Neon Genesis Evangelion
Higher Learning
===============
Teacher's Edition
Lessons 31 through 40
Strike Fiss, 2001
Thirty-First Lesson: Tadaima
It was a wonderful feeling.
He decide it was so. It had to be so, since he felt to desires. No
hate, no pain and no wish to be elsewhere.
At first, he wondered if the light around him was a pool of water. If
he had slipped in the bath and hit his head. Perhaps, he was in NERV
Headquarters. After a long day, he had decided to go to the Men's
Lockers.
Shinji had always been afraid to do so. The small, out of the way
'Boy's' locker room was always there. Closer to the routes he would
take to and from Eva. He had only ventured into the Men's lockers
once, by accident. People had always been there. A hundred older men
who were always enjoying the public bath and laughing and chatting
their cares away.
He had never been comfortable with that. Nakedness. Sharing space
with someone else while being so vulnerable. Be it in good nature or
not, Shinji had never wished to become that naked...both emotionally or
physically...with anyone before. Let alone dozens of guys who would
probably just laugh at the 'little boy' trying to play with them in
their domain.
But...the one time he did accidentally peek inside, he had seen the
Bath.
A giant, swimming-pool like tub. It could have easily been one, except
it was only deep enough to sit in the middle, up to your chin in the
luxurious, hot water. On the sides, there were seats so you could
relax even a small, Shinji-ish body up to your chest and lay against
the side, letting your cares soak away.
Just once, Shinji wished he could find a time when it would just be
him.
Just him in all that wonderful water. Let the steam boil his cares
away, instead of the biting cold shower in his own locker room, or the
tiny little tub back at the Katsuragi residence.
Yes, he assumed he must be there now.
His body felt warm. Tingling with sensation, and yet, relaxed like he
felt nothing at all. The light film of water hugged his face in a
line, and he watched the ceiling while suspended in the bath.
"Feels like..." he whispered to himself, his voice echoing impossibly.
"Feels like home."
"Welcome home." Came the whisper.
Something inside of it, though, seemed tired. Worn and ragged.
He turned his head and saw an entirely new scene. The vague lights now
transformed to the outside. A small park. A man and a woman with a
baby carriage stood there, shadowed and protected by a massive camphor
tree. While the tree easily shaded them both, it was probably only a
third of it's potential size. The atmosphere smelled of a crispness
that Shinji had never known to be in this unending Tokyo-3 Summer.
Fall, he assumed. The tree seemed to be growing yellow around a few of
it's leaves. Yes...it must have been Fall...before the Second Impact.
The voice came again. What he assumed to be the female figure looked
up at him with a shadowed face. "I don't like doing this..." she
whispered to the other figure. "It seems so...evil...to be playing God
like this..."
"And yet," came the other voice...he seemed much older...wiser...yet
soft spoken and tired. Not like Father. Like someone else. "And yet
you say this is to replace God." He chuckled softly. "What else would
you have us play? Demons?"
"What scares me..." she said softly. "Is not if we will succeed or
not...Eva must succeed." A long pause. "But will he know what to do
with it?"
Eva. Familiar words. Familiar feelings. Pain, but also warmth and
something else...
"Would anyone know what to do with it?" the male's voice asked. His
shadow walked over to the woman, yet seemed to force itself to stay
way. "What we plan is something mortal minds are not capable of. What
we say is taken and twisted from words not our own."
"But Eva is our future. It must be adopted as ours." She said, turning
to the carriage. A baby boy's tiny arms reached out to his mother,
enjoying her familiar smile. "Suppose, five billion years from now.
The Earth, the Moon, and even this Sun will be gone." She shook her
head. "Eva can survive, however. She can survive on the power of a
Human Soul. It will be a lonely existence, but humanity will be
remembered forever."
A small laugh from the man. "Yui...but what of after this?"
Yui...mother...
"What human Soul would survive without others. What Soul would wish to
be alone."
"Would they really know the difference, Sensei?" Yui turned to the
older man. "You know what the Old Men will do with this. But it will
be pointless. You know what other men might do...and it will be the
same."
"But would we really know the difference, Yui?" he sighed. "What of
these moments...things before this...things before Eva. Will they
still exist? Or will we all just be a memory."
Flash.
Flash!
FLASH!
Walking. The sensation of walking washed over him.
"Where are you going?" a voice asked. It took him a moment to realize
it was his own.
"I am leaving." He answered.
"Where will you go?"
"Away from Eva." Shinji said solidly. "Away from this pain."
"What pain?" the voice asked. "You feel no pain here."
"You can not say that." Shinji said, looking around the empty city
blocks for the source of the voice. "Pain can be internal. Pain can
be caused by external things. Even things that do not seem to cause
pain."
"When why do you run away from pleasure?"
"Eva did not bring pleasure." Shinji said. "Eva brought only pain."
Two of the most argumentative people in the city watched in silent
agreement as Unit-01 was cleaned off.
Toji had been hoping mad to hear what happened to Shinji. Some kind of
bullshit story how he was 'stuck' inside Unit-01. The only thing that
was keeping him in check was the fact he needed a crutch to walk at the
moment. His leg, while the nerves had been intact, had suffered a
backlash from his experience in his Eva, and his bones received a few
delicate fractures due to the strain.
Asuka had faired much better, though looked much worse. While she had
only suffered a stray bruise and a cut to her cheek from the messy and
hasty rescue attempt by NERV's emergency crews, her mind had pretty
much stopped moving. It showed on her face as a kind of eerie calm
that did not suit her in the slightest.
"Where do you think he is?" Toji asked finally. He had been aching to
ask that for the twentieth time that day, but Asuka looked like she
wasn't in the mood to talk. He finally got tired of it, though, and
risked conversation.
Asuka looked up at Unit-01's face. The armor had been almost
completely peeled off, and had to be completely removed as it was
repaired elsewhere. White bandages the size of newspaper-press rolls
had been slung over the 'skin' beneath. Unit-01's lipless mouth was
frozen in a mocking smile. It's eyes were staring forward, unblinking,
though they looked almost alive and active.
"She has him." Asuka said finally.
"What do you mean?" Toji blinked, not really expecting that...or
any...response.
She turned to Toji with a small, knowing smile.
It scared him.
"Eva has Shinji now." The redhead whispered. "He tried to leave, so
Eva pulled him back, and won't let go."
He watched, thoroughly spooked as a tear rolled down Asuka's cheek.
"A...Asuka...it's not like that. He'll be fine."
She shook her head, then turned back to the window, watching Ritsuko
and Misato a few levels down, talking in front of the massive mummy-
like head.
"No. He's not going to be fine." She whispered sadly. "Eva won't want
to let him go."
Toji sighed, then turned, using his crutch to hobble off. "Just
because Eva won't let go of you doesn't mean it's going to trap Shinji
too." He looked back with a stern, proud glare. "And it's not going to
get me. That's for damn sure."
Class.
It seemed too late for class, though. Shinji had rarely found reason
to stay so long after class. The evening sun burned a red tint into
the walls and desks, and he wondered why he was there for a while.
A shadow was cast against the chalk board, and he recognized it to be
too thin to be his father. Sensei Kaoru. Yes, it must have been. He
was not as tiny or frail as the old Sensei either.
"Why did you come back." He demanded in a voice that, all of a sudden,
reminded Shinji way too much of his Father.
"I am the Pilot of Unit-01." Shinji stated simply.
"Why did you come back." Kaoru asked again, walking over to Shinji and
sitting down next to him. "You did not have to come back. Why did you
come back when you had no regrets about leaving?"
"I have no regrets about coming back, either." Shinji said softly. "I
made a decision of my own free will. I have no regrets."
"But you also had no regrets about leaving." Kaoru said.
"True." Shinji nodded. "Because I was not forced into leaving. I was
not forced to leave, or stay. I chose."
"Then why did you come back?"
"Everyone will die if I do nothing." Shinji whispered. "I don't want
that."
"Why not?" Kaoru asked, his tone a bit more cynical. "All around
you...pain. These people around you only serve you up to their own
means. How do you know they don't plan your so-called free-will?"
A pause. Shinji could only answer with: "I do not know. But what I
do know is that I am happiest when I can chose."
"What of the others? They cause you pain." Kaoru demanded.
"Misato-san is my friend and guardian." Shinji said proudly. "She does
not cause me pain on purpose."
"Yet she does still cause you pain. She is only acting out of kindness
because she is required to do to."
"Toji-san and Kensuke-san are my friends." Shinji maintained. "They
are my classmates and they do not cause me pain."
"They are mates with you only out of desperation." Kaoru said. "The
lonely veterans of a dying classroom."
"Asuka-chan." Shinji said. "She cares for me, and I love her. She
tells me only the truth, respecting my views and my abilities."
"A silly crush." Kaoru maintained. "One that will die in time. One
that will die and leave your heart broken."
"Sensei...you mean much to me as well..." Shinji said. "You taught me
I can think for myself and have a future. I can have a future."
The shadow looked down at Shinji with a sinister glare. It's glasses
shimmered red in the sun. "My job only. You have no future, Shinji
Ikari. A hopeful lie."
Shinji found himself strangely calm. "Yet, I have no regrets. Your
lies and deception are my reasons. My truth."
"Baka."
The shadow grew. It grew in a flash, enveloping him and the class
around him. All that was left was the cold plastic seat under him.
"Then stay here. Stay here in your perfect world." The voice growled.
"Stay and rot in this pool."
Shinji's eyes widened. "I can't."
"Why not, Shinji Ikari? You have nothing you need to run from here.
You are in your own fool's paradise." Kaoru's voice said, enveloping
him and coming down from all around. "What does it matter?"
"You misunderstand!" Shinji yelled. "This is not what I want!"
Voices. All of them this time.
What do you want?
FLASH!
"I want to protect." Shinji whispered. The sensation of the wall
crumbling beneath his fist washed over him. All of a sudden, he was
back in Unit-01.
It happened so fast. The dust hadn't even cleared. His rage
instinctively found the Angel. The Angels. All of them. It lashed
out...ripping into the Angel's barriers...dissolving them so he could
kill them.
Kill.
Kill.
Enemy.
Kill the enemy.
Destroy the enemy.
Protect.
"Mother..." Shinji whispered as he watched the images in his head
replay. "Help me...help me fight..."
"What are you protecting?" came her voice.
"What are you protecting?" came Kaoru's voice.
"What are you doing here?" came Father's.
"I AM SHINJI IKARI!"
Self.
Fight.
Kill.
Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. Kill. Destroy. Crush. Punch. Punch.
Punch. Punch. Die. Die. Die! DIE! DIEE! DIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!
Curled up in the corner...his mind swirled around him. "Nobody
cares...they should all...
Die.
Die.
Just die.
Leave me alone."
And then...he saw Unit-02's head fall through the shelter.
Eva. Eva called for him. Wanting him back. Please. Please come
back.
Fight with me, Shinji.
Fight with me, Mother.
Help me, Shinji.
Help me, Mother.
They can not win. I won't let you die.
He can not win. Please help me protect her.
Protect who?
Asuka.
Why?
"I love you."
FLASH!
Shinji opened his eyes, blinded suddenly by the light, returning from
the shadows that had been his view for what seemed
like...minutes...hours...days....
A small boy, playing in the sand.
A mother, smiling down at him as she watched. "Shinji...do you know
what you're doing?"
The boy echoed his thoughts...no...he was that boy. Just seemed
older...
"I do, Mother." Shinji whispered, looking up at her. "I love her."
"Together, we will protect her." Yui whispered.
"But I can not stay here." Shinji pleaded. The birds chirped off in
the distance.
"Outside, you will have pain."
"Outside, I will have love." Shinji smiled softly up at his mother.
"As well as here."
A long sigh.
"Then you have made up your mind?" she asked.
"I have." Shinji nodded. "And I will help you when I can. I will not
run away."
She smiled. Then, nodded. "Will this be enough?"
"It is my reason." Shinji nodded, reaching up with his arm suddenly
gloved in a plug-suit. "It will be enough."
"Even with the pain?"
Shinji nodded. "Even with the pain." He sighed. "I would gladly risk
it all to see her again." A soft smile. "To see them all." He amended
after a moment.
Water.
Light.
Not quite away. Not quite yet. Still waiting.
Shinji Ikari lay in the bath, looking up at the ceiling. It was a
familiar thing...though he had only seen it once before. Warm with the
glow of steam.
A soft hand lay on his shoulders. While he imagined he should have
been startled by it, he was not. It felt familiar. Almost as
Ayanami's hand did on the few times he had been near her.
He was, however, very surprised to see another young man there, sitting
next to him in the bath. He had strange, gray hair. Eyes like
Ayanami's in their sharp, un-wavering red.
Shinji blinked, watching the boy with a detached fascination. His
mouth was moving...talking about something and motioning to the air
around them.
Shinji did not hear it, though. He did not hear the words, and yet, he
knew them.
And all of a sudden, he remembered.
"Shinji."
"Shinji-kun."
"SHINJI-KUN!"
"SHINJI!!!!!!"
He gasped. LCL exploded from his mouth and nose as his body demanded
the oxygen it needed. The icy cold feeling of metal and light washed
over him.
He tried. He held onto the truth and the memories as hard as he dared
grasp onto them. He tried so hard.
But as Misato wrapped her arms around his naked, wet skin, holding him
and sobbing softly at his messy return to her...Shinji found the truth
slipping away. It melted as the warmth returned to him.
A moment later, he was only a smiling, unconscious boy in Misato's
arms.
Unit-01's eyes stared blankly out at the two. It's pilot now recovered
from it's belly, for better or worse.
Thirty-Second Lesson: Depth
[three weeks ago]
In the dark, the memories always come. There were no overriding images
to stop them from flooding her mind's eye. The hallway was empty as
Asuka walked through it. All the lights were off, leaving only the
echoing illumination from her destination and the emergency lighting.
She felt numb. Cold and empty as she walked down the tile. Every
three steps, she wondered what it would be like to just curl up in the
darkness and die. Stop existing so she wouldn't have to feel like she
didn't want to exist.
NERV security had probably been ordered to tail the pilots, making sure
they didn't talk to anyone they shouldn't, to protect them from outside
harm at such a crucial time...and to protect Asuka from herself.
Misato was no fool. She was not left in the dark. Hell, Toji probably
suggested a suicide watch to the Major.
Asuka sighed as she realized that, if she did not appear quickly
enough, the Security Agents would probably ignore any regard for
humiliation and come looking for her. Probably not enough time to
bleed to death...and anyway, she didn't have anything sharp enough to
cut flesh.
The hall opened up to revile her destination...the NERV indoor pool.
An Olympic sized one at that. While it was after hours, and the lights
were dimmed, this pool glowed with a warm blue hue that lit up the room
in shimmering echoes. The air was damp and life-giving. The water
warm and fresh. Only the tint of chlorine in the air gave away it's
man-made nature.
She wondered why swimming appealed to Ayanami so much. The three of
them were in and out of liquid almost constantly anyway. It wasn't
until Asuka found herself sliding into the shallow end of the pool that
she remembered.
This wasn't LCL.
Not some bloody, organic slime that they had to choke on three or more
times a week. This was water. Beautiful and clean. Simple, unspoiled
and soothing to both the touch and mind.
A small smile crossed her lips...one of the first in many days...
"Well? Do you think my breasts would expand if I heated them up?"
Shinji had looked so embarrassed. It had been priceless! Even back in
that time where he was nothing more than Baka Shinji to her, she had
loved the way he tried not to look at her body. Wanting to view, yet
scared he would get beaten for it.
Her smile slowly slid away. They had been happy back then. More or
less. They had been such a great team! Even Rei had helped out. But
now? Shinji was gone...swallowed up in his own machine.
The tapes.
The tapes had haunted her the moment she saw them. Central Dogma's
cameras...even as the main systems had been smashed to dust...witnessed
the whole attack of the Angel.
Misato had told her what she saw, but it was so much more frightening
when they had witnessed it for themselves. Shinji exploded through the
wall, ripping into the Angel with a furry that Asuka had never known
from him. An echo of the power she had heard of him having during the
Third Angel Attack.
But that was his mind lost. Again, she had assumed some kind of
trance...a mental breakdown that somehow linked to the Eva on some
primal scale.
Then...Shinji had spoke. Not just screamed. He had asked Misato to
fire the catapults. Shinji had been aware through the entire
fight...not even seeming to care as his arm was ripped away from it's
host.
Asuka had realized then that the Third Child was indeed amazing. The
first time had been no accident. No sudden loss of sanity.
Shinji had ripped apart his opponents.
And...yet...he was so gentle with her. Never raised an angry fist or
yelled at her when she probably hurt him more than an Angel ever could.
She sunk into the water, letting out a trail of bubbles...staying
submerged for a moment before coming back up.
For his troubles, Unit-01 ate him.
Oh, they could glorify it all they wanted...say he was still alive and
just 'absorbed'. But the fact was that Unit-01 wanted it's pilot. It
wanted Shinji to stay. Stay forever. The one chance he had to get
away made the beast realize it had to keep him...by force if necessary.
It made Asuka angry. It was unfair. She...she had to stay. It was
who she was. But Shinji was being forced by Eva. Even when he had
gotten enough nerve to leave his Father and it all behind...
The water around her body did nothing to sooth her mind. It made
things worse. Every thought was amplified by the echoing rhythmic
tones of the water hitting the sides of the pool. Breaths and splashes
from the day's patrons still living in the seemingly unending ripples
and waves that were filling the pool. They wouldn't leave her be.
Why couldn't they just leave her alone. All of them...just...die.
Die.
Perhaps she could just drown in the pool. Maybe nobody was watching,
and would just assume she'd be okay for half an hour or so. By then,
it would be too late.
It would be easy. She had trained her lungs to expect liquid...and
after the first three or four breaths of water, it would already begin.
A fitting death. So much like how she imagined it would be to die in
Eva. Slowly cool in a tomb of LCL, while the world falls apart outside
of the hallowed shell.
She knew that was the only way Eva would let her go. Death. Just like
her mother...she would torture Asuka until she wanted to die. Just
like her.
Asuka wondered why that thought didn't scare her now. Why it didn't
startle her and cause her to fight these thoughts.
Even as she let herself slip into the water.
Nothing mattered. Shinji had left her...then had been taken away as if
to say a second time 'you lost your chance'. She had been
destroyed...her pride once more ripped from her mind as the Angel came
just milliseconds from slicing into her throat. Alive, only because
Misato knew she would fail. Alive to be rescued by men in containment
suits who treated her like a baby as they carried her out of the Plug.
Mama...Shinji...even herself had left. There was nothing else.
She smiled as the water became deep enough around her...almost sinking
to the bottom...wanting to wait until it would be too late to take that
first breath of airless water. The roof echoed in waves of
light...peaceful and calm.
It would be a nice death, she decided. Much better than to be
humiliated again in her poor, broken Eva. Or to remember all the love
she threw away...love she had just a week ago. Thrown away for what?
So she could die in a puppet?
No.
This would be better.
She almost took that breath...
when a shadow passed over her. A long, graceful dive, sliding first
through the air, then seeming to enter the water just as flawlessly. A
streak of white skin and blue hair.
Her eyes twitched as Rei Ayanami noticed her in the pool, and swam down
to the bottom to meet her.
"Why did Rei have to come here?" Asuka grumbled to herself. "My nice,
perfect little death, ruined by Wondergirl."
Rei swam down until she was parallel with Asuka. Her red eyes
shimmered in the water, looking at the redhead with an odd curiosity.
Asuka tried to stare back, but it was about that time that she realized
her entire body was screaming for oxygen. Her eyes went wide, and she
scrambled back up to the surface...her original intent ignored under
the worry of her audience.
Rei followed, surfacing as Asuka was coughing and gasping in a hurry to
feed her muscles with air.
"It is not wise to hold your breath for that long." The albino said
quietly, waiting for Asuka to finish coughing.
She growled. "Did they teach you that in school? Good work,
Wondergirl!"
The two girls paddled slowly, glaring and staring respectively at the
other.
"Can you be replaced?"
Asuka blinked, not quite expecting that sentence. "What?" she coughed,
brushing the hair away from her eyes. "What the hell is that supposed
to mean?"
To add to her confusion...Rei suddenly looked very embarrassed. The
girl turned a dark pink color, as if she had said something that she
shouldn't have. "I...I am sorry." She turned around in the pool and
began to paddle off slowly. "Please excuse me..."
Asuka blinked, completely confused. "Wait!" she frowned, then swam
after Rei. "No! Wait! I wanna know!"
"It is nothing. I made a mistake." Rei said calmly as she moved
through the water effortlessly.
"About WHAT?!?!" Asuka demanded. "You just asked me 'Can I be
replaced'! How can you be mistaken when you were asking a question?!"
"I asked for the wrong reasons." Rei said cryptically. "I apologize."
"I already know that. But I want to know what it is you meant!" Asuka
continued, not letting Rei get too far away, easily keeping up, though
not nearly as gracefully.
Rei was an excellent swimmer. Mostly because of the sheer amount of
time she spent in the pool. Asuka cursed herself for not expecting her
to show up.
"I am sorry." Rei shook her head.
"Stop apologizing! You're sounding like Baka Shinji!" Asuka yelled.
The echo stopped them both.
Rei conceded and turned to her. "You are sad. Ikari-kun is not here."
"Yes..." Asuka said reluctantly. All the fight in her voice was gone
again and she found herself looking away from the blue-haired girl. "I
miss him."
Rei's eyes looked softer all of a sudden. "You no longer wish to
live?"
Asuka looked up at her. "What?"
"You do not want to live?" Rei asked again.
There was a long pause. All the thoughts that Asuka had been feeling
swelled back into her mind with a frightening torrent. She had
been...not only close...but ready. Ready to do it.
Rei took her silence as a yes. "I asked if you could be replaced as
well..." she whispered. "I have no joy in life. Nor hatred of it. I
know I can be replaced if I die." She looked at Asuka with a small
frown. "Can you?"
"I...I suppose so...Toji is..."
"No." Rei interrupted. "Can YOU be replaced. That is what I asked."
"W...well...I guess not..." Asuka replied, teetering between confused
and horrified at the thoughts that were still swirling in her mind.
Rei turned and swam away. "Then your life still has a purpose." She
said softly. Almost as an afterthought: "I would advise against
ending it while this is so."
Asuka watched as Rei moved laterally to her a few metres, then began to
swim at a full pace along one of the provided swimming lanes.
"How did she know?" Asuka whispered to herself. "She...just looked at
me and knew..."
An image flashed in her mind. Of Rei's eyes as they saw her under
water. They looked so sad...yet...understanding. Almost as if they
knew...
Almost as if they felt the same thing.
"Rei..."
The First continued with her laps, even after the Second decided to
leave. She did not pause to say goodbye, but managed a small sigh of
relief somewhere in between backstrokes.
She continued swimming well into the night.
Asuka arrived home, completely exhausted.
It was actually a fairly long walk from Headquarters to the apartment.
Not exactly a bad thing...considering the apartment's distance kept it
safe from most Angel attacks.
Following her recent bout of mind-and-body miss-sync, while her body
felt like lead, her mind was racing. Angry. At everything.
Angry at itself.
"Have you forgotten? Already?" she asked herself as she trudged up the
steps. "Are you so low that you need Ayanami to knock some sense into
you?"
The stairwell echoed the punch she gave the wall...not flinching one
bit as her knuckles threatened to crack. "DAMMIT! DAMMIT!" she yelled
out loud into the darkness. "WHAT THE HELL AM I!?!"
Her knees threatened to give out...she wanted to sit on the steps and
cry...but she wouldn't let herself.
"Everyone leaves me..." Asuka growled at herself. "Why should Baka
Shinji be ANY different. Momma loved me too...that doesn't mean I
should kill myself. She left me...HA! Good riddance!"
Asuka felt the tears.
"Ahh! FUCK!" she screamed. "Stop CRYING!" her hands came up to her
face, trying to block the tears. "This is no different. Shinji had to
leave. It's not even his fault...There's no need to cry." She managed
a small smile, finally confident the tears would stay as a choked
voice. "It's not like he said I had to come...he didn't ask me to
die..." a smaller voice. "He...still loves me..."
Her footsteps were soft and silent as she walked up the stairs.
"At least I still have that..." she sniffed. "I'm glad. Baka
Shinji...at least he didn't just dump me..."
With a determined edge on her jaw, she walked up to the door and
sighed. "I'll handle this. I'll train harder...sync better...Teach
Toji not to screw up..." a small voice. "...thank Ayanami..." a sigh,
then she looked up with her fiery blue eyes. "I'll make them all proud
of me again. I'll make damn sure they never forget Asuka Langley
Sohryu...even if they DO dump me off to the side."
She smiled at the thought. "Yeah...that's it." She took a deep breath
and opened the door. "I'll make Shinji sorry he left." All of a
sudden, arms were around her. "BMMPH!!!!"
Misato pulled her into the apartment, hugging the redhead tightly. She
had tears running down her cheeks, though it was clear the emotion was
not beer-amplified. "Asuka...thank goodness you're back..."
She snorted a greeting and pushed Misato off of her. "Of course I'm
back. Why wouldn't I be??" she said, trying not to think of the
reasons she wouldn't be.
"Asuka..." Misato leaned down and looked up at the younger girl's eyes.
"We can get Shinji out."
Asuka's eyes widened slowly. "W..."
"It's going to take time..." Misato said, tears still running down the
sides of her face...but it was obvious they were ones of happiness.
"But I think Ritsuko found a way."
"Shinji..." Asuka swallowed hard. "Shinji's coming back?"
Misato nodded happily.
"S...h...Shinji's coming back...???" Asuka fell to her knees, already
in Misato's arms, hugging back tightly.
"I know he is." Misato nodded, holding her tight.
"My Baka Shinji is..." All her pride finally cracked, letting a
heartfelt sob escape. "He's...coming back to me??"
Misato held Asuka as she cried, hearing only the words "thank you"
between the sobs.
[current day]
Shinji woke with a start. Light flooded in over him, and he had to
shield his eyes from the painful burst. For once, however, he was
greeted by the soft blue linen of his own bed; not the sterile semi-
nylon sheets of the hospital.
His room was clean...no dust had accumulated in his absence.
Odd...since he had imagined at least a few days in the hospital
after...whatever had happened.
Maybe it was all a dream?
A twinge of remembered pain in his left shoulder, however, reminded him
quickly enough that it had been real. Yet another odd memory that his
arm had been shot off...his poor brain and nerves must have been
getting very confused at the sensations of limbs suddenly coming back.
He looked over to his nightstand. His SDAT sat patiently nearby.
Shinji let out a groan as his body creaked into automation once more,
but saw the date and time readout on the playback window.
"A...a MONTH!?!?"
he promptly fell out of bed with a CRASH! All of a sudden, the door
whisked open, revealing Pen-Pen and Asuka in the late morning light.
Asuka gasped, dropping the plate of breakfast she had in her hands so
she could rush over and help him to his bed again.
"Shinji! You shouldn't move so fast!" she worried, dragging the
confused boy up and sitting him down on the bed.
"W...what..." he blinked, looking up at her face. The image of Unit-
02's head filled his mind, and he gasped, falling back on the bed.
Asuka shot back, unsure of what had happened. "A...are you
okay...Shinji-kun?"
His mind whirled, remembering everything...remembering the fear he had
felt as he ran back into NERV...
Asuka hadn't quite been expecting him to suddenly launch back up to his
feet and wrap around her with such force. "ASUKA!! YOU'RE ALRIGHT!!!!"
he cried out with such happiness. "W...WAOOAAAHH!"
Despite her best efforts to stop falling, they lost balance and fell
back down on the sheets.
Pen-Pen decided he'd better not stare, and made a strategic
retreat...but not before pulling the tray of breakfast behind him with
a hungry smile on his beak.
"BAKA!" Asuka coughed, wheezing from his strong hug. "Of COURSE I'm
okay!"
Sheepishly, Shinji released his grip, but then realized Asuka was
laying on top of him, frowning right into his face. "Ahh...gomen...I
just saw...y...Unit-02...and..."
Her frown finally softened.
"Y...you did all that for me??" she blinked.
Shinji couldn't have blushed harder if he tried. "Hai..."
"You came back to save me?" Asuka leaned back slightly. "I..."
"I chose to." Shinji said firmly. His hand was wrapped around her arm.
