A LITTLE DISCLAIMER: Most of the characters appearing in this fic are the property of Yoshihiro 
                     Togashi, Studio Pierrot, Fuji TV, and Shonen Jump Weekly. 

Hiei hated going to the Ningenkai; "stupid humans still live there" being one of his many reasons for not going. There were only two things that could lure him out of the Makai: his sister, Yukina, who had chosen to fall in love with and marry the "stupidest" human of all - Kuwabara; and his beloved Kurama, who had been living as a human named Shuuichi for over 20 years. Kurama was living as a human since the time his youko spirit merged with Shiori's unborn child when he barely escaped the mortal injury he received from a Makai hunter. Hiei needed an expert thief to join him and another demon who were planning on stealing some artifacts from the forbidden treasure house and remembered the beautiful youko/human he chanced to meet when they were younger. Kurama knew of the treasure called the Mirror of Utter Dark and its power to trade one soul for another. Even in human form, Kurama was able to use a few of the many talents he had as a demon. When Kurama heard about the planned robbery, he joined up with Hiei so he could to steal the mirror for his mother, who was deathly ill at the time, and trade her soul for his.

Kurama had fallen in love with Hiei at first sight. Hiei was, to say the least, spellbound by this human-demon with the flaming red hair and intense green eyes. But having never felt or experienced any kind of love, he hid his feelings for some time. Kurama let their relationship slowly blossom into a deep and passionate love that had withstood many storms. How was he to know, then, that tonight's dinner would spark one of the biggest and most difficult storms of their lives?

While Kurama was fussing about in the kitchen of their tiny apartment, Hiei entered in his usual manner - through an open window. He silently slipped into the kitchen where Kurama was putting the finishing touches on a salad, making sure every olive and radish was in the right place.

"There!" he said, as the last crouton was meticulously placed on a perfect leaf of lettuce. Kurama stepped back to admire his culinary artistry.

"I told you not to fuss," came a deep voice from the darkened corner of the room.

"AAGUUH.....!" Kurama shouted as he dropped the crouton box, being startled at hearing Hiei's deep voice from behind him. Kurama clutched at his chest in an effort to breathe again and turned to looked at the fire demon.

"Gods, I HATE it when you do that! Are you trying to give me a heart-attack!" Kurama stammered, with wide eyes and just a bit of a smile.

"Hn," Hiei grunted. "It's not like you didn't expect me, is it, kitsune?" Hiei jumped off the table from which he had been sitting while watching Kurama and came over and gave him a tentative hug, resting his head on Kurama's chest. Kurama smiled as he hugged back, resting his chin on Hiei's spiky black hair. Kurama inhaled deeply - he loved the smell of Hiei when he just arrived from the Makai. The fresh smell of the outdoors and of pine needles always made Kurama think about his other life, the life outside of the Ningenkai where he was free to be the fox that Hiei loved so much. Hiei broke the embrace and stepped back, surveying the wreck that used to be Kurama's kitchen. Kurama had put so much effort into this dinner that pots and pans and plates were piled everywhere.

"Don't expect me to help clean up this mess," Hiei grumbled with a frown as he looked back up at Kurama.

"Of course not," Kurama replied. "Even though you live here I invited you to this special dinner. You don't have to do a thing - for now," he said with a mischievous grin and a sly look.

"Hn."

"Why don't you just make yourself more comfortable and have some sake, but not too much, dozo," Kurama scolded as he gently pushed Hiei by the shoulders out the door and returned to fussing about in the kitchen. He still had to set the low table and still hadn't found the candles he planned to use. "I don't want it to spoil your appetite, or do what it did to you last time." Last time Hiei had too much sake the fire department had to be called to put out the blazing garbage cans that lined the street outside. Hiei thought it would be fun to take some target practice, and well, one thing led to another.

