Name: 'The truth about Ami: Revelations', episode 3. 
Author: Cony. 
E-mail: rubi@riemann.mat.puc.cl 
Rated: PG-13. Again, the violence in this chapter boils a bit, but nothing
	extreme. Nothing you wouldn't see on a citcom. 

Stuff at bottom!!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When she finally finished, everyone remained still for some seconds.
Michiru and Haruka were totally astonished. Ami--Reiko, a spy?. A martial
art master?. A secret agent?. It was all too much to bear. The Senshi of
Neptune asked: "Reiko-chan . . . you sure about what you're talking
about?". Reiko's eyes flared in anger, as the older girl questioned her
story. "*Of course*, Michiru-san". A soft hand was placed on her shoulder,
and she turned to see Hiroshi. Their eyes remained locked on each other for
a few seconds, and hundreds of words passed between them. When he released
her shoulder, she was visibly calmer. The stress to tell her story had
taken it's toll. To revive what had happened so long ago, and that she
wanted the most to forget, was no easy task at all . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

While I talked, I could sense my 'friends' thoughts. We're all linked
somehow, and sometimes, I'm able to get glimpses of their minds. 'Demon . .
. . monster . . . murderer . . . stranger . . .'. I close my eyes in
defeat. I've tried so hard to make them understand . . . but they refuse
to. They just can't accept the fact that Mizuno Ami is gone . . . that I'm
Suiseki Reiko now. Before I can continue sinking deeper and deeper into my
fatal mood, I hear a voice: , I think, before actually hearing
what she's going to say: "But . . . this is so weird . . . as if someone
had planned it . . . as if it had been set!". How well do her words express
my own feelings!. How many times have I pondered how many 'coincidences'
led to my encounter with Hiroshi and the agency . . . if I had walked home
with Hikaru that day . . . if I hadn't looked into the alley . . . if I had
chosen death as the alternative . . . so many 'what if's' that it just
can't be a coincidence.

It was as if someone or something was guiding me into that path. As if
someone wanted me to join the agency. "It was". My head bolts up in
surprise as a low voice spoke. My eyes snap open, and land on Setsuna-san.
She was the one who just spoke. Without even noticing it, I stand up, the
chair crashing against the floor behind me. "What did you say?". I almost
scream in amazement. No one stops me this time. I can feel as Hiroshi is
just as surprised as I am. The Senshi of Time speaks again, while playfully
looking at her long red fingernails. "It was planned". Less than a second
before she ends, I'm already by her side, grabbing the edge of her jacket
and forcing her to stand up. "Repeat what you just said". Her magenta eyes
are fixed on mine, full of knowledge and confidence . . . yet deep inside,
I can see a bit of fear on my reaction. But, I'm too shocked and infurated
to realise maybe I'm overdoing this a little . . .

I should be killing her already!!!. If she knew about what was happening,
why didn't she stop it!. If she knew that those events would occur why didn't
she do something??. I mean so little to her?. Well, I'm gonna show her
right now that you don't mess with me and just walk away. Grabbing her
wrist in a dead grip, I use my body to put her over me and throw her with
all the strengh I can onto the opposite wall. A general gasp is heard, but
I don't even feel it. My mind is clouded in rage. All the suffering . . .
the pain . . . the agony . . . could've been avoided?. Hot tears gather on
my eyes, and my heart feels no guilt when she crashes on the wall with a
loud THUMP!. I faintly hear her crying in pain . . . but it's as if it's
far, far away. I'm about to ran to her side and hit her again when a couple
of arms slide from under my arm pits and hold me still.

