Miyako- Modern day Kyoto, capital of Japan in the Heian period, 11th century
Amida Buddha- Buddha of Paradise, where people could be reborn through their
faith
Koto- 13 stringed instrument
Shoji- paper door
Waka- poem
Sakura- cherry blossom
Monogatari- a telling, a story
Tatami- a mat made of rushes or straw
Murasaki- lavender
Furin- a windbell
Cicada- a noisy insect, associated with summer
The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry
Chapter 2- Illusion, Who Lets No One See Her Face
As life flows on, who ever will read it? This keepsake to her whose memory
will never die?
-Murasaki Shikibu
Her eyes flickering easily over the page, Ami read from her assignment
book. There was a great feeling of satisfaction, getting work done, and done
well. She felt content, having completed Friday's test, and even Usagi was
giggling that she thought she did well on the exam in social studies.
*For her, a miracle, but if I were to fail, imagine the shock of it. The
illusion I cast over myself would be shattered.*
And it was true. Some viscous people would smile when a good person at
last
seems to fail; but to Ami it could destroy her. It wasn't that Ami thought
she had failed. It was simply that her grades had become such a part of her
personality that the rest of her was lost within it, and it was forgotten
that there was more to her mind than her schoolwork. Shaking her head with a
slight bit of sadness and laughter, she watched Usagi and Minako giggling in
the corner of Rei's room, having broken into Rei's stash of manga, and were
reading and commenting as they progressed through the story.
"Minako-chan, what are you reading?"
Minako's red bow bobbed up as she glanced up from the manga, and grinned.
"Magic Knight Rayearth! I am so Hikaru!"
Rei snorted from her computer, where she was idly surfing along the
Internet. "And that would make me who? Umi?"
"Uh-huh. And Ami is Fuu!"
Rei rolled her eyes and returned to the monitor.
*Actually, I'd rather be Presea.*
"Chibi-Usa-chan," Ami asked, "would you pass the cookies?"
Ami had her books out before her as one would expect, and since it was
Friday and they weren't studying, everyone was sprawled out, and food was
scattered around the room, brought by both Chibi-Usa and Makoto, as well as
a frozen pizza provided by Rei's refrigerator. Luna and Artemis were curled
up asleep in another room. With no enemies, and tests completed, even Luna
didn't have a reason to lecture Usagi on studying. Diana sitting quietly on
the table, watching the girls as they read and talked.
"Sure!" The pink haired girl pushed the tray over the table, and peered
at
Ami's work. "I'm still working on getting them to look prettier, but they
still taste good."
Ami bit into the cookie and smiled down at her friend's daughter. "Hai,
Chibi-Usa-chan. They taste great. Is Mako-chan helping you?"
"No," Makoto intoned from the other side of the room, where she was
reading
a music magazine, hanging upside down off Rei's bed. "Hey, there's an
article in here about Michiru's last concert. Good reviews."
"Big surprise," Rei commented, not taking her eyes from the screen.
"Michiru always gets good reviews."
Usagi sighed, looking up from the manga with stars in her eyes. "I wish I
could play violin like that!"
There were a few groans.
"Nani?" Bewildered, Usagi looked around. "Nani? Minako-chan?" Minako just
shook her head despairingly. "Ami-chan! Nani?"
"Usagi-chan, you do remember your last attempt to try to play the
violin?" Usagi blinked. "Oh yeah." She moped a little bit, but got
distracted by the
manga after a moment, managing to hold the book open awkwardly with her
wrist.
Ami began to glance at the clock. Seven. Eight. More chatter and
discussion. Minako's new dress, the peace that had settled on them, Usagi
and Mamoru, Makoto's new recipe, Chibi-Usa's latest school project, Usagi
and Mamoru again, and Michiru's next concert.
*I want to speak to Rei alone, not with them all here. I'm still not even
sure what to say about it. Patience, Ami, be patient. At least they aren't
asking you if you're all right constantly anymore. And Usagi is looking
better. That's good.*
Her thoughts were restless, and she tried to hide it behind the facade of
studies. As it always seemed to, what was considered to be usual hid her
nerves. There was the sound a clock striking nine in the hallway outside,
and Diana spoke up. "Small Lady, Ikuko-mama told you and the Queen to be
home at nine o'clock. You'll be late."
Chibi-Usa was having her turn with the new manga, and leapt up in perfect
unison with her mother, except Chibi-Usa didn't let out a painstaking
screech upon realizing she was late.
"Mom's gonna kill me!" Usagi began to grab at her things, rushing
frantically around the room.
"Speaking of moms killing daughters, I'd better get going too," Minako
added, slipping on her shoes. "Ja ne, minna!" Minako darted out the door as
Usagi finished flinging on her pink jacket, and they heard Minako calling
for Artemis as she headed out of the house.
"Chibi-Usa! Let's run!"
"Hai! Come on, Diana!" The grey kitten jumped into her Lady's arms, and
Luna appeared in the doorway, frowning.
"Usagi, your mother wanted Chibi-Usa home before it got late."
