyone shielded their eyes from the resulting explosion. It threw back
most of the other Eva Series, and toppled Unit-02 and 03 to their asses.
As they shook their heads clear from the shock, both Toji and Asuka found
the helping hand of Sensei Miyazaki Kaoru to assist them to their feet.
"Sensei!?!" they both gasped.
The communications window opened up in both their cockpits, and showed a
gasping Sensei in the entry plug...and a very shaken Kaji holding on for
dear life behind the seat.
"We'll talk later." He said hoarsely, recovering from the explosion
nearly knocking him out.
Kaji looked at him as the comm. went off and Kaoru huffed, trying to
shake off the pain. "What? No snappy dialogue? What kind of surprise
entrance was that?!?" he mocked.
Kaoru glared at him. "YOU'RE the James-Bond wannabe. Now shut-up unless
you want to drive."
Kaji just laughed nonchalantly. "Oh, no....you're doing fine...I guess."
"Grr."
"WHY WON'T YOU DIE!" Asuka yelled as the sound of her throwing another
one to the ground filled the halls.
"Toji!" This time it was Kaoru's voice. "Watch your back!" Metal on
metal.
Toji seemed in pain. "I swear! I'm going to cut off my own damn ARM!
YEAAAAHHRRRG!" Luckily, this time, his cry was that for spirit, and the
sound of a wing being severed and another one of the Eva Series falling
came right after.
Shinji cringed as he heard the battle. His body was shaking, desperate
to do something.
"Momma. Is this what I'm reduced to? Nothing? Nothing useful?" he
looked up at the purple and green behemoth under the red goo. "Is Eva
all I really am?"
"Misato-san! Where the HELL is Shinji!?!" Asuka demanded, then coughed
as something hit her from behind. Static filled the channel for a
moment, then her roaring in retaliation.
Kaoru's voice came loud and clear. "Mister Ikari! You're the star of
the show! If you don't show up, this is all going to get ugly very
quickly!"
Shaking, Shinji stood. Unable to think of what else to do, he wound up
and kicked the railing. It hurt impossibly more than it should have. "I
CAN'T!" he screamed.
"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! Why can't anyone understand that!" he yelled out,
glaring at the walls as they echoed his anger. "All I do is hurt people!
All I do is fail! All I do is become a puppet for others!!"
The sounds of battle continued around him as he fell to his knees.
"FATHER! Father! Mother! You both don't know me! I want you to know!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! I want to help! I want to protect! I want
to love you both but I CAN'T WHY WON'T YOU LET ME!!!?? All you let me
do is KILL! All you let me do is watch! Watch people die! Every time I
think I have control...that I have a purpose...it's nothing more than a
JOKE!" he cried out. Tears were on his face, though only anger was in
his voice. "After all this...after all I've destroyed...after all I've
saved...I can't do ANYTHING because of a puddle of SHIT!?!" he screamed.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?"
"And the ONE time I think this might be real...I find out it's all just a
second time to fail! That I'm destined to fail! That you're all
destined to DIE! To leave me! The one time I can finally PROVE myself
to everyone...and I CAN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR!" he shook his head, then
looked up towards the battle. "SENSEI! How am I supposed to pass when I
can't even get to the exam!?! You didn't tell me that part!"
More metal on metal...more thundering explosions. The sound of blood
spraying, and the laughing hisses from the Evangelion Mass-Production
Series as they continued to strive on.
"Damn you all!" Shinji gasped, out of breath and almost on the floor,
now. "I hate this. I hate all of this. Everyone's waiting for
me...except myself. I HATE MYSELF!"
The echo of the last statement seemed impossibly clear in his mind.
"Kaoru-Sensei...Kaoru-kun...Asuka-chan..." he felt the cold metal of the
floor on his face as he curled up on it.
"I failed."
That's when Asuka got hit in the head.
Shinji's eyes went wide as he relived the sight of a torn-apart Unit-02,
dead and flesh mushroomed out of cut armour. It's eyes hanging out,
empty and rotting. Jaw was extended in a painful smile, like a skeleton
laughing at it's own demise.
And her scream...this time...it was real.
It pierced his heart and soul like a raw, cold knife. The sounds of the
others screaming out in horror, rushing over to help. Asuka's continuing
struggle against the pain. She yelled out as the spear was freed from
her Eva's head, but was still panting, just barely holding onto
consciousness.
It didn't matter.
None of it mattered.
He didn't know how it would happen...or why...or how he would help with
so many of those vicious bastards.
It didn't matter.
Shinji stood, held onto the railing, and screamed out the order.
"MOVE!"
Rei looked up as the rumbling began. "Ikari-kun..."
Gendo looked to the invisible sky somewhere thousands of feet above.
"Unit-01 is moving. It has begun."
The remaining JSDF forces, humbled and retreating all stopped when they
heard the scream. Everyone in Terminal Dogma cringed at the light that
was flooding in through their monitors. Though they were deep beneath
the explosion and Geofront surface, the sheer power was felt even there.
A huge cross of light exploded from the top of NERV HQ. With it, the
echoing anger of Unit-01 screamed and filled the air with the sound of
hell opening up to consume them all.
Unit-02, while damaged, and it's pilot in pain, was still with awe as
Asuka watched, ignoring the specks of blood in her vision from her
forehead bleeding. Unit-03 and 04 simply tried to shield her from the
blast...but their pilots all gazed with wide-eyes at the sight.
It was like a demon and angel combined. Furious in it's anger and
roaring with strength...yet glorious and terrible in the sheer power of
it's being. Strange, wing like shapes began to grow from the cross as it
faded and returned to Unit-01's emerging form as the scream turned into
something more animal than mechanical. The top of NERV HQ now only a
shattered egg from the Evangelion's rebirth.
Asuka raised her arm...terrified and overwhelmed with joy at the same
instant. "Shinji-kun..."
Shinji's eyes scanned the field before him. Close to him were his
friends. Asuka...Asuka lay on the ground, blood seeping from her Eva's
head. A glancing blow...Asuka's piloting skill had saved her eye and
brain...but the Spears were powerful enough that every hit was serious.
It didn't anger him any more than he was already. A small bit of relief
filled his heart as he saw it was not as bad as he had imagined it.
But it had not been just his imagination.
Those responsible for the past...and the ones who would try to recreate
it...were scattered among the field. Horrible white Evas, bloodied and
broken, yet all smiling the same god-forsaken smile. They seemed to turn
their heads towards him at the same time...eager for more pain.
The low, angry electrical hum filled his ears as Shinji willed Unit-01 to
land on the ground. Long, glowing orange whisks of energy formed his
wings where the Eva Series had memory plastics and metal. As it landed,
the air was filled with cloud and debris from the rebirth. It spun
around Unit-01 like a hurricane bending to it's will.
Shinji flexed his hand. Without a word, Unit-01 leapt at the closest Eva
Series Unit. It hadn't the time to prepare it's weapon, when Unit-01
landed with it's hands gripping it's S2 Core and crushing it. The
momentum of the jump left the wings of Unit-01 flying, curling around
it's prey like a vampire's cloak as it feasted.
The explosion that followed seemed unspectacular compared to the
Evangelion standing in the middle, completely unscathed. It bellowed out
a roar that would put the Devil himself to shame.
Then...it turned it's livid eyes to the next one.
"Two down, seven more to go." Shinji's voice came through the comm..
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's end this now."
The twelve black monoliths sat together in a circle, continuing their
ritual.
"Eva has returned to us." SEELE 04 said. "That which Ikari denied from
us will be accomplished with our own creation."
"Unit-04 is a surprise, but not a impediment. All things are in place.
Additional pieces to the machine only strengthen the act of our
ascension!" SEELE 12 said.
"Two of the Nine have already been destroyed..." SEELE 04 worried out
loud.
"We can proceed with even one left. The Nine are only a catalyst for our
glorious plan!" 12 stated again.
SEELE 01's voice seemed more amused than worried. "No treachery from
Ikari will stop us now. No matter how they fight it, we are on our path.
Let us begin the final stages of the ritual."
As one, they spoke aloud:
"Eva has found a soul in the end. We pray for our spirits to re-centre!
What was once One will be so again, once the seal is broken."
Keel's Monolith faded away. There was no use for it any more.
Alone, he added with a shaking, joyful voice. "At last our souls will be
at ease."
"Sensei! Behind you!" Shinji's voice yelled over the comm.. Kaoru
caught the blade intended for Unit-04's head with just a second to spare.
The metal spear seemed to burn his hands as he held onto the butterfly
handles, but eventually, the feeling passed as he threw it away.
Kaji watched the whole thing, stunned, and trying not to get knocked
unconscious as the Eva was rocked back and forth. "This is insane!" he
breathed out. "What are they?"
Kaoru was focused just on staying alive, and making sure his students
would do the same. The LCL was beginning to smell of his perspiration
and effort, but he never lost sync. "They're tools...just like how this
Eva is. Tools made by very bad men."
Asuka's red Eva charged past him, picking up one of the spears that were
being used whenever they could. The Eva Series kept retrieving them the
moment they were free from anyone's hands. They were brutal weapons.
Unit-02 had massacred the whole lot of them with it's Prog Knife and
other equipment before...but the spears left terrible wounds where before
had just been cuts and crushed flesh. LCL dripped out of most of the Eva
Series, who were using their superior numbers to make it hard for precise
attacks to their cores in the confusion.
Toji had been hit again, this time a slash across the front. The pain
was too much for him to continue being active in the fighting, but he had
found his machine gun to be quite effective against the Eva Series when
they tried to take flight.
"Shinji! You have to calm down!" Kaoru ordered as he watched the
fighting progress. "You're going past the limits of Unit-01's bindings!"
Shinji ignored him, and instead, responded by tearing up the earth as he
slid to a stop with the head of one of the Series Units in his Eva's
grasp. Asuka had been waiting for it, and used a salvaged spear to
finish it off. Unit-01's wings seemed to wrap around Unit-02
protectively as the forth explosion made the odds more favourable.
Kaji leaned forward in the moment of pause as the monsters all regrouped
to their separate teams. "What the hell are you doing? Shinji's our
only hope right now! He's fighting like a demon!"
Kaoru closed his eyes. "Unit-01 is the key to the whole thing. If
something goes wrong, we're going to be in the middle of the Third Impact
and it all happens over again."
The spy sighed and shook his head. "The old men must be pleased."
"I'm sure they are. AAAAAHHHH!" he yelled, causing Unit-04 to rush
forward, delivering a rather impressive punch into the head of the
nearest white Evangelion.
Kaji just sighed and cringed as he imagined the feeling of all the gore
on his skin. "Well, I have to admit...you're not a boring person."
"Shut up and hold on!" Kaoru demanded, then caused Unit-04 to jump a few
hundred feet into the air, missing the attacks of two of the Series and
wrestling one of them who was taking flight back to the ground in a
shower of soil once more.
Toji smiled on the comm.. "Hey! Sensei! How come we didn't learn that
move in class?"
"Not enough funding." Kaoru smiled, taking a moment to re-adjust his
glasses. Unit-04 copied the movement in response.
"Quit goofing around, you two!" Misato demanded as she watched, helpless
from the command centre. "Toji, circle around to the west wall. We have
another catapult working. I'm sending you a spare cable and some
weapons."
"Roger!" Toji grunted as he forced his hurting Eva to get up and move
while he had a chance to.
The inside of the Geofront now looked like an inverted golf-ball with
over a dozen craters of various sizes. Everything was charred and
blackened. Only the ruined grey and silver metal pyramid showed the
area's previous state. The Evangelions looked as if they were running
and fighting in black snow, causing huge rooster-tails to spray up as
they slid into each other or down into the holes. Only a handful of the
most sturdy structures and JSDF forces remained.
Misato took great pleasure in seeing they were hiding behind their tanks,
peering out with their binoculars, and helpless to change anything.
"Makoto! Any chance on getting a bank of anti-ground missiles active?"
she grinned.
"Sorry, Misato, they're all off line." He replied with a chuckle.
Shigeru turned to the Sub Commander. "It looks like we can withstand the
power systems indefinitely. We've won so long as the kids don't get
cocky."
The grey-haired man watched the battle with a grim face. "No. They're
just wearing us down. The Eva Series isn't worried about winning the
battle."
Misato turned to him and nodded. She had suspected it when Asuka
defeated them all the first round so easily. Her skill was unmatched,
but it had been much too easy to beat down.
They had known she only had a few minutes of power. The Eva Series let
her waste her battery, knowing that no matter how much damage she did,
they would finish the fight.
"Now they'll just wait for him to slip up." Misato whispered, turning
back to the screen. "Shinji-kun." She announced. "They'll be waiting
for you to mess up. You're doing fine...just please...be careful."
Shinji didn't answer, instead, he turned briefly to the screen and
nodded. His face was blank except for the obvious strain of the battle.
The display went blank as the pilot focused on piloting.
Misato sighed and smiled to herself. "He's learning. I'm glad."
Standing before Lilith was never an easy thing for him to do anymore.
The image of the massive thing was forever burned into his mind...but it
was not being disturbed or a lack thereof that made it hard to stand
here.
His hand.
On his hand was another key to his plan. Rei watched with idle eyes as
he removed the glove that hid Adam from the world. Adam would never join
with Lilith without transportation. "It is time, Rei." He said quietly.
"Open up your mind and soul. Release the A.T. Field that traps you in
this body."
Rei closed her eyes as Gendo reached for her chest. The strange feeling
of the embryo like object touched her skin...impossibly cold. She
cringed as it tried to melt inside her. Indeed, it began to. The sound
of wet flesh parting was foremost in her mind.
A new voice, this time.
"Let me in..."
It was rushed. Weak. As if it knew it's only chance was through this
vessel. Rei saw a strange, glowing reverse-shadow in her mind. The
fading outline of something that once held the power of the heavens
inside itself.
"No." Rei replied.
"It must be so." The voice continued. "This is your purpose. You are
part of the Mother. I must return to her!"
"No." Rei replied to the voice. The shadow seemed to fade a bit more.
"I have changed my purpose."
Gendo pressed into Rei a bit further. His hand was now almost completely
enveloped by her chest. Rei stayed still, allowing the act...but he felt
a strange cold as Adam was almost completely inside her.
He stopped.
Rei's eyes opened in surprise. She saw the commander looking at
her...questioning. Wondering what was going on...
Her eyes betrayed her plan. They showed anger towards the man for the
first time he had ever seen. As if Yui was peering out of them, glaring
through his heart and soul.
She used the moment of confusion to reach up to his shoulder, intent on
finishing the act. "I am not your doll." She whispered.
His eyes went wide, and at the last second, he ripped his hand free of
Rei's body. Both of them cried out in pain from the sudden action. Rei
fell to her knees, holding her chest. Gendo stumbled back a few steps
before falling onto his back. "Rei! What are you doing?"
She looked up with the same eyes. Her anger was not going away. "I'm
taking away your control." Rei said simply. "You no longer have a vessel
to command this foolish plan." She stood, regaining her strength. "I
will not be your puppet, nor the strings you use."
His eyes flashed their understanding behind his glasses. His face still
showed surprise, yet he was now calm. "Rei...you planned on this?"
"For a very long time." Rei replied. She took a threatening step
forward, as if she could yank Adam out of Gendo's body by sheer will. It
would be impossible now...but at least he would not be able to go through
with his plans. "If I must fight you, I will."
Gendo took a moment to recompose himself, then stood back up to his full
height. "Why are you doing this, Rei." He said, not really expecting an
answer. "You were born for this reason. We both wanted this. To
return." He raised his bare hand...still pulsing with the malformed
fetus...and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "What are you doing this
for? Who are you doing this for?" he smirked. "Shinji?"
"No." Rei said, looking right at the man. Her eyes seemed razor sharp.
"I'm doing it for me."
Gendo frowned, then reached into his pocket. "Very well. I have no use
for spoiled children." The sights of his gun lined up on her forehead.
Rei frowned back. "Nor do I."
She raised her hand over her head. It was the exact same arc that Gendo
flew when the A.T. Field lifted him off the ground and threw him into the
air.
Unit-01 was a whirlwind.
It fought with fearsome determination that few had seen before. Shinji
had cut off all contact with the group, and nobody complained, thinking
it was because he needed to focus. Nothing could have been farther from
the truth.
His mind was calm. Shinji watched the battle as if in a dream, floating
besides his body as it strained and yelled and gripped the controls. He
watched himself get tossed around like a rag doll at times...then
retaliate with a soaring jump either over or through an enemy.
Somewhere, very close, was his Mother. He felt that...if he would just
turn around and look, she would be there. A hand on his shoulder,
watching the destruction as it happened.
"Mother...is this what I am?" he whispered to himself as one of the Eva
Series lost it's other arm to Unit-01's strength. Blood bathed the walls
of the entry plug for what seemed like minutes at a time. The battle was
much faster than that, but it seemed so slow in this place. In his mind.
"Am I like Eva? Useless, until I'm needed? Until my friends need me?
Until Asuka needs me? And then...only needed to kill?" he smiled weakly.
"Are you like this? If so...what a mother and son pair we must be."
Unit-01 took the neck of the enemy in it's hands and leapt into the
crater, using the white Eva as a sled down to the bottom.
"I don't want to live like this." He whispered. "This isn't how anyone
should live. I don't want to be dead...then killing...with nothing in
the middle. I want to have a real life."
Unit-01 took out it's Prog Knife for the first time that battle. He
hadn't even really needed it, but it felt satisfying to be able to gut
the monster beneath him.
"I was ready to die...then Asuka needed my help. So I am here." He shook
his head. "I should be happy she's okay. I want to save her. But..."
The knife pried off the last bit of armour on the Eva's stomach, then
sunk inside the red, bloody orb with a loud crack!
