Episode #2: The Baron and Mr. Hykes
Or, How I Spent My Weekend Doing Superhero Stuff
Pouch nodded thoughtfully as the old widow described the man who had swept in, bowed gracefully, picked up her original Van Gogh, and swung out the window with the same flair with which he had arrived. A tan suit, finely-polished brown dressshoes, a long, billowy cape, blond hair, carrying in one hand a classy-looking brown cane. He was about to ask her if she could give any more information, when a loud yell resounded throughout Moadville, in an oddly familiar voice—
"THE BAD GUY’S ISAAC FREAKIN’ NEWTON!!!!!"
Pouch blinked, then turned back to the widow. "I’m sorry…you vere saying?"
"Well, he had glasses and—oh dear," and she put one gloved hand to her mouth. "I thought I’d cleaned up. What’s this on the floor?" She started to reach for the white square, but Pouch dipped down faster and picked it up for her. His eyes scanned it quickly.
"But this is…his calling card!" On the front were the words The Baron AlVair, in calligraphic script, bordered with fancy classical embossings. He flipped it over, and on the back, in neat, tiny script, was a message.
To Whom it May Concern:
This evening, I, the Baron AlVair, will be gaining admittance to the Moadville Natural History Museum at 4 of the morning, and will be appropriating for myself through illegal means the World’s Largest Nugget of Iron Pyrite! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!
Pouch looked up, blinked a few times, and turned to the widow, who was patting her done-up hair, which shone a healthy silvery-blue. "Madam, may I have leave to take this card?" he asked, smiling. "I believe it will be vital to our solving this case."
"Why, you most certainly may. My word, such polite burglars and heroes these days…"
And with a flourishing bow of his own, he disappeared out the window.
* * *
At approximately two in the morning, the doors to the Dungeon opened, and five Argonauts and one intern stumbled back out into the real world, their minds stuffed to overflowing with feathers and mechas…feathers and mechas…feathers and—and I can’t take it any more!! What’s with all the feathers??! There couldn’t possibly be that many feathers in one set of wings!!
There is a moment as the narrator struggles to get ahold of herself.
Okay—okay, I’m better now. I’m really sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me. It’s just that…the feathers…
Anyway, the Argonauts, after skipping dinner and various other normal activities, stumbled into the glaring light of the Dungeon and sat at the main table, trying to absorb the new anime.
They all looked at Anne.
There was a long pause.
Then…
"Wow! That was great! Pretty pictures! And music! And…and he died!! But it was all so cool…Hitomi, and Folken and Dilandau, and that guy…they were all so well done! And they thought it out, too! It wasn’t just a show, but a story! I mean, when they made this, they thought it through! Oh, and there was Escaflowne, that was so awesome—and where did all those feathers come from—?"
And so on, and so on…
After raving favorably about the series for a short while, Brian suddenly turned to Keibert. "Okay, Keibert, let’s have a look-see at that card." Taking it, he read the neat text on the back and hmmed thoughtfully. "Okay, we have a little time before the Baron shows up. We can leave here at 3:30, and that should give us enough time."
"But what do we do now?" Jen asked.
"Simple—do what we do best. Blow time!" With that, Brian pulled out a Monopoly game.
"Wh-where did that come from??" Anne asked, incredulous.
"We don’t ask," Josh said, "and neither should you."
"Speaking of which," Brian said, turning to Anne. "You can’t play. You have a more important task to do. In there—" and he pointed to a walk-in closet, "there are a bunch of costume parts. You need a costume; go on in and try stuff on."
"But I don’t know the first thing about—"
"That’s okay!" Brian said. "We trust you! Now go on!" With that, he pointed her in the direction of the closet and gave her a light push.
Anne disappeared into the closet.
"Okay, now down to the game!"
* * *
One hour later found the Argonauts gathered around the round table in the Dungeon, the game of Monopoly well under way. With a flick of the wrist Charlie rolled double twos.
"Why are we playing Monopoly, of all things?" Keibert asked.