"Hey! You were the one asleep this time! You should have told me!" Usagi
bolted for the door.
"Freeze, odango!" Rei screeched, pointing, as Usagi was two strides from
the door. "Give it back!"
"But, Rei-chan..." Usagi tried to edge closer to the door.
"Now!"
Biting her lip, Usagi handed over the manga she had been trying to sneak
out, and then escaped out the door, running full tilt, Chibi-Usa on her
heels.
"She does know how to make an exit," Makoto commented as she stood up and
set aside the magazine. "I'd better get going too." Makoto shrugged into her
jacket. "See you two later."
"Ja ne, Mako-chan," Ami waved.
"Bye, Mako-chan," Rei sighed as she began to clean up the remaining mess.
"Here, I'll help." The two elements of opposing powers silently moved
about
the room, picking up plates and cups, straightening pillows and replacing
manga and magazines.
"Thanks, Ami-chan," Rei told her as they balanced dirty dishes between
the
two of them, heading to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. Rei
looked at Ami, and could see that there were thoughts playing across her
face. Better to let her speak on her own terms, Rei decided, knowing Ami was
unlikely to blurt out a true problem. There was an aura ghosting around her,
and it made Rei's skin prickle. At first she had thought it merely Ami's
mood; but it was not, she was certain of that now.
Dishes clattering, Ami handed Rei dish after dish as they loaded the
dishwasher. "Rei-chan?"
Rei tried not to jerk her head up too quickly. "Hai, Ami-chan?"
"I..." She shook her head.
Rei tilted her head to one side, and watched Ami patiently. "Everything
okay?"
"How do you know when there is evil? How do you sense it?"
Rei blinked uncertainly for a moment, and leaned against the counter,
thinking. "I don't think there's a way to explain how you sense something.
You just do."
"I know you use a banishment to dispel evil spirits...."
"Is there something haunting you?" This wasn't exactly what Rei had been
expecting to hear from Ami. "A youma? Is there an enemy?" Rei was on the
alert, fearing the current peace would be broken.
"Oh, no, nothing like that..."
Shutting the dishwasher and turning it on, Rei asked, "Then what is it?"
She settled herself on a chair behind the counter.
"I just..."
Rei was frowning at her.
*How to explain this? Should I just tell her? About Kami? No. No, this is
for me to fight.*
Continuing carefully, Ami stood across the kitchen floor, the sound of
the
dishwasher whirring behind her, the faint scent of soap drifting in the air.
"I have this dream. And each time, something bad happens at the end of it.
There was lightning the first time, then..." *It seems so silly, saying it
out loud...*. "fireflies. I thought maybe there was some way to banish the
darkness in the dream."
Rei was thinking, idly drawing circles with a finger on the countertop.
"Dreams are often reflections of our own thoughts. You're suggesting
something supernatural, as though someone else was bringing the dream to
you. Are you sure this is real?"
*She doesn't believe me....*
"I just wanted to know...it's really nothing...gomen ne, it's just a
reoccurring dream with some variations.... Gomen ne, for bringing it up."
Ami shook her head. "I really must get going."
"Ami-chan," Rei began, then changed her mind of what she was going to
say.
"There are many ways to banish evil. 'Aku Ryo Tai San' is only one way. Try
to find the way within the dream. Dreams often become their own reality."
Ami smiled faintly, sadly. "Arigatou, Rei-chan." The two went back to
Rei's
room, and Ami gathered her things.
"You know that I'll help you if you need it."
"I can handle it myself, Rei." Ami snapped, then blinked, looking at
Rei's
startled face. It was a rare thing for Ami to say anything so sharply. Ami
opened her mouth to apologize, shut it again, then blurted, "Gomen ne,
Rei-chan...." Ami met her friend's eyes evenly. "But this is a thing I must
do myself."
Rei nodded once in acceptance, and then Ami left to return home.
*Even though, for these last two nights, I have dreamed, I still wonder
if
I will return. Dreams pass by so easily. The way within the dream. Something
is hanging on Kami. She was right to tell me it doesn't matter how or why I
come to that strange place. It doesn't. There is something else at stake
here. I only hope that I am not chasing my own shadow.*
Since Ami wished to sleep, she didn't. The sleep of dreams eluded her,
and
only the wakefulness of her wondering mind kept her occupied. She didn't
want to read. That would require concentration on a subject or story that
was not questioning her part in Kami's trouble. Snug in the warmth of her
covers, she did not want to move. She would look at the clock, green digits
glowing faintly, and see that only another minute had passed from the
previous one. She lay on her back. Side. Stomach. Back again, restless. For
one accustomed to doing work immediately, it was hard to be patient, trying
to estimate the whim of a dream.
There was a light fixture on her ceiling, with clouded glass. Out of the
misted panes, tiny flowers had been cleared, long petaled. And when these
petals began to brighten and fall around her, lighting her room, Ami
breathed deeply, and there was the fragrance of wildflowers.
"Kanashimi-chan! You'll get your dress dirty!" Kami laughed, and Ami felt
her hand grasped, and was pulled to her feet. "What are you doing, lying on
the ground like that? You'll get your Whitewater all full of grass stains!