His eyes enforced the thought. 'I don't want you to leave...'
Asuka blinked, suddenly feeling a blush on her own cheeks. "You...you
came back to Eva for me?"
"If I didn't..." Shinji swallowed hard. "I wanted to help...I didn't
want to let you get hurt..."
A tear hit his chest as Asuka blinked it away. "But...I thought you
decided that...you could get away...?"
Shinji sat up, taking her up with him. She moved, sitting on the bed
besides him. "I...decided that I would rather be with you." He said
with a small, embarrassed voice. "That it was worth staying with Eva.
Worth having to see my Father." He smiled softly. "I'd rather be with
you."
Asuka looked up at him with shimmering eyes. Partly because of the
tears, but they also held such joy. "Really?"
Shinji didn't even have a chance to say 'hai!' because she had already
flattened him onto the bed with a long, deep kiss.
Thirty-Third Lesson: Perfect Attendance
Shinji panicked slightly when he tried to sit up...and couldn't. His
world came rushing into his eyes and mind. Back at home...looking up
at the roof...but he felt too warm. Heavy.
It wasn't until a soft, sleepy moan escaped from his chest that he
realized Asuka was sleeping half on top of him.
"A..." he swallowed hard. "Asuka..."
She continued sleeping peacefully, but rolled off him a bit, letting
him breathe again. "Mmm mmm..."
He sighed and lay back against the bed, looking back up. Another
peaceful night. One more he didn't have to drown out his thoughts with
music. A smile escaped his lips as he realized he could get used to
this.
This...what was this? He looked down at the silky mess of red hair
against him as she cuddled up to him for warmth. Was this love? Was
there more? Was he wise in his decisions? He remembered being so
ready to leave it all behind...ready to leave, even without Asuka. But
that seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed. Would he leave
now? He wondered.
No.
He would stay and protect the ones he loved. Asuka most of all...but
he thought of Toji and Kensuke. Rei and Misato. Kaji, Sensei Kaoru,
even his Father...
Without his help, they would all die. He couldn't pretend that wasn't
the case anymore. Not after what he had seen and heard and felt. And
he knew he might forget this...but for now...as his mind was clear and
fresh...he knew he had found his reasons.
The reason that was humming softly in a dream against his chest right
now.
He looked up. Her birthday would be coming soon. He would have to get
her something special. Maybe he and Pen-Pen and Misato could pitch in
and cook her an authentic German dinner for the night, and they could
all have a big party.
Asuka was always complaining about Japanese food...yes...he decided
that would be a wonderful present.
But...
What about...
A warm feeling washed over his body as he remembered Asuka kissing him
that night after his birthday. He realized, though, that it might not
be limited to that next time.
What about...what Kaji had talked about? His eyes widened as he
remembered some of the conversation. No water...? Images of Asuka in
the bathtub, however, washed over his mind, and he instantly
disregarded that information in light of the effect it had on his mind.
A small grumble from Asuka wasn't heard as Shinji realized just what
all this meant. The consequences, the ideas, the problems already
rushing into his worrying head...but also the unmistakable attraction
he had to the idea.
It wasn't until the object of his desires blinked herself awake and
frowned up at him that he noticed. "Shinji..." she yawned. "What the
hell is so lumpy in your bed?"
Shinji blinked, looking down. "Er..."
Right about the same time, Asuka realized she was snuggled around his
torso, with her stomach pressed against his...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
The two of them fell out of the bed on opposite sides. Shinji was
already apologizing before he hit the ground. "ARHG! Gomen! Gomen! I
didn't..."
Asuka gasped, poking her head up from behind the bed.
"Uhm....no...it's okay...just..." she blushed. "You mean that happens
even when you're just sleeping?"
Shinji nodded quickly, even though he was perfectly aware that he had
not been sleeping. "Uhm...yeah...we just call it morning wood." He
swallowed hard. "Sorry..."
Asuka smiled softly and slid back under the covers. Shinji finally
noticed that she was only wearing her underwear, and his blush
returned. "Well, okay, so long as you weren't trying to hump me in my
sleep." She frowned playfully.
He swallowed hard and slid back in as well...the 'problem' no longer a
problem.
"Besides, I want to be awake when you do." Asuka winked.
Shinji promptly fell out of bed again.
"BAKA!" she sighed. "I was just kidding."
Shinji, however, was promptly passed out on the floor with a huge nose-
bleed.
Luckily, to Shinji's credit, they managed to get to school on time, but
only after he made Asuka promise not to tease him like that when he
wasn't expecting it.
Asuka did not promise. She seemed to be smiling a lot, actually. This
made Shinji nervous.
But, they did get to school in one piece, and were greeted by some of
the widest eyes they had ever seen. Shinji wondered why everyone was
so surprised, but then he realized he had missed a month of school.
What really puzzled him was the way that Hikari acted. She ran up to
Asuka, broke into tears half the way over, and literally jumped at her
in a running hug that almost toppled them both over. Almost like Asuka
had been missing too...
Toji's friendly bear-hug knocked Shinji out of his reflective mood, and
he gasped. "HEY! Shinji! The man! How does it feel to be back in
the land of the living again?"
He smiled weakly. "Uhm...it's good! Though it really didn't seem like
I was gone for so long."
Kensuke walked over and gave his friend a hug as well. "Don't worry, I
taped all the interesting bits while you were gone! You haven't missed
much. Most of this month has been book reviews anyway. The Sensei
told us that we had to get some work done for the start of the new
school year coming up, but said we should be back to the fun stuff
soon."
Shinji smiled. "Good! I'd like to get back to work, I guess." He
turned around to Rei's seat. "Where's Ayanami?"
"Not sure. She hasn't shown up for the last week." Toji shrugged.
"Probably off helping NERV get your ass back out here." He smiled.
"Ooh, and my Sync Ratio is much higher now! I hear I'll be able to
spar with you soon!" he punched Shinji in the shoulder. "Think you're
up to it?"
"Hai hai!" Shinji smiled enthusiastically, though he rubbed his
shoulder painfully. "So how has Hikari been?"
Toji turned bright red. Kensuke grinned. "Oh, they're doing JUST
fine. Sensei Kaoru caught them making out in the..."
Toji's hand came around Kensuke's neck and squeezed. "If you value
your life, you'll shut up." He grumbled.
Kensuke smiled and nodded, even though he couldn't breathe. Shinji
laughed, knowing he'd probably want to show him the video later.
"So..." he looked over at the two girls. "How's Asuka been?"
Toji blinked, and then sighed. "Man...she didn't show up for school
all last month. I only saw her once or twice even inside of NERV."
Kensuke's smile faded and he put on a genuine look of friendship. "She
was worried about you, man. I think that's probably the only time I've
seen the Red Devil show so much concern for someone else."
Shinji blinked. "She...just stayed at home?"
"I wouldn't even say that, man." Toji sighed. "It was like she wasn't
even herself when I saw her. She just seemed so...calm. No spark in
her." He smiled though. "But it looks like she's back to normal." He
motioned over to the current laughing and giggling fit that Asuka and
Hikari were sharing. He turned bright red. "I bet they're talking
about me..." he grumbled.
Shinji smiled a bit, but was still surprised. "Well, that's good...so
long as she's okay."
---
two weeks earlier
---
Maya rubbed her temples, lying back against the chair back that was
still cold, despite the fact she had been there all day. She hadn't
had an opportunity to rest yet...only now allowing her critical habits
to take a small breather.
Ritsuko had gone home long ago, thanking her on the way out for staying
and helping with the work, and assuming she would leave a few moments
later.
The younger woman sighed to herself. Why did she work like this when
Sempai wouldn't even notice? What did it matter that three hundred
lines of bug-free code were written now, or later? Sempai could
probably do that level of work in minutes. Not the hours that she
took.
She looked up at the monitors. Unit-01 stared blankly back at her.
It's face covered once more with it's purple grimace. She assumed it
was because she worried about Shinji too. That the extra effort each
day would save him a week trapped inside of Unit-01.
Maya just wished that Sempai was there to appreciate it too. A small
smile crossed her lips as she looked around the office. Ritsuko would
often let her student use her office when it wasn't too much of a
burden. She looked up, then around the office, looking
for...something...that might be watching.
With a guilty little smile, she put her laptop on the desk...stood up,
and walked over to the other side of it. Ritsuko's chair was
nice...cold, but soft leather and nicely padded and conforming. A
brilliant design. Professional and proper, just like the woman
herself. Maya hesitated only for a moment before silently sliding into
the chair, relaxing against the back as it tilted just enough to add to
the comfort. "Ahhh..." she sighed, out of genuine exhaustion. "This
is nice..."
It was still warm from her Sempai's stay. She sighed and melted into
the feel of the material, letting all her cares dwindle away to the
fantasy. What if it was Her who was holding her right now...
"Mmmm...."
"Doctor Akagi?"
Maya yelped and jumped out of the chair at the sound of someone else's
voice, gasping in horror. Luckily, it was only Asuka...not the
commander or...heaven forbid...Sempai herself.
The redhead blinked as she came into the room, seeing a very startled
looking Project Vice-Supervisor. "Uhm...Ibuki-san?? Why are you
here?"
"I...I..." she forced herself to calm down. "I was just helping with
Sempai's work load." She smiled, pointing at her laptop. "How can I
help you, Asuka-chan?"
Asuka let herself into the office and sighed, looking at one of the
monitors. "Oh...I was just wondering how that extraction program
thingy was coming."
Maya blinked, then looked over at the clock. "But...it's Oh-Two-
Hundred Hours. Shouldn't you be at home?"
Asuka blinked, a little surprised to hear the time. "Uhm...well...I
guess...but..." she shrugged. "I dunno...I've just been restless."
The older woman smiled softly, knowing exactly what that was like.
"Well...I'm done here...did you want to go down to the Eva cage with
me? I have to do some readings before I go home tonight."
In reality, she would probably just sleep in one of the lounges
tonight, get freshened up and wear with the last of the three fresh
uniforms she had in her personal locker when it was the next afternoon;
but that seemed like a nice enough thing to say to the poor girl.
Asuka smiled slightly and nodded her head. "Sure!" she paused. "You
don't mind? I know that Commander Ikari said that..."
"Forget what that old dirt bag said." Maya grinned evilly. "Come on,
it's the least I can do. You've helped us with so much testing. It
wouldn't be fair if you didn't have a chance to visit Shinji-kun."
Asuka smiled and nodded. "Thank you...uhm..."
"Ahh, you can just call me Maya. Everyone does." Maya smiled happily,
grabbing her stuff and turning off the lights as they walked out the
door.
"Why are you here so late anyway?" Asuka asked as they reached the end
of the hall and boarded the elevator. "I saw you here when I got here
this morning...but I had a nap back at home." She frowned. "Don't you
get tired?"
"Not really." Maya smiled...then betrayed herself by yawning.
Asuka raised an eyebrow.
"Uhm...okay...sometimes." Maya smiled nervously. "But it's really not
that bad. You children have to do a lot of physically exhausting
things at NERV. I mostly just sit and type, so long days aren't bad."
"Yeah...but don't you get sick of it here?" Asuka sighed, looking at
the elevator ticker as it clicked away the floors. "Doesn't that
Ritsuko ever bug you?"
"Sempai??"
Asuka nodded. "Yeah. She's creepy. And she always looks at me and
Shinji like we're pieces of hardware to throw around." She sighed. "I
even feel sorry for Wondergirl..."
Maya frowned and blushed terribly. "Rits-Sempai is a brilliant, driven
woman! She would never think such nasty things about you or the other
Children!"
She lowered her voice again when she noticed Asuka's surprised look.
"Uhm...wh...what I meant was that she focuses on what will keep you
children alive. Even if she seems cold sometimes, she's not."
Asuka nodded slowly. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to insult her..." she
said quietly, shaking her head. "I mean...I guess I know all
that...she's trying to save Shinji after all. Even when it might be
easier just to forget about him."
The door opened and the two exited into another hall. After a short
walk, Maya entered her security card and code, letting the final metal
door slide open. The Eva Cage was dark, with only a few small
emergency lights illuminating the walk-way.
"We're ready to start testing the code for the procedure soon." Maya
said as they walked down the metal plank. "It will still take us
another two weeks before I think we'll be confident enough to try, but
I'm certain that it will work." She smiled. "Shinji-kun is in very
good hands here. Ritsuko will make sure he's okay."
"So...does everyone know by now?" Asuka sighed as she followed.
"Know what?" Maya blinked.
"Well...uhm...me...and Shinji..." Asuka said, blushing.
Maya's eyes widened, and she smiled. "Well, you've been hanging around
NERV all day, asking for updates every few hours. I think people are
noticing you care for Shinji, yes."
Asuka groaned.
"It's okay. People here are very professional." Maya sighed. "I doubt
anyone will hold it against you." She shrugged. "Maybe I'm just
exaggerating. I think most people think that you are just worried for
the sake of your fellow pilot."
"Maybe." Asuka smiled. "So, what about you?"
Maya blushed. "Uhm...well...not really..."
"Oh, come on." Asuka chuckled in a more friendly tone. "I know why
you're here so late...you want to impress someone!"
Maya shook her head. "N...Of course not!"
"It's one of the bridge crew! Isn't it!" Asuka grinned evilly. "Come
on...you gotta at LEAST tell me that much..."
She shifted nervously in her outfit. "Hai..."
Asuka's eyes narrowed and her grin became two times as wide.
"Ooooooooooooh! I bet it's that Shigeru guy."
Maya shook her head. "Asuka-chan...I'm embarrassed enough as it is.
Please...I can't tell you, okay?"
Asuka's smile faded a bit and she nodded. "Okay, okay...but I still
think you Japanese are way too conservative about this kind of thing.
I mean, you could save yourself a lot of trouble if you just tell him
that you like him."
Maya sighed and walked over to the controls. The lights came on around
Unit-01 and she shrugged. "Maybe...I don't know." She smiled
nervously. "Besides, you kids work us too hard to have relationships.
You should be honoured."
The redhead nodded and walked over, watching the older woman work.
"Do...do you mind me helping out? I mean...maybe I can help make this
go faster."
Maya blinked, the concept of having a disciple of her own having never
crossed her mind. "Uhm...well...maybe if you wanted to help Ritsuko
and I with some of the code checking. Sempai might have to ask the
commander, but..." she frowned. "Don't you have school or something?"
Asuka shook her head. "Maya...please...I can't concentrate. I need to
help before I go crazy. And I don't mean sitting in LCL when you guys
just want me to feel useful...I want to help you get Shinji out of that
thing." She looked over at Unit-01 with a scowl. "She took him from
me, and I want her to know PERFECTLY well that I want him back."
Maya sighed, then nodded. "Okay...but...you do realize that Eva isn't
something to give up it's people so easily."
Asuka blinked, then suddenly looked very pained. "I...I know."
Maya wasn't expecting such a reaction and had to take a double take.
Asuka normally was so bright and vibrant. A flame that seemed
impossible to put out...and yet...tonight...Maya saw her
fading...flickering...fighting to try to stay just at her level best.
"Hai...then let's get you up to speed." Maya nodded, then ushered Asuka
over to the panel. "This is what we're doing. Basically, we're just
checking the..."
Asuka listened intently, knowing she was in good hands. Maya at least
knew love. A rare commodity, it seemed, in the Eva project.
"Stand! Bow!"
---
present day
---
Sensei Miyazaki walked in the door with his usual smile and nod to the
class, and sat down in his desk. "Thank you, class. So, before I get
started..." he blinked, doing a double take at the students.
They all blinked back. Including Shinji and Asuka.
Kaoru cleared his throat. "I want Miss Langley and Mister Ikari to
stay after school so I can unload a month's worth of homework on them."
He smiled warmly. "But otherwise, I'd like to say it's good to have
them back amongst us hard working students."
The class all smiled happily at the two, who both blushed and sunk in
their seats.
Asuka looked over to Shinji. "A month of homework?"
He smiled. "You should have been working instead of all worried over
me, Asuka-chan."
She frowned and stuck out her tongue. "Show's what you know. I helped
bring your sorry ass out of that gooey..."
"Would you like to make that two days detention?" Kaoru interrupted as
the class giggled.
Both Children shut up and smiled innocently.
"That's better." Kaoru sighed and smiled. "Now, if only we can get Rei
here, we can start on our next class project. Next person to see her
tell her she has to come tomorrow. Okay?"
"Hai!" the class nodded.
"Good." He smiled evilly. "Because this next one is going to be a lot
of fun."
The students all blinked, then began to get worried.
Rei wouldn't have been very presentable at the moment in public anyway.
Perhaps it was best that she wasn't at school. Floating in a pool of
LCL in your school clothes wasn't very practical, so Rei always did it
naked.
However, instead of her usual peaceful, calm expression, Rei seemed to
be shivering slightly. Almost as if she had been crying. But not
tears of pain...nor hate...nor anything else. She had not felt pain in
such a long time, it was new to her.
A few days ago, she had heard Ikari-kun's retrieval had been
successful.
She had been so happy to see him again. And it scared her. It
downright frightened her what that meant. Rei had tried to think it
over, calming herself in the pool that Ikari-san had provided for her
Purpose. It always used to calm her...
But now, she just felt alone in it.
Naked, alone, and where the memories could reach her. Memories like
her concert.
Rei had started to hum to herself that week.
In the LCL, it sounded strange, but to her ears, it was clear as day.
It echoed through her skull and her chest as the oxygen pulled from the
goo around her passed through her body and made music.
Symphony 9, it was. The simple...almost childish...melody kept
touching her mind with it's friendly warmth.
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm-mmm!
Each note she would hum in perfect tune and timing, letting them soar
higher and louder...feeling a wave of power wash around her as she did.
She shivered with delight as if a cool breeze would blow across her
skin in this lukewarm liquid.
It was wonderful.
And that's when she began to cry.
She looked up at the ceiling, so very far up...echoing past the LCL's
surface. "I don't want to be replaced..." she whispered. "I don't
want to be expendable..."
Had she been in air, the tears would have not dissolved so quickly.
"Why don't I want to?"
Rei asked herself over and over.
Each time, the voice inside her head could not answer. It tried...it
tried to say this was all her imagination, that it was nothing but idle
thoughts.
But the feeling would not go away.
Joy.
Remembering how wonderful it would be able to see Shinji again.
Even...even if he would be with Asuka. She loved to watch him smile.
Wondered how he did it so effortlessly. Wondered why he didn't do it
all the time with the joy he must certainly have.
Commander Ikari never smiled.
Not like Shinji-kun.
She missed him. All last month. Only now, though, she realized how
much she missed him. How much she enjoyed his presence.
She turned her attentions to School, remembering Sensei Kaoru. How he
would smile so easily and effortlessly. Genuine and happy to see her.
To see her work and talk. Glad that she was part of the class.
Even Asuka...she could see and hear concern in her eyes and voice when
trouble was about. How she would try to protect and work with
her...even if Asuka was always yelling and trying to seem mean and
unreachable.
Toji-kun. She loved to see him and Hikari talking. It made her smile.
Knowing that she helped create a little bit of joy.
Certainly someone worthless could not do this? Was she not worth
something? Did a worthless person have friends? Would not her friends
be sad if she died?
Commander Ikari could simply make another.
Her friends could not. They would miss her. She would not remember
these things.
That morning, Rei Ayanami began to live.
Small, LCL footprints were left in her wake as she went to dry off.
After all, it would be silly to show up at school naked, she thought.
As she did, she began to hum Air.
Thirty-Forth Lesson: "This Little Piggy Went To Market"
"This doesn't make sense." Misato said, looking at the documents in
front of her.
Makoto looked past her, out across the Geofront's lake. He would have
liked to give Misato the results of his inquiries in a more private
place, but in Tokyo-3 there was no 'private' place. Every alley and
room had an equal chance of being bugged or watched by NERV, SEELE, or
perhaps the JSDF and other world governments.
Out in the open, where there were no crowds. This was the best they
could agree on. "What doesn't make sense?" he asked. The data had
slipped through his hands to the Major so quickly that he hadn't had
much time to look it over.
"Did you see the sheer numbers of the production costs?" Misato looked
up at him. "Thirteen more Evangelions is ridiculous."
"It does seem a bit much." He agreed. "We have four functioning units
and pilots. I wonder if NERV is preparing for a final, global attack
by the Angels?"
"It still doesn't make sense." Misato sighed, looking at the fuzzy
pictures of something huge and white. Something about the way it was
hunched over seemed so...primal. She felt a long shiver go down her
back. "When the Evangelion project first started, we could barely
scrape together the money for a test activation. Now Ritsuko is
telling me that we have a stockpile of 'spare parts', and over a dozen
confirmed new Evas are bought and paid for."
"Must be something driving the politicians." Makoto agreed. "Something
happened to change their mind. Maybe they're finally realizing how
critical our success is."
"Whatever the reason, I don't like it." Misato sighed, leaning back
against the park bench. "You know, a while back, I wondered what the
Evas would be doing after the Angels were gone."
Makoto blinked, then shrugged. "I always just assumed they'd be
dismantled, or at the very least, put in stasis for a later threat."
"I thought so too." Misato shook her head. "Not anymore, though.
Governments don't shell out that kind of cash for a doomsday weapon
that will never be used. They want to USE these things."
"For what?" Makoto shrugged. "And where are they going to get fifteen
more pilots?"
"I'm not sure." Misato sighed, standing up. "But I've got to find out
before these things are operational and they make some kind of new
Dummy Plug that won't be rejected like ours was." She turned to her
friend. "I think you know as well as I do that an Evangelion
controlled by humans would make the Angles look like pussycats."
He nodded and sighed. "Cruelty does seem to run in our genes, doesn't
it? I personally think that's the only reason we've survived this
long."
"Let's hope we don't have to keep surviving like that." She smiled and
nodded. "Thank you for the files. It really does help." Misato
walked off a moment later, having duties and plans to attend to.
"It's no problem." Makoto smiled warmly and watched the Major walk off.
"No problem." He sighed, leaning back against the park bench.
"WHAT!?!?!" The class all gasped as they collectively read the
assignment. They all looked up at Sensei Miyazaki with confused looks.
The only person that looked happy was, not surprisingly, Kensuke, who
looked about ready to take a bullet for his teacher with the smile he
had on his face.
Kaoru grinned and turned to Kensuke, knowing he would be the strongest
supporter. "Would you please read out the assignment, Mister Aida?"
"Yes, sir!" he stood, adjusting his glasses. "The assignment is to
take over NERV, sir!" The boy saluted and sat back down.
The class all looked at each other nervously. Toji, Asuka and Shinji
were very confused. Kaoru just enjoyed the moment a bit longer before
sighing and walking over to the blackboard. "Now, before you all
expect me to be handing out guns and explosives, I think I should
clarify this." He began writing the names of a few of NERV's branches
and divisions. "We're going to see if we can't do things better."
"Better?" Hikari blinked.
"That's right. We're going to make our OWN Tokyo-3. Ran by you
wonderful young ladies and gentlemen, we're going to see if we can't
improve on things. We're going to run it without the secrets, the
unknowns, and the lies. We're going to make OUR version a model city
for Humanity to be proud of. Not just a fortress to hide from the
Angels." He turned and smiled. "Sound like fun?"
A few of the students actually looked interested. The Pilots were all
smiling to themselves, and Kensuke still looked ready to fight World
Wars III through IX all by himself.
"Now, for the matter of the classified stuff, we'll try to fill it in
the best we can, but mostly, this exercise will let you each try to
change what you don't like about the city, and then, we'll see if it
actually works." He walked over to his desk and pulled out a bunch of
papers.
"Each of you is going to head up an official, government position." He
turned to the Pilots and grinned. "And you four get to re-organize the
Eva program. Just don't tell me too much...or the security guys might
get me." He winked.
"Can I be..."
"Yes, Kensuke. You are the new Minister of Defence and Offence." Kaoru
laughed.
"YESSSSSSS!" Kensuke did a small victory dance. Toji smacked him on
the shoulder finally to calm him down.
Kaoru handed out the REAL assignments, giving each student the rough
idea. Finally, he walked over back to his desk and pushed his glasses
up on his nose. "And, if I deem this experiment to be a success, maybe
we'll just have to put it into effect."
Everyone blinked as Kaoru grinned.
He laughed. "Just kidding." He popped back up to the board. "Now, who
wants to start first?"
"I will be..." Rei said suddenly.
Everyone almost fell over, surprised she came in the door so quietly.
Kaoru chuckled. "Yes, Miss Ayanami?"
Rei smiled softly. "I would like to be in charge of training the Eva
Pilots."
Asuka groaned. "Well, if SHE's going to be screwing up those poor
Pilot's heads, I'd better run damage control. I'll be Operations
Manager."
Kaoru jotted the names down on the board as Rei sat down. Asuka
winked. "After all, those poor Pilots need all the help they can get,
right?"
"Hai." Rei agreed.
Hikari raised her hand next. "I want to be in charge of the school
districts."
Toji smiled and raised his hand. "I'll be NERV's new official lunch-
tester." He said to a few chuckles and a blushing Hikari.
"Let's just say that you're in charge of Public Welfare." Kaoru
chuckled. "Okay, who's next?
"So what should we do to celebrate?" Kensuke asked as the group was
walking down the street.
"Celebrate what?" Shinji asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Asuka squeezed his arm. "Your return, stupid. You
think we were all just going to pat you on the back and say 'thanks for
coming back'?"
"Well, that's all I really expected." Shinji blushed slightly.
Toji chuckled. "Are you kidding? You scared the hell out of us,
Ikari. We're not letting you off without a thoroughly embarrassing
party of some sorts."
Kensuke coughed. "Uhm, actually, I meant we should celebrate the
eventual demise of NERV, but yeah, Shinji's important too."
They all groaned. Hikari laughed. "So what is your stance on N2 Mine
Usage, Minister of Offence?"
"Usage?" Kensuke pouted. "What usage? We have almost a THOUSAND in
stockpile, and they only used TWO against the Angels so far?" he
grinned evilly. "That's going to change very quickly."
"Actually..."
They all turned to see Rei walking nearby. She blushed, not meaning to
interrupt. "Gomen..."
"No, it's okay, Rei!" Asuka urged on. "You wanna come along?"
She nodded and caught up to the group. Kensuke nodded. "So what were
you saying?"
"Well, we actually used three N2 Mines against the Angels." She smiled
shyly.
Shinji frowned. "And you almost blew yourself up, Rei."
"Eva can survive an N2 mine explosion." Rei said simply. "I was
unafraid."
Hikari shook her head. "But didn't you feel the explosion like you were
inside it?"
Rei shrugged. "I was unafraid."
Toji laughed. "Well, all I gotta say is that you're braver than I
would have been." He pointed at his leg. He had already been able to
get it out of the cast, but he had a slight limp as the muscles were
trying to heal. "That was just my leg, and you basically took a bath
in a mushroom cloud."
Hikari gave him a kiss on the cheek. "That's still pretty brave too,
Toji-kun."
"So where should we go to celebrate?" Asuka yawned, not really in the
mood to relive war memories at the moment. "And nowhere too
expensive." She grinned. "My birthday's coming up and I wouldn't want
you all to be too pour to get me presents."
"There is a very nice ramen noodle stand along the way home." Rei
offered.
They all nodded. "Sounds good." Kensuke puffed out his chest. "As the
new Minister of Offence, I will gladly live a modest life for my
country!"
They all groaned. Shinji shrugged. "It IS Minister of DEfence,
right?"
"Yeah, but don't spoil his fun." Asuka chided. "Let him blow stuff up
for a while."
Rei lead them to the older section of the City. While it wasn't as run
down and neglected as her home apartment complex, it still had a more
worn, tired look to it, contrasted by the stark white and gray of most
of the inner city. There were simply not enough people living in the
residential areas here to warrant emergency repairs every time the city
suffered under the throws of an Angel.
The smaller businesses thrived here, though. While so many of the
companies had to raise prices and rates to keep up with their hazardous
locations over the Geofront, these little street shops could simply
pack up and move when the danger was too great, and return when things
were safe. Shinji and Asuka were impressed, having no idea such a kind
of thing existed in the ultra-modern Tokyo-3.
They walked down one street to see a small market had gathered, and was
busier than some of the major malls in the inner city. "This is
amazing!" Hikari beamed. "Look at all the stuff here!"
"Hey! Ayanami!" someone called. Rei turned to see an older man run
over to her with a big grin and a large grocery bag over his shoulder.
