The Brahma (Gods) in Your Home
By Egerton C. Baptist

Page 2

On another occasion, in describing the qualities of mother, the Buddha related the Sona Naanda Jataka, and said, that a mother desiring a child prays to the Devas (i.e. gods), goes to soothsayers to find out the constellation of planets when such an event can be expected and under which 'Star' (planet) of the 'Zodiac' the child would be born. She is also eager to know the date and the year the child would be born and whether it will have long life or short be short-lived. Incidentally, it is mentioned, that for a child to be conceived there must be the 3-fold factors:

• It should be the mother's right time.
• There must be the coming together of the parents.
• A 'being' ready to be conceived.

After conception has taken place, the mother is overwhelmed with great desire; that is to say, a deep love and affection arises within her for the child that is now conceived in her womb - this stage is called "Suhada". Carrying the child in her womb and giving birth to it after 10 lunar months (9 months as we reckon time), the mother becomes "Janetti". She then gives suck to the child of her own blood which has now turned into milk through her great and consuming affection for her child. She gives it warmth and consoled the child holding it to her breast - thus protecting it from the wind, the sun and the rain, this being called, the "feeder of nutrition" (Posaka) stage.

Describing the care and attention lavished by parents on their children, the texts also state that a mother while carrying her child in her womb in this manner for 10 lunar months protects it from harm or hurt and looks after it like a gem. And after the child is born, she will not allow even a fly to settle on it. At this helpless stage, the children only cry when it is hungry or thirsty, falls ill, has a stomach-ache, or feels pain from a fall or broken bone. The saliva, phlegm, excreta and urine is washed and the child made clean by the mother, as if it were all a part of its mother's own body. A mother does not feel squeamish at all this, but treats them all, it is said, as sandalwood, and attends to the child with her own hands. That is how, as we have seen, a mother's deep love and affection for her child turns, as we have seen, her own blood into milk which sustains and nourishes the child. Wise parents who can afford it also cover their child with mosquito nets to protect it from flies and mosquitoes, because if they do not protect and look after their child in this manner with loving care, the survival of that child becomes difficult and remote.

While bringing up a child in this manner, that child should also be taught to respect and follow the family customs and traditions and culture, saying: "Son, worship your parents, morning and evening, respect and regard your elders." One should also read to them religious stories and establish a religious fervour in them. All this should be instilled into children by their parents, who, as we said, are their First Teachers, until they are of age to attend school. It is in this way, that wise parents make their children noble and good citizens.

Now, a child who is brought up in this manner, will not only be a boon to the family, but also to the whole village, country and race, and , will, without doubt, bring much credit to his parents and his country. On the other hand, if a child is not brought up in the correct way, the opposite too can happen and his whole present and future life too can be ruined.

We are also told that, if a child brought up, nursed, taught and looked after in this manner, does not look after the welfare of his parents and, instead, becomes disobedient and harasses them, that child becomes what the sacred text call, a "Mittavindaka", and, would, in the process of time, be born in the apayas (hells).

Now, it must also be stated, that the task of bringing up children should be undertaken with great care and wisdom. The burden of this undertaking falling heavily and chiefly on the mother, because from the time of its birth till it grows up, the child is in its mother's arms and under her care and influence. Accordingly, the mother is the chief architect of its future - its fortune and its misfortune - the task of the father being mainly to work hard and earn a livelihood and bring home food and drinks for the family. Since the father has often to go out and be away most of the time to find the means to provide all this for the family, he is also not always at home. Thus, the mother becomes the focal-point in the household all the time, and moulds the character of the child, as we see, from its very beginning. The mother's role in the home is therefore pre-eminent, and this has been the tradition in the time of the Buddha too. She was given first place in the home.

Many parents often complain, however, that though they take great care in the bringing up of their children and in providing them with all that is necessary for their growth and well-being, in the hope and expectation that in their old age they too would be looked after and cared for - some of them having 7 to 8 children - yet not one of their children looks after or cares for them. Such children who neglect their parents in their age, should know that in doing so, they do a great wrong. However, it must be mentioned that such children are invariably those who have not been brought up in the proper way, as set out in this brief treatise, by their parents, from the very beginning. If children are taught to respect those worthy of respect, as their parents and elders are, and they are also taught the value of their parents and how beholden they are to them, in the manner we have been describing herein, they will never go against their parents at any time and never be a disappointment to them. It is often the fault of the parents themselves when their children do not live up their expectations. Those children who are well brought up will support and look after their parents, even if they themselves are poor, with whatever they themselves have, thus bringing mutual joy and comfort to their ageing parents while they are still with them, and in the process, heaping and storing up Merit for themselves for now and the hereafter, - and in the lives to come.

