Chapter 5


"Let's see, when will be the perfect day now? I can't just do it right now. . ." Motomi said while looking at his calendar. "No, not this day, because it'll probably be too soon. No. . .I have that job interview. . ."
Suddenly his eyes alighted on a certain date. The same date that Shinya had died. Why hadn't he thought of it before? 
"Why not? We'll have a little irony to mess with Shirushi's mind now. . ."
"I'm so glad you're so bent on destroying the other Seraph," Kanoe said, her heels clicking as she walked in beside Motomi. 
"Well," Motomi said with a dashing smile, "it's only so we'll win. I just take pleasure in doing my duty with my fellow Dragons."
"Really. . .ooh," Kanoe purred as she wrapped her arms around him. "I like a man with broad shoulders. So dependable and strong. . ."
"Playboy," Yuuto muttered from his newspaper. 
"Aww, Yuuto-kun, did you have a bad day today?" Motomi asked. 
"Yeah, yeah, my boss was a pain in the ass as usual. No wonder I'm a Dragon of Earth, just to get rid of people like him. That reminds me. . .I wonder if Tomoe got my message. . ."
"Your sister?"
"Mmm. . ." Satsuki mumbled as she pressed a few buttons on Beast, calling up "Mortal Kombat 3" for her and Nataku to play. Kanoe had wanted her to at least interact with Nataku with some degree as so it would be able to get more "motivated," as she had put it, to fight. Of course Kanoe hadn't mentioned how Satsuki should go about doing it, but she had hinted that Beast could be used. . .so Satsuki, not wanting to part with her dear computer, decided to use some of the downloaded games, (i.e. Mortal Kombat series, Duke Nukem, Doom, Quake, and her personal favorite, Resident Evil 2) to get Nataku a little violent. It was good that it didn't have emotions or fragility, otherwise it would have been harder to do so. . .besides, Nataku was the only person she considered a friend, besides Beast and Yuuto, respectively. 
"Okay, for punching, you press these keys, and for kicking, these. Try that for now, and I'll teach you the fatalities and the combos later." 
"All right," Nataku said unsurely. But after a while. . . .
"Satsuki!!"
"Yeah, Nataku?"
There were a million faces on the screen, or so it seemed. Nataku didn't know what to do. It gestured at the screen. 
Satsuki sighed. One of the drawbacks of Nataku was that it really didn't understand sometimes obvious stuff, while other times understanding others more difficult. 
"You just simply pick a person, and then you press this key." With that, she left to have something to drink. 
At first, Nataku was confused, but after doing what she had said, it found out and was soon not only mastering the basics, but also doing combos that could never be mastered by normal humans. By the time a few hours had passed it had gone through the game about four times. Soon it's name took up the places on the top player's list. It really liked this game. 
"Satsuki. . .are there any more games like this?"

Over the next few months, Shirushi had seemed to adjust fine to her college. She had maintained top-notch grades in her classes(not a very easy task, mind you) and finally got a job in Manga no Mori as a clerk/cashier/information desk expert. She still didn't really  care about the battle. All she said was "All things in good time." 
After all, with the battle seemingly far away, she didn't see any cause to worry. Arashi tried to get her serious about it, but then, she decided that she'd get serious after a while. Sorata had said that meant she knew what to do. . . 
No Dragons of Earth had come to bother her, although Subaru and Sorata were having their share of problems. 
This didn't mean that there was her share of problems, however. Noriko had taken the first-day brawl a bit seriously, even though all she had received from the dean was a lecture on conduct. As her "price", she dedicated herself to trying to beat Shirushi every which way she could, and figuring out nicknames to call Shirushi, like "Shorty", "Monkey", and such other epithets. "Mura-mura" was most annoying. . . not to mention now that she had learned that Noriko had been the most popular girl in school. . .and that now it seemed that Shirushi was rivaling her in that area.
As for the manga club, it took up her extracurricular slot, and she was already working on two manga series to submit to ASUKA and LaLa. She had tried to submit to a few comics before to Nakayoshi, Ribon, and Amie, but those really didn't seem to make it. She guessed that they were too "adult" for the magazine, so she tried the older ones. 
So why would there be any reason to feel that something horrible was going to happen today? She had gotten perfect scores on tests that she had studied for, her papers had gotten the same type of luck. Not to mention that the manga submissions for the club was starting, and so far everything was going as planned. Sakaruda-san had decided to give her a raise in her pay, and Asuka had gotten her an interview with a local manga author for their fanzine. 
And yet, strangely, Shirushi knew that something bad would happen. Normally, it would've been a great day for her, but she had this feeling. . .
For some reason, the feeling had gotten stronger when Kamui was around. Therefore, Shirushi had seemed to be more on edge. 
"I hope he took my warning seriously," she muttered as she did some more pencil drawing on the panels for her manga. She had told him to watch out today before she had left for school. 
"But if everything's going so well," Sana had said, "why do you think something terrible would happen?"
"Really, Sana. Life's just that kind to you. . ." Shirushi had trailed off at the manga store. 
"You're cynical, Mika-chan."
"Maybe I am cynical, and maybe I just have this premonition that something bad will happen today."
 she thought. However, that feeling was growing, little by little. . .
"We get out soon, Kan-chan," Masaya said. "What, are you hungry or somethin'?"
"No. . .just that I'm in a hurry. . ."
"You know, I'm hungry too. . .oh well. Anna-oneesan's cooking tonight, so that must be making me extra hungry."
"Huh, didn't know that Anna cooked," Sana said absentmindedly. 
"Where do you think I get that yummy-looking bento from every day?"
"Your mom?"
"No!" Masaya said, shaking his head. "Mom's not that big on cooking. We lived on TV dinners for quite a while."
"Sounds grim," Shirushi said while trying to draw her character. . .but she just couldn't get the hair right. For a while that feeling was forgotten. 