"Good evening, Mister Sheesa." Rei bowed her head.
"Rei has friends?" Asuka whispered to Shinji with a surprised look on
her face. Shinji shrugged back and smiled.
"You stopping by the place for tea tonight? We have a fresh case of
the Lemon Rose stuff." Sheesa offered, then smiled at the other
children. "These your friends, Ayanami?"
Rei nodded. "They are my classmates..." she blushed and smiled
slightly. "And my friends. But I'm afraid I can't come by tonight.
Maybe next week?"
"Of course!" he chuckled. "I'll save you a parcel of the good stuff.
It will keep for a month or two at least."
"Arigato, Sheesa-san." Rei said happily.
"Sayonara!" he yelled back to the group of kids as he rushed off into
the crowd to serve another customer.
"They're very friendly here." Hikari smiled at Rei.
"Hai. I come here to buy tea once in a while." Rei explained. "He
accepts the NERV expense card, so I often buy at his shop." They
continued walking for a bit.
"I'm impressed, Wonder-girl." Asuka whistled. "I didn't know you liked
to get out and DO anything."
"Asuka!" Shinji frowned.
"Once in a while." Rei said, not offended in the slightest. Actually,
for Asuka, she was being fairly conversational. It was nice.
Finally, they found the ramen stand. It was actually a large, old-
style cart that folded out into a small kitchen, and a bar for people
to sit and eat at.
Only one other person was there, so the group easily found seating.
Rei and Asuka flanked Shinji, while Hikari and Kensuke sat around Toji.
A young man with his hair tied back looked up from his busy little
kitchen and smiled. "What can I get for you young people today?"
Shinji ordered beef-style noodles, Asuka asked for shark-fin, Rei had a
vegetable combo, Hikari and Toji would share a bowl of egg noodles and
soy. Kensuke asked for the cheapest, most humbling tofu-ramen they
had, giving a speech to the poor man on how he would "not abuse the
God-Like and AWESOME power his position gave him."
Shinji laughed and turned to Asuka, who was eyeing the menu
suspiciously. "What it is?" he asked as their noodles were being
prepared.
"Hey, Sir." Asuka said. "We also need a bottle of this stuff." She
pointed at the menu.
The man blinked, then shrugged. "Alright. I suppose between all six
of you it couldn't hurt." He chuckled. "How would you like it?"
"Hot." Asuka nodded. "I hear it's better that way."
Shinji blinked, recognizing the brand-name from Misato's extensive
'collection'. "Sake?"
"What's the matter, Shinji?" she grinned. "Scared of a repeat of last
time?"
He blushed and slunk back down in his chair. "Uhm...not at all..."
"Besides, we need to make a toast!" Asuka explained in her best
'logical' voice. "It's tradition to toast the return of a friend from
a long journey."
"Journey?"
Toji smiled. "Yeah, Ikari. After all, you probably do the most
traveling out of all of us. You're constantly being sucked into Angels
and Evas."
"The greatest journeys are of the soul." Rei said quietly, earning her
a collective look of surprise.
"That's right." Asuka smiled. "And if Ayanami the Philosopher knows it
too, then you can't go against it, can you?"
Rei blushed and Shinji sighed. "I suppose you're right..."
Hikari sighed, worrying already. "Oh my...I don't know..."
"Don't worry, Hikari. You can't get drunk off of just a few sips."
Toji nodded. "If you want, just have a toast."
Kensuke nodded. "I too will only have a toast to victory! I must
remain sober and vigilant at all times."
Asuka sighed. "Besides, THAT boy needs to get drunk more than anyone."
"Hai hai." Shinji chuckled softly as the cook placed a small sake glass
in front of each of them, then produced a steaming ceramic bottle of
the stuff, warmed by being in the boiling water with the noodles.
"Alright, kids. Behave." The man winked. "Soups almost done."
"You're right, though." Shinji nodded as he poured sake into Rei and
Asuka's glasses, then handed it to Toji to do the same. "They're very
nice here."
Once the rice wine was properly distributed, Asuka cleared her throat.
"Well, then. I propose a toast." She raised her tiny glass. "Let's
all thank the Invincible Shinji-sama for not getting turned into goo
permanently, and welcome him back so he can help us take over NERV."
That met smiles and nodes. "Kapai!" they all saluted, then threw back
the warm sake. Rei and Hikari hesitated, but managed to swallow it
with a surprised look on their faces.
They all took deep breaths, letting the wine hit them. "Woah." Shinji
coughed. "You were right, much better warm."
Rei hiccupped with a blush. "That was very...interesting."
Asuka grinned and poured her another. "Just wait till your eighth hit
of it. It gets REALLY interesting then."
"Asuka!" Shinji warned.
"Just kidding." She grinned. "Though, we do have enough for one more
toast." She continued to pour, then passed it down the row. "You get
to toast this time, Shinji-kun."
Shinji blushed, but his friends nodded and urged him on. "Uhm...World
Peace?"
Asuka groaned. "You're thinking to broad. Sake can't give you world
peace, so you gotta ask for something smaller."
"Okay, then." Shinji nodded and waited for everyone to be ready.
"I...I hope we can do this again..." he smiled. "After all the Angels
are gone."
"Yosh! I'll drink to that!" Toji smiled and raised his glass as the
rest nodded.
"Kapai!"
"Shinji-kun wants to be me?"
Kaoru nodded with a smile as he and Kaji walked down the hall of the
apartment building, each carrying a bag of groceries. "Well, he didn't
say that exactly, but he said he wanted to be head of the secret
service guys. Protecting everyone and finding out all the secrets."
Kaji laughed quietly. "The boy has the wrong idea about me."
"Still, it's nice to hear." Kaoru laughed. "I was praying he wouldn't
chose to be the next Gendo Ikari."
"I don't think you could have FORCED him to." Kaji shook his head.
"Hell, I don't think ANYONE wants to be Gendo." He reached over and
took Kaoru's groceries as the teacher opened the door.
"Very true." Kaoru said, pushing the door open. "That man is one sick
puppy. He's..."
"Right here." Kaji blinked, dropping the food.
That was right about the time that the sound of a dozen automatic
weapons cocking and getting ready to fire filled the room.
Gendo Ikari sat on the couch as several Security Division people in
Kevlar vests walked up to the two men and surrounded them. The door
shut a moment later. "Curious observations, gentlemen." He said in a
low voice.
Both of them swallowed hard.
"I would think that one would rather be myself, than in your shoes at
this point in time." Gendo smiled slightly, the dim light echoing off
of his glasses as he stood up and walked over to them. Two of the
Agents moved off to the side, but kept their guns pointed firmly at the
two men. "Agent Ryouji, I'm surprised to find you here. Would you
mind telling me why you aren't working on your assignment?"
"Who says I'm not?" Kaji said, pretending to be offended. "You
underestimate my ability to multi-task, Ikari."
"I never underestimate people." Gendo said, pointedly, then turned to
Kaoru. "In fact, I find that most people do not live up to my over-
estimates. Surely you knew that."
"I had my suspicions." Kaoru nodded. Though it was clear he was
nervous, he realized he wasn't dead yet. If Kaji could stay calm, so
could he.
"Indeed." Gendo frowned, sizing up the man. Kaji watched the exchange,
completely fascinated by the odd tension between them. Gendo looked
almost like he had his tongue caught. He wanted to say something, but
didn't really know what to say. "You were the one that sent me the
note." He said finally.
Kaoru smiled again, this time with much confidence. "I wasn't
expecting you to take so long to react to it, though." Kaji had the
impression that this whole thing was orchestrated and practiced in the
Sensei's mind.
Knowing anyone could know Gendo Ikari that well was just as scary as
the actual fact.
"I've been busy." Gendo nodded. "I don't waste time when I don't have
to."
"Slow week, then?" Kaoru shrugged. "With the dummy plug failing, I
would have imagined that you'd be unable to share some time with a
humble teacher."
Gendo's eyes crimped into narrow slits.
"Where is she." He said.
Kaoru blinked. Kaji noticed. He was caught off guard by the question.
"Where is she?" he alliterated.
"Rei." Gendo said. Though his voice was still low, it was hardly calm.
"You will tell me where Rei is."
"She was at school today." Kaoru shrugged, looking honestly confused.
"Actually, she came in late. I assume she would be home now."
All of a sudden, the coolness snapped, and Gendo reached into his coat,
pulling out a handgun and pressing it firmly into Sensei Kaoru's collar
bone, pushing the man back slightly.
"I will warn you once, and only once." Gendo stated with a dangerous
voice. "I do not have time for games. I will not play games with you.
I have neither the patience, nor the desire to humour whatever plans
and designs you have."
Kaji sighed and wondered if last rites were in order for the Sensei.
The bearded man continued after only a heartbeat. "And while I do
appreciate your efforts to remove the Third Child from my sight, your
usefulness to me is drawing to an end."
The gun cocked. Gendo's polite way of saying "Start talking."
Sensei Kaoru looked down at Gendo's gun, then back up at the man.
"Tell me...how's your hand doing?"
Gendo's eyes widened behind their glass shields. Kaji had never seen
such a reaction, and took a step back, not knowing what to expect. All
of a sudden, Kaoru's hand came up and grabbed Gendo's wrist, forcing it
away from him.
"DON'T MOVE!" the Agents yelled, ignoring Kaji completely, and pressing
gun barrels to the other man's head in an effort to save their
Commander.
But Kaoru was just smiling. Gendo didn't look away, but retracted his
hand. "Wait. Don't shoot." He ordered to the confused escorts.
Kaoru nodded slightly. "You know, it's not polite to stick guns to
people's chests." He cleared his throat, releasing Gendo's hand.
"Especially in their own homes."
Gendo took a step back, his gun forgotten, but still in hand. "Perhaps
you're right." His mouth edged up in a grimace of a smile.
"I don't know where she is." Kaoru said finally. "Perhaps if you
weren't threatening people with guns all the time, you'd know where she
was."
Gendo raised his hand, but this time, to adjust the glasses on his
nose. "I will call upon you again." He stated as he moved past,
towards the door. The security escort followed, still very much
confused. In all likelihood, they were told today would be an
assassination job.
"I look forward to it." Kaoru nodded, watching them leave, all too
eager to close the door behind the man.
Silence followed.
Kaji slumped slightly, leaning back against the wall as he ran his hand
over his stubble. "Well, that was another one of my nine lives."
Kaoru nodded, taking off his glasses to reveal very frightened, but
relieved eyes. "You're telling me." He rubbed his collar.
After a moment, Kaji finally couldn't handle the suspense. "So what
did you say to him?? I've never seen him act like that?"
Kaoru shrugged. "Maybe he had to go to the Little Gendo's Room." He
smiled.
Kaji sighed, then helped him pick up the groceries. "You're going to
tell me someday, right?"
"Maybe." Kaoru nodded. "But I think there's been enough surprises for
one day."
Kaji nodded after thinking about it for a moment. "Amen to that."
As the car roared away from the residential block, heading back for
underground and safety, Gendo rubbed at his hand absently, watching the
buildings fly by.
His mind was busy. While it didn't show much in his appearance, his
eyes were fierce storms of activity. The pieces were slowly coming
together in his brain. It was strange, though. Gaps were still there
in the final picture. Gendo hated these gaps.
Ever since NERV had come into existence, cannibalizing the efforts,
personnel and dreams of it's parent organization, Gehirn, Gendo had
been in charge of it all. It was all one, beautiful, seamless
masterpiece. Every possible hole was plugged with backup plans.
Favours would be called upon and 'given' as easily as lives would
shift, be lost, and replace each other. The people below him would
scramble over each other's dead bodies to make HIS plans become truth.
Those over him would be blind in their confidence in command. SEELE
thought they had an obedient, capable commander, when really, SEELE was
nothing to the man. Another child wanting attention in his mind's eye.
He would only humour them so far before making his intentions known.
But this Sensei Kaoru...
He did not fit. Perhaps, he mused, in the same way that he did not fit
with SEELE's plans. Yes...that seemed very plausible. After all,
while the Old Men were children, even children could sometimes achieve
surprising results.
Shinji had proven that theory to him on many occasions. He proved it
in the ways he had always wished Rei to succeed. The way he knew she
would...but wondered if it would be enough.
The Security team didn't say anything, choosing to relax from the tense
few moments that just occurred and let the adrenalin run it's course.
With the Commander so deep in thought, it would be suicide to make even
the tiniest peep anyway.
"I want that man under surveillance Twenty-Four-Seven." Gendo demanded.
"Hai." They replied in unison.
"Do not let him know. No mistakes. Any failure will answer to me
directly."
One of the younger members...one of the team that hadn't quite learned
to shut up around the Commander, finally cleared his throat. "Sir...If
I may ask...why did we pull out?"
Gendo regarded the younger man with an eerie smile. "I underestimated
someone today." He looked back, out the window as the tunnel enveloped
them, and the only light was an orange tinge reflecting off the
Commander's glasses.
"Underestimated?" the boy blinked.
"It seems I may have underestimated the Old Men."
"SEELE, sir?"
"Yes. They're behind this. It's the only explanation." He grinned to
himself. "This should make an interesting diversion as we wait for the
last Three."
The Security Agents all swallowed hard.
Thirty-Fifth Lesson: "Missing You"
Something in the air seemed different as Professor Fuyutsuki read his
morning paper on the Monorail. Maybe it was the occasional cough or
rustle of a newspaper down the cart that caught his attention. After
all, normally the train was dead this early in the morning. He had
only seen other NERV employees one time during his several months of
using the train since it had been built.
He ignored it, though. Probably just his nerves. They had been rather
frazzled lately. While a normal person would have overlooked the
changes in the Commander's personality, Fuyutsuki knew better. The
moment you overlooked something in his presence, that was the moment he
could use. The Commander was very good at using people.
But lately, he had been preoccupied. Not so much with work and papers,
but rather internally. Something was plaguing his mind. Something
that did not have a definitive answer...yet was important enough for
the man to mull over for what had to be two months now. Even before
Unit-01's "awakening".
NERV was fairing well, though. While it was clear it's Commander
thought otherwise, Fuyutsuki was beginning to wonder if it was a simple
case of unexpected luck. Gendo hated luck, and always planned against
it...never for it. It was something children and fools played with.
Men with vision had no time for it.
The Sub-Commander, however, believed that not only did luck exist, but
it was the only reason NERV was fairing so well against the angels.
All the Evangelion Units were ready to sortie at a moments
notice...even if Unit-01 was currently in Lock-Down status. The pilots
were intact, alive, and mostly well. Toji had even showed that the
broken legs he suffered in the last Angel's attacks did little to
hinder his performance as a Pilot, and his training had gone very well.
Repairs to Headquarters were nearing completion, and most of the
personnel were happy...if a bit on edge.
He had always wondered what it would be like to see the Awakening.
They had known it would happen...all possibilities accounted for showed
that it would only take a matter of time. One Angel would threaten
Shinji in a certain way...threaten something that he loved...and it
would be more than enough to get Yui to...
That was silly...there was no indication it had been Yui's doing...
Still, Fuyutsuki had known. While Gendo would never admit it, he
probably saw too.
The old man smiled to himself. All this because of a woman. How would
history judge them? Would they be the great, unseen heroes...or
villains? Or would they just be a stupid husband who refused to give
his wife up to fate...and a lost puppy of a man who followed just as
much for a crush as he did for a sense of duty?
And even then...that sense of duty was instilled into him by Yui. He
owed everything to the woman...Who he was had been shaped so radically.
He had turned from a self-proclaimed pencil pusher professor at Tokyo-
U, into a man with a passion for life...a reason to exist...and a goal
to reach for.
It was the one thing...the only thing...that allowed him to tolerate
the great injustice and insanity that was Gendo Ikari.
He held his time with Yui as the counterbalance to all the lies. The
atrocities at he himself had both witnessed and caused. The shadow
games and dark secrets were all justified. He supposed that's how
Gendo managed to get up every morning.
But as the train slowed to a stop, the feeling was growing stronger
that something wasn't right. Something that didn't even fit all these
lies he had to live with every morning.
The shadows around him...three men...as they entered the train station
just before the tunnel that went into the Geofront were proof of this.
He was not familiar with these shadows. They were not NERV's.
"Come with us, sir." One said sternly.
"This isn't my stop." Fuyutsuki sighed, folding his paper.
"It is now." Another of the three said, reaching into his coat and
pulling out the butt of a gun of some sort.
The old man frowned, looking up at the three. "Then lets get this over
with." He stood. "Maybe then SEELE will stop wasting my time."
The first man smiled slightly. Obviously, the SEELE reference a
pleasant surprise. He had probably been told that the Sub-Commander
was nothing more than Gendo's lapdog...but it was clear the old man had
a bit of whit to him.
"And you won't need your guns." He sighed, tiredly.
"Of course not, Fuyutsuki-Sensei." The man nodded with a small grin.
The three men relaxed a bit, but still looked very serious. As the
train stopped, they ushered him to the door, and then to a car with
bullet-proof windows.
"I'm getting too old for this bullshit." He grumbled to himself as they
sped off.
Misato groaned as her alarm clock started blaring it's tiny little
heart and soul out, hoping to wake her from another booze-enhanced
slumber. "Must...kill...alarm..." she cringed. A shaky arm slowly
extended out from the edge of the messy futon covers.
However, the alarm clicked off before she could reach it.
It only took her a heartbeat to realize something wasn't right, and one
more to literally spring-roll out of bed, reaching for her gun on the
dresser.
And one more heartbeat to see Kaji smiling like an idiot, holding her
alarm clock in one hand and her holster in the other. "Hey, Katsuragi-
chan, do you greet every man in your bedroom like that?" he smirked as
her eyebrows dropped and she began to growl.
He eyed her then grinned, turning away slightly. "While your manners
are certainly something to be left desired, I must say your outfit
might just overcome that nasty temper of y..."
A large book slammed into his forehead and Kaji promptly toppled over.
Misato grumbled and retrieved her gun from his twitching hand. "Good
morning to you too, asshole." She huffed, straightening out her
nightclothes so they weren't revealing pretty much anything that could
be revealed. "Now get up and get the hell out. I don't have to work
for another four hours, and I intend to catch up on my sleep."
"W..." Kaji coughed, sitting up in the mess he had been tossed into.
"We need to talk." He shook off the book, cringing as he touched the
bump on his head. "Was THAT really necessary?"
"It's not polite to enter a woman's room without her permission."
Misato grumbled, moving to the closet to pick out a slightly less
revealing bath robe. "You're lucky I couldn't get to my gun!"
"That's exactly why I took it away first." Kaji sighed, nursing his
wound. "I wasn't expecting 'Attack of the Encyclopaedia', though."
"You always did underestimate me." Misato grinned to herself slightly.
"And look where it gets you." She turned and frowned. "And it's a
Thesaurus. Not an Encyclopaedia."
"I'm serious." Kaji frowned.
"So am I. It's definitely a Thesaurus."
He stood abruptly, slamming the clock against the ground. The poor
little thing gave out more sound as it broke apart than it ever did in
use.
Misato jumped, then turned. "What the HELL are you doing!??!"
"This is SERIOUS!" he yelled. A very long silence cut the
conversation.
Finally, Misato sighed, then nodded. "I'll be out in a bit. There's
tea and stuff in the kitchen. Watch out for Pen-Pen's food dish."
He nodded, then walked out of the bedroom, finding his way to the
kitchen. "The place looks nice." He commented.
"Shinji's a big help. Asuka too." Misato called out from the hall as
sounds of muffled clothing were heard. "So why the hell did you come
by so early, anyway?" she grumbled, finally sticking her head out of
the hall, still putting on her pants behind the wall, though.
"Because Shinji and Asuka are at school." Kaji nodded.
"So?"
"So is their teacher." Kaji frowned.
Misato sighed to herself. "If this is about me going out with him once
or twice..."
Kaji smiled...abet darkly. "If you think this is some stupid jealous
grudge, I'm going to love surprising you."
She sighed and finally emerged, fully clothed and fighting with her
hair to make it slightly presentable. "So, what is this all about?"
she said, sitting down across from him on the table.
"A lot of things." Kaji said, relaxing against the chair, still fussing
over his bump. "But, I suppose it couldn't hurt to start at the
beginning." He cleared his throat. "A few months ago, much to my
dismay, Commander Ikari doled out a special mission to me that I hadn't
quite expected. It was supposed to be just a quick two days of on-site
surveillance."
"Where was it?" Misato shrugged.
"Nevada." Kaji smiled. "Two guesses where to, and I'll give you a
hint...I didn't have any time for gambling."
"The Second Branch?" Misato blinked. "Why?"
"Ikari wanted to make sure it sunk into itself." He leaned forward.
"Misato...I know you know that there are more enemies out there than
just the Angels."
Misato's eyes went wide, and she nodded.
"The Second Branch was SEELE's proverbial bitch. If the Commander is
good for anything, one of the things he IS good at is keeping the old
men in check. Chances are we would have bitten off more than we could
chew with Unit-04."
"You can say that again..." Misato nodded, pondering the situation.
Unit-03 had been able to make short work of all three other Evas during
it's Dummy Plug run. If SEELE was pulling the strings behind an Eva...
And...as amazing as Shinji was...he wasn't exactly consistent.
"So you went to make sure Unit-04 disappeared?" she asked.
"Yes." Kaji smiled, leaning forward as he got into the story. "And
I'm going to tell you a secret..." he paused for dramatic effect. "It
didn't."
Misato's eyes were wide. "What?!?"
"It took a flying step right over my head, Misato." Kaji smiled. "I
have to tell you, it was quite amazing. I think I lost five years off
my life, though."
"W...Where did it go!?!?"
"The coast. I expect the ocean afterwards. All sensors accessible to
NERV lost contact somewhere near the old ruins of L.A.." Kaji shrugged.
"For all we know, it's hiding under the Geofront."
"Who was piloting it?!?" Misato sighed. "This is horrible!"
"Nobody."
"What do you mean, nobody?"
"I mean it came to life during a test that did not even see a Dummy
Plug...let alone an Entry Plug...inserted into the spine." Kaji smiled.
"I have the pictures to prove it. Unless they came up with a way for
an Evangelion to run with it's hatch wide open and a terminator
inserted inside, it was completely dormant. Even as it ran off."
Misato sat and stared at him, dumfounded. Kaji waited patiently for
her to digest the information before continuing.
"Now, when Commander Ikari saw this, he was quite irritated. It was
then that I decided that my mission would be worth my time." He smiled.
"Anything that the Commander hasn't counted on is something I love to
find out."
She nodded weakly.
"Anyway, during the investigation into why Unit-04 decided to go on
vacation, I came across a few interesting computer records." He smiled.
"Tell me, do you watch many movies, Misato?"
"A...uh...I used to. Back in the old days..." Misato shrugged. "Why?"
"Commander Ikari also brought to light the fact that our Magi have been
hacked recently."
Misato just blinked. "But...that's..."
"Next to impossible, I know. But it was such a coincidence with the
Unit-04 problem that I decided they must be related. Oddly enough,
nobody could figure out what changed. I was checking the lists of new
personnel in all NERV branches to see how many people could have had
access to other Magi, or the facilities that one would need to hack
into ours." He grinned. "One name in particular caught my attention."
She watched him reach into his pocket and pulled out two small cases.
One of the more popular movie-formats of the time, a pair of three-inch
DVD cases. One case was entitled "Princess Mononoke", while the other
was "Seven Samurai." "What's this?" she asked, examining the two disks
as he handed them to her.
"The name 'Kurosawa' appears on Seven Samurai. First name, Akira.
While I've personally only seen two of his movies, I must say, the man
was brilliant. This was back during Japan's post World War II days
when the majority of our country's movies involved bad melodrama." He
smiled. "Some consider him one of the best directors of all time."
"So what does this have to do with your mission?" Misato frowned, then
glanced at the second disk. All colour dropped from her face. "Oh..."
"A man named Kaoru Kurosawa had started working at the Second Branch
only a week before it's disappearance. However, he had the credentials
to begin working in the Operations Department as a service technician."
Kaji said, rubbing his forehead lightly. "While there's no indication
he's a computer hacker, he would definitely have had access to the
Second Branch Magi." He then smiled. "Imagine my surprise that another
Kaoru had appeared in Tokyo-3 around the same time...with a family name
also known in the entertainment industry." He pointed at the Princess
Mononoke disk...an old Anime from the 20 Century. "Miyazaki happened
to be quite a pioneer himself...though his field was in groundbreaking
anime titles."
Misato looked up at Kaji with a startled look. "Oh god..."
"Now, I was only able to figure this out due to my love of cartoons."
Kaji grinned proudly. "Another man might have overlooked the
connection." He shook his head. "The kind of alias and record-
switching this man has apparently done should be impossible due to
NERV's extensive checking system. However, he pulled it off...and
quite seamlessly I might add."
"I...Is he a spy?" Misato asked.
"I thought so to. It would explain all the high-tech tricks that have
been pulled. However, when I confronted him, it was quite clear he did
not have the training." He smiled to himself.
"You..." Misato blinked. "You KNOW him? You've talked to him?"
"Yes." Kaji nodded. "I found something in his apartment that got me
very angry." He sighed. "I was about to put a bullet in his head when
he said something that convinced me he might not be the enemy."
"Wait..." Misato frowned. "What did you find in his apartment?"
Kaji sighed, and tapped his head. "A syncro-headset. Like the ones
Shinji and Asuka wear." He frowned. "It looked beat up...quite
frankly, my worst thoughts were that the man was a pervert who rummaged
through the trash to find a souvenir of the Children so he could have
something to whack-off over."
Misato's eyes looked horrified, the colour completely gone from her
features. "Oh my god..."
"But." Kaji advised, raising his finger to halt the mental images.
"It's not like that at all. He knows things, Misato. Things that some
pervert off the street could never have known in a million years." He
leaned forward. "The man told me the password to the Eva Graveyard."
She blinked. "The...Graveyard?" Misato herself had only heard bits
and pieces of it from Ritsuko. Her security clearance did not let her
simply walk down to the bowels of NERV to actually see it for herself,
though...not that she ever wanted to.
"And more." Kaji leaned back, shaking his head. "More than I knew
existed...and I knew a lot...not that I'm bragging." He looked
completely serious...the joking tones away from his voice. "It freaked
the hell out of me, Misato...and it made me realize that this Kaoru guy
was not part of Gendo's plan...whoever he is."
"This..." Misato swallowed hard. "This is a lot to take in, Kaji-
kun..."
"I know. Come on." He stood.
"W...where are we going?" Misato blinked.
"Somewhere we can talk safely." He shook his head. "I don't trust the
walls here."
Numbly, Misato nodded and grabbed her jacket. "I could use a drink..."
"Good. So could I." Kaji nodded as they walked out the door. "Because
I haven't even told you half of it yet."
Sensei Miyazaki sighed nervously as he waited in the principal's
office. He wondered how many students would be laughing at him for
having to share the same fate so many of them did during their most
rebellious times.
He was a little bit surprised to hear his name on the announcements
that morning. So was his class, who was up to their elbows in the new
assignment. Kaoru apologized and told them he would be back as soon as
he could.
But he was not worried about the project. The new school year had only
just started by old standards, and they would have plenty of time
before...
before...
well, they would still have a month or two before that came anyway.
But, he had not finished yet. He still had much to go through...to
make sure his plan would not dissolve so soon afterwards. It had been
a big risk changing and challenging the new year's curriculum...and it
was now he realized he would pay for it.
Kaoru began to wonder if he would still have a job walking out of the
office.
When Principal Yamamoto walked in with a small folder of papers in his
hand, casually looking at them with a sigh, Kaoru feared the worst.
They were probably parent complaints that the children hadn't been
learning the required material.
"A very interesting fact has come to my attention, Miyazaki." He said,
throwing the folder of papers onto the desk in front of them, but
pausing to get a fresh cup of coffee before he started.
Kaoru had to physically resist the temptation to open the folder and
burn the evidence. He did manage to say: "Oh? What kind of fact,
sir??"
"An unexpected one." The principal shook his head as he tried to find
his sugar-cubes. "Quite frankly, I haven't seen anything like this
since before the Second Impact."
The Sensei swallowed hard.
"I assume you have something to do with these papers." He sat down and
took the folder back up in his hands as he set down the coffee. "This
is really surprising to have so many applications. Especially
considering three of these students had poor grades coming into the
year."
