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From: Carp 
Subject: [OW!98] A partisan, landmark post
Date: 21 Jan 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <36A6C260.237F@med.unc.edu>
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On the last episode of OW!98, something or other happened.  But a long,
long time ago, Eros (the stupid mouse) ran up Carp's dress, and that's
what's important here.  Confused?  Then you're probably an idiot.  Can't
really do anything about that, but it's possible you won't be, after
this episode of...OW!98.



	"Hmm," Carp mused.  "There is a ticking sensation coming from the
inside of my clothing.  And not one of the normal, happy tickling
sensations I experience on a daily basis, this one is new and
uncomfortable!"  He yelled into the part of the dress that would cover
his breasts, had he any.  "Hey you, tickling sensation, come out of
there!  You're being very disconcerting."
	"Please excuse my brother," a serious, dull voice said from the ground
in front of Carp.  "He's a just eager to make an impression."  Carp
looked down and saw a small mouse standing before him in the three-piece
suit.  "My name is Anteros."
	"Cool!" Carp exclaimed.  "It's a Brain rip-off!  Where's the Pinky
rip-off?"
	"Right here!" Eros exclaimed, jumping triumphantly from the folds of
Carp's dress.  "Aren't I cute?"
	"Adorable," Carp said.  "Now, what business did you gentlemen wish to
discuss?"
	"Well," Anteros said formally.  "I am a politician.  In fact, I am a
politician running for president.  And, as such, I require
some...backers to finance my campaign."
	"I see," Carp said.  "You need my money to pay for your commercials and
assasinate your competitors, and that sort of thing."
	"Yes," Anteros answered.  "In return, I suspect you will make me into
your own personal puppet."
	"Oh, of course," Carp answered.  "You are, after all, basically be
selling your soul for power.  You'll have to keep my causes in mind
above everything else."
	"What are your causes?"
	"Uh...me being rich," Carp answered.  "Also, I am opposed to people who
are not me being rich."
	"I see."
	"I also like sarcasm and anger.  Mocking is going to have to be a major
issue for you."
	"Right."
	"Oh, and the CLOWNS!" Carp exclaimed.  "You're going to have to do
something about those CLOWNS!"
	"Uh...sure thing."	
	"Hey!" Eros suddenly burst out.  "Aren't you supposed to be obsessed
with that Haruka-looking woman over there?"
	"Pfft!" Carp pffted.  "She means nothing to me now.  I got a closer
look at her legs, and they are not impressive!  In fact, they're
MEATY!"  He was yelling directly at Sib now.  "They're FLOPPY!  Like two
big floppy walruses walking around going flop flop flop flop!  Yeah, you
heard me!  Flop flop!"  He turned his attention back to Anteros.  "Your
offer intrigues me, but right now I must run away quickly," he said. 
"Please find me after I have finished with this scene of violence and
hilarity."  With that, he took off, with the quite pissed Sib in hot
pursuit.


Will Sib realize she's still over here, too, and continue this?  Will
Carp indirectly rule Otakuworld?  Why did the Republicans only applaud
when Clinton said something bad about Japan?  These questions and many
others will be answered on the next episode of...OW!98.



Flop flop flop.
Carp