And you know how difficult those are to wash out."
Kami wore a simpler version of Chrysanthemum Rain, the same lavender
coloring, but dark on the uppermost layer, most likely more practical, since
the dark color was less prone to stains from the ground.
Ami looked at Kami, and realized they were exactly the same height.
*I don't know what I was doing on the ground...but the day here is
lovely...it even looks natural, without the brightness or darkness of the
previous days. Only sunny. *
"I was only looking at the sun, Kami-chan."
Kami's plucked eyebrows lifted, and she looked disbelievingly at Ami.
"You
look Amaterasu-sama in the face? Eeee, then you either have much better
eyes, or are much braver than me, ne?"
Ami shook her head with a smile, and watched Kami carefully.
*If there is a youma, ghost or demon haunting her, then I will find out
in
this journey into her world. I wonder...she is surely the one summoning me
here. I wonder how....*
"Kami-chan?"
"Hai?" Kami had begun to wander further along the narrow path they walked
on. Glancing furtively behind her, Ami saw the curving slope of the
mansion's roof on a low rise, and there was high, pale green grass around
where she stood, some wildflowers breaking the greenery with tiny pools of
color. Turning, Ami saw the willow they had settled under when writing their
poetry. There were more of the noisy sounds of the cicadas, summertime
insects clattering their racket.
Wind sending her hair into eddies, Ami replied, "Kami-chan, do you do
magic?"
Kami gave her a blank stare.
*Apparently not. Then what....?*
"Do you need a spell, Kanashimi-chan?"
*Or then again, maybe....*
"Yes, I think so. I've felt a great darkness about me lately. I wish to
banish it."
Kami looked slightly agitated, and was beginning to wring her hands, but
the expression on her face was one of deep contemplation. Her hair swung in
a black river down her back, as she paced a bit, hesitating, then deciding.
"Ah. I have it. We will work a magic for you, get rid of the old bad energy.
I will perform the ceremony as well." Kami looked a little uncertain.
"Lately, I have had the most strange dreams. Of places far away, I believe.
There were dark things there, Kanashimi-chan." Her face filled with some
light, as she took Ami's arm. "I saw the most peculiar thing though! People
fought with the darkness, as though it were tangible and solid, not a thing
at all for priests to banish. Ah, I wish I could do such things!" The
expression faded, like the sun being covered by a dancing cloud, shadowing
then lightening the sea of grass.
*Did she see the senshi, battling? Does this confirm that there is a
youma?
I shouldn't jump to conclusions....*
But Kami was leading Ami further down the meandering path, and stopping
them in a cluster of flowers. "Some of these. Yes, grass orchids. These will
work. It would have been better if we had fasted to cleanse ourselves,
but...we can do this anyway. Help me pick some?"
They set themselves to gathering the grass orchids, careful not to break
off too many of the leaves. Each had a full armload of the plant, and Kami
led the way down to the riverbank, where the waters swiftly flowed
downstream.
Closing her eyes, Kami took her bouquet, and swept it over her body, the
leaves brushing against her silk robes. As Ami watched her perform this
ritual, she watched the leaves take on shimmering shades, red and blue and
green, which deepened into midnight shades of black.
*Into the leaves of grass orchids, she places all her doubts and worries.
There are many ways to banish evil. 'Try to find the way within the dream.
Dreams often become their own reality.' If that is so, then could this do
it? Banish whatever is causing the darkness around Kami? Maybe. Then...is
this it?*
Ami swept the leaves over herself, and into them placed all her fear and
worry, letting it soak into the plant. She watched the leaves grow heavy
with her doubts and worries, saturated with the things she fought with in
her mind. Opening her eyes, Ami saw that Kami was waiting for her.
Stepping closer to the ledge of the high bank, her sandals made a soft
tapping noise against the rock. "Are you coming?" Kami asked without
turning.
Ami took her place beside Kami, and together, they threw the grasses into
the blue river, seeing them break apart and swirl in the rippling currents,
their worries tumbling apart and dissolving in the strength of the water,
even as they swirled together.
*I don't know why, but I feel as though the world has been removed from
my
shoulders.*
Ami let out a deep breath, and she heard a similar sound from Kami. "I
feel
better," Ami told her.
Smiling, Kami agreed. "So do I. Let all the sad energies return to the
earth, and be washed away. I prayed that I would be a great lady in Miyako.
What did you pray for?"
*What did I pray for?*
"I prayed that the only illusions I cast will be real ones."
And the world did seem brighter. Golden shades reflected off the grass
and
the trees, and the river became silver and molten in the growing light. Ami
smiled, looking around at the beauty of the day. But as she looked at Kami,
her face fell. Kami was looking at the sun, bewildered, and shaking her
head. "Ah," she said, "that is a good thing to pray for. But it is too bad
that it's nearly nighttime, ne? The sun is already setting. We'd better go
back home, or else get caught out in the dark."