Kaoru blinked. The Principal blinked back. "Oh, didn't my secretary
tell you what I wanted to talk to you about?"
"N...no, sir?" Kaoru blinked again.
The Principal laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just surprised that so
many of your students have been inquiring about Tokyo and Kyoto
University. I had two calls just this morning with parents wondering
if we had some kind of seminar, since their kids were asking about
them."
"Well, I was showing the students what they can look forward to after
school, and the assignment was to pick out courses they think they
might like to try." Kaoru said, taking a mental deep breath.
"So I heard." Yamamoto smiled. "That's actually something we used to
try to do with the students before everything got crazy here in Tokyo-
3. When the kids know more about their future, they pay better
attention to it and what they need to know now."
Kaoru smiled. "Exactly my thought, sir."
"I'd also like to run over your class average marks from the summer."
Yamamoto said, pulling out another piece of paper from his desk. "I'm
very pleased with them as well. Ten of the lower-scoring students in
your class have finally managed to break into the acceptable
bracket...including this Rei Ayanami...who had almost been nonexistent
in our records besides a sketchy attendance history."
"She's quite smart." Kaoru beamed. "I think she just needed something
to spark her attention."
The older man nodded. "Kaoru, I have to be blunt with you...this is
not normal."
Kaoru blinked. "Sir?"
"While I am praising the results of your classroom presence, you know
as well as I do that others have tried this 'hands off' approach
before, only to screw up big-time. If your students were one iota less
than their current mark, I would be of sound mind to fire your ass."
"Err..."
"However, I like what I see so far." Yamamoto smiled again. "And I
want you to prepare a speech for the teacher's conference next week."
Kaoru's jaw opened. "B...but, why, sir?"
"Because you're the best teacher on my staff at the moment, and every
school is invited to share something with the others. You get to
represent our school..." he smiled. "And hopefully teach the other
senseis out there a thing or two."
Kaoru shook his head. "But...sir, this is..."
"A big honour...and you can not say no to me." Yamamoto smiled evilly.
"Is that clear?"
"Hai, sir."
"Friday, seven-twenty, at the Omoi Presentation Centre. Make sure your
speech is a good one. I hear they start booing if it's too boring."
Kaoru swallowed hard. "Ha...hai..."
"Now, get back to class. I'm sure you have work to do."
"Few things in life are as freaky as watching Commander Ikari become
worried." Kaji sighed as he ordered another beer.
Misato nodded. While she herself had ordered a beer, she was only on
her first one. Her mind was simply moving to fast, trying to take in
all the information. "My biggest question is how do the Children fit
into all of this."
"Mine too." Kaji admitted. "I'm not sure if this is just another
Gendo Ikari we're dealing with or not." He turned to Misato. "He was
actually sad that Shinji had to come back and fight with that last
Angel...I don't know if that's because he wanted Shinji to be safe...or
if he wanted him out of the way."
"So what are you going to do?" Misato asked, looking up at him from her
beer. "You can't just keep tagging along like this. Why haven't you
demanded to know the full story?"
Kaji turned away suddenly. "Because...I might not want to know it."
Misato frowned. "What's that supposed to mean."
"You heard me." Kaji sighed. "I might not like what he has to tell me.
He seems to be always right...and I don't want to know how this all
turns out at the end."
"What ever happened to 'blazing ahead' for the truth?" Misato grumbled.
"What ever happened to Kaji the Super-Spy?"
"He grew up when he saw the dead faces of a dozen Evas." Kaji frowned.
"He grew up even more when he saw that whatever he did...he could do
nothing to effect the course of that bastard's Master Plan."
Misato glared at him. "That's bullshit."
"And..." Kaji continued. "I grew up a lot more when I realized that
your beloved Sensei is not part of Gendo's plan...and he seems to have
the power to change it."
Misato sighed, shaking her head. "This is a lot of trust you're giving
to a man who could just be a perverted, child-molester."
"Really?" Kaji smiled with just a hint of venom in his features. "I
thought you proved that theory wrong when you let him into your bed."
Her face screwed up into a sneer. "That is none of your business."
Their emerging argument was cut off as Kaji's cell phone rang. He
sighed and answered it. "Yeah?"
Misato waited with a grumble, finally starting on her beer, as Kaji
listened to the phone. He said nothing thought. Probably a NERV
automated message.
He finally closed the unit a moment later and sighed, standing
abruptly. "Misato, I have to go. It looks like I have a new mission."
"Anything to do with the Sensei?" Misato blinked.
"No." Kaji said. "Actually, this is a bit of a surprise. But I can't
talk now. Will you meet me tomorrow?"
"Why should I?" Misato sighed. "Will you have more secrets by then you
want to confuse me with? Or just to insult m..."
"Dinner." Kaji interrupted. "What do you say?" he smiled softly, but
then turned. "I have to go. I'll pick you up at eight."
Misato blinked, then sighed. "Alright. Later."
She watched him leave, then turned to her beer. "It's too early in the
morning to drink..." but finished it anyway.
The room was cold. Air...yes...that was the connection. It seemed he
could almost smell the air that was around the Old Men at times like
this. For all he knew, one of the men that picked him up on the train
was one of the head members.
One by one, they appeared. Perfect, black monoliths. Each numbered
and titled with red digital text, replacing their private 'in person'
conference mode with these much more private stone faces. Only their
voices came through unblocked...and even then...many were disguised.
Only the most pompous and fearless would use their true voices in the
Old Sensei's presence.
"Fuyutsuki-Sensei." This would be one of them. Chairman Keel, while
still behind the 01 Monolith, was well known to the Sub-Commander.
"Thank you for coming."
"I did not have much choice in the matter." Fuyutsuki replied with a
tired huff of his voice.
SEELE 04 spoke next. "We apologize for the circumstances in which we
have forced upon you...but they are necessary."
"We are concerned with the direction the Commander is taking in the
Project." SEELE 01 stated. "Several of our leads have turned up
nothing, however, and we have been forced to turn to his Second In
Command."
"For the interest of the Project." Another monolith said behind him.
"Yes. We fear the Project may be in danger."
Fuyutsuki sighed. "Well, I will try my best to help...in the Project's
best interests. But you must realize that I am still only his Second
in Command."
"Of course. Still, information may flow to you much easier than it
would to any of us." Keel said. "With Unit-01 taking the S2 Engine
into itself, we have created something that may be equal to a God's
power."
"Man should not be allowed to create such things." SEELE 07 mentioned
to itself, but said nothing more.
"What does Ikari intend to do with this power?" Keel continued. "This
is much more than we thought to give him in our past Project
speculations." A long pause. "Will he use it responsibly?"
Fuyutsuki smiled to himself. As if anyone could answer that question
but Gendo himself. "I do not think it is up to him to decide. He will
follow the Project to it's completion. There is no doubt of that."
A long pause, but not an angry one. It seemed to be a good enough
answer for the Old Men.
"And what of the other matter?" one of the Old Men asked suddenly.
"Ah, yes." Keel said. "Fuyutsuki-sensei...What can you tell us of this
man...Miyazaki?"
"Who?" Fuyutsuki blinked.
"I believe he is known as the new sensei teaching the Four Children."
Fuyutsuki smiled to himself. He should have known. "Ahh...well, I
must say, whatever it is your man has been saying certainly has the
Commander on edge."
A long...long pause.
"Our man?"
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Yes. I assume he is working for you?"
A long pause. Three of the monoliths disappeared...including 01.
Finally, after about a minute, they re-appeared.
"We will talk more on this tomorrow, Fuyutsuki-sensei. Thank you for
your co-operation."
The monoliths all faded away, and the door leading back to his cell
opened up. Fuyutsuki stayed there for a moment, though, consumed in
thought.
"He's not one of them..." the old man smiled to himself. "Well...this
will certainly be interesting..."
Thirty-Sixth Lesson: "I spy"
It really was a shame that these favours had to be called on so early
in the game. While he did not have the omnipresent, reaching resources
that Commander Ikari had, Kaji prided himself on his tight network of
contacts, friends, and people who owed him favours.
Several had to be settled to even when he received the mission
specification. After all, infiltrating SEELE, even in such a rundown,
unassuming warehouse that few knew about, and even fewer thought was
used for anything...well...even at this level, it was insanely
dangerous.
Still, something had been powering him lately. Misato had been
right...he still strove to find the secrets...to shine a flashlight on
them so the old men would sweat and make the mistakes he needed to
continue...
So long as he pretended he didn't know the outcome of it all, he could
fool himself to waking up in the morning. He could pretend that this
might all be worth something despite his fears.
And, once in a while, he found himself hoping that Kaoru Miyazaki knew
what he was doing.
To those watching him...had they been able to after his 'favours'
disabled the security cameras and systems...would have wondered what
was on Kaji's mind. The abandoned warehouse seemed to echo with each
one of his expensive, comfortable dress-shoes hitting the tiled floor
at their leisurely pace.
With a hand in his pocket, he strolled down the hall, counting the
doors to his right, knowing his destination was only a bit further.
For some reason, he kept having the feeling of deja-vue that had been
plaguing him lately.
Still, besides the feeling he had done this all before, he could only
sense safety ahead. With a sigh, he tapped in a seven number sequence
into the keypad...hoping the rather lucrative favour he had to waste on
learning the sequence would pay off.
It did, and he was greeted with the quick swish of the door opening.
An older man looked up, not really startled, but with a surprised
expression on his face. "It's been a long time, Kaji-san." The Sub-
Commander smiled.
"Likewise." Kaji smiled in his perpetual easy-going way. With the door
still open, he walked to Fuyutsuki and knelt down behind him to untie
his hands that had been bound by nylon rope. "Can you believe the room
service in this dump? It's appalling!"
That earned a genuine chuckle from the old Sensei. "Still..." he shook
his head. "I didn't expect anyone to come. This could mean a lot of
trouble for you, you know."
"I know." Kaji said simply, shrugging as he stood and helped Fuyutsuki
to his feet.
"Why do you do this?" the Sub-Commander sighed as they walked out. The
door slid shut a moment later, locked by a new, randomly generated
code. "They would have let me go eventually."
Kaji considered the question for a moment as they walked out into the
deserted outdoors.
"I like changing their plans." He said. "It gives me hope that we can
still win this."
Fuyutsuki smiled and followed him to the old NERV jeep. "You too? I
thought I was the only one..."
"Abducted?!" Misato coughed, nearly spitting out her coffee.
Ritsuko sighed and nodded. "They're trying to get him back ass soon as
possible...but most of the trouble is getting around possible traitors
in the Security Branch. We already know it was someone internal that
let him get captured."
"What is the Commander saying?" Ritsuko shook her head. "He can't be
happy."
"He rarely is lately." Ritsuko mused, mostly to herself, before turning
her attentions back to the screens. All four Children were being
monitored on the flat-screen panel. They all looked very serene,
actually...but the readings showed it was only their attempts at
concentration that were calming. "Mmm..."
"Mmm-what?" Misato sighed, looking over at the readouts. This had been
one of the first times the Children had been called in to sync...the
staff still wary of Unit-01's behaviour.
Shinji was showing a slight drop in his sync-ratio...no more than was
expected after his month long absence, and certainly, he was fairing
much better than they had feared. He was such a fragile child...it
wouldn't take much for him to snap into uselessness. Luckily, his time
with Unit-01 didn't seem to be detrimental.
Toji and Rei were showing slight improvements over last time...adding
to their steady climb to the level of Shinji and Asuka's ability...
Well...
Not quite Asuka's.
Misato didn't even have to look at the readout to see something was
wrong. While the red-head's face seemed calm, she would occasionally
catch a crinkle of her eyebrow...or a bit longer breath than normal.
"She has been wracking herself over Shinji's disappearance all last
month..." Ritsuko sighed. "Maya told me that she actually started
hanging around, just in case she could help. I'm not surprised at the
result."
Misato nodded wordlessly, taking a sip of coffee.
"The question is...what's still on her mind?" Ritsuko said, looking up
at Misato like she would know the answers.
Strangely enough, she did.
"Do you know what day it is today?" Misato turned to the blonde
scientist. When she received a puzzled look, Misato sighed. "A week
before her birthday. And also the anniversary of her mother's accident
inside Unit-02."
Ritsuko blinked, then turned back. "Her mother's suicide?"
"No...that actually took place a few weeks later." Misato whispered.
"I'm not sure Asuka fully remembers the significance of today, though."
"It seems she had a very busy Fall, that year." Ritsuko shook her head.
"Being drafted into Project E, and watching her family rip itself
apart."
"Not to mention what's been happening lately." She leaned forward,
resting her mug in her hands. "We've all been working our asses
off...Shinji's been in various liquid states, and changes are happening
in both NERV and their personal lives. Asuka must feel the world is
falling apart again."
"But..." Ritsuko sighed. "At the risk of sounding completely
insensitive..." a small smile. "She seems happier now that Shinji's
back."
"Maybe." Misato nodded. "But even then, I bet there are a lot of mixed
feelings. You know the record as well as she does..." a sad sigh.
"Asuka has yet to defeat an Angel on her own. The saviour she despises
so much is also the boy she could not let go all last month."
Ritsuko said nothing, watching the screens, gazing at each of the
Children's faces.
"We seem to have a lot of that here..." Misato whispered, now mostly to
herself. "The ones that do want to be saviours fail...the ones that
don't are forced to fight."
"What was that?" Ritsuko turned back to her friend, blinking.
"Nothing." The Major smiled softly. "Just thinking out loud." She
looked at the calendar. "Of course, all this just might be because
Asuka's hitting her period."
"You know the results wouldn't fluctuate that much..." Ritsuko shook
her head. "We tested Ayanami all throughout her puberty, and the
readings never spiked or fell due to that kind of thing."
Misato raised an eyebrow. "Well, of course not...the Commander has no
use for menstrual cycles. Rei wouldn't bother with them unless she was
ordered to."
Ritsuko shot her an odd look, half disgusted, half angry.
The Major shook it off. "I was kidding."
Not far away, Rei sneezed out a bubble into the LCL. Her eyes cracked
open, angrily. "Someone is talking about me again..." she sighed.
"What's got you in such a foul mood today, anyway?" Ritsuko mumbled.
Misato considered a response. "My alarm clock broke."
"Ahh."
The Major stewed a bit on some thoughts Kaji had brought to her
attention. "So, did the Commander release the lockdown on Unit-01
yet?"
"Not yet." Ritsuko shook her head. "We still have a lot of scanning to
do first."
Bullshit. Misato sighed to herself. They had been scanning all month.
Every three days saw every KIND of scan administered to the entire Eva
over and over again.
"Ahh. Well, just tell me when Shinji-kun can help out again." She
turned and walked over to the comm.. "It looks like Asuka might need
the help again." She pressed the button. "Hey kids."
All four of them opened their eyes. Toji gave a little smile to the
camera. "How'd we do, Misato-san?"
"Not too bad!" Misato smiled. "We might start scheduling some live
sparing this week. You all look ready for a bit of action."
"Just no dummy plugs, please." Rei smiled softly.
"Don't worry, Rei...so long as you four stay happy and healthy, I doubt
we'd have to use those things ever again." Misato smiled.
"Can I go too, Misato-san?" Shinji asked, eagerly. The major noticed
Asuka look away from the screen slightly. "It would be a nice change
of pace from sitting in the plugs for an hour."
"We'll see, Shinji. Unit-01 might not be as ready as you are, yet."
Misato lied, but smiled genuinely."
"Good. I can't wait to start whoopin your ass, Shinji." Toji chided on
through the video conference windows.
Shinji just grinned. "We'll just have to see about that."
Ritsuko smiled over at the Major. "Are you sure you haven't been
letting him hang out with Kaji-kun?"
Misato groaned and turned back to the comm.. "Well, hit the showers,
kids. I'll meet you all in the debriefing room in twenty minutes. Tea
is my treat."
"Hai!" three voices agreed. Asuka just turned off her comm. quietly.
Ristsuko nodded, now that the room was not being monitored. "You were
right." She shook her head. "Maybe it is PMS..."
Asuka sneezed as the plug began to drain, coughing out a bit of the LCL
that was still in her lungs. "I hate when they talk about me..."
"So, what did you have planned?" Toji called out of the shower as
Shinji started getting dressed.
"Pardon me?" Shinji blinked, doing up the buttons on his white school-
shirt.
"For Red Devil's birthday."
"Y...You've been keeping track?" Shinji smiled. "I didn't know you
cared, Toji-san!"
"I don't." Toji laughed, poking his head out from behind the shower
stall. "But Hikari has been talking about it non-stop for the last
week, so I decided I better at least pay attention."
Shinji laughed quietly. "I suppose that is as good a reason as any."
"So?" Toji continued as he washed up. "I know you MUST be planning
something. You've been staring at her with that...look...ever since
you got back from Unit-01."
"What look?" Shinji asked, already turning bright red.
"That..." he shrugged. "That LOOK! I don't know." He laughed. "I'd
say you look pathetic...but I also see how she looks at you when you're
not looking."
Shinji blinked, turning pale now. "W...she...she looks at me?"
"Hell yeah." Toji nodded. The shower stopped, and he emerged in a
towel, walking over to his locker to get dressed as well. "It's
horrible for Kensuke and I to watch, but I suppose it had to happen
eventually with all the time you've been together."
"Y...y..." Shinji swallowed hard. "...it's that obvious, huh?"
"The only reason you two aren't the talk of the class...well, according
to Hikari, anyway, is because everyone's actually excited about this
project." He chuckled. "Right, spy-master Ikari?"
"Ah..." he added weakly.
"So...I ask again...did you have anything special planned for her
birthday?" Toji said as he shrugged on his own shirt. "If you don't,
Hikari's been holding off on plans herself, wondering if you'd want to
have her all to yourself." He chuckled.
"Well..." Shinji swallowed and smiled weakly. "I was thinking about
cooking all her favourite German and American food. She's always
complaining about Japanese food, so I thought it might be a nice
treat."
"Mmmm...that's a pretty good start, Ikari." Toji smiled at his friend.
"I'm impressed." But then he raised an eyebrow. "What else?"
"Uhhh..." Shinji stammered for a moment. "I guess...uhm..."
"Sure! We'd love to come over for her surprise party." Toji offered
with a smile.
"Would you?" Shinji beamed. "You wouldn't mind?"
"Ahh, I suppose I can tolerate her so long as she's DROOLing over you,
instead of yelling at me." Toji smiled. "And Kensuke will love to come
to say hi to Misato, at least." He nodded. "It will be fun."
"D...drooling?"
"So..." Toji grinned, edging on. "It WILL be her 'sweet sixteen'...a
VERY important birthday for most Eastern cultures...are you going to
give her anything else?"
"W...what do you mean?" Shinji hid his eyes by pretending to focus on
folding his discarded plug-suit.
"Oh, come on, Ikari..." Toji grinned wider. "Don't tell me a big,
manly hero like yourself hasn't thought at least SOME manly thoughts
about his very own damsel in distress..." he coughed. "...even if she
is Satan..." his smile returned. "Am I right?"
Shinji swallowed hard, then glanced up at the clock. "Misato-san is
waiting. We'd better hurry." He dashed out the door without another
word.
Toji just smiled. "Atta' boy."
Misato almost screamed when she saw it.
She had been witness to the Second Impact itself...Evangelions tearing
apart Angels and gutting their remains...and half a dozen instances in
her life that would have made lesser people turn into babbling blobs of
jelly, while she would just shrug them off.
And yet, this event was so unexpected, Misato almost dove for cover the
moment she saw it.
Rei Ayanami was wearing a dress.
The other Children obviously were equally as shocked; sitting around
her with staggered jaws, eyes wide. Rei, for her part, seemed to be
sitting at the end of the table quite normally. Relatively
expressionless except for a mild blush that had crept up along her
cheeks under the attention.
"Good afternoon, Major." She said quietly.
"Uhm..." Misato swallowed hard, rubbing her eyes again to make sure
what she was seeing was real.
Sure enough, Rei Ayanami was dressed in a white, modest, but very
attractive sun-dress that put Asuka's yellow attire to shame. Asuka
was too busy being shocked to be jealous, however.
"MEIN GOTT!" Asuka whispered under her breath. "She...she...she
has...FASHION SENSE??!??!"
Both Shinji and Toji just wondered where they could get their
respective dates a dress that nice...and in the meantime, tried not to
develop nosebleeds.
"I went shopping." Rei explained with a small sigh, realizing they
weren't going to stop anytime soon.
"Ahh...okay." Misato cleared her throat and sat down at the table. "It
looks...very nice, Rei-chan!" she smiled earnestly, trying not to seem
too creeped out.
Asuka shook it off as well. "So? Can we get down to business and then
get something to eat?" she sighed. "I'm starved."
"Sure, sure." The Major replied, looking over the page of notes and
test results. "Shinji...congratulations, you've only lost a two-point
score on your sync-ratio. That's very impressive considering how long
you've been away from the tests!"
Shinji blushed and bowed his head. "Asuka's been helping me meditate."
Asuka shot him a private smile. The young pilot proceeded to blush
more.
Misato ignored the look and smiled over at Toji. "And Toji-kun here is
finally past the Sixty-Five mark. I'm recommending to the commander
that you'll be put on full standby alert from now on. You should be
able to handle the next Angel alone if necessary."
Toji bowed, but looked slightly more stoic. "I would still appreciate
the other Unit's backing me up, Miss Misato." He smiled. "I'm just
tagging along to help."
"Don't worry. It won't come to that." Misato smiled, hoping that
statement would hold true. "As for Rei, you're two points ahead of
Toji. I look forward to the level of skill you show during the next
training mission."
"Hai. Domo." Rei bowed her head quietly.
"And..." she looked down at the sheet briefly, then up at Asuka's
smiling face...one that was obviously expecting great news. "We have
determined an error in the system thanks to Asuka."
Asuka blinked...then her eye twitched. "Pardon me?"
Misato coughed. "Uhm...Asuka-chan...you know that 'time of the
month'?"
Asuka blushed. "W...what about it?"
Toji gagged and fell over. "OH MY GAAAAWD!"
Everyone ignored him. "Well...your sync rate is cut in half..." Misato
smiled weakly.
Asuka almost jumped out of her seat as she slammed her hands on the
table. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S CUT IN HALF!!?!?!?!"
Misato began to sweat. "It's nothing, Asuka! In a few days, I'm sure
you'll be back to normal." She didn't have the heart to say anything
about the steady decline they had recorded.
Asuka grumbled, sitting back down. "Is it above the minimum?"
"Barely." Misato sighed and nodded.
"Good. Then at least I'm not out of the fight because of this..." she
glared down at herself. "...body..."
Toji stopped gurgling on the floor and sat back up. "Are you two done
grossing me OUT?!?"
Misato shot him a nod. "Yes. You're done here, Toji. The briefing is
finished."
"Thank you." He stood, still making 'icky faces' at her and Asuka.
Shinji and Rei both moved out quickly after, not really wanting to
incur more wrath.
Asuka lingered, though, looking down at herself. "This isn't fair, you
know..."
Misato nodded. "I know."
"I don't even want children..." the redhead sighed, walking out of the
room. "Why do I need this?" Misato followed close behind.
The major smiled softly and placed her hand on her shoulder. "It makes
us human, Asuka."
Asuka's eyes lowered, but she seemed to agree. "I guess."
"Come on, we'll stop by the supermarket on the way home." Misato smiled
helpfully. "We'll get you some nice tea. The right kinds can help a
lot, you know." Asuka turned on her heel. Misato almost fell over
while she tried to avoid the collision.
"I don't think some tea is going to fix me." The redhead hissed.
Misato was more than slightly unnerved as the door slammed in her face.
While they were hardly worried about it anymore, a Sync Test usually
meant the Children could skip the rest of the day of school. Today was
no exception, and they were all looking forward to some R&R.
Shinji and Asuka parted from Toji and Rei as they always did. Misato's
apartment was the furthest away from the inner city, so they were
always last on the street, walking home.
Ikari smiled to himself as he looked at the 'fall' sky. There was no
real difference from the Spring, Summer...or even Winter...skies,
except a slight bit more orange in the sunset as it came about an hour
earlier than usual. The wind almost made the atmosphere seem cool and
crisp. Truly, a wonderful time to be walking outdoors. Even if it was
in a crowded city.
"I'm cold..." Asuka whispered to herself, startling Shinji out of his
reflections.
"Asuka-chan?" he blinked, looking over at her to see her arms crossed
around themselves. She wasn't shivering, but seemed almost ready to.
She gasped, almost as if she didn't know she had said anything out
loud. "Uhm...ahh..." she blushed. "Come on, baka...pick up the pace.
It's getting windy."
"Hai." He nodded, following her pace as she zoomed in front.
When they got home, they were both in a cold sweat. "I'm going to get
a bath." She informed him. Almost as an afterthought, she turned with
pleading eyes. "What's for dinner?"
He smiled brightly. "I was thinking of trying out some spaghetti."
Asuka smiled softly. "Sounds good. I'll be out in a bit."
He watched her walk off, then turned to the kitchen to prepare a meal.
His smile had faded, though, and as he began to take out the boiling
pot and noodles, he decided that he had to figure out what was wrong.
Misato sighed as the security guards came into the dimly lit office.
"Nuts...I was almost finished this paperwork..." she thought to
herself.
"Major." One saluted. "Do you know what this is about?"
She took a long breath and nodded. "I assume it would have something
to do with the Sub-Commander's disappearance." She raised an eyebrow.
"How you stooges let that happen, I'll never know."
The man looked slightly embarrassed. Not much...but enough to show
through his professionally honed shell of indifference. "The
perpetrators were actually members of NERV, ma'am. There was no way we
could have anticipated it."
"Mmm. Maybe." She sighed, digging into her pocket to pull out her
access card. "So I assume you think Agent Ryouji is the prime
suspect?"
The agent nodded. "Yes. That's why we've been asked to confine you to
one of the NERV lower levels until this is resolved."
Misato nodded. She had to admit, she might have done the same thing.
"Well, I suppose that's logical considering our past relationship."
Her gun was retrieved slowly and also placed on the desk in front of
her.
"Thank you, Major. I'm sure this will be over soon."
Kaji sighed as he walked into his apartment. It was musty and stale.
He must have forgotten to set the air conditioning unit. Come to think
of it, weeks had passed since his last visit to what he laughingly
called 'home'.
It was quiet as a tomb.
He walked to the fridge and took out a block of soup he had made a
while ago, then shoved it in a bowl, then the microwave to heat it up.
The only other movement was the soft, red glow of a light that kept
flicking on and off.
"Ahh, hell." He sighed, rushing over to the answering machine to check
the messages.
First one. Misato's voice sounded a bit tired. She was probably
bogged down with paperwork again. "Hey, Kaji. I'm stuck doing
paperwork for tonight. You might not be able to take me up on that
dinner idea. Call me tonight and we'll set up a better time. Ja."
With a chuckle, he remembered he would have been late anyway. "Thanks,
Katsuragi. You have impeccable timing."
Second message. Gendo. "Well done."
Kaji shrugged to himself. He was surprised Gendo even bothered to
thank him for retrieving the Sub-Commander. Maybe the Commander had
been drinking, and was feeling generous.
Third message.
Kaji's eyes raised as he listened to it. It would seem a few more of
the favours people owed him would pay off tonight. Unfortunately, he
reasoned by the time he made it to the appointed place, it would
already be time. No time for soup. He sighed. "Another busy day." He
walked over to his coat and picked it up.
Just as he was halfway out the door, though...
Fourth message. Kaoru Miyazaki's voice seemed urgent enough that it
stopped Kaji's focused walk out the door.
"Kaji...are you there? Listen...listen good....we need to talk."
Kaji raised an eyebrow. "About time..." he smiled, but then closed the
door behind himself. "Maybe tomorrow, Sensei." He shrugged off the
sense of deja-vue and ran for his car.
"Supper's on!" Shinji said proudly as Asuka emerged from the hall,
still drying her hair.
She had changed and was wearing a big, fluffy sweater and jeans. She
seemed a bit sleepy...probably from the hour-long, leisurely bath she
had just had, but was smiling at the sight of the food on the table.
"Right on! I'm starving!"
Shinji laughed to himself as Asuka discarded the towel around her head
and started rolling up a nice big chunk of the spaghetti to flop down
on her plate. He sat down opposite to her, watching in amazement, and
trying to figure out how she was using the forks so easily.
