How do you like the title. I was just gonna name it Auction Block but somehow New Kids on the Auction Blocks sound funnier to me. I came across it when I was watching the Entertainment Tonight and they had a story on Titanic (loved that movie) and the New Kids on the Block (damn what ever happened to them?
Just in case you don't know I got the idea for this fic from Ritz's New Year's Eve Countdown Fanfic. Tamahome is such the business man..:-p
Disclaimer: All characters and anything related to Fushigi Yuugi belongs
to Watase Yuu. I am not making any money from this so if anybody should
decide to sue me for anything in my pages I'm just a poor student and you
may just be wasting your money. And so forth and all that good stuff.
There are also some special appearances from some people who signed my guestbook and others that I talk to on the FYML. (UPDATE: I mistook one of the characters as a girl but I added in a little something to clear that up.)
Tamahome: (up on stage, taps the microphone) Good evening ladies and
gentlemen. (cough) Please, please take you seats as the auction will be
starting now. Your wonderful seishi are back on stage just waiting to be
picked out by you.
Miaka: (sneaks up on stage and whispers to Tamahome) Tee hee. Tamahome they’re done. Kawaii!
Tamahome: All right! (has a grin on his face as he thinks of all the money he’s going to make) Hehe.
Chichiri: (backstage) I don’t think I wanna do this no da.
Chiriko: (backstage) Should I even be doing this? I’m just a kid?
Miaka: (backstage) No, no Chiriko you’ve got your share of fans too just wait.
Chiriko: (sweatdrops as he sees the stupid grins on Miaka’s face) Uhm...ok Miaka-san.
Nuriko: (backstage) Miaka I don’t wanna do this. I know something’s’ just gonna go wrong. That cat girl’s out there stalking me just waiting I can feel it.
Hotohori: (backstage) I better get the highest bid. An emperor of Kounan is an expensive commodity.
Tasuki: (backstage) I hate this. I hate girls why do I have to do this.
Mitsukake: (backstage) Is that so Tasuki? Then maybe you should pray that a guy buys you.
Tasuki: (sweatdrops) a...a guy?
Mitsukake: Well Hotohori-sama and Nuriko have a lot of guy admirers. Hey maybe just maybe you got someone lurking out there just waiting for you.
Tasuki: (to himself) Oh no. I shouldn't have threatened to flame Kouji into buying me. Now everyone will call me gay boy like Nuriko instead of fan boy.
(on stage)
Tamahome: All right everyone first. We have our very own Suzaku seishi Mistukake. (Mitsukake strolls onstage and walks on the catwalk. “I’m too sexy for my shirt” is playing). He’s big, strong and quiet. He will listen to all your problems and never let you down. He may not answer you at time but that doesn't mean he doesn't care. His main talent is his healing abilities. He likes walks in the park and caring for people and animals.
Tama: (comes up on stage and rubs on Mistukake’s leg) Mreow?
Tamahome: (eye’s bright up as dollar sign ka-chink in his head) And to all you cat lovers out there and added bonus he’s trusted sidekick Tama-chan. We’ll start the bidding at $20.
Tama: (does a few seductive pose) Mrew...
Cind-chan: 20.
Mnekov: 50!...oh I love cats. Kawaii!
Tamahome: (stars in eyes getting bigger) Ah..money. I hear 50 do I hear 60?
Cind-chan: (sneers at Mnekov) 80! Why are you bidding at him I thought you like Nuriko!
Mnekov: (gets teary eyed) I do. I do. But the cat is so cute.
Cind-chan: (comes down hard) Why you! Are you saying your cheating on Nuriko! How could you.
Mnekov: (breaks out in tears) Awww....you don’t have to be so mean.
Cind-chan: (smirks) Hehe. 90!
Cind-chan’s friend: Uhm Cind-chan you can’t bid against yourself.
Cind-chan: wah! I got all caught up.
Cind-chan’s friend: You have auction fever.
Tamahome: Hehehe...I hear 90 do I hear 100.
Mitsukake no Miko: 100!
Cind-chan: 110!
Mistukake no Miko: 120!
