Sometimes You Have to be Alone
(excerpt from "Sticky Rice is a Dessert")
July 1998
Part II
The cars drive by, the people walk by, and each person is in their own very important world. I am sitting at an iron table with a candle that has seen many flames burn within. It has little left to offer an inferno, but in a dark room, the candle will seem as bright as the sun. In a church, the candles united will bring forth the illumination for a grand cathedral. It must be alone to understand the grandeur of its brilliance.
Each individual must be alone to realize it is more than just a candle against the sun, but one of many flames that can emit a brilliance that can blind the eye.
In its isolation can it realize its brillance. In its solitude, can it realize its strength to ignite an inferno. It can never be alone, because its value derives its importance from the balance of its self importance and its contribution to light the world.
And is the individual person.
I have experienced the beauty of a flame burning in unison with a love of another. It is as bright togehter as a pair of candles lighting a feast for lovers. And in the evening, one solitary flame, as that of the two lovers joined, can emit such a brilliance as to encompass every world, every soul, every heartbeat. That is the grandeur of the solitary flame, or solitude, or lonliness.
Eating is such a peculiar thing. faced with a voracious appetite, a meal will have every bit of splendeur as a dinner out at Le Petrossian, and when the stomach is full, a meal at Gotham ranks with that of Mr Yee's Take-Out. (The reprecussions of a meal at the local chinese food joint later notwithstanding.)
And so it goes, the sanctity of solitude, the leverage of loneliness, the majesty of myself.
Cherish every moment. There are so many opportunities to be with company to interchange ideas and intermingle with society. The times one shares truly alone to reflect and reassess oneself is rare. There will always be people around, but there is no time like the present. Never forsake the constants of your life with the variables of you.