Asuka, in turn, just dug in, grabbing the sauce and pouring it on top
of the pasta. Shinji tried his best to echo, having never really
bothered trying the Italian dish for himself.
"Mmm. Good." She huffed, wiping her mouth as she slurped up a few of
the noodles.
Shinji blinked, then smiled nervously. "Really? It seems a
bit...squiggly." he tried a nice big fork-full himself. "Mmmm..."
She smiled, watching him struggle with the utensil, laughing as his
next fork-full ended up in his lap. "Do you need any help with that,
Baka-kun?"
Shinji blushed and hurriedly picked up the noodles from his lap before
it started scalding anything. "I...I can manage."
Asuka raised an eyebrow as, in Shinji's attempts to clean himself off,
his elbow hit the plate and spilled another generous helping of noodles
onto his crotch.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shinji yelled out...the steamed noodles finally
having enough collective heat to seep though through his pants. Asuka
gasped as he ran off to the bathroom. "Gomen! Gomen! I'll be back!"
he yelled, zooming past her.
Pen-Pen waddled out from his fridge, and helped himself to the
spaghetti that had landed in his food dish. "Wuaagh."
Asuka sighed. "You can say that again."
"Wuaagh."
"Smartass."
Time had been flowing erratically for Kaji. He seemed so busy
lately...with the assignment Gendo had dropped in his lap...all the way
up to today. His life seemed to have not one moment for rest.
Not even right now...though he did seem relaxed. It was a nice place,
this part of NERV. Quiet, and quite beautiful in the calm evening
light.
The moments were marked by the steady rhythm of the cooling fan-blades
behind his back. The sandwich he had managed to pick up on the way was
gone now, leaving a wrapper on the floor that had skittered away, off
into the darkness thanks to the air-flow.
For some reason, he found himself thinking about Misato.
The sound of footsteps approached, off in the shadows. He relaxed
slightly as he saw it was his contact.
"Hey." He smiled warmly. "You're late."
His smile dropped when he saw the glint of a gun barrel cut a brief,
tell-tale reflection through the shadows.
And as the sound of a gunshot pierced the silence...the air seemed to
explode with yellow light. Kaji's eyes went wide as he was thrown
back, consciousness stolen.
The last thing he remembered hearing, besides the brief splatter of
blood and flesh, was a foil sandwich bag...off to his side...being
stepped on.
Shinji moaned as he stood up from the bath...now completely drenched in
icy water up to his stomach. "Spaghetti is dangerous." He told himself
with a shiver.
It took him a while to re-compose himself. He discarded his pants to
the laundry bin, and found a fresh pair he had not had time to iron and
put away yet. Soon, though, he was ready, and coaching himself to go
out to laughing eyes and try his hand again at eating some of Asuka's
food.
She would probably think he was such a klutz. At first, he hadn't
minded it...normally ending up falling over her or her over him. But
spilling freshly boiled noodles on your privates? That was pretty damn
bad.
He expected Asuka to be still laughing as he poked his head out from
the hallway.
She wasn't.
His worries were suddenly washed away as he saw her...sitting
there...but not doing anything else. Almost like a doll with it's
strings cut away, frozen in it's last thought.
Her fork was raised in her hand, still having a mouthful of pasta
entwined around it's teeth...but it didn't move. She seemed to be
studying it...if it wasn't for the look on her face.
Asuka's eyes seemed dead. For a brief moment, Shinji panicked. The
only thing that stopped him from rushing over to help her was a long,
shaky sigh that the redhead let escape her lips.
"A...suka..." he whispered to himself.
It took him a long time to figure out what to do. He couldn't just
barge in on her like this...she seemed...so fragile. Yet, his mind
demanded he study this moment. Candid Asuka. He forced himself to try
and figure out why she was doing this.
Finally, though, he could come to no logical conclusion, and only
promised himself to try to find out later.
Shinji made a tactful retreat back into the hall, closing the bathroom
door with more force this time, and sighing loudly so as to alert Asuka
to his return.
He wasn't too sure if it was a good thing...but when he turned the
corner again, she was smiling over at him. "Have fun, Baka?" she
winked. "You didn't singe anything, did you?"
"Not at all." He blushed, then smiled, sitting down...carefully...and
helping himself to a much smaller plate of noodles before looking up at
her. "Asuka?"
"Hai?" she blinked, talking around the mouthful of food she had been
neglecting before.
He blinked, then looked down at the plate. The image of her lifeless
face worried him...but he forced himself to look back up. "H...how's
the spaghetti?"
Asuka smiled brightly. "It's just fine, Shinji. You're such a worry-
wart."
"Hai hai." He nodded, then tried again himself. "Mmm...you're
right...it's not bad."
She winked. "See? I told you that some non-Japanese food would be
good for you."
He nodded and smiled back. "You're right. Thanks, Asuka!"
"No problem." She smiled and sighed. "You're the one that cooked
it...you should thank yourself."
Shinji shook his head. "But I cooked it for you." A blush crept up on
his features again. "I never would have picked up any if you hadn't
suggested it at the market. Arigato, Asuka-chan."
She smiled happily, then returned her attentions to the food.
Shinji sighed to himself. If only he had been a better spy...maybe
like Kaji-san. He always knew how to solve problems like this.
Kaji wasn't really to sure what was going on when he awoke to see the
fan blades above him.
"H...holy shit..." That was what he would have said...if it didn't
come out as a series of coughs.
His hand jetted up to his chest, then neck, then head...finally...to
his groin, searching for blood and bullet-holes. He relaxed as he
realized he was completely intact.
Except...
There was a bit of blood. Not his...but it had splattered across his
shoulder.
The images and senses came flooding back into his mind. T...those...
glasses. Such a cold...cold look. It chilled him, even as he was
thanking kami-san for the ability to feel cold at the moment.
But...what had happened?
The gun went off...
Then...
That feeling washed over him. The way the air had split. The light
that erupted from nowhere, yet seemed as a knife.
Kaji took a scrambling step back as he saw a thin, charred line across
the floor. His finger explored it, then returned bloody. He yelped as
the pain set in. The cut in the metal floor had been perfect, leaving
a razor-edge.
"God in Heaven..." he whispered. "An A.T. Field..."
Thirty-Seventh Lesson: "Dates"
Asuka sat up in bed, completely silent. She could hear the speaker
begin to charge with the tiny bit of electricity it would need to sound
the alarm clock...and reached over Shinji to pull the plug before it
did.
Not yet...she though. She had to think for a moment. Morning would
wait patiently.
She sighed, looking down at the sleeping young Ikari. He seemed so
calm...so calm like he did not have a care in the world. Why would he?
He had his woman in his bed next to him...faithfully by his side.
Whenever she was in trouble, he would come ripping through the Angels
to save her.
She felt sick.
She hated feeling sick.
Even worse...she didn't want to feel like this. She didn't want to
think like this. She knew it was probably just her period coming up,
and her birthday this week, and all the stress over the last month...
No.
Asuka Langley Sohryu did not make excuses. Even if they were true...
She felt sick.
...
Papa!
Why is papa sleeping like that?
Momma?
You aren't my Momma...
Why are you with Papa!
...
There was a shudder as she forced back the memories. Physical effort
seemed to be required as they pushed back...stronger than before...but
she succeeded like always.
Still, she could see Shinji in that same pose... Her father...had been
sleeping like that...the same sleepy smile on his face as a new woman
warmed the sheets next to him.
As she looked herself over, she was startled to find herself
not...herself. Nobody else in particular...just not...her. Her skin
felt gray and cracked, like an old photograph as it bled it's colour to
the day's sun. She felt like a memory...alive...but still a memory
that would be forgotten as soon as her body was no longer there to warm
the covers.
Her hair drooped over her face as she watched Shinji with rapt
curiosity. "What happens when I'm dead, Shinji?"
The sleeping boy just continued on doing so, oblivious to the whisper.
"Will you find someone else to sleep next to you?" she leaned down
almost...predatorily...caging his chest with her hair. "Perhaps Rei?
I'm sure Rei would love to find out what it's like to sleep with
someone...to be pressed against someone all night long..." a small
whimper caught in her throat. "To want to have you...but..."
She sat back up as Shinji breathed in sharply and rolled to her, still
asleep, but now nestled into her lap.
Asuka was a bit startled by this. Not that he was touching anywhere
too sensitive, or in an awkward position...but he seemed so comfortable
with her next to him. Still, Asuka mused it would not take much for
Rei to be sitting here, cradling his head as he slept.
Or Misato. Or maybe any of the half-a-dozen girls she had noticed once
or twice paying too much attention to him.
"Will you be like Papa?" she whispered as he slept. "Finding a new
face if I go? Or maybe Kaji-san?" she let out a long...tired sigh.
"Leaving Misato behind as you find your next conquest..." she leaned
down a bit, whispering into his ear. "It's in your blood, I bet...you
Ikari men are quite the lady-killers..."
A long pause.
"I hate feeling like this..." she said to herself, loud enough to start
her bed companion on the rise to consciousness.
Shinji woke up after a moment, just in time to see Asuka walking off to
get dressed. He smiled sleepily and was about to say a hello when she
closed the door behind herself.
He blinked, then sighed, stretching out on the bed, trying to force
himself to wake up a bit more before he had to stand. "Asuka..."
Maya smiled brightly as she gave the Sub-Commander a brief salute.
"Good morning, Sir!"
Fuyutsuki smiled, his leather features turning into a look of warmth.
"Good morning. How's the scans on Unit-01 progressing?" he asked,
taking a sip from his coffee mug.
"Very well. Ritsuko-sempai and I will be trying a new micro-particle
detection array from the German branch. The specifications on the
sensors are quite amazing. Almost twice as sensitive as the ones we
have!" Maya said.
"That's good. Hopefully we'll be able to release the lock on the Eva
soon." He said. "As much as the thing scares the hell out of me, it
still saves our butt." He smiled.
Maya nodded, then gave him a look. "Sir...if..."
"Go on?" he blinked.
"If you don't mind me asking, there was a rumour you had been..." she
blushed and laughed. "Kidnapped just yesterday."
He raised his eyebrow and smiled. "Really? Who said that?"
Maya blushed and stammered. "Uhm...well..."
He laughed. "It's okay, Ibuki-san. I was just kidding." He finished
off the rest of his coffee and looked around the otherwise empty lunch
room. "Quite frankly, if someone thought I was worth kidnapping, I'd
be quite flattered."
She laughed and bowed. "Yes sir...I suppose I'd feel the same way. I
would have assumed either the Commander or, in my case, Miss Ritsuko
would be more valuable than us."
Fuyutsuki smiled and nodded...then leaned in and winked. "Of
course...that's what we'd have them believe, right, Agent Maya?"
She blushed and smiled brightly. "Hai hai, Dark Leader!"
He chuckled then nodded. "Well, I'm off to the main bridge. See you
there."
Maya watched him walk off, smiling. She always felt so nervous around
the other Bridge Crew, except for the Sub-Commander. He seemed to be
the one with the most common sense; at least compared to the Commander.
After retrieving two cups of coffee...one with double sugar,
black...and one with one cream, one sugar for herself, she started off
to the Eva cages, where Sempai would be working at getting the new
sensor array ready.
She was quite a bit shocked to see Ritsuko slumped over in her chair,
holding her head tiredly as she looked at the screen. She looked
almost like she had been here all night...but Maya had seen her go home
the night before...
"Sempai?"
Ritsuko almost fell out of her seat, literally yelling as her
apprentice spoke up. Maya almost yelled too. "Maya! PLEASE don't
scare me like that!" she gasped, completely white.
"G...Gomen-nasai!" Maya bowed nervously, then rushed over to set the
coffees on the desk in front of them. As she leaned over her boss, she
realized that she was still shaking.
"Sorry..." Ritsuko breathed out, relaxing a bit. "I had a rough
night..." Any further explanation was cut off by the coffee cup being
lifted to her lips.
Maya shivered slightly as she sat down, trying not to look at the older
woman. She looked horrible...and she didn't want to start thinking
about what might have happened last night...
Gendo...
...no....she had to keep focused. Sempai would need her to be calm and
collected until she...recovered.
"Th...did...did the new sensors come in?" Maya asked, forcing herself
to focus.
Ritsuko seemed to smile a bit as she asked...probably just as relieved
to get down to business. "Yeah, the technicians installed them this
morning. We should be ready for our initial zeroing scans right now."
"Sounds great, Sempai!" Maya smiled, swivelling in her chair to start
typing in the commands.
Ritsuko sighed to herself and eased herself back down in her chair,
rubbing her eyes.
Maya noticed finally. "Sempai?"
"Yes?"
"Where are your glasses?" she blinked, regarding her older companion in
a new light. She looked so different without them. The air of
crispness seemed gone...almost melted away. She looked so warm and
friendly. In fact, Maya would even dare say she looked even prettier
than usual...if it wasn't for the dark circles under her eyes and the
ghostly white of her skin.
Ritsuko blinked, then smiled a bit guiltily. "They broke. I'll have
to get a new pair today."
"Ahh." Maya smiled, then returned to her work.
Misato had been a bit nervous all night. She didn't sleep very well,
that was for sure. Being locked up at NERV while something outside was
happening...she didn't even know if the Sub-Commander had been found
yet. Her shift didn't start for another four hours, and she didn't
dare go near the phone.
It could be bad news.
"Kaji...you baka..." she whispered to herself. All at once, all her
worst fears seemed to cloud through her brain. Half of them ending
with his running off with another woman...half of that remaining was
him rotting away in a prison...and the rest involved Last Rites.
"I can't call..." she whispered. "If I do, they'll tell me he's dead
or something..."
The phone rang.
Her heart almost stopped...then sped up. "Oh God..."
It rang again, doing what phones do.
She crawled out of her futon...not really messy anyway, since she
hadn't slept in it much. Her phone rang once more. Three times a
charm, she sighed...then picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Major!" Came a voice much too cheery to fit her mood. "I hope I
didn't wake you..."
She grumbled to herself. "No, Kaoru, you didn't." a long sigh. "What
do you want? I'm a busy woman, you know..."
A long pause, then a sigh on the other end. "Never mind...I'll just
find someone els..."
Misato cringed. "Fine, fine...sorry. What's up?"
Kaoru coughed on the other end. "Uhm...well...I wasn't sure..."
She groaned, then allowed herself a small smile. "Spit it out, man.
I'm sorry for snapping at you about Shinji. I promise I'm not mat at
you."
"Oh..." his voice brightened considerably. "Well, then! I was
wondering if you wanted to come to a convention with me."
"A convention?" Misato blinked, sitting back down on the floor. "What
do you mean?"
"Seems that the principal of the school likes me, and wants me to
prepare a speech for the other teachers of the district. I'm just on a
lunch break right now, so I thought I'd ask."
Misato sighed and smiled. "Well, I am working tonight...what time is
the thing?"
"After ten."
Misato looked at the clock. "I don't know...if I can make it..." she
sighed. "I'm working a bit late..."
"Can you call in sick?" the Sensei asked hopefully. "I'm serious, this
will be a nice chance to get out, and maybe pay you back for all the
weirdness that happened there..."
Misato sighed, trying not to worry about all that Kaji had been saying.
"I don't know...I mean, NERV does owe me a sick day or two...but..."
"Fancy dinner...free bar..."
Misato desperately had to resist the urge to jump at the mention of
free drinks. Old habits die hard, she grumbled to herself.
"We...uhm...I...I dunno...I guess...maybe I can..."
The phone was suddenly yanked from her hand, scaring the living
daylights out of her. She stumbled back to see Kaji, alive, but
covered in dirt and looking like hell...standing over her, holding the
phone.
He smiled into the receiver. "Sorry, Misato is busy tonight," and hung
up the phone.
Misato, normally, would have been yelling at him, but she was too busy
kissing him, holding on for dear life, and not even sure why.
School was rather normal that day. Sensei Miyazaki seemed to be in a
strange mood, and they basically worked on the system of taxes and what
would be spent in their modified Tokyo-3. It was still better than
normal work, so nobody complained, and it was actually a nice way to
spend a class.
Everyone looked up, a bit surprised as the final bell rang. Kaoru
smiled at the class and nodded. "Have a good weekend, children. We'll
finish up the project next week, so if you have any more ideas, be sure
to get them ready for your final presentations on Wednesday."
The class bowed and rushed out, laughing and calling after each other
as they went.
As Rei passed the teacher's desk, though, she stopped. Kaoru looked up
tiredly, shuffling his papers around. "Yes, Miss Ayanami?"
She looked at him for a moment. "You are working on a speech?"
He blinked, then looked down at his papers and laughed. "Yeah, I
suppose I am. I have to give a talk tonight in front of the regional
conference."
Rei smiled brightly...surprising Kaoru a bit. "That sounds nice."
"Well, it was going to be nice." He sighed, forgetting himself a bit.
"But I can't find a date. It seems your Director of Operations is busy
for the night."
Rei nodded, then raised an eyebrow. "May I come?"
Kaoru blinked. "What...to the conference??"
She nodded and smiled. "Hai. If you do not have a date, may I join
you to observe your speech?"
He blushed. "Well...I don't know if students are allowed..."
Rei blinked, then bowed her head. "I understand."
He sighed, watching her leave...but then smiled. "Sure!"
She turned, surprised.
"I'm sure they'd let you in. I mean, what better way to help explain
my way of teaching than to have a student present?"
"It does seem to be a logical idea." Rei smiled softly.
Kaoru nodded and laughed. "Thank you, Miss Ayanami. Once again,
you've offered your company to me when normally I'd be doomed to be
surrounded by four walls...or people who act like walls anyway." He
looked at his watch. "I'll meet you at the Loop-Line station Three.
Say, around nine o'clock?"
"That is acceptable." Rei bowed happily. "Oh...uhm...is it formal?"
He blinked, then nodded. "Yes."
"Good!" Rei grinned. Miyazaki blinked and got slightly worried as Rei
rushed out.
"Oy...that girl is getting spooky." He laughed...then grinned a bit
evilly. "I bet Gendo's just shitting his pants..."
With that, he packed up his things and left.
"The kids will be home soon..." Misato moaned out softly as Kaji rolled
off of her stomach, propping himself up next to her. The futon...and
indeed the entire room...was now thoroughly messed up.
"So?" he smiled, leaning down to give her a tender kiss. "They can
watch..."
"Hentai..." Misato grinned sleepily.
"You weren't complaining..."
"I was a hentai too back then." Misato defended, all the while
grinning.
"What about now?" He blinked.
Misato sighed, thinking of an answer as she ran her hands through his
hair. "I'm a much more...refined...hentai."
Kaji chuckled, and let out a long, content sigh as he descended back
between her breasts, resting there for a moment. "Did I ever tell you
about the melons I'm growing??"
Misato laughed softly, letting his head lift up and down with her
chest. When she noticed him not laughing, though, she was a bit
surprised. "You...you're not kidding?" she smiled. "Kaji the
gardener?? Oh my...is there anything you DON'T do?"
He looked up at her, smiling. "I don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
That's for sure."
"What do you mean?" Misato blinked, a little surprised at the tone of
his voice.
"I was dead." He whispered.
Misato's eyes widened. "W...what do you mean?"
He shook his head, and with a long sigh, he sat up in the blankets next
to her. "Something saved my life last night..." he looked down at her
and smiled sadly. "I'm living on borrowed time right now."
Misato sat up and hugged him tightly. "You are NOT dead. You are here
and very much alive."
He sighed, feeling the cares and worries of the world melting away.
"Maybe you're right..."
"I know I'm right." She pouted...then, wanting to change the subject,
smiled against his ear. "Now...why don't we get dressed. You can tell
me about these melons you're growing."
Kaji blinked, then smiled. "How about if I show you?"
"That sounds like a date." She nodded, giving him a long kiss that
slowly pushed them back down under the covers.
"What about the Children?" Kaji whispered as Misato crawled up on top
of him again.
"Maybe they'll be late coming home." She murmured into his chest.
"What about the melons?" Kaji offered.
"Mmm..." Misato took his hands and placed them on a rough equivalent of
'melons'. "These will do for now..."
Shinji followed behind Asuka, watching her walk. Normally he
didn't...but he didn't have much choice in the matter tonight. She was
just strutting home, on a mission to just get there. She wasn't even
talking to him. Normally she'd at least tell him if something was
bothering her...quite loudly too.
But she was so distant.
So, Shinji took a chance, did some mental calculations in his head, and
began searching for what he needed.
Ahh...yes...the first tool of any secret agent. (or so he assumed)
"Asuka...come with me." He stated loudly.
She stopped then spun on her heel. "What??" then frowned. "What are
you talking abo...HEY!"
Shinji grabbed her by the wrist and began to pull her across the street
when it was safe to do so. She was too surprised to stop him, and
ended up following without his lead.
"What's going on, Baka?" she demanded as they ran into a small mini-
mall.
"This is important." He said, huffing and puffing. "Follow me!"
She sighed and followed quickly. Her anger was slowly moving to
curiosity. "Fine, just hurry up."
He skidded to a stop. She did as well, almost running into him. He
looked at her and pointed into the shop. A very surprised Coffee-Shop
owner was behind the counter.
Asuka blinked, then sighed, walking inside. Shinji smiled and walked
in after her, going to the counter. "Uhm, two hot-chocolates, please."
The man smiled and began to fix up their drinks as Shinji sat down at
one of the secluded tables. Asuka was already there, staring out the
window. "What are we doing here?" she grumbled.
"We're going to have a cup of hot chocolate together." Shinji said
sternly, trying to seem as confident as he could.
She raised an eyebrow at him and sighed. "Why?"
"Because we have not done that yet, and I thought it was about time we
did." Shinji shrugged.
Asuka blinked. She tried to recall a time they shared hot-chocolate
together, but realized he was right. It seemed too ordinary to worry
about, though. "Uhm..." she blinked again. "Why??"
He smiled as the two cups were set before them, and handed the man the
last of his pocket change, glad he had guessed the price of the drinks
fairly accurately. "Arigato."
Alone again, Asuka waited for him to answer her question.
He didn't. Shinji just sipped his chocolate.
Asuka sighed, then dipped her finger into her own mug, having a taste
as she glared at him, still waiting. "Well?"
"Well what?" He blinked.
"Why did you think it was about time we did this?" she sighed, a bit
angry at his evasiveness.
He just smiled. "Why not?"
Asuka crossed her arms in protest...but Shinji just kept sipping his
drink.
After a while, she sighed, gave in and figured she may as well take
advantage of a free cup of coco. Shinji smiled warmly as she had a few
sips.
"Gomen...just it seemed like you needed...this." He shrugged, looking
around.
Asuka sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Well...I don't." she looked
into her mug.
He sighed and nodded, lowering his head slightly.
Asuka looked up from her mug. "But thanks, anyway..."
Shinji smiled. "You're welcome."
Maya smiled as she returned with a third cup of coffee for them both.
Sempai was looking much better now, though she still looked a bit white
in the skin. Maybe it was cold in here...she couldn't tell right now.
"Here you go, Sempai!" she smiled, glad that Ritsuko didn't jump this
time. She had been a bit worried about it before, but once they had
started working, everything seemed back to normal.
"Arigato, Maya." The blond smiled a thanks, and picked up the cup
casually in her right hand.
Maya blinked, surprised once more that day, when Ritsuko let out a
sharp curse, and quickly picked up the mug with her left hand instead.
"Sempai??"
She blinked, as if just realizing what she did. "Oh, sorry, Maya." She
laughed. "Just hurt my arm a bit last night."
Maya blushed despite herself. "H...how did you do that??"
Ritsuko shook her head. "Oh, I dunno...probably knocked it into a wall
when I was getting ready for bed, or maybe I just slept on it weird.
It's no big deal."
"Are you sure, Sempai?" Maya asked, rushing over to her side to see if
she could tell what was wrong. "You shouldn't be typing if your hand
is sore..." she said with genuine concern.
Ritsuko smiled nervously...a lump suddenly caught in her throat. "It's
nothing, Maya. I just ignore it and it doesn't hurt."
The lump in her throat might have not caught anyone else's attention,
but Maya heard it loud and clear. Still, her sense of duty told her
not to question her Sempai...her friend...her...whatever else. Ritsuko
would know what to do. She always knew what was best. Maya shouldn't
worry...she can take care of herself...
She smiled slightly, then nodded. "Hai..." and placed a gentle hand on
her friend's shoulder. "I'll just..."
Ritsuko cried out in pain, causing Maya to almost jump backwards. Her
hand did, leaving Ritsuko's shoulder as fast as it came. "Ahh! Shit!"
she gritted her teeth, trying desperately not to show the pain, but
failing miserably.
Maya just shook, completely frightened. At first, she hadn't seen
anything...but now...very slowly...a red spot was expanding out on
Ritsuko's white lab-coat. "SEMPAI!! You're bleeding!"
All of a sudden, Ritsuko broke. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled. The
force of her words literally threw Maya back.
The poor young woman just shook, fallen on the floor as she watched the
blond scientist curl up in her chair, holding her shoulder in obvious
pain. Her entire body was shaking...not out of pain, however, rather
of her silent sobs.
"I know..." Ritsuko shivered. "I know I'm bleeding...I'm sorry...I
didn't mean to yell at you...I just..."
Maya could barely breathe as Ritsuko broke down further, crying openly.
Something she had never imagined she would ever see...nor ever hoped
she would. She started for the door, scared out of her wits...
But before she could leave, her hand stopped. She saw herself pressing
the door panel, closing the automatic metal shield. A few technicians
looked up, unconcerned at the action, then returned to their duties
around the Eva Cage.
Maya walked back to Ritsuko slowly, kneeling besides her. "Sempai...
it's okay...I...I'm here for you..." Her soft, shaking voice was still
so much more confident sounding than Ritsuko's hitching sobs.
And it seemed to help.
Ritsuko cried for another few minutes, but eventually she began to
slow. The chairs were discarded after a moment later, and Maya found
herself holding Ritsuko in a warm embrace, trying to comfort the
shivering Doctor.
"I..." Ritsuko sobbed against Maya's shoulder. "I didn't want you to
see this..." she shook her head. "I'm sorry..."
"I don't mind." Maya replied, doing her best to sound strong. "Nobody
else will see...I shut the door...just let it out."
Ritsuko's body shook a few more times, but she seemed to be comforted a
bit. "I hate feeling like this..." she whispered into her friend's
shoulder. "I hate knowing what I know...doing what I do..." she buried
her face in Maya's cloth shoulder, ignoring how soaked it was already.
"You don't deserve this..."
Maya was a bit shocked to hear that. The words were different, but the
meaning was clear to her...at least in her mind. She was a bit worried
when Ritsuko lifted her head and slowly crawled back up to her chair,
turning away from her as if in shame.
"You don't deserve to be around a horrible person like me." Ritsuko
whispered, hunched over like a rag doll in her chair. The bleeding on
her shoulder had stopped, but she still looked to be in pain. "You're
too good for this, Maya..."
Maya just sat there, ignoring the tears that were coming to her face.
"If you were smart..." Ritsuko hissed suddenly. "You'd leave this
place...leave it before Eva gets her hands into you and tears you
apart..."
"Sempai..."
"Or before HE gets his hands on you...and squeezes you for every last
drop you're worth before tossing you away as garbage..."
"Sempai..."
"I'm horrible..." Ritsuko whispered, staring blankly into the
wall...then smiled a strange, cold smile. "...and yet, I can't even do
that right...I can't even please him..."
"Sempai...please don't do this..." Maya whispered, barely above a
breath.
Ritsuko closed her eyes and let her head rest on the cold computer
terminal. "Your Sempai is a horrible, horrible woman. She is weak,
and cold...she is too heartless to love anything anymore. Most of all,
she is nothing more than a tool now..."
The feeling of something wet against her back startled her.
Ritsuko slowly turned around...now feeling the arms around her body,
and the strange warmth that was washing through her senses. Maya clung
to her back, sobbing quietly.
"Sempai...you are not horrible..." she whispered, shaking. "Whatever
you've done, you make up for in your brilliance...your passion..."
Ritsuko just sat there, completely stunned as the younger woman poured
out her heart.
"A tool could never earn respect..." Maya cried. "Like you have mine!
Someone horrible could never do so many good things! Help create Eva
and the Magi...and so much more!"
