The worst place to be in your life is when you don't want to 
live and you don't want to die.  Giving up not making anything
to make your life better, just existing.  Walking down a hallway
with a blank stare on your face, just waiting, waiting to die or 
waiting for some miraculous miracle to happen to give you a 
reason to live.  I don't want to go to hell but I'm headed there 
anyway and it sux.  I don't know why I just don't kill myself, 
why would it matter, no one would really care.  Getting up in 
the morning just to go to a school you hate just to escape your 
family.  When you can't talk to your family, that sux too.  They 
get on your case about it and make it look like you don't want 
to talk to them when in fact you would if you could, but you 
feel like you can't trust them, so you don't. Then they dig 
their way down to the bottom of whatever and they make hell for 
you. Then you blame yourself for not having enough will power or 
tolerance to resist them and keep it from them.  And then you 
think to yourself: "well if I didn't tell her 'this' then 'this' 
wouldn't have happened.  You want to run but there is no where 
to go and finally you've lost all faith and hope that you ever 
had in God or life.  You don't care about school anymore because 
your just waiting, waiting to die, nothing matters.  Soon enough 
you can't cry anymore because you've used up all your tears and 
every time you get something you like you fear you may lose it.  
Pretty soon you are standing in front of a mirror wondering why 
the hell your here.  Just taking up space?  Then before you know 
it your sitting on down on your bed with a razor in your hand 
pointed toward your wrist.  Then a flash and tide come through 
of reasons you shouldn't do it, but then you go and make that 
first little cut.  Then the feeling overwhelm you as you throw 
the weapon across the room as hard as you can and fall to your 
bed to cry once more.  Then you go on existing, not caring if 
someone kicks your ass, not caring if you fall down a flight of 
steps or get hit by a car, nothing matters to you anymore.  Sure 
you may keep up with good hygiene and try to look good, but then 
you figure: "why am I wasting my time?"  But it doesn't matter 
because that's all you ever do anymore, you waste your time.  
All moral values are lost and you could care less if you get 
drunk or high, as a matter of fact you want to do one or both.  
You want to escape but there's nowhere to go, friends lost, 
grades dropped, family sux, there's nothing left.  Oh yeah, they 
say give it to Jesus, pray, read, and trust in God as if you 
don't already know.  Duh.  But it doesn't matter, because you 
have no ambition.  And because no matter how much they tell you 
how God will not forsake you and no matter how much you ever 
knew it you either believe it has happened or else God just 
wants to torture you.  You don't have any compassion anymore, 
because you don't want to care for anyone else except maybe for 
someone new, perhaps a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Yeah right!  
You wish, like anyone could care about you, your pathetic and 
you know it, but you still don't care.  Then you start to loose 
your nerve completely, you don't put up any fight, you just 
exist to take what comes to you and let it in one ear and out 
the other.  Then you close your eyes and daydream of things that 
could never be.  You blame yourself for being yourself, as if 
being who you are is a sin.  Then you want to pound your fist 
into your locker a million times over and throw yourself up 
against a wall, and if someone sees you don't care, to hell with 
them, they all hate you anyway.  What I say is: "I don't want to 
kill myself to escape this hell just to enter an other one."  
When your dying inside and no one seems to care you feel 
worthless.  When you want your friends to talk to you about 
their problems and they don't, you feel like no one needs you.  
You want to cry, hide, scream, and let the whole world know that 
you too are human, just like them.  But they think they are 
better than you, but they are not, no one is better than 
anyone.  It is only the choices we make, and how we react to 
situations in  life that makes us better off than the next 
person.  Yet still, no one is better than anyone, make them a 
saint, a murdered, a child, a college graduate or a wise man.  
Everyone is human, and every person has feelings.  Some are 
suppressed, some are worn on their sleeve, some are spoken out 
loud but no one will listen.  Isn't it sad?  How long this world 
has existed and we as people still do not know how to peacefully 
co-exist with one an other in a mannerly fashion?  If everyone 
would realize that everyone is equal as human beings and pride 
is a bad thing that should be pulled away from mankind, it would 
make life easier for everyone.  The bottom line is: No one is 
greater than anyone, and everyone has feelings and its no ones 
place to judge or ridicule any person.  We are all human, and at 
times we do and say things that we do not mean, but we are all 
good or were deep down at one time or an other.