Motomi watched his so-called "object of desire" sit alone in his room. It was almost dusk, and Shirushi still wasn't home yet, because the house was much quieter. 
 he thought.  
A smile appeared on his lips. 
 he thought as he flew up to the window, carelessly shattering the glass as he advanced toward his target from behind. 

Kanoe couldn't help but marvel and grimace at what Motomi was doing to one of the Seals. 
"After all, the humans have taken advantage of the earth," he had said smoothly. "And since the Seals represent them, wouldn't it be fair to show the wrath of the Angels by taking advantage of one of them? We'll seriously weaken the whole group this way, Kanoe-sama."
Kanoe marveled at the symbolism and the potential damage. She grimaced, however, at the deed being done. Rape was quite a sick way of getting their point across. . .

A window suddenly shattered, and before Kamui could turn around, a hand grabbed him and he was staring right into the face of the man Shirushi hated so much. 
"So this is the one that Shirushi cares about the most," the man said with a cruel smile, hand curling gently, almost too gently, around the boy's chin. 
"It's you. . ." Kamui hissed in anger, preparing to attack. 
"My, my, a feisty one! There's no need to attack," Motomi said in a deceptively light voice. "I wish you no _real_ harm. After all," he said, brushing a hand over the eyes, turning them dull violet in seconds, "you're only part of my plan. . .but we will have some fun as soon as you wake up."
He ran his fingers through the victim's hair, noting how silky it was. 
 he thought, looking at the prone form a little more closely. The face was most certainly pretty, almost feminine in it's appearance, along with how the body looked, slim and graceful. 
"It's certainly too bad that I have to be so quick," he said to no one in particular as he started to slip off  Kamui's uniform. "But I do have other things to attend to, I'm afraid."

There was a jolt in her mind. 
Then a slight feeling of defensiveness that quickly dissipated into what seemed like someone was going unconscious. 
Shirushi's head snapped up. "I have to go," she said in a tense voice. 
"But Shirushi," Sana said, "Sakaruda-san said that we stay here until he comes back from the meeting."
"_I don't care_. Look, there aren't any customers coming in here right now. . . just tell him that my grandma got into a car accident, and I had to go to the hospital. I have to go _now_.," she said as she quickly gathered up her things as if she was expecting Nazis to break in at any moment. 
"Wait!!" Sana called. "Where are you going!?"
"I can't explain now, but if I don't get there in time, I'll be too late. . ." she said as she ran out of the store.  she thought. 

All the Seals seemed to have felt the same thing too, as did Hinoto.
"The Seraph of Earth is trying to hurt the Seraph of Heaven," she said. 
"What!?" Hien said in a shocked voice. 
Hinoto looked at the twins and Daisuke with blind red eyes. 
"Yes. They have spent years as enemies, and now it seems that the Seraph of Earth is striking out against her. . ."
"But how!?" Daisuke asked. 
"Do you remember when Kamui chose sides? That day, he had lost two of the people he loved. . .and now Shirushi will see the person she loves the most harmed in a way much worse than death. Saiki-dono. Warn the Seals so they can prevent this from happening if possible. . ." she hung her head, tears flowing from her blind gaze. 
"Why? Why is it that the person that she loves is also involved? Why do they both have to suffer so much?"