"M...aya...?"
Maya never stopped. "Someone heartless...could never be loved...
like...I..." she buried her face in Ritsuko's coat.
The next part was too muffled to hear. Ritsuko felt it, though.
Kaji lead them as they walked through the Geofront's forest. Misato
followed, still with a content smile on her face. Kaji mused he would
probably have one on his lips as well, if he hadn't been so confused by
the last twenty four hours.
"Tell me, Katsuragi..." he mused out loud. "Do you believe in
reincarnation? Or maybe that...I don't know...like we've lived this
life before?"
"God...I hope not..." she sighed, following him up along the lake-side.
"This one is too fucked up."
"Agreed." He smiled, but then took on a more serious tone. "But...what
if it was?"
"So what if it was?" Misato shrugged. "We would never know. I doubt
we'd care, either."
"Are you so sure?" Kaji said, looking back at her briefly. "With all
we've seen and heard of...even you must know that there's really no
such thing as impossible anymore." He turned back and kept walking.
"You saw Hell on Earth...the incarnate of Adam. You can't say you
don't entertain possibilities that this world isn't as simple as it
seems."
Misato frowned slightly. "So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we've been here before, Misato." But then, he smiled.
"Well, not here..."
They finally reached a patch of undisturbed earth, a small haven in the
expanse of the Geofront that seemed so pristine and pure...despite the
fact it had been put there by mankind. Misato recognized the area, but
she hadn't been here herself...it was too much out of the way to allow
frequent visits. It seemed perfect for Kaji, though.
"I've been having the worst case of Deja-Vue I've ever had all this
week." He said, walking over to a small bush and parting it with his
hands as he knelt down.
Misato followed him, kneeling also, and letting her hands drape across
his back. "You too?"
"But..." he smiled over to her. "This morning...when I woke up in that
dark room, still alive, that feeling was gone. Like I was starting
something new." He sighs. "It disturbs me that...perhaps in some other
set of events, I should be dead."
Misato hugged him tightly. "Don't say that."
"But...I didn't tell you what saved me." Kaji said, leaning over and
patting a ripe, full watermelon on it's blotchy green skin.
Misato smiled a bit jokingly. "...God came down and stopped the
bullets?" she chuckled, reciting a line from an old 1990's movie.
He groaned. "No." he smiled. "But I do think there was an angel
watching over me."
Misato frowned...then blinked. Kaji just nodded.
She shivered slightly and leaned into him as they sat down next to his
melons. "What's going on here?"
"I can't be sure." Kaji shook his head. "And maybe that's a good
thing." He paused, then quietly dug something out of his pocket,
placing it in Misato's hand.
"What's this?" she asked, looking at a small microchip that was encased
in an anti-static film.
"Nobody thinks I'm still alive." He whispered. "Not for another few
hours...maybe days if I'm lucky. I'm not supposed to be able to give
this to you. Nobody will be watching you right now. It is right now
that I CAN give this to you without worrying that it will be taken
away."
Misato sighed, then smiled. "Well? What is it?"
"Project E." he said softly. "Start to finish. The Angels, the Evas,
even the Children. You'll find the real versions in there...as best as
I've found."
Misato gasped, quickly putting the chip in her coat. She had a small
pocket on the interior with a zipper, and sealed it in there.
"Everything?"
He nodded. "It's pass-worded, though."
She blinked. "What is it?"
"Something I should have said to you...long ago." He said, staring off
into space for a moment as Misato watched him. Kaji finally took a
deep breath and turned to her. "I love you."
As the artificial sun set in the Geofront, the twilight gave way to a
new beginning for a pair of old lovers. It closed a tiring day for two
younger ones, and found comfort in two very old friends.
Thirty-Eighth Lesson: "Conferences"
Once again, it started with Beethoven.
Kaoru blinked as he heard the humming, turning to Rei, who was seated
to his left in the passenger seat of the rent-a-car. "Rei?"
She blinked, looking up at him. "Hai?"
"You were humming." The teacher blinked.
"Hai." She smiled softly.
Sensei Kaoru just smiled and nodded, returning his attentions to the
parking lot. "I wanted to thank you again for coming, Rei. I
shouldn't have asked, but I knew you of all people would be able to
appreciate what I'm doing here."
Rei just nodded. "Thank you, Sensei. I'm glad I could come along."
He smiled as he found a parking space, just as Rei was finishing up the
last few bars from somewhere in the middle of the 5th Symphony. "I
didn't know you liked Beethoven, Rei?"
"I didn't." she said. "But I have been interested in hearing more."
"Good to hear." Kaoru said as he backed the car up into an empty stall.
"Though, you should also expand your exposure. I could probably dig up
some of my old Bach compact disks for you if you were interested."
"I...I do not have a CD player." Rei blushed, curling her hands up in
her blouse (yet another example of her shopping abilities).
Kaoru blinked, then nodded. "I'm sure we could get you one to borrow
from the school media library, Rei-chan!"
"Really?" Rei beamed, then blushed. "I mean...that would be too much
to ask of..."
"Not at all!" Kaoru chuckled. "Just promise me you'll write the next
test and pass."
Rei nodded firmly as the engine cut off, and they stepped out of the
car. "I will do my best, Sensei!"
They arrived a bit late, due to Kaoru's unfamiliar navigation skills.
Tokyo-3 could be a very strange place to move around outside of mass-
transit. How Misato could drive so confidently and fast in this maze
was a mystery to nearly everyone.
Both of them sneaked into the giant Omoi Conference Room while the
crowd was clapping from the previous speech. Rei was amazed there were
so many teachers in all of Japan, let alone just the Tokyo area. While
most would be researchers and specialists, she did see a few other
teachers from their school. Most were seated around the same table,
and indeed, Kaoru lead them over to that area, arriving just as the
applause died out and the speaker returned to the front, going on and
on about the budget for a good long while, and giving the Sensei and
his student time to find their seats.
"The system works." Kaoru winked at Rei, who just smiled back.
The room let out a small, collective sigh as the lights dimmed, and a
projection of student facts and figures came up on the presentation
board.
"I think we arrived too early, Sensei." Rei mentioned quietly.
"Me too." He sighed, then smiled. "I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." Rei smiled earnestly.
The two men three tables across from them slowly put away their
newspapers and walked for the door. One pulled out a comm. unit just
before the door closed.
"Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah-dah!"
Shinji and Asuka looked over to the radio with a blink.
"Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah! Just take those old records off the
shelf! I'll sit and listen to them byyyy myself..."
She grumbled and turned the radio off. Shinji blinked. "Hey! That
was a good song!"
"It was not." She pouted, returning her attention quickly to the papers
laid out in front of her...scribbling quickly.
Shinji sighed and nodded. "Okay. We won't listen to the radio." He
said, also returning his attention to his own homework. Of course, it
was the same project...designing a better NERV...but they had each
chosen separate aspects to focus on.
He groaned as he looked over his assignment. How Sensei could come up
with this stuff was a mystery to him. It was deceptively
easy...grabbing your attention, then holding you there when you
realized you'd have to work for any reasonable results. Right now, he
was knee deep in figuring out who the Secret Service branch would
answer to. Over and over, he kept on thinking 'Commander Ikari'. The
more he thought about it, the more he knew it to be true. So many
secrets and so many dangers...only the Commander would be able to
control it all.
Shinji hated it. He was beginning to see the true genius of his
father. Even if he was a cold-hearted asshole...
But still...Shinji knew he could do it better. Find a way. Make the
secrets not so secret...yet still protected. Let people choose their
own lives, instead of being just a part in a plan.
There was so much he didn't yet understand...yet he could see it all
now. How they all fit together...the City, NERV, the Sub-Commander and
staff...even Shinji and the other...
"Okay, FINE!" Asuka said loudly, reaching back over to the radio. All
at once, the music came back, a little louder this time. "There." She
grumbled, back to her homework.
Shinji blinked.
"...music just sooooths tha' soul! I'm reminiscing 'bout the daaaays
of ollld! Just like that old time o Rock N Roll!"
He blinked again, then reached over and turned down the volume.
"Asuka...it's okay, if you didn't want to listen to it then you can
just shut if off."
Asuka looked up at him with a tired, strange look. "Fine...fine..."
And the music was off a moment later.
Shinji found his thoughts were no longer focused on NERV.
"Asuka...what's wrong?" Shinji asked quietly in the new-found silence.
The snap of a pencil's tip was her only answer. The redhead silently
reached over to her book bag and pulled out a sharpener. "Nothing."
She whispered; and with that began to grind the dull pencil back to a
usable shape.
He sighed, conceding once more. She looked so down...so fragile, even
now as she pretended to be so strong, he could see the cracks in her
concentration...the false frown and the nervousness. He didn't want to
risk a confrontation. Not now, anyway. Maybe later...maybe after she
was feeling better.
Still, when he looked down, he saw his hand flexing in anger. A rumble
passed through him. He needed to do something...
So, he wondered...what was it that would make him this mad?
As if by magic, the phone rang.
Shinji looked over to Asuka. Asuka looked over to Shinji tiredly. He
gave out a small sigh as the third ring hit and walked over to the
phone. "Hello?"
A female voice he had never heard before replied, talking in obviously
strained Japanese. "Hello! Asuka Langley Sohryu please."
He blinked then turned to Asuka. "It's for you."
Asuka blinked. "Is it Hikari?" she asked walking over and taking the
phone from him. "Hello?"
He blinked as Asuka suddenly giggled. "Guter Nachmittag!!" Her voice
instantly transformed from the Japanese Shinji had been so accustomed
to...now sounding like an alien tongue.
It was amazing, he mused. She sounded so different...yet...he couldn't
help but smile. She still sounded like his Asuka...Still strong and
vibrant...full of life. It was wonderful to see...and a strange
contrast from just moments ago.
Shinji watched from the table, wishing he could understand her better.
Such a hard thing to achieve...understanding. But, once in a while,
even as she was speaking in German, he could pick out phrases and words
that sounded familiar. He knew that her family was doing well, at
least. She mentioned his name once or twice, making him wonder if it
was good or bad news. He smiled when she laughed, and hung on the
occasional pause caused by her mother talking on the other end.
It had to have been her mom...she seemed so happy! And the woman did
seem to be an older sounding person. Who else would be calling from
Germany?
Finally, though, Asuka was done. "Abschied!" she said politely, then
simply let the phone drop down on the hook.
Shinji smiled as she turned around to face him. "Wow! You were
certainly on the phone long. Who was that?"
"My mom." Asuka said quietly as she walked past him and sat back down
in the seat.
"Your mom?" Shinji followed. "That's great! You never told me much
about your family. What is she like?"
"She's not my real mom." Asuka said, looking up at him though droopy
red hair. "That was just a routine communication from the German NERV
branch. My stepmother calls once in a while to see how the project is
progressing."
Shinji blinked. "Your stepmother?" he paused, wondering what to say
next. "Well, uhm...what about your dad?"
"Probably busy in the lab." Asuka said. Her pencil was back on paper,
scribbling her badly formed kanji.
He nodded to himself. "Okay..."
So.
That was it, was it?
Not if he could help it.
"Uhm..." Shinji paused, trying to think of something to say. "Hey!
Did I ever tell you about how my mom went to Germany once? I bet she
met your family!"
"No you didn't." Asuka mumbled absently as she wrote.
Shinji sighed and slumped slightly. "Uhm...well, she did."
"Wonderful."
"Yeah...I guess." He said, walking back over to the table. "You
seem..." Shinji strained for words, still trying to think of
something...anything to connect with her.
He pondered the problem, looking across from her with his hands crossed
against his chin. His dad would know what to do in a situation like
this...why couldn't Shinji figure it out too? What would Gendo Ikari
do?
Shinji jumped as he imagined his father in the exact same position,
pondering what secrets to divulge and what ones to keep. Asuka noticed
his sudden distress and blinked. "You okay there, Shinji?" she smiled
softly. "Did the chair bite you?"
He smiled. "I'm fine." He sighed, turning back to his homework as
Asuka did. His thoughts were far from work, though. Father would be
doing exactly that...right now...he would just sit here and plot and
make people dance around him. He would sit behind his desk and bask in
the cold, red sunset as it lit up the room.
Shinji looked up to Asuka. She looked so distant...tense...
And that's when he came up with his idea. He would do the last thing
on earth his Father would do.
Asuka wasn't really paying any attention to him as he stood and walked
away from the table, so she was fairly surprised to say the least when
two hands fell to her shoulders. It was only by a miracle she didn't
jump right out of her seat, or spun around for a punch; maybe due to
her mental state at the moment, and her desire to curl up into a ball
and hide for a month.
But, whatever the hands were, they began to give her a backrub.
Asuka dropped the pencil after a moment, still hunched over at her
books...but now, the expression on her face was not one of solitude and
turmoil. Shinji was a bit scared he was doing something wrong...up
until the point where Asuka let out a long, shuddering sigh and
literally melted back against his hands. His heart threatened to jump
right out of his chest, but he did not stop. Not that he really wanted
to anyway. It was a strange situation, his mind thought...she would
probably be just as mad if he stopped now. May as well keep going.
Any last worries in his mind were thwarted when the feeling of smooth,
warm skin beneath his touch registered. It was about then he realized
how long it must have been since they had any actual contact with each
other...not just laying next to each other in a bed.
Asuka hummed softly as Shinji continued. The tension dripping away
from her features with every passing second. "Not bad, Third Child..."
she whispered finally...her voice a complete escape from her previous
tones.
All at once, Shinji recognized that Asuka... The one he fell in love
with. "Really? It's my first time..." he replied quietly...to his
credit, now not nearly as nervous.
She smiled to herself. "Well, you learn quick." She sighed and tilted
her head forward a bit as Shinji massaged her neck with his thumbs.
"Mmmm..."
It was such a simple thing, Shinji reasoned, watching the whole thing
almost as if outside of his body. His Father would never connect to
anyone. He would never love or touch...never talk to or converse in
the way normal people did. Shinji would have felt almost sorry for the
man...if he didn't see so many similarities between himself and his
father.
"That changes now..." he thought to himself as he brushed Asuka's
wonderful, thick, silky hair off over her shoulders so he could have
access. "I'm not going to turn into him."
At least not while he could make Asuka happy by changing. Protecting
her was one thing...loving her was something completely different.
Even Gendo could protect...as Shinji assumed he must have had some
desire to fight the Angels and humanity's destruction. But to love?
That was much deeper...the reason to protect verses blind fury against
something dangerous. What use was it all? What use were the Evas?
Sure, they could destroy humanity's foes...but unless humanity did
something good and loved one another, it was all pointless.
He had to start believing. Believing that this was all FOR something.
That it all meant something.
Even if that reason was just a moment like this...rewarded only by the
gentle humming of his companion.
Shinji wondered if his father ever knew moments like this with his mom.
The most cynical part of his mind doubted it. But the one who still
had a bit of faith...he could almost see it.
Maybe in a small apartment Shinji would never know of...a late evening
with Yui's university texts around her, and a bored Gendo who saw his
future wife was feeling a bit under the weather. Surprising her, he'd
put his hands on her shoulders...she'd jump, but smile, turning back to
him and saying she was fine...that she didn't need anything.
Gendo, stubborn man that he was, would hear nothing and simply begin to
rub a slow pattern into Yui's skin. Yui might complain once or twice
more...saying she had work to do...that it was important...but
ultimately, in true Gendo fashion, he would win her over to the moment.
And then Yui might start kissing one of the hands helping to relieve
her stress...
Oh...
Wait...
That was Asuka. Shinji blinked as he returned to the present and saw a
very content looking Asuka turned slightly in her chair now, having his
left hand captured with a kiss against her neck as he rubbed her skin.
Her eyes were half-open...looking very...very...something...
"Mmmm...Shinji-kun..." she whispered against his hand.
"Shhh..." he smiled. "Just relax..." An inner voice asked him where
the hell he learned to talk like that.
Asuka nodded and sighed, relaxing back against him again. "Thank
you...I needed this..."
"Is there anything else you need?" Shinji asked.
"Maybe..." Asuka hummed.
Shinji decided not to push his luck and settled to the backrub, now
massaging a bit deeper.
"I would like you all to give a warm greeting to our next guest
speaker, as this will be his first time up in front of the Japan Third
District school board." The speaker smiled happily. "Miyazaki Kaoru-
san!"
The air lit up a bit as Kaoru walked up to the podium, bowing
respectively to the head Sensei of the room. A light round of applause
from the crowd was just enough to remind him he would have to impress
them all with his speech, or they would probably all be asleep by the
end of it.
O-Sensei relinquished the mic and helped Kaoru adjust it to his
slightly taller stature, then bowed and walked off. "Good luck."
"Thanks." He sighed, looking at the hundred or so people who were
waiting for him to begin. A smiling Rei in the middle, however,
quickly grounded his thoughts and reminded him why he was there.
"Well, first of all..." he coughed. "I don't really have a thank you
list for the people here today. I'm sure you're all sick of hearing
five minutes of other people's names before the actual talking begins
anyway, so I'll just get to the point." He smiled back at Rei.
"Though, I do have one special thanks...just a quick one...to go out to
my students."
The other teachers clapped earnestly, if not enthusiastically. Few of
the people here knew anything about the current speaker, but most had
enough pride as teachers that they appreciated what he was saying.
"In the short few months I have been here," Kaoru continued, looking at
the paper he had with him, yet memorized all anyway "the city of Tokyo
3 has been ripped apart, trampled on, and blown up in various ways,
magnitudes and by both sides of this war." He looked up at the
surprised faces. "One can only imagine what our children feel like in
the middle of all this."
A few nods echoed across the crowd.
"Well, I know exactly what they feel like." Kaoru said, looking out
over the tops of his glasses. "They felt as we did...our
generation...when the Second Impact hit us. They know the
confusion...if not on a global scale, at least in this home land of
ours. They know the desperation when the raid-sirens start up and the
announcements to evacuate from math class to bomb shelter are given.
"As teachers...and yes...all of us...we have been guilty of providing
our students with a false hope." He said...his voice a bit smaller.
"We believe that hope is needed, no matter what. We believe that for
them to survive...even perhaps to the end of this year...that they will
need to feel they are living normal lives."
Mixed reaction this time...a few frowns, but an equal number of nods,
even at the accusations.
"And hope is good." Kaoru smiled out over the crowd. "It's what made
us, as a species, survive and prosper as far as we have. Hope for
something better...hope for the future." He looked down at his notes.
"But just what kind of future are we hoping for?
"A future where humanity is ruled by the companies and agencies who
make weapons? Or perhaps a shadow of our former society as we just
barely escape the Angels with our lives?" he shook his head. "Well,
right now, I am here to tell you that there will be no future. No
future with just hope alone." He looked down to Rei.
"Unless these Children learn WHY..." he said simply. "Why it's so
important to have hope."
The lights had been dimmed now...most of the ambiance being provided by
the quarter-moon outside. The tiny apartment seemed cold in the blue,
deep light...yet there was a warmth in the air that made it so
familiar.
The stark, cold and messy kitchen table had long since been abandoned
for the comfort of the chair and floor. Asuka lay prone up against the
chair, laying back between Shinji's legs as he hunched over her
lightly, hands down the back of her shirt, working their way up and
down in little patterns at random...but all having the same effect.
Asuka was completely, utterly, toasted. The wonderful feeling you get
from someone close to you doing something so nice, or pleasurable, that
your brain begins to shut down...worry by worry, pain by pain...until
all you can do is enjoy the sensations. Every kneed into her back and
shoulders moved her like a doll...not that she minded one bit. Every
bit of resistance and stiffness in her body had melted away. Shinji
probably could have begun to make her dance and she wouldn't have
minded so long as he didn't drop her.
He blinked as she laughed softly at the thought. "Asuka?"
"Nothing..." she cooed. "I'm just enjoying this a bit too much, I
think..."
Shinji blushed, but smiled. "Good."
She sounded almost sleepy the next time she talked. "Shinji...can I
ask you something?"
"Of course, Asuka-chan." He nodded against the top of her head, daring
a happy, small sigh to breathe in the smell of her shampoo. "Ask
anything you want."
"You...you won't leave me, will you?" she asked quietly. While her
voice seemed so relaxed and intoxicated, a small bit of worry did eek
though via her question.
Shinji paused his backrub for a moment, thinking of the best
answer...not wanting to say anything wrong. He resumed with a light
smile. "I won't leave you." He whispered into her ear. "I promise."
She hummed and nodded her approval. "Good..." A twitch inside her mind
registered something different now...his hands coming back up to her
shoulders and neck.
Something didn't feel right...
Wondering what it was, Asuka refocused her foggy thoughts and turned
around.
FLASH!
Two eyes...wild and bright in the darkness...glared at her with such
intensity that she gasped out loud. Wild hair left a strange shadow
against the roof.
"M...mama?"
She struggled to back away, but those hands were still around her
neck...holding her with inhuman force. The eyes never moved, though
the woman was alive...breathing in calm, slow heaves.
"Mama! Let me go!" Asuka begged.
"Asuka...don't let that other girl see you fight me..." the voice came
out, clear and haunting. "she might think you're not a good daughter!"
The grip around her neck began to tighten. Asuka tried to cry out, but
air was not coming to her lungs.
"Papa is gone..." the voice continued. "He left us..."
"I don't care!" Asuka squeaked out. "I can live on my own!"
"No, Asuka...please don't say such silly things." Her mother continued.
In the shadows, she could just make out a small smile. "We'll be
together, always...you promised me."
"NO!"
"Now, come with me..."
"NOOO!"
"Die with me, Asuka..."
"NOOOOOO!!" she yelled, trying to rip free with all her strength, but
her limbs felt like fluff...like fabric. "I'M NOT YOUR DOLL!"
"Die with me!!!"
FLASH!
Shinji was about to let go, scared he hurt Asuka due to her sudden
screaming...but it happened all so fast.
Whatever limb hit him hit hard. Then, it hit again, and was assisted
by another limb...probably a foot this time... to the side of his head.
"NOOO!" Asuka screamed, completely hysterical. Blind with terror, she
dropped Shinji quickly, who was half-way unconscious as it was, then
scrambled off to her room, almost breaking down the door.
The slam was enough to remind Shinji to breathe, and he did so with
great pain. "ASUKA!" he yelled out after, trying to follow with equal
speed, but failing when his body refused to cooperate.
When he finally did get to his feet the only feeling running through
his head was pure terror at was just happened. The door was not
locked, but even then he just barely refrained from breaking it down as
well. Shinji was expecting to find Asuka in some horrible
position...maybe ready to jump out the window...or with a sharp object
against her tender skin...
But she was curled up in a ball, crying. She hadn't even made it to
the bed before she collapsed both mentally and physically. Shinji
stood there, completely shocked for the longest time. Asuka didn't
even look up at him. She just shook. Too frightened to cry.
Finally, the heat of his own tears knocked him back into reality and he
ran for the telephone, desperately searching his memory for Misato's
cell phone number.
It picked up after an agonizing long four rings.
"Mooshimo..."
"MISATO! HELP!!!"
"Well, that went better than expected." Kaoru smiled over at Rei as
they drove back into the city.
Rei blushed. "Sensei, you created an all out argument between the
room. I have never seen so many teachers yelling."
"Mmmm...I knew I should have left in the jokes." He grinned, then
slumped in his seat. "Though I really wish they didn't bring you into
the equation, Rei. That was unfair of them."
"It is...alright." she said, though was pink by this time. "It is not
your fault. I should have dressed in my school attire so as not to be
confused as your date."
Kaoru groaned and sighed.
Rei looked at him, returning to a more pale, regular colour. "Thank
you for inviting me."
He blinked, not really expecting her to say that in his frame of mind.
"Miss Ayanami?"
She nodded and smiled. "I enjoyed your speech."
"Oh?" he smiled. "Then I suppose this evening wasn't a complete waste
of time."
She nodded. "It was nice to hear that your focus hasn't changed."
"Pardon?" Kaoru blinked.
"Before...when I came over to your home and ate soup." Rei explained.
"You said that the reason you teach is because your students need to
learn very important things very quickly, or they might not be able to
have good lives."
He nodded sadly. "Ahh, okay, I remember."
"Today, you expounded upon that idea." Rei said. "I did not understand
it all until now. That you know we will be hurt, and want us to be
able to overcome it...not just survive."
Kaoru blinked, then smiled it off. "Well, nothing so pessimistic,
Rei...but yes, I suppose that would be the reason I teach."
"Why do you think we will survive?" Rei asked, turning to him once
again.
Miyazaki thought for a moment. Finally, though, he turned to Rei as
they stopped at a red light. "Because humans will survive. Life will
always find a way to survive. Like Eva." He smiled at Rei's reaction.
"You know that no matter what happens, Eva will survive. But, you can
say the same about humans. Humans built Eva so they could survive, did
they not?"
Rei nodded.
"But, surviving is not enough, Rei...what if Eva kills all the
angels...but destroys Japan...or even the world in the process? Sure,
there will be survivors, but what will life be like after it?"
"It would be bad..." Rei agreed.
"School teaches you how to survive...it teaches you how to get a job,
how to calculate and deduce..." he shook his head. "But that is not as
important as teaching you why you should live." He smiled softly in the
darkened car. "Sometimes you have to know why you're fighting if you
ever want to win."
Rei nodded, though she still seemed a bit confused. "I will have to
think about that."
"Good." He said as they drove off.
They were both silent for a long time as he drove. Finally, however, a
small tune began between them. A note hummed here...then maybe a part
of a thought. Finally, however, they both agreed on a song, and before
the next red light, Rei and Kaoru were humming along with Beethoven's
9th Symphony: An ode to Joy.
She smiled up at him as they stopped at the light. "Songs are a good
reason to live."
"I agree." He smiled back.
That was right about the time that the doors opened up and they were
pulled out of the car by large men dressed in black suits.
Thirty-Ninth Lesson: "Hanging On"
"LET ME OUT!"
The nurse fell backwards, completely shocked at the sudden outburst. A
tray of needles, medicine, and water fell from her hands with a cry,
and clattered to the floor.
The redhead on the sterile, hospital sheets crawled backwards away from
the nurse, still breathing heavily. The IV needle that had been
intended to go into her arm dangled uselessly on her bed. "No! I
don't want to stay here! I don't want to stay here!"
"Miss Langley! Please relax!" the poor nurse begged, still shaking and
edging away from her. "We were just going to replenish some of your
hydrates! Nothing else!"
By now, a doctor, as well as Misato came rushing into the room, then to
a stop. Misato sighed and leaned against the wall, observing Asuka.
"Asuka. Relax. We just weren't sure when you were going to wake up.
Look around you."
Asuka blinked, as if finally realizing where she was. Her entire body
slumped down back to the bed like a rag doll. "...I see..."
The Doctor helped the nurse up and took a deep, calming breath. Misato
smiled and nodded to them that it would be okay for them to leave.
They did, gladly. "We were going to keep you here overnight just to
keep you under observation. But if you're so active, I'm sure they'll
let you go home..."
Asuka's head drooped. "N...no...I think maybe I should stay here
tonight. I don't feel so well..."
Misato sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down across from
Asuka. "Do you remember what happened?"
"I...I mean...Shinji was..." she gasped and looked up at Misato. "Is
he okay??"
"Shaken...very worried...but yes, he's okay." The older woman smiled
softly. With the same smile, but a slightly different tone, she
sighed. "Shinji told me he was giving you a backrub...are you sure
that was all?"
Asuka blushed terribly, but nodded. "Just a back-rub...I wouldn't have
freaked out so much but..."
"Your 'mother' called?" Misato said...the way she emphasized the word
showed she knew.
Asuka nodded solemnly. "I...I don't know what happened..."
A long pause. Misato sighed and finally stood. "I was supposed to
meet Ritsuko tonight, but she's not answering her phone. If you don't
mind, I'll be happy to stick around in case you need anyone that
doesn't want to poke you with needles."
She looked up with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Misato-san. That
would be nice."
"Good." She turned and sighed. "Asuka...you're under a lot of stress.
You must know what time of year is coming up..."
The silence was the yes she needed.
"Just...relax for a bit. Let Shinji take care of you." She turned and
smiled. "The boy may be kinda spineless at times, but around you, he
always seems to have your best interests in mind."
"W...well, of course." She said weakly. "The great Asuka Langley
Sohryu deserves no less in a fan-boy."