"But Kami-chan, it's so bright out." Ami knew the sound of her voice was
plaintive. If Kami still had the darkness hanging around her, then whatever
she had needed to banish was still lingering.
*Maybe I should have had Rei help me. Maybe I can't do this alone. I
don't
even know what to look for, and Kami will only come to harm in the end.*
"Bright? No, it's nighttime. See how the sun sets?" She pointed at the
empty horizon. "It is lovely, with the purples and reds. Ah, Kanashimi, I am
so glad you come visit me." Kami turned and began to walk back up the path.
"I like our quiet talks. Sometimes, too many people," she made a dismissive
motion with her hand. "get noisy. Don't you agree?"
*She doesn't want me to bring Rei. How does she know that is what I was
considering? Does she know? Coincidence?*
"Hai, Kami-chan."
She nodded. "Oh, I wish we had a lantern! It is so dark!" Kami began to
turn around, to search for Ami, who stood only a pace or so behind her.
"Kanashimi-chan? Kanshimi-chan? Where are you?" Her voice grew panicked. "I
can't see you! Kanashimi-chan!"
As Kami's world darkened into night, Ami's lit into the brilliance of
day,
more specifically the ocean of light that fell onto her face through her
window.
*She's still trapped. I've still failed. But I'm not giving up yet.*
Thinking out a plan in the early hours of the morning, Ami decided to
visit
Setsuna again. First, to ask if she knew of any person who would fit Kami's
description. It was a long shot, but Ami felt certain that with Kami's
persistence in her dream of going to court, she may have been seen by the
Soldier of Time. Ami doubted that Kami could fail in going, even though
having to wait. And Setsuna had a very good memory. Second, Ami had looked
at the waka that Kami had copied out.
*It is so sad. Odd, though, that she tell me it was a day not to write
sad
things.*
But despite this, Ami loved the poem, and found herself repeating it in
her
head. She decided to ask if she may borrow Setsuna's copy of 'The Tale of
Genji.' Perhaps refreshing her memory of Kami's era would help, or give her
ideas. The book she had read had been from the library, and not her own.
Together, with her determination to figure this mystery out, Ami set out
once again to the home of the Outer Senshi.
There was a great deal of quiet at the house. The bus ride had been
bumpy,
jostling her along in an uneven drive, on an equally lumpy seat. Ami rapped
her knuckles against the door, hoping she would be heard. Even from the
porch, she could hear the sound of 'The Marine Cathedral' pouring out music
like the tide. A few moments, and Ami knocked again, this time the tune
pausing. She rang the bell, and the silence continued as she heard footsteps
in the hallway, and a blur of motion through the stained glass window to the
side of the door.
Michiru appeared, smiling but puzzled to see Ami there. "Ami-chan.
Please,
come in." She held open the door and Ami stepped inside. Ami tried not to
stare at Michiru, as Michiru tried not to stare at her. "Ami-chan, I think
we've been shopping in the same store."
Ami couldn't help but laugh once, as did Michiru. They turned to look in
the hall tree's mirror, and saw that they each wore loose, baggy jeans and
nearly identical high collared sweaters. Only Ami's was lavender, and
Michiru's green.
Michiru laughed, taking a hairband off her wrist and ponytailing her
hair.
"Well, great minds, ne, Ami-chan?"
"I suppose."
"Come in. Can I help you?"
"Actually, I was looking for Setsuna-san. Is she home?"
Michiru was already shaking her head. "Gomen, no. Setsuna is at the
Observatory today. Haruka took Hotaru-chan over to Chibi-Usa's. Just me
home, practicing."
"Oh. Well." Ami fidgeted.
I may not be able to ask Setsuna about Kami, but I can still ask about
Genji.
"Michiru-san, I was going to ask Setsuna if I could borrow a book from
her...."
"Ah. What? I'm sure she won't mind." Michiru began to lead her down the
hallway to the library, pulling open the door. Her violin and its case lay
neatly on the desk, a sheaf of sheet music lay scattered on the sofa, except
for one, which was pinned open on the music stand.
"'The Tale of Genji.'" Ami told her, craning her neck to look around the
room. She stepped into the checkerboard of light the high window splashed
onto the floor. "I'm trying to do research into the Heian period."
Thinking, Michiru looked at the spines of the lining books. "Setsuna has
this all arranged somehow. Of course," she waved a hand at the walls,
"Haruka and I can never figure it out. Hotaru all but lives in here. But I
think she keeps the classics over here...." Michiru began to dig through the
titles, peering sideways as she edged along the wall. After a moment, Ami
chose another area of the wall, tapping a finger against each book as she
passed it.
"Michiru! I found it. Look." Ami plucked it off the shelf. "They're in
historical order. See? There's the Illiad, Odyssey, Aeneid...Consolation of
Philosophy, Tale of Genji."
Michiru had a hand to her temple, and shook her head. "She would put them
in the order that they were written."
"Haven't you read any of these, though, Michiru-san? They're classics."
"Of course. But I keep my own in my room. Setsuna just is far too
hidebound." Michiru began to pluck at 'The Marine Cathedral' and the soft
notes filled the library.
