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Ch. 9: Hope
The Returner hideout was a large natural cave. On the inside, however, the original cave had been hollowed out and extended by hand. It was almost like a small town, with an amazing amount of furnishings, a sleeping area, and even an item merchant.
A guard just inside the entrance saluted as they stepped in. "King Edgar! This way, please." The group followed the man carefully, letting their eyes adjust to the darkness. Locke assisted Terra up the rough stone stairs, and Sabin caught her when she misstepped and fell backwards.
They passed through a large room with a meeting table to the left, surrounded by chairs. The guard stopped just outside an entrance carved out of the rock and covered with a makeshift wooden door. He stood aside, and they passed through.
The group found themselves in a slightly smaller room, but still rather large and much more furnished than the rest of the cave. A desk and chair stood in one corner, while a rather ugly golden statue stood in another. Two bookshelves were pushed against one wall. A threadbare red cloth that served as a carpet covered the center of the floor.
In the middle of the room stood an old man, his back to them. He had long white hair and wore a yellow robe with green trimming. He made no move as they entered, and the group stopped a few feet behind him.
Edgar stepped forward. "Banon! We brought the girl with us," he said.
The old man stirred at Edgar's voice. He faced them and glanced over everyone. His gaze finally settled on Terra. Banon walked up and stood in front of her, silently looking into her eyes for a few moments. "Is she the girl who can talk to Espers?" he asked.
Terra seemed unable to break the gaze. She stood almost fascinated, but the spell was broken when Banon spoke. The woman frowned slightly. "Espers?" she asked no one in particular.
"Yes," Edgar replied to Banon. "It seems the Empire had complete control over her..."
Terra took a step backward and bowed her head, somewhat ashamed at hearing her own history. Did they know so much about her, then? She shook her head. If only she could remember...
Banon walked away. "Carrier pigeons brought word that she wiped out 50 of the Empire's best soldiers in a few minutes," he said, keeping his back to them. "She did it very efficiently, too. Perhaps she herself wanted to cause such havoc and destruction?"
Terra's head snapped up at Banon's words. "That's a lie!" she exclaimed fervently. She was shocked to hear it. Could she really have done such a thing? She felt faint. She staggered to the desk and steadied herself against it. Had she caused that much death? She could not remember...but the extent of the destruction sickened her so much that for once she was glad she had lost her memory.
Locke hurried to her side. "Terra..." he said softly.
The king glanced at the two, then turned back to the old man. "Banon! She doesn't remember ANYTHING! They used a Slave Crown and took her memory as well..." He moved toward Banon, but the old man's voice stopped him.
"Stay where you are!" he ordered sharply. He swiveled around, his eyes dark, his manner forbidding. The others could only stare in shock at the change that had come over the old man. Terra still faced away, her hands still clutching the table.
Banon slowly advanced toward the sorceress, his voice harsh as he spoke. "Perhaps you've heard this story?" he began. "Once, when people were pure and innocent, there was a box they were told never to open. But one man went and opened it anyway. He unleashed all the evils of the world: envy...greed...pride...violence...control..."
Terra slowly faced Banon with sad eyes. Was he telling her that she was like that man, that she had somehow opened the box and released the evil into the world? Perhaps that was why Edgar and Locke thought that she could help; she had released evil, now it was her responsibility to box it up again.
Banon looked at Terra's piteous face and his own softened. He went on in a kinder voice. "All that was left in the box was a single ray of light: Hope." A small smile appeared on his face, the kind of smile a mother gives her child when she knows he is trying his best to do something, but not quite succeeding.
"We now confront those evils..." Banon's eyes wavered, and his voice dropped. "And you are that last ray of light, our only hope..."
"Banon!" Edgar's voice was faintly admonishing, afraid that such a burden would frighten Terra away from the very thing they were trying to convince her to do. He jerked forward, torn between comforting Terra and confronting Banon. The older man's slow movement arrested his own.
