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From: Joel Gajeway 
Subject: [OW!98] Bishounen Is As Bishounen Does
Date: 08 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
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> Just then a tall, slender black-haired bishounen wearing a
> goatee, black leather pants, black gloves and a white silk shirt
> stepped on the stage.   Sailor Shade squealed delightedly.  "And
> look, ladies and gentlevillains!  The  recipient of our Evil
> Makeover is back.  He's now the paragon of the modern villain!
> Isn't he wonderful??"
>
>      Dead silence reigned for a few moments.
>
>      "*That's* a paragon of the modern villain?" Kane Magus
> whispered to  Malachite.
>
>      "No..." the general replied, nonplussed, "That's generation X."
>      "Oh."
>
>      "And this concludes our seminar on evil fashion.  Please
> renew your tickets and then we break for lunch."
>
>      Everyone filed out of the room, leaving Joel standing on the
> stage, looking down at his leather and silk clad self.
>
>      "By Reichan..." he whimpered.  "...What have they done to
> me?"
>

Weeks realtime later, after sitting quietly in shock in the corner, Joel
got up. He felt... different. The Gen-X villain style outfit seemed
surprisingly comfortable. Minako was in one corner, laughing very loudly
at weak jokes and in general throwing herself at anyone who walked by.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen." Joel said in a loud and heavily
sarcastic tone that rang through the room. "The once-great instigator of
Otaku Wars reduced to receptions and mall openings. Soon they'll be
saying she goes to the opening of a letter." Joel shook his head with
obvious mock sadness, and headed past her toward the buffet. Minako sat
with her jaw hanging wide open.

Helping himself to pork fried rice and General Tso's chicken, Joel found
himself standing next to the moppet known as Merle. "Evil is letting
extremely short people in now," he said. "No standards at all, it's so
sad. And who are you, Miss Chibi-Villain?"

Merle bristled. "I'm Merle! I'm the child of--"

"Cape Mike and Sailor Ice Blade, yes I know."

"NO! But--"

"No buts. You can't be the OTHER Merle. That Merle was actually _killed_
so you must be another. And if you _were_ the other one you couldn't
exist anyway since the Hindu and Mimi have left the wars without
procreating. So you must be Cape Mike and Sailor Ice Blade's secret
child from the future. Don't lie; your face will turn red and swell up."

'Merle' blinked at him in shock. "Nooooo!!!" she sobbed and ran for the
back door. "I've been discovered already! WAAAAAAAA!!!"

Joel sat down his plate at a convenient table and took out a notebook
and pen. He jotted down "Insult a senshi" and "Make small child cry,"
and then crossed both items off as being done. After pondering a bit he
added a third item before putting the pad away, "Launch evil scheme to
resurrect/summon Master Villain."

He then picked at his food a bit before sauntering over to the Abacus
look-alike. "You must be an SZ-97 Gamma series World Computer
Interface," he said idly. "I do so hope there's a scheme to all this. I
mean, I'm all dressed up and this is no place to wreck evil." He leaned
forward and whispered in the android's ear. "It's too easy," and then
idly stroked the android's cheek once."Hm, nice skin texture" he
remarked. "So, you have something planned, yes?" he concluded in a
normal tone.

TBC?

Joel, once Jolly, then Dead, now Dark