Misato nodded. "I'll be outside in the hall. Ring if you need
anything."
The door opened briefly, bathing the room in yellow light, then closed
to return it to a quiet, moody blue.
Asuka cried herself to sleep.
"That man is a monster..." Ritsuko said coldly.
Maya just sighed and nodded, trying to sneak away the bottle of sake
that Ritsuko was hoarding to herself. "So you've said, Sempai."
"You know something...he doesn't even care who knows, so long as it
doesn't screw up his glorious 'master plan' bullshit." The blond
grumbled to herself, moving the bottle to her lips before it could be
taken away. "Aaahhh...ahnd...anotherthing...." she hiccupped. "He
doe...doesn't even have the decency to tell me in person...he
just...leaves a message..."
"I still don't see why anyone would want Mister Kaji dead..." Maya
shook her head. "He's always so sweet!"
"T...that baaaaka..." Ritsuko sighed, letting her head crater on the
table. "He's so carefree, but that's goinna get him kill..." she
blinked. "i...in trouble one of these days." She sighed and let her
face lay flat on the white plastic surface. "I am scum." She cringed.
"And my arm fuckin hurts."
Maya would have launched into another torrent of how untrue that 'scum'
comment was, but she figured she had done enough damage for one day.
"I...I'll get you some Aspirin, Sempai. Just wait here." She stood and
walked over to the bathroom. The soft blue carpet in there did not
comfort her as it usually did, even though she was barefoot on it. Too
much was on her mind.
Actually, her mind was somewhere between Jupiter and Mars. If it had
been actually on earth, the weight of the thoughts on it would have
turned her mind to paste long ago.
The cat was out of the bag. She was just waiting to see what kind of
hairballs it was going to cough up.
But this was no time to think such things...not with so much going on.
Sempai...she needed help. Ordered to kill Kaji...and with the strange,
half-memories after that left her with a shot shoulder. And...the
realization that Gendo and her had...
The pills dropped noisily from her hand, scaring Maya back to reality.
She let out a strangled little sigh, picked up the aspirin and walked
back out to the kitchen. Ritsuko wasn't there.
"Hey." Ritsuko called from the living room, now laying down on the
tiny, but comfortable couch. Maya would often curl up there to sleep
herself, but still, she would have to see if Sempai could be coaxed
into taking the bed, while she would take the couch.
"Here you go." Maya said, reaching quickly and taking the sake bottle
away from the Doctor. Ritsuko grumbled something, but stopped when it
was replaced with pain-killers. "Those things act pretty fast, so it
should help."
The apartment was silent for a long time. Ritsuko took the pills and
relaxed into her hazy drunkenness. Except for a few warm lamps giving
off a pinkish glow, it was nothing but darkness around them.
"He's going to kill me." Ritsuko said, deciding her fate.
"Sempai!?!"
She closed her eyes. "Once he finds out...Kaji is still alive...it's
all over. Y...you know something? I don't think I was nervous at all
about actually pulling the trigger."
Maya blanched. "Sempai..."
"I mean, I see death every day...and I know that Kaji would probably
get a bullet eventually. Why not it be from me? Why bother sending
some anonymous man with a sniper rifle? Poor bastard would have just
died while eating his morning miso." She shivered. "I...I guess I
kinda thought that the least I could do was send him off..."
Maya was shaking, but couldn't say anything in reply.
"T...the reason I'm so scared...so shaken, Maya..." she swallowed hard.
"Is I failed Ikari. That means I no longer have a use in his mind."
"Please...Sempai...don't say that..." Maya swallowed back a sob.
"Everyone still needs you...even that old sonovabit..." she blushed.
"I mean, the Commander."
"You are too kind..." Ritsuko sighed deeply...slumping into herself.
The tone of her voice made it clear it was not being humble that made
her say that phrase.
Maya just sighed, knowing she wasn't going to win any arguments
tonight. All she could hope for was being a good friend...and trying
not to screw things up even more than they were at the moment. She
walked off and sat in the corner seat by herself, looking down and
around...anywhere but at Ritsuko. "I don't have to work until late
tomorrow...so if you need anything, I'll be awake, Sempai."
"You work at noon. That means you have to get up at ten at least.
It's already two in the morning, leaving you with less than a good
night's rest if you take into account the hour or two you're going to
be worried about an old bat like me." Ritsuko said, groaning as she
turned onto her stomach. "I've already fucked up your week enough. Go
to bed."
"You're not an old bat." Maya said quietly.
Ritsuko grumbled into the couch pillows. "I was just being poetic.
Please, Maya, go to sleep...I'm tired, and if someone really wants me
dead tonight, I will be dead." She shook her head and sighed. "Just go
to sleep."
"I'll just call in sick tomorrow." Maya said. "I have a few extra days
on sick leave."
"I'm not going to be able to get rid of you, am I?" Ritsuko sighed.
There was a sudden, terrible silence. Ritsuko's hazy mind looked over
the last bit of dialogue and groaned inwardly at itself.
"I didn't mean it like..."
The sound of a door sliding close down the hallway was her only
response. Ritsuko waited...for some reason hoping that Maya would come
back out...that maybe it was just...she shouldn't have said that...she
should fix it...get up and try to fix it...get up...move...
She couldn't.
"Fuck." The blond sighed. Her body surrendered to the drunken bliss,
and her mind a moment after into sleep.
Maybe it was better to do nothing. At least for tonight.
When one is alone, they notice strange things.
Such as the crack in the corner of the chalk-board, something he must
have looked at a hundred times each day, yet never noticed to this
extent.
Or the way that the buckets were stacked in the corner, held up by some
magical force of gravity, or lack they're of. The way that the world
outside seemed flat and two dimensional through the thick glass at the
top of the windows, yet returned to almost...but not quite...three
dimensional when it was viewed through the thinner, smaller glass at
eye-level.
Shinji sat in his desk, looking around slowly, as if for the first time
in a new place...not wanting to seem rude by examining the environment,
but still having enough curiosity to risk looking around unabated. He
had learned how to observe...and not be caught...from his lifetime of
being in the shadows. It made him feel important...knowing things
behind the scenes. Things that the important people didn't know about
other important people.
He smiled slightly, wondering if that was why he chose to be a spy in
the class' mock-government. Being able to see things that might be
useful, while other people would look them over. But...today he had
failed.
Asuka...
Why? What was he missing?
"You're working too hard." Kaoru said softly. His presence was
suddenly beside the boy in another desk.
Shinji turned to see his Sensei and sighed. "I'm not working hard
enough."
"You are working hard." Kaoru said, shaking his head. "You've always
been good at that."
"I want people to be proud of me." Shinji said, then looked down at his
desk. "I want to help other people with my work."
"Like Asuka?" Kaoru asked, motioning up to the chalkboard.
Instead of the black, dusty board with a crack in the corner, there was
a picture of Asuka lying in a hospital bed in a dark room. She was
sleeping peacefully, yet the scene still drove a shiver down Shinji's
spine. "Yes." He said, turning away from the board.
"You must know that you can't help everyone." Kaoru said, standing up
and walking over to the board.
"I can try." Shinji said.
"This is not a test, Shinji...nor some foolish game. You can not help
everyone." He looked at the 'Asuka' on the board. "Would you sacrifice
her if everyone else would live?"
Shinji said nothing.
"Something inside you says yes...yet another says no." Kaoru smiled
apologetically, taking an eraser and wiping the board clean of the
image, stroke by stroke. "And you know they're both right."
"Yes." Shinji sighed, slumping in his seat. But, then, all of a
sudden, he looked back up. "But...Sensei...If I cannot even save just
one person, how can I save the rest?"
Kaoru nodded and sat down on his desk. He seemed to perch there for a
long time, thinking and pondering in the way men do when they know the
answer...but do not know how to answer the question.
"You must work hard...differently." He said simply.
Shinji blinked.
"You are working too hard on what you know..." he smiled. "Eva...you
have re-learned to fight in Eva...to sync with Eva. You have learned
how to protect people again."
"I have!" Shinji nodded.
"But...what about everything else?"
Shinji blinked. "I...I don't know."
"Have you learned how to perform C.P.R.?" Kaoru shrugged. "Or maybe
tie a splint around someone's leg?" a smile. "Have you learned how to
comfort a baby who is crying in the middle of the night, yet is both
fed, and dry?
Shinji blushed and shook his head.
"You are working hard." Kaoru said, walking back over to the desk.
"But that is to be expected." He sat back down and turned to Shinji.
"Do not rely on only what other people tell you to. Eva is not
everything. Do not think it is the only thing important." He said.
"Or it will kill us all."
The chalkboard exploded, showering the dream with red, blinding light.
"AHHHH!" Shinji sprung up in his bed, looking around desperately for
something solid.
The uncomfortable feeling in his ear was enough for him to register his
return to consciousness. His ear bud had gotten mashed into his ear as
he slept...the rhythmic beats of an old Macross Plus song replacing the
odd dream-like silence from before. He relaxed back down in the
covers, turning off his SDAT and removing it from his ear.
His footsteps seemed so loud in the dead, little apartment.
Pen-Pen joined him at the kitchen table, concerned that the young man
hadn't yet dressed in fresh clothes. "Wuaagh." He Wuaaghed.
"Hey, Pen-Pen." Shinji smiled a weak hello, looking down at the
penguin who was crawling up onto the opposite chair at the kitchen
table. "Want some breakfast?"
"Wuaagh!"
Shinji nodded and got up to the fridge, fixing a breakfast for them
both. "I hope Asuka's okay..." he said to himself.
The living room was cleaned up...a nervous and restless night's work.
It had been tossed about in the panic last night, but Shinji felt it
was his duty to set things right again so Asuka and Misato could return
home to a clean apartment.
No matter how hard his night had been, Asuka's must have been worse.
Images of the dream still haunted him. The message clear in his mind.
Even with Eva, there was so much he was powerless to do. Unable to
help with. Confined against. Useless to protect.
But that didn't mean he should give up.
Should it?
"Wuaaagh!" Pen-Pen flapped his wings happily as the door opened.
Shinji gasped and put down the frying pan as Asuka and Misato walked
through the door lazily, obviously neither with a good night's sleep.
"Tadaima." Misato yawned into the air...then blinked as she saw Asuka
nearly leap forward half the living room into an equally magnetic
embrace. "Woah..."
They just stood there and hugged. It was a nice hug. Misato smiled
and sighed as she walked past them...both just breathing and hugging.
Content to do nothing more. "Okay, you two...break it up, hey?"
They both turned red and the poles were reversed on their magnet,
springing them apart a few steps. "Gomen..." they echoed together.
"It's okay." She smiled thoughtfully. "Just don't get too comfortable
here, okay? There's a Sync-Test today."
They both sighed, but nodded. "Hai." Again, echoing each other.
"I'm going to get a bath." Misato said. "We'll leave for HQ in two
hours." She winked at the two, who were still blushing. "Don't get too
comfortable." And then was down the hall.
Asuka sighed and grumbled. "If she rubs it in anymore than she already
does, I swear I'm going to look like my Eva!"
"That doesn't matter." Shinji smiled and took her hand. "Are you okay?
I was worried I hurt you or something..."
Asuka looked away for a moment, then smiled softly. "You haven't hurt
me yet, Shinji. Just don't start, okay?" she shivered. "I'm having a
shitty week."
"I know...it's okay." He hugged her again...this time much softer.
"Hey, I was just making Pen-Pen and I some food...did you want to join
in?"
Asuka smiled and nodded, sighing as Shinji let go to walk back over to
the kitchen. "So what's on the menu today?"
"Miso soup." Shinji said, boiling water. "It's good for whatever's
troubling you."
"I hope so." She said to herself and sat down at the table with the
penguin, watching Shinji cook.
"Maya...I didn't mean it like that." Ritsuko said, trying to keep up to
her younger counterpart as they almost ran down the hall. It was times
such as these that she cursed her smoking habit. Maya would be able to
run circles around her before she even broke a sweat.
"I know, Sempai." She said in monotone. It had been the ninth time she
said that this hour. "We're going to be late. We'll talk about it
later."
The Doctor sighed and shook her head. If it wasn't for this damn bout
of morals lately, maybe she'd just shrug it off. Leave it to an A.T.
Field to change all that in a blink of an eye. "Fine. We'll talk
about this later."
With the rapid echo of their shoes, neither heard the approaching
footsteps of Commander Ikari until he was right around the corner.
Maya, in her focused point of view, only had time to say 'eep!' as she
saw two black shoes step right into her path.
While it was still a rather impressive collision, poor Maya and her
lighter body weight suffered the most violent effects from the blow.
She was crumpled out against the wall while the Commander simply
stumbled over her legs, catching himself on the opposite side of the
hallway.
The Commander looked confused for a moment as everyone gasped.
Finally, though, as he saw the situation...the same icy gaze that he
always had returned. He turned to Ritsuko and let out a small frown.
That small frown instilled more pure terror in her heart than she had
ever known in her life.
"Doctor." He said simply, then walked past her...just barely missing
her, as if she was already a ghost he didn't fear stepping into.
Ritsuko waited...long after he left...before a desperate gasp escaped
her lips. "Oh god..."
The feeling of cold was nice. A dirty, abet cool, metal floor was the
main reason he hadn't hauled his sorry ass up onto the cot long ago.
While it was indeed cold and dirty, the cool feeling throughout his
body was the only thing preventing his head from throbbing in pain.
Now why did they have to go and do a thing like that?
The unmistakable feeling of ice filled the air, and Sensei Miyazaki
remembered why he was here.
"Hey, Commander..." he croaked. "Nice to see you again."
The Commander was not amused. In fact, there was a very loud, angry
scraping of metal as he dragged a spare chair right up next to Kaoru's
head...stopping a bit too close for comfort. Gendo then sat in the
chair, and glared down at the Sensei like the Almighty Himself.
"Who are you."
Kaoru groaned and sat up slowly, finally hauling himself onto the shelf
that was called a cot. "Why do you care?"
Gendo waited patiently as the other man became comfortable on the seat.
Then, he tried again, applying more of his Gendo-like charm.
"Who are you."
"Maybe I don't want you to know." Kaoru smiled back.
Gendo frowned at that.
"Well now...let's see." Kaoru said lazily. "I suppose I could just be
a very good actor, and weaselled my way into school so I could molest
your young Miss Ayanami, could I?"
The room literally dropped in temperature. The Commander stood, and
for the briefest moment...he seemed to shake.
"Or..." Kaoru said quickly. "Maybe I'm your conscious." He grinned up
through a stray bit of his hair that lay over his glasses. "Maybe I'm
trying to un-fuck all your mistakes."
"Mistakes?" Gendo relaxed, chewing into the bit that didn't make him
uncomfortable. "You, young man, have no idea what a 'mistake' is."
It was Kaoru's turn to glare.
"Or...maybe...just maybe...I'm God's Wrath."
Gendo met the gaze, un-phased.
"Maybe I'm here to kick your sorry butt into hell where you belong."
Kaoru whispered. "Of course, that would be too easy...so I'm here to
make you suffer first."
Gendo smirked at that. "Or maybe you've been hanging around with high
school students too long, Mister Miyazaki." He adjusted his glasses.
"Because that was quite a childish remark."
"Was it now." Kaoru looked up.
The two men sat in the cell for a long moment, not saying anything.
They both knew the other was enjoying it, too.
"Where's Rei?" Miyazaki finally asked.
"...Where she belongs." Gendo responded after a moment of pause.
"Where? In that stinking tank of goo you call a 'tank'?" Miyazaki
frowned.
"It is where she feels safest."
"Only because you aren't there with her." Kaoru frowned. "At least not
right now."
A smirk slid across Gendo's face. "You must remind me to congratulate
Mister Kaji. He is quite a useful man, is he not?"
"You could say that." Kaoru said.
"I'm curious to know how you two became acquainted." Gendo sat back,
arms crossed. "Was it in the Special Forces? Maybe in University?"
the Commander leaned forward a bit. "Or maybe you two are lovers? You
can never tell with you 'kids' now a days..."
"Curious?" Kaoru smirked back. "If you want, I could introduce you to
a couple of my homo-buddies. I'm sure you'd like being the bitch. You
seem so adept."
"Again, with the potty-mouth." Gendo sat back. "My my...The parents
must wonder where their children are getting such foul language."
"I learn from the best." Kaoru said coldly, never taking his eyes off
the man. "It's not so much the language, rather the soul."
Gendo stood slowly and began to walk to the door. "Tell me,
Sensei...if that is indeed what you really are..." he turned around, as
he neared the door. "Do you believe in detention?"
Kaoru thought about it for a moment. "I suppose. It does have its
uses. But generally, I find it just generates anger in the students,
while not solving anything."
Gendo smirked. "Exactly." He brought out a gun from his pocket.
"That's why I also use pain."
Kaoru didn't have time to react before a loud CRACK! rang out, followed
by his own loud gasping breath as pain exploded from his arm.
As the smoke cleared, Kaoru was prone on the side of the bed, shaking
as he tried not to scream. A red splotch of colour was spreading out
from the centre of his arm, right at the elbow.
Gendo pocketed the gun casually, watching his foe writhe on the bed.
"That's for mentioning...even the possibility...of you touching Rei."
He opened the door as Kaoru gasped out in pain. "And these last few
days of your miserable, starving life will be for getting in my way."
He smirked.
Kaoru fell to the floor, gasping out, still unable to scream because of
the pain of a bullet lodged right in his joint.
"Goodbye, Mister Miyazaki."
The door slammed shut. Kaoru could only scream in response.
Why had she done it?
What made it happen?
Asuka knew...
But she begged herself to keep asking the questions. Asking...not
answering.
It was simple...try to focus on some other reason. But three hours was
three hours. Three hours all alone in a pool of LCL. Three hours all
alone with your thoughts.
With all your inner dragons nipping at your heels.
She begged herself to focus. Every thought in her mind streaming
towards one goal. Finish the bloody test...go home...and cry.
But it wasn't working. She couldn't feel the Eva anymore. It was
still on the fringe of her mind, but it seemed so distant. Like a
glove that was only on by the tips of your fingers. And it was
slipping. Always slipping. Every time she tried to push back into it,
she missed, and nudged it a bit further away from her grasp.
It became a maddening game. She hated games.
But WHY!???!
The last few months had been so great!
Well...mostly...
Okay...just enough to give her the taste of Life again. There was
still tragedy, but now, she had something to fight for. Shinji.
'Together'.
Why was it so DIFFICULT?? Even now? With all that had happened?
"Die with me..."
Because...there was still so much she hadn't resolved.
"Momma!" she saw herself running in her mind...but then shut off the
image before it threatened to overwhelm.
Shinji wouldn't leave her...
But...
Neither would her momma...
She kept coming back...
A little more each time...
Begging her to join.
Join her in the nothing. The empty death.
Sometimes she would imagine how nice it would feel...to feel nothing
again. Like how she did at her Momma's funeral. Like how she did when
she first saw Shinji. Back on the boat...
But it was all so overwhelming.
Asuka sobbed now. Looking out over the pinkish cooling liquid that
surrounded her Eva. Her tears dissolved so effortlessly in it.
Nothing lasted. Nothing, except the pain that made those tears.
"I hate you..." she whispered to Unit 02. "Why wont you move for me
anymore?"
The red giant said nothing in response. It's eyes looked on
listlessly.
All their scores had been down today. Asuka knew it wasn't just
her...Rei, despite her calm exterior, seemed almost worried about
something. She could remember those little cringes on her face on the
comm. channel. And Shinji...who would always be checking on both of
them. His concentration was shot to hell, and his rate fell the most
out of all of them. Even poor Toji seemed shaken at how sullen
everyone was, and his scores evened off just slightly higher than
Shinji's for once, but below his original average.
"I should be leading these morons..." she wiped away the tears,
demanding response from, if not her Eva, then her own body. "I should
be back at the top of the scores. I should be charging into battle!"
her voice soared briefly, but cracked.
"I should be the one who chooses if you move or not." She whispered
coldly. "You are MY doll."
Images kept flashing through her head. She scrambled to get through
them. "No...no...."
She looked up at the monster. "I am Asuka Langley Sohryu...and I am
your pilot."
The Eva said nothing.
"So...DO something!"
The Eva did nothing.
Asuka sighed, and turned her head.
Just as the klaxon began.
"An Angel?" she blinked. "They're still coming...?"
Toji turned on his three pilot's monitors and sighed. They were a
sorry looking bunch today.
Asuka looked frazzled, like she had some cloud on her mind. She
couldn't even look at the camera for some reason...maybe scared to open
herself up to the others. "Unit Two, standing by."
Rei just added her own unit's number into the mix, and then stared
blankly ahead into space. Not really a big deal, except it seemed that
the improvements in her personality had been wiped clean, as if they
never happened. Hell, she even arrived at the briefing room in her old
School uniform.
His buddy, Shinji, looked worse. Obviously tired...but restless. In
fact, his hands were gripped around his control bars. "Unit-01, ready
for orders." He whispered. In reality, however, Unit-01 was still in
lockdown. The other Units were free and on the catapults. Shinji's
Eva was in the cage still, frozen in place by a million safety-devices.
While his test scores looked below-average, the look in his eyes made
Toji glad they were on the same side. "Unit Three, ready."
Misato, from the control room, could see everything herself. Her
burden was heavier, however, due to the strange silence in the control
room with Ritsuko's quiet dark cloud about her. As well, as she was
able to see all four of the Children's metal states...including their
low sync rates.
Luckily, the Angel seemed to be taking it's time. That time, if they
were lucky, would be enough to change this all around with a pep talk.
Yeah...right.
"Situation report." She ordered.
The screen shifted to a scene from orbit. One of the UN's satellites
was beaming the picture to them...an odd, ghostly light was slowly
drifting towards them.
As a new feed kicked in a moment later, the angel appeared to be what
it really was...some disturbing, yet beautiful marriage of snowflake
and insect. Long, spiny wings and forms branched off one another,
forming a random crystal look. Misato mused it was actually quite
beautiful. Then again, lethality and beauty often went hand in hand.
"Well, so much for our vacation, people."
Fortieth Lesson: "The First Other"
There is something sad in assuming that the Mother is the 'first
other'.
The first person you meet. The first you know. The first you talk to
and trust. Even if it is only in limited baby-speak, you try to
communicate with that woman. You try, because you know her. You
assume she must care for you, or you wouldn't be here.
Once in a while, however, one does not connect the ways they should.
Perhaps the mother is not willing. Or loving. Or the child is not
willing, or loving. The Perfect Love that the mother and child have at
the beginning cannot last, of course.
Like all true love, it withers on the vine. Grows stale with age.
Bitter.
As the Angel slid into Asuka's mind, it was horrified to know this. To
understand this. How something so perfect could be misconstrued and
warped.
Rape?
It's mission almost ended there...shocked...somehow. Hearing that
word...that horrible, horrible word...come from the Child's mouth...
It was like a young daughter accusing her father of rape.
It saddened the Angel. More than words, or emotions could ever reveal
to the Child. But it could not stop...it would not stop. It had to
reveal...make the prophecy complete. No matter the cost.
Again...that word. "Don't rape my mind!"
Had the Angel the features of the Angel of Free Will, it might have
cringed. It did not want to rape her...it did not want to hurt her.
But this had to be done. This HAD to be done. Now, more than ever.
It did have faith, though. Faith that the one known as Teacher would
help. Teacher would set the stage...make things better this time.
And to an Angel, faith was unquestionable.
And so, it raped her mind. It pulled out every...single...tiny...
thought. And it showed it to Asuka. It was relentless. A mindless
machine, driven and powered by the Faith alone. And it was enough.
Even when the Cyclops fired the Light at it, the Angel withstood.
Blasted Machine of Lillim. It WOULD try again...and perhaps not be so
weak.
Asuka...the poor child. It did feel pity...but also judgment towards
the girl. Her arrogance and hatred would be her undoing. It was only
her love that would save her.
The Angel prayed that the Teacher would teach her this...maybe he
already had. It did not matter to an Angel.
STRANGLED!
Is that how it feels, Asuka? To have nothing else but pain in your
life? No room to breathe? No room but to fight or suffocate?
HATRED!
You hate the people closest to you? Even your own Lillim? Why? Why
do you hate them so much, Child?
PAIN!
It does not hurt, Child. I am not attacking you. I am not cutting
your flesh, nor destroying your mind... What is it that makes so much
pain in such a precious, tiny body?
SHAME!
One so proud...ahh...yes...The logic is there. But it is such a petty
thing! To feel hate inwards is truly a horrible thing! Why? Why do
you think so little of yourself when any lesser Lillim would gladly die
under this life?
SUICIDE!
Is that what drives you? To be killed rather than to die? To have
your death in another's hands? You focus too much on this, Child. You
cannot die if you have not lived.
INVADER!
I have not entered you, Child. I will not...for that is blasphemous.
I am only showing you the truth.
COMFORTABLE
Ahh...yes...now you see it. You try to become one with your pain. But
why? Why is this so easy for you to dismiss. I will NOT allow you.
I will NOT allow you to forget this. I will NOT allow this all to be
destroyed. You may not be ready for the Test, but we are. We all are.
Your Lillim are ready. Your family is ready. Your Mother is ready.
Shinji is ready. Rei is ready.
I will make you ready.
Do not fail them.
Shinji listened to it all.
He had no choice.
He lay paralyzed in his outer shell...his Mother unable to help him
without his Father's permission. All he could do is listen.
He could hear Ayanami and Toji fight. Toji had taken the rifle from
Rei, and kept firing. He demanded the machine to kill the Angel, but
it would not work. All the power and science of Man could not fight
this Angel.
Rei disappeared for a moment, after being given a command. Shinji
prayed it was for the best...that not she, also, had been raped by
this...this....THING.
And, despite his rage, he felt as his Eva did. Dormant. Lifeless.
Powerless.
It was a strange feeling. Calming...yet horrifying.
"Mother..." he whispered.
"Mother...is this what you feel?"
There was no response, but the cries on his intercom, and the
flickering static from Unit-02's window.
"I'm so sorry, mother...I wish I could help..." Shinji whispered.
It would take the Evangelion eight seconds to achieve full power. With
Shinji at the helm, in this state of mind, he would have not needed the
catapult to reach the surface.
But yet, he could do nothing.
His mind raged out, clawing at the cage around him, yet he could not
move until Father let him.
"We cannot allow an invasion of Unit-01."
So, Shinji watched.
And cried.
Maya watched in horror, unable to blink as Unit-02 was bombarded by the
deceptively simple beam of light. At her control panel, the read-outs
showed what was actually happening.
Asuka was being destroyed, inside and out.
The entire bridge crew had to hold back their shock at the reaction
from the Evangelion. It shook and twitched like it was burning alive
under an invisible flame. The Weapon that hand a Mind was now insane,
unable to do anything because of the attack on it's pilot. Blast after
blast had rung out overhead as Unit-02 discharged it's positron ammo in
a futile effort to aim for it's orbital attacker.
Deep, charred scars would welcome the city in the morning. Asuka would
fair much worse.
The Commander just watched, waiting for Rei to reappear. His wonderful
Rei. His doll.
And she did.
Finally, after what seemed like HOURS of wait...listening to Asuka's
cries and screams, Rei came to the rescue.
Toji tried the best he could. But it seemed a sexist statement that
the males of the team would not be allowed into the battle. He kept a
bead on the Angel with a positron rifle, ready to offer cover if
needed.
But the intercom did not show Rei's face. Her crying as she heard
Asuka's own. Everything coming back to her as she heard the
screams...the pain of being violated.
She didn't wait for the countdown.
The Lance was a huge, twisted shape. It seemed almost organic breed
with metal. It was animated by the Evangelion, twisting ever so
slightly, as if already knowing it's fate into the core of the Enemy.
Rei knew this pain. She was feeling it right now. The feeling of
being helpless and powerless against the Enemy. No matter who it was.
Even if she begged her inner self not to be mad...not to feel pain
towards him...she couldn't fool herself right now. Not with Asuka's
cries and the violent death-throws of her Eva's mind.
For now, though, it was enough. And when the Lance left her hands, it
was with all the rage in Rei's heart.
She never even had to aim.
Finally, the Angel thought...and then ceased to be with a loud, echoing
CRACK!
The aftermath was split into parts. Nobody could deny, however, that
they could pretend things were the same.
