Dumb Laws!
By Kakyuu


Tamy has been sending me e-mails that list all the stupid laws each state
has...and well, it inspired me a bit!! What started out as a little short
piece, has been getting more and more add ons, as she sends me more and more
forwards! So, now I present to you, what Tamy affectionately titled: The
Scribes Do America!


Zarkon: Guess I better become a state!!
Michelle bops him over the head with her mallet: Shut up, I just ate!!


God those bans on sex would really piss off Lotor!!
Example: Lotor has managed to seperate blue lion from Voltron, causing it to crash into planet Earth. Eagerly he rushes over to it, popping open the hatch, and landing next to his beloved's side.
Smoothing back the hair from her face, he cradles her unconscious body in his arms. "At last she is mine!!" He closes his eyes, and slowly moves in to kiss her lips.
Just as he is about to touch mouths with her, a banging is heard on blue lion's hatch. Annoyed, he peeks out, to see a nerdy looking police man, complete with brown, tortsie shell bifocals, and a cowlick hairdo!!
Lotor: What do you want?! Can't you see I'm busy?!"
Cop: Sr, I'm afraid I'll have to give you a citation.
Lotor: For what?!
Cop: It is illegal to kiss a woman when she's asleep.
Lotor: What?! You mean I'm not allowed to kiss a woman on the lips when she's slumbering?!
Cop: That's right sir, and if you persist, I'm afraid you'll have to pay a fine.
Lotor: To hell with your blasted fines!! This is the best way to wake up captive princesses!! He pauses, a sexy smirk crossing his face. "Except for kissing their breasts....."
Cop: You kiss women's breasts?
Lotor (proudly) YES!!
Cop: And I suppose you have sex in other positions besides the missionary position?
Lotor: I've even created a few positions of my own!
Cop extremly angry now: I suppose you have had oral sex performed on you as well?
Lotor: Better believe it!!
Cop slams down his foot in frustration: That does it!! You're under arrest!!
Lotor: What the hell are you talking about now?!
Cop: All that is illegal in this state!!
Lotor: You're crazy!!
Cop dragging him away from Allura; Come on, we'll cure you of these habits in sing sing. Maybe you'll even get Clinton as a cell mate.
Lotor pulls his arm away, reaching for his sword. Cop: Resisitng arrest, I see?!
Lotor: Damn straight!! in fact.....I'm gonna take over this damn planet!! We'll see how you like those silly sex laws thrown in your face!! He makes a mad dash for his cruiser. The cop chases in hot pursuit: Is that your vechile?! It's illegaly parked!!
Lotor screams in rage: That does it!! I'll blow this place off the map......Mega Thrusters are go!! ^_^

Indiana Dumb Laws

<< * Oral sex is illegal. >>

Lotor: Hagger!! Indiana must be destroyed as well!!
Hagger: Sire, I am running out of robeasts......
Lotor: Silence!! It is worth it to destroy these stiff sex *offenders*!
Hagger glances at the other laws: Baths may not be taken Between the months of October and March. Guess this must be where Zarkon was raised as a little boy. It would explain quite a lot......

You can be legally married by publically introducing a
person as your husband or wife 3 times.
Tamy, get out of there!! Zarkon just found out that law, and he's
breaking all the light speed limits to get there, and make you his wife!! (So
far, only Doom knows about his three wives...he aims to let the whole galaxy
know now!!)Hagger's in hot pursuit.....so's Mum-ra!


TEXAS Dumb Laws...

It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
Hagger: I will destroy this...this...this TEXAS!!
Lotor: I expressly forbade you to harm Texas!! My beloved Tamy is from
there!!
Hagger: Damn!! Muttering to herself: Well, what he doesn't know can't hurt
him...or me!!
Lotor: I heard that!! And.....leave New York untouched!! For some reason
I feel fond of it as well...I think Michelle said she lived there in a
previous life.....


Interlude

The Day Earth was invaded......
Clinton: Do you come in peace?
Lotor: Not bloddy likely!! We're here to destroy all the places that have stupid sex laws!!
Clinton: Hot damn! I'm in!! I got a bone to pic with Delaware!!
Zarkon eyes him up and down: So what did you do with the cigar......?
Michelle pops out of nowhere, with a mallet she pulled out of subspace, bobbing Zarkon into unconsciouness, Akane Tendou style: Don't you be giving this ole' pervert any additional ideas!!
Valeta comes running out with a mallet as well: I'm gonna beat you to a pulp!!
Clinton: Me, what did I do?!
Valeta: You know damn well what you did!! Cause of your hormones, my teacher told me I look like Moniaca Lewinsky!!
Hagger: Mmm.....Monica Lewinksy eh?! Seems this has some potentail....and that Clinton is cute....." Snaps her fingers, and transforms into a distorted version of Ms. Lweinsky: Oh President Clinton!!!!

Massachusetts!!