"Because," Brian said, "I thought Charlie wanted some extra practice being dark and menacing." All the Argonauts looked at Charlie. He was sitting with is hands folded just over his nose, having just moved his battleship four spaces. Kuni-chan was walking back and forth from one of his shoulders to the other.
"You know," Brian continued, "just because Bruce Wayne can look tough when he wants to doesn’t mean you have to."
"Yeah," chimed in Josh. "Besides, It’s tough to look commanding when I own Boardwalk with 3 houses and you just landed on it. You might want to pay me before rolling again."
"It’s okay," Charlie said after a pause, sounding more friendly than competitive. "After all, I get to roll again and collect $200."
Click Click Click
"Gee, that puts you on Luxury tax, Charlie," Jen said in an equally friendly voice. "Don’t worry; you didn’t need that two hundred anyway."
"Aye, with any luck there’ll be plenty of opportunity later to kick butt," added Keibert.
"I hope the happy-bird-ometer will work," Jen said, changing the subject. "Josh and I finished installing it at the end of last semester, but over the summer we really didn’t get a chance to use it."
"Umm, Jen," Josh said, "we talked about this. The happy-bird-ometer won’t work at nights because most of the birds that set it off are sleeping."
"They sure have some nerve," said Brian angrily. "If evil were to pop up while we’re sleeping and there are no happy singing birds to stop singing to set off the happy-bird-ometer to alert the Crime Computer, then we’d be in trouble." A silence filled the room as all eyes turned to Brian as he continued eating his ramen. "What are we paying them for, anyway?"
"Brian, we don’t pay them," spoke up Josh.
"What!?! Slave labor!" He waved around his spoon, almost choking on a noodle. "What are the Argonauts coming to?!"
"At least you guys never had to share a dorm room with him," Charlie pointed out.
BEEP BEEP BEEP! The flying toasters on the Dungeon’s computer were instantly replaced by a Moadville map with a glowing red dot appearing in one corner.
Josh observed this turn of events and was pleased. "It’s good to know that our other sensors are still working."
"Aye Lad, there appears to be a small blip in the Moadville park."
"I’ll check it out," came a deep voice from the far side of the table, with little play money left in front of him. Flip stood up. "It might be the Baron, making an early move. If it isn’t, I’ll take care of it and catch up with you at the museum. And if it is, I’ll contact you."
"But why do you get to handle the park?" Brian whined.
"Because . . ." Flip began dramatically. "I am the terror that flaps in the night. I am the cockroach in the sugar bowl of evil. I … am—" THUD.
"That was a particularly big anvil," said Super Jen. "I guess the author is one of DW’s few fans. Ow!" She winced as a small anvil bounded off her head.
Flip disappeared from the Dungeon silently, as was his way.
Brian shrugged. "Okay, should we head on over to the museum now?"
"Sounds good." Jen walked over to the closet and knocked on the door. "Anne? Are you ready?"
There was a pause, and the sound of someone fumbling with something. Slowly, the door creaked open. The Argonauts blinked. There stood Anne, minus her hat, wearing a short gi that fell to just below her waist; black spandex shorts stuck out from beneath it. On the back of the gi was a large pink bow; on her feet, she wore a pair of red and white roller skates. On her right hand was a magical-girl glove, white with a greyish jewel on the back. On her left forearm was a kind of electronic arm greave, covered with buttons and such. And on her face was a simple black domino mask.
Brian jumped at her, waving his arms frantically. "No way! Absolutely not! I’m not having you go out into the field wearing such a weird costume!"
"Brian," Jen admonished, "don’t yell at her. Besides, she’s pretty new at anime. She needs to try a variety of styles before she figures out what she can use. And," she checked her omnipresent watch, "we don’t have any time to redo her costume."
Brian growled, pouting.
"So," Josh said, turning to Anne, "what kind of powers do you have?"
Anne blinked. "Um, well . . . I don’t really know. None that I know of." She shrugged, then looked over her shoulder and down, muttering to herself, "Why did it have to be a bow, of all things? Couldn’t it have been a square knot or something?"
"Hmm…" Brian hmmed. "Well, you seem to have discovered the training gauntlet." He pointed to the electronic greave.
