The advent of the 21st century, as I witnessed this evening, was ushered in by fireworks spewing forth from the Tower of Americas and the bursts of brightly colored rockets in the night sky over San Antonio. Network helicopters swarmed across the city’s skyline like a swarm of enraged wasps as they tried to capture the moments of downtown’s seeming aerial eruption of hue and lights, as the echoes were carried towards the ears of humanity on the chilled midnight air.
This was my New Year’s Eve, the climax of the old that reverberated over the world on this night. I witnessed the arrival of this new age in the decadent surroundings of an Olmos Park mansion, wearing my finest clothes, and surrounded by perfect strangers for my company. The house was the homage to arched design, which majestically resided near the Olmos Dam. I had passed by this house many times on the highway with my Mother, and I often envisioned what awaited my entrance within. That sense of wonder is now gone. Upon entering the castle that had been set in the middle of elite suburbia, I could not help but feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness and detachment from the body of humanity as I knew it. I had been invited into a literal ivory tower that looked out over the municipality with seeming disdain for what lay below. That was just a start. The host, acting in good cheer, took us on a tour of the house that his family had been charged to care for in the owner’s absence. What I saw was an exercise in pure excess of useless and trivial crap. The house was filled with antiquities and assortments of “proof” that the owner had a sense of taste and worldly knowledge. I felt so small, following them through the corridors of this monolithic residence, listening with stupefaction as our host explained all of the points of interest. Yikes.
When most of the guests departed from the house, I sat down and breathed deep. The apocalyptic denoument that we as a race had lived in fear of, the electronic viral strain known only as Y2K, had left nary a mark upon the joy-filled world. I could not believe it. Planes and helicopters remained airborne. The city, the world glowed with the illumination of power. And all was a silent and peaceful calm, as joy filled our tiny green planet. I looked back on 1999, remembering how I questioned everything in my life, and sought to serve God by living the best life I could. I placed my faith, my hope, my trust in his divine hands, and he truly delivered us on that night. I could finally breathe easy again. My heart has ceased the calisthenics that were being performed in my chest cavity last night. Time to kick back and chill!
Yet, although I can relax, this doesn’t mean that my travels, my quest as spiritual and mental vagabond is at an end. That kind of tripe could not be further from the truth. I’ve said it before, and I’ll sure as hell will say it again. I strive to go forward in life, but I do not, nor will I ever want to seek out a single apex in my life. Too many people stop at a high point and call it quits right there. But I profess that I have come across many pinnacles in my time on Earth, they have served as instruments with which I am establishing a firm foundation for life. But I refuse to sit on my ass and gather dust at a single apogee. With the arrival of this, the new millenium, I renew my pact, my covenant to he who is most holy, God, my father almighty. With memories of times past still fresh in my mind, I again shoulder the load that I must carry and continue my pilgrimage across this crazy world. As God as my witness, I am still moving forward. As he watches from heaven above, I continue my ascent into the unknown with a song in my heart and bright hopes radiating from my soul. The time has come to continue to wage my personal jihad, my struggle in the name of God. It is not a struggle that I wage against humanity, against physical foes or prosaic popular culture. No, it is the most difficult battle that I have chosen to fight. I am waging a blitzkrieg, a lightning war, against my limits. I pursue not to achieve victory over municipalities or kingdoms, nor do I seek out some kind of fleeting mortal “divinity” found in money or material wealth. I seek to achieve a unique understanding of myself and the world around me. I seek out the ultimate freedom...peace of mind...peace of spirit...peace of heart...peace of body. I seek out heaven. With the sun making its daily ascension in the skies above San Antonio, the time is ripe. Let the journey into the new time begin. GO!