It is stated in the Sigalovada Sutta that children should look after their parents in 5 ways. The actual text reads: 

Bhato ne bharissami, kiccam nesam karissami,
Kulavamsam, thapessami, dayajjam patipajjami,

atha ca pana
Petanam kalakatanam dakkhinam anupadassami.

As we have seen, from the time a child is born its parents undergo mush worry and trouble, but they surmount all these because of their great love and compassion, and bringing up their children, cleansing them sometimes even with their own mouths, thus giving relief and comfort to their child. They also apply oils and feed them with their milk, as we have also seen that has now become part of their own blood. Remembering, therefore, that they are the beneficiaries of all this great and loving care and tender affection that have been showered on them from the time of their birth, children should look after their parents with respectful care and attention, - bathing them in hot water, washing their feet, feeding them with nutritious foods, such as medicinal conjee, rice, and so on, and thus make them strong, even if they had a hundred and one things to do. Parents, in short, must come first. Children must also look after the family inheritance - property - without wasting and squandering the parental wealth that they have inherited. Children who fail in this respect to look after the family property and parental wealth will not be recipients of their parental wealth. For, parents bestow their wealth only upon those children who respect and look after them in their old age, and who heed their advice. Children must also bear in mind that, while their parents are still alive and with them, they must attend to all their needs, and when their parents alas! are no more, they must accrue Merit by performing various meritorious deeds and transfer the Merit thus accrued their deceased parents when they are no more. Such transference of Merit to one's deceased parents is also a duty cast upon children.

If a son, being himself in able circumstances,
were to neglect and not to care for his helpless parents,
such conduct shall be the cause for his downfall. - Parabhava Sutta

In addition to what parents should do for their children as I have set out earlier in the course of this treatise, there are according to the Sigalovada Sutta, 5 ways in which parents should show their Compassion for their children.

Papa nivarenti, kalyane Nivasenti,
Sippam Sikkhapenti Patirupena
Darena Samyojenti samaye dayajjam niyyadenti

Here, in the Sigalovada Sutta, it is taught that parents should point out and show their children the consequences or retributive results of bad kamma (i.e.evil actions),both in this lifetime itself and in the next life, and prevent them from doing such evil actions; they should also teach them to keep good and wholesome company by having good friends and good companions. Children should also be taught to respect the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha, and the family elders. Here, I would like to cite the case of the Millionaire Anathapindika who lived in the time of the Buddha and his son Kala. Anathapindika's son never liked to visit the Blessed One and listen to His sermons. He thought that if he begins to associate with the Monks and become friendly, he would, in course of time, have to carry gifts too to them. He never knew what a vast field of Merit the Ariya Maha Sangha was. His father therefore decided on a strategy - a sort of bribe - in order that he may persuade his son to visit the Buddha. He asked him to go to the Blessed One and learn just one 4-line stanza and that, if he did so, he would be rewarded with a gift of a thousand Kahavenus (1000 pieces of gold). The Blessed One knew why the son of nathapindaka had visited him, and while He preached, the Blessed One also 'willed' that the son would not be able to remember a 4-line stanza. This meant that the son had to visit the Blessed One again and again. Eventually, when the Blessed One saw that the son was ripe for Conversion (Sotapatti, first stage of Buddhist Sainthood), He withdrew His 'restraining-influence' and allowed the son to remember the 4-line verse. But, by that time - because he was now Sotapatti-Saint. It it thus, as we see, the duty of parents through various devices and stratagems, to endeavour to guide their erring and recalcitrant children on to the correct Path, and make them perform meritorious deeds, get them to earn an honest living and, in time, at the proper age, also see that they are well married according to their station in life. Parents should also hand over the family property to their children at the correct time. In these five ways, parents are exhorted by the Blessed One to do their duty by their children. Parents who bring up their children in this manner would find their children are a blessing to them and the world.

We are also taught that the debt of gratitude children owe their parents for what their parents have done for them cannot be repaid to them whatever their children might do in return for their parents. For instance, if by keeping the mother on one shoulder for even a hundred years, a child thinks he could repay them for all that his or her parents have done for him or her, yet even in this manner parents cannot be repaid for what they have done throughout the years for their children, to bring them up to where they are today. The Buddha also said that even if a child keeps his parents on the throne of Sakka, the King of the Gods, yet his parents would not have been repaid or compensated for what they have done for him. However, the Buddha says that if a child is able to instil Saddha (i.e. Faith) in a parent who has no Saddha, is able to instil Sila (i.e. Virtue) in a parent who has no Virtue, is able to instil Panna (i.e. Wisdom) in unwise and foolish parents, then that child would have repaid his or her debt of gratitude to his or her parents for all that they have done for him or her. Wise children should, therefore endeavour to instil Saddha, good qualities or Sila and Panna in their parents.