"Training…guantlet?" Anne looked at it. "That was the weird part…this thing just came out of a pile of clothes and attached itself to my arm."
"The training gauntlet," Josh explained, "is for newbies to the anime superhero profession. It can provide a wide variety of anime weapons on demand, so if you don’t have any apparent powers right away, you can try your hand at several items until you find something you like. Here," and he reached for the gauntlet. She lifted it up for him to see. He pushed a button, and a small tube rose up out of the top, aiming at the ground, and casting a spotlight on the floor. "Okay, now what should we give you to try?"
Brian reached into his puffy jacket and started pulling things out. "Here’s what you need, Anne. A sword…" and he pulled a sword out of mallet space, dropping it on the ground in the spotlight. "A mallet; a pistol; a 24th century bazooka; a red-dot fan; a whip; a magical-girl wand; a dagger; a deck of cards; a magical amulet; one red rose; one black rose; a bokken…" He continued pulling things out of mallet space, dropping them into the light. Occasionally, Anne emmitted a small gasp of surprise at an item.
When they had ammassed a goodly-sized pile, Seeker pushed another button on the gauntlet. The spotlight brightened, and everything in its light disappeared. "Now," Seeker said, "just press a button and the items will appear. Simple."
"…Simple…?" Anne was still a bit fazed by the whole course of events. "Um, sure…I guess. But which button is for which item? They’re not labeled."
"Oh." Jen blinked, completely without answer. "Um…trial and error?"
Anne opened her mouth to say something, but was abruptly cut off when Jen continued. "Besides, right now we have a crime to stop!"
"Right! Let’s go, Argonauts!" Brian said dramatically.
"Right!" said the three other Argonauts in unison. Anne just looked around, then shrugged. "Okay…I guess."
"To Josh’s car!"
Josh face-faulted.
" . . . right . . ."
* * *
"Darn," thought Martha. "What was I thinking? Who takes a walk in the park in the evening? I should have just cruised the Moadville diamond like the Moadville townies. Then I wouldn’t be running away from this trench coat-wearing freak. If Moadville were safe, those Argonauts wouldn’t have to hang around here, now would they? Oh well. Maybe I lost him. Oh no! There he is standing amidst those trees over there. Wait! Where’d he go?"
With that, Martha turned around and screamed, as was standard procedure in these situations. In front of her stood a man. Actually, he was a young man--she’d guess about 28 or so. He was wearing a brown trench coat, with the collar up, a black T-shirt under it, normal jeans and white sneakers. His shoulder length hair was tied back in a ponytail. And he had a look in his eye like, "Ha ha little girl. I have you cornered. There’s nothing you can do, so I’m going to take your lunch money now."
In a split second Martha was around and dashing for the trees. Then, not ten yards away, a blur appeared which was instantly replaced by the unmistakably evil young man. Martha stopped dead. A moment passed in silence. He took a step forward, when a blur appeared directly in front of Martha, which was quickly replaced by a black cape. Martha couldn’t tell whom the cape belonged too. But it didn’t matter to her. All she cared about was that he/she/it had lowered his/her/its head and was running fast at that evil young man. Martha wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth so she turned right around and started running back towards the college. She never looked back once.
Flip jumped in mid charge, soared for a second, and, at the last moment, thrust the heel of his foot at his new trench coat-wearing friend. Flip tensed immediately after his foot hit nothing but air, ready for the blow that impacted momentarily thereafter.
"Good," said Flip in his deep superhero voice after rolling back to his feet. "I was hoping it wouldn’t be that easy. I could use some exercise."
"Yes, you must be Flip," said the young man. "I am Oouchi Himagawa."
"Funny, you don’t look Asian."
"Yes, well, the monks who found me as a child didn’t concern themselves with such details."
"And where are they now? I should send you back for lessons in the treatment of women going on strolls in the park."
"I couldn’t tell you their present location. I stopped caring once I had burned down their shrine." He smirked. "I was very reckless as a child. No matter; I’ve been hoping to challenge you ever since I learned of how you dealt with that amateur Black Dragon."
"Then I accept your challenge," answered Flip, still in his fighting stance, "under the condition that you will leave Moadville once I have defeated you."