"But...I know it's because I'm too weak to do anything else. Because I
would rather live these few minutes in pain and violence than have to
learn how to live like I want to." He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm
pathetic."
The white Eva roared out as the knife worked it's way in deeper.
"I don't want to be...but every time I think I can change, Eva pulls me
back. Or something pulls me back." He whispered. "It is all bad comedy.
Every time I think I can just go home and live...that happiness seems
harder to return to when it all falls apart."
The bright white explosion filled the cockpit, and he watched his body
shield his eyes, then relax for a moment, gasping from the effort.
"I don't know what to do." He said out loud. His body said it too. "I
don't know how to pass this test. I just don't know the answer."
The smoke began to clear, but it wasn't in time for him to see another of
the white devils descending upon him like a bird, using it's wings to
gain enough momentum to topple him over.
"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled as she watched two more of the bird-things leap
into the crater after him. Unit-04 and 02 rushed forward as 03 stopped
the others from interfering with the rescue effort.
Toji shook his head, watching them run. "This isn't good...I knew I
should have stayed in bed today." He sighed, then forced Unit-03 to
stand.
Misato saw this. "Toji! What are you doing?"
"If I don't help, we're all screwed. What's a bit of pain right now,
anyway? Just make sure you save us some booze for when we get home,
okay, Major?" he smiled, then steeled himself for the re-use of his leg.
"I'm turning down my sync buffer by ten percent so I don't black out.
Any objections?"
Misato turned away from the screen, then nodded. "We'll keep an eye on
it. You should still have enough control."
He opened up a small cover on the controls in front of him, exposing a
manual slide-control. With a deep breath, he slid the indicator down
about an inch. The world began to flicker a bit around him, and Unit-03
began to slump a bit. "Come on..." he cringed, focusing himself. Sure
enough, the world became focused around him once more, and the pain in
his shoulder and leg seemed simply real...instead of amplified. "Much
better." He sighed, then smiled, grabbing his own Prog Knife. It was a
copy of Asuka's. He extended the blade to about fore-arm length and
found his first target.
Unit-03 leapt up in the air just in time to let one of the Eva Series fly
under it. Then, it landed on the Eva's back. Toji grinned as the
surprised bastard beneath him turned to look behind itself...and lost
it's head to a quick slash.
The tumble and landing wasn't nearly as graceful as he had hoped, but at
least he didn't black out.
The three got to the crater's edge in time to see Unit-01 rip the core
out of one of it's attackers. LCL and blood gushed from a lucky wound on
it's side, but it didn't seem to slow Shinji down. The explosion from
the Eva Series' final death throws rocked them all off their feet.
A loud, wolf-like howl sounded out as the smoke cleared. One of the two
remaining Units was on Shinji's back, clawing and biting in a frantic
attempt to do physical damage to him. The other was a bit further up on
the edge of the sunken earth, and prepared it's Spear for an easy kill.
Asuka gasped as she saw what was about to happen. Shinji was trapped
between the two, and was too busy worrying about the one on his back to
realize it was just a diversion. "SHINJI! HOLD ON!" she leaned forward
on her controls.
At the last second before she jumped, Unit-04 grabbed her power-cable and
hauled her off her feet. She landed painfully on her back, gasping for
air as she found herself winded.
"Sorry, Miss Langley!" came Kaoru's face in the display as the silver Eva
jumped in. "Teachers are responsible for student's safety! I've got
this one."
She yelled out in anger, but he cut off the channel before she could say
anything else. "Sensei-baka..." Asuka coughed.
Unit-04 ran into the crater at top speed. Kaji began to yell. "Oh SHIT!
OH SHIT!"
"Get ready!" Kaoru yelled back.
"For what???!!!" Kaji yelled.
Kaoru braced himself and flicked the cover of a switch open on the
butterfly handles. "This is going to hurt."
"Fuck." Kaji said, holding onto the back of the seat for dear life.
Unit-04 was too far away from the Eva Series with the Spear, so it dove
right for Shinji. It's knees found the back of it's target, causing
Unit-01 to fall flat on it's face, and throwing Unit-04 and the Eva
Series Unit forward, right into the path of the spear thrown by the
other.
Kaoru-Sensei smiled as he watched the grey spear streak towards them.
The white monster in front wouldn't offer enough of a shield to protect
their own Eva, though, and it was heading right for their chests.
Kaji prepared himself for intense trauma.
BEEEP!
All of a sudden, the walls turned gunmetal grey, the sounds of power
stopped, and the feeling of their heads being pushed into their feet was
the foremost curiosity on Kaji's mind.
Somewhere during the explosion of the white Evangelion (or maybe Unit-04
as well) Kaji realized the Entry Plug had been ejected. "You REALLY are
insane...you know that right?" he gasped as they were thrown thousands of
feet in the air by rocket motors and the shockwave.
"We could have stayed and felt what it's like to have our hearts cut out
if you would have preferred." Kaoru turned to chuckle as the sound of a
parachute opening up overhead announced their decent with a sudden jolt.
"If it wasn't for your damn logic, I'd get along with teachers just
fine." Kaji grumbled.
"If it wasn't for logic, we'd be out of a job." He raised his eyebrow.
"Except for Gym-Teachers. They're just spooky."
The plug impacted into the earth quite hard, but it was most certainly
better than feeling a lance through the heart.
A hurricane of dirt and bits of white and red finally subdued. Asuka was
instantly relieved to see Unit-01 had not been the source of the
explosion. Unit-04 lay impaled on the weapon it had saved Shinji from,
but her heart warmed to see that the plug had ejected in time. Kaoru-
Sensei and Kaji-sama would be okay!
But something was wrong.
Unit-01's back was bare. The Entry Plug assembly was all that was left
of the shoulder bindings.
It lifted itself up...but then began to shake violently. Like coiled
springs being released, long strips of armour began to peel off Unit-01's
back and arms. The wicked energy wings began to grow and expand.
"Asuka! Get back!" Toji yelled as Unit-01 began to rise up on it's own
wings.
Asuka just watched as the ribbons of energy whipped out and formed
another long tail-like fin to compliment the wings on it's back. "Oh my
god...Shinji..." she whispered. "Are you still in control of it?"
The remaining Eva Series, battered, headless, chopped into pieces, yet
still four strong, all began to grin once more.
Toji noticed it first...something on his long range scanners. Unti-03
had been equipped with more scanning and fire-control systems than the
previous models...and one of those features gave him readings as far out
as from lunar orbit.
He turned towards the sky as the beeping began. "Misato! Misato-san!
Come in! I'm getting some kind of reading from orbit!"
There was still a great deal of interference from the last Eva's
explosion, but he was almost sure he made out the phrase "Original
Spear?"
His eyes went wide. "Oh shit..."
The final remnants of Unit-01's armour broke free as the muscles and
flesh of the Eva expanded to their full, horrific glory. It's teeth were
barred through it's mask and it's eyes seemed wild and vicious. Asuka
watched as the purple and green monster rose above her head. "Shinji..."
Inside, Shinji was fighting just to stay conscious. He held is head in
his hands, yelling as the voices and thoughts flooded his brain.
Completely unfiltered, Unit-01 tried to embrace it's pilot. "NO! NO!
STOP! STOP IT NOW!" he yelled.
But it was too late.
A bright speck on the horizon was now visible as Toji's observation came
into range. They all watched, helpless as the original Spear of Longinus
covered a hundred miles in the blink of an eye, and slid into place right
before Unit-01's neck. The pin-point tip stopped only a foot away from
ripping out the beast's throat.
Throughout the Geofront, there was a sudden hum. A low, powerful sound
that seemed to be coming from everywhere, and yet, focused on the Spear
and the Evangelion it held captive.
Toji and Asuka watched, helpless, as the remaining four white Evangelions
took to the sky to perform their ultimate purpose. Kaji and Kaoru
watched from the edge of the shell.
"Well..." Kaji sighed, slumping over the door of the Entry Plug. "That
didn't last long. I was kind of hoping I'd live to at least fifty. You
know...that way I could have been the veteran spy. The one the girls
love. Sean Connery style."
Kaoru shook his head and pushed Kaji back into the plug.
"Hey! What are you dong?! If I'm going to die, I want to watch the
show!" Kaji protested.
"Trust me, you'll get quite a show. At least this way, you have a
chance." Kaoru said quickly. "Now, listen, the Third Impact is going to
happen unless something drastic happens or Shinji learns all the secrets
to life that nobody knows within the next minute. I'm hoping for either,
but I know that I might be able to do something about the first option."
Kaji looked at the Sensei and saw no sign he wasn't completely serious.
He was determined and looked like he was ready to do anything to save
them.
"You love your parents that much, do you?" Kaji smiled.
The teacher blinked, then smiled. "Actually...they're my grandparents."
Kaji shook his head. "Well, good thing I didn't bet money on that one."
He laughed.
Kaoru looked away for a moment, but then nodded. "I don't matter. If we
can stop this from happening, I won't even be here. I'll have a better
life." He smiled and took off his glasses.
Kaji mused he could see both Shinji and Asuka in them. Innocent and
reflective, yet passionate and powerful. The best from both of them.
"And, if not, then at least I never gave up." He swallowed hard. "I
promised my grandfather I'd never run away. I now know why it meant so
much to him."
Kaji found himself wishing he hadn't yelled at the man so much.
"Uhm...well...I..." he smiled and then leaned up to grab the hatch. "I'm
sorry I tried to kill you."
Kaoru laughed out, relieved. "Thanks. I'm sorry I got you deeper into
all this than you needed to be." He blinked. "Oh, and can you do me one
last favour?"
"Of course!"
"Take care of Pen-Pen for me." Kaoru smiled. "Both of them. I owe them
both a lot."
He shook his head, confused, but just laughed. "I will." Kaji said,
then let out a long sigh. As he sealed the hatch, he bowed his head.
"Good luck."
"You too." Kaoru said, helping him secure the door.
Ritsuko looked away, unable to watch anymore. "It's happening again."
Maya ignored her previous resolution to keep a bit of space between them
and leaned over the laptop. What she saw was a pair of digital readouts
flying through data. One was recorded, the other was live.
"Sempai...?"
"They're almost exactly the same." She whispered, looking up at the
heavens. "The bastard got his wish. He's probably down there right now
with Rei..."
Maya noticed the date and her eyes went wide. "The conditions are
scaling towards the Second Impact!" she gasped. "Wait, the S2 Engines
are going backwards cycle!"
Ritsuko looked down at the laptop with a small grin. "Well, I suppose
now we'll see if an anti-A.T. Field is possible. I always thought it
was. Might be interesting."
"Interesting?" Maya gasped. "Sempai! This is the Third Impact!"
The sounds from the bridge echoed their thoughts as Misato and the bridge
officers desperately searched for a way to prevent what was happening.
"Unit-01 has already climbed out of the Geofront." Ritsuko said quietly.
"We can't do anything now except hope Shinji can stop it. His sync-graph
is completely haywire...but I suppose it's possible."
Maya took the laptop away from the Doctor and started typing furiously.
Finally, though, when she saw that Ritsuko had been telling the truth,
she slumped over the tiny screen. "We're going to die..." she whispered.
"The Geofront can withstand the shockwave, Maya." Ritsuko said. "We'll
survive. But as for what Lilith or Adam or, god forbid, Rei and Gendo
have planned...we may not have any say in preventing."
Maya just watched in horror as the numbers on the screen began to
accelerate faster and faster.
"Misato! Come in, Misato!" Asuka kept trying. The static was only
getting worse. Whatever was happening with Shinji was powerful enough to
degrade her communications array. "Dammit! Toji! Any luck?"
Toji shook his head. Even the image between the two was breaking up
despite the fact they were almost shoulder-width apart from each other.
"Nothing. I don't think we're going to get a particle cannon in time,
Asuka. The JSDF was swarming all over the heavy weapons lockers."
"Shit." She hissed, holding her forehead with her hand. Before, when an
injury occurred in Eva, it hurt real enough, but there was only the pain
of the skin or bones being broken. Never like this. It felt like the
wound was burrowing deeper inside her head. All from a simple scratch.
Unit-02 had lost a bit of armour on it's face and blood was slowly
escaping, but the wound had been only three feet deep. "Now what?"
"I don't know." Toji said with a sigh. "We can try another lance, but
they don't seem to be working anymore."
Both Asuka and Toji had tried to launch one of the spears each, but they
bounced off of an invisible shell around Unit-01 and the four Eva Series.
They had each taken up a polar point around Shinji, and were glowing in a
strange, shimmering light.
As if to answer, Asuka saw Sensei Kaoru running towards them. The man
seemed no bigger than an ant, yet he was leaping and running over the
chunks of rubble in his way like it was nothing. As soon as he was in
range, he began to flag them away. Asuka trained her sensors on him. It
was hard to make out what he was saying over the howling wind that was
occurring, but finally, the computer replied with: "Move away from the
crater!"
Toji caught it too, and both of them took a few giant steps back. Kaoru
walked over to where he could see Unit-04's broken remains and closed his
eyes.
"What's he doing?" Toji blinked.
Asuka watched him for a few heartbeats. "He's trying to re-sync with the
Eva..."
Toji nodded...then gasped. "But the Spear!"
There was a low rumble as Unit-04 reactivated...promptly followed by a
horrible howl. Both Children watched, alarmed as Sensei Kaoru promptly
fell to his knees, clutching his chest with ragged breathes.
"Sensei! Don't! You'll be killed!" Toji yelled, hoping his voice got
through the static.
Kaoru, now partially synced, was able to use Unit-04's communications
array again. His voice appeared on a black screen with yellow letters
reading "NO ENTRY PLUG!" across it's width. "Asuka! Toji! Both of you!
You have to get to the edge of the Geofront!"
Asuka was shaking with the surges of worry and adrenalin coursing through
her veins and crashing against the pain in her mind. "No! Sensei! Un-
Sync right now or the spear will kill you!"
"It doesn't matter!" Kaoru yelled back. "Please! Grandmother! Listen
to me just this once!"
Asuka wasn't sure if she turned bright red or not...but she shut the hell
up in a hurry. Toji's mouth was wide-open for her. "GRANDMOTHER?" he
laughed. "Wow! You and Shinji sure work fast, Asuka!"
"G...Gr...Grandmother??" Asuka gasped. "W...wait just a second here!
That isn't even poss..."
"Please...just trust me on this, Asuka."
"But...!" Asuka wished she hadn't been blushing so much. "You...You
can't be..."
Kaoru interrupted her confusion. "Unless Shinji stops it, the Third
Impact is about to happen. I'm going to use Unit-04 as a shield around
it." He continued over the howling wind.
"Since when can an A.T. Field bend around?" Asuka argued. "You'll only
be able to protect against one side!"
His smile was almost audible. "Since you taught me, Asuka."
She grumbled, resuming her blush. "Damn disrespectful grandchild!"
Unit-04 knelt up and began to pull out the weapon in it's chest. Kaoru
strained to remain conscious, and it was clear the pain was weakening him
when he could barely even lift his arms to act what he wanted done.
However, after a long couple of metres, the spike was free, and Unit-04
began to climb out of the hole, trailing blood as it did.
Toji turned to Asuka as they watched. "Asuka! Should we get back?"
Asuka closed her eyes for a moment, then shook her head. "No! Sensei!
Unit-04 has no Entry Plug! Even if you contain the blast, you'll get
killed by the shockwave!!"
"That doesn't matter, Grandmother!" Kaoru replied with a grunt as the
first black hand of the Evangelion he controlled reached the surface.
Unit-03 promptly helped him up.
"Yes it does, you insolent child!" Asuka boomed. "If you die, who will
generate the A.T. Field?"
Kaoru cursed under his breath, but Asuka made out: "Damn old woman..." to
her satisfaction. Maybe being a grandma wouldn't be all bad.
"Toji!" Unit-02 turned to it's black counterpart. "Take up position on
the far side of the crater. Make sure Shinji's in the centre. No
mistakes!"
Toji smiled and bowed his head. Unit-03 took off around the edge of the
crater.
"Kaoru! Stay here! Position Unit-04 as close to us as you can manage.
Use the ranged scope to make sure Unit-01 is between us all. You'll have
to show us how to make a cylinder with the fields."
After a pause, he nodded. "Agreed. It's simple...I'll form the outline,
you two just concentrate on it."
All three Evas moved into a triangle pattern a few hundred feet apart.
Several miles above them, the glow from the Evangelion Series intensified
and a strange blue light begun to fill the air.
"Shinji-kun..." Asuka whispered as she felt her A.T. Field extend out and
around to the others. "Momma helped me, and now, I want her to give you
strength. We're ready to help. Please...do what's right. We'll be
together soon. It doesn't matter how or where. I'll be with you."
Toji turned up his sync buffer to full again. The pain was horrible, but
he mused Shinji was probably feeling a lot worse. "Shinji! Don't you
dare goof up now! You have grandkids to help make! If that isn't
something to live for, I don't know what is!"
Kaoru closed his eyes. Tears were welling up under the sheer stress of
the pain and trying to maintain the field. His entire body threatened to
shut down at a moment's notice, but he knew he wouldn't. "Shinji-sama.
When father betrayed us...you took me in as your own son. I envied your
power...your wisdom...and I respected you as a person and as my friend.
Please...let me thank you by doing this." He looked up at the bright blue
pinprick in the sky. "You've already passed the test. Just do what you
have to do."
Unit-04 stood over him like a guardian, despite it's broken front and
mangled face. It looked proud to be there today.
All three Evangelions lit up as their souls combined into a shield
stronger than any metal, more powerful than any bomb...and brighter than
any star.
It leapt up to surround Shinji at the last moment. Unit-01 and it's
pilot were almost dormant to the outside world, and yet, were the cause
of the energy about to be released.
