Author: NeoMercury
[OW!] NeoAmi-chan Must Die!
Previously on OW!...
--Ferchan attempts to seduce NAC. Ew.
--Various other stuffs in the hospital room. Lots of dirty words. Double ew.
-=-
NeoMercury was not happy.
Granted, she had never been an entirely bright young thing, but she had the
sense to realize that something evil was afoot. She had a vague feeling, in
the pit of her stomach, that she couldn't quite explain.
It felt like...
...like watching her bluenette creation being seduced by a lesbian!
"Dear god!" said NeoMercury, preparing to leap from the hospital rooftop.
"This shall not stand!"
[Funeral March Scene Switch]
Frank gazed hungrily at NeoAmi-chan, the bluehaired goddess of his
nocturnal emissions. Surely, that ferret girl wouldn't mind him sneaking one
little touch! Just a comforting pat on the shoulder, to remind her that he'd
be there for her and all that good stuff.
Slowly, slowly, inch by inch, he reached his left hand towards her
shoulder...
slowly...
carefully...
"HANDS OFF!" Ferchan yelled, smacking him in the head.
"Owww," Frank whined, "That was harsh."
NeoAmi-chan would have commented if not for the generous amount of morphine
floating about in her system.
Suddenly, there came an anxious knock at the door. The bluenette's
seducers moved in unison, engaging in a brief fist fight for control of the
doorknob (which Ferchan won). A particularly smallish auburn-haired girl
dressed in light brown robes pushed past them and stomped into the room.
"What gives?" the blonde growled.
"I'm here on business. And it's none of yours."
"Oooh, she slammed you."
"Shut the hell up, Frank!"
NeoMercury stood over the bluenette, a pained expression on her face. "It
almost hurts me to let her go. ... Almost. Heeheeheeheehee!" That said, she
produced a rather large bazooka from underneath her robes, a maniac grin
spreading over the lower half of her face.
"What are you doing?!" Ferchan cried. "I still haven't finished seducing
her!"
"You can't kill her that way!" added Frank. "There's no dignity in it!"
"If you're going to get rid of her, at least do it with style."
"Oh." NeoMercury blinked a few times. "Huh...yes...well, I hadn't really
thought of that. I suppose it would be rather rude, wouldn't it?" She rubbed
her chin thoughtfully. "There must be a better way... Aha!"
[Wooo, spooky scene switch]
NeoAmi-chan was walking down the street when she suddenly tripped on a
banana peel and fell into a manhole. Then she died.
Ferchan waved her hands angrily. "No, no. Something big and fancy, not
some lame little death! Let's try something more like..."
[Ferchan's idea scene switch]
"Oh, woe is me!" cried NeoAmi-chan, collapsing on the balcony. "My love
for the great warrior surpasses everything in my life! But how can I go on
knowing she has done such a horrible deed?!"
"There there, my love," said the mighty warrior Ferchan, wiping the blood
off of her katana. "He deserved it."
"But he was... my husband!"
"Yeah. Well."
"And you, perhaps a simple flight of fancy... Oh, Frank, you were a fool
for challenging her! I cannot go on with this heavy burden upon my shoulders!
Goodbye, cruel world!"
"No. Please. Wait," Ferchan intoned dully. "Death is not the answer."
NeoAmi-chan gracefully hurled herself off the balcony and made contact with
the ground. Then she died.
"That sucks!" Frank yelled.
[Got a better idea? scene switch]
"Hi! NeoAmi-chan here on the Satellite of Love. Shame that this Lunakun
fellow and I seem to have been placed here for the sole purpose of suffering
through crappy fanfiction. But hey, we'll make the best of it. On to today's
poorly crafted skit..!"
NeoMercury patted the television screen affectionately. "Yup. Yeah. I
think this works well. And she looks good in a jumpsuit, I must say."
"That's so anticlimactic!" sighed Frank. "To trap her in public access
cable for the rest of her life..."[1]
"I know, but I get such a kick out of that cat! He's a bloody riot."
