Sarah woke up sometime later, she was till exhausted but 
couldn't bring herself to sleep again, so she got up and stood 
looking out the window, watching the rain come down.  So she 
thought, Alan, her friend, loved her so much that he'd actually 
put up with her.  But why?  This whole thing, she was so 
confused, scared, what was going on?  Her heart was beating fast 
and she had a headache.  Chuck was dead and here was this guy 
ready and willing to help her pick up the pieces?  No way.  She 
hated this, she didn't understand, why her? To herself she was 
changing into this terrible bitch that was hard to please, was 
he here?  She didn't deserve him and any other guy would just 
up and leave if something this drastic happened.  In sickness 
and in health, till death do us part, that was all a fantasy to 
her.  Who could possibly care for her that much?  How?  She kept 
right on questioning herself , this was all driving her insane.  
Her thoughts alternated present with past, almost all negative, 
Chucks death and Alan supposedly caring for her.

	She felt the warmth of someone's arms go around her 
waist.  It was a gentle touch, it was Alan, no one else would 
ever touch her like that.  She sank to her knees in utter 
disbelief, taking her face in her hands, hiding.  Alan's body 
followed hers to the floor.  She begged him, "Tell me you hate 
me and I'm crazy, go on...tell me!"  Now he was confused....
"Sarah..." his voice was patient.  "TELL ME!" she 
screamed, shuttering at her own words.  "You'll leave me, just 
like everyone else, that you want to hurt me, say it!"  Her 
voice was demanding.  "Sarah, I love you."  There was a pause 
and he continued, "And no matter what you do or what you become 
I will always feel that way." 
 
"No, no....." she was shaking her head back and forth, "NO" She 
was hysterical, "you can't get to me, you can't have me, I won't 
be hurt, not again!"  She got up again and made her way down the 
stairs, stumbling a little.  He followed her.  She was far ahead 
of him though, she got to the game room and locked herself in.  
In her sub-conscience she was rejecting him, although part of 
her wanted nothing more than to be with him.  In her heart she 
wanted to believe what he said was true but her mind 
contradicted any possibility that it might be. 

	"Sarah let me in, let me in now, don't do this to 
yourself, please"  she fell to the corner on the opposite side 
of the room, she was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably, she 
didn't want this, not now, not ever, she hated herself.  It was 
her fault Chuck was dead, she rejected him.  The reality was too 
much for her, she began clawing at her wrists as if to do away 
with the mistake that was brought into this world 18 years ago.  
The door was broken in and Alan was across the room in a 
second.  He took a hold of both her wrists and pulled them apart 
from one another. "Would you calm down?"  This time his voice 
was stern, yet still loving.  She looked up at him teary
eyed, "why?"  she asked, her voice trembling, "why do you care?  
You heard what happened to Chuck."  

"Why?" he repeated, "that wasn't your fault and because I love 
you, that's why, and there isn't anything you can do to change 
that so stop trying to change it."

"What?" she looked confused.

"That I love you"

"You love me?"  Her voice was half sarcastic as well as choked up.

"Yes, with all my heart"

"I don't understand" she did though, but should could not accept 
it.
"You don't have to understand, just accept it!" he told her.

She looked at him...he knew her well.  Suddenly she collapsed 
onto his chest.  "I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry."

"I'm scared to death, please don't go." she was crying again.

"I'm not going to leave you, not now."

"Why?"

"Because if I'd hurt you I'd be hurting myself"  She looked at 
him funny.  "I love you so much that when you cry I want to cry 
not because I'm sad but because you are.  The last thing I would 
want to do it hurt you."

"Honest?"

"Look into my eyes if you don't believe me."
When she looked into his eyes she saw nothing but a pure heart, 
something she never saw in anyone else, none of her old 
boyfriends were like him.  The search was over, there was 
someone just like her.  Was.  She was different now.  She needed 
to get back to herself again.  Back to being a romantic, to 
being a loving girl so she wouldn't screw this up for
herself.  "I want to be different.  Help me to go back to the 
way I was"  He smiled at her, "okay, start off by letting me 
love you, everything else should follow naturally."  He winked 
at her then.  She looked at him again and sighed heavily, "if 
you say so..."   

	With that answer he wrapped his arms around her once 
more and kissed her forehead.  "You can do anything you set your 
mind to, and I'll be here for you to fall back on, just come to 
me" he told her.  She nodded, fatigued, Again they would fall 
asleep, only this time they would wake up together and 
everything would be alright. 

                                The End