The Forth Child
---------------
Toji sat in the class-room, leaning back against the chair. The red
sun outside clouded over his dark emotions that day. He didn't really
want to be feeling like this anyway, so he welcomed the semi-calm of
the sunset, even if it was still the colour of blood.
The colour of Unit-02.
A flash of pain crossed over his mind as he remembered the screams.
"Suzuhara?" He jolted upright, surprised. Poor Hikari almost fell
over herself in reaction. She quickly calmed herself, though, when she
saw his eyes. "Are you okay, Toji-chan?"
"No." Toji said absently, returning his gaze to the window, trying to
avoid the initial question. "Sorry for startling you. I didn't
realize anyone was still here."
"Neither did I, but I called your house, and your sister said you still
hadn't returned home..." She blushed and turned away. "I should have
stopped there, but...I...I didn't know if you were okay...and Asuka's
nowhere to be found..."
"She's..." Toji cringed. "She's with Shinji." It was the truth.
Asuka had refused to go to the hospital. Shinji had ignored his
father's orders for contamination and went with her. Misato didn't
bother objecting. Not after the hellish day's events.
"Oh." The class-rep whispered, then ventured a few desks closer to Toji
before sitting down in one. "Are they okay?"
"No."
She looked to the front of the class, not sure how to take the casual
nature he was saying this in.
"I don't think anyone's okay at NERV. Not after today, Hikari." Toji
explained. "And I couldn't do anything to help." He sighed and then
cocked his head to the side in a quizzical gaze at the clouds. They
had been so dark before...now they were parted and wispy from where the
Lance had shot through them. "I may have just as well been helping the
fucking thing."
"What...thing?"
"The Angel." Toji said. "I didn't even screw up today...and it still
was useless." He hung his head down a bit. "Story of my life, hey,
Hikari-chan?"
"W...what do you mean?" she blushed and turned away.
"Everything I do...nothing matters." He said quietly. "It's my worst
fear shoved right in my face." He sighed and then groaned about some
distant memory. "That's why I beat on Shinji when I first met him. At
least then I thought I was doing something to remedy the situation." He
shook his head. "But even that just turned out to be bullshit that I
was trying to make up to feel good."
"I...it takes a lot to admit that, Toji." Hikari said. "And Shinji and
you are friends now. If you didn't realize your mistake, you two might
still be avoiding each other."
"And meanwhile the only contribution I've been to the Evangelion Team
was carrying ammo."
Hikari sighed as a silence came over the room. "That's not fair for you
to say about yourself."
"Fair?" Toji turned slightly towards her. "And was it fair when that
Angel raped Asuka's mind today in front of everyone?"
The silence was horrible.
Toji stood and walked over to the window. "I no longer care about who
it is or what the circumstances are." He said quietly. "If I ever hear
of anyone raping anyone, I will personally kill the man, woman, or
thing that did it."
The class rep just shivered at the cold way he said it. Rather...at
what must have happened to make him say it.
"I don't know how Shinji can bear it..." he said. "If it had been
you..." he turned away. "I...I'd go crazy. I really have no idea what
I'd do."
She was silent, still slightly shocked from the images...not wanting to
ask the questions she screamed to ask, but also not wanting to hear any
more of the ordeal. Asuka...oh god...what had happened to her?
"Why couldn't I do anything?" Toji said. Behind his voice, though,
there was something Hikari had never heard before. "I wanted
to...hell...I even got that ugly piece of shit Eva to listen to me for
once..." he slowly sunk to the ground, looking out the window.
Hikari gasped and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his
shoulders. "Toji..."
She felt something wet against her arm...tears. Toji tried not to let
it show, though. To his credit, he never cracked once. His voice
strained on words, though.
"It's okay, Toji...you can cry if you want...I'm here." Hikari
whimpered against his back, holding him tightly. "I'm so sorry I can't
help more..."
"No." Toji said. "I'm not allowed."
"Why not?" Hikari sniffed, tears of her own hitting his shoulder.
"Cause I'm not the one who got raped. And I'm not the one who had to
watch his loved-one get raped." Toji said quietly. "I'm sorry if that
means I can't cry."
Hikari nodded and shivered as he stood up, out of her embrace. "I
understand."
Toji stood and shook his head. "So do I..." he said, lifting her up
into a tight hug. "Thank you..."
"Don't mention it..." Hikari whispered, and leaned up for a kiss.
The two of them stayed like that long past sunset.
The Cat and Mouse
-----------------
Ritsuko stared aimlessly across the city. The holographic displays of
Terminal Dogma were some of the best ways of doing this. If one didn't
mind the metallic smell in the air, you could imagine that you were
looking out over a park.
Unit-02 had blown a scar across the city, however, and it looked far
from peaceful. Giant, still-smoking blasts from it's positron cannon,
and the red and white flashes of emergency vehicles and teams still
showed the lasting after effects of the battle.
Battle...no...that wasn't the right word. FUBAR seemed more like it.
Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.
She was all alone right now. The terminal at her side hummed with life
given to it by the MAGI underneath, but she felt nothing but cold. The
cold, however, was beginning to eat away at her insides.
Maybe it was the day's tension finally catching up to her...but it
really did begin to eat her insides.
Poor Ritsuko barely made it to the bathroom in time to retch in the
sink.
It wasn't till the fourth dry-heave that she noticed someone else
camped out with her head next to one of the toilets. "S...Sempai?"
Ritsuko groaned and sunk to the floor. "Maya..."
The younger scientist looked white as a sheet, even when she blushed.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."
The blonde groaned as Maya struggled to her feet in an effort to let
her sempai puke in peace. "Sit the hell down before you hurt yourself,
Maya."
Maya complied, but mostly because she collapsed and puked in the sink
next to her. "Go...gomen..." she whispered. "I...ju...just can't
stop...Asuka-chan...I...." she coughed. "I...it was horrible."
"I know." Ritsuko said, strengthened by the cold coming back to her.
Maya shivered and then slumped to the ground next to her. "I suppose
you have enough to worry about...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought
it up."
"You..." Ritsuko said dryly. "You must think I'm one cold bitch."
Maya shook her head, but did not say anything out of lack of conviction
at the moment.
"Shit..." the elder of the two sighed. "You know...I suppose that's
the reason I never told you about this stuff, Maya. I thought...at
least for a while, I could have someone that didn't hate my guts."
"Sempa..."
"WAIT!" Ritsuko demanded. Maya shut up immediately. "That was NOT
some pitiful attempt at getting attention." She turned away. "I want
you to know that. I wouldn't be so immature with you, Maya. You
deserve better." She sighed. "I'm just sick of this. And most of it
is my fault." She sighed, bonking her head back against the sink.
"Ouch."
Maya hung her head. "It is."
Ritsuko blinked, a bit surprised that Maya admitted it, but just nodded
and rubbed her head. "Asuka won't be allowed to pilot unless there's
some kind of emergency. We'll have to find a replacement." She sighed.
"I'm tired of this game. People seem to die around me." She turned to
Maya. "I don't like that."
"What do you like, then?" Maya asked after a pause.
She blinked, then turned to the side. "I don't know. It's been so
long since I've done anything I like."
"Why are you here, then?" Maya shrugged. "Shouldn't work give you some
enjoyment?"
"No." Ritsuko sighed. "Not when it's this important." She paused. "I
suppose it did...at one time. I actually remember days where I woke up
and felt like I was going to change the world for the better."
Maya smiled weakly. "That sounds a lot like why I come in every day."
Ritsuko nodded and sighed. "A lot of the NERV crew probably thinks
like that...or we'd have lost long ago." She looked over to Maya
casually. "Can I ask you something?"
Maya nodded. "Sure."
"How do you get through the days that you'd rather sit in bed and do
nothing?"
"Sempai?"
Ritsuko sighed weakly. "I remember one day...last March...where I
finally had a day off. It was..." she groaned. "It was wonderful just
to do nothing for a day. I think that's the only thing I can actually
remember me enjoying right now." She smiled a guilty little smile. "I
just stayed in bed and watched TV, petting my cats as they'd come up to
me and wonder why I was still at home instead of working."
Maya smiled, blushing slightly. "That sounds like a very nice
vacation, Sempai."
"Yes...but what do you do when that's the only joy you know?" Ritsuko
shook her head. "That one day haunts me now...because I would rather
do that then get up and try to save NERV from going to hell and back
because of it's schizophrenic commander."
Maya looked away for a moment, then shrugged. "I always find something
else to look forward to."
"Like what?" Ritsuko pressed.
Maya turned bright red. A surprising feat considering how pale she had
been a moment ago. "Coffee." The doctor blinked, confused. Maya
sighed. "If at any time I feel I don't want to go into work...I just
remember I get to have coffee with you in the morning...and sometimes
all day."
Ritsuko smirked. "Maya...if that's the reason you feel so..." she
turned away. "Well, attached to your employer...I'm sure we could find
you another person to have coffee with."
Maya frowned. "Sempai, if that was the only reason I admired you,
trust me, I would have stopped long ago." She blinked, then turned
away. "After all, you're not much of a conversationalist, even after
your second cup."
Ritsuko looked down at her lap. Then up at Maya. "Then...why?"
"Because it's the only time I can be around you and not get nagged to
death by the others." She sighed quietly. "I don't enjoy your company
just because you're the only one around. Hell, the others think I'm
crazy, because every time I offer to get your coffee, you always dump a
bunch of work on me. The rest of the crew would rather chew off their
own arms than give you coffee!" she shook her head, then laughed
quietly. "It's actually quite funny to watch their reactions. They
give me looks of gratitude...like I just threw myself on top of a live
N2 Mine to save them."
Ritsuko couldn't help but smile.
"Still...that's not the reason I do it." She blushed. "I mean...'that'
is the reason...but not just be around you. I...admire...you because I
know you are a brilliant person." She smiled, gaining a bit more
confidence in her speech. "I get to work along side you. That's quite
an honour for a student like me."
"So...you do it because you have a fetish for big brains?" Ritsuko
blinked.
Maya gasped and hid her face. "NO!" she groaned. "It...it's not a
'fetish!' It's just that..." she shook her head, sighing. "It's just
that I admire that. I try to work towards it." She hid her face in her
hands. "I...I know it sounds corny...but it's like how...how a strong
couple always says the other person is their better half...or how they
complete each other."
While the concepts of Man and Woman were still alien as hell to the
good Doctor, she had to admit the logic was sound. "So...you...like me
because we're a good team together?"
"Basically...but not as simple as that..." she whispered, blushing
terribly.
"Nothing ever is with human emotion." Ritsuko sighed and turned her
back to Maya. "If it was just a matter of teamwork, I'd say Shinji is
in love with Unit-01, and Asuka with Unit-02. "
"Or the Commander and Fuyutsuki-Sensei." Maya said.
The mental image of the Commander and Sub-Commander 'making out'
finally cracked the cold in Ritsuko's belly, and she began laughing
hysterically, completely caught off guard. "MAYA! That's HORRIBLE!"
Maya giggled to herself. "Sorry...Just I always wondered...they're
always up in that little room all by themselves."
Ritsuko took a long, cleansing breath and slowly stood up...then
offered her hand to Maya. "Come on."
"Huh?" Maya blinked, allowing herself to be lifted up. "Where are we
going?"
"We have a shit-load of work tomorrow." Ritsuko sighed as they walked
out of the bathroom together. "But there's not much we can do tonight.
So...I say we go out and get some coffee."
"Y...you wouldn't mind?" Maya blinked, then turned red. "Even
after...all I told you?"
Ritsuko shook her head. "Maya...I'm not inviting you to a night of
dinner, dancing and a romp in the sack." She groaned as Maya almost
turned completely red. "I just want to have coffee with my co-worker.
Okay???"
Maya nodded, embarrassed, but suffering through it for her heart's sake
that it could not pump enough blood to make her blush anymore.
"O...okay, Sempai."
"And it's Ritsuko. Just for one night, okay?" she smiled. "It's the
least you can do after haunting me with images of Gendo and Kouzo in
the sack together."
Maya bowed her head, smiling weakly. "Okay, Ritsuko-san."
"Much better, Maya-san." She smiled and sighed as they passed the huge
holograms that made up the outside world. "Now let's get the hell out
of here before I hate this place any more than I already do."
The Cloak and Dagger
--------------------
"Well...if you aren't a sorry sight, I don't know what is." Kaji
smirked as the door opened.
"I...I...Hate you." Kaoru gasped as the light hit his already red eyes.
It was clear he was in shock now...the pain already overloading several
of his brain cells.
"And I'm not exactly fond of you." Kaji said, kneeling down next to the
shivering man. "But yet I'm here to put you out of your misery."
Kaoru stopped shaking for a moment as he realized there was a gun
against his head. "W...what the hell are you doing?"
"You're shot. Why shouldn't I just finish the job right here?" the Spy
said solemnly.
"I have work to do." Kaoru said quietly, gritting his teeth. "And I'm
not going to die unless I bleed to death. You're not going to get in
my way."
"What have you been doing, then?" Kaji said, not even blinking. "You
told me long ago that you had important things to do...things to change
and people to help. But the only thing I've seen you do with my own
two eyes is piss off Gendo." He smiled. "Not that I'm not enjoying the
show...but I'm beginning to wonder if your only worth is entertainment
value."
"I'm glad you're so amused." Kaoru shook.
"Mmm...are you now?" Kaji loaded a bullet into the firing chamber of
his gun.
"Do..." he gasped and coughed out a bit of bile. "Sorry..."
"No problem. I have ten minutes before the guard wakes up." Kaji
smiled. "Take your time."[
"Do you know how hard it is to manipulate people?" Kaoru gasped as he
sat up against the far wall, ignoring the gun still pointing at his
head.
"I've heard it can be quite a chore." He frowned. "Though people like
Gendo do it daily."
"Well...I'll tell you right now...it's even harder when you try to do
it for the right reasons." Kaoru said, taking a few calming breathes as
he held his arms from shaking.
"And fucking Misato is one of these so called 'noble' reasons?"
"Shut the HELL up." The Sensei hissed with a long, tired voice. "You
said I had ten minutes, and I'm going to use them."
"Seven. One for me to get out of here after I shoot you."
"Fine." Kaoru grumbled. "I'd like to ask you one thing...aren't there
times in your job that you want to act...but can't?"
"Like how I want to shoot you, but I'm forced to give you another
second chance, because I'm not entirely sure you're worthless to me
yet?"
"Yes...like that." Kaoru said dryly.
"Oh, yeah..." Kaji smiled. "All the time."
"You have to understand then...the stage is almost set." Kaoru said
quietly. "You can't end it now. Not when we're all so close."
"Close to WHAT?" Kaji demanded, re-focusing on is gun in frustration.
"I've been listening to Misato cry all DAY about what happened with
Asuka and that Angel! WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD WILL COME FROM ASUKA'S MIND
BEING FUCKED!?"
Kaoru blinked in shock.
"I...it happened...already?"
"What the HELL do you mean by 'ALREADY'!?" Kaji hissed. "You mean you
WANTED that to happen? You KNEW it was going to happen, and you did
NOTHING to stop it?"
"I...I didn't know...it...I mean..." Kaoru swallowed hard. "You have
to believe me...I didn't want it to happen either! But if it
didn't..."
"If it didn't...?" Kaji growled. "You sound just like Gendo."
Kaoru shook his head, still stunned by the news. "I...I didn't expect
it to happen this soon...there's something wrong. SEELE knows
something I didn't expect them to figure out."
Kaji snapped. The way the Sensei was taking this was too...eerie. It
was like listening to Gendo. It was like watching Gendo. Hell, even
those bastards glasses seemed to fit. He always hated those fucking
glasses.
"Yeah...they figured out you were just another Gendo." Kaji said,
lining up his weapon once again. "Another fucking puppet-master." He
clicked off the safety.
Kaoru blinked, looking up as if he just noticed the gun.
"Kaji...please...don't do this..." he shook his head...his voice calm.
"It's not too soon. We can still save them..."
"You're a fucking puppet-master...controlling us...even Gendo was
impressed...I see that now." The gun stopped shaking and he closed his
eyes.
Kaoru cringed.
"All I have to do is cut your strings."
BOOM!
KRACK!
The guard outside the cell never heard a thing, though, as he was cut
in half by the A.T. Field.
The First Child
---------------
The smell of LCL was beginning to disgust her. But...when all was said
and done...it was the only thing that truly comforted her.
She hated it.
Why couldn't it be the Commander? One who showed her so much love in
the past. One that was always there for her...one that gave her reason
to be.
She hated being a reason. Nothing more.
Rei Ayanami was out of tears for the first time in her life. It had
always intrigued her at how people would just stop crying, even if the
reason they were sad was still there. Even if it came back again and
again. They would stop crying eventually.
She had always thought it was because a person could get used to pain.
Familiar with it. Almost...comfortable...with it.
She was wrong.
The sounds of the rape still haunted her. Still burned her eyes as
they tried to produce more tears. But she could no longer cry. She
could no longer react as she imagined herself being there...instead of
Asuka.
When it first started, she wished she was there instead.
But...then...the impact of what was happening hit her. That she had
been there.
So many times.
Not all were bad memories. She remembered the comfort of being held
for the first time. Confused and disjointed...just after her 'birth'.
How the doctors would force needles into her...how every drink she took
and bite of food made her drowsy when it should have made her strong.
How her mind was forced open with those things. How her soul was tied
with metal string in an effort to attach her to Eva.
All of it, rape.
Even if she was still pure in the sense of the Body...so was Asuka.
When Asuka had shouted the word, Rei gasped. She never connected it to
herself before. Even Gendo...though she knew rumors must have existed
with the others...had never done what she knew as rape to her.
Sometimes...maybe...she thought he might have. But the softness in his
eyes always took over when Rei worried about it.
She liked the soft eyes. They were nice.
He always tried to hide them...but Rei could see them. Not much
lately...but the memories were strong in her mind.
But they were also the eyes that forced her to do things she didn't
want to. And now, she saw why they had been so soft for her.
He felt bad for Rei. Not all the time...but enough to not actually,
physically...
Rei curled up in her tank of LCL. The gentle heartbeat of the world
around. She had not known. She hadn't known that there were other
kinds...other kinds of violation.
She could not cry anymore. But she had found out how to fight back.
Accidentally...
Tonight...
Just once...
Just enough...it was enough to distract the Angel. For it to pause
it's attack the split second Rei needed.
If she had not...Asuka's mind would have died with the Angel.
Rei floated in the LCL.
She closed her eyes against the pain and tried to remember something
else.
It took her a moment...but she finally did.
And that's why she started to hum Ode to Joy once again.
The Knight and Damsel
---------------------
The apartment was pitch black.
Dead.
The sounds of sobbing had long since disappeared from the air inside
Misato's room. She had tried...valiantly...to be there for her
Children.
She had failed, and the only comfort she could find was sleep.
Shinji couldn't blame her. He had promised to stay up with Asuka all
night. Misato didn't even thank him, not wanting to face either of the
pilots right now.
They had collapsed together on the floor. Shinji holding Asuka up in
his arms. A blanket around the two kept Asuka from shivering too much.
She still shivered so much, though. Too much to sleep.
"Shinji..." she whispered.
"Hai?"
"Don't leave me..."
"Hai." He whispered back. It had been the ninth time she requested him
to stay that hour...but Shinji never minded answering again. He would
stay with her if the floor broke and they fell to their deaths right
now.
"Shinji...?"
"Hai?"
"I don't want...to feel like this..." she said softly.
Shinji blinked. "Hai." He was actually a little surprised. She
hadn't said anything except his name and 'don't leave me' for the last
several hours.
"I want to tell you." She said.
"Asuka...?"
"About what the Angel showed me." She whimpered. "I want you to know
too..."
"No..." Shinji said, suddenly scared. "Please, Asuka...you don't ever
have to..."
"Shinji..." she said suddenly, looking up at him. "I...I refuse to let
that Angel be the only...thing...that knows." She said softly. "I want
the man I love to know too. It's the only way."
"But you were hurt by it..." Shinji whispered. His cheek becoming wet.
"I won't get better by being alone..."
Shinji looked away from her. "But you won't hurt more...if you don't
tell me."
Asuka shook her head. "Shinji...I've already made up my mind." She
said softly. The calm in her voice was shaky, but apparent. "If I
can't tell you, then that Angel takes the most important thing I've
ever known."
Shinji shuddered, but nodded his head slowly.
"You...you disobeyed your father to hold me..." she said.
"Please...don't leave me now...not when I need you to listen."
He nodded...then turned his eyes back to hers, gaining strength from
her gaze. Her eyes were so beautiful...even when half lifeless. He
begged it was because she loved him; and that she knew that's why he
would listen.
"I will listen, my love..." he nodded again, this time with voice. "I
promise."
She sat up in his arms...their hands entwined. Asuka began to tell
him. Everything. About her mother...her father...the Project.
Everything. How she grew cold when it came time to weep. How her
Father and Stepmother became a family, leaving her alone.
And she told him how her mother died.
And why she could not cry at the funeral. How the image of her mother
hanging there...doll in hand...how it had been burned into her mind
with such force that she had...for a moment...wish it killed her.
Maybe her mother hoped it would.
Shinji cried as she told him how she could still remember the smell of
her mother's death. How sometimes she could smell it, even around him
and Misato. How Rei seemed like how her mother wanted. How Rei was
such a doll...
And how proud Asuka was that she was wrong...that Rei was not. And she
was not. That part had surprised Shinji a bit, but he said nothing,
waiting for her to finish.
It took most the night. Between sobs and times they could only hold
each other for support.
And...it took longer...when Shinji told Asuka about his mom.
Everything as well. How his Father threw him down at the moment he
needed a Father most. The years...years...of being alone. But not by
choice.
Asuka listened with wet cheeks, crying during the parts Shinji could
remember about having to walk home from Cello practice every week as
his classmates tried to be friends...offering him rides with their moms
and dads.
But Shinji had been too smart to ignore the pain from those offers.
Always a bright boy...but needing to hide from the pain.
They met somewhere in the middle. Both after crying...neither sure if
the story was theirs or their companions. It seemed too much the same.
Just names and dates were different. Cellos replaced Violas. Ripped
monkey dolls replaced SDAT.
Somewhere, that night, they met for the first time in their lives.
They lay with each other for an hour. Just breathing. Unable to talk.
Unable to cry. Unable to feel. Just...together. That was all they
needed.
"I need to pee..." Asuka whispered.
"Me too." Shinji smiled softly. "You go first. I'll stay here."
She shivered and shook her head. "No. Come with me."
He was about to protest, but she held onto him so tightly that he
couldn't move. "Okay..."
They stumbled together to the bathroom. It was surreal, Shinji
thought. He wasn't really uncomfortable as he stood next to Asuka as
she took off her panties and sat on the toilet. It was a little
awkward since she kept her arms hugged around his waist, but it wasn't
that bad. It was easier for him, since he could stand up during the
ordeal. Asuka just watched him go with a calm expression on her face.
She looked up at him.
"Shinji?"
"Hai?"
A tear escaped down her face. "I feel dirty."
Shinji hugged her tightly. "How can I help?"
"I need a bath." She looked down. "I don't want to be alone."
He nodded. "Okay..."
"I'm sorry...I know this is uncomfortable..." she looked away. "You
must think me horrible."
"No." he said, looking into her eyes. "A bath cleanses the mind and
soul. I want to help. I don't want you to feel dirty."
The bathroom seemed too small for two people, but they were hardly two
people right now. He ran the water for her, then began to help undress
her completely.
Asuka looked so pale under her clothes. Everywhere. He wished it was
warmer in the tiny room. It was a moment until the steam from the bath
helped, though, and Asuka stopped shaking as much, holding her arms
over his for warmth. Shinji thought nothing of her using him like a
blanket around her body.
Despite the strange calm around them, he did experience a brief moment
of panic as she turned around and started unbuttoning his shirt. She
looked up at him, though, in such a way that all the fear in his mind
melted back to tranquility.
"You'll get wet, silly..." she whispered.
"Hai..."
She nodded, then kneeled down to undo his pants. His belt already gone
from using the toilet. Once he was just in his shorts, she stopped,
then turned back around and let him lead her into the water.
Asuka sank in the water slowly. It seemed a bit hot, but she never
complained. She held onto his hand the entire time, squeezing him
gently so he wouldn't worry as she submerged her head. He watched
calmly, waiting without worry. Any other time, he would have worried
she would have drowned herself.
She came back up with a soft gasp, rewarding his trust with a soft kiss
on his nose. "Thank you..."
"You're welcome." Shinji whispered back.
"Come in?"
"Okay."
The water spilled out of the tub for a moment, but soon they were
laying together, under the water except for their heads nuzzled next to
each other.
"Do you still feel dirty?" Shinji asked as the water began to cool.
"No." Asuka yawned, but then hummed softly against him. "Not anymore."
"Are you still...sad?" Shinji asked...voice just above a whisper.
"Yes." She admitted just as quietly. "But I can get better...I
promise..."
"Me too." Shinji said, tracing a gentle circle on her arm with his
finger.
There was a slow wave of motion around them as Asuka sat up...then
turned around so she was facing him again...leaning over him.
"Shinji?"
"Hai?" he blinked, then turned away when he saw Asuka's eyes.
"Asuka..."
She shook her head. "Shinji..."
He looked back over to her slowly. "Y...I...We shouldn't...not after
what happened today..." he sighed, looking up at her with pleading
eyes.
"No." she shook her head. Her hair was wet, and it draped across his
shoulders as she inched forward. "Don't ruin what we are right now by
reminding me."
He looked up and swallowed hard as Asuka planted a very soft...very
warm kiss on his lips.
"I want to be with you." She whispered. "The Angel took so much from
me..." she shook her head. "But, Shinji...I want to give you that.
And more. Things the Angel could never take. Things that Eva can't
take. Things that nobody can take...that only I can give."
"I want to give you myself too..." Shinji whispered back.
"Tonight."
"Tonight."
"Now."
"No."
Asuka blinked as Shinji stood up, then helped her out of the bath.
When she questioned him with her eyes, she was a bit surprised to see,
instead of a worried expression on his face...a calm smile.
"I hear water isn't the best for making love in." Shinji said timidly.
Asuka blinked, then smiled and hummed against his lips. "Okay..." she
paused then grabbed a towel to wrap around them. "Your room or mine?"
"Whatever's closer..."
"Yours..."
"Hai..."
It was a bad day. The worst that she had ever known. But Asuka's only
salvation was Shinji's love. They both wished it could have started
differently. Without an Angel Attack to spur it. Without pain and
hate involved. But one thing they would both remember was that it was
without regret, and fueled by love.
That made the night theirs, and shielded them from the bad day.
Shivering hands became sure and comfortable as they lay down on the
covers. While neither had done it before, it became familiar and
natural almost immediately. The pain Asuka felt was nothing compared
to the bad memories, and she only accepted the feeling of joining with
him.
The night passed slowly...deliciously slow. The only sounds made were
echoed in each other as they kissed. They moved together, both in mind
and body, and arrived together as if they had been practicing all their
lives.
It ended with the dawn of the new day...the sun just barely taking
notice over the rooftops as Shinji pulled the blankets of their bed
over their bodies. Asuka still wrapped around him, and Shinji still
joined with her.
They curled up together that morning, angels in each other's minds and
hearts.
Real ones.
End of part 4
=======================================================================
Welcome to the end of the Collected Editions #4! Probably the craziest
mix in Higher Learning yet. Mostly due to time. I would like to thank
you all for hanging in there as my lazy ass tries to write. Oddly
enough, it's not really my fault. Free time is next to nothing lately,
as every time I have some, there is something to occupy it. However, I
am back from my vacation from Philadelphia, and should be able to buckle
down and kick out the last 10 or so Lessons quickly. (famous last words,
neh?) Anyway, I'm very grateful for all the comments and e-mail I've
been getting, even if I can't guarantee a response within a week's time,
I CAN guarantee I DO read them, and I thank you all for taking the time
to send in comments. Especially on Lesson 40, as it was a bitch to write
without it crashing and burning. ^_^
Stay tuned. This mutha's gotta wrap up soon, so you know it's goinna be
a kick ass ride. ^_^
e-mail: strikef@bigfoot.com
homepage: http://www.studioshinnyo.com
mirror 1: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110
Strike Fiss, Studio Shinnyo 2001. Khattam-Shud, EOF. (
geocities.com/Tokyo/9110) (
geocities.com/Tokyo)