"I'd be more comfortable in the Makai," Hiei grumbled to himself as he found the sake and cups laid out next to the sofa on a tray. As much as he grumbled about the Ningenkai and Kurama's attachment to too many "material" things, Hiei did appreciate good cooking. Makai meals tended to be whatever you caught that day. And although he would never admit it, Hiei once in awhile allowed himself such simple pleasures as a good meal or a nice hot bath when he came to their apartment. Their apartment was really Kurama's apartment. Kurama paid the rent from the part-time job he had while finishing graduate school at the University. Hiei could never understand why Kurama would spend so much time and effort on human studies when all his talents and abilities were already well defined in the Makai. He was the Makai's best and most feared thief, what else did he have to know? Hiei continued to grumble to himself as he drank down the first of too many cups of sake.

After a few minutes of final fussing - candle sticks found and all - the feast was ready, and Kurama carried the serving tray in like a proud parent. "Well, c'mon, it'll get cold," he said as he motioned to Hiei to join him. The woozy fire demon looked up from his third cup of sake and glanced at the table.

"Looks okay, I guess," Hiei said as he gave the food a tentative sniff, his compliments always appreciated, however small.

"Arigato gozaimasu," Kurama smiled as he sat down on the floor facing his lover. "I think you'll enjoy this. I tried to make all the things I know you like. Even some of the things Shiori makes that I know you like, too." He spread his napkin over his lap. Hiei copied what Kurama did, human mannerisms still a mystery to him.

Kurama, as usual, did most of the talking during dinner. He filled Hiei in on what was happening with Yusuke and Keiko since his last visit. He told Hiei about what new appliances Kuwabara had purchased for their house on the other side of town; about what he planned to do after he finished school in a few months...all of this going in one of Hiei's ears and out the other. Hiei listened, though, when Kurama began talking about Shiori.

"I think my kaasan's going to need me a lot more now that my stepfather's gone. I didn't realize how much there was to do. She really depends on me for so much. She's always telling me what a great son I am and how she couldn't get along without me, and..." Kurama's voice trailed off. He noticed Hiei had leaned back against the wall with his arms folded over his chest, a very foul expression darkening his face.

"What's the matter, Hiei? Is there something wrong? Wasn't the dinner good?" Kurama asked, trying to read his lover's stone expression.

"Everything's just fine," Hiei said sarcastically. "I'm glad your 'kaasan needs you so much." There was an awkward silence. Then Hiei looked down and said softly, "But I need you."

Kurama smiled cautiously at Hiei and leaned forward a little. "That's nice. And I need you, too."

"Do you?" Hiei said sharply as he reached out and grabbed the sake bottle off the table. He removed the cork and took a swig from the bottle. His words and actions startled Kurama. Kurama's eyebrows knitted together as he tilted his head. "Of course I do, Hiei. Why would you think otherwise?"

Hiei got up from the low table, taking the sake bottle with him, and went and sat over by the open window where he had entered earlier that evening. He hated sitting on the sofa - it was so human. "I sometimes wonder. You spend more and more time here. We never get any time in the Makai anymore," he grumbled as he took another swig.

"We're together there all the time," Kurama said, looking at Hiei's face, trying to understand where all this was coming from. "But with my stepfather gone Shiori needs me to be with her and help her out right now." Kurama rose to join Hiei by the window. He sat cross-legged on the floor looking up at his lover while Hiei leaned up against the window frame with one knee bent and the other leg dangling, the sake bottle resting on his knee.

"I don't think it's just right now, Kurama. I think you prefer to be here - with all these humans," Hiei said bitterly as he felt the sake affecting his thoughts and his speech. He looked at Kurama rather blankly. Was it the sake, Kurama thought, or was there a lot more to this conversation than he wanted to hear?

"Hiei," Kurama began, searching Hiei's face, "you know I'm part human. There's nothing I can do to change that. I became human long before I ever met you. And right now my human parent needs me. Why can't you understand that?"