With that Oouchi bowed slightly, and then accelerated at a rate that was disturbing to Flip. Nonetheless, Flip saw the punch coming and moved his wrist to deflect the technique. But his wrist hit nothing but air. Impressive, thought Flip, He came at me with a high-speed punch and slowed it down just enough after I had committed to throw off my timing. Still, if I just flip my wrist back …
"WHAM!"
But it was too late; Oouchi’s fist had once again accelerated and landed squarely against Flip’s nose.
"Nice technique," thought Flip as he tasted the bitterness that had started to lightly flow from his nostril. He managed a smile. "But . . . it’s not enough!" he said, just as he launched into his next attack.
* * *
Meanwhile, at a certain Moadville Natural History Museum, a certain man in a tan business suit and large, flowing cape surveyed the display room. At the center, under a spotlight, behind a glass case, on a red velvet pillow, sat the object of his desire: the World’s Largest Nugget of Iron Pyrite!
"MwaHAHAHAHAHA! At last, it will be mine!" The Baron AlVair jumped down off of the windowsill from where he’d just made his Grand Entrance (TM), landing on the floor of the museum with a wonderful flare of his cape. Then, just because it was cool, he flared his cape a few more times.
That done, the mood was set. He approached the glass display case and set his classy gold-tipped cane on the ground. Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out a hand-held laser cutting tool and a pair of black fingerprint-concealing gloves.
Suddenly, from nowhere, cheesy dramatic music started playing. He looked up at an open window to find five silhouettes standing against the moonlight.
"Stop right there!" Brian declared. "We are the Argonauts, here to right wrongs and bring justice and peace to the land of Evermore—"
"Moadville!" someone whispered harshly.
"Moadville!" Brian finished. "So…you gonna surrender?"
"Ha! Double Ha! Don’t you know who I am?"
"Yeah, you’re the Baron—" Brian began.
"I am the Baron AlVair!" he interrupted, because it was much more dramatic if he said it. "And you shall never stop me from attaining my goal!"
He broke off when a rose fell slowly through the air and landed feebly on the ground four feet in front of him. There was a pause as everyone regarded the thing, laying limply on the marble-patterned tile.
"It didn’t work!" Anne exclaimed. "Gee . . . I thought it was supposed to be some kind of weapon!" She stamped her roller-skated foot on the windowsill.
"Well…It’s the effort that counts," Brian hedged. "Now, then, let’s go!" He waved his arm and jumped onto the floor, and was followed by Seeker (wearing the Gensokaze body suit), Pouch, Super Jen, and their sidekick intern, Anne (who had yet to come up with a snazzy superhero-ish name). Anne fumbled a little in the roller skates, but managed to retain her balance.
"Let’s go!" Pouch exclaimed first, leaping at the Baron AlVair with his sword drawn and at the ready. He brought it down on the Baron, but all of a sudden, the cane came up and deflected the blow.
"Ha! You cannot defeat me! Not while I have…" and he waved his hand in the direction of one door, "hired cronies! Mwahahahaha!" With that, two hulking men in way-too-tight business suits stalked out of the shadows and glowered.
Brian rushed at one of the cronies and, reaching into his puffy jacket, pulled out a cream pie. "Brian Hykes Cream Pie Attack!" he declared, throwing it at one of the goon’s faces.
"Ouch! I am blinded and cannot see!" the goon said, falling backwards.
"Anne! Try for the other one!" Super Jen said.
The intern looked determined, then Super Jen’s words sank in. "What?!"
She looked at the newbie. "You need the experience. Just go for it!" She shoved the roller-skate-wearing cat girl at the second goon.
"Oh…uh…" Anne looked at her gauntlet and started pushing various buttons. There was a great whirring and clicking, and all of a sudden a fan with a red dot on it appeared in her hands. She looked at it despairingly for a moment. And the goon was getting closer by the minute… She pushed another button, and this time, a large wand with a heart on one end popped out. "Um, what am I supposed to do with this?!"
"Anne, declare an attack!" Seeker called.
