Choices
By Erin Lee
Brilliant sunlight burst through the heavy clouds, a final confirmation that the menace was over. Optimism bloomed for the first time in a decade, and even those who had not known the full stakes at hand walked lighter. All, that is, save one. A young girl cradled a still form in her lap, an island of grief alone admist the sea of celebrations.
The girl knelt, numb to the voices of the outside world, her mind dazed as she tried to make sense of the bizarre events that had just occurred. She gazed at the peaceful body lying before her, a boy who would now never know how she had felt for him.
Erin felt hollow inside, which surprised her. She knew she should feel something; sorrow, perhaps, for he had been her best friend -- no, that was a lie. It had been something more, a fact that she could only now admit. A single tear freed itself from her eye and sought it's way down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail to mark it's passing. As if to pay tribute to the pair who had saved Earth from destruction, the world around her drifted to silence. Fog - or was it tears? - clouded her vision, rapidly obscuring the world until she could barely see.
Footfalls emerged from the mist, soft rustlings of cloth shoes against stone. Erin did not look up, but choked out, "Please... go away. I need to be... alone." She knew how ragged she probably appeared; and that one of her friends at MRA-SEGO had come to console her. However well-meaning they were, though, she wanted solitude.
A hand lightly rested itself on her shoulder. She slowly raised her eyes, if only to address the person by name when she told them to leave. Her eyes followed the delicate hand, up the arm, and to a kindly face. Erin frowned; she couldn't place this woman, and although she was nowhere near her best, she was sure she would remember a woman with blue eyes, blue hair, and, most strikingly, three small blue marks adorning her face: tiny triangles, one under each eye, and a long, thin diamond on the stranger's forehead.
"Who are you?" she finally asked.
"I am a goddess," came the simple reply.
Erin stared a moment in shock, then laughed hollowly, letting her pain show. "Very funny. Taya is dead and now I'm going insane." She curled up into a ball, arms wrapped around her legs. "Even my own mind is playing tricks."
The 'goddess' frowned slightly. "I assure you, this is no trick."
"So who are you, really? MiRA established a long time ago that if there were any Supreme Being, they would never interfere." Erin found herself asking involuntarily. */This is all the product of an overworked mind/* a small rational voice in the back of her head whispered. */Post-traumatic stress survivor's syndrome/*
"Ms. Lee, you realize you two just stopped the destruction of this planet?" At Erin's hesitant nod, the goddess continued. "Ten years of suffering of every living thing on this planet, lifted in one instant -- I suppose you would call me a 'manifestation of psychic energy released in gratitude'."
"If you can't bring him back to life, then please leave." What was left of Erin's patience was wearing thin.
"I can't do that, it is impossible," the goddess confirmed. "But I can do anything not prevented by the Laws of the Universe."
At that, Erin's tears slowed as she remembered what had happened, why her friend lay still before her instead of sitting back at Central, celebrating with the others.
She had snapped her helmet on, preparing to board the capsule that would take her to the Menace.
"You don't have to go!" Taya had pleaded.
"Yes, I do and you know it. Of all the people at MiRA, I have the best chance at stopping the Menace."
He had stepped closer, placing a hand on her arm. "I can't let you do this"
"Someone has to. If I don't...," she let the thought hang in midair, the implications obvious to them both.
Pressing his fingers to nerve centers on her arm, her friend's voice hardened. "I know. But if anything happened, I would never forgive myself. I'll go. Goodbye, Lee-megamisama," he stated formally, saluting.
She had wanted to stop him, but the pressure points he touched paralyzed her. Helpless, she had watched as he donned a flight suit identical to hers, then stepped into the capsule. */Ko-chan... don't do this! We already decided.../*
He had succeeded, of course. He defeated the Menace - but at the cost of his life. Erin's tears had finally stopped flowing, she knew what to do now. "Can you send me back through time?"
"Yes, but only to a time when you were or will be alive. In essence, your consciousness would be transferred."
"That's fine. Send me back to fifteen minutes before the Menace was destroyed."
Before the goddess could move to comply, the mists parted for a second time, interrupting her. A young man stepped out, but this person Erin recognized.
Taya.
True, she could almost see through the new arrival. True, her friend had never literally glowed, and certainly not floating three inches off the ground. Other than that, though, the figure was Taya in every respect, down to the rumpled creases on his red Chinese shirt, creases formed from working late at the Magical Resources Agency and which were impossible to get rid of.
"Please, don't. Forget about me; move on." Taya urged. "The goddess can do that. Why do you think I stopped you from going? If you go back, if you... get injured, then everything I've ever said or done for you will be for nothing. I... care about you. But you never said anything; and even if you had, you deserve someone better than me. I'm sure someday, you'll find someone. I envy that person." With that, the ghostly figure began to melt back into the mist.