Hiei was letting the sake take control of his feelings. Feelings. That's something else Hiei hated dealing with. He never had to worry about how he felt before he met Kurama. He considered emotions to be one of the worst weaknesses about being a human. In the Makai, Hiei could live his life in black and white. Kurama could live there with him, sleeping when they got tired, eating when they got hungry, making love whenever they wanted, wherever they wanted. Hiei had noticed that some of Kurama's "humanness" had started to spill over into the Makai. Kurama liked to stay in one place longer than Hiei did. He often brought some items from the Ningenkai back with him to the Makai saying he'd gotten used to using them and it was just easier. Kurama's youko form was even more emotional than any other demon Hiei had met, probably "tainted" by Shiori's affect on Shuuichi no doubt, Hiei thought.

"I just don't like coming here anymore, that's all. You have this ridiculous need to be around these stupid humans all the time. Maybe I'll just have to wait for them all to die off before I can get to see you alone," Hiei remarked cruelly. The sake had taken control.

Kurama sat up straight and glared at Hiei. The color left his cheeks and he started to tremble. "I'm going to forgive you, for the moment, because you're getting drunk. I know you wouldn't say such mean things to me or about my family if you weren't," Kurama said, as he snatched the almost empty sake bottle from Hiei's grasp.

"Maybe I haven't had enough sake *** to say what I really feel," Hiei snipped back, his speech now becoming slurred and his tongue much too loose.

"Just say what's on your mind then," Kurama said angrily through clenched teeth, staring at Hiei with shock and hurt. "You've been in a sour mood since you got here. I was just trying to make up for not being able to be together. Excuse me if I thought an evening alone counted as being alone together."

"That's another *** thing. Why couldn't we have gone to the Makai *** where I live. Why do we have to always come here?" Hiei said as coherently as he could. His head was starting to pound and he couldn't focus his eyes on Kurama's startled, albeit beautiful, face.

"You live here, Hiei. At least I thought you did. Don't we share everything here? Isn't this your Ningenkai home?" Kurama asked, totally confused at this startling revelation.

Hiei leaned back and stretched his arm out and pointed a finger in Kurama's face. "That's it. I don't wanna live here. I wanna *** live in the Makai!"

Kurama felt tears welling in the back of his eyes. He dreaded where this conversation was leading. "Don't make me choose, Hiei," he whispered as he looked down at the floor. "Please, don't make me have to choose." He felt his chin start to quiver - a trait he never had before he became a human.

"Well, it's not up to me, is it?" Hiei said very sarcastically. "I know what world I belong in." As he said the words, Hiei wished he could've taken them back immediately. Was he letting the sake talk out of anger and jealousy or did he really feel this way - even he didn't know. He closed his eyes and waited for Kurama's response.

Kurama felt as if his heart was being torn in two. He had hoped that he could magically make it all work out. That he could live in two places, in two worlds. That Hiei would happily join him wherever he was. That if they loved each other enough it didn't matter where they lived. All that came crashing down around him and he felt himself lose control.

As tears rolled down his cheeks, Kurama said in a choked whisper, "Please... don't make me choose..." He quickly got up and ran into the bedroom where he fell onto the futon and began to sob into his pillow.

Hiei leaned his head back against the wall with a thud. "I can't believe I just did that. I can't believe I have just hurt the only person in the Universe that I love and who loves me. Baka!" he said to himself. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. Baka! He suddenly felt very sick to his stomach and got up and raced to the bathroom just in time of lose all the delicious dinner Kurama had made for him just a little while ago. Listening to Kurama sob broke his heart for he knew he was the cause of all that pain.

Kurama cried very hard for a long time. He was deeply hurt by Hiei's lack of feelings towards his human mother, but he tried to justify it. Hiei was abandoned so how could he possibly understand a mother's love? But Kurama knew Hiei was capable of love. I know he loves his sister and would die for her, he thought. Why else did he have the Jagan implanted at such a risk if not to watch out for her? But his sister was in love with a human, and that drove Hiei crazy. What really hurt Kurama the most was Hiei's lack of understanding for the delicate balance that Kurama had to juggle everyday of his life. He loved being in the Makai as a fox with Hiei and he loved being in the Ningenkai with his human parent. Hiei was the Makai; Shiori was the Ningenkai. He had hoped Hiei loved him enough to be able to accept this impossible situation. There was no black and white solution to Kurama. How can he possibly choose?