....a few hours later. Mistukake no Miko is breathing down on Cind-chan’s neck. Others back away from the other two.
Cind-chan: (growls) 550!
Tamahome: (slams down his gravel) Sold for 550! to the lovely Cind-chan. (to himself)Wow this is going better than I thought.
Miaka: (sweatdrops) Oi Tamahome. If all the other bidding go like this well never get done. Just imagine what it would be like for Nuriko and Hotohori.
Tamahome: (does a peace sign at Miaka) Don’t worry Miaka. I’ll hurry it up. I’m making money for our nest egg, you know. So, you shouldn’t complain.
Miaka: Eh!?
Nuriko: Why do we always have to look after those too. They’re big enough they should not use us like this.
Hotohori: Because it is our duty as seishi! (said proudly baring his chest.)
Nuriko: (sweatdrop) Hai. Hotohori-sama!? (to himself) He just can’t wait for an ego boost.
Tamahome: Up next is Chichiri, another Suzaku seishi. He’s calm and collected. Has several magical powers and will cater to your every will. He can give you advice and you can always go kasa hopping to all the mall locations you want. Be sure to stop by at Tamahome’s FY collection. Hehehe. We will start the bidding--.
Mnekov: Hey, isn’t he a monk. Can monks go dating?
Chichiri: (dismays)Na no da!?
Tamahome: Eh? Uhm...Daijoubu. He’s doing this to help his miko and Suzaku has given us the thumbs up to sell...er..auction him off.
Wandering Mage: 500!
Foxxe: 550!
Tamahome: Ladies, ladies.
Wandering Mage: (growls at Tamahome as he backs away from the microphone and decide to let the Wandering mage and Foxxe duke it out themselves. 750!
Foxxe: 1,000!
Wandering Mage: Ack! I don’t have that much money I’m only a wandering mage. No fair.
Tamahome: Sold for $1,000 to the girl breathing down on the girl version of Chichiri.
Foxxe: (smirks at Wandering Mage) Tough luck sister. (Vanishes off screen skipping and waving her money)
Tamahome: Next we have Tasuki! The flame throwing fan boy. He has a potty mouth but he’s caring and will get beat up just to protect you. He--.
Kouji: 1,000!
(Everyone stares at Kouji and whispers start to go about in the room.)
Mnekov: So it is true about what they say about Tasuki and Kouji.
Cind-chan: Oh. Now we know why Tasuki always says he hates women.
Ritz: I can’t believe it Tasuki and Kouji!
Shawna: Hey Tasuki can I do a portrait of you and Kouji for old times sake. (winks at Tasuki)
Kouji and Tasuki: No wait it’s not what you think!
Tasuki no Miko: No. I won’t be denied. 2000!
Kouji: 2,500
One of Kouji’s bandits: Kouji-san. We only stole 1,000. We can’t afford that.
Kouji: Shut up. Do you want Tasuki to fry us. Well steal that girls money (points to Tasuki no miko)
Tasuki: (sweatdrops or should I say sweatrains on stage as he silently pleads for Kouji to stop)
Tasuki no Miko: 3,000! (runs up on stage bumps Tamahome off phone and grabs the gravel.) SOLD! (she smiles triumphantly as she slams the gravel down) To the lovely miko of Tasuki.
Kouji: Hey that’s no fair you can’t do that.
Tasuki no Miko: The gravel has come down and that means all sales are final and all bidding as off. ngeh (flicks her tongue at Kouji. Skips of to Tasuki and happily guides him back stage hanging on to his arm.
Tasuki: Women are so cunning. (You got that right.)
Miaka: Tamahome! Tamahome! Daijoubu?
Mnekov: (jumps up the table and stamps her foot on it.) Come on, come on. I wanna get Nuriko and then we can have that lovely walk on the beach that I’ve always dreamed about. (sighs and gets starry eyed)
Minako: Oi, oi. He’s not yours yet. So don’t get all dreamy and stuff. (sneers)
Mnekov: (stomps her foot on table simultaneously breaking it and landing on her ass. Cries) Waaaaahhhh. (Hey I make a pretty good impression of Miaka so I should get Nuriko. Ne?)