"Sorata! Sorata!" Daisuke yelled as he ran up to the Kansai priest. 
"Hey, hey, calm down," Sorata said. "What's the matter?" 
"It's from Hinoto. . ." Daisuke trailed off. "Where's Shirushi?"
"She should be coming back from her job soon," Arashi said, coming up behind the two of them. Then she saw Daisuke's expression. "What's wrong?"
"Something bad is going to happen to the two of them. . .her and the person she cares about most. . ."
Suddenly a frown came to Arashi's face. "Where's Kamui?"
"What?" Daisuke asked. 
"Where is he? I haven't seen him since this morning. . ."
"Oh no," Sorata said in horror. "We have to find him _now_!!"

Motomi heard a whimper as he was beginning to advance.
"Awake now, aren't you?" he asked as he ran a hand ever so lightly down Kamui's side. 
Kamui's eyes widened in horror as he took in what was happening. "No. . ."
"Oh, come on, it isn't as bad as you would think. It's actually very nice, if I do say so myself," Motomi purred. "You can't really do anything about it. They don't know where you are, so they can't help you."
"Shirushi will probably know."
"Shirushi," Motomi said in that same silky voice, "would be killed if she tried to intervene in this. She wouldn't try anyway. . .so this should work perfectly. She'll be weakened badly after this. . .oh," as he stopped to chuckle, "why, she might even try to kill herself or God forbid, go mad. . ." 
"No! I. . .I won't let you do this. . .to me. . .to Shirushi. . ." Tears were beginning to shimmer in those expressive eyes. "You can't. . ."
Motomi gently kissed his collarbone. "I certainly can. How about we make a bargain?" The silent space afterwards gave him a signal to proceed. "If you'll have fun with me, I'll let your friend live awhile longer. All right?" he said, with a seemingly understanding smile. He traced a finger down Kamui's cheek, feeling the silky, almost pliable skin underneath. "I promise you, she won't be hurt-physically."
"You're lying," Kamui choked, his voice a mix of hurt, anger, and sadness. 
"But you have no choice but to believe me. After all, what if you don't accept? Then she'll be killed as soon as she sees us. You don't want that, do you?"
 Kamui thought. He swallowed and then nodded. 

"Dammit. . .I didn't know that it was this hard to get to the Imonoyama house. . ." Shirushi grumbled as she leaped from one building to another, startling the pedestrians below. The horrible intuition was getting stronger and stronger. . . 
"I can't be late!" she snapped to no one in particular as she decided to take a "shortcut" and started leaping from one car to the other. 
 she thought as she saw the familiar pentacle of Clamp Campus up ahead. 


Yuzuriha knocked on the door to Kamui's room. "Onii-san. . .are you in there? Onii-san?" She stepped a little more forward. "Come on, everyone's looking for you." She tried to open the door. 
Only to find out that it was locked. 
"That's strange. . .it doesn't look that way."
She tried it again, only surprised to find out that it *was* locked, but by some sort of spell. Inuki whined in a terrified manner.
 she thought. 
Then she saw Subaru walking down the hall, and ran up to him. 
"Subaru-kun! There's something that I need your help with," she said. "Kamui's room. . .he won't come out. . ."
Subaru walked up to the door and tried to open it. "There's something wrong here. . ." he said. "Kamui is in danger. . ." He nodded to Yuzuriha, who immediately ran downstairs to get the rest of the Seals. 

"Where could that little guy run off to?" Sorata said as he looked around. 
"School was over a long time ago, and he usually goes straight home afterwards," Arashi said absentmindedly. "Where could he have gone?"
"Sorata! Arashi!" The two turned to see Yuzuriha running towards them, Inuki at her heels. 
"What is it?" 
"Kamui's room. . .it's locked, by some sort of spell. . .and. . ." Her sentence was cut off by Sorata. 
"Hinoto was right! He _is_ in trouble!" He nodded to Arashi, and they followed Yuzuriha into the mansion. 

"It has already begun." 
Kakyou gazed at Hinoto with a calm expression. "Humans are so cruel to each other, it seems."
Hinoto was speechless. 
"So now it seems that both Seraphim are unstable, one originally, the other about to become that way," he continued. "The question still remains: who is the one that will sabotage the battle?"
Hinoto turned another blind gaze to him. 
"You are cruel. . .to make them suffer so much."
"I'm not cruel," Kakyou continued in another calm voice. "It's Destiny, Fate that is cruel to people such as us. I am also a DreamGazer. Like you, I cannot change the future. Like you, I can only watch as it continues it's own uncaring journey to people."
"And so the Seraphim are here. . .all because the 'Kamui' of the Dragons of Heaven."
"True. It seems that he himself has changed destiny unconsciously."
"Unconsciously?"
"Yes, because of his Wish. He had wished that his friend would return. . .and he had wanted so badly to bring him back. . .that now the Seraphim fight in their place."
"But the girl. . ."
"Yes, another one that he loves dearly. It's rather disturbing; he must risk one friend if he wants the return of another." 
"Kami-sama, why do you play with us this way?" Hinoto's telepathic sentence was so soft and pleading. "Why do you make humans carry out your battles?"
Kakyou responded softly also. "Only humans can determine what shall happen next. Kami-sama has nothing to do with it."
"All we can do is watch," he continued, "and hope that the future will be kinder to us."