The hum elevated into a tight beam of sound that lit the air and earth on
fire. With one final explosion of power, the four Eva Series threw their
lethal energies into the mix, and the Spear of Longinus turned white hot,
amplifying the power to unearthly levels.
Shinji opened his eyes just in time to see the explosion happen right on
top of his three friends, and unable to do anything about it, he screamed
out in pain.
The staff at Head Quarters watched in awe as pure blue light fell down
from the sky in a perfect, round shaft. It ripped up the earth and
exploded downwards towards the Earth's core, as the pillar leapt upwards
at amazing speeds.
An earthquake hit them. The power was unlike any of them had felt
before...equalled, but never surpassed, despite the explosions and close
calls of the past.
Misato watched, completely frozen, as she relived the first terrifying
moments of the Second Impact...and suddenly thought of them as nothing
spectacular. Her hand held the metal cross on her chest with frightening
strength. "Oh my god..." she whispered.
The phrase was uttered by several in that moment, but none could break
from the terrible booming explosion that cascaded around them all and
brought their ears and minds almost to the snapping point.
Red began to flicker along the walls as display after display showed
warning and danger signs. Damage reports and haywire readouts were
already being spewed forth.
Oddly enough, Fuyutsuki was perfectly calm. He watched the beautiful
shape explode out into the sky...seeing the white and blue energies and
gasses try to break their Evangelion-made prison...but never succeeding.
All three pilots had poured their entire souls into this one act, hoping
it would make a difference.
An earthquake would circle the globe and deliver death to millions,
destruction to billions. Tidal waves would rush forth and devour
unprepared cities. The East Coast of America and Canada would be
decimated by the force of a hundred hurricanes as the shockwave passed
straight through the Earth's core and continued to the other side. New
York and Nova Scotia would most likely become new volcanic islands. A
hundred more volcanoes would voice their displeasure with molten rock,
and ash would fill the sky for days as cities burned and fires consumed
the land.
But after it was all done...
They would still have a home.
"Shockwave dissipating! Resetting all sensors!" Makoto yelled out as the
light began to flicker like a dying florescent bulb. "Sir! It's over!"
The Sub-Commander breathed a small sigh of relief. "We survived the
Impact. We may not have survived the day, however. Lilith will still
have her say in the matter."
His words of worry had little effect on the bridge as they all cheered.
Misato laughed out loud and hugged Makoto tightly, who was more than
happy to return the embrace. Not even skipping a beat, they both latched
onto Shigeru and pulled him into the hug.
The old man smiled as he watched them celebrate. "Yui...I wish you were
here to see them. They're such good people. I'm glad they're part of
this."
Breaking up to return to their tasks, Misato found the external sensors
were still resetting. "Dogma to Ritsuko! Come in! Are you two okay in
there?"
There was a static-filled pause, but finally, Ritsuko answered. "Yes!
We're fine! The Magi seemed to have survived unscathed. Sensors will be
up in a few seconds!"
Under the machinery, Ritsuko smiled over to Maya, turning off the comm..
"Maya, it's your fault, you know."
Her young friend blushed terribly and bowed her head. "Gomen, Sempai! I
didn't mean to!"
"Like I said before, optimism is catchy." Ritsuko laughed, then leaned
over. Before Maya could worry about if it was okay or not, she pulled
her into a warm hug. "Thank you."
Maya was close to tears from the sudden rebound of fear turning into joy,
but returned the embrace with every bit of strength she had left.
"Sempai! We did it!"
Outside, the screens finally flickered back to life. The ravaged
Geofront had been re-designed once again. This time, instead of pockmark
craters everywhere, the entire sphere was missing several tones of soil.
For a hundred more feet, all the soil had been removed to the edge of the
field. A barren bowl of dust.
In the epicentre, there was a smoking hole that drilled too far down to
tell. At first, Misato feared the worse and ordered scanners to focus as
quickly as they could.
The screens lit up with the hazy image of Unit-02 and 03 kneeling down
next to a fallen Unit-04. Their armour was melted in horrible blobs and
scars. Despite the explosion and the energy released, they had survived.
Mostly.
The cheers and joy faded to absolute silence as they realized Unit-04 was
completely inactive. The Entry plugs of Asuka and Toji had already been
ejected, and both Children were running over to where Kaoru had last
been.
"Oh no..." the Major whispered.
The bridge crew watched silently as the two Children, who looked barely
alive themselves, hunted the dirt frantically for their teacher. They
found him just behind Unit-04's charred and melted leg. Misato didn't
have to look at the readout to know he was close to death.
"Send a rescue team. Now." She demanded.
Makoto hurried to find a team available. Most were trying to save lives
throughout the base, or had been killed in the JSDF attack. After a few
angry calls from paramedics, he looked up at her and shook his head.
"Misato...there's nobody..."
Shigeru sighed and looked up at them. "Unit-01 is still climbing,
Misato. It's not safe to send anyone out there. If it happens again..."
"I know." Misato said stiffly.
Damn you, Ikari. For all of this.
Lesson 50: [Imagine the surprise and joy felt universally by students in
college who are suddenly told to forget everything they have learned up
until then. That they should ignore the old ways. The old methods.
They were the ways for Children to learn. It was with the first
introduction speeches by the dean and the teachers that I knew the true
purpose of Higher Learning. No matter your major or minor... no matter
your course load or credits... no matter your study partners or text
books, University and College existed to teach you the most important
thing of all: How to think for yourself.]
***
The Third Impact had been contained, but also focused into the earth.
Rei had been thrown from her feet and knocked unconscious against the
buckling concrete. It was only by sheer luck and a young body that she
didn't crack her head open in the process.
She had been focusing an A.T. Field at the time, ready to cut Adam off of
Gendo's body with a simple snip. Then, the Impact happened, and all hell
broke loose.
Gendo had been tossed into the LCL ocean at the foot of Lilith, and
managed to come to before Rei had. He stood in the waist deep liquid,
coughing and hacking.
The cobalt-blue haired woman was out cold. At least that gave him time.
Rei...why did she betray him? Had he been foolish to think he could have
trusted her...let alone anyone...with this task?
But...
Now what?
He fell to his knees for a moment, exhausted both mentally and
physically. "Yui..." he whispered out into the air as the rumbling above
began to fade.
She is here.
He blinked, eyes wide. Glasses had been long since discarded into the
pool. "Who...?"
She is here. Inside Lilith. Everyone will return to Lilith.
The voice was smooth...confident. It talked through tingles and
sensations through his hand. Gendo looked down at his palm. The strange
blob of flesh still moved on it's own...as if still active with Rei's
flesh.
Join with Her. She will not turn you away, and you will see Yui again.
"Rei was just a vessel..." he told himself as he stood. The gentle waves
he caused spread out from his belly as he walked through the liquid.
They streamed out behind him as a cape would on a proud king's armour.
"I am the true key. I have Adam."
Yes. Join with Her. Allow us to become One again. All your dreams will
become true! Enter the Promise Land!
The LCL became too deep to walk through, so he began to swim. At first,
as his feet left the ground, it was in a slow, floating crawl. Then, as
Lilith seemed to approach all around him, he swam frantic and fast.
"YUI!" he gasped out for air as his hand touched the base of the gigantic
red metal slab. "YUI! I've come home!"
Rei's eyes opened just in time to see him scrambling up the metal, eager
to touch Lilith's flesh. Her head swam with confusion and pain, but it
wasn't long before she realized what she was seeing. "Ikari..." she
coughed. "No..." she stood, then began to run. "IKARI! YOU MUSTN'T!"
she yelled out, propelled by instinct.
The eyes of Lilith's mask seemed sad as she once again gazed at Rei. "It
is wrong..." it whispered into her head. "Forbidden. It must not
happen..."
Gendo Ikari reached out with Adam on his hand...and touched. An
explosion of white flesh enveloped him.
Rei watched as there was a loud heartbeat, and the mangled legs of
Lilith's body began to drip LCL. What had been the start of it's healing
was now the first source of it's decay.
Blobs of flesh began to drip down it's body in a strange, grotesque
waterfall. Rei took a step back as she realized that Lilith was not
decaying, but rather, changing shape.
With surreal gravity, the massive body pulled itself free of the two
giant spikes holding it's hands to the cross. The fingers began to
elongate and twist together, forming claws. Flesh began to pull inwards
to show the beginnings of a rigid, spiny skeleton. Shoulders began to
rise up into long, sharp fins.
The mask began to fall off of it's face as the thing hunched over the LCL
pool beneath itself. Through the strands of white goo, Rei could see
red, narrow eyes glaring back at her.
Rei..... it hissed at her.
She took a step back. "Ikari...Ikari is not meant for Lilith..." she
breathed, becoming scared as she watched whatever demon it was take
shape.
It's mask was almost free.
The old voice...the one she knew...suddenly came through her mind.
"This cannot happen! It must be stopped!"
Rei felt a wet tear roll down her cheek. "I do not wish to join with
you..."
"I know, but there is no other way..."
She took a step backwards as the thing reached out for her. It's claws
were still dripping LCL and it's own flesh as the new form cannibalized
itself.
Somewhere up above, she heard Shinji scream. She heard Asuka weeping and
Toji crying out for someone to help.
Her friends were in danger.
There was no other way.
She closed her eyes. "Ikari-kun. Remember me...in case I do not."
Her feet lifted off the ground as the warm glow of her soul assisted her
to Lilith before it was too late.
Welcome home.
Tadaima.
Rei was enveloped by her true Mother. As the mask of SEELE fell off of
Lilith's face, the eyes were red...but no longer twisted by a foolish
man's dream of heaven.
Slender, motherly hands grew from the twisted claws. It's jagged spine
and hips smoothed to a vision of loveliness. Cracked and narrow, it's
face and head grew into a set of soft, beautiful features.
Then, it began to grow. Already lost inside, though, Rei knew she had
done the right thing.
"Where am I...?" he shivered as the cold filled his mind.
Shinji could feel the cold metal around him. The way the air seemed to
be lifting his body, despite it weighing so much in this form. His
senses blurred...but also sharp to the pain and disorientation.
The speakers rattled off a million words he could just barely make out.
People he had known...sometime so long ago...they were talking about him.
That his responses were dropping. That his sync-graph was off the
charts...or haywire...or something.
It didn't matter.
It felt as if his brain was slowly being disconnected from his body...
from reality...from the world. He could hear words and screams and
explosions around him. The heat and cold of the Third Impact...Adam's
Shockwave as it was called. The way the sky seemed to darken as they
lifted above the white smoke and cloud. It turned into a wonderful, deep
blue.
He had never seen a sky so blue...
And yet, it was infuriating. He had something to do. A reason he was
here. His hands floated free in the LCL...useless. Bleeding...or was
that just his imagination? Nothing mattered.
But he tried to make it matter again. Silently, but with all the rage
and conviction he could muster, his hands snapped down to the
controls...pulling at them desperately.
"Asuka... Toji... Rei... Everyone..." he whispered to himself as his body
behaved more frantically, trying to get the Eva to move under his
own...no...his old mind. Not this strange new one that was being
detached. "Why can't I move? Where is everyone?"
As he felt his gaze shift below, he could see the smoking crater in the
Geofront; the smoke still not settling.
What little control he had left in the Eva was used to magnify the image
of Asuka and Toji, holding a bleeding and mostly burnt Sensei Kaoru and
trying to keep him conscious.
"Sensei..." he gasped.
Images of Unit-04 jumping in to save him. Sacrificing itself so Shinji
wouldn't have been killed...
Images of Kaoru-Sensei, teaching him in class. Them laughing as they
went over a report, or a joke.
Images of Kaoru-kun dropped, bloody in the LCL. They almost matched the
image of his teacher, dying on the ground below. He screamed out as the
images tormented him. His hands came up to shield his eyes, but they
wouldn't go away. He was still synced, and could see everything with
digital clarity.
"No! NO! NO! Every time I try to help!" he remembered the way Asuka
screamed and kicked him to the side after the backrub. The way that
Kaoru had died despite him realizing the whole thing...that it didn't
have to be...
And he remembered the energy as Eva tried to wipe out Humanity with a
Third Impact.
All in his rush to save Asuka.
To save his friends.
To prove himself.
Rei...she was probably dead somewhere...vaporized from the blast!
Misato-san...Maya and Ritsuko...Kaji...Kaji had been with Kaoru-Sensei!
Was he lying, bleeding, somewhere nearby? His two, most revered
teachers?
"It...It can't happen! Not again! Not this time!" he begged. "I
learned! I TRIED! Please! Don't make me forget it all again! I want
to remember!" he cried out, making his body obey and try to regain
control once more. The controls clicked hollow as they were moved back
and forth to no use.
Suddenly...there was a white glow around him. As Unit-01 ascended above
the clouds, the white, hazy light actually seemed to strengthen.
There was this...sound...
Like a sigh.
Maybe a long, relieved sigh...or a gasp.
He watched, awestruck, as the angelic beauty of a hazy, pure-white Rei
Ayanami raised up in front of him with a scale that was startling to say
the least.
She looked...dazed. Unaware. Like how he felt right now. Like how he
imagined the whole world to feel in this horrible dream-like state. It
arched up, like stretching from a hibernation only bears could dream
of...and then hunched over...relaxing as sensation and feeling came back
into tired bones and muscles.
"Rei..." he whispered, almost not believing his eyes in their already
unreliable state.
It looked at him with strange, hollow black eyes. Like his father's...
But, then, as it reached for Unit-01, he shook his head. "Rei-chan..."
The white giant blinked. This time...it's eyes were clear and red. Warm
and familiar.
Rei was looking at him. Surprised, as if she didn't expect to be
there...as if she didn't know what was going on.
He scrambled away, but only for a moment. His body barely moved
now...his breath was slow. His eyes didn't need to blink in this strange
LCL dream, and he was entranced with the image. "Rei..." he whispered.
"Why are you here?"
The giant smiled, and it's arms came up in a loving embrace of Eva. "Are
you okay?" she whispered.
It was...strange. Calming. As if his mother had uttered those words to
him. As if he could feel himself drain away all worry. "Rei... Rei...I
don't understand..." he whispered as his eyes closed and the world began
to dissolve around him. There was a moment of pain as the Spear of
Longinus began to merge with him, but it seemed to pass all too quickly,
and brought forth the feeling of becoming weightless.
Part of the blue sky. Part of Eva. Becoming one with everything.
Everyone.
"Rei is inside your heart..." she whispered. "I am the first to be as
you wished to be. Tell me...what are your hopes? Show me your
dreams..."
The last thing Shinji Ikari felt was the breath he sighed out in complete
happiness.
"Shinji-kun!"
"Shinji-kun!"
"Shinji-kun! Come over and play with us!!"
He opened his eyes...not quite sure if these voices were true, or simply
in his mind. In truth, they were both.
Shinji stood there...at the edge of the sand as he watched the two young
girls beckon him over. They seemed fake...but their words were so real.
"Come play with us, Shinji-kun!" one said happily. "Help us build this
castle!"
"Hai!" he gasped out, elated, and ran over to play in the sand-box with
them.
Yet...he could feel himself. Standing. Watching. "This is me...just
as I started school." He whispered.
Rei's voice was somewhere around him...close by, but not tangible. "A
young boy." She whispered back.
"Yes." Shinji agreed. "This...this was the time that I was feeling most
angry. Most frustrated. I had started to play the Cello to relax, but I
wasn't even any good at that."
"Why were you angry?" This time...Kaoru-kun.
Shinji looked away. "Because. My father sent me away to live with my
teacher this year too. And...I was angry that he left me."
The little boy was now alone in the sand pile, watching the others leave
him as their parents came by to pick them up. Joy sprung forth from
their every call out to their mothers. "Mama!" and "Mother!"
Crying...he drudgingly continued work on the castle.
Shinji watched with sad eyes. He could remember himself back then. He
remembered what it felt to be so frustrated at such a young age. Unable
to understand anything. Unable to do anything. Unable to love anything
because of it.
"Why am I here?" he asked out loud as his younger self finally broke down
and began to stop his little shoes through the sand-castle.
So much anger. Hate. Destruction.
"You wished to see this." Rei said simply. "You wished to see who you
were before Eva. Why you became who you are now."
"Help me, Asuka..." came another voice.
One that made his skin crawl.
It was him.
He turned to see himself...about the same age...curled up in a corner or
a parking garage.
Misato was standing over him.
Furious, yet silent.
"What..." Shinji started...but then forced himself to watch as Misato
grabbed the boy's hand and hauled him down the corridor like a badly
trained monkey.
Silence followed.
Shinji found himself shaking. "Who was that..." he whispered.
"You." Kaoru-kun said. "You, who wished this all to happen. You who set
this tale on it's permanent beginning."
"I didn't wish for this..." he whispered, looking around, reliving the
images in his mind. "None of this..."
"You did." Rei said. As she did, the images turned into battle. Of
Asuka being torn apart. Of Toji and his sister being hit by the
shockwave of the Third Impact only just over the horizon and melting into
the sky as it shook. Of Misato, bleeding to death on the floor, praying
for his return.
Of himself, watching it all with dead eyes, refusing to do anything.
Waiting for the moments he was trapped to regain his passion to try.
Dying again when it came time to choose.
Watching himself giving Asuka a backrub...but then shaking as he watched
the scene turn grim...as he picked her up by the neck and began to crush
her throat.
"Who is this..." Shinji demanded, looking around for invisible answers.
"You." Rei repeated.
"You." Kaoru-kun said.
"No...it is not me!" he yelled out, as the world began to fade to black.
"IT IS NOT ME! I never wanted this! I never would do that!"
"He is you." Kaoru-kun said.