He looked at Edgar, then closed his eyes and turned away. He suddenly felt all of his 80 years, and his head drooped. "I'm so tired," he said softly. "Let me rest awhile..." Worn from expending his emotion and the hope that had risen within at the sight of the girl, he walked slowly out of the room as the four gathered somberly behind him.
Terra slept fitfully. Dreams, dreams, and more dreams...or were they real? Was she really here? Had she been a soldier of the Empire? She burrowed her face further into the pillow, hoping to stifle away all the problems, all the questions, all the misery...But she couldn't do so, no, not knowing what she did now...and not while there were so many things she still didn't know.
She threw the covers off and swung her legs out of the bed. When she stood up, she saw Locke in a dim corner of the room, his face to the wall.
"Locke?" she asked warily, afraid she was disturbing him. "Are you okay?"
He turned his head slightly at the sound of her voice, then he fully faced her. He gave a wan smile. "I'm fine," he replied. "I was just thinking..." Locke's eyes glazed over slightly and his voice softened as he spoke. "Someone I loved was jailed by the Empire. I've hated the Empire ever since..." A few moments of silence passed, and Terra looked at him carefully, her eyes sad. Finally his look cleared. "I joined the Returners when I realized the Empire was rotten to the core. I wanted to make a difference."
The woman turned away. "She must have been very important to you," she said softly. "I had a feeling something like that happened. But..." She shook her head. "I have no 'significant other'...Is that what it takes to have a purpose in life?"
He shook his head. "No...it's strong emotion, whether it be for a person, or for a cause in which you believe. There may be an outside catalyst, but ultimately, your inspiration must originate from within."
She bowed her head. "I don't understand..."
"You will in time." He patted her shoulder. "The only advice I can give you is not to keep your feelings inside. You may not yet know which way is right, but others can help direct you. Talk to people. I think Edgar's in the other room, if you'd like to speak to him."
Terra gave a half smile. "Edgar? You think he could help?"
Locke chuckled. "For all his womanizing, he takes his responsibilities very seriously. He has a good head on his shoulders." Locke gave her a tender look. "Just remember, there are people who feel *you're* important to them! They are counting on you." He smiled, and Terra felt better.
She walked out of her room and ventured around the hideout. Torches in alcoves gave out faint light, and she could see crates of supplies piled up against the walls. The main room had in one corner a counter that sold Cure potions and many other items. She passed through and entered the room where they had originally met Banon.
Edgar was the only one in the room now, pacing back and forth, sometimes stopping and staring down at the floor. He looked up and smiled as Terra came in. "What's up?" he asked.
She gave him a doubtful smile of her own. "Locke suggested I talk to you."
He gazed at her. "You're not sure, are you?"
She blinked. "About what?"
"Joining the Returners."
She shrugged. "I thought there was no question about that. I will join. I'm ready to help."
Edgar gave her a direct look. "That's what you say...but that's not what you feel in your heart, is it?"
Terra sighed. "I...suppose not..." She shook her head confusedly as she tried to explain. "It's just that...well, you and Locke and Sabin have a reason to fight. You feel passionately toward your cause. But I..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm just a person with magical powers who doesn't know her own history, who doesn't understand what the Empire wants. I'm just someone who's running away from what she doesn't know and doesn't know what she's running to!" She buried her face in her hands as a sob escaped her.
"No...no, don't think that!" Edgar came to her and took her arm gently. "It's true that you may not know what the future holds or what your purpose is. You've had to go along with this blindly from the start. You had to put your trust in people you'd just met, rely on them for information." His voice was gentle. "Terra, I know you're trying to find yourself. And I'm truly sorry you found yourself in this situation. But if you take a moment and listen to your heart, it will tell you the right thing to do."
For awhile the woman made no move. Her hands fell away, but she remained with head bowed. Edgar stood silent, ready to answer any questions she might have.
Finally she lifted her face. "You do need my help," she said simply.