Erin's eyes flashed, mostly from annoyance; even after Taya was gone, he still couldn't see what was in front of his face. "Baka. Why do you think I'm doing this? I know the risks, but it doesn't matter." Tears started again, retracing salty, half-dried paths. "Right now, it's a million times worse than when the Menace was here. Knowing I'll never see you again, never see your smile, hear your laughter..."
Taya's figure had stopped fading, his expression a mass of confusion. "But... why?"
"You never had the sense of a black piglet when it came to women, did you, Ko-chan? You're wrong -- I did say things, drop some hints. You just never picked up on them. I was afraid of how you'd react if I said anything too obvious. It's not like you were the king of communication, either." Erin sniffled, blowing her nose on her sleeve. Appearances didn't matter anymore. "Do you remember what you said? About never forgiving yourself if anything happened?"
Taya nodded once, quickly; as if by doing so, he could end the conversation and leave Erin free to forget.
"I can't go on, knowing I could have done something. It's the same choice you made." Surprisingly, Taya nodded, understanding. Erin turned to the still warm body in her arms, gently laying it on the ground. She took one last look, then stood up and addressed the goddess who had been waiting patiently the entire time. "I would like to go back, fifteen minutes before the attack." she asked; this time in a normal voice instead of the quivering, demanding one she had earlier.
The world flared a brilliant light green, blinding her.
Erin stood in front of the capsule again, disoriented at the sudden shift.
"Are you all right? You don't have to go." Taya pleaded.
"I'm fine," she stated in a tone that would take no refusal. She started to set her helmet into place when Taya's hand stopped her.
"I can't let you do this"
Erin knew what was coming, but decided to allow Taya to try and stun her, just to show how pointless it was. "Someone has to. If I don't..."
Pressing his fingers to nerve centers on her arm, her friend's voice hardened. "I know. But if anything happened, I would never forgive myself. I'll go."
"Sorry, but that won't work twice."
Taya's eyes widened as he saw Erin still standing, unaffected by the shiatsu technique. Then he noticed how she had shifted her arm so his fingers were nowhere near the critical locations. "How..."
"There's no time for that!" Her face softened. "Ko-chan, I know how you feel. But when I lost you, my life ended. You're not taking my place."
Even though Taya couldn't understand what his friend was talking about, he still reached a decision. "Fine. But I'm going with you." His gaze locked with hers, daring her to refuse him this one request.
Remembering the pain she had felt, Erin knew she couldn't inflict it on another. This way, at least they would be together whatever happened. "Thirty seconds. Then I'm leaving, with or without you."
The battle with the Menace was not going well. The capsule had been cobbled together in desperation, full of yet-untested equipment and Lenses. Half were off-line or smoldering, and the situation wasn't helped by the fact that two bodies were jammed into a space designed for one, with the equivalent oxygen reserve.
And worse, the Menace was not showing any sign of being affected by the tiny capsule.
*/Did I make a mistake coming here?/* Erin wondered. */Am I just in the way?/* Her eyes caught a quick blip on the capsules field sensors. She indicated the critical movement, yelling, "Taya, look!"
Her friend noticed, and immediately drew the same conclusion she had. "Finally! An opening!" He guided the capsule to take advantage of the weak point, but was concentrating so hard he failed to notice a large boulder streaking towards them, tossed by the Menace's ionic wind.
Erin, on the other hand, was free to observe. Time seemed to slow as she franticly grasped a set of controls added at the last moment, almost as an afterthought. */Easy... concentrate... Just one shot.../* She focused her thoughts on the rock, on the damage the Menace would do if not stopped, but most of all, her feelings for the other inhabitant of the capsule.
The capsule shuddered as two beams leapt from it; one blue, striking the Menace and suffusing before disappearing, taking it's target with it; the other, green with red streamers similarly striking the boulder moments before it would have crushed the oxygen tanks.
There was a stunned silence for nearly a minute, then Taya turned to look at her. "We did it."
All Erin could think of to say was, "Yes."
"Thanks for the save. Don't know what would've happened if you weren't here."
Am image of a girl, cradling a boy, sprang unbidden to Erin's mind. Tears tugged at her eyes -- but they were tears of happiness at what had *not* been. That world was a lifetime away. MRA-IDD might have a problem with the disruption of the timestream, but given the circumstances, they wouldn't object too heavily.
Erin smiled, and simply said, "Don't mention it."
Random notes that were not handed in:
Magical Resources Agency - InterDimensional Division
EGO - Earth Geomechanic Orchestration
S EGO - Superior Earth Geophysics Orchestration
IDD, EGO, & S(uper) EGO -- get it?
MRA is to regulate magical use: between dimensions (mirror), on an everyday level (everyday magic -- like mirrors), and in emergencies (not sure). I am making most of this up as I go along, so that is why it is not to coherent.
Yes, the goddess does look a lot loke Belldandy. I decided that the 'manifestation of psychic energy' would take on the mental image the protagonist had of a goddess, since she was directed at the character.
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