"Without one, single, important thing." Rei explained.
Shinji closed his eyes, though it was already dark. Just before the
silence threatened to take over, he heard another voice.
"Hope." Kaoru-Sensei said. "He is Shinji-Ikari without hope."
His eyes opened up to see himself, sitting in class, keeled over in his
chair, facing away. The eyes from the rest of the class were
there...watching...somewhere outside in the shadows.
He walked up to himself, then placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.
The boy turned around, looking up at Shinji. "Wh...why...?"
Shinji glared down at the boy. This couldn't be him...there was no way!
He frowned. "Why? Why what?"
The other Shinji looked up at him with tired, nearly dead eyes. "Why
can't everyone just die..."
Shinji's mouth curled up in disgust...but then, as the boy in front of
him buried his head back between his hands, he remembered something.
Something he didn't want to remember.
That those words had been his...not so long ago.
"This is the world you wished for."
"This is the world you wanted."
"This is the world that will be."
"This is the world you created."
"This is the world you inherited."
"This is the world you fathered."
Shinji felt his mind slip again...away from the comfort...away from the
peace. Away from it all.
His scream could have shattered lesser souls. Rei, Kaoru and Kaoru-
Sensei stood over him, watching with mild concern as Shinji continued to
lose his mind to Eva.
"It is happening." Rei turned to the other two.
"The beginning of the end." Kaoru agreed.
Kaoru-Sensei nodded reluctantly. "Despite our hopes, but not the end to
hope."
Kaoru smiled up at the older man with is namesake. "It must be this way.
Nothing will stay, or be permanent unless it happens like this. Letting
all become one.."
"Redemption does not occur unless one knows it is time." Rei whispered to
Sensei.
Sensei nodded, and the three faded slowly out of Shinji's mind, leaving
him shaking and crying as he curled up on a non-existent floor.
"No..." he whispered. "No! No...please...no...no..." repeated, over and
over again.
"I don't want this..." he shivered.
He knew those words were not as sure as he wished them to be.
Maybe...maybe it would be nice.
Not to have to worry anymore.
Not to have to fight.
Not to be.
Even if just for a while...
"S2 Engines are releasing their cycles! I don't understand!" Makoto
yelled over the loud hum that seemed to be everywhere. "Pattern is
reversing! I'm getting negative numbers here!"
Misato had taken Ritsuko's post and was just trying to make sense of
everything going on. "Sub-Commander! The remaining Eva Series are
disintegrating!"
Fuyutsuki smiled grimly as one by one, the four white monsters began to
vaporize. "The power is too much for them..." he said. But it was clear
that even without the others to distribute the energy, it would be more
than enough to keep the Project going.
The giant Lilith-Rei was now expanding more than ever...fuelled by the
demons giving their power to it. "What happens now is up to Ikari's
son..." he said quietly. "Soon, we'll all return to that empty egg. If
we stay there...then it means Shinji has lost his will."
Makoto turned to Misato and shook his head. "Misato...th... they're
emitting an anti- A.T. Field.
She closed her eyes and nodded, leaning back in her seat. "It's all
happening...just like Kaji-kun said. He knew not to ask the ending..."
Makoto closed his eyes, exhausted mentally and physically. "I'm glad it
was with you, Misato..." he whispered, just loud enough to be heard. "I
didn't want to die alone."
There was a warm, white glow around him as he opened his eyes. Two soft,
beautiful eyes gazed into his own. Misato was smiling at him the way he
had always wished she would. The way she did when they were
alone...joking and happy.
"Misato..." he whispered, reaching up as the light touched him. It
kissed him with such tenderness that he would have remembered his last
feeling before losing physical shape was a tear of joy rolling down his
cheek.
Misato turned to the sound, gasping as Makoto dissolved. However, when
she did, she saw Kaji sitting in the seat next to her. "Kaji-kun?" she
gasped.
Silently, he smiled and leaned over to whisper into her ear. "I meant
those words...even back then..." he said softly.
Misato trembled, closing her eyes as he wrapped warm, loving arms around
her. With a muffled, long sigh, she accepted the embrace and turned into
a gush of yellow gel.
Outside, the real Kaji watched the sky turn bright white, and smiled as
he felt the loving arms of Misato slide around his stomach, holding him
close. "Misato...I'm happy..." he whispered. "I'm happy we survived
together..."
And then joined his love.
The JSDF forces yelled out in surprise as many of their own people began
to liquefy in their suits. The brief gunshots and gasps were quickly
silenced, however, as they were all taken by the phenomenon.
Poor Shigeru had witnessed both Misato and Makoto's transformations, and
gasped as he saw white figures advancing towards him. "NO! NO! STAY
BACK!" he gasped, scrambling underneath the computer terminal. "Don't
come any closer!" he yelled.
They came closer.
One finally approached...it seemed at first to look like Rei...but then
faded into a soft, formless image. "Shigeru...it's okay..." it whispered
in a motherly tone.
Indeed, his eyes were wide as he realized it was his mother's voice.
Something he hadn't heard since the disasters after the Second Impact
claimed her life...
"Mother?" he whispered, turning around...shaking...as if expecting to
find an angel, or demon, there in her place.
A smiling woman was there, dressed in a kimono. Her soft, grey hair was
just as he remembered it. She held out her arms. "My son...I'm so glad
to see you are safe now!" she said, tears of joy in her eyes.
As he slid forward into her warm arms, he didn't even care that he joined
the puddle on the floor. His only regret was not being able to say he
loved her before it happened.
The Sub-Commander watched this all with tired eyes. He didn't run. Or
worry. He smiled as a soft, warm feeling began to accumulate in the air
around him. Kozo looked up to see an angel descending for him.
"Yui..." he whispered. All hardness in his voice had vanished. "It's
good to see you again..."
The figure floated in front of him. He didn't mind that it took time to
form into Yui, and was glad she was smiling when she finally did emerge.
"It is good to see you too, Kozo-kun..." she said in a voice that was
warm, golden honey to a starving man's pallet. "I've missed you, too."
She said, embracing him with a soft sigh.
A tear-traced smile joined the puddle as his body gave way to the joy of
becoming one with her.
Not so far away, huddled together, and watching the screen, Maya and
Ritsuko watched the world dissolve around them. "Sempai...is...is this
what we've been seeking all this time?"
The blonde nodded slowly and sighed. "It seems so..."
Her voice was cut off when she saw her. The glowing image of her mother,
sitting across from them.
"Are you well, my daughter?" the older Doctor asked. There was a soft
kindness in her eyes that Ritsuko had longed to see again.
"Hai..." she whispered, unable to move or say anything else.
She smiled back. "I'm glad." She seemed to pause for a moment... thought
it must have only been a heartbeat. "And you found love...for that I am
most happy." Her mother beamed. Tears of joy of her own were now evident
in her voice.
Ritsuko turned slowly to Maya, who was buried in her arms, shaking, but
warm and safe. Her inhibitions were dissolved as she realized there was
no time for them anyway. "Hai..." she whispered, looking down at her
disciple, even as the glow came closer, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I have found love."
Maya looked up in shock as a gush of warm liquid fell over her, but just
as quickly, relaxed into the arms of Sempai...who was smiling softly.
"Sempai...I want...I..."
"Maya..." Ritsuko whispered, gently lifting her chin up. "It's okay..."
she smiled, moving closer to her lips. "I want it too..."
"Sempai...!" Maya gasped out as warm, soft lips touched her own. She
lost all care to the world, melting into the sensation, just before
melting herself.
A softly glowing Rei smiled at the two as their puddles turned into one.
"They can be together now." She whispered. Suddenly, standing next to
Gendo, Kaoru and Sensei.
Gendo watched with sad eyes as more people became one with each other.
Joining together. Joining with him. With everyone. The last thing
holding him back...the thing on his hand. He closed his eyes, then lay
back down against the floor that was in his mind.
A dirty, cold, cell-block floor. Appropriate, he supposed.
"I have waited for this for a long time...Yui." he said out loud as a
halo of light surrounded him.
Yui, still dressed in her lab-coat and hands in her pocket...like the
last day she had been absorbed, walked into his view. "Hello, husband."
She smiled sadly.
It hurt to see the look on her face, but he accepted it as she knelt down
to be with him. "I'm glad you're here...when I'm alone, all I do is hurt
Shinji." He said tiredly. "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."
Kaoru stepped forward, standing over Gendo's head as Yui gently caressed
her husband's cheek with her hand. "With no barriers, people will be
able to co-exist without pain."
Rei shook her head. "But there will be no interaction."
"It is better for me to do nothing." Gendo said, looking up at Yui. "I'm
sorry. I don't know how to be loved...how to act...how to care for him."
Yui nodded and stood. "That is true, but you will see in time that you
can learn." She smiled softly, turning around. The others with her began
walking off into the shadows around them.
Gendo gasped out, sitting up quickly. "Yui! Wait! I...I want to be
with you!"
"No. You don't." She turned, just before fading out. "Not yet, my
husband."
He felt the tears even before she would have noticed them. "But...why?"
"You have much to learn." She said simply. "And nobody can teach you
until you are ready to learn."
He watched her turn around, take three steps, and fade into the darkness.
The room around him faded as well. The light was flickering. The cold
from the floor now was everywhere. The cold of nothingness.
He closed his eyes, curling up from the cold.
"I'll try..." he whispered. "I promise I'll try to learn...for both of
you..." The images of his family began to fade in his mind's eye.
Everything went black. Only the dull throb of pain on his right hand
kept him company now.
Gendo Ikari cried for the first time in years.
The warm haze stretched over them all. "Asuka..." Toji whispered,
looking around to see strange, human like shapes in the mist. "I think
it's over."
Asuka ignored him, tears rolling down the side of her face as she held
Kaoru Miyazaki in her arms. He smiled up at her, breathing shallowly.
"It's okay, Mister...Suz.." he coughed out a bit of blood. "To...Toji.
It has to happen...I didn't realize until I met Shinji...that all this
had to happen..."
"Baka...keep still or you'll bleed to death." Asuka whispered, shaking as
she tried not to cry.
Most of his left side was charred flesh. The only regular colours on him
were the blood from his chest wound, and the white of a bone sticking out
from his side. A rib that was obviously doing more damage to his lungs
as he breathed. His right eye was bloody where his glasses had
shattered, but his left was still alive and fierce. "It's okay...
Grandma...just...a little longer...and we'll be all okay."
Toji shook his head. "We're all going to die..." he sighed. He seemed,
almost...mad. No. Not really angry, just...disappointed. "Hikari will
be angry with me...I didn't get to fulfill my promise." He whispered.
To answer him, the soft, glowing arms of Hikari slid around his chest,
cradling him. "Toji-kun...it's okay..." she whispered.
He gasped out. "Asuka..." he shivered, then sighed. "She's here...
Hikari is here for me..."
Asuka looked up to see a warm, white light behind Toji. He was smiling.
She turned away and smiled. "Go with her, Toji. She loves you."
Toji turned his head around as the light seemed to engulf him. "I
know...I do too..." A quick, wet splat filled the air, and Toji's plug
suit lay empty on the ground.
Asuka turned back to her teacher and grandson, smiling. "Will it be
painful? Will I see Shinji there? My Momma?"
"Everyone will be there." Kaoru said softly, raising his hand to her
cheek. "You don't have to fear. Never fear. My grandfather never let
anyone down. Even if it happens the same way...you'll be proud of him,
Asuka."
She let slip a sob, but just as quickly, contained it. "I...I know
that." She smiled, lips shaking as she tried not to cry out the words.
"I'm so proud of the baka...even now...I know he did his best..."
He watched with a sad gaze as she looked up. Her eyes showed that she
saw him. "It's okay...Asuka...be with him." He whispered.
She didn't say anything, just nodded and smiled. Her eyes closed and on
her face was the most content smile he had ever seen on her.
"Shinji-kun...my wonderful Baka..."
A wet feeling covered him as he sighed. "Only me left, I suppose." He
said out loud.
He smiled back down at himself. "Now, now. Don't think of it that way."
Sensei-Kaoru said, kneeling down to his broken counterpart. "You got to
see them off. You watched your students graduate."
He nodded weakly...feeling the life draining out of him at long last.
"Are you going to take me?" he asked, barely over a whisper.
"Do you want me to?" he asked back. With sad eyes past silvery glasses,
he shook his head. "You aren't strong enough...even with Shinji's help."
"I don't mind." Kaoru whispered. "I'm almost...curious...actually. Even
if I'm forced to remember the old days."
"It will be like before." Kaoru warned again, this time, much firmer.
Less joking. "You may never get out. If it is what the others say...
what the others are hoping for...it may be hell."
Kaoru smiled and nodded. "I know." He sighed. "But...someone...has to
teach them..." he said. "I know he'll do better this time."
Kaoru-Sensei nodded and smiled. "They chose us for a good reason, didn't
they, O'Sensei?"
Kaoru nodded and smiled as the light embraced him, and he was taken. "I
wouldn't want to let them down." He said, just before words no longer
were.
Around the world, the glow washed over everyone. Billions looked up to
the sky...relieved from the terror of the shaking ground. They were all
shown what was to come...what was next.
None were given a choice.
But nobody seemed to mind.
Several welcomed it passionately...including a group of very old men with
dirty, dirty souls. Each of them hoping the dirt wouldn't be so much
when they were mixed with the rest of humanity.
Indeed, they were simply specks. Specks of hate. Specks of evil.
Specks that began to sink to the bottom of the ocean that erupted.
They had gotten their wish.
Heaven.
Final Exam: [I remember realizing I was supposed to be writing a test.
Proving myself. Trying to pull myself out of the hole I was in. But, by
the time I had opened my eyes, the clock showed I was already too late.
I hated myself for a long time for that. I keep looking at myself now,
wondering if it will happen again. Wondering if, despite my best
intentions, I will simply end up skipping that next exam too. But, I
know that if I succeed this time, it will set everything right again.
That alone is worth the chance to try once more. I want that chance more
than anything, and that's why I'm going back.]
***
It felt like years.
Years were passing in heart-beats.
Everywhere, all around him, he could hear the voices. Soft, echoing
thoughts that seemed to never end, and yet, were not as maddening as one
might think they would be. Bombarded by thoughts of every type.
Images of lives lived long ago. Sounds of children playing. Cries out
at terrible injustices that had happened in someone's life. The giggling
of lovers as they remembered past conquests and hoped for future ones
that...now...would never come.
It was all accepted in his mind. As was it to everyone in this place.
This strange, floating death. To him, however, it seemed so distant.
Eventually, though, things began to quiet down. To slow down. The
voices began to whisper...trying to tell secrets in a place that forbade
them.
He closed his eyes, listening to their thoughts.
They were mostly one thing. Cries out for themselves. People...who were
no longer people...wishing they still were. Shouting out their names to
all of Humanity, as if someone would recognize them and know they were an
individual. A friend. A lover. An enemy. It didn't matter.
But, each time one shouted out, their name became property of the whole.
The voices began to silence.
Shinji opened his eyes...what he knew of them...and saw only the calm,
yellow glow of a sea he was part of...and yet, not part of.
Soft, loving hands curled around his stomach, holding him against
someone. Something. Rei...
"Do you like this?" she asked as the voices furthered their still.
He nodded. If he could actually still nod, he didn't care. It felt like
he did...and he knew she would notice. "Yes...I...I think I do."
"Why?" she asked. It was not meant to criticize. Maybe...just...
enforce this new place.
He closed his eyes with a long sigh. "It's peaceful here. There's no
fighting. No crying. No hating."
The tender caress of the woman felt nice...motherly, almost. She nodded
herself. "This is the world you wished for."
"Hai..." he said, eyes closed peacefully.
The voices were now further away. Barely over whispers.
"I want to sleep." He whispered. "Just...sleep..."
Finally, away from the pain. Away from the happiness. Away from the
worry and joy. Somewhere along the way, it all made sense. That this
was right. That it was good.
No more barriers. No more pain. He felt himself gliding slowly through
an endless crowd of people...each time he passed one, they smiled with
their shadowy face. None got in his way. He could feel himself pass
through them, effortlessly.
The reminisce of voices and dreams and pictures floated through him as
well. He watched entire lives pass by with passing attention, not
wanting to intrude on people who no longer mattered anyway. Voices that
were now part of everyone's.
It was all a heady, wonderful dream.
And then...it began with Beethoven.
It was more like a try, actually. A quivering, horrible note spiked
Shinji out of his dreamy mindset, and he looked around in surprise.
His eyes adjusted to the strange new light, or lack thereof. Cold, hard-
wood floors stretched far as the eye could see. Solid oak...quite
beautiful, but the only light in the place came from a lone candle, and
two large windows that seemed attached on an invisible wall.
Their moonlight cast long shadows from someone who was sitting on a
stool, right next to the candlelight.
A small boy. Maybe of eleven or twelve years old. The house echoed that
it was not Japanese, and indeed, they young boy had blonde hair, and
fierce, grey eyes behind glasses that seemed far too big for his head.
Shinji was about to ignore the boy, and go back to his sleep walking,
when the sound of three horrible, squeaky notes, came from the boy's
instrument. A large cello that seemed to be relying on the child's
entirety of strength to be held up.
Curious, Shinji willed himself over to the boy. "It seems much too big
for you." He offered.
The boy looked startled, but then, as he too in Shinji's image, he
smirked, adjusted his spectacles and turned to face away from him...
dragging the huge instrument with him.
He raised the bow to the strings once more, closed his eyes, and pulled
it across them once again. Finally, a low, even hum was emitted. The
boy opened his eyes happily, and then tried again...this time, failing on
the third note.
Both boys cringed as the squeak echoed around the invisible room.