After a long while, Kurama felt the tears begin to subside. His breath was still coming in little catches as he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He closed his tired eyes and sighed. As he opened them again, he glanced towards the bedroom window, noticing that the moon had risen and was bathing the room in a soft light. A romantic light. A light Kurama had planned to make love to Hiei in, but now...

Kurama thought he heard a noise coming from the bathroom so he propped himself up on his elbows and listened. Where was Hiei - did he leave? Kurama heard the soft sound of sniffling as he got up and walked quietly over to the bathroom door and looked in.

Hiei was sitting on the floor next to the toilet. His right elbow was resting against the rim of the bowl and his left knee was bent up. The fingers of his left hand were woven within the white starburst of his hair, his palm rested on his forehead over his Jagan, and his left elbow rested on his knee. It appeared to Kurama as if he'd been crying.

The kitsune slowly walked in and knelt down in front of Hiei. He looked at Hiei as the moonlight streaked in through the window and sparkled off the Koorime's damp eyelashes. Hiei brushed a tear away with his right hand before it could coalesce into a tear gem and continued to massage his head with the other. He had the most incredible headache.

Kurama tilted his head slightly, then touched Hiei on the knee.

"Been sick?" Kurama asked softly, not being able to hide his concern for his love.

Hiei nodded slightly. Any movement of his head sent daggers into his eyes.

"Can I get you something?" Kurama sniffled. "I think there's some ginger in the kitchen..." Kurama started to rise when suddenly Hiei grabbed hold of his sleeve, pulling him back down.

"Please," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. "Don't leave me." Kurama sat back down, this time very close to Hiei.

"I don't want to leave," Kurama said softly as he felt tears trying to return. He thought he had cried them all out but he was obviously mistaken for they threatened to flow again.

Hiei released his sleeve but kept his hand on Kurama's hand, lightly stroking his fingers.

"I did an incredibly stupid thing tonight," Hiei started.

"I'll say," Kurama said with another sniffle. "You drank way too much sake again."

"No, let me finish," Hiei said. "I said some things that I never should have said. I don't even know why I said them. I never should have even thought them. I really do - like - Shiori. I don't want her to die." Hiei couldn't bring himself to look at Kurama's face or into those haunting green eyes. He'd lose it for sure if he did.

"I don't know why I get so crazy sometimes," Hiei said as he raised his face to the ceiling, knitting his eyebrows together in an effort to think clearly. "I never had these kinds of feelings when I was alone in the Makai. I don't know why you put up with me the way you do."

"It's because I love you and need you more than anything in the world," Kurama gently replied, taking Hiei's hand into his. "I just need you to understand how it is for me." Kurama looked down at their hands, fingers entwined. After a moment, Kurama said softly, "I thought...you loved me."

"I do love you, Kurama. I really do," Hiei said, still not making eye contact with Kurama. "Kitsune, when I first worked you I had already heard about you in the Makai. Other demons warned me not to get involved with you. They told me that you couldn't be trusted because you were in it only for yourself. That you'd steal from a friend as well as an enemy. That you had countless lovers, the stuff of legends, and you were happy to keep it that way. I was expecting this - this DEMON!" Hiei paused, "And then I met you." Hiei finally dared to look Kurama in the face. "I met this incredibly beautiful person who was none of those things. Even when you were in youko form you never treated me like that."

"Hiei," Kurama began as he looked into Hiei's ruby eyes, "everything I have become is because of Shiori. She's the one who saved my life. I must honor her, if not for anything else, for that. But I was all those things you heard about, and for hundreds of years, before I became human. I stole from anyone if I wanted something. I don't know about the 'legend' part but I did sleep with anyone who showed the slightest interest because it was fun and noncommittal, and I used my looks to my advantage." Kurama took a deep breath and continued. "I was living only for myself, Hiei. Shiori taught me to love, and to care for someone else, and to be honest and open with my feelings. I guess my youko form absorbed all of those emotions because they are now a part of me and I can't help being like this with you, even when we're in the Makai."

Hiei closed his eyes and spoke barely above a whisper. "What I don't understand, kitsune, is why you love me..."