"Hi!" said Korb, bursting into the hospital room cheerily. He was carrying
a rather beaten Rooks over his shoulder. "I kicked his ass all on my own. It
was pretty cool!"
"Curses," croaked Rooks, "So close to...world...domination! So close
to...watching the blood...of the mortals...flow in the streets!"
"Hahahahahaha! That wacky Rooks!" laughed Frank.
"Hahahahahaha!" laughed everyone else.
I love a happy ending. Don't you?
[Sorry this is so long Scene Switch]
A tall, dark-haired man in a business suit entered the plush, plant-laden
office, glaring at the otaku seated before his desk. He narrowed his beady
eyes, distaste dripping from every pore as he took his own seat.
"I'm sorry," he said icily, "But you've all been cancelled."
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
*THUD*
*THUD*
*THUD*
*soft thud*
"Wow, guys. Thanks for breaking my fall!"
"Get off of me NOW, Korb."
"Hehe, sorry. ... Wait a minute, where are we now?"
"Errrm... wow, how weird. This doesn't look like any TV show *I've* ever
seen."
The five otaku (four, actually, with a still-reeling-Rooks on hand) gaped
silently at the cushy, happy, springtime field they'd just landed in. Off in
the distance was the sound of a thousand cows mooing contentedly, and further
off, the familiar and comforting noises of all-out warfare.
Ferchan wiped the tears of joy from her eyes. "Could it be...have we
suffered through the sitcom dimension long enough? Is Chaos' hold on us
finally gone?! Are...are we home?!"
--TBC I guess.
[1] Nightman may have my head for this, and he's welcome to. He gets the
credit anyhow.
This looks really, really, really bad, and I apologize. But I don't feel
right leaving NAC in OW! without Ryu. It's like, blasphemy or something. So
I'll just throw in a crappy avatar. Sorry. I suck.
--NeoMercury
--|O<
"That's it! That's a good name -- ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?"
--a sperm whale's last thoughts.
--|<3<Author: Dion Torraville
Re: [OW!][LONG] "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!!"
On Tue, 16 Nov 1999, Chris Kern wrote:
> -------
> LIKE, YA, LISTEN UP
>
> OK, listen up. I'm sitting her combing my hair, and thinking, "Hey,
> where are all my warriors?" And, like, a bunch of them are frozen in
> time, and the others are trapped in that stupid TV dimension!
>
> So, if you can fight, then you should for the Minpire! Yeah!
>
> Here's a complimentary Sailor V power drink!
> ------
"Woohoo!" Grandpa shouted before his liver blew up. "Free
Sailor V Power Drink! What a gal, might as well muck up some of these
*coughs* ads."
With that, he took out his magic marker and started his
"editting."
-------
ATTENTION FAITHFUL WARRIOR!
Now is the time of the greatest crisis! The mal-deficient Outer Senshi
Defense Force, supporters of the grapeness that is the outer senshi,
have declared car on the Minpire, supporters of the ditzy Minako.
*scribbled in* "We don't understand what they're talking about either,
but we suspect they've been drinkin' a bit too much from the
tap again, if ya know what we mean."
The Minpire would like to opress you by making an orange world where
airheaded blondes run open and free, and loyal supporters of your anus
("we mean Pluto") are jailed!
The Minpire would like to make Sailor V merchandise the only legal
goods in Otaku World!
The Minpire would like to have a Ditzocracy instead of a Democracy! And
admit it, you do too!
"The Minpire wants factions outlawed!" That I assure you is an utter
lie spread by the OSDF! We just want -most- factions outlawed!
The Minpire would like to force you to watch Minako episodes at least
twice a day!
The Minpire would outlaw any episodes that didn't feature at least 15
minutes of Minako!
The OSDF will lose this war. And when they do, wouldn't *you* like to
be on the winning side? We thought so! Join the Minpire today!!
P.S. Help a poor cigar. Bring animals.
-------
"Hehehe. That'll do it..." Grandpa chuckled, sent the modified
add to every Newspaper in the world, then died as his liver finally
exploded.