Ami flipped through the first few pages of the edition she held, looking
at
the woodcuts that had been placed into the text, illustrating scenes from
the story.
"Was there anything else, Ami?" Michiru asked, settling her violin under
her chin.
"Oh...no, that's all. Arigatou."
Michiru took the violin off her shoulder. "I think there is. Come, you
can't keep secrets from another water senshi. It sets the tides wrong."
*I always forget, that the Outers seem to sense things more easily than
we
Inners. Perhaps that will come with age. Or experience.*
"I...well," Ami stuttered, and Michiru shut her violin case, turning with
her hands on her hips.
"The tides turn darkly," Michiru decided. "Setsuna told us what you said
to
her and Hotaru, about the Princess. It's not that, is it?"
"No...no, not really." She sounded a little doubtful.
"Then what is it?"
*I don't want to explain about Kami to her. We are of one element, and in
that way we are alike. Yet something still restrains me from saying any
more.*
Ami shook her head. "It's just gotten to me, that I wasn't able to move
swiftly enough."
Michiru was looking at Ami very hard, her expression unreadable, save for
the storm of shifting current running through her eyes. Abruptly, Michiru
stood, having come to a decision, and went to the library's desk, taking out
a pad of paper and a pencil.
"Draw it," she commanded the younger girl.
"Nani?"
Slapping the pad and pencil down on the end table before Ami, Michiru sat
down on the far end of the sofa. "Sit, and draw it."
"Oh, I can't-"
Michiru made a dismissive sound, almost as though insulted. "You cannot
face a fear until you have invoked it. Draw what it is that is upsetting
you. Look at it."
"But I can't-"
Cutting her off, Michiru grabbed the remaining sheet music and cleared a
space for Ami to sit. She stacked it, and set it aside. "Just because you
are the one who is known for science, and I for art, doesn't mean I can't
use a computer, and you can't paint. Draw what worries you, and maybe you
will find some peace."
*And if I leave now, then what? I have little choice. What difference
does
it make, anyway?*
Ami perched on the edge of the sofa, taking the pencil and leaning over
the
pad awkwardly. She began to sketch, erased, sketch again.
Michiru watched for a moment, then got up, and paced the room, finally
picking up 'The Marine Cathedral' again, reluctant to leave Ami to complete
the job herself. She needs to be pushed, Michiru decided. Too timid, without
someone to force her to use the strength she already has. Always afraid of
someone watching, criticizing. Ami shifted on the couch, and tucked her legs
up under her, the paper tablet against her thighs, and she sketched, pencil
flying.
Nodding in satisfaction, Michiru began to send her bow gliding over the
strings, and let the room fill with the tide of her waltz.
From her point, Ami felt her work halting, unsure of what to do. Michiru
played almost constantly, but the pauses when she changed songs broke Ami's
concentration.
*Father painted beautiful watercolors. Maybe I inherited some small
amount
of his skill.*
She filled the page with the loose, floating costume of Chrysanthemum
Rain.
*Not tight and stiff, like an obi on a kimono. Loose and fluid.*
Kami's face looked distant, her eyes empty and somewhat sad. Holding a
brush in her right hand, her left clasped around a sheet of paper, tiny
calligraphy characters being shadowed onto it. Her hair was still bound back
in the great loops, the rest spilling down and swirling around her ankles
and curling into puddles at her feet, where she knelt on the tatami.
Ami smiled at the picture of the girl. *Living above the clouds, as she
put
it, at the court of the emperor. Writing her waka. But why can't I make her
look happy?*
"I think I'm done."
Michiru paused in her playing, and set down the violin, coming to see
what
Ami had produced. Her eyes widened slightly, and she shook her head. "This
is the image that upsets you?"
"Hai?" Ami answered weakly. It was not the image that Michiru was
expecting, she knew. Something like a black cloud, perhaps, or an ogre to
haunt doorways or curl up under a bed and grab at the unwary when they
sleep, sending bad dreams.
"Then face it," Michiru said finally. "I don't know why you drew her,
but
if whatever she represents is what upsets you, then that is what you must
face." Michiru shrugged.
*She doesn't know what to make of it....but I think her advice is valid.
Face the fear. That is the only way to overcome it. I just have to get Kami
to see the same thing, to get her to fight whatever is haunting her, since
it seems I can't be the one to do it.*
"Arigatou, Michiru-san," Ami said, standing. Michiru smiled, trying to
look
helpful. "Tell Setsuna-san that I'll bring her book back in a week, and that
I thank her for lending it to me."
"Of course. You're welcome any time, Ami."
The sun set lowly in the sky, and Ami stared at the food on her plate.
All
the delicious meals in the world would have seemed tasteless, since she was
so preoccupied with Kami and what she should or should not say. Come right
out? Ask if there was something haunting her? She had asked if Kami had
magic before, and the answer had been no, but then immediately thrown into
doubt, since the purification ritual had been performed, and seemed so real.
"Ami-chan, are you okay? You've been so distracted these last few days."