"Ami-chan, control yourself!". The name . . . that name again . . . it's
back to haunt me . . . I scream in animal rage, and flash a look of total
hate to the one who's behind me. Haruka's light blue eyes tighten in fear
when she sees what a mistake she made. "My name is NOT MIZUNO AMI!!!.
Didn't you learn ANYTHING?". Setting both of my feet firmly on the floor, I
jump upwards. With expert moves, I roll in the air, until our positions
have shifted. Now, I'm the one who's holding her back, but this time, I do
it with violence. She can't help it, and a cry of pain leaves her lips. I
grab both of her hands, and harshly pull them together behind her back. Her
chest is pushed into the air, and her mouth opens in suffering. I'm
stretching her muscles to their best . . . I can't think . . . can't feel .
. . can't breathe . . . only vengeance is my world, only hatred is my soul
. . . they'll pay . . . all of them will pay . . . suddenly, I feel a soft
wind on my back, and a light tap on my back. Just in the middle of my 
shoulder blades. And just as suddenly, every ounce of strengh leaves me. Only
a second is enough for me to know what happened. A scent like the forest 
fills my nostrils . . . Hiroshi . . . he hit my paralyzing spots . . . as the
nerves on my entire body stop working, my hands no longer have the iron fist 
I used to hurt Haruka . . . I can't help but to let her go.

My arms fall to my sides, and I fall to the ground. Strong arms capture me
before I land, and scoop me up. Through hazy eyes, I see Hiroshi's worried
face. "Reiko, are you alright?". I can only nod . . . before hell erupts
inside me. Years and years of pain, suffering an agony come all together in
one mind blowing rush, and tears fell down my eyes. Sobs rake my body over
and over again, and I only can hide my face in his chest. Oh God, how much
I want to die . . . everything is so confusing . . . what's wrong with me?.
I should've known better than to attack Setsuna like that. I cling onto
Hiro-chan for dear life. I was actually willing to kill Haruka-san for a
moment back then. . . what's going on inside my head?. Why can't I control
myself?. The mind controller was removed long ago . . . why do I feel as if
I'm not the one who owns this body?.

My hands wrinkle his clothes, and my salty tears wet his shirt. I can feel
his hand caresing my hair, soothing pain way from me . . . but not even he
can draw away all this frustration I'm feeling. Why can't they understand?.
I want to be who I am . . . not who they want . . . I'm Suiseki Reiko . . .
Reiko . . . the Blue Thunder . . . the pride of the Agency . . . I . . . I
don't know who I am anymore. Those titles are worthless now, with the
agency long gone. Who am I then?. A road-less soul in a world of anger?.
Someone who'll never fit anywhere?. Someone who would be better dead and
forgotten?. Oh Mercury . . . help me . . . tell me what's my purpose in
life . . . why did I became who I am right now?. What sin did I commit on
my past life to deserve such a mess of a life?.

I faintly hear Hiroshi talking: "I touched her strengh source. Now, she
won't move for 15 minutes of so". I thank him innerly, knowing that if he
hadn't stopped me, I would've done something I would've regretted for the
rest of my days . . . why is life such a chaos?. I've seen as everyone
lives a normal life everywhere . . . why does it seem I'm the only one who
suffers?. People worry because they've got a flu . . . don't they think
about people like me who're going through hell right now?. Hiro-chan
craddles me inside his arms, and softly kisses the top of my head . . . poor
Hiroshi . . . with my continued mood swings, I must be a total load for him
. . . thank you, Mercury, for giving me such a wonderful partner . . . if
it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now . . . I would've given up
long ago . . .

Gently, he sits on the chair again, putting me over his lap. I refuse to
look at anyone . . . the look of horror and fear would be too much to bear
. . . I almost killed one of them . . . Usagi speaks softly, trying not to
interrupt the uncomfortable silence that has spread over the room:
"Setsuna-san, would you please tell us what happened?". A rustling sound
reaches my ears. Someone must be sitting . . . probably Meiou-san. Her
serious voice fills the air: "Of course my Princess. As I said before,
everything that happened to Reiko-san was previously planned". A small
smirk appears on my face as I hear her adressing me as 'Reiko-san' . . .
must have hit more than her body . . . I probably injured her pride.
, I tell myself. . I feel as
Hiro-chan tightens his embrace around me. Perhaps he thinks I'll go on a
frenzy again . . . no need to worry about that. I won't move for another 10
minutes. But I don't argue . . . there's nothing more relaxing than to feel
his arms around me.