Tamahome: (recovers from the hip attack and continues with the auction) Next we have Chiriko. You might think he’s small and vulnerable. But this Suzaku seishi is all brains. He will give his life protecting you and if you wait long enough then you can get to see him like this (Shows the pic of grown up Chiriko done by Watase-sensei).
Everyone in audience: (starry eyed) Kawwwwaaaiiii!!!!
Mnekov: 500!!
Cind-chan: (growls at Mnekov) Hmmm....
Mnekov: Eh!? (cowers and gives Cind-chan the $500)
Mina S. F.: 1,000!
Tamahome: SOLD! (slams down his grovel as he doesn't want another cat fight initiating and getting another hip attack) To the lovely Mina.
Cind-chan: Hey wait a minute I didn’t even get to raise my bid.
Mina S.F.: (smirks) Sorry. You snooze, you lose. Strike while the iron is hot. Opportunity only knocks once. (goes into a quotation frenzy as the background changes behind her and water slams agains the rocks she suddenly standing on while one of those tadadah music is playing background)
Tamahome: Eh! (coughs) Next we have Nuriko--
Audience: Aaahhh Nurikooooo! Nuriko! Nurikooo!
Nuriko: (walks forward and waves grinning at the crowd) It’s like a mad house in here.
Mnekov: 1,000,000!
Shawna: Are you serious you got that kinda of money.
Mnekov: No but I wish I did (sniff, sniff)
Ritz: 500!
Minako: 600!
Mnekov: 700!
Shawna: 800!
Some guy in the audience: 900! (all four look at him and stare him down. Out of the picture hehehehe)
(After a few hours and some bruises and broken tables later.)
Tamahome: SOLD! (slams down his gravel hard and hears the ringing in his ears.) To the lovely Mnekov for $6,550. Who owns this page by the way and you guys better sign her guestbook and tell her just how cool all her preparations and hard work for this auction has been. Without her we won’t all be here.
Mnekov: (forgets everyone. Runs on stage and attaches herself to Nuriko’s braid) Nuriko! (smiles at him with big starry eyes)
Nuriko: (sighs) Didn’t I get a restraining order against you?
Mnekov: I bribed the judge and anyways nor rain or shine can keep me from you. (Rubs her face to Nuriko’s braid)
Nuriko: (walks off the stage and tries to shake off the weight on his braid) Oh well.
Tamahome: That went well. (Glad that he didn’t get another hip attack.) Our next ...er contestant (for lack of anything better to say) the emperor of Kounan himself: Hotohori-sama.
Everyone: (everyone in audience swoons...both girls and guys.)
Kouji’s bandit: (the infamous starry eyed one that Hotohori thought he lost a long while ago.) 1,000
Hotohori: (sweatdrops) aaaahhh. Nuriko....
Nuriko: (backstage) uhm...sorry...grrr...Hotohori-sama...but I kinda have...grrr..GET OFF ME!..sorry...have my hands full.
Ms Miko: 2,000!
Bishonen no Miko: 3,000!
Ms Miko: Hey when did you get here!
Bishonen no Miko: I got held up. Someone sabotage my car. (sneers at Ms. Miko)
Ms Miko: (thinks to herself) Damn it didn’t work.
Bishonen no Miko: I will never give up! (does one of infamous Miaka never give up poses) HAHAHAHAHA (She’s pretty scary cause she’s also Nakago no Miko but I just had to include because she kinda introduced me to Nuriko...swoon)
Kouji’s bandit: 3,500! (Ms Miko and Bishonen no Miko knock him into outer space.
After that all the guy and most of the girls that thought about bidding on Hotohori kept their mouths shut.)
Tamahome: Uhm...(sweatdrops) Maybe you ladies can duke it out in a special room that Miaka has prepared for you.
Miaka: (appears clothed in one of those dog training padded outfits) If you ladies will follow me then we can settle this peacefully.
Tamahome: (sweatdrops) Well ladies and gent---.