"AARRGH! Dammit!" the boy yelled, dropping the bow and throwing his
grip of the cello away. The huge instrument was sturdy enough that it
didn't break during the fall, but it made a satisfying BOOM!
"What were you trying to play?" Shinji asked, though he knew it had
sounded like the beginnings of The Ninth Symphony.
"Nothing." The boy huffed, crossing his arms. "Nothing at all. I can't
play the stupid thing."
Almost as an after thought, though, the boy looked over his shoulder at
the cello, making sure it was okay.
Shinji smiled. "May I try?"
The boy glared at him through his huge lenses. "Fine. See if I care!"
he yelled.
Shinji took a step back, but as he saw the outburst was simply the work
of his frustration, not anger, he nodded. The cello was heavy. How the
skinny little boy could lift it comfortably was a miracle. There was
another stool next to him, suddenly, and Shinji took it to seat upon,
readying himself and checking the instrument for damage.
"What's your name?" Shinji asked.
The boy's eyes narrowed behind his glasses.
Shinji laughed, "Mine's Shinji. Ikari Shinji." He bowed his head
slightly. "It's okay, I'm just curious."
The boy sighed, as if it was the most boring conversation of his life.
"Jayce." The boy frowned. His accent was English, at least when he
wasn't yelling. "Everyone tries to call me Jake."
"What do you like better?" Shinji asked.
"Jayce." The boy nodded sternly. "Jake is a stupid name. Too common.
It's not my real name anyway...so I like Jayce better."
Shinji nodded. "It's a very good name. Very unique."
Jayce seemed pleased by this, and smiled earnestly for the first time
Shinji had met him. "I like your name too." He cocked his head to the
side. "Did you know it means Truth?"
It was Shinji's turn to smile. "Yes, actually." He sighed, then looked
at the cello. "But I don't know if it fits me, exactly."
"It is a good name." Jayce insisted with a nod. "I learned about Japan
in social science class last year. There are many good Shinjis in your
government. Many good people named Shinji." He smiled. "You should be
proud."
Shinji blinked, then laughed. "To be truthful, I never really noticed
many other Shinjis." He looked down at the cello, then took a deep
breath.
The younger boy watched, on the edge of his seat as Shinji began to play
scales. One didn't sound right, and Shinji quickly tuned the instrument
before trying again. This time, each note sounded, more-or-less perfect.
"Ha!" the boy announced. "That is why I couldn't do it!" he beamed. "It
was tuned wrong."
Shinji didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise, and nodded. "I'm
sure it will be much easier, now." He smiled. The cello itself produced
a wonderful sound. Clearly, this was not just one found at the local
music shop.
The wood was finely carved...and he saw evidence that it was all done by
a craftsmen's hand. A tiny extra scrape...a slight imperfection on the
surface. The instrument itself seemed quite old. He looked up to see
Jayce watching, rubbing his hands together nervously.
Shinji nodded. "This cello is important to you."
Jayce blushed terribly, turning away all at once. "Of course not! It is
just a chunk of wood!" As he peered back, though, the worry in his eyes
betrayed his words.
"I'll be very careful." Shinji explained. Jayce relaxed slightly, but
tried to maintain his image of disinterest.
"Do what you want with it. I don't care." He stated proudly, though he
was still watching Shinji for signs that he might drop the instrument or
break it somehow.
Shinji decided to stop pestering the boy, and closed his eyes, this time
speaking with music as the bow was drawn along the instrument's strings.
A wonderful, rich sound echoed out as he played the first breaking
note...then sped up slightly to begin to play his song.
Suiten fur Violoncello.
The complex, wonderful sounds began to blend together to form
music...lasting less than a minute, yet filling the room like an ocean of
perfect, blue water.
As he opened his eyes, the young boy was staring at him, mouth wide open.
Shinji promptly turned red and bowed his head. "It's a very good cello."
He coughed, gently handing ownership back to the boy.
The boy took it back in disbelief, looking at the instrument, then back
at Shinji. "How...where did you learn to play like that?"
"A lot of practice." Shinji smiled. "I was once unable to even make it
squeak. You're off to a very good start."
Jayce smiled, though he looked slightly embarrassed. "It was very good.
I always wanted to play a song like that...not one of the beginners songs
that the teacher always used to show me." He sighed, then shook his head.
"I'm meant for bigger things!"
Shinji laughed, standing. The stool was suddenly not there. "You should
listen to your teachers. Starting off small is a good way to start."
Jayce sighed, but then nodded. "Maybe you're right."
Ikari turned around and began to walk off. "Thank you for letting me
play. It was fun." He said after stopping to bow again.
With a gasp, Jayce hopped off the stool and rushed over to him, cello
still in hand. "Wait!"
"Mm?" Shinji blinked.
"I want you to teach me!" Jayce said firmly.
Shinji sighed and shook his head. "I don't know...I'm not a very good
teacher."
"I will not accept no as an answer!" Jayce said fiercely, huffing and
puffing out his chest. "You will be my teacher, and help me become the
best cellist ever!"
Shinji blinked, then smiled. The boy definitely had the passion. He
wished he followed his music with that kind of drive. "Maybe in the next
life." He said softly, replying to both his own, and the boy's
statements.
Jayce frowned, but then smiled. "Very well. I will see you here again."
Shinji nodded, then stood and turned; leaving as simple as willing it to
be.
Time passed.
Or it didn't.
Time didn't matter anymore.
Sometimes, Shinji would walk through the crowd, listening to remnants of
lives as he passed through them like an echo. Sometimes, he imagined the
sounds and voices were from people he recognized...but he forced himself
to keep moving. "They don't want to see me..." he whispered. "I failed
them."
Whenever he thought that, the place seemed darker. He would usually stay
in that mood until he convinced himself that they couldn't be the people
he once knew...that they were all part of this place now anyway. Or they
were talking about other Shinjis. Jayce had said there were many. They
were all just a collection of memories now...not actually people.
"Or maybe they failed me." He said to himself, his mood darkening again.
He didn't like feeling that...watching the liquid world around him being
stained like that. Whenever it was like that, the voices seemed afraid
of him. Quiet.
It made the silent world even more-so.
On one of these occasions, though, he heard a familiar 'squeak!'. His
mood lifted almost immediately, and he soon found himself standing in the
same room. Moonlight streamed through the windows, and a candle warmed
him.
Jayce turned to him, alarmed...but then smiled as recollection occurred.
"Shinji! I was waiting for you!"
Shinji bowed lowly, and smiled. "I hope it's not a bad time. I just
heard you playing."
The boy laughed, shaking his head. "Of course. My wonderful music is
very distinct." He seemed well aware of his 'music's interesting
signature, and both boys laughed.
"But...I want to show you!" Jayce said, eagerly raising the bow. "I've
been practicing for some time now!"
Shinji found the spare stool and sat down across from Jayce. "Alright.
Let's hear!" he smiled. "Play on, good minstrel!"
Shaking with excitement, Jayce ruined the first three notes, but then, he
calmed down, and played one long, wonderful, perfect note...the signature
beginning of Shinji's song...or at least...his favourite way of beginning
it. A few shaky, but acceptable notes followed as they emulated the song
the best the boy could remember.
He finally sighed and stopped when the cello began to crack up again, but
then looked up at Shinji with a bright grin. "What do you think?"
Shinji nodded, honestly impressed. The boy had done amazing considering
he had no sheet music to work from. "You have a very keen musical ear."
He nodded to the boy's obvious pride.
"I've been practicing all the time." Jayce said, handing the bow to the
surprised Shinji. "But I need you to play again. I want to memorize the
notes better this time."
For some reason, Shinji suddenly felt out of place. "I don't know..." he
looked at the bow. "You should probably be learning from someone better
than I am. I only know a few songs well."
"Nonsense!" Jayce said. "As I said before, you are my teacher. I don't
expect you to know everything, but I have to start somewhere." He smiled.
"No offence, Shinji, but I've heard better cello playing, too."
"Then..." Shinji blinked. "Why do you want me to teach you?"
"Because you're the only one who stopped to listen." Jayce said frankly.
"Everyone here doesn't seem to care anymore." He sighed, looking around,
as if he could see past the dark walls. "But I can't give up. Not yet."
Shinji looked away for a moment, then began to play. The tune was a bit
slower this time. He didn't feel as happy playing it, either, but
eventually, he did feel a bit better.
Jayce noticed and blinked. "What's wrong?"
"Just..." Shinji sighed, passing the bow back, then the neck of the
cello. "What if you have no choice but to give up? What if you are
destined to fail at something?"
"Doesn't matter." Jayce said quickly, with complete conviction. "You
should keep trying, even if you're in the pits of hell, and you want to
get to heaven!" he said. "My father always told me that..."
Shinji looked up as he saw Jayce was silent. His eyes seemed distant all
of a sudden.
"I wonder if he's here, too." Jayce said with a sigh. "Not that I
care...just..."
"You'd like to see him again." Shinji filled in, eyes closed.
Jayce sighed, but then brightened considerably. "How about you? Who
would you like to see again?"
"Nobody." Shinji said quickly. The candle threatened to go out as the
room darkened around him.
"Ahh." Jayce said, nodding his head, knowingly. "You're a rebel-type,
then? Funny...I don't know too many rebels into classical music."
"I'm not a rebel." Shinji said, darkly. "I'm weak. I'm a failure. I'm
mean and I hurt people." He sighed. "I don't want to hurt anyone."
Jayce regarded the older boy with a sigh. "That's why you don't want to
see anyone?" he shrugged. "I suppose it makes sense."
Shinji looked up at him and smiled tiredly. "I think you're the first
person that actually thought I made sense."
"Of course!" Jayce beamed proudly. "I am a very good judge of
character." He said with his accent trying to be more regal than it was.
Shinji smiled.
"You should go." Jayce said suddenly lifting the bow to the strings. "I
have much more practicing to do, and I don't want my poor teacher to have
to hear the first few horrible squeaks as I practice."
"I don't mind..."
"I said go!" Jayce said in a mock commanding tone. "I'm sure you're a
busy man, and a little boy like me is not about to monopolize your time.
Spare me the attempt at tact and leave me in the dust when you want to."
Shinji stood to leave. "Good luck, then." He said, a bit confused, but
enjoying the refreshing attitude.
"Luck is for the weak." Jayce stated proudly. "When next you come back,
I will put on a concert fit for you to stay for tea." Then, as if to
drive home his point, he made a horrible, loud screech with the bow.
Shinji laughed and nodded, fading away without another word.
The thought haunted him for a long time.
Did he really want this? To be alone?
Of course not...
But...
When he was around others, he ended up hurting them. Hating himself for
doing it. Or unable to help despite all good intentions.
The words kept on echoing through his head. That it was all his fault...
and just one quick pull of the trigger would probably stop it all from
happening again.
It would have. Unit-01 would have been dormant; the world would be rid
of NERV. No more angels. No more attacks. No more pain.
Why did this happen? Where was he? Everyone was here...but...not. Not
like they were before.
He didn't dare seek out his friends. Asuka...she would only yell at him
for leaving her alone. Toji would look down on him and finally agree
that he was weak and snivelling. Rei...if she was still Rei...would try
to comfort him, but deep down, he knew she had just lost the life she had
just had a chance to taste to it's fullest. Misato, Kaji, and Kaoru-
sensei would all feel disgusted at his failure, despite their efforts to
help him learn.
And so, it was with that he began to seek out someone who he knew would
have answers, and yet, would never be disappointed in him...
More than he always was.
"Father." He whispered out.
A moment later, he found himself in a dark, slimy place.
There was a man, lying prone on the ground, if there was a ground. A bit
younger...it seemed...but still instantly recognizable as the man who
brought Shinji into this world.
He held his right hand as if it had been cut, babying it like a father
would hold an injured child. "So dark here, Yui..." he whispered out
loud.
Shinji took a few steps forward, but Gendo didn't notice. Finally, he
forced himself to say something. "Father...what happened to me?"
Gendo didn't turn to his son, however, he answered with a long, long
sigh. "I can hear him now, Yui..." he stated out loud. "He must be
angry with me."
"No!" Shinji knelt down next to the man. "I'm not angry with you,
Father! Just tell me what this is! Tell me why I have to..."
"NOOO!" Gendo yelled out, sitting up. The light seemed to shift again,
this time turning pitch black around them both. "Yui! Help me! Help
me!"
Shinji's heart sunk as he watched his father dissolve into a sobbing old
fool, gasping out in the airless space, holding onto his hand like it was
the only thing he cherished. "Father..."
"This is the world he chose, Shinji-kun." Came a soft, familiar voice.
His mother was now standing next to him. Shinji looked up with wide eyes
at the woman...she was still as he remembered, as if the accident never
happened. "Mother!" he whispered with more joy than he had known in the
longest time.
She smiled down at him, then gently, took his hand. Shinji rose, and
after a long moment, he forgot all his pain and gave her a hug so tight,
had she been in a real body, she would have been unable to breathe. She
just laughed softly, letting Shinji hold on as tightly as he wanted.
"Son..." she said as Shinji took a step back, tears staining his cheeks.
"This is not a good place to be." She said softly.
Shinji turned back to his father, who was now curled up in a ball. "What
is this place, Mother?" he asked. "Where am I? Why is everyone here...
but..."
"It's quiet?" she filled in for him. Shinji nodded. "This is the result
of all our efforts, Shinji-kun."
"You're a part of this too." Shinji sighed tiredly. "I was hoping that
you weren't."
Yui frowned slightly, but her features softened a moment later. "Son,
you have to understand something very important. Ever since the Dead Sea
Scrolls were recovered, we knew this would all happen. The Second
Impact, the Third, all the Evangelions, the Angels. Everything. The
only thing that gave us hope was knowing that, despite it all, it would
depend on the human soul to give us a conclusion we could live with."
He shook his head and looked to Gendo. "Is this what you mean? My
Father, snivelling in a dark place? Me growing up without my Mother?
Having to watch everyone around me in pain?" he looked away. "Some job
the human soul did."
"Shinji-kun." His Mother sighed. "Come with me. I want to show you
something."
The darkness lifted instantly, and all of a sudden, his Father was one
with the goo again. Yui was still with her son, however. There was a
brief moment of movement, where somehow, they traveled some unknown
distance, almost to the edge of the world. He wasn't sure how he knew
this, but there was a noticeable pull behind him. On this edge, he could
see different things...ghosts...souls...something.
They were swimming like schools of fish. Foggy eyes watched Shinji and
Yui as they approached, but none ever seemed to react otherwise. Out of
the corner of his eye, he would sometimes see one's face. Clothed in
dresses and suits. Smiles and frowns. Tiny moments of their previous
lives.
"What...what are they?" Shinji whispered, already knowing the answer.
"Those who wish to go back, and yet, are scared to." Yui said softly, her
arm reaching out to one as it flew past. The ghostly shape slid through
her hand like it was air, leaving a trail of white fog behind it as it
streamed off her fingers. "They are the souls who loved life so much
that even the Angels and Instrumentality could not completely shake them
from it."
Shinji watched, mesmerized as more faces appeared. As he watched,
however, he saw a few suddenly stop swimming through the world, and begin
to fade...drifting towards him. He moved aside as it floated past, then
dissolved.
"Human beings are not meant to struggle endlessly. Not forever." Yui
explained as his shocked face asked the question. "There is no place to
go. No way out of this heaven for them. Eventually, even sharks and
fish can tire if they swim too hard for too long." She sighed as another
was claimed by the void behind them. "One by one, they will lose hope.
Forget about their bodies. Their souls will then join the others
completely and be at rest."
"It's so useless..." Shinji whispered. "Why fight what one can't
change?"
"Because they know there is a way out." Yui said, looking at her son
again. "They know that there is a soul in here that can bring them out
of this place. Not an Angel, nor an Evangelion, but a simple human
soul." She smiled. "They're waiting for you to decide, my son."
Shinji looked away, shaking his head. "I've already decided. This is my
fate...why should anyone care what..."
"Something is holding you here." Yui interrupted. "You may think you
have decided. That you have accepted your fate, or doom." She sighed,
placing a warm hand on his back. "But there is a part of you that knows
it isn't done yet."
He looked at his Mother with sad eyes. "I wish it were true."
"If you wish, then it is true." Yui smiled. "You have the power to
change what you want. To do what you want. All of us do, but because of
this place, many have forgotten."
Shinji looked around at the void as they floated back towards the deeper
centre, watching the ghosts fade...but not before seeing a handful more
follow them and dissolve. "I hate this place..." he whispered. "I
didn't think it would be like this."
Yui nodded and smiled. "It is never as one expects, my son. Our minds
sometimes betray and lead our hearts and souls to fake dreams and
expectations. However, while your heart can be hurt, and can be locked
away...your soul is still yours to command. Even in this place where all
souls are trying to become one again." She leaned down and took a deep
breath. "It is a strange place. It makes people forget. But...there is
a secret that you know in your heart."
He closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't know any secrets..."
"Yes you do." She said. "You know that there is a way out."
Shinji shook his head, but even then, he knew his mother was right.
"H...how? How do you get out?"
"You. You are the key. You are why all this happened. Why we all
sacrificed so much and risked it all. My son, you alone have the power
to change this place." Yui leaned closer and whispered. "There's no
trick to it. You just have to leave."
Shinji's eyes opened, and he found himself in a different place.
His mother was no longer with him, however, he could feel someone was
watching him. "I must admit...I never thought the train-tracks would
lead here." Someone said.
With a smile, Shinji turned around. The room faded into view, showing a
classroom and his Sensei at his desk. He was perched on the side like he
always was...papers and books all around him. "Sensei..."
Miyazaki smiled and nodded. Then, he walked over to the board. "Mister
Ikari, please, come here. You're not a student in my class." He said
quietly.