"As you already know, parallel to our universe, there are other worlds and
dimensions. On them, you also exist . . . with some subtle changes, of
course. No person is the same, even if we talk about the Tsukino Usagi of
three different worlds. Some differences are physical, others emotional . .
. and the most rare yet more dangerous are the phsycological ones. For
example, the Tenou Haruka of the timeline parallel to this one, is more
stable, not as instinct-acting and . . . a boy. That's why in this
dimension, she acts so tomboyish. And the same goes for each and everyone
of you. Some years ago, as the Sailor Mercury of this era was born, another
one, on another world, was already fighting as a Sailor Senshi. Those
Senshi were more separated . . . the differences between the Outer and
Inner were so deep, they didn't talk to each other. And that was one major
cause of their downfall".

Several gasps are heard. My own, I can barely supress it. Shifting slowly
on Hiroshi's arms, I slowly look at Setsuna. Her magenta eyes are semi
closed, as if she was debating with herself the fact that she's telling us
this. Perhaps she's not suppoused to . . . well, as much as the timelines
are altered, I don't give a damm!. I want to know why did I have to got
through hell on this life. She continued, her voice getting more and more
serious with each word: "Yes. They were killed. One by one, the Senshi
dissapeared. Old jealousies and hates arouse, and the Inner fought the
Outer. As incredible as it may sound, the elder were beaten. Uranus and
Neptune were killed by Mars and Mercury. Venus took care of Saturn and my
own version on that world. Jupiter died in the process, struck by Saturn's
Silence Glaive. Usagi and Mamoru never got together again after the fight
against the Dead Moon Family . . . something was really wrong in there".

Only one though ran through my mind, over and over again. My ideal of happy
worlds was being slowly shred into pieces. My other self had killed too?.
*We*, with a Mercury as weak and brainy as Mizuno Ami was, had actually
managed to defeat the Outer Senshi?. The ones who were *definitely* more
powerful than we were?. As I shifted again on Hiroshi's lap, I felt my
energies returning to me. Strengh was slowly entering my fainted limbs,
filling my body with it's warmth and comfort. There's no worst frustration
than to feel weak and defenseless . . . I know very well about *that*.
Setsuna continued, not even watching the effect her words were having on
us: "The remaining Senshi managed to defeat the Dead Moon Circus and the
rest of the Death Busters . . . barely. After every fight, they would be
exahusted . . . and the more time it passed, the more appart they became".

"Soon, none of them reamined in contact. They only gathered when the Senshi
were needed . . . and even then, they would only fight and then leave.
Little by little, resentments appeared. Usagi-san, without the help of
Mamoru-san, was falling into a depression which soon took control over her.
The Guinzhuijou lost it's glow, and became just a piece of stone. And when
they were finally confronted by Sailor Galaxia . . . well, there was no
hope. All their star seeds taken, they died, leving behind the Chaos to
rule the Universe. As the last Senshi was terminated, so did the world's
only hope. Life was soon ended on that dimension, and it vanished into a
black void of nothingness . . . Galaxia was consumed by the Chaos, and life
was vanquished from the Universe, never to appear again . . .".

As she stopped speaking, the gasps and surprised looks were so big, no one
dared to speak. Was that a fate the world could've gone thorugh?. What twist
in destiny changed our paths for good?. I look up to Hiro-chan, who's head is
laying on my hair. He stares back into my eyes . . . silence means so much
to us . . . in three seconds of complete quietness, we speak more than a
thousand words. The fear . . . the relief . . . the surprise . . . so many
emotions that shine through both of our eyes at the same time. That story
makes me think . . . what's my life compared to that?. A whole Universe
destroyed because a group of warriors couldn't wash their differences
away?. It seemed so bizarre . . . but I knew better than to misjudge the
Senshi of Time. Not for nothing she was the older, wiser and more
misterious Senshi of all . . . she knew what she was talking about.