"Fine, Mom." Ami looked up, smiling at her mother. Dr. Mizuno had spent
the
day in the kitchen, making a roast. Ami was glad to have her mother home for
awhile. Time at the hospital always seemed to keep her away. "Just
thinking."
"What about?"
*Mom does try so hard, even though she knows she's not around much.
Especially since Dad left so long ago....*
"What life must have been like in the eleventh century."
Dr. Mizuno paused, glass of wine to lips, then burst into laughter.
"Ami-chan, you always do have the oddest things going on in your head!"
Ami looked confused for a moment, then realized how out of context that
must seem to her mother. Ami joined in the joke, shaking her head. "No, no,
see, I'm re-reading 'The Tale of Genji,' and it just has me thinking."
Dr. Mizuno sipped thoughtfully from the glass. Setting it on the table,
she
took up a fork, and speared a bit of meat, but hesitated before putting it
in her mouth. "I remember reading that for school ages ago. I don't remember
it all that well. There was something about the color purple in it...no,
lavender."
Frowning in concentration, she tried to remember.
"Well, Murasaki wrote it. Her name means lavender."
"No, that's not it...the sensei said something about...affinity! That's
right. That lavender color was a symbol of affinity." Nodding firmly, Dr.
Mizuno looked satisfied that she remembered something from so long ago.
Lying with her eyes wide, Ami waited for the sleep of dreams to claim
her,
her head placed in the center of her pillow, arms curled up over her chest.
It was warm and soft, the comfort of a safe bed and a tired body. *Please,
let me sleep....I'm tired. Please, let me sleep, and let me dream of Kami
and her world again....* There she waited, looking at the ceiling light,
where no brightness glowed, or at the numbers of her alarm clock. Time
ticked by, and her sight was filled with an ink black haze, perfumed with
the texture of a rich scent....
"Kami-chan, that is a wonderful smell." Ami said softly as she drew aside
the shoji door, whisking her skirts within after her. Kami's head perked up,
and her lavender eyes smiled in recognition as Ami entered the room.
"Ah, Kanashimi-chan! Come, sit!" Kami set aside her pestle and gestured
at
a pillow across from her. The table that lay before them was filled with
powders and etched porcelain bowls of different sizes, a large jar of honey
among them, sunlight glinting off the amber coloring. "Come, you must help
me! I've been at this for hours." She pushed a bowl and pestle at Ami, who
settled her robes about her in a pool of whitewater. Taking up the bowl, Ami
sniffed it slightly, and smiled.
"This is a wonderful smell. What is it called?"
"That is Plumberry Tears, my own recipe. I've been experimenting. Here,
smell this one." Kami urged another bowl at Ami, and she leaned in to take
in that scent as well.
"And that one?"
"Maidenflower Unfaded, my newest experiment. Isn't it lovely? Here,
please
help."
Ami did as she was instructed, taking up the pestle and copying Kami's
diligent pounding, beating the mixture into a thick paste. "For how long,
Kami-chan?"
"Two thousand beats. It must be a very fine paste, to have the incense
come
out just right. All this work would be pointless, if not done right, ne?"
"Hai," Ami agreed, and bent to her work of blending.
*This is so peaceful.*
They sat alone in the room, the windows to the outside open, a soft
breeze
stirring their hair on occasion. There was the sound of the cicadas outside
noisily going about their business, sounding the alarm that summer was
there, and its heat. Bright sunlight splashed across the faces of the girls
who sat and worked at their mixing, making the colors of their hair glint in
the shimmering tones of the afternoon. After a few minutes, it could be
felt, warming Ami in her robes, and setting a stiffness in her back from
sitting without a chair. But she ignored this, wondering the best way to
come casually about to her question.
*Asking flat out if there is something haunting her is just ridiculous.
Who
would say that? Well, I suppose Usagi-chan could, but it would seem normal
from her, not me. How do you ask a person if they have a ghost hanging
around them?*
The soft grating sound of pestle against clay bowl continued a few more
moments, until Kami coughed once, lightly, interrupting the quiet that hung
between them.
"Are you all right, Kami-chan?"
"Eh? Hai, I am. How is yours?"
"I think it's nearly done."
"Ah, good. Let me see." Ami tilted the bowl for her to see the smooth
paste. "Very good. Here, have you made this before?"
"No."
"Ah. Here, roll it into a ball, this size," Kami demonstrated by rolling
a
dark ball the size of a thrush's egg. From the other side of the table, she
pulled out a ceramic jar. "Then in here. We'll bury it in the garden, with
the morning glories. It will make a nice fragrance, ne?"
"Hai, very nice, Kami-chan," Ami agreed, imitating Kami's gestures and
rolling the paste into the egg sized balls. They passed a moment this way,
and Ami finally asked, "Kami-chan, have you been feeling all right?"
Her response was a cough, deeper and with Kami's sleeve covering her
lips.
She flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, just a passing cough. I'm fine,
Kanashimi-chan."
Ami blinked. "Oh, that's not what I meant...I mean, I'm glad you're all
right, but...other than the cough. The other day you seemed so sad, I wanted
to know if you were well in that way."
