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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny,
but not particularly choosy people meet.






I waz 'ere
'ere I waz
Waz I 'ere
Course I waz






Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.






Cat's motto:   No matter what you've done wrong,
Always try to make it look like the dog did it






In lots of times
In lots of ways
Friends mean more
than words can say






Never kiss at the garden gate
Love is blind
But the neighbours ain't






I'm a little cabbage
Torn in two
My leaves I give to others
My heart I give to you






I luv U, I luv U, I luv ALMIGHTY
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie

Don't be mistaken,
Dont be mislead
I meant on the clothesline,
Not in my bed.






FACT:   Nine out of ten people like chocolate,
The tenth person always lies






Heavenly father full of grace,
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face.
Bless his hair that sometimes curls
Keep him safe from other girls.
Bless his hands that are so strong,
Help them stay where they belong.
Bless the one I want to marry,
Bless his child I want to carry.
Bless his legs that run so fast,
And bless his little sexy ass!






I wish
You wish
The wish
I wish






I love you
I always will
You gave me shit
I love you still
The day was kind
But you were cruel
I guess that's life
I was a fool
You think you're good
You think you're tough
So f*ck off now
I've had enough






ORAL SEX - AN ODE TO LOVE
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the f*ck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, yucky stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And whats your revenge, your on the rag.






Love is a gamble,
Life is a game
Guys do all the f*cking,
Girls get all the blame

One night of pleasure,
Nine months of pain
Three days in hospital,
Baby needs a name

Daddy is a bastard,
Mummy is a whore
The baby wouldn't be here,
If the condom hadn't tore!






*******The Top Ten Men!!*******
1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes"
2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you
want it teased or blown"
4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want
it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it
all in, you'll love it."
6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it
out too soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em"
8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in
the bush, shoots twice





THE CREATION OF A PUSSY
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and f*cked it,
and called it a cunt.






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