Shirushi finally landed on the rooftop of the mansion. 
 she thought. She immediately ran along the roof to find Kamui's room. 
And then noticed that there was a shattered window right below her. 
 She jumped down and ran in the empty space. 
Then she stared in shock at the scene. 
There was the same thing that was happening four years ago. . .with Motomi. . .
Do-kun.
< "Your brother's dead, Shirushi. There was nothing we could do.">
Do-kun.
< "It's all your fault, Shirushi. . .all your fault that your dear brother's dying on you. . .why didn't you come home earlier? Didn't you get my warnings and my threats?">
Do-kun.
<"Well, since you were an eyewitness to this, I suppose that I'll get in trouble if you're alive. I'm _so_ sorry I have to do this, but take comfort: stabbing isn't the worst way to die. . .after all, I had a little fun with Shinya-kun before I killed him. . .what a pity. . .such a pretty face too. . .not like your own with those odd-looking eyes. .">
Do-kun. Do-kun. Do-kun. Do-kun. 
 Shirushi thought as everything slammed into her with full force. 
Motomi turned to face her, and looked pleased with her face, overcome with total shock and terror. 
"Looks like my plan is going to work just fine," he said. "It's so fun to watch this girl's expression and her mental demise. . ."
< "Don't look. Don't look, imoto-chan!! Don't look in here!!">
"Shi. . .ru. . .shi. . ." Kamui whispered painfully. 
As she gathered what had just happened, Shirushi's face quickly changed from shock and terror to pure fury. 
"Why did you do this!?" she demanded. 
"Oh, to weaken you, to hurt you, so that I could eventually _kill_ you. . ."
"But why to _him_!? He's never done anything to hurt you!! If you had wanted to get rid of me, why didn't you!?" she hissed. "Hurt me all you want, I don't care. But I'll never forgive you for doing this!!"
"You realize, Motomi-san, that what you did was a mistake. . .and that now you will pay. . ." she said with a sinister smile, energy gathering around her like a cloak. 
"Really, Shirushi? I don't think so. . ." Motomi said, energy buzzing madly around him. "At least this means that the battle will be over much, much, sooner." 
"We'll see about that, won't we!?" Shirushi yelled over the blast that rang out towards Motomi. 
Motomi countered with a vine that tied both arms to her sides. "We certainly will, with you trying to get out of that. . ." his sentence broke off as soon as the vine had disappeared with a burst of flame. The fight went on like this for hours, but to Shirushi something was strange: why was he only using very weak attacks?
"Your attacks annoy me, Motomi," Shirushi hissed. "You've really been pissing me off for the last four years, you know that?"
Suddenly Motomi waved a hand, and a massive wave knocked her against the wall. At this time, Shirushi had barely enough energy to counter it with a blast of her own. 
"You know, Shirushi," Motomi said softly, taking a step towards her, "you're to blame for everything. If I had killed you, none of this would happen. If you hadn't stayed alive, maybe your dear friend over there wouldn't have been treated this way. . .all your fault, all your fault. . ."
"All. . .my fault. . .all my fault. . .no, it can't be true!!" she said in a wooden voice. "No," she said, her voice gaining strength, "I won't believe it!"
"All you had to do was die. . .why is your spirit so hard to break? You could have at least gone against your parents' wishes and stayed in America. But you had to come to Tokyo and put all this trouble among your friends. . .no, you had to come, so all of this _is_ your fault."
"It was my fault. . .my fault. . .my fault. . .my fault. . ." Shirushi sounded like a broken record. 
"No. . ." Kamui said pleadingly. "Don't listen to him. . .don't listen to him, Shirushi. . ."
"My fault. . .my fault. . .my fault. . .my fault. . .all Shirushi's fault. . .all Shirushi's fault. . .left for dead. . all Shirushi's fault," she continued, unaware of the tearful pleas toward her. Her voice was now in a monotone, no emotion in it at all. 
Motomi gave a sinister smile. "It looks like my work here is done," he said. "My, isn't she charming in this way?" 
Kamui's eyes flashed at him. "I hate you. . ." he choked out, tears shimmering on the lashes. 
"You know, you're very pretty when you cry," Motomi said. "I can hardly wait to do that again."
With that, he disappeared, leaving ashes that flew out with the evening breezes. 