Kurama relaxed a bit, releasing Hiei's hand, and leaned back on his palms, still staring at the Koorime, who now was sitting cross-legged against the bathroom wall.

"You haven't a clue as to who or what you are, do you, Hiei?" Kurama said with the slightest chuckle. "You've let yourself be alone for so long you're still afraid to respond, even after all this time, with me."

"I don't know what you see in me, kitsune," Hiei said as he looked back down at his hand. "I can be so...so demanding..."
"Uh huh," Kurama replied.
"...and so angry..."
"Yes..."
"...and violent..."
"That's true..."
"...and so stubborn..."
"Definitely!"
"...and so... Kurama, you can jump in anytime, you know, and stop me!"
"Why? You were on a roll," Kurama said, smiling innocently back at Hiei. Hiei couldn't help but respond with "Hn."

Kurama moved back onto his knees so that he was face to face with Hiei and took his lover's small face into his hands. Hiei looked up at Kurama, feeling very warm and suddenly very ashamed. Kurama looked into his ruby eyes. "Hiei," he began softly, "we can't help who we fall in love with or even explain why so that it makes any sense." Hiei felt his eyes welling up with tears but there was nothing he could do to stop them. His heart was beating faster and he felt his breath quickening. He reached up and held onto Kurama's wrists. "I love you in spite of all the reasons you said before. But I also see a beautiful person who is loyal to the precious few friends he allows himself, who would die to defend his sister, who is incredibly brave, who's unbelievably sexy even though he doesn't know it, and who loves a human-demon who can't decide where he belongs, but knows it's anywhere his heart is." Kurama paused and looked deeply in Hiei's ruby eyes. "Hiei, you are my heart. I don't want to live anywhere that you're not." Kurama's chin was quivering again. *Dammit, why do I find that so incredibly sexy,* Hiei thought to himself as he felt a tear spill down over Kurama's fingers and plink on the tile floor as a black tear gem. "If you want," Kurama closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I'll live with you in the Makai and visit Shiori when you're away."

Up to this point, Hiei hadn't fully comprehended the depths to which his fox loved him. He did now. He realized the sacrifice Kurama was willing to make for him and it overwhelmed him. He threw his arms around Kurama and held him tightly, letting his soul pour out in tears onto Kurama's chest and soak into the fabric. Kurama leaned his head down on top of Hiei's head and stroked and kissed his hair, his own tears running down into the spiky black strands.

"I don't want you to do that," Hiei said when he finally was able to compose himself. "Your happiness is too important to me for you to leave this world if that's what's important to you. I know we can work something out," he sniffled.

Kurama took Hiei's chin, lifted it up to look at his wet face, and smiled. "I pledge to you, Hiei, that I will love you and cherish you for the rest of my life, no matter where we live. I make this pledge to you," Kurama looked around at their surroundings," in this bathroom, on this date."

Hiei gave a small chuckle as he roughly wiped his nose and eyes. "I accept your pledge," Hiei replied, smiling up at Kurama. "And I make the same pledge to you, in this bathroom, on this date, that I will love and cherish you no matter where we live," he sniffled "for the rest of my life." They both leaned back against the wall, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes.

"You know," Kurama said, clearing his throat as he wiped his nose on his sleeve with a sniffle, "it's funny we should be in the bathroom. That's where I planned on continuing our evening."

"Really?" Hiei said, raising an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well," Kurama said as he snuggled up to Hiei, putting his arms around his waist and leaning his head on his shoulder. "I had planned this wonderful bubble bath for us, with scented candles and everything. Then we would continue in the bedroom...."

"That bubble bath that makes those cool blue bubbles?" Hiei asked, looking down at Kurama with a sly smile on his face.

"Yup. Those are the ones," Kurama said as he went to get up but was quickly pulled back down. "But, I guess if you're not in the mood now..."

"I'll show you who's not in the mood, fox," Hiei remarked as he leaned down and kissed Kurama deeply on the mouth. Kurama closed his eyes and sighed. Then they slowly began to undress one another.