Kami laughed lightly. "I'm fine, of course. You're so silly to worry.
You're the one whose name is Sorrow!" She waved a hand in dismissal, setting
down the fragrance blend she mixed.
Ami did not give up so easily. *There is something sad hanging about her,
though I can't place it. I have to find out what it is. For her sake. And
maybe for my own as well.*
"Have you had any strange dreams? Like you spoke of before? The strange
place, and the people who fought? Did any of them come back with you?"
Kami was looking at Ami quizzically, heavy lashes blinking over pale
eyes.
Her deft fingers set down the pestle, and her eyes considered Ami. "Come
with me? No, why should a dream accompany me back from the land of sleep?
There would have to be a strong magic to link such places, or a bridge
between such worlds. Imagine, speaking to one who fought with demons! What
power that must be, to wield."
*I know none of us came here. Well, other than me, and I'm not sure why.
Or
how. But that is not what I meant. She wouldn't be so sad if it were a
senshi. At least I hope not! It must be a youma. Oh god, what if an enemy we
killed is trying to attack her? But how? Through me? But I don't even know
how I got here! None of this makes sense!*
"A great power," Ami agreed aloud. "But what I meant was an evil thing.
You
haven't been attacked, have you? By evil kami?"
Kami was choosing her words carefully, picking her phrases. Delicately,
she
stood, smoothing her skirts and setting aside the incense container. The
damp balls of scent rocked against each other from within it. Kami moved to
the window, and Ami followed her, looking out over the courtyard. No
fireflies hovered there now, and an elegant willow swept its branches across
the stones. "You worry for me, Kanashimi-chan. Far too much about me. You
assume," she lifted a finger, "that it is I who am in need of help."
Smiling, Kami leaned forward on the windowsill, eyes turned up to the sea of
clouds above them. "You seem to think I don't know you're not supposed to be
here."
*She's always behaved as though she didn't know! What is she hiding?*
"Kami-chan," Ami began, but was silenced when Kami suddenly touched her
temple, a look of confusion crossing her tiny features as she winced.
"Ah, forgive me. Amaterasu shines too brightly for me to look into her
face." Kami rubbed her eyes and then the back of her head. "Gomen ne,
Kanashimi-chan." Kami began to step away from the window, but her foot
caught, and she stumbled a step.
Ami took her arm and led her away. "If there is something about that is
trying to hurt you, please, Kami-chan, you must tell me."
"All demons do not attack from without," came soft words, and Kami's
voice
was distant, as though speaking from very far away. She suddenly blinked as
Ami set her back upon a pillow, and knelt beside her, trying to see if her
forehead was warm. "Ah, gomen, I sound silly. I am glad to have you here to
help me, if there was an attack such as that you worry about." Kami patted
Ami's hand and then turned back to her fragrances. "I would be there for
you, if I could. You seem to need the strength to fight a demon in your
heart. Did you know, that if you name a thing, you give it a limit? I name
my demons. You...." Kami looked at Ami thoughtfully, turning her head back.
"Your demon is named....named...." Kami stuttered, then began to blink
rapidly. "Kanashimi-chan," she whispered softly. "Don't move...."
Ami froze as Kami's eyes locked on something behind her shoulders. *Oh
god,
its begun. An attack. This time, I'll protect you, by myself....*
"The most dangerous demons gaze into your heart, and eat your dreams from
within...."
Her voice had become a shattered sound, and when Ami looked into her
eyes,
they grew paler, dim and white, and the ravens of thought crowed in Ami's
mind, clawing their way to the surface, becoming a bitter mirror of sadness,
reflecting her feelings of helplessness.
Though she reached for Kami's hands, they faded away from her, becoming
as
tangible as the mists that flow in the corridors of time. Tiny pinpricks of
light filled her vision, not so unlike the fireflies that had danced before,
the flames that rolled on the tides of her vision.
And then she was set free of the dream, and found herself in room,
surrounded by the things that made her feel safe.
Ami made breakfast for herself, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast with
grape jelly. Her mother was gone, off to work earlier. Fidgeting, Ami
prowled the apartment, unsure if there was something wrong. *There was
something there! I think. I didn't get to see. Damn, what keeps me from
staying long enough to figure things out? I ask her, and she evades it. Then
I don't get a second chance. It's almost deliberate. She wouldn't try to
stop me on purpose, would she? No, that wouldn't make any sense!* Ami got
dressed, tried to read. There was no concentration. She tried to study. The
ink on the page blurred into a swell of black type.
*Argh! I can't take this anymore!*
Across Tokyo, a phone rang.
"Is Usagi there?"
"Yeah, hang on," Shingo's bored voice told her. "Usagi! Phone!" She heard
him shouting up the stairs, his voice distant through the receiver. Pacing,
Ami chewed her lip, pressing the phone to her ear.
"Hello?" Usagi's voice came over the end, tinny through the phone lines.
"Hi, Usagi-chan."
"Ami-chan?" Usagi sounded a little surprised, since Ami rarely called
just
to talk. "Is everything okay?"