"Umm…umm…" She was practically right on top of the goon now. "EEKK! Get out of my face!" She thought a minute. "Attack!"
The wand sputtered, glowed, then died.
"Well…it’s a start," Brian said. "But next time, try to be a bit more sugary."
"Shoot!" Anne growled, then pushed a few more buttons. A deck of cards, a white rose, an unopened Christmas present…all of which she threw at the goon, to little effect.
"Ha! As you can see," said the Baron, "my hired goons are invincible! Mwahahahahaha!"
"Grrr!" Anne was by now very frustrated. Looking around, and finding nothing else suitable, she peeled off her mask and smacked the goon with it. "Take that!"
The goon blinked. All of a sudden, standing before him, was the cutest little furball of a kitten he’d ever seen. Suddenly, he wanted to pick it up and pet it and hug it…
Anne screeched as the goon tried to pick her up in his huge beefy hands.
"This kitten is the cutest of kittens I have ever seen!" the goon sighed, trying to pick up a mewling Anne by the scruff of the neck, which in real life was a screaming Anne by the back of her gi.
"What are you, crazy?! Put me down!" Anne cried.
The Argonauts looked stunned. "Hey," said Pouch, "that goon just picked up Anne!" He got his sword ready and charged, taking a slice at the towering cronie.
The sword barely missed Anne. "Hey, watch it!" she said, kicking the goon until she could slip out of his arms onto the ground.
"Sorry, m’lady!" Pouch said. He turned to face the cronie again, but for some reason…the cronie just stood there, in a daze, gazing cutely at Anne. Pouch took a good look at the cronie and put his sword away. He poked the man, who promptly fell over without resistance. "Wow…" Pouch muttered. "What did you do to him, Anne?"
"I didn’t do anything!" she exclaimed. "Just…hit him, a lot."
There was a pause. Then everyone looked at the Baron.
"Well…You seem to have gotten the better of my hired goons. However," and he raised his cane, "I have my own bag of tricks!" He tried to bring the tip of the cane down on Brian.
The leader of the Argonauts dodged out of the way. There was a CRA-ACK! He looked over his shoulder. A small crater about the size of a fist was left in the marble floor where the tip of the cane had landed.
"That’s not good!" Super Jen said.
"Brian," Seeker said, using the Gensokaze’s sensors, "I’m sensing some spacial distortions around the cane. It’s his mallet space weapon! Be careful!"
Brian nodded. Most people had the in-born ability to have one item that they could bring forth from mallet space in times of great need; superheros and villains often had the ability more fine-tuned and could bring forth those items more readily. And, more often than not, a person’s mallet space item had strange powers, and was a bit tougher to get rid of.
"Seeker, target the cane!" Brian said, rushing at the Baron AlVair. The Baron raised his arms to defend himself, but Brian placed his hands on the villain’s shoulders and leapt over his head, landing behind him.
There was a hiss as several missiles shot out of various launchers on the Gensokaze’s body, trailing smoke as they headed for the Baron. His eyes widened, then he leapt up just as the missiles made a crater where he’d just been standing. He flipped once, twice in midair and landed dramatically on his feet.
Seeker and the other Argonauts watched as the Baron stood up, his cape falling around him gracefully. He regarded the Argonauts smugly. Then, for effect, he flapped his cape a couple more times.
"I am afraid that your missile guidance system is no match for my speed and dexterity, which aid me in evasive maneuvering," the Baron declared. "To wit, you missed." He smiled triumphantly. "Who’s next?"
"Darn it," Brian said, "if only my Algainy letter had been correct, I would’ve come back to school sooner and have had more time to practice for this!"
"Well, you didn’t, now, did you?" The Baron said. "And that was all my doing! MwAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"You mean…" Super Jen began, "you’re…"
"Yes! I was the one who sent that falsified letter to Brian! At the very least, it would delay him in arriving back at Moadville, or throw him off-balance.!
"Which also means," Pouch said, "that you know…"
"Yes! I know who you are! All of you!" The Baron pointed at the Argonauts, his gaze sweeping them all. "You, and you, and—" He paused when he saw Anne. "I don’t know you—you must be a freshman."