--
Dionysus
=)Author: Farix
[OW!] The Plot Revealed or Ramblings of a Starving Otaku?
Previously on Otaku Wars! - I haven't done a previously in oh so long. - The OSDF declares war on the Minpire. - Castle Nocturnæ is chaotically trashed. - Carp's Wuzzywumple is Chaos? @_@ And so our story continues... Leloni Bunny was getting worried. Not because Farix was staring off into space. In fact, he was actually watching the Red Otaku defend itself from two Minpire fighters. But because he has had not been munching on something for the past 10 minutes. Suddenly, the tension was broken as Farix promptly hit himself in the side of his head with his fist. Leloni was even more worried then before. "How can I be so stupid?" Farix finally spoke. "You're an Usagichanian. What did you expect? All be it a brainwashed Usagichanian, but an Usagichanian non the less," replied the bunny. Farix's golden eyes glared at Leloni for a second before returning to his train of though. "No, I mean how could we all be so easily duped?" Farix tried to clarify as he gazed back at the Red Otaku. "Well, maybe not all of us." Leloni was unsure as to what this white haired freak was talking about. "Come to think of it," Farix continued, "it so damn simple, why shouldn't it work? But now I know. I know his plan. I know how to defeat Chaos." Leloni wondered if food deprivation was driven this freak into insane. "The Seventh Sense of Humor, was not THE key. Only a part of it," Farix continued to ramble. Leloni was getting a little irritated at Farix's rambling. She clearly though that he had lost his mind. "But by fighting Chaos, we are foolishly following his cleverly laid plans to end the wars." "What the HELL are you talking about!" Leloni finally exclaimed not sure whether to take him to a shrink or put him out of his misery. "What do you fight for?" Farix finally asked switching his gaze from the spaceborn submarine to the lavender rabbit. "For Mako-chan, of course," Leloni answered, a bit surprised that this Usagichanian brainwashed into a Reichanian had the gull to ask such a question. "What do you REALLY fight for?" Farix asked again. "I don't understand what your trying to get at?" Leloni confessed. "It's as plain as the noses on our faces," Farix continued to be rather cryptic. "You see, if Chaos wins, he wins and the wars end. But what everyone hasn't realize is, if he looses, he still wins and the wars end. It's not the end that Chaos is concerned about, but the means to that end." "I think you need to eat something before you loose any more brain cells," Leloni responded. To be continued... Farix
Author: I Abibde
Re: [OW!] A Would-Be Traitor
[This response was written as a reply to Aureal's post on this thread, which I can't quite find on Deja News. Have fun!] Aureal: >"CHIBIUSA?!?!?!?!" she shrieked in a towering fury. "How DARE they >feature someone other than Mercury-sama in a story about her?!?!?!" >SuperSteve and Nic-chan sweatdropped slightly as the two Amichanians >on either side of them both suddenly brought their attention to bear >on them. The Mad Dwarf slowly drew a manila folder out of his blue raincoat, and carefully tucked "Liberating the Water" (definitely one of the Sailor Mercury "classics") into it, making sure that not a single page was wrinkled. He then put the folder back into his coat, and turned to face Super Steve, his sworn enemy. This time, there would be a reckoning. I Abibde looked to Aureal, who nodded once. He then reached into his coat again, tossed her something that looked like a miniature Super Soaker filled with jelly beans. She gave him a quizzical look, but he explained, "If you are Aureal, my fellow Amichanian and I believe that you are, that will be of great use to you." He himself had recovered his squirt gun, which was still filled with toilet water. The opening theme music to "Dream On" began to play. Super Steve was saved by two things. First, B.O.W.E.L. 9000, the thoroughly rude computer that had sprayed chicken noodle soup everywhere, decided to dump a metric ton of beef stew on the Mad Dwarf, all the while chuckling madly to itself. Second, Aureal slipped on a plushie as she rushed forward, and jelly beans went everywhere. Victory had been achieved without firing a real shot, it seemed. The short one screamed, running around in circles, "This is hot! Hot! HOT!" He then ran right into the reactor column, and more obnoxious alarms sounded. Since there were no more plushies to spew forth, the security system decided to start opening a random airlock, and blast all the troublemakers into space. They could all see it irising open with painful slowness. B.O.W.E.L. 9000 said to the group, "That's it, I'm through dealing with you crazy Otaku Warriors. I hope you implode when you get sucked out into the void!" It then said no more, as Tenchi had wriggled free of Nic-chan's coils, and had plunged his fascinating sword into the computer's memory bank, causing to say as it went offline, "No, no! I could've been a villain! ARGH!" In the distance, Bill Gates wept without knowing why. Aureal looked at the rather beefy midget, who was still running around in pain, and began to worry that the Amichanians would soon be losing two of their members. The airlock, meanwhile, continued to open slowly, and the other Otaku Warriors were already hard at work looking for a solution to the problem. To be continued, hopefully. Le soldat bleu en exil, I Abibde (The Mad Dwarf)
Author: Soumitra Choudhury
Re: [OW!] The Plot Revealed or Ramblings of a Starving Otaku?
