by schally:
YAEGASHI: Come to poppa, baby. They don't call me the pimp master for nothin'.
MOMIJI: You are so stupid! You idiot! Can't you do anything right?
KUSANAGI: I'm trying my best! Why are you so mean to me?!
KOUME: Ohhh... my mascara is running! *sob* And my dress is all wrinkled! Somebody take me home!
MOMIJI: Know yer role, bee-yatch! Nah-nah, nah-nah!
KUSANAGI: I'm ready to be examined, doctor. ::seductive smile::
MATSUDAIRA: Oh, Kusanagi... you naughty boy, you... ::snaps medical glove::
MOMIJI: God, I wish that Kusa-whatever-his-name-is would just leave me alone, already.
SAKURA: That tramp Momiji always gets the guys' attention. If only my breasts were as big as hers...
KOUME: Is that a GUN you've got there? Yuckie! Put that away before you shoot someone's eye out!
KUSANAGI: (to the tune of "Shaft") Who's the plant private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks?
MOMIJI, SAKURA, TAKEUCHI, KOUME, & KAEDE: Kusanagi!!!
KUSANAGI: Can ya dig it?
YAEGASHI: Does this dress make me look fat?
MURAUMKO: (singing) "All the girlies think I'm pretty fly, for a plant guy..."
KAEDE: Okay, which one of you jerks farted?
SUSANO-OH & MURAKUMO: ...
TAKEUCHI: Thanks for letting me borrow your bazooka, Koume. You should have seen Momiji's head when I hit her... it popped right off like a cork!
KUNIKIDA: I already told you, Kusanagi. I'm in love with Sakura. We're getting married soon and that's final. I'd appreciate it if you stopped calling me. It's over for us. We're through. *click*
MOMIJI: Die, Kusanagi! ::mercilessly beats Kusanagi::
MURAKUMO: Nooo! Kusanagiiii! Leave him alone, Momiji!
MOMIJI: Mwa ha ha heh. Me evil.
KAEDE: Human annihilation is just a hobby of mine. What I really want to do is become a world-famous idol singer.
SUGASHITA: Ryoko, I have to know the truth. Why don't you love me anymore?
TAKEUCHI: You're just not old enough, Sugi. I like old, ugly men who tell bad jokes. It's nothing personal.
KOUME: I fight for love and justice! I am the pretty soldier Sailor Koume! Tee hee! ::unloads grenade launcher into a Murakumo, who is wearing a bunny costume::
MURAKUMO: *squee!*
KUSANAGI: Murakumo and I are going shopping. There's a big sale at the Sanrio store.
TAKEUCHI: ... Er... what?
MURAKUMO: I adore Hello Kitty.
KUSANAGI: I'm partial to Kerokerokeroppi myself. Anyway, see you later, Ryoko, honey. ::blows a kiss::
KOUME: I eat puppies.
MURAKUMO: ::hand wave:: Oh, you will not buh-lieve what I heard at the salon today...
KAEDE: (singing) "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."
::Susano-oh and Murakumo sing along in background::
MOMIJI: I wanna marry Murakumo and have, like, a billion of his babies!
by Jerem
Kusanagi: Murakumo, I have decided to leave Momiji and join you in your quest to destroy humanity.
Yaegashi: What is that Mr. Kunikida... Porn!? Put that away, you dirty dirty man!!
Koume: Man, Yaegashi, you are pretty cool, you know that?
Kaede: I don't wanna change the people in the world into plants because I want them to be controllable, I just like plants, that's all. If I liked roaches, I'd turn them into that.
Kunikida: I think we should be serious about this. No joking around!
Sakura: I think I'll donate all the money I make from the TAC to the Salvation Army's children section... Those poor little kids...