Journey
A Sailor Moon Fanfic
by Kaoru
This is my first fanfic. I've always wondered what happened to Naru and what she felt about everything. This is my version of what happens. The story fits in after the establishment of Crystal Tokyo, but before the Black Moon Family attacks, and I have used the Japanese names 'cause I like them better. So there. :)
Please send fan mail, junk mail and black mail to: namikata@oocities.com
Last revised: Gee I can't remember...
Standard legal stuff:
Sailor Moon and all related characters are the property of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation, Nakayoshi and probably some other companies. They are used without permission, so pleeeeeease don't sue me!!
It is a clear night tonight. The clouds have passed, giving me a good view of the night sky from my seat at the window.
Usagi... no, I should call you Neo-Queen Serenity. Do you remember me? You'll be twenty-four this year, as will I. It seems so long ago that I first met you in Juuban Junior High. We were the best of friends. We would sit beside one another in class, go shopping together and share lunches, though you would always take the larger share. Those were the days.
Then one day my mother (or so I thought) attacked me in her jewellery store. I had passed out, but I faintly recalled that a girl by the name of Sailor Moon saved my life. I met her several times after, but always with the nagging feeling that I had met her long before she ever appeared. Little did I know that she was you, Usagi. Oh, my friend, you had me fooled for so long!
One by one your team assembled. It did not occur to me what a coincidence it was that with the appearance of each new Sailor Senshi, your circle of friends grew: Ami, Rei, Makoto and Minako. I was so caught up with the heroism of the Bishoujo Senshi that I did not notice a widening gulf develop between us. Though we still took the same seats in class, I saw you less and less often after school. I reasoned that you were spending time with your new friends, getting to know them better. How right I was! At the time I kept saying to myself I should let you get along with other people. It was good to have many friends and to do things together with them, but I never expected to be replaced. It was so subtle and silent I didn't notice it. For a while at least.
The sky is beautiful tonight... the stars... infinite and unfathomable. Nephrite. My first and only love...
The first time I saw him, I knew there was something special about him. He called himself Sanjouin Masato, and appeared to be a successful businessman. You warned me about him, Usagi, but I didn't listen, because I believed my heart could never deceive me. I loved him so much I was willing to lay down my life for him. I nearly did once, had you not stopped your tiara from hitting me just in time.
Then came that fateful night where he revealed himself to be an agent of the Dark Kingdom. I was shocked that this man whom I had fallen madly in love with could be evil, but when he saved me from my kidnappers that night, I understood that he truly loved me as well. As we sat in the park, I tended to his wounds. That was the happiest moment of my life. I will forever remember the sound of his laughter, the sweetest sound in the world. What was to come next however, would be etched in my mind for eternity, like a crack in an otherwise perfect mirror, an utter nightmare.
It happened so fast. One moment we were talking, and the next... I couldn't just leave him at the mercy of those monsters. The sight of those thorns impaled in his shoulder... I couldn't leave him. Despite the searing pain, I tried to extract them. I had to save my beloved Nephrite, even if he was evil. I had to! But in the end, I was helpless as I watched him die, his warm body turning into stardust in my arms. I wished to God that I could have died with him that night, my darling Nephrite. If only I hadn't insisted on going into the park! If only I hadn't talked so much... If only... if only those Sailor Senshi had gotten there in time, he would still be alive today! Why did it have to end this way?
Usagi... you were there to comfort me in my time of loss. At that time I doubted you could understand the grief I was going through, but you knew well enough, you had been there. You and Umino, trying to make me feel better. For that, I am more grateful than you will ever know.
Dear, sweet Umino, my little angel in those endearing glasses. He started pursuing me soon after. I thought that I could love another, but I was wrong. I was so overcome by grief that I needed someone, anyone, whom I could find solace in. It was all right for while, but I soon realized I was only using Umino to make myself feel better. It was a selfish, false love, and if this went on, either he or I would be unable to take the stress. I asked him out and told him bluntly that I never loved him, which was true, and that we should break up. Looking back, I could have let him down more gently. No, I _should_ have let him down more gently. I broke his heart... I'm so sorry, Umino.
I kept to myself after that. I knew it hurt everyone dear to me to see me so upset, especially you, Usagi. You would never tell me how sorry you were, and how you wished you could put everything right, but deep down I knew anyway. Your chance came when you defeated the Dark Kingdom. You wished for everything to be normal, as if nothing had ever happened. Time rearranged itself, and I forgot Nephrite.
All was well until four years ago, when you created a new order out of the old: Crystal Tokyo. You became Queen, with your love by your side. You, of all people! I would never have expected my graceless, bumbling best friend to become the all-powerful goddess you are today. Your power swept through the chaos of the old world, restoring the beauty of the Earth. What you did not expect was that as the change enveloped the world, it brought back the memories I had lost. They returned like a tidal wave, kept back by a dam unable to bear the mass of water behind it. I was completely overwhelmed; I think I was actually unconscious for a few days. When I awoke, my head throbbed. Then it hit me hard. How stupid it was of me not to have deduced it in the first place! You, Tsukino Usagi, were Sailor Moon!
Suddenly, everything was clear to me. You couldn't have had time for me all those years ago in Juuban, you were out protecting the world from evil! I railed at you, but I would never let you know it. Why couldn't you have told me? I would have understood! I would never have questioned our friendship! Why, dammit Usagi, didn't you trust me? Why did you shut me out? WHY DID YOU LET NEPHRITE DIE!!!!
For a while I was angry with you and angry with myself. You, my best friend, caused me to lose the people dearest to me. Some fighter for love and justice you were! I lost sleep over recurring nightmares of Nephrite, Umino and even my mother disappearing one by one, and I was powerless to stop it. I was so jealous of you and your king in your flawless crystal palace. I hated you, and I hated myself for hating you. I sought counselling, but only succeeded in confusing myself further. Drugs didn't help either. It was not until I almost tried to kill myself that I began to think things through.
I understand now that you were trying to protect me as best you could. It was selfish of me to think only of myself. I have failed you as a friend, and I shall never be able to face you again. That is why I've decided to leave this place. My flight has arrived. Tonight I shall leave this city, the place where I was born, where I grew up, and where my pain resides. The rain stopped hours ago, and the wet runway looks like a river of gems, reflected from the lights of the airport. The flight attendant checks my ticket. Osaka Naru. I will change that soon, when I reach where I'm going. A new identity, a new life...
The plane takes off. It climbs higher and higher, until it cruises just below the heavens. I am as close to the stars, and my love, as I will ever get. The plane passes over the palace of Serenity, resplendent and glittering even in the faint light. Sleep well tonight my Queen, my love to you and all those around you.
Goodbye... Usagi, Sailor Moon, Serenity... my friend.
Author's notes:
Well, there you have it, Depressing story, right?
Now you know what it feels like to have a superheroine for a friend.
Hope you liked it!
The source code of this page and text of this fic are copyright Namikata Kaoru 1997. No unauthorized reproductions please!
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