"Yes, we do." He sighed. "But no matter how much we need you, we won't force you. It's gonna be tough to talk you into helping us...If we push you too hard, we're no different than the Empire. So we want you to make up your own mind." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Think about it, and give your answer to Banon."
Terra stood still. She looked at him, and he nodded. Slowly she walked out of the room.
As she re-entered the main room, she saw Sabin standing by the counter, his eyes closed. Terra walked carefully arou Ưnd him, but he opened his eyes and asked, "Having a look around?"
Terra started. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean to disturb you."
He waved it off. "You're not disturbing me." He gave her a keen look. "How are you?"
"I'm...okay."
But her hesitation told him otherwise. He dropped his normally macho manner in favor of a fatherly one instead -- a manner much like his Master's. "You're uncertain about something. What's wrong?"
She sighed. "Traveling the path to the depths of your soul is a very wearying journey."
The man smiled and dropped his head slightly. "That sounds like something my Master Duncan would have said..." He looked at her again. "And what is it that is taking your strength on the journey?"
"Just trying to figure out what to do." Terra shrugged. "I've talked to Locke and Edgar, and they both say that I have the choice whether to fight with the Returners. Edgar says to listen to my heart...and I've tried. It's telling me something, but I don't understand what it is..."
Sabin nodded. "I've felt like that before...The only thing I can add is that you can trust my brother implicitly. He's always been fair with me." He chuckled, then sobered. "I know I ran out on Figaro, but Edgar is a good man, and a fair king. Perhaps he did the job better than I could have ever done, but we'll never know. And I don't regret my decision. You can trust him, Terra..." Then he grinned and exclaimed, "But don't you DARE tell him I said that!" He threw back his head and laughed heartily. Terra managed a weak smile.
She wandered restlessly. Without really knowing where she was going, she found herself at the entrance to the hideout. She timidly approached the sentry, who smiled and asked, "Are you looking for Banon?" Terra nodded. "He went outside a moment ago." He moved aside and let her pass.
Banon stood looking out across the Sabin Mountains. He heard the slight movement behind him, and he turned a haggard face towards the woman. She stood beside him. "Have you made a decision?" came the old man's quiet voice. "Will you become our last ray of hope?"
Terra remained silent. Somehow she could not form the word. She simply shook her head.
When she stumbled back into the darkness of the hideout, the image she carried with her was of Banon's face, how hopeful he had been, and how deeply disappointed his expression was after her refusal. Wanting to be alone, she climbed the stairs to a room she hadn't entered before.
Terra slumped against a stack of wooden boxes and closed her eyes. Her whole body and soul seemed completely drained. She was so lost in thought that she was startled to hear a soft rustling. Her head jerked up immediately and she saw a Returner close beside her.
She scrambled up. "I...I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't think anyone else was in here."
The man shook his head. "It's no problem." In fact, he was glad he had seen her. All the Returners were whispering about the strange sorceress who was still deciding whether help them. Banon had told them that under no circumstances would they force her cooperation. Some were against her presence, saying that she
was probably an Imperial spy and would wipe them all out. He himself had been of that opinion, but now...He'd glimpsed the piteous look on her face and had known instinctively what her answer to Banon had been. He sensed her inner turmoil, and he felt sorry for her. What a horrid feeling it must be to be misunderstood...He wished there were something he could do to comfort her and persuade her to join them.
He smiled gently. "I understand your unease. But even as we speak, innocent lives are being lost..." He shut his eyes against the memory of his wife and young son, trapped in their house as Imperial soldiers laughingly set in on fire and watched it burn to the ground... "Please. We need your abilities. This relic will keep you safe."
Terra looked puzzled at the small item he deposited in her hand. She looked at him enquiringly. "It's a Genji glove," he said. "The others will know what it does." He placed a hand on her arm. "We truly need your help!"
The woman looked into his watering eyes, and her own began to swim with tears. "I...thank you," she whispered so softly he could barely hear. Quickly she turned and walked rapidly away.