The rest of the Seals came into the now unlocked room, now that the danger had passed. 
"Oh. . .no. . ." Arashi whispered. 
The window had been shattered leaving the breezes blowing in heedlessly, and they saw Shirushi hugging her knees, whispering very quietly, with a terror-stricken face, while Kamui was desperately trying to get her to look at him. 
Sadly enough, it didn't seem to be working. 
"All my fault. . .my fault. . ." she kept on whispering. 
Kamui wasn't that well off either. All he had covering him were the sheets, and there was blood seeping out of the mattress. 
"Shirushi. . .please, look at me. . .over here. . ." he pleaded. 
"My fault. . .my fault. . .how come Shirushi didn't die. . .?" Her face was pale, and suddenly with a look between sadness, guilt and determination, yet still expressionless, she staggered to her feet, unheeding of the rest of the Seals, and walked downstairs as if in a trance. 
"How come. . .how come. . .why am I still alive. . .why am I still alive. . ." 
"Someone, get Shirushi. . .!" Kamui was hushed by Subaru. The onmyouji wrapped the sheets around him, and picked him up. 
"You need to go to the hospital," Subaru said tonelessly. He nodded to the others. "Don't worry. They'll take care of her."

Shirushi continued to walk downstairs, seeming to know what she must do. 
"All my fault. . .all my fault. . .why am I still alive. . .why am I still alive. . .?"
It was simple. If she hadn't been alive she wouldn't have been involved in this. Then Motomi wouldn't have struck out against Kamui. But he did, simply because she existed. So the solution was easy. 
Die.
If she was dead, then Motomi wouldn't be angry with her, and then he wouldn't try to hurt other people she cared about. 
After all, dead people couldn't be hurt.
But most important of all, it was so Motomi wouldn't hurt Kamui again. Ever.
Besides, at least she was taking her own life instead of someone else.
She walked inside the kitchen, trying to find the medicine cabinet, but soon remembered that it was upstairs. So she went over to where the knives were kept. 
A sharp knife with a long smooth blade soon caught her eye. It was perfect. Before she knew it, her fingers had closed tightly around the handle. 
Suddenly thinking about it, she decided to go to the sink, as so there wouldn't be anything left to clean up. Taking a deep breath, she slowly and painstakingly drew the blade across her wrists. 
The dark red blood seemed to spill across her hands, like a pouring stream of crimson. Soon the coppery scent of it filled the air. She stood and watched it trickle into the receptacle of the sink, feeling nothing as her life began to slip away from her, as the red fluid made her wrists slick and her sleeves sticky and wet. She watched the blood, drop by drop. One drop, two drop, three drop. . . 
"I don't want to be a part of this anymore," she said in a monotone, speaking clearly again. "No more pain. No more loved ones getting hurt because of me. No more. . ." 
The smell this time became sweeter as more blood was lost. 
"I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." She closed her eyes, and felt her strength leaving as she fell toward the sink. 
"Gomen ne, Kamui-chan, minna. . ." 
"I won't bother any of you anymore."

"Where could she have gone?"
"Well, she didn't look like she was going out of the house. . ."
Karen and Aoki looked frustrated and worried as they searched for Shirushi. 
"Maybe if we call out for her. . ." Yuzuriha suggested. 
"What makes you think that'll work? Kamui was trying to do that, and she wasn't responding at all!" Arashi looked a little more worried than the rest of the group. 
"Don't worry, miss." Sorata was trying to be reassuring, although he wasn't too sure himself. "She's probably not going to do anything too crazy. . .hey, Shirushi!! Where are you!?" At Arashi's glare, he said, "Hey, maybe she'll hear us."
"It's too quiet." Karen looked around. "Much too quiet for someone like her. You think she'd at least be punching walls right now." Suddenly she started. "What's that?"
Aoki looked up. "What?"
"Do you hear something. . .dripping?"
Inuki whined softly. It smelled like something was on it's way to dying. 
"Inuki?" Yuzuriha asked in a concerned voice. Inuki now was whining and trying to get away, an instinct to get away from corpses. 
"Oh. . .no. . ." Arashi said. The scent they had just come on to was metallic, salty yet sweet. It could only be one thing. 
Without any further words, she led the group to the kitchen. 