The room was all too quiet, as if it was almost about to fade into the
void like the souls before. It never did, though, and the tiled floor
felt wonderfully familiar as his feet walked across it. "I...I'm not
used to being up at the front of the class." He sighed.
"You'll have to get used to it." Miyazaki said with a smile. "Last time
this all happened, you ended up being the teacher for our family."
"Our...family?" Shinji whispered, looking at the desk nervously. "What
do you mean?"
"Well, both our families." Kaoru said, leaning against the board and
offering his seat to the boy. "Surely you noticed the family
resemblance?" he laughed, hunching over briefly to perform a patented
'Gendo-glasses-push-up' on his nose.
Shinji hung his head slightly. "I thought it was my imagination. That I
was filling you in for my Father." After a bit of hesitation, though, he
hopped up on the desk and sat with his legs dangling over.
Kaoru laughed and seemed pleased that he did. "Well, I'll give you a
hint." He pointed at Shinji's feet. "I learned that habit from my
grandfather."
Shinji's eyes went wide with realization. "G...Grandfather? A...And
you're my..."
"Grandson." Kaoru bowed. "Kaoru Miyazaki Langley Ikari, at your
service."
He blinked. "Where did the Miyazaki come from?"
"After the Third Impact, there wasn't much to do." Kaoru explained. "You
and Grandma..." he blushed. "Er...Asuka...needed some way to keep all
the kids happy, so after about ten years of hunting for the right parts,
you actually got a DVD player working and the first movie you showed us
was an old classic by a gentleman named Hayao Miyazaki." He blinked then
sighed.
"What is it?" Shinji asked, noticing the strange look on his face.
"Your...son, and my father..." Kaoru smiled softly. "I remember he
didn't like the movie. Said it was stupid and depressing. But I
remember you and Asuka were crying nearly at the end. In joy..." he
added. "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Winds is a good movie...but I
think you two lived even harder lives than what was depicted in the
story."
Shinji nodded. He hadn't seen the movie in a long time, but he knew of
it. "So it's your middle name?"
"Not quite." Kaoru smiled. "But close enough. We...well..." he sighed,
shaking his head. "I can understand why you and Asuka decided to split
us up into the two families."
"Why did we do that?" he blinked.
Miyazaki smiled. "After you realized your son had made your daughter
pregnant, you decided to pretend there were two families...so it would be
easier to prevent inbreeding later on."
Shinji's eyes were wide.
"Adam and Eve had to do the same thing." Kaoru explained with a shrug.
"I knew about it...maybe that's why I never took a wife...but it made
things easier for the others. In the end, though, I don't think that you
two were ready for it." He shook his head. "It must have been very
awkward to watch your children and grandchildren fall in love."
"What was it like?" Shinji asked, turning away the subject before it got
out of hand. "Life? Was it okay?"
"Life? After the whole thing?" Kaoru asked. Shinji nodded. He sighed.
"I didn't really have much to compare it to until I came here. It was
home...but it was hard."
"Who...who else was there?" He sighed. "I mean...was it just me and
Asuka in the beginning?"
"Yep." Kaoru nodded. "A true Adam and Eve story, actually. You two were
alone for...well...you never told any of us for how long. Once in a
while, though, I heard you talking about trips across Japan to look for
survivors. Sometimes, I would hear you mention something about Asuka's
injuries and how long it took for her to heal." He smiled softly. "But
only when it was Sakura Day." He saw Shinji's head cock to the side, and
nodded. "That was the one holiday you and Asuka had set up for us.
There was no more cherry blossoms, at least, not for decades. So,
instead, you set up the anniversary of the Third Impact as a holiday.
The only time any of us were allowed to drink."
Shinji sighed and nodded. "I can see why."
"When I was seven, I found you in your study...two large bottles
of...well, I didn't know at the time, but they were sake, were all gone."
Miyazaki said in a whispered tone, as if reciting something he treasured.
"You told me of your life...the people you knew...why you thought you had
failed, but also why you had the strength to continue." He sighed. "Then
you took me to the edge of the ocean, waded three steps in, and poured a
full bottle into the sea, saying it was for a woman named Misato who you
cared for very much, and all your other friends who were no more."
They were silent for a long time.
Or maybe a heartbeat. It didn't matter.
Kaoru sighed, as if having a heavy weight placed in his arms, and pulled
up a student desk to sit on. The two young men were eye-to-eye now.
"One year, on Sakura, there was a fight." He swallowed hard. "Your wife
was killed by her own child. Your son. After...it was over..." he
closed his eyes. "I helped you lock my father into the Geofront. What
was left of it. He probably died down there...we had already taken most
of the useful..." his voice cracked slightly and Shinji suddenly felt
horrible that he was listening to the tale.
"You don't have to continue..." Shinji said softly. "It's okay..."
"No." Kaoru frowned...mostly at himself...and took a deep breath. "It's
important you know what happens." He took a long, cleansing breath and
started again. "We became fast friends. I was still fairly young at the
time...and you wanted your son to raise me as he saw fit...but
afterwards, I looked at you for guidance." He smiled. "It was nice. You
taught me about the world you knew. Showed me how to use an A.T. Field
in ways that you never even showed the others. In return, I taught you
about the things I had learned...books you've never read. The Magi.
Things like that.
"But, you died one day." He continued with a long, whispered breath.
"You lived to a good age, and the last look on your face was happiness
that you would be with Asuka again." He smiled softly. "You two were so
in love..." he shook his head. "Not always...but before her death, you
two would have made poets smile."
Shinji felt his heart warm at this, and couldn't help but smile and blush
a bit. "I'm glad..."
"On the night of your passing, I took your body to the ocean and lay you
in. It was..." he sighed. "Ritual, I guess. Or maybe it just seemed
right. That way you were with everyone you cared about. Even us. The
families always stayed near the ocean. It was part of us too."
"The ocean...like we're in now?" Shinji asked. Kaoru nodded. "I... I
can see why I asked for that." He sighed, looking around.
"I saw someone, though." Kaoru said. "I saw who you know as the Last
Angel." He smiled sadly. "He watched me push your body into the liquid,
then walked over to me like a ghost."
Shinji listened, closing his eyes as he tried to remember things about
the other Kaoru, but none of it seemed to matter anymore.
"He told me that you had lived a good life...but humanity had not learned
from it." Kaoru continued. "He said that it was time for everyone to
come back. That there was no need to live like we were, and that it was
time to make things right."
"So...he brought you here?" Shinji asked.
"Not right away." Miyazaki whispered. Shinji blinked as he turned away.
"You have to understand, I wanted to know you. I wanted to be like you.
I wanted to help. So...I asked Kaoru to take me to you. He did exactly
what I had hoped, and let me see inside your soul."
"My...soul?" Shinji asked weakly.
"I saw everything..." Kaoru whispered. "I can't be completely sure, but
it was like I was with you. All the way up till the end. I saw how much
you loved Asuka..." he smiled softly. "I admit, I wished for a long time
after that I could find someone I could feel so much love towards. For a
while, I pretended I was you...that Asuka was my wife. Needless to say,
I had to get over it when I came here." He said, bright red, but smiling.
"She is a very special woman."
Shinji blushed and nodded. "She...she is special beyond words."
"I even took Pen-Pen with me." He smiled at Shinji's reaction. "Pen-Pen
survived the Impact before, thanks to Misato's planning. The entire
family took care of him in later years, and because of his genetic
alterations, he aged very slowly. I knew he would allow me to keep an
eye on you two when you weren't at school." He explained with a laugh.
"He is a very smart penguin. I'm glad he chose to help out. I don't
think things would have worked out nearly as well without him."
Laughing, Shinji agreed. "He does seem to be a bit smarter than one
would first expect."
"But...yes...when Kaoru showed me..." The classroom seemed suddenly
dimmed as Kaoru walked over to the chalkboard and placed his hand on it.
His hand-print was left in the chalk-dust as he pulled away. "It was
like watching those DVD's, but I felt as if I was part of the story. I
watched as Asuka got..." he swallowed hard. "Attacked...by the Angel.
As Misato was bleeding to death, trying to snap you out of your..." a
long, long sigh. "As it all came down around us. How it happened. All
that I wanted was to make it better. To help you get the edge you
needed. To save Asuka...to protect them all."
With a long, long pause, Kaoru finally turned back to Shinji, shaking his
head. "I never thought that I would be putting you all through the pain
again...and I thought I would have been able to do more than this..."
Shinji shook his head as he saw tears threaten in his Grandson's eyes.
"It's okay..." he said, reaching forward.
Was it?
He didn't know.
It didn't matter, though. Kaoru hugged him back tightly as Shinji
offered comfort. All of a sudden, his Sensei seemed smaller...as if he
had changed to a young boy.
He had. Looking at Shinji with wet eyes, a sixteen-year-old Kaoru
Miyazaki Langley Ikari stood there, sniffling.
"I'm sorry..." the boy said sadly.
It was the image Shinji remembered as he found himself floating again,
weightless and without form in a sea of souls.
He was quiet for a long, long time after that.
It was days...months...years...or maybe just a few heartbeats later.
Whatever amount of time had passed had now passed, and he found himself
drifting through the shadows again.
They were darker...not as defined as the souls away from the deepest part
here. They held only snapshots of a soul, not the actual soul anymore.
Shinji would sometimes enter one to find empty rooms of long-forgotten
houses. Sometimes a train station. Or a grassy field cut down to only a
hill and a park bench.
Everything was bathed in darker and darker tones. Memories were being
forgotten. Lives were becoming rare things in a sea of nothingness. He
watched it all return to nothing, and knew in his heart that he should
have been mad. Horrified. Frightened.
Anything.
But he was not. His mind was focused on only one thing at the moment.
Finding Asuka.
She had been with him? Away from this place? Maybe she was already
outside, waiting for him. She was strong enough to fight out of anything
else...why not here? There was no way to tell. No way to guess. At
first, he had been hopeful...going as far as he could away from the deep
centre...finding the brightest souls...finding the most powerful memories
and happiest lives. If nothing else...the ones who lusted after it.
The ones who had the kind of passion he knew she had. That she always
had. Even in her darkest moments.
No Asuka.
However, just before he was about to turn away and head to the darker
parts again, he heard a familiar voice.
And...Mother? Again?
He turned around to find himself standing next to a large tree. It was
blossoming it's final Sakura blossoms...the weather seemed odd...maybe
the first summer after the Second Impact.
Indeed, it seemed to fit. A younger Fuyutsuki was kneeling down next to
a baby carriage, smiling at what was inside. Dressed out of her lab-
coat, and instead, in a long sweater, he saw his mother standing over the
baby inside, smiling proudly. "His name is Shinji. I have always
thought the name to be quite nice."
Kozo beamed. Shinji was slightly surprised. The Sub-Commander never
seemed this...happy...ever! "He is a fine boy, Yui-ko. You both must be
very proud!"
Ko? A sign of affection. Shinji watched with interest as his mother
turned slightly red and smiled back. He smiled as the thought hit him.
He was watching the Sub-Commander's heaven.
Had they been close? Shinji had only known precious few years of his
mother, and they were too blissful and unaware to notice things as this.
They moved around each other, and yet, were as close as they could be
without embarrassment. Perhaps like two ex lovers during a reunion, or a
student and teacher that could have been more than that.
"You loved her." He asked out loud, not really expecting an answer.
Kozo nodded...the scene freezing in his mind. Shinji watched everything
become two dimensional...paper thin. The shadows they cast seemed
different now. The old man...not so old now...turned to the boy and
smiled with bright eyes. "I did. I will. Even though I try not to."
Shinji moved into the scene from the shadows, stepping up to the man who
had re-trained his gaze on Shinji's Mother. "What was she like?" Shinji
asked, slightly embarrassed as he realized he should have left the old
man to his dreams.
He didn't seem to mind, and in fact, seemed happy for the chance to share
with, perhaps, one of the only people in the world who would understand.
"When I met her..." he sighed happily. "I fought against her a lot. She
was brilliant...much more than I was. I had the experience to know that
she outclassed me in all knowledge...and yet...she looked up to me in a
way that my other students never did. She respected me as an equal, not
a teacher."
Shinji smiled and nodded.
"Instead of having to prove myself against her all the time...we began to
work together. I'd like to think we both benefited, but I know that I
had the better end of the deal." Fuyutsuki smiled, now old again. "Quite
simply, she was a wonderful person. Everyone in the class loved her." He
chuckled. "Maybe not...like that...but everyone liked her. Respected
her for the same reason."
The scene shifted...
A familiar garden enveloped them, and Shinji found himself next to Kozo,
watching Yui and a younger version of the old professor talking on a
wooden love-seat under the stars.
"It is a nice dream." Shinji said softly, not wanting to disturb the
scene.
Fuyutsuki seemed embarrassed for a moment, but was clearly happy as they
watched Yui kiss him softly, then turn and run off with wet cheeks. "It
was...a wonderful night." He whispered. "A dream that came real. A
fantasy that wasn't too bold to refuse to come true."
"What about after?" Shinji asked as the scene faded. "Is the dream worth
it when you wake up?"
Kozo turned to Shinji and smiled brightly, with tears evident. "Yes.
Without hesitation, yes."
Shinji looked away for a moment, then nodded. "I envy your conviction,
Fuyutsuki-sama."
As the scene faded...his mind drifting out of the light and ready to
drift once more, the old man just shook his head. "You have her
strength, Shinji. Use it if you can, or you'll end up watching dreams
for the rest of your days." He said. "Don't you have a dream you want to
come true? More than anything?"
More than anything.
Misato would know what to do. "Misato-san."
And he was there. A twilit room in the heat of summer...back when it
would get really hot. Not just slightly misty and humid and warm...
Hot.
The tiny fan osculating back and forth did nothing but blow a wonderfully
delicious breeze across the skin of the two people embraced on the bed.
Shinji found himself hiding in the corner, not wanting to interrupt
Misato and Kaji, even though they weren't really naked like he saw.
"Misato." He smiled softly. "Reliving old memories?"
Her voice was there, though her body wasn't. "Shinji..." it gasped.
"I... I didn't want you to see this..."
"I'm sorry..." he whispered out loud as the two lovers decided that they
should make the best of their nakedness and refine their abilities
further. "I didn't mean to intrude..." he said.
The soft kissing and wet sounds began to fill the air, but Misato didn't
seem to be worried about that. "I didn't want you to see why..." she
said.
Finally, she appeared next to him, watching the display with a hint
of...anger? "Why are you angry at this?" Shinji asked.
"Because." Misato turned to him. "I was like this because I needed to
feel alive. Not because I loved him." She sighed. "At least, not yet."
"But..." Shinji looked to her. "If you hate this...then why drift to it?
Why think of it? We...we all don't have flesh anymore, so what's the
point?"
"I wanted to feel it again." She whispered. "It does hurt me...a lot.
To this day, I wished that I could have been like you, Shinji-kun. To
wait until I was sure. Completely in love, filled up to the brim until I
burst." She smiled at the two lovers. "But this is a good thing too. A
summer love that could have meant nothing, but turned into something
special." She turned away. "Not every thing can be like a fairy tale,
Shinji."
"I know that." He said quickly, slightly frustrated. "I know about that
part, Misato."
Misato walked away from him, but around the room, as if to see the two
making love in a different light. "My life didn't turn out like I had
hoped. I made many mistakes, and forgot things I should have remembered.
But there isn't one day that goes by that I don't think I'm a better
person." She smiled up at him. "I can look at this now and know I have
come a long way. That we all have." She closed her eyes. "And I want to
keep going. I don't want to just remember. I want to live."
"And get hurt..." Shinji sighed.
Misato frowned. "Yes. I want to get hurt. I want to feel pain. If
that's what has to happen for me to feel the rest of life too, then I'll
gladly accept it all."
There was a long pause as the two lovers finished their movement,
returning to a more peaceful state of respite. Misato watched Shinji for
that time, then shook her head. "What about you? What do you think of
here?"
"I don't know." Shinji admitted, the room fading out of existence. "I...
I don't really think of anything." He breathed. "It's peaceful."
Misato began to fade, and she seemed to know time was almost gone for
her. "Shinji-kun...what do you remember that made the pain worth it?"
Shinji turned away, not sure if he wanted to think about it. "I..."
"What made waking up in the morning worth while?" Misato asked as she was
returned to the nothingness around her. "What made you glad you were
alive?"
Two questions, now.
Instead of answers, more questions. Even in this place of no barriers,
one remained.
He wanted to join. He wanted to give up. He wanted to be happy again.
It didn't matter how it happened.
"You can't join them for a reason, son." Yui said, a warm hand on his
shoulder followed the voice. "You're not ready. I hope you never will
be." she sighed, hugging him as they watched the field of ghosts drifting
around them.
"Why did you do this to me?" Shinji whispered. "All of this was for
nothing. It was all just a game I never asked to be part of."
"Life is not a game." Yui said. "And it is not fair to think your
parents are responsible for all your misfortunes. If that was so,
parenthood would be unbearable." she sighed. "You can't imagine how hard
it is to watch you grow up without me...watching the plans I made and
helped make cause you pain..." she shook her head. "But you are stronger
now. You learned to take the good and the bad and make them both part of
your life."
"I am weak." Shinji turned to her, eyes lowered but unclouded. "I'm
alone, and I want this all to go away."
"Then why do you stay?" Yui said.
The emptiness faded to form substance, yellow and red changed to solid
metal forms, and before the massive red mask of Unit-02, Shinji saw
himself. Yui had her eyes closed, concentrating on the image. He was on
the walkway, sitting next to Asuka.
He watched himself raise the gun to his head, remembering the act as a
dream so long ago. However, this time, he saw that, just before his
finger went to the trigger, it was firmly on the Safety switch.
