Microsoft Restaurant

If Restaurants Functioned Like MICROSOFT

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter.
What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup;
try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl;
what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration
problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to
do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you
noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup
of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.
I'm running late now.

Waiter: (Leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and
the check.)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

Waiter: (Leaves.)

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
Waiter: That sir, is not a gnat. It is the protein feature we
have now included for free with your upgrade. Didn't you read the
license agreement? We are not liable for the disliking of our product
features!

Waiter: (Removes old check, and leaves a new one.)

Patron: (Reads the check:)
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . $1.50
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . .. . . . . $2.50
Access to support $5.00 X 3 INCIDENTS = $15.00
Subtotal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$19.00
Mandatory Gratuity. (25%) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4.00
Total . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $23.00