If one wants to know how kings of old looked after their parents, one could read with profit the story of King Aggabodhi the VIII. in a biographical sketch, we are told that in the Buddhist era of 1360, King Aggabodhi the VIII was a great benefactor to his parents. As the story goes, this King looked after the welfare of his mother, both by day and by night. At dawn he would go and anoint his mother's head with oil, comb her hair, scrub and massage her body, bathe and put clean clothes on her. He even washed her soiled clothes. Looking upon his mother as a Chetiya (i.e. Shrine), he also offered sweet scented flowers to her, having first walked round her saluting and worshipping her three times. The king fed his mother with his own hands, and himself partook of the left-overs. The Queen Mother's retinue was also given the same good food. He scented and perfumed her bed chamber before she went to sleep and arranged the bed sheets, etc., and put her to sleep. After washing her feet he kissed her feet. After she is placed on her bed, it is said that the king went round her bed three times, saluting her (This is an ancient Indian and Ceylonese custom). He arranged for her security and without turning his back to her, he went out of her bed chamber backwards, till she was out of sight. He worshipped here with his head, feet and hands (pancanga-patitthita), and went to his own chamber with happy thoughts in his mind. This he did till the end of her life. The task of looking after his mother in this manner was performed by him, we are told, in an unbroken sequence.

It should be borne in mind that the wise and the noble admire and appreciate those children who look after the welfare of their parents. Such children, it is said, are blessed with long life and they live in joy and happiness throughout their lives. Their wealth, strength and happiness, doubles and trebles, and flow in abundance. And, when they die, they are reborn in the celestial realms (i.e. Deva worlds). No poison, it is also said, will affect them, even if a poisoned arrow is shot into their bodies. Such instances are numerous in the sacred books of the Buddhists. We shall herein cite only the instance of Prince Sama and the beggar "Sutana" who went amidst rakkhas (i.e. cannibals) and came to no harm. The deer Nandiya, who escaped the traps set for him is also another instance. Children should, therefore, at all cost and at all times, show gratitude to their parents by looking after their welfare, so that it will be a profit to them in their long journey in Samsara (i.e. the recurring cycles of birth and death).

In the Sama Jataka, the Bodhisatta says to the King:

Yo mataram va pitaram va macco dhammaena posati
Deva pi nan tikicchanti mata petti bharam naram

Yo mataram va pitaram va macco dhammena posati
Ida ceva nam pasamsanti pecca sagge pamodati.

Being freely translated this means that if one looks after his parents, even the devas (i.e. gods) supply them with medicine, care and protection. They are also praised in this world.

Having listened to this sermon, the king went back to the city and performed many meritorious deeds and when he died, was reborn in a celestial realm (i.e. deva world). Children should, therefore, keep all these points in mind and consider it their duty, to endeavour to understand the views of their parents, and look after them to the best of their ability, treating them with great reverence by worshipful salutation, both by day and by night, for their own benefit, for both, now, in this world, and the next.

These duties of parents and children towards each other, as set out in the Sigalovada Sutta, are briefly as follows:-
As regards parents, one should: 

1. Support, minister to and reverence them;
2. Perform duties for them;
3. Protect their properties and keep up the lineage;
4. Act according to the advice they give;
5. Give alms and charity in their name when they are dead.

The parents in turn will:

1. Restrain them from vice;
2. Encourage them to do good;
3. Give them a good education or train them in a profession;
4. Find them suitable wives (or husbands);
5. Hand over their inheritance at the proper time.

I would like to conclude this brief thesis by citing an incident in the life of the Buddha that amply demonstrates how deeply ingrained in Eastern peoples, is the tradition and duty of looking after one's parents, especially in their old age. We are told that one day while the Buddha was on His alms-rounds, a certain husband and wife seeing the Buddha, fell at His feet saying: "Dear Son, is it not the duty of sons to care for their mother and father when they are grown old? Why is it that for so long a time, you have not shown yourself to us?" The Buddha later explained to His disciples the strange behaviour of this couple by saying that in many a previous birth they had been his parents, aunt and uncle, and so on. Hence, "through previous associations...that old love springs again...and again..."

May all beings be well and happy.