The click echoed out long and hard, the scene stopping as he saw Asuka's
eyes wide, thinking she would have seen a spray of blood a moment later.
"But..." he whispered as the scene faded a bit more...this time, Shinji
was alone, the gun to his head. "I...I thought it was..."
"You knew Asuka needed a push." Yui said softly. "And weather or not you
knew you would live didn't matter. The fact is that there is still
something inside of you that loves life. That didn't want to give up so
easily." She smiled. "It's the exact reason why you're still here. Why
you're not part of...this." she whispered, motioning to the endless dull
glow of billions of souls.
"Asuka." He sighed. "Is it because I love her?"
"Yes." Yui smiled. "And no. If it were that easy, you'd already be
either lost or back on shore."
He slumped to the 'ground', sitting next to the frozen image of himself
with the gun. "I don't want to do this...I'm not strong enough..." he
whispered.
"Just like you had refused to pilot Unit-01?" Yui asked softly, kneeling
down with her son. "And yet, when it came time to save innocent lives,
you proved you had the strength and talent to do so."
"It was luck." Shinji frowned. "And you, Mother."
Yui frowned back, then stood. "You overestimate me, Shinji. What you
saw and felt on that day was none of my doing. What you fought for and
how you succeeded was not instrumented by your Father or anyone else...
despite the pleasure he took from watching it."
Shinji let out a long sigh. "Go away."
Yui sighed, but disappeared. "In time, you'll see the truth."
"I don't want truth." He whispered, closing his eyes. "I don't want
anything."
"SQUEEEEK!"
The noise brought Shinji out of his dreamless sleep, and he found himself
sitting next to a boy, holding a cello. Jayce frowned, mockingly. "Took
you long enough to get here, Shinji. I was about to think you didn't
want to hear my music!"
Shinji sighed, slumping over in his seat a bit more. "I'm sorry, Jayce-
san. I shouldn't be here right now. I'm in a strange mood."
"Good!" Jayce beamed happily. "It will give me a chance to cheer you up!
Like you did for me!"
Shinji blinked, then looked up. "I cheered you up?"
"Of course! What good is a musician who has no audience to play for?"
A brief thought crossed his brain and Shinji smiled. "If Unit-01 falls
on the moon, would anyone hear?"
Jayce ignored the odd comment and tapped his bow on the edge of his
cello. "I will now play for you." He stated officially.
Shinji had been expecting his song, but the boy surprised him by playing
something he had never heard before. It was fast...upbeat and amazing.
He found himself gawking slightly as the song wound up into a hailstorm
of wonderful notes weaved together as he had never heard. Something by a
recent composer? Or was it a song he hadn't heard before?
At the end, Jayce smiled and finished with a long bow-draw, producing a
perfect ending to the quick piece. He then bowed his head, not bothering
for modesty. "Well? I assume I have honoured my good teacher?"
Shinji bowed his head quickly and nodded. "That was amazing! What song
was it?"
Jayce smiled, then turned red slightly. "I made it myself. It's called
Blurry Hurricane." He grinned. "I think it turned out rather well, don't
you?"
Shinji laughed and nodded, finally rising to give him a proper ovation.
"It was quite excellent!" Indeed, he even felt as if his mood had been
tossed back up in the air, instead of resting on the ground, useless.
"Don't worry, my good teacher." He said, suddenly serious. "During the
concert, I will play your song as well. I have been practicing on that
one the most."
Shinji blinked and looked around the empty room. "Concert?"
He laughed. "Of course! Bring whoever you want to along. It will be
quite a night to remember!"
Despite himself, Shinji felt quite excited at the prospect. "I...I don't
know...h...how much time do I have?"
"When you come back next, I'll play for you and all your friends." Jayce
said proudly. "Don't worry about invitations. I will be practicing
until you get back."
Shinji smiled, bowed, and was gone in a flash as he melted into the
shadows.
As he reappeared, he found himself in the classroom again.
Kaoru-Sensei, Rei, and his mother were all smiling as he walked in.
"I..." he said, then paused as he noticed their faces. "What?"
Sensei shrugged. "What? I didn't say anything, Mister Ikari."
Rei was smiling softly and nodded. "Hai. I too."
Yui smiled and walked over to him. "A concert?"
Shinji blinked, then smiled. "Hai! My friend is inviting us all to a
concert!"
"Well, we can't keep him waiting, then." Yui said to the others.
"I agree." Rei said. "Ikari-kun, would you like everyone to be there?"
He nodded happily. "Of course!"
Miyazaki walked over to him and sighed. "Your Father may be busy, you
know. He may not want to come."
Shinji looked away, but sighed. "It's up to him." He looked up at his
teacher. "But I want you all to hear this! My friend Jayce is very
good!"
"Well, we'll have to be there!" came a familiar voice. Shinji turned
around and smiled as he saw most of the class standing before
him...including Toji and Hikari. The boy smiled and nodded.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Maya said happily, off to his side,
hanging onto the arm of a slightly embarrassed, but smiling Ritsuko.
When he turned back to his mother, a blushing, but extremely happy
looking Fuyutsuki was standing next to her. "NERV will love to extend an
official presence at this event, young mister Shinji."
Yui grinned and turned to him. "Why, Kozo, I didn't know you could be so
official!"
Despite the group around him, he still felt someone was missing. Indeed,
his father was not here...but he seemed lost in that dark place.
But...
What of Asuka?
Toji walked over to him, as if hearing his thought. Maybe he did.
"She'll be there, man. You'll see."
Shinji closed his eyes and nodded. "You're right."
The next time he opened them, they were in the concert hall again.
It seemed open to the sky...and yet, there were no stars in this place.
Soft lights seemed to flicker off in the distance. Souls of those still
solid enough to enjoy the music had gathered around this place, willed
into being by the people sitting there. They all seemed foggy, fading,
and yet, everyone was there.
Everyone except Asuka.
Shinji looked hard for her, but it was clear she was not in the audience.
The great theatre seemed to go on forever, though, and he simply excused
it as his inability to see her.
Jayce was up on stage, looking around in delight at the crowd gathered to
hear him. "And you wondered why I asked you to be my teacher!" he
laughed.
Shinji found himself sitting next to him, smiling. "I still wonder,
actually."
Jayce motioned across the audience. "I knew you had the power to see
them..." he whispered. "I tried, but nobody would come. Nobody I knew."
He looked at him with a bit of envy, but also, great admiration. "You're
a lot stronger than I am. I knew when you faded into my dream."
Finally, with a crowd assembled, faces patiently waiting, Jayce raised
his bow and, without even a word of introduction or reasons why, he began
to play his song about the hurricanes.
Shinji watched in amazement as the faces around him became solid again.
Real. Wanting to hear the song. Wanting to feel the music. Faces he
knew...some he didn't...more and more seemed to fill the expanse before
his eyes. Misato and Kaji watched together, smiling happily and
whispering their approving comments to each other. Kozo and Yui amazed,
and with bright faces. Maya resting her head on Ritsuko's shoulder, and
the eldest not minding a bit, eyes closed to enjoy the music and the
feelings of love. Miyazaki and Rei, though not lovers, were together as
friends, watching the show with bright smiles. Rei had her eyes closed
and moved her head to the notes as they were produced. Kensuke, Toji and
Hikari all cheering with silent smiles. The latter two obviously holding
hands, and Kensuke not even bothering to spoil the moment by producing
his camcorder.
Sometimes, he could see the outline of his father. The flicker of
glasses...the bearded frown...yet, he seemed to want to be there.
Random people he had known in his life. His old teachers were there
sometimes. Workers at NERV who he thought were dead. Images of people
not from Japan, but from all around the world as they brought by their
strong hearts to the wonderful sound of music filling them again with
life.
And as the song came to a close, there was a new sound. A climactic
explosion of cheering and clapping as the crowd lit up with sound and
movement.
Jayce was obviously overwhelmed by the reaction, but he managed, after a
long moment of turning bright red under the attention, to stand up and
bow.
The crowd roared again with pleasure, happy to give him the attention he
very well deserved.
"Now!" Jayce announced, causing the crowd to quiet down enough for him to
speak. "I would like to ask my distinguished teacher, Shinji, to join me
for a song."
Shinji turned to him, surprised. All argument was drown out by the
thunderous clapping from the audience, however. As if to seal his fate,
there was a soft glimmer near his seat as his cello appeared.
Before, he may have ignored it. His mind was still cloudy with confusion
and anger towards himself and everyone involved with Eva...
But it was all forgotten when his fingers felt the soft, warm surface of
music again. Faults in the wood grain that he had never noticed before,
yet were familiar as the whole instrument, greeted his skin. It all
seemed surreal, yet it all seemed right. Time slowed, the lights dimmed
and peace filled him like the first time he held it.
Long moments passed as he picked it up and moved over to the stool next
to Jayce. "It's been a while..." he whispered.
"Nonsense." Jayce smiled brightly. "You're a natural."
The first time had been different. The cello seemed so huge compared to
his tiny hands, yet he tried to use it like his old teacher had done so.
It was next to impossible to hold the thing up, let alone finish a song
without yelling and storming off.
He drew the bow across the strings and the world seemed to resonate with
the song. All across the world, it was heard. The blind and deaf were
drawn to the sound of the music. Those who never knew a song such as
this could feel it all at once, pure and wonderful. Every note was
perfect; echoing with feeling as well as timing. An audience of untold
millions listened without breath or thought. Everyone let the sound fill
their souls with a new vigour.
It was warm and sweet as honey. Smooth as water and addictive as the
finest wine. It was far too short and sweet, and yet, just right. As
the song finished and he lowered his bow, there was no clapping. No
sound of applause and cheer.
Just the approving, caring smiles of all those he knew, and the
admiration from a billion lost souls who he never met.
Finally, after a long heartbeat, Jayce began to clap. The sound caught
on, but this time, with those who mattered most. His mother. His
friends. His teachers.
"Bravo!" Jayce exclaimed over the sound of cheers.
An echoing chorus of Bravo! And Well Done! Shinji smiled, despite his
mood, looking up at Jayce. "Who did you play your song for?"
Jayce blinked, and the world became silent again.
"My father." Jayce said, quietly.
Shinji looked up at him with a grim smile. "Me too. Long time ago...I
thought I would learn cello for myself. To prove something to myself."
"That you could make him proud..." Jayce said, eyes lowered. "Maybe, get
him to notice..."
"But they're not out there." Shinji said, looking around. "Are they."
They both looked up, as if they could scan the entire crowd in the span
of a glance. Maybe they did. It was so hard to tell in this place.
However, no amount of searching would reveal those who they wished to
play for.
Waiting, patiently, the audience was silent before them.
Finally, Jayce raised his bow and began to play a new song. The
beginnings of a tune Shinji had heard somewhere before, and then laughed,
joining in, as he recognized a part of "Peter and the Wolf".
"Who are you playing for now?" Shinji asked, watching Jayce play, hoping
not to break his concentration.
"Me." Jayce said with a huff.
Right about that time, he pulled the bow too hard, and there was a
horrible TWING sound! Everyone gasped as they saw the bow had snapped.
Shinji stopped playing, and the crowd of souls seemed to whisper,
wondering what was happening.
Jayce looked down at his bow with a shocked expression, as if it just
came out and slapped him. "It...broke..."
The world began to fade, even with people watching in surprise. Shinji
looked around and quickly put down his cello as he saw Jayce begin to
flicker out of his mind. "Wait!"
The young boy suddenly looked very sleepy. His eyes lowered and he
turned to Shinji with an almost blank look. "It's okay...maybe...I
should just stop for now...anyways..."
"You can't!" Shinji said, frantic. His hands faded through the boy as he
tried to shake him back awake, and when he looked up, Jayce was even more
ghostly, turning into another fading soul. "You can't give up yet! You
just started the song!"
Jayce blinked, but kept fading. "But..."
"You still have an audience!" Shinji said, pointing to the crowd around
them...now almost gone except for the watching eyes. "You still have a
chance to make music! And now you even have someone to play for!" he
smiled, though it was clear he was shaking. "You have to play for
yourself. You can't play for people who don't want to hear. Not
anymore."
Jayce closed his eyes, but just before he faded away, he nodded. "You're
right!"
The world snapped back into existence around them. Back on the stage,
surrounded by everyone. His bow was still broken, but his cello waited
for him.
Shinji watched with relief as Jayce picked up his bow, turned to him and
nodded. "I'll be right back. I just need to get another bow." He said
simply.
And then was gone.
Gone.
"Jayce-san!" Shinji gasped, looking around. He couldn't hear him
anymore. There was no thought. No voice in his mind. The memories...
gone.
His mother was next to him, all of a sudden. He looked up at her,
begging for an explanation. She smiled. "You made him remember."
Shinji shook his head. "Remember what?"
Life.
And so, Jayce was back.
Back where? On Earth? Was there even an Earth to go back to?
The crowd gathered around him, waiting, watching. Yui walked up to him
and placed a hand on his shoulder as he looked at the spot where Jayce
had been.
"What happens now?" Shinji asked as he looked up.
Even as he did, three people next to him faded away. Leaving. More
began to fade out as well, returning to the world away from this place.
Some of them smiling happily, the others humming favourite songs, or
finding and returning with loved ones and family.
Before each of them left, however, they turned to Shinji and seemed to
reach out to him.
Thanking him.
"Now, people will return." Yui said, looking around and noticing the slow
migration herself. "Those who can. Those who remember. Those who don't
are still trapped here, waiting for you, Shinji-kun."
Shinji nodded and walked back over to his cello. "Waiting for me." He
whispered, staring at the instrument for a moment. "To remember?"
Yui sat down next to him and nodded. Soon, Rei and Miyazaki were with
him, standing beside Yui. Rei looked around. "I am bound to this place,
Ikari-kun." She said softly. "But I do not have the same power you have.
The same joy and pain. Only you can show them why they must live. Why
they have to withstand the pain."
Kaoru nodded, looking around as well. "I'm hoping that I will no longer
exist as I knew it, Shinji. That you will change all this into something
better." He smiled. "You already have. I don't have a life to go back
to, and I hope the future version of myself is much happier. However, I
can stay here and help the people who can't remember."
"Eva was not meant to ease everyone's pain, Shinji. It is a way for us
to survive for all time." Yui reached out and held his hand in hers. It
was wonderfully real and warm to him...a feeling he wished to experience
again for a decade since. "Human beings are meant to suffer...but not
because they are pitiful creatures, or evil, nor damned." She leaned
forward. "You know the answer is within you. The thing that your
Father, and thousands like him will never understand."
Shinji looked at her with sad, but understanding eyes. "I know." He
said. "And...I think I can learn to accept it now."
More souls departed them with great thanks, but billions were still left,
waiting.
"I don't know if I understand all of it..." Shinji whispered. "And I
know that I may not live up to it. But I think I can learn to love
myself again." He looked at Rei and Kaoru with a weak smile. "I think I
can learn to love life again."
Rei smiled softly back and nodded. Kaoru sighed in relief, nodding as
well. "Then you passed, Shinji."
Yui laughed softly, hugging her son. "And don't worry, my son. Answers
will come to you. But only if you look for them. Even the very wisest
cannot know all the answers to life, or we all would have given up long
ago."
The three of them stood, as if understanding what had to be done next.
"Will you be okay, Shinji?" Kaoru asked as he handed him his cello. "Do
you want us to stay?"
Rei handed his bow to him and nodded. "We can stay until you have to
leave yourself."
Yui leaned over and kissed Shinji's forehead softly. "I know you'll find
her, son. Don't worry."
"Thank you." Shinji said, trying not to let the tears be too apparent,
but failing. "I'll be fine. All of you have helped me so much...but..."
There is still one more thing.
As he raised his bow, he remembered the song he wished to play. His
three most valued friends began to fade. He wondered briefly if he would
see his Mother again...on the other side.
And began to play the Kanon D-Dur Quartet. The same song he remembered
playing with his friends during the concert so very long ago.
Lifetimes ago.
His cello began to play wonderful, smooth notes. Each stepped in time to
provide substance to the other instruments that would join him in such a
song. Not like the solo songs he was practiced at...not like the ones he
loved to play as his own.
Rei was there. Somewhere with him. Invisible, but her Viola was
unmistakable. The sound joined with his, forming the second layer of
music to compliment the base.
The lighter, higher sound was joined with a chorus of whispers. As
Shinji looked up, he was surprised to say the least. A stream of souls
began to flow past him. Away from this place. Soft eyes and voiceless
whispers from each. Some thanked him. Some wished him luck. Some were
crying with joy...others sighing in expectation of pain. However, even
those souls left in time, after being charged by the song.
Rei's music was then joined by another sound. Kaoru's own violin. While
it was a simple piece to play, it complimented Rei's sound somewhere
between the cello and her own. Both their hearts were in the music, that
much he could tell. Feel.
The flickering of light was everywhere now. Swirling around the lonely
concert hall, a sea of light, slowly circling towards the earth somewhere
above. Away from this false heaven, back to a real world.
Shinji watched the light play off the tears in his eyes, praying with all
in his soul that he would remember all of them. Each of those he heard
and saw. He knew it would never be possible to meet them all again. Nor
to thank them all.
It continued for lifetimes. Ages. Or maybe, just a few minutes.
Oddly enough, the song seemed to fit just right. As the final few
souls...those he knew...friends and classmates...were whisked away on
their own memories.
And then a sound he had longed to hear.
More than breath.
More than life itself.
More than his Father's praise.
More than anything else in this world or the next.
The answer to all his questions and tests.
Part of all his most treasured dreams.
The joining of a violin, as the apex of the song came to be.
She was not so faded. She was there. Real. Not invisible. Not hiding
in the dark with the others.