Terra stopped just inside the entrance. She leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. Staring at the relic still in her hand, she closed her eyes, then hung her head. One word came to her mind, the one that had caught her attention throughout.
"Hope..." she murmured. How strange the word felt on her lips. "How...how can anyone put their hope in me?" What was she, after all? How could they have such hope in someone they barely knew, someone who was so destructive? She had had hope, too...hope that the Returners would somehow be able to help her find out who she was.
Espers...what was that about Espers?...A tantalizing memory flitted through her mind, then was gone in an instant. Terra jerked her head up. What was it she had seen...a land so different from this one, yet strangely natural to her. She walked slowly further into the cave.
Suddenly a yellow blur burst through the door of the hideout. She quickly turned around and heard Banon yell, "What's going on? What's happened?" as he flew into the cave. His tone frightened Terra.
A man staggered in after Banon. He limped a few feet, then fell. Terra stepped back, aghast at the man's wounds. Roused my Banon's shouts, the other Returners came running up and crowded into the area. Locke, Sabin, and Edgar followed. One man knelt beside the fallen Returner, trying to make him more comfortable as he gasped out his news.
"S...South Figaro...E...Empire...took Figaro..." the man wheezed, and Edgar felt his blood freeze. "Coming...this...way..." His breath failed.
Banon wheeled to face the rest of the group. "They've found us! We have to get out of here now! We haven't a moment to lose!"
Edgar turned to the other two men. "Locke!" he began.
The other man nodded. "I know," he said, "'someone' has to sneak into South Figaro and slow the Empire down, right?"
The king nodded. "This is right up your alley. Good luck!"
Locke gave a curt nod, then stopped beside Terra as he left. "Terra...please wait for me," he said. "And, please..." He paused.
"What is it?" the woman asked with concern.
With a swift glance at Edgar, Locke said, "Don't let a lecherous young king, who shall remain nameless, near you!"
Edgar was appalled. "LOCKE!!" he shouted. He moved threateningly toward him, but the other man was off with a grin. Terra couldn't keep from smiling, either. The king scowled at Locke's retreating figure.
His twin frowned and shook his head. "Big brother...Aren't you EVER going to grow up?" he demanded.
Banon's sharp voice brought them back to the needs of the moment. "Stop that, you two!" he exclaimed. "What're we going to do?"
Edgar turned to him. "We'll escape down the Lete River an d make our way to Narshe. I want to see that Esper for myself."
The older man nodded. "Right. There's a raft by the back entrance. It's a gamble, but we're fresh out of options..."
Edgar faced Terra next. "You're in danger here," he said. "Come with us to Narshe. You'll probably even gain some understanding of your own abilities..."
She nodded sadly. The choice was out of her hands now.
"We've no time to dilly-dally," Banon said. "Let's make for Narshe!"
They quickly gathered supplies while Banon gave the other Returners orders. "We'll handle things here," one man assured him.
Banon led them to the back exit of the hideout. On the way, they checked on the wounded messenger, who was bandaged and resting. A Returner told them of the underground caverns along the Lete, which he said were free of monsters and safe to rest in. Another man said softly to the twins and Terra: "You must protect Banon at all costs. If he falls, your journey's over..." The three promised to watch over the old man carefully.
They went through a narrow passage and came out into the daylight to find themselves standing on a small ledge. A few feet below them flowed the Lete River, its waters gushing strongly. The raft was tied to a thick stake that had been pounded into the ground.
Sabin jumped on first, landing squarely onto the raft, which bobbed at his weight. When the raft steadied, he turned to give Terra a hand, but Edgar was already helping her onto it. His twin's eyes narrowed slightly. Banon followed them. Edgar deftly whipped the rope over the stake, and the currents began carrying them to the east.
Terra's gaze lingered on the Returner hideout. As it disappeared from view, she faced forward and sighed. Although she knew she had been in Narshe before, she could not remember anything much about it. Once again she was heading off into the unknown.
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