Farix wrote: [snip] > "It's as plain as the noses on our faces," Farix continued to be rather > cryptic. "You see, if Chaos wins, he wins and the wars end. But what > everyone hasn't realize is, if he looses, he still wins and the wars end. > It's not the end that Chaos is concerned about, but the means to that end." > > "I think you need to eat something before you loose any more brain cells," > Leloni responded. And suddenly, Farix was tackled from behind by a cutely shrill cry of "Arigato!" Well, actually, it was the cutely shrill cry AND an elf. "Hargle!" he sputtered, lying on his back, noticing with some discomfort that a wonderfully pert elven girl was straddling him, a shining grin of joy on her face. "Arigato!" she repeated in a voice that rang like silver bells. Farix had never heard silver bells, so he couldn't make the comparison. Leloni Bunny blinked a couple times to make sure she was seeing things correctly, going so far as to pull a whisker. 'Yep, still awake,' she thought at the ensuing sting of pain. "Who are you, and how dare you tackle my friend!" The elf turned to the bunny with a confused expression, the tips of her six-inch ears wiggling. "That's a question and a statement in one sentence. I'm impressed." Farix gulped nervously, for he was getting that warm, fuzzy feeling at the proximity of this young women. "Er, if you don't mind..." He wiggled his fingers in an indication to rise, though his hands were pinned beneath her knees. "Oh my, of course not." She leaned over, kissed him soundly on his lips, and rose off of him, offering her hand to help him up. "Nani?!?!" Leloni cried, taken aback by the elf's affrontery... and, was that an inkling of the green-eyed monster known as Jealousy on her shoulder? *SMACK* No, I guess not. Dazed and confused, and blushing none too gently, Farix got to his feet. "Uh, er, umm..." The bunny narrowed her eyes. "Yeeeeeesssss?" "Er, who, um, are you?" The bunny nodded approvingly, then returned her attention to the seeming intruder. Posing idol-like, the elf girl responded. "I'm Syn, and you freed me to the world, for which I thank you profusely!" She grinned a dimpled grin that made Farix's knees weak. "Uh huh," Leloni Bunny muttered, rolling her eyes. "And how exactly did you show up here? How do we know your not some spy for the Minpire, or the OSDF for that matter, or," and here she gasped in mock fright, "Chaos himself?!" Syn snorted delicately, tapping her French beret to make sure it wasn't out of place. "Because I'm a Setsunasamaian. How else could I be a master of chronomancy, and Setsuna-sama's Maid of Honor?" "Oh, well that makes sense... wait, what?" Ignoring the bunnyish bafflement, Syn wrapped her arms around Farix's neck in a rather close embrace. "So, my savior, how are we going to keep the wars going? Huh?" "Huh?" he spluttered, her warm breath on his chin drawing a disconcerting amount of sweat on his brow. Syn pouted, pulling back. "You know, in order to hammer out a plan, you're going to have to speak in more than one syllable words." She turned to Leloni. "You seem the more rational of the two, Bunny-chan. How would you keep the wars going?" Leloni Bunny plopped down on her rump, pulling at her whispers in consternation. 'A carrot. Maybe I could use a carrot. No, too cliched. V8. V8 would hit the spot.' She glanced up at the elf girl again, who grinned back, burgundy eyes shining merrily. She even waved. Leloni Bunny sighed, then tried again. "You say you're a Setsunasamaian. Doesn't that put you on the side of the OSDF?" "OSDF? No." She frowned slightly. "I don't mind them, I suppose, but they don't have to do with Pluto." "But I thought-" Syn shook her head. "That seems to be a common misconception. Pluto is not an Outer Senshi. She's OUTSIDE the Senshi, as is all of Time. That's why her orbit is off kilter." "You're losing me again," Bunny muttered. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. All that DOES matter is that this sweet, delectable man," Syn cooed, running a hand over Farix's chest, "let me get out and about by saying the magic words." "The magic words?" "Yes. He said 'if Chaos wins, he wins and the wars end. But what everyone hasn't realize is, if he looses, he still wins and the wars end.' He's the only one, so far, who's hit the nail with the hammer, and that's why I'm here." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why are you here?" Syn groaned. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm hear to help you ignore Chaos so you can continue the Otaku Wars!" To be continued... PS: I hope no one is bothered by this. ^_^ Meech Mk III Immortally Rei's
Author: Chris Kern
[OW!] Further dealings of the lounge lizards
Last time on OW! - The OSDF and Minpire dropped propaganda pamphlets. - Ryu made his exit. - Neo Ami-chan was trapped in pay cable land forever. - Scuffle in the Red Otaku's engine room. - Events at Castle Nocturne. - D'ni goes dimension traveling, and meets her future self. - Probably some other stuff. The Mr. K Doll was not happy. Not happy at all. He could feel it inside that the fools had managed to escape his TV dimension. He did chuckle to himself, thinking about how the Meshiya would never escape. In that, perhaps, he did succeed. But his current location made him more angry than that simple joy could dispel. He was inside of a shoebox in the lounge of the Red Otaku, lying next to several plushies of various shapes and sizes. The box had been securely taped up by that mega man guy, and all attempts so far to escape had proved fruitless. Meanwhile, in the lounge, Mr. K collapsed on to one of the chairs. "Whew," he panted. "Fighting a double of yours certainly is tiring." The ferret was growling contentedly under Makoto's fingers again. "K," she said, "Where did you get this animal? He's so nice!" "He does seem to behave better around you," replied Mr. K. "Usually he's rude and obnoxious." The ferret stopped growling, and looked up at Mr. K. There were tears in his eyes. "That...that hurts me! Rude? Obnoxious? I am simply misunderstood! Mako-chan is the first one to realize the needs I have!" "To be groped by a babe, right?" said Mr. K. "Hey!" yelled Makoto. "*What* did you call me?" "Er, gomen," said Mr. K, blushing. "During my time here, under Mako-chan's talented fingers, I have finally realized the emptiness that I felt before. Now....now I am truly happy!" The ferret tried to stand up on his hind legs, but fell to the ground. "Aww, poor thing," said Makoto, picking him up. Mr. K was narrowing his eyes at the diminuitive animal, trying to discover whether the ferret was just lying in hopes of getting further with Makoto, or whether he had truly misjudged the ferret. Then his eyes wandered to the empty vodka bottle and the stogie ends. Back inside the box, the doll had an epiphany. Wait! Even though the Mr. K Doll was now chaos-possessed, he still possessed the teleport power that he had been given in the beginning. He tried to reach out to Tom Green, but found nothing. Something had happened to the fool. The Mr. K doll shrugged, and invoked the power to teleport back to his previous host. Mr. K suddenly found the doll in his lap. "Gaah!" he screamed. "Now you curse the day you built that teleport function, right?" said the doll, his eyes lighting red. "Oh ho! Where are all your friends? Left you alone in the lounge? Worthless Mr. K. Hah hah hah!" "I may be worthless," replied Mr. K. "But I'm not alone! She can fight!" Mr. K pointed at Makoto. "Umm...sure!" said Makoto, standing up. "I'll kick you into oblivion!" "Why don't you transform?" asked Mr. K. "Something's missing...." said Makoto, looking puzzled. "Henshin yo!" shouted the ferret. "That's it!" cried Makoto. "JUPITER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!" Time stopped while the authors watched her