"Oh, fine. I just don't have anything to do," suddenly, Ami was seized
with
the unexpected desire to do something. "...so I rented 'Princess Mononoke.'
I wanted to know if you and everyone wanted to come over to watch it."
There was a long pause at the other end of the line.
*You know, I think this is the first time I ever invited anyone to my
apartment, just to sit around and talk or watch a movie. Much less the whole
of the senshi. She's thinking there's something wrong, either that, or that
I'm having a surprise party for her or something. And since it's not her
birthday, she'll dismiss that idea.*
"Sure, Ami-chan!" Usagi's voice came enthusiastically over the other end.
Having recovered from the slight shock, the Moon Princess's usual exuberance
took control. "Should I bring Chibi-Usa too?"
"Sure. And some food. Chips or something."
"Great! I'll be over in ten-"
"An hour, Usagi-chan. I need to call everyone else, too."
"Oh yeah. Okay! An hour! Ja ne!"
There was a click, and dial tone.
*Okay, hopefully that's enough time to run to the video store and get the
movie. And call everyone else.*
Having an apartment full of talkative off-duty senshi didn't help, but
being able to watch the movie distracted Ami a little. And sometimes the
chatter did too. Minako decided that Rei apparently needed a new hairdo, and
ended up doing some kind of weird youma-type thing that was piled up onto
her head in a completely unrealistic gravity-defying style. Rei retaliated
by getting ahold of Minako's red bow, and not letting her have it back,
causing them to chase each other all over the apartment, screaming the whole
time.
They watched the movie, and apparently Ashitaka looks like sempai.
Dr. Mizuno could hardly believe the sight of so many girls hanging around
their living room when she got home that evening. Ami was quietly sitting on
the sofa, smiling and laughing quietly with Makoto, who was still babbling
about Ashitaka, and wondering who the actor was.
"Ami-chan?"
"Mom?" Ami stood, and went to help her mother bring in her briefcase and
shed her coat.
"What is all this?" She gestured to the sprawled out senshi.
"Dr. Mizuno-san!" Usagi leapt up, shouting cheerfully and waving. "Hi!"
Ami's mother smiled back, shaking her head. "Hello, Usagi-san. How many
of
your friends do you have in there, Ami-chan?"
"All of them, I think."
She smiled weakly, and Ami noticed how tired she looked, dark half moons
under her eyes, which were slightly red. "That's good, Ami-chan. I'm glad
you have your friends over. It's nice to meet you all." Dr. Mizuno greeted
the girls. Seeing Chibi-Usa, she blinked. "My, Usagi, if you were a few
years older, I would swear she was your daughter."
Usagi went red in the face, and Chibi-Usa laughed a little. The other
girls
said their hellos, and Dr. Mizuno told Ami she was going to get some sleep.
"Bad day?"
Her mother sighed and nodded. "Meetings, along with the usual. It's all
right...."
"Then maybe we'd better go," Rei commented, tugging the youma hairdo out,
letting it return to its usual black curtain. "We don't want to keep you
up."
"No, no, that's fine-"
"Yeah," Minako agreed. "We've been here since before lunch."
"Can we finish the chips first?" Usagi asked.
"No!" Rei snapped.
"Usagi, Ikuko-mama is making cake for after dinner tonight," Chibi-Usa
reminded her.
Usagi blinked, torn between the chips, which were before her, and the
promise of cake. At long last, she gave in, with a look of determination.
"Shingo is not getting half this time! And neither are you, Chibi-Usa-chan!"
Chibi-Usa got a crafty, slightly too pink-sugar look on her face.
"Oh, no you won't!"
Chibi-Usa grinned.
Usagi began to screech, and Rei had to drag her out along with the rest
of
them.
The room seemed very empty when they had all left, and Ami began to pick
up
the pieces of silverware they had left in their wake. "No, Mom, I have
it...." Ami protested as her mother began to help her in her collection.
"Really. Go get some sleep. You look like you need it."
In reality, Dr. Mizuno was too tired to argue, so with a sigh, she took
the
plates she had assembled into the kitchen, then headed off to the bathroom.
It was early, but it was still that kind of day. Ami sighed, and went about
the business of making dinner for them, which passed quietly into the
oncoming evening. The darkness wrapped around their home, settling in until
burned away by the brightness of the dawn.
*There is a word for this sensation, and I do not like it. Foreboding.
The
night hangs heavily, and it forebodes the darkness. I wonder if I place too
much worry and wonder on the depths of tonight. There is no moon, for Selene
is renewing herself by hiding away. Soon she will be reborn. Tomorrow night,
the moon will glow off the waters in the bay once more. But tonight, the
darkness is at its greatest depth. Maybe then, in the this night without
stars, the darkness will at last attack, and I may see its face. It's not
good to keep holding out like this. We always knew so quickly before. This
demon is different. I can't even see its face. And how do you fight what you
cannot see?*
So...how is it? Enjoying it so far? I hope so....well, on to part 3.....
Ja.
-Queen
(
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