Separate Lives
(c 1985 Stephen Bishop Music Publishing Co./BMI) Special thanks go to Thea, Jill, Jenn, Jill (and did I mention Jill?) for C&C-ing this songfic during its (relatively) early stages.
You called me from the room in your hotel
[Rui sits on a bench in Eitoku Gakuen's rose garden. He plays his violin, his face is a portrait of concentration with his eyes clamped tightly shut, as if he breathes a lifetime of emotions into every note. Shizuka has left for France, never to return, leaving him alone. Abruptly, he opens his eyes and stops in mid-note, resting his violin down on his lap. No matter how hard he tries, he can no longer express his emotions through his violin the way he has in the past. Hearing some students approaching from down the path, he heads towards the emergency staircase for his only sanctuary: solitude.]
And telling me how sorry you were
[Rui's thoughts drifting back to the time he spent alone at Shizuka's apartment in France. The pain of separation overpowers the joy that he felt when they spent time together, just like old times before her fiancé showed up.]
And that you miss me sometimes
[Tsukushi sees Rui head towards the emergency staircase, their unofficial meeting place. Having heard of his current predicament with Shizuka herself, she hides from Rui, understanding his need for space. A mad dash later, she leans against a tree trunk, exhausted from running as well as from her emotioins. Rui walks on, pretending not to notice. He wants to avoid her, seeing her as another question he probably won't be able to answer and is unwilling to answer, considering that Shizuka is still the one for him.]
You have no right to ask me how I feel
[As he nears the top of the emergency staircase, Rui sits down on his favorite step and starts playing his violin again. He tries to play without thinking of Shizuka, but nothing comes to him, no motivation, no feeling, as if he completely forgot how to play the violin. His resolve for "Shizuka-free" playing is broken and he starts thinking about her again… her smile, her kindness, her warmth, her touch. With Shizuka on his mind, he starts playing again with such intensity that would make one think that without the violin, no one can know what he feels.]
I held on to let you go
[In a lecture hall in France, Shizuka pauses from her note-taking to glance outside the window. Some rose petals flew by lazily, blown helplessly about by the wind. The deep red petals lent the afternoon a somber aura of days past as they flew across the dull gray courtyard, touching the cheek of an old stone cherub that had a melancholy expression carved into its face as it stood watch over a fountain. It reminded her of Eitoku Gakuen's rose gardens and of how Rui plays his violin there, bringing to mind the haunting tune he always seemed to play. Quickly, Shizuka turns back to her notes, trying to get Rui out of her mind. She struggled to replace the images of rose petals and violins by staring at a blank page in her notebook, taking in the sight of straight, dark lines contrasting against her cursive handwriting. She has been called "the woman who threw it all away", something she expected, something she was prepared for. She reminds herself that a companion who has problems expressing his emotions is not someone she wants to be with for life. It seems that friendship is all they were destined for. Hoping to leave all her unresolved feelings for Rui behind in Japan, Shizuka left for France.]
Oh, it's so typical
[Before Shizuka even had the chance to unpack in France, someone knocked on her door. In the doorway stood Rui, his face full of hope and longing. He looked into Shizuka's eyes. Shizuka was surprised, to say the least, frozen in place as snow-white rose petals from the neighborhood rose trellises flew past the two and into the building. Rui actually came all the way to France just to see her, something so surprising, a rare show of emotions from Rui, that it has haunted her thoughts ever since. He even stuck around her apartment even when she wasn't there.
Meanwhile, back at Eitoku Gakuen, Rui plays his heart out, alone on the emergency staircase.]
You have no right to ask me how I feel
[Giving in to nostalgia, the two simultaneously think back about their early days. The young Shizuka and the even younger Rui slowly walked towards a tree. Shizuka motioned for Rui to crouch behind a bush with her and slowly pointed to a tree. Up on a branch, lit by dappled sunlight, a family of squirrels scampered out of their home, sniffing the air. A mystified Rui eagerly stood up for a better view of the squirrels, but ended up scaring them away. Shizuka stoods up next to him, worried that having scared away the squirrels would upset Rui. Instead, she was rewarded by a rare smile. ]
Someday I might
[The two's flashbacks then switch to that night in Atami when Rui pulled Shizuka away to the privacy of a bedroom. It was something Shizuka had longed for, Rui's strong show of emotion, Rui finally trying to break through his own emotional barriers, taking advantage of the right to lose control. She was ready to give herself to Rui, body and soul, but he pulled away. That was the turning point of their relationship, something both of them would never forget or maybe even would like to do over again.]
Yes, for now we'll go on living
[After the last note faded away, Rui calmly stood up and walked off to look for the F3. As he walked into the rose garden, he came face to face with Tsukushi...]
|