This year, 1999, regardless of the speed with which it passed by, is a collection of 12 months that will live forever in my mind, heart, and spirit as a crucial turning point in my life. I now look back on this year, and remember all that was said and done with a certain reverence as I type this out. Regardless of this, I cannot, no matter how much I would want to, live in the past and forever gloat about the glories or sulk about the disappointments of yesterday. The time is here to forge ahead. The opportunities to change the world as I know it are limitless. The culmination, the orgasmic high that humanity is so often seeking out, is nowhere in sight. In a way, that’s good. For me, I can never accept anything as done or perfect. We must always be moving forward, constantly challenging the limits as we know it.
There are those who say that on this night, when the clock strikes midnight, the world as we know it will come to an end, with either technological failure, an uprising of human terror, or the burning of a nuclear flame that would engulf the world. Sitting here, as I am, staring at this computer screen that may soon lose it’s electronic glow, I have no way of knowing, nor would I want to know what the future holds. Hell, I wouldn’t in my limited mortal capacity know what to do with that knowledge if I had it. That knowledge and active capacity is best left up to God and heaven above. Humankind has, tried to play at being some half-assed deity throughout the annals of our history, and their tinkerings usually end up with very dire consequences to not just them, but to the rest of us. In a nutshell, whatever will be will be. All I know is that God and Jesus both know that I have tried to live a good life in these 17 years on this Earth that I have been blessed with by both of them. At the beginning of this year, they heard me promise to make the most of the time we may have had left, and despite any setbacks I had along the way, I believe I have grown up a whole lot over the last few months. There are things that I did in the past that I regret and I look back upon in shame; The sins that I committed, the people that I wounded, the hearts that were confused or broken, and the friendships that drifted away; but in any event, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. For all the mistakes I made, I have gained invaluable knowledge and insight that has made me a better man, a better human being, a better Christian for it all.
The time that is left in this day is growing short. The sun shall soon be setting, and for the last time in the 20th century, I shall take a look back on this day, this life of mine. Whatever may occur upon this New Year’s Eve, whatever the future may hold for us, I go forward into unknown with the same reckless abandonment and the same optism and hope for the future. I place my utmost faith and trust in God, the heavenly father. Whatever he has planned for us, the members of the human race, I move towards the actualization of this century and this millenium with no expectations and no regrets. I go now into the sunset of this era, and face my destiny, as I continue my trek on the endless road known only as life. Thank you God, for this time, and I ask that you continue to guide my steps on the path that you have set before me. Amen.
And to the rest of you, whoever may read this, I pray that peace be with you all the days of your life, and I implore you to make the most of your time. To my friends, may your days be filled with happiness and good cheer. To my enemies, I hope that somewhere along the line, we can find some common ground upon which to stand and find brotherhood and unity. And to all of you, may your lives be a testament, a living scripture to all that is good in this world. Take it easy, people, and know that everything is in capable hands. Carpe Dium, Carpe Diem."
-Ben Melville.