<< No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. >>

Michelle: Okay Zarkon, get out of the car!! We don't need another ticket!!
Zarkon growls: Are you implying I'm a gorilla?!
Michelle: Among other things......
Zarkon: Can't you just tell them I'm a fish hybrid!!
Tamy mutters to herself: So now he accepts the fish theory.....!
Michelle: No, cause you're dressed up as your V3D counterpart, which makes you look like a big ape!!
Lotor smirks: He reminds me a little of the gorilla from Beast Wars!!
Zarkon, a hurt look on his face: My own son!! Why you traitor you!!
Hagger: Don't worry honey buns!! I'll keep you company, as we WALK to the next state!
Zarkon hands in back pockets, shuffling his feet agaist the ground: Aw shucks...
His eyes lit up: Release the robeasts!!
Hagger thinks quickly: Uh....none available right now....next one won't be ready till we reach the next state!! She happily latches onto his arm, snuggleing against him: Guess we'll just have to rough it!!!
The Scribemobile zooms by, and to Zarkon's horror,Valeta takes a picture of him and Hagger walking all lvey dovey! Valeta: This shot will make me a small fortune when I sell it to the tabloids!!
Zarkon panting, out of breath, as he chases after the car: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Massachusetts!! part 2

<< Quakers and witches are banned. >>

Hagger, wide eyed in panic: I changed my mind! I think I have a robeast to spare!! Zarkon come back here!!
A crowd of witch haters, armed with torches, and a rope, proceed to pursue her relentlessly thoughout Massachusetts!

Minnesota/Missisippi/Missouri

<< It is illegal to sleep naked. >>

Lotor, Zarkon, and Hagger all shudder in unison: There are some sick individuals in this state!!
Gina giggles: Well it doesn't say it's illegal to be naked during sex!!
Lotor: Hold your tongue women!! We haven't read through the whole list yet!!
Gina smile fades off her face, as she snatches the papers out of his hand, scanning it for any other atrocvious sex laws!!

<< * It shall be the duty of any policeman or any other officer
to enforce the provisions of this Section, and if any cat is found running
at large, or which is found in any street, alley or public place, it shall
be the duty of any policeman or other officer of the city to kill such cat. >>

Lotor: Michelle get back here!!
Michelle growls: Damn it!! I got some asses to kick!! No one's harming any kitties while I'm around!!

<< * Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married
or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of
$500 and/or 6 months in prison. -Sec. 97-29-1 >>

Gina: Someone must die for this!!!!
Hagger smirks: Wait till you see what else is on this list!!
Gina: There's something worse?!
Hagger says mysteriously: Could be!!

Montana/Nebraska

<< * A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest. >>

Michelle: Animals!! Runs hands across Lotor's smooth chest: And what excatly is wrong with a shaved chest.....or back?! I like the hairless look on my men!!
Zarkon grins, buffing his bald head with a oil rag. She shoots him an annoyed look:
I meant to a certain extent!!
Tamy: Same for me!! no hairt backs, chest, or legs....or armpits!! And that means you Sparky!!
Lotor: it appears we have another state to destroy!!
Samara: At this rate, there won't bre much of America left.....
Lotor: They should ahve thought of that before they made these stupid laws!! Hagger!! Release the robeasts!!


Nevada/New Hampshire/New Jersey

<< * Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask. >>

Zarkon: Hagger, they must have had YOU in mind, when they created this law!
Hagger to Michelle: Can I borrow your mallet? Thanks! BOP!!

<< A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three
people other than himself at any one period during the day. >>

Samara:So Lotor, which Scribes are you gonna buy drinks for?
Lotor: Err.....
Zarkon faking a yawn, puts an arms around Sammie's shoulder: Don't worry about it sweetheart!! I'll be buying the drinks for you, and my two wives over there!
Hagger bops him on the head with the borrowed mallet: What about me!!?!
Zarkon: What about you? He wraps his other arm around Michelle.
Michelle: But I don't even like alchohol!! She slips away from him, pushing Hagger into her place: here hagger, you can have my drink!
Samara: And mine!! If Lotor doesn't buy for me, I don't want anything!! Who knows what Mr.Sardine can would put in it anyway........

New Mexico/North Carolina

<< * State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit
material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet. >>

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!! Romeo and Juliet, was really pornographic before hand!! Now without those 400 words, I guess it's only rated R!! *rolls eyes* Some really tight asses wrote these laws!!

<< * Women must have their bodies covered by at least16 yards of
cloth at all times. >>

Lotor: but officer, these women are part of my harem!! They're suppose to be scantily clad!!
Cop: Save it for the judge!!

<< * It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog. >>

Hagger;Damn!! Okay officer, how much is he (Jerks thumb in Zarkon's direction) gonna cost me?!
Zarkon snarls: HEY!!!


Michelle
Mistress of Exclamation Points and princess of Pleasure!!



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