Nakago: (suddenly comes out from behind the curtains) Stick ‘em up. We’ve come for the Shinzaho.
Bishonen no Miko and Ms Miko: (comes back as they hear Nakago’s voice) 5,000!! (they stare at each other and start a catfight)
Nakago: Tamahome what’s going on here. Where’s the Shinzaho.
Tamahome: Eh Nakago...We’re having an auction and..we were just about....
Minako: 6,000!! Bishonen no Miko and Ms Miko: (stare down Minako) I thought you had the hots for Nuriko.
Minako: (shrugs) Hey I’m Nuriko TO Nakago no Miko.
Tomo: Oh this looks most interesting...7,000!
Soi: Tomo! What are you doing?
Tomo: (snickers at Soi) Finally...finally I will have the chance to wrench Nakago-sama away from you (snickers his most infamous cackle).
Soi: Oh no you don’t....8000!
Bishonen no Miko and Ms. Miko: (stare down the less powerful seishi since they where mikos and got more power) No you don’t ( we then see the two flying off into outer space)
Nakago: (sits down on edge of stage) Hmmm...this is very interesting.
Bishonen no Miko: Hey I’ll give you Hotohori if you give me Nakago....
Ms. Miko: Hey why should I get Hotohori and you get Nakago I want Nakago--
Bishonen no Miko: Because I’m also the Nakago no Miko and I always get what I want. (stares down Ms. Miko)
Minako: Hey I’m Nakago no Miko to so what makes you so great.
Bishonen no Miko: (stares down Minako as hand starts to crackle with power...she really is scary...Kowwaaiii...waaaaahhhh NURIKO!!!) Because I am the vice-president of the Nakago fan club and that gives me more power and authority over you.
Minako: (stand off) Kowwaaaiiii....
Ms. Miko: Ok I’ll....I’ll settle for Hotohori.
Hotohori: (sighs) These girls are crazy. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SETTLE!!! (stamps off stage and prepares to leave. Ms Miko runs after him and tries to calm him down)
Ms Miko: Oh Hotohori, wait I didn’t mean it like that.
Bishonen no Miko: (skips over to Nakago) Heh..Nakago.
Nakago: (raises eyebrow at girl and stands up) Hn. (leaves). Tamahome: (breathes out his sigh of relief) Well folks that’s all for now. We...
Tamahome no Miko: 500!
Yui-chan: 600!
Tamahome: A-re?! What are you doing?
Yui-chan: We’re bidding for you Tamahome.
Tamahome: Ay!? (eyes shine up as he hears another ka-clink) Do I hear 700!!
Miaka: TAMAHOME!!
Author's Notes: Thanks everyone for participating this auction. I personally don't know to all those who have appeared on this fic and so they might not act as they would on this fic. If those who appeared on this pic wish to comment on their role or make another bid (hehee) please contact me. But please no flames ok. Those who don't appear here can still contact me and make a bid and I will try to work them into the fic. Thanks again for joining the fic and half of the proceed from this auction will go to the Kounan's-help-the-poor program.
Tamahome: Oi, oi...This money is mine (hides the money from ME).
Mnekov: We'll see about that. NURIKO!!!
Nuriko: (shrugs) Hai?
Mnekov: (point to Tamahome and cackles) Hahahaha.
Meanwhile....
As Foxxe drags Chichiri by his kasa, she hides behind a pillar. She starts undressing.
Chichiri: What are you doing, no da? I'm not that kind of guy, no da!"
Foxxe: "Don't worry, Boss. I've come to save you, no da."
Chichiri: "Am I glad to see you, no da. Let's go."
Foxxe: "Uhh. When are you gonna reimburse me for the 1000 bucks I paid for
you?"
Chichiri: "I'm a wandering monk, no da! Foxxe: "Daaaaaaa..." The two jump into the kasa and promptly disappear.
This little tidbit brought to you by Foxxe who I had mistaken for a girl originally but we talked it out and fixed it so..."Gomen Foxxe" ^_^.
Back
to Mnekov's Ramblings
For comments, suggestions (please be kind) and your bids email me at
mnekov's mailbox