"Yeah." Anne nodded.
"Anyway, I know all of you!"
"Ha! But there’s one thing you’re forgetting!" Brian said.
"And what would that be?"
"We’re the main characters! If you’ve found out our secret identities, that means you’re going to be gotten rid of very soon, before you can divulge the information!"
"Is that true?" Anne whispered to Super Jen.
"Eh," Super Jen shrugged, "it happens in Sailor Moon all the time."
"Bah!" the Baron AlVair bah’d. "You’ll never stop me!" With that, he pulled out his cane and lunged at the Argonauts.
Brian jumped in the way and grabbed hold of the cane, trying to pull it away from the Baron. AlVair grunted in surprise, tightening his grip and pulling it back. The two locked in struggle, glaring at each other over the length of polished wood, both straining to wrest it from the other’s grip. There was a crackle of energy, and then Brian was thrown off to land on the floor.
The Baron smiled as Brian lay sprawled on the marble. He turned slightly to face the other Argonauts, to see who his next target should be, when Brian leapt up and charged him, reaching for the cane. His hands closed around it just as the Baron was slipping it into mallet space through his cape—
There was a burst of energy.
Brian was gone.
* * *
Flip leapt at his attacker with a spear head to the man’s floating rib. But Oouchi was already turning to his left. He deflected the blow with his right palm while swinging his left leg around to connect his heel with the side of Flip’s head.
But Flip saw it and his left arm was ready. The force of a wrecking ball struck against Flip’s tensed forearm. The momentum slid him a foot to the right. But no matter—Flip threw a front snap kick at Oouchi’s exposed right knee. It didn’t connect. The impact from his kick had forced Himagawa into the ground giving him enough pressure to launch a back flip that sent him up and over Flip. Flip shifted his weight, turned his body 90 degrees, and transformed his front kick into a sidekick, rocketing straight for the man’s head. But Oouchi had sunk into a horse stance. The kick went right over his head. Himagawa threw a reverse punch right at Flip’s exposed groin. Flip grunted and said a quick prayer of thinks that all guy costumes came equipped with cups. However, the strike still didn’t feel good.
"Focus," thought Flip as he crashed his already extended heel down on Oouchi’s shoulder. That succeeded in causing Oouchi to grunt while collapsing onto his stomach. Flip released his guard for a split second will focusing himself. It proved to be a split second too long. In that split second Oouchi rolled forward into a hand stand, clamped Flip’s head between his two sneakers and then flipping back down on his stomach sending Flip flying 30 yards.
"Focus," thought Flip again as he shifted his body, tightened his legs and landed on his feet. After skidding about two feet, Flip stopped.
Himagawa had returned to his feet. The two masters stared at each other across their battlefield. Their minds emptied in that silent moment as they peered into each other’s souls. Flip looked deep into his opponent’s soul and found what he had hoped he would never find: he was out-classed. Oouchi Himagawa was better trained than he was. But that was okay, thought Flip. There was more to a fight than simple skill level. There was drive and determination and passion. These were foreign concepts to a man such as Oouchi. But Himagawa could see the fear in his opponent’s eyes, despite the Argonaut’s attempts to conceal it. Flip was still an amateur at masking his emotions. Himagawa smiled.
Oouchi charged, vaulted himself up and over Flip, and threw a right punch at the back of Flip’s head. But the superhero was too quick. He turned to his right, made a circle block with his right hand and caught Oouchi’s wrist in his downward grip. Oouchi pressed forward and to the left figuring he could get Flip’s right arm behind him and in a lock. No you don’t, thought Flip as he locked down with his lats turning his arm into an unmovable pole. Oouchi still pushed. Flip lifted his right leg and used Oouchi’s force to spin him around and connect a hook kick to the back of his opponent’s head. Oouchi rolled with the kick and got back to his feet before Flip’s foot was back on the ground.
Flip launched into a skip-in sidekick to close the distance. Oouchi went down into a horse stance and brushed the kick to the side, then immediately leapt forward and up from his stance. Shifting his weight, he sent the ball of his back foot to connect squarely with Flip’s chin. Flip’s head whipped back and he fell back with a thud.
