Now this is something truly strange. I got this underwear somewhere
in California, and when I bought it, I neglected to check out the brand
name. About a month later, when I decided to work this pair into
my rotation, I was putting them on when I noticed this label. "FADED
GLORY" brand underwear. FADED GLORY! Is that not just a little
bit bizarre? Of all the names for a garment that houses a man's defining
organ, this has to be among the worst. I just can't wait for the
line of "Waning Libido" slacks, and high-quality "Lost Potential" brand
loafers.
If anyone can show me a mannequin that looks weirder than
this, I'll be impressed. This one is NOT normal. Look at him
closely. Look at the disgruntled look on his face. Look at
the hunch in his back (which, unfortunately isn't that prominent in this
picture), and the way his hands are pathetically curled up in front of
him. This mannequin has severe emotional problems, and possibly dysentery.
He is in a store window in Kitchener, Ontario. Come see him if you're
ever in town. His window-mates don't look too hot either.
This Dairy Queen sign in Waterloo, Ontario continually churns
out nonsensical messages. I'm not sure if it's some DQ employee's
little joke to himself, or if a genuine nimrod runs the shop. Either
way, it's hilarious. I have put up with several weird signs, but
this one crossed the line. I can't extract one ounce of sense from
this "slogan" that is supposed to make me want ice cream. "Lost One
Mr. Cone. He Wants To Come Home." Hmmm? Uhhhhh.....huh?
So, let's just pick that phrase apart. DQ has lost a "Mr. Cone" (presumably
a lovable ice cream character), and he wants to get back to Dairy Queen.
See, there's where the marketing wizardry didn't quite work. How
about something like, "Mr. Cone wants to go home with you.", or something
that would imply the ice cream should leave their store and go to you.
Instead, they are implying that the ice cream is lost on the street somewhere
and it should go back to Dairy Queen. And the other problem is that
THERE IS NO CHARACTER CALLED MR. CONE! So what the hell is this?
They have not mentioned "Mr. Cone" at any time before or after they put
this sign up. Screw you, DQ, not just for your high prices and low
quality, but also for your confounding riddles.
Many
of you are already quite familiar with Purple Tuxedo Man, as I have an
entire page devoted to him. However, it is undeniable that he belongs
on this page. For those of you who aren't yet familiar with him,
I'll explain. On the information card for the Canadian Airlines DC-10,
there are a couple evacuation scenes which, for some reason, feature a
man in a purple tuxedo. As you can see, he even has a top hat.
What I find most odd, is the fact that he is pictured in the outer evacuation
scene as well. He's so small there that you can barely see him, but
he's there. They took the time to add him into the scene at that
size. The appearance of Purple Tuxedo Man cannot be overlooked for
its strangeness. To get the full story on him, Click
Here. Otherwise, it should suffice to say that a man in a purple
tuxedo has no place demonstrating airplane evacuation safety.
Now this is something truly strange. I got this underwear somewhere
in California, and when I bought it, I neglected to check out the brand
name. About a month later, when I decided to work this pair into
my rotation, I was putting them on when I noticed this label. "FADED
GLORY" brand underwear. FADED GLORY! Is that not just a little
bit bizarre? Of all the names for a garment that houses a man's defining
organ, this has to be among the worst. I just can't wait for the
line of "Waning Libido" slacks, and high-quality "Lost Potential" brand
loafers.
Many
of you are already quite familiar with Purple Tuxedo Man, as I have an
entire page devoted to him. However, it is undeniable that he belongs
on this page. For those of you who aren't yet familiar with him,
I'll explain. On the information card for the Canadian Airlines DC-10,
there are a couple evacuation scenes which, for some reason, feature a
man in a purple tuxedo. As you can see, he even has a top hat.
What I find most odd, is the fact that he is pictured in the outer evacuation
scene as well. He's so small there that you can barely see him, but
he's there. They took the time to add him into the scene at that
size. The appearance of Purple Tuxedo Man cannot be overlooked for
its strangeness. To get the full story on him, Click
Here. Otherwise, it should suffice to say that a man in a purple
tuxedo has no place demonstrating airplane evacuation safety.