Subaru was just about to leave for the hospital when a cry came from downstairs. 
"No. . ." he whispered fearfully. Quickly he carried Kamui downstairs to see what had happened, only to see the Seals crowded around the sink, save for Aoki who was covering Yuzuriha's eyes. Yuzuriha was shaking fearfully and sobbing. 
"Onee-chan. . .onee-chan tried to kill herself. . ." she said. 
Subaru had noticed a knife garishly stained with red near the sink. He stared helplessly at the scene. Arashi was standing by worriedly. 
"I didn't think she'd do this," she said, emotion actually reverberating in her voice. 
"Subaru," Kamui said all of a sudden. "You don't think she's. . ." he trailed off with a gasp as Subaru came to see what was going on. 
Shirushi's unmoving body was slumped over the sink, her hair falling over and mixing with the blood that had also spilt. The whole sink was red with her blood, and Sorata was thoughtful enough to get a few towels to stop the bleeding. 
"Shirushi. . .Shirushi! Can you hear me!?" Karen said in an attempt to pull her body into consciousness, or to revive. Karen shook her even harder. "Answer me!! Shirushi!!" She shook too hard, resulting in Shirushi falling over abruptly, her body colliding on the ground with a harsh smack. 
It was too much for Arashi. With an anguished cry, she dropped to the floor beside Shirushi and started slapping her. 
"Get up! Get up!!" she screamed. "Dammit, why won't you get up!? Tease me! Make nasty remarks!! Don't leave us!!" She shook Shirushi's body. "Please. . .please. . ." she said as Sorata put a hand on her shoulder, gently leading her away. 
Up to this point Kamui had been staring in shock. Now he turned his face into Subaru's shirt and started to cry, hands holding him tightly, and his tears breaking into the dark cloth. 
"Why? Why. . .?" he asked numbly as his body shook uncontrollably with sobs. "Why did you have to hurt her so much? Why does everyone around me die?"
Wordlessly, Subaru handed Kamui over to Sorata while he went over to Shirushi's body. He picked up her wrist, still warm and sticky with her blood, examining the cut. 
The incision had been made neatly across the wrist, reaching end to end. It would have killed her all right. Except that the cut wasn't deep enough into the vein. He had tried it before when Hokuto had died. . .and he knew that this was less deeper than any of his cuts. Deep enough to cause a lot of bleeding, although being unconscious was probably due to exhaustion. He put his fingers to her wrist. There was a pulse, not as strong, but still there. 
He turned to the rest of the group, who had been watching. 
"It's all right. She's not dead," he said calmly. Only Subaru could remain calm in a situation like this. 
"But she. . ." Arashi said. 
"The cut wasn't deep enough. But if it had, we would have certainly been too late. She would have died by the time you came down."
"But she was slumped across the sink!" Sorata exclaimed. 
"It looks like she had passed out," Subaru responded. 
Shirushi moaned almost inaudibly. Subaru turned towards her. 
"She needs to get to the hospital too," he said. "Those cuts need stitches, and she may need a blood transfusion." He picked up her body, and the group headed off toward the hospital. 

Meanwhile, Motomi had watched the entire scene from the privacy of Satsuki's computer. She had been reluctant to let him use it, after all it being a friend and him being a bit shady and sick-minded(he had told the Angels what he had done). 
"Oh. . .this is good. . .I never knew that I had to use certain tactics instead of a spell. It's so interesting to see a strong person become weak all of a sudden."
"Why did you do it?" He turned to see Satsuki. 
"So you miss Beast now, Satsuki-chan?"
"Don't call me that!! Why did you do it to him!?"
"Because I like having the circumstances under my complete control. . .if I weaken the obstacles just so, like what I had done, then we'll win!"
"You are one perverted, sick, twisted. . .HUMAN!!!" she shouted after his retreating back. With an angry huff, she placed herself again at Beast's seat. 

She replayed the scene that Motomi was smiling so twistedly at. Personally, it had made her stomach turn. Why would he want to influence humans to take their own lives in such a gruesome fashion? She herself didn't want to make them suffer, just get rid of them. Then again, was it this strange compassion that she was having. . .?

"Really, Beast, I'm sorry he had to sit here. You're okay, right?"
It whirred in a relieved tone, happy to be with the owner again. 
"I can't believe how stupid the Dragons of Earth are becoming. Don't they see how twisted this guy is? I mean, at first, yeah, the weird grins could've been a strange habit. But this-this is crazy. What does he want to go around messing with the other side sexually for? Humans," she said, "are just strange folks. I'm not bored anymore, but now I'm scared. . .I'd rather be bored than scared. . ."
Suddenly she thought of something. 
"Hadn't Motomi known Shirushi before? If they know each other. . .maybe I could learn a little more. . ." Beast seemed jealous. 
"No, no. I don't think you'd be able to get that type of 'human' information, Beast. . .but I'll be able to use it with you soon. Better? Now, be a good computer." She typed in a command. "Just need to find her class schedule at Clamp. Then I can try to talk to her. If he can treat a Dragon of Heaven that way, I don't see anything forbidding me from just talking to her."