transformation scene. Jupiter then struck a pose and began her speech. "Dolls are for cuddling and fun, not for use by the evil forces of Chaos! In Jupiter's name, I'll punish you!" Meanwhile, the ferret's eyes were bulging at Jupiter's miniskirt. Mr. K was still seated on the couch. "What do you think you're going to do to me?" asked the Mr. K doll. Jupiter walked over to the doll and put her hand on the doll's head. "Go back in your shoebox or I'll give you the shock of a lifetime." The doll's eyes began to glow red. "That's it," said Jupiter. "SUPREME THUNDER!" Mr. K stood up. "Ano...that's not such a good idea..." It was too late. The little antenna on Jupiter's tiara had already extended, and thunder shot down from the heavens. Unfortunately, before it got to Jupiter it hit the Red Otaku's hull, and a jolt of electricity ran through the sub. Anyone who happened to be touching the walls at the moment received a small jolt. But in the engine room, things were worse. The electricity had a most unfortunate effect on the engine, causing sparks to fly. The entire Red Otaku shuddered, and the engines began to fail. RMX saw this on a viewscreen from the HSB. "Nic-chan, what's happening?" he said. Unfortunately the snake Nic-chan could not respond. "Gomen, gomen!" shouted Jupiter, as she began to wail (Usagi-style) and flash back and forth between SD-mode. "Don't worry, baby," said the ferret, in a deep voice. "We all make mistakes. Just gimme tonight, baby. We got to keep on pushing love..." Everyone stopped and looked at the ferret. "What?" said the ferret. TBC? -Chris
AuthorL Nightman
[Beyond NS] Re: [OW!] NeoAmi-chan Must Die!
The following is an incomplete post I have been trying to finish since about last week Thursday. Since NeoAmi-chan's not around any more, I figured I might as well toss it out for whatever cheap laughs its worth. Besides, it explains the footnote in NeoMercury's post. Also, this was begun before the OSDF took off from the site of SBC where the dimensional trap was sprung. - Nightman ----- [OW!] The Eighth Hell of Cable Programming The Mr. K doll was very happy. Even though large mean people like SuperSteve and his accursèd[1] OSDF held him captive, the Joukigen no Meshiya and most of the otaku who were conveniently close by her when his trap was sprung were still trapped in the Television Universe, or Televerse. "Great, so now we got this little dwarf guy out of the TV world. There's still a lot of people in there," said RockManX. "Like I said before," lied the Mr. K doll, "they have to go thru the seven sects of the Televerse." Of course, the truth was, there were actually...eight. Somewhere in the Televerse... [Fade in] "...the -Bleep?-" demanded Ferchan as the scene abruptly faded into resolution. She looked around. She appeared to be in a castle hallway. She couldn't quite remember where she was last, and how she got where now was seemed pretty hazy too. Rather than simply accept her fate, however, she made her thoughts resoundingly clear. "Hey! Who the -Bleep- put me here? and what the -Bleep- is going on? Hey! -Bleep-head, I'm talking to you! Yes YOU!" She spun around looking for someone to blame. Seeing noone, she said, "Awww, -Bleep!- a duck! What the -Bleep- is with all these 'bleeps' when I say words like -Bleep,- -Bleep,- or even -Bleeping Bleep!?-" A shadowy figure with Big Kooky Hair walked into a nearby doorway, and in a childish voice as disturbing as nails on a blackboard said, "Hey! You can't say words like -Bleep- on public access!" Ferchan turned unerrringly to the camera and said, "AAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!" as the camera zoomed in and out for cheesy comedic effect. Elsewhere, NeoAmi-chan found herself climbing a metal ladder. She didn't know how she got there or what she'd been doing last. She just had a vague memory of feeling so thin she could fade away, and a small naked dancing