Asuka played the lead, of course. Her soft, red hair moving with her
body as she drew the bow back and forth. Her eyes closed, focused on the
song. On her part. On joining with the others.
She seemed to be sitting next to him, at first. Shinji dared not look
over, but he could feel her presence. Tears ran down his cheeks, and
yet, he would not stop playing. He forced himself to finish the song.
His dreams were not of her.
They were not wishing for her.
They were to be with her.
To love being with her.
To be with them all.
As Shinji Ikari closed his eyes, he could see all of them beside him,
playing.
Sensei Kaoru was now young...his grandson in some other time, and
hopefully, the future still. His eyes were bright and strong. Tempered
by a life Shinji hoped to give him. He saw Shinji watching and smiled as
he played. He looked like a younger combination of his two grandparents.
Their strength and dreams combined.
Rei was across from him in the circle. Her messy hair was drawn back to
accentuate her long, white neck, and the red-wood instrument she was
playing with them. Her eyes were soft and full of passion; all of which
was evident in her music. The cold, frozen young woman of so long ago
was a distant memory best left to the past.
As the song, ended, though, there was still someone playing with him.
He opened his eyes and found Asuka was across from him in the empty
theatre. Tears were shimmering down her cheeks, but she looked to be
pristinely happy. Her eyes opened and she smiled softly as she saw him
gazing back at her.
They played together for a long time. The quartet faded until only the
two of them remained.
She held onto the song for a long time. Shinji would later learn that
she had been scared of stopping...as if the dream would come to an end
and she would lose him once more.
He stood slowly, and stopped her song by gently cupping her chin with his
hand. Asuka looked up, scared at first in the first moment of silence,
but then breathed out a long breath she had been holding for both of
them.
Both lay down their instruments and stood together, eye to eye. Without
another word, they embraced in a timeless, silent kiss.
It was dark now.
The only light came from where they walked together.
"Shinji-kun." She whispered. Her voice sweeter to him than any song.
"Hai?" he whispered back, holding her hand tightly as they moved through
this endless place.
"Let's go home."
Shinji took a long, clear breath and nodded. "Hai."
Neon Genesis Evangelion
The End of Higher Learning
Take care of yourself
"ARGH! NOT AGAIN!" Asuka cried out as the alarm pierced the calm of the
morning.
She scrambled herself out of bed, nearly falling out once she got to the
end. However, Shinji was already there. He looked up at her with a
sleepy expression as his hand hit the 'SNOOZE' button on the clock.
"You're louder than the alarm clock, honey." He said with a cracked
voice, still mostly asleep.
The red-head frowned, looking down at him as he curled back up into the
blankets and stuck his head under the pillow. "It's the only way you
wake up on time." She stuck out her tongue, then grinned and slid back
into the covers with him.
After the lumps within the blankets moved for a bit, Shinji began to
giggle. "Stop that..."
"You have to get up!" Asuka said, muffled from under the blankets as she
began to tickle him faster. "As your loving wife, I refuse to let you
sleep in on such an important day!"
"No fair!" Shinji began to laugh, then tried to scramble away from her
deadly fingers...to no avail. "AARGH! Wait!"
"Ha hahahaha!" Asuka found her opening and as he squirmed to get away,
she pounced on him and pinned him down with tickles until he was
laughing, red in the face and trying to breathe.
"OKAY!" he gasped out between laughs. "You win!"
She grinned and leaned down to kiss him. "That's better." She whispered,
framing her husband with her hair.
"It's all your fault..." Shinji said, short of breath. "If we hadn't
been up all night..." he turned bright red.
"It's not my fault." Winked Asuka as she darted out from under the
covers, completely naked. Shinji raised his eyebrow with a silly grin on
his face as she called back. "I thought university guys were still full
of stamina!" she grinned, poking her head back out from behind the door.
"It's only my first day." He pouted, finally able to stretch out and wake
up to his own accord. "You're used to this!"
After a bit more waking up, he joined her in the bathroom. She was
fussing with the shower, but finally got it working. "Damn apartment
buildings. I swear it will be another year before they fix all this
damage."
"I have already stated the Third Impact wasn't my fault." He said
playfully, kissing along her back as he passed by.
"Many times, Third Child." Asuka shivered, but tried to seem angry at
him. It was getting harder and harder...especially with those little
kisses.
Of course, everyone knew. Things had returned pretty much to normal so
far after the Third Impact. Some remembered him...the concert...but most
just nodded a friendly hello as they passed him. He always nodded back;
remembering faces and dreams, if not names.
Shinji and Asuka Langley Ikari now shared a dorm apartment on the
outskirts of the Tokyo University campus. Due to the ties with NERV...as
well as other things...it was probably three times the space most
students could afford, and had once belonged to one of the department
heads and his family.
Mornings were usually spent just trying to start the day clothed and fed,
but Shinji always found himself walking throughout their home as Asuka
got washed up. His hand traced over items from the past. Over the sync-
hair-band that Asuka had long since abandoned. Tracing over the framed
diplomas of their graduation, and the acceptance letters from Tokyo
University. Another frame on the wall displayed their wedding pictures.
Shinji in a sharp black tuxedo, and Asuka proudly clothed in a wedding
dress that was put to shame by nothing. Their friends and family around
them with bright smiles.
Off to the side was a concert poster. Black and white letters exclaimed
that Jayce Hauger and his cello would be playing that Sunday in London,
England. The boy...now much older than what Shinji remembered...was
proudly standing next to his instrument on the page.
"Jayce called last night." Shinji said in the direction of the bathroom.
"Ooh! How's he doing!?" Asuka asked excitedly. "Did his wife get over
that cold?"
Shinji smiled. "It wasn't a cold. She's pregnant."
Asuka gasped out and poked her head out from the door...still drying off
her hair with a towel. "That's wonderful! We'll have to send some
flowers!"
While there was no family to speak of...yet...Asuka had told him that it
would be a wonderful place for when they decided to have children. After
all, it was destined they had kids now. Couldn't disappoint. (Or so she
said as an excuse to not look like she wanted kids)
Of course...Shinji wasn't exactly too sure. Asuka always had a little
extra grin on her lips lately when they passed by a baby or someone asked
how they were doing on the Grandchildren.
He just sighed happily and took it all in stride, these days. There
would be plenty of time for that. Soon. Later. It didn't matter.
They walked across the campus every morning. It was beautiful this time
of year. Seasons had slowly returned to the world and the Autumn colours
were in full swing. Leaves fell and blanketed the green parks with rich
sprinkles of reds and yellows. The trees were still full, though, and
boasted their plumage like proud peacocks.
Each wore the dark, navy-blue garb of their new institution. Asuka had
been quite pleased that the skirt matched her eyes so well. Working on
her Masters Degree gave her the excuse to join him in class (often as a
teachers assistant). Shinji couldn't be happier, despite the fact she
always called him up to work out problems on the board.
Marble white and grey plaster buildings formed most of the University.
The main hall was adjacent to a huge, man-made pond that had been placed
in front.
No water was in the pool, rather, like hundreds more like it across the
world, it held the yellow-orange LCL-like liquid that was still left from
the Third Impact.
At the bottom of each, a bronze plaque was attached to the stone. In ten
languages, it read:
"Though lost in the darkness, you are not forgotten. -2020 AD"
It was a simple tribute to those who hadn't come back yet. Who were
still lost in their false heaven. Sometimes, you could see people
sitting beside the pools, talking to lost loved ones. It was rare, now,
over a year after the mass exodus out of the pools, but nobody thought it
to be silly when they saw it.
Once in a while, someone would come out. Proof that they were listening.
Wanting to become real again. Learning how to love life once more.
However, it was still quite rare. Some souls simply weren't ready.
Shinji knew that best of all. The ones who knew the saga of Eva were
quite happy to hear of no reappearances of the SEELE members.
He had spent a few days like that. Talking to his Father. Telling him
of his life. How things were going. How nervous he was at his wedding,
but how happy he was afterwards. How Mother was doing. Both she and
Kozo were actually teaching again at the University now. Yui still had
hope for Gendo, but she seemed to be happy with being back, with or
without.
They had spent months together, making up for the lost time over the last
ten years. Eventually, though, Shinji and Asuka saw that she was tired.
Tired of Eva. Tired of it all.
Tired of hearing about the past. How much it hurt them both.
Yui and Kozo had become close, but as far as anyone knew, and Shinji
believed, she still loved his Father. Someone had to. However, she had
gained great friends, both old and new, and was hardly lonely.
He would tell Kaoru-Sensei that Pen-Pen was still okay, and not giving
away any secrets. Pen-Pen, of course, referring to Kaoru's partner.
After the exodus, Pen-Pen had been found, talking to himself. The other
Pen-Pen had been quite confused, but seemed to harbour no hard feelings
against his future self. The two of them still sneak out for poker on
Friday Nights.
Amazing what a little alcohol could help things along.
Misato, of course, was none the wiser, as the original, pre-Third Impact
Pen-Pen still lived with her, and she couldn't quite understand all the
'Waugh's' just yet.
He remembered laughing about the whole thing. Asking if Kaoru was still
in the pool, now that it was almost certain the future would be
different.
Better.
Or at least there was hope now.
As they walked past, they were silent. Both Asuka and Shinji had lost
people to the pool. She had lost her father, probably to his desire to
try to be with her mother again inside Unit-02. All the Evas were
useless husks now...except for Unit-01.
Who had just past the asteroid belt.
The ultimate time capsule. The ever-enduring proof of humanity. They
had gotten that, at least. While nobody could be sure, Shinji was
convinced it remembered on it's own, now. That if it remembered their
memories, and hopes and dreams...
Maybe it was all worth it after all.
The pools and bits of debris and earthquake damage were all that remained
of Eva's legacy. Most of NERV was dismantled except for the Magi, who
were moved to the University. The surviving three Evas had been locked
away under the rubble of the Geofront in giant cooling tanks; only
studied by the few people who were still involved. Doctors Ibuki and
Akagi both lead that division, and taught polymath on the side. (though
Shinji suspected they spent the long nights at the office for other
reasons than marking term-papers...as did many of the other students)
Toji and Kensuke opened up an electronics shop back in Tokyo-2 and were
happy and healthy. Hikari had moved in with Toji last time he heard, and
the two were still happily in love. Kensuke was planning on joining the
military, last time he had called, and said that it would be to pay for
University. Toji and Hikari were taking the time off to live and
work...but promised Shinji and Asuka they would all join the University
together when the time was right.
Even Misato seemed happier these days. A child on the way, and a very
embarrassed, but proud father Kaji. The rest of NERV went their separate
ways, but once in a while, they all would gather for a drink or two and
enjoy the memories that were over and done with...and share the new ones
that were present, and to come.
It wasn't until the second heartbeat that he realized Rei was standing in
the pool.
Shinji stopped walking, wide eyes.
Rei Ayanami stood there in her school uniform of old, smiling at him. He
opened his mouth to say something, when Kaoru-Sensei appeared before him
as well. The older man smiled and nodded.
Asuka noticed when he wasn't keeping up and turned on her heel, frowning.
"Shinji, we're going to be..."
She paused when she saw the slight ripple on the pool.
He stood there for a long moment, now seeing nothing except memories.
Finally, though, he turned to her and smiled. "Sorry...we should get
going."
Asuka was quiet as they walked up to the building. Finally, though:
"What did they say?" she asked softly, guessing at what he had just been
witness to.
Shinji turned to her, took her hand, and kissed her gently on the lips.
"That my father says hello...and is proud of us both."
Asuka blushed slightly. "Anything else?"
"Yes." Shinji said, opening the door to the main hall for her.
She paused, but then smiled and took his hand without another word.
To all of you: Congratulations.
Fini.
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Neon Genesis Evangelion, created by Studio Gainax and Hideaki Anno.
Website at www.gainax.co.jp
N.G.E. Higher Learning, written by Strike Fiss, 2000-2002.
e-mail at strikef@bigfoot.com
Other works by the author can be found on his Website:
www.studioshinnyo.com OR
www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110
Respect and thanks go out to the creators of the series, the die-hard
fans, and all those who helped shape this and future fan fiction. Please
honour all property and intellectual rights of all involved, and keep fan
fiction a vital, and treasured, part of the Anime Universe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's final notes:
--------------------
Well, it's been fun, but, All Good Things, neh? ^_^
Two years and literally hundreds of pages have gone past in this little
epic, if I dare say it is one. I hope that, above all else, it makes
fans of the series happy, and invites those who have not yet experienced
Eva to seek it out.
It's been an interesting experience for me, as well. I wish my life
hadn't gotten so turbulent and busy while writing this, or it may have
been much better, and taken less time to produce and enjoy. However,
with all's said and done, I have no regrets, and I am already itching to
write again. ^_^
My venture into the Eva Fanfic world started as a joke, basically, to see
if I could compete with some of the bigger writers out there. I was
surprised to quickly find myself along side them (at least to some
people) and I enjoyed the ride quite a bit.
With this, The End of Higher Learning, I was not seeking a huge
revelation. Nor a completely upturned plot. I did not want a 'Happy
Ending', nor a bad one with snappier English dialogue. With all the
changes that happened before, and are shown to happen after, I wanted
this moment to retain as much of the original feeling as I could muster
it to hold. I wanted it to be gradual. Understandable. Something that
combined the sheer impact of the End of Evangelion saga with the
resolution and philosophy of the last two Series Episodes.
I can only hope I succeeded enough for at least you, the good reader, to
fill in my mistakes, both purposeful and accidental, with your
imagination.
The paragraphs used after each Lesson in this story are from my own life.
(yes, my parents told me to make sure anyone trying to fight me wouldn't
be able to get off a second punch, basically. ^_^) I hope they make
sense. Even if you've lived a completely different life.
As for those not yet in University or perhaps, still in Grade or Junior
High-School, I hope that you know the value of your education. ^_^ It
gets a lot harder later on if you quit now.
Finally, I would like to give a few shout-outs to people, places, things,
etc, that have helped, inspired, or otherwise made me smiley when all
this was going on.
To my wonderful, weird, loving family and EVERYTHING they've done for me.
Mom and Dad, of course, for keeping me happy and healthy while I was too
stupid to know better, pulling me out of crisis and tight squeeze time
after time, and keeping me in the know that, no matter what, I have them
to emulate when I try my hand at being a mythical 'Good Parent'. ^_^ To
Hooze, my sister, and my understated best friend. While we can't hang
out nearly as much as we used to, I am proud to be her brother, and hope
that siblings around the world enjoy their company as much as I have
enjoyed hers. With great art, story, and imagination, Hooze is indeed an
amazing artist. All of you should pay her money and get art from her.
^_^ Also, to my extended family, such as the wonderful Old Goats (yeah,
you know who you are. ^_^) for great advice, good food, but above all
else, wonderful friends and young hearts. Thank you, and I love you all!
To Asenia, love of my life, fellow traveler, and fellow writer. I really
don't know how these last years would have turned out without her. No
matter how I look at it, no matter how much I deduce, and no matter how
much I guess at the 'other' side of things, I know that she has made my
life a million times richer and happier (though she probably doesn't
think so. ^_^ So modest!) Despite what some may think, she did not slow
down my writing...and in fact, kept me going through the bad times. It's
official, now, honey, you have to write lots so you can get me back and
put my name in the 'Thanks' list. Hehe. Thank you for all your support
and love!
Ahh yes, and now, to the group of weirdoes I have been living with, or
around, for the last two and a half years. To the House of Love, and
now, to the House of L33T, I salute you! Tozetre, Binky, and Overfiend,
of course, being my core supporters and roommates. Thanks for all the
fun, weirdness, and crazy shit we've gotten into. ^_^ To the good Noble
Sheldon, I hope he hasn't given up his dream of art as well. To the
others, such as Bryon "Devil Man", Decker/Phatboi, Jen, Austin,
(Basically the whole Kneverwave crew), and a dozen more, thanks for
everything, and I promise I'll write more hentai for you in the future.
Of course, MAJOR thanks go out to the other fanfic writers (who I have
mentioned multiple times already, but still), the Tako Balls awards and
everyone who voted, people who keep us on our toes such as Sarevock and
Rion, the Fanfic Yakuza, (www.darkscribes.org/FY/index.htm) and all those
involved with pre-reading, checking, and helpful comments in general.
Extra special thanks to this final version goes to the Evangelion Message
Boards at Evangelion.com, for helping spot the holes I have long
forgotten about...and helping me guess at what all your guesses were to
keep you guessing. ^_^
MAJOR MAJOR THANKS go out to my pre-readers: Rion, Sarevock, Axel and
Myssa for all your help in the last stages of this fic.
WORD TO ALL MY HOMIES AT ANIME-ALBERTA AND BAKA! See you all at
Anamathon in Edmonton this summer, and September's Otafest in Calgary!
(I'll be the crazy looking guy with a trench coat and bokken trying not
to get arrested) I recommend the Hellsing and Noir viewings. Most
excellent!
Other keen props go out to Palm Inc, and Blue Nomad software, who without
my wonderful Aki (Palm m505) and WordSmith, Higher Learning would still
be 7 Lessons ago.
Sorry, no Omake. ^_^ I'm tired, and there are wolves after me.
Awwwooo!
However, as you all have noticed, there is plenty of loose ends to tie up
and have fun with. If nothing else, I hope this inspires a few fanfics
to branch off and have fun with what I laid down. Enjoy!
Anyway, thank you all for reading. I hope it was worth your time, and I
hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I have! And at least homework will
seem much shorter. Hehe.
Thank you, and goodnight.
V.T.S.I.
Strike Fiss, Studio Shinnyo 2002. Khattam-Shud, EOF.
(
geocities.com/Tokyo/9110) (
geocities.com/Tokyo)