"When will this ever end?" Karen quietly dipped the cloth in water to put on Shirushi's forehead. Shirushi had been able to get the stitches, but they decided to let her rest for a while in Kamui's hospital room. She was still unconscious and had developed a fever, but at least she would be all right. 
"I think she's hiding something from us," Sorata said quietly. "She hasn't mentioned a word about her family ever since she came here. She seems a bit *too* settled. . .and when we try to talk about life with her family she changed the subject."
"They're dead. All of them."
The group turned to face Kamui in his bed. 
"She-she told me once after she came here. Her parents killed themselves before she left. Her older brother's dead too, but she didn't tell me what happened."
"Poor girl, she doesn't have anyone left. . ." Karen murmured. "She's just like a few of us. . . and she's here out of her home all alone too."
Suddenly Shirushi moaned, and started tossing and turning. 
"Looks like she's regaining consciousness again. . ." Arashi said. 

"Where am I now?"
Shirushi turned around in a vast space.  She quietly smiled to herself. 
 
She saw something coming toward her. It was glowing softly, and it landed in her hands. 
 She stared into it, and it grew bigger and engulfed her. 
"Wha-?" She was floating in a strange landscape. Then as the light cleared, she saw a beach and two children running along it, followed casually by a third. As she came closer, she recognized the children.  They were trying to find shells on the sand. 
 She watched as both her younger self and Kamui found two pieces of a pretty shell, and found out in delight that they fit together like a puzzle. 
"I like you, In-chan. Do you like me?"
"Yeah. . ."
"Let's promise on these shells that we'll always stay friends, no matter what. Okay?" 
A bit of hesitancy. Then a bright smile. "Okay!"
"That's good." Shinya smiled down at the two of them. "It's good to have a friend you can count on."
 Shirushi thought with a sigh. 
The scene shifted. This time, she saw herself at twelve years old, walking home from a pep rally at her school. She opened the door, but there was nobody home. 
"Oniichan!! I'm home from that stupid pep rally! I got good grades on my tests!" she called out. 
 Shirushi thought.  Of course, her younger self disobeyed and walked upstairs. 

Karen looked down worriedly as Shirushi started to gasp for breath. She quietly put her hand to the girl's forehead , and soon she calmed. 
However, the backlash that Karen had received told her that something was happening to her. 
"I don't like what I see here. . .she's beginning to really sweat." She bit her lip as Shirushi's tossing and turning grew more frequent. 
All the rest of the group could do was watch. 

Shirushi watched in horror as everything in her mind moved. 
"Nii-chan?" The girl wearing glasses and hair up in a ponytail walked in the hall. "Where are you?"
"No. . .stop. . .Motomi. . .please stop this. . ." she heard from a room. Her head snapped up. 
"Oh, here she comes now. . ." Motomi said. 
 Shirushi thought from outside.
"Nii-chan? I thought you weren't having anyone over. . ." The younger Shirushi danced over to his room. "Can I see what's going on?"
"No, Shirushi! Don't come in!" Shinya called desperately. "Don't come in!"
"Why not?" Motomi said cruelly. "Let her see us like this, let her see her brother for the last time. . ."
"Oniichan? Are you okay in there!? Oniichan!! Why don't you answer me?"
"Don't come in, imoto-chan. . . don't come in. . ."
The girl rattled at the doorknob, but found out it was locked. Knowing that she needed to get to her brother, she summoned her powers and then fired an attack that knocked the door down. 
As soon as she stepped in, shock registered on her face. 
"NII-CHAN!!" 
There was Motomi and Shinya in bed. . .nothing on. . .in broad view. 
"Hello, Shirushi," Motomi said. "You're just in time to see your brother die."
"No. . .you couldn't have done that to him!" the younger Shirushi screamed out. 
"Yes, I did." Motomi smiled cruelly. "And I don't regret that I did, either."
The girl's face contorted into fury. "I'll kill you for that!!" she screamed. "I can't believe that you did that!!!" Shirushi watched helplessly as her younger self fought with Motomi, failing and getting banged against the wall a lot. Finally Motomi threw her into a wall. Tired and drained, all she could do was watch as Motomi drained Shinya of his energy. 
He grinned sadistically. "It's all your fault, Shirushi. . .all your fault that your dear brother's dying on you. Why didn't you come home earlier? Didn't you get my warnings and my threats?"
"So YOU were the one who left all those notes in my locker!! I bet that the animal heart was yours too!!" The girl gasped, drawing in one breath raggedly. Summoning as much power as she could, she leveled a blast of high magnitude at her oppressor. He fell back, stunned, as she ran to Shinya. 
"Nii-chan!! Nii-chan!! Can you hear me!?" Shirushi shook her brother's limp body. "Please. . .say something, anything!! Say that you're mad at me for coming home later! Just don't leave me. . .!"
Shinya's eyes fluttered open to see his younger sister staring down at him. "Shirushi. . .I. . .I don't think I'll be able to stay here longer than I wanted to. . ."
"Don't say that!! I'll call the police, and then I'll get an ambulance. . ."
Shinya cut her off. "No need. . ." He reached up to brush a hand along his sister's cheek. A tear rolled down it, and his fingers traced the path it had made. 
"Shi-chan. . .this is the only time I've seen you cry. . ." he whispered, voice fading. "Promise me one thing. . .that you'll be strong. . .that you won't cry. . .Mom and Dad wouldn't want that. . ."
"Don't go," she simply said. "Don't go." 
Shinya's hand came to her own. Threading his fingers through hers, he brought it to his neck, where his ring was. 
"Here. . .take this," he said, closing her hand around it. "If you wear it, I'll never be able to leave you. . ."
He closed his eyes, and then with a last breath, slipped away.
His sister stood there, shock, bewilderment and sadness all mixing together. She gently slipped the ring off the body and put it around her neck in a somber manner. 
"I won't cry," she said. 
"Good for you." Motomi was already rising up behind her, and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck, turning her around. He had a switchblade knife in his hand, and he looked very dangerous. 
He smiled again. 
"Well, since you were an eyewitness to this, I suppose that I'll get in trouble if you're alive. I'm _so_ sorry I have to do this, but take comfort: stabbing isn't the worst way to die. . . after all, I had a little fun with Shinya-kun before I killed him. . . .what a pity. . .such a pretty face too. . .not like your own with those odd-looking eyes. . ."
With that, he grinned evilly and drove the knife into Shirushi's ribcage. Just then, the older Shirushi felt someone grab her from behind. 
"M-Motomi!" she screamed as he thrust a sword at her. She tried to get away from him, launching a few attacks, but it was too late. 
Motomi reached for her ribs and then she felt only immeasurable pain as cold, icy fingers clamped onto the bones from inside the flesh, trying to rip them out. 