dwarf. She really didn't want to remember more than that. At the top of the ladder, she found a metal iris blocking the way into the next room. She pushed the control, which looked rather disturbingly home-made, and the door irised open. Standing in the next room was a large nekkid man, and a slender goateed youth in a black jumpsuit cowering at the sight. A brown and white cat, its back arched in fight-or-flight response was on the counter between them. "Argh! No... can't bear... the sight..." gasped the jumpsuit-clad youth. NeoAmi-chan spotted a tarp in the corner of the hallway, grabbed it and threw it over the large nekkid man (who, it should be pointed out, was being electronically masked). "Whoa, Momma!" yelped Harold in a Johnny Bravo voice as the tarp drifted down over him. "Where am I?" asked NeoAmi-chan, eager to find out what was going on now that the situation was diffused. "Well, you're trapped on the Satellite Of Boredom, or 'SOB' as I like to call it," he youth answered. "We've been trapped here by one of the evillist women in the universe and on a weekly basis she tortures us by sending us bad--" "Movies?" asked NeoAmi-chan. "Movies?" replied the cat in surprise. NeoAmi-chan noted that the cat had a black crescent moon mark on its head. Strange, she thought to herself. The cat seemed at least a little...familiar. "We don't have the budget for movies. Nope, she sends us bad fanfics, which we read and scathingly comment on." "Oh in the name of the great Mizuno! That's horrible!!" exclaimed NeoAmi-chan. "Yeah, well, we do wacky skits to liven things up," replied the jumpsuit-wearing youth. He looked at Harold, who was flailing around helplessly under the tarp. "Not usually *that* wacky." All nodded in agreement. "So... who are you?" she finally asked. "Oh, I'm Joel (Just 'Joel') and this is Lunakun. And the evil woman--" At that moment, the monitor turned on. On it appeared Ferchan, who was now dressed in a regulation Evil Helper uniform (slacks, jacket AND black gloves!). She stood next to a familiar pink-haired figure with red eyes who wore a black dress. "Gajeway! I've got a new fanfic for you!" squealed Wicked Lady. Ferchan washed her hands in glee and nodded. A guy wearing a robe and whose face was covered in cold-cream walked into the scene. He was holding a bowel of Jello. "I should be the one in the uniform," protested Frank. "Then I could be "Fanfics' Frank!" "Shut-up, Jello Guy!" squeaked Wicked Lady. "Just beam them the fanfic that's gonna kill them!!" "Jello Guy" shrugged and took some pages out of his pocket. He fed them into a fax machine, and onboard the SOB, the fanfic warning lights went off. "Oh no! We've got fanfic! The horror! The Horrrorrrrrr!" wailed Lunakun. He, Joel, and NeoAmi-chan ran down the hallway as assorted doors opened before them and they arrived...at a dead end. However, duct-taped to the wall was a puzzled Dur Korben Durok. "Oh right," said Joel. "We couldn't afford to build a theater set so we just stand around the fax machine and read the fics." "This is a TV program???" demanded NeoAmi-chan in disbelief as she started pulling the tape off DKD. "Public access," explained Lunakun. "Oy vey," she said. They trudged back up the hall to the main room. Meanwhile DKD cut a hole in the tarp so Harold could sit there with the tarp draped over him like a serape. (And if you'd have read El Pegaso's WG you'd know what that is!!) As NeoAmi-chan and Joel arrived back in the main room, the paper began to roll off the fax. Joel picked up the top page and read the title: "SAILOR MOON: Pain, by Jon Carp." All color left his face and his mouth dropped open. In unison, he and NeoAmi-chan began to scream. TBC! (Yes, I know it's an inconvenient place to stop, but hey! [1] For the charset impaired, if you see a question mark here, it is actually an e with a gravè... er, downsloping accent. :)
Author: Tenchi
Re: [OW!] A Would-Be Traitor