Oouchi watched the fallen superhero’s chest and saw that it was rising and falling. "Good." said Oouchi Himagawa to his unconscious opponent. "My employer wanted you alive for the second phase of his plan."
* * *
There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone looked at the Baron and the space where Brian had been a moment before. AlVair, surprised at this recent turn of events, reached into his cape and pulled out his cane.
"B-Brian…" Super Jen gasped. Anne was wide-eyed in surprise. Pouch and Seeker just gaped.
There was no Argonaut attached to the cane. Only an empty Highlander hat hung on one end. Super Jen screamed.
"Oh my god!" Pouch exclaimed, "you sent our leader into a metaphysical void from which he’ll probably never return!"
The Baron rubbed the back of his head. "Yes, well…I’m terribly sorry about that. If there’s anything I can do, really—"
"Bring him back, jerk!" Super Jen screamed, her voice nearly cracking with hysteria.
The Baron blinked; wary of the wrath of Super Jen’s umbrella, he reached back into his cape. "Well, you see, I don’t think I can," he said after a moment of rummaging had turned up nothing.
"Seeker?" Pouch asked.
"Hmm…I’m working on it." Seeker ran various scans on the Baron’s cape. "To be honest, I don’t know that much about the mechanistics of mallet space. I hate to say this, but with what I have on hand right now, I’m out of my league. To have any chance at finding out how to bring him back, I’m going to need the computers back at the Dungeon, and it’ll still take time."
"Well…" the Baron said, not quite sure what to say. He hadn’t planned for this. Then—"Ha ha ha! But my plan has succeeded! Brian of the Argonauts is forever out of the picture!"
"What?" Anne exclaimed. "This was part of your plan too?!"
"But of course! And it went perfectly! Now your leader is trapped in mallet space! Mwahaha!" He struck a dramatic pose and flapped his cape once more. "And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a nugget to steal, and a Grand Exit to make!" A small capsule dropped from his cape, and exploded into a thick cloud of smoke.
The Argonauts coughed, and tried to see through the smokescreen, but it was to no avail. There was a sound of shattering glass, the piercing wail of an alarm going off, and over it all, a well-practiced maniacal laughter. Seeker’s infrared scanners activated, and he scanned the room, trying to target the Baron; but by the time he located the dashing criminal, he was nothing but a shadow leaping silently out of a window.
The smoke cleared, to the sound of much coughing and strangled cries of "Somebody stop him!", each addressed to all the other Argonauts, whom each hoped were in a better position than they themselves were.
"He’s gone," Seeker said. He looked at the display case, which was now shattered and empty. "And he got the nugget, too."
"Damn! And the museum’s gonna be angry at us," Pouch said. "This is gonna look bad for our reputation."
Seeker scanned the area. "Look, he’s gotten away. There’s really nothing we can do at this point. We’ll leave the rest to the police for now. Right now, we need to focus on returning to the Dungeon and trying to find a way to get Brian back."
"Aye. Let’s go," said Pouch. He, Anne and Seeker left the museum, filing out quietly, just as police sirens began to blare in the distance.
Super Jen stood silently for a long moment, staring at the empty Highlander hat on the floor. Then, coming slightly out of her shock, she picked it up, and turned to follow the others back to the Dungeon.
Author’s Notes
Special thanks go out on this episode to Charlie, who contributed the Flip portions of the story, seeing as how I know very little about specialized martial arts moves, save the ones on Sailor Moon, like the "Mad Scramble to Get Out Of the Way" and the "Sonic Boom Screech" and the "Throw Oneself at Tuxedo Mask Defense".
Also thanks to Mark, the Baron AlVair’s secret identity, who gave good ideas for his role in this episode and the last. His character also made a previous and brief cameo as a random student in season 1, episode 9, if you’re one of those continuity freaks and for some reason want to know.
‘DW’ is the nickname for Darkwing Duck. It’s a great animated Disney show; if you haven’t seen it, see it!
Anyway, I’d like to ask all you fascinated readers to please hold onto your hats. It starts getting weird from here on out.