The group suddenly looked up, silence broken as Shirushi suddenly screamed in pain, folding over in two like a piece of paper under the hands of a child. The screaming was high-pitched and desperate, and soon Shirushi was thrashing around. 
"Shirushi! Shirushi! STOP!!!" Sorata shouted, trying to hold her down, but she was still screaming loud and shrill, and people were beginning to take notice. 
"She's moving too much!!" 
Suddenly Shirushi sat bolt upright from the cot, clutching her ribs and breathing heavily and raggedly. 
"Onee-chan. . .are you all right?" Yuzuriha asked timidly. 
The answer was emotionless, devoid of any life in it. 
"I'm still alive."
"The cuts weren't deep enough," Subaru said. "If they had been, you would have been dead within minutes."
"Why didn't you let me die?" The question had no sense of anger to it, it was just presented plainly as if it was a generic test question. 
"What kind of question is that!?" Karen asked. She was met by lenses reflecting her angry, bewildered face. Shirushi's face still showed no expression, blank. 
"Why did you try to kill yourself!?" Karen asked, this time grabbing Shirushi's hands. 
"Everything that has happened today with us was my fault. All because I was alive. Motomi was right." She faced the group, looking at her with shocked faces, except for Subaru, who knew very well what was going on. She continued, voice still in a flat monotone, as if the soul had died and left a still-functioning shell behind. 
"If I had died when he had tried to kill me, none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have been involved with this, and then Kamui wouldn't have been treated that way. But for some reason, I had to stay alive. . .even when the police thought I had died."
Karen slapped her, but this failed to bring a reaction out. 
Nonetheless, Karen continued. "How can you say that? How can you be so selfish and not think of why you're here!? We need you! If you weren't here, think of the consequences! All of humanity would have died!"
"We need you here, Shirushi," Karen continued harshly. "We need you here with us to protect humanity."
Shirushi responded this time. "What's the use of me when I couldn't protect even one person from getting hurt!?" This time there was an sharp, cutting edge to her voice. 
"Really. What's the use!? It's a rhetorical question. If I can't protect the person first and foremost that I'm supposed to protect, then how would you trust me with more of them? I lost my brother that way to Motomi, by trying to get him away. Shinya died anyhow! Now without any family left, I can't afford to lose any more people. And if it's because of my goddamn existence, I'll be more than happy to take my own life so that they aren't affected!!" The last words were harsh and grating, like salt and sand on a wound. 
The group was rendered speechless as she got up and stormed from the room, shutting the door quietly behind her at the last minute. 
After a few seconds, Subaru wordlessly opened it and started after her. 


*************************************************************************************
Just one note: "In" is another way to read Shirushi's name. . .and Mura-mura is a bad name too. 

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/fuji/2352/clampfics