I ask, my voice still quivering as my nerves get adjusted to their renewed
strengh: "What's that got to do with me?". Through my link with the girls,
I can almost 'think' their thoughts . . . 'how can she worry about such a
thing?' . . . 'we've just been told about the destruction of the entire
Galaxy, and she wonders what's it got to do with her?' . . . I try to block 
them away, but they just keep coming. Mental powers were never my forte . . .
but how I wish I had them now!!. 'cold, cold as ice' . . . 'she doesn't even 
care about her own self' . . . 'I'm scared'. I grasp Hiroshi's hand, and his
gentle squeeze reassures me. I can feel he's as interested as I am with
this story. "You, Reiko, were the cause of the Universe's destruction". For
some heart-beating moments, I don't get what she just said. Then,
realisation strickes in. *I* was the cause?. *Me?*. Because of me it is that
a complete dimension was anhilinated?.

My eyes open wide in amazement. A gasp I hear behind me, and Hiroshi's hand
leaves my own. My hand covers my mouth, to stop an intake of breath to
leave my lips . . . Setsuna turns to face me, and says: "Yes. When I
discovered this parallel dimension had dissapeared, I returned in time to
search for the motive. And my discoveries were amazing". She waves her hand
in the air, as if to make a circle. "You've heard the theory of the old
Greeks, right?. That one that says a human life and soul is a circle of
events. The summary of the experiences lived through its many lives. And
that no matter how hard he tries, he'll always return to a certain point,
where the circle will begin again. Well, that's exactly what's happening
now. As I watched closely the events that ocurred before the disaster, I
came to a shocking conclusion. The one known as Mizuni Sayaka on that
world, or Suiseki Reiko here, was the reason of that cataclism".

Mizuni Sayaka. Cute name, I think to myself, before snapping back to the
story. "The exact spot when time continuence came to a halt stop, and
diverted into total destruction, was the battle against Esmeraude. When
that witch hypnotized you into believing everyone hated you, remember?. You
were controlled by her power, yet your own emotions were the ones causing
the illusions to appear. Your belief in your friends wasn't strong enough .
. . and neither did your will power. Your physical endurance was so weak,
your mind was easily controlled and taken over . . . and you didn't even
built up a resistance. On this timeline, you never came into attacking your
friends, right?. You were stopped by the memory of your friendship. On that
world, you had nothing to cling onto. Your perception of reality was
altered to such a point, on which your only wish was to destroy anything
and everyone".

"And you did". Her voice enters my ears, and reaches my brain. I actually
attacked my friends?. With my power?. As the strange idea sinks in, she
continues: "You said what you thought. On that state, you weren't
controlling your mind, and your real feelings came into view. Harsh things
were said . . . thins that weren't really felt, but remained on the minds
of everyone. The fact that you couldn't shake of the control of the youma,
gave a lethal blow onto the Senshi's main basis . . . friendship and team
work. They never forgave you about that, although they never accepted it
directly. Yet, the damage had been done. Ever since that day, they lost
part of their trust in you. And when the confusion reached it's climax . .
. that was the real cause of the Senshi Wars. The Inner fought with rage,
wanting to destroy the union and frienship in between the Outers . . .
something they had lost when Sayaka didn't remember them".

"Since their hate was so big, they won. They never consciously knew they
were fighting for jealousy, but deep inside they were hurting. As bizarre
as it seems, Mercury took Neptune down with easyness, and very quickly. And
so did Venus with Saturn and Mars with Uranus. Only when they saw Jupiter
fall, did they fully understood what they had done. They had killed their
friends, their helpers . . . they had killed themselves on some sort of
way. And ever since that day, they started drifting appart. Each of them
blamed the others for not stopping them when they could . . . as if they
were totally innocent of the masacre. And so, things kept going on. I can't
change the time flow of that dimension . . . it's not *my* dimension. The
Pluto of that time was killed in the fight. I never wanted to see who had
taken her down. . .".

I just can't understand it!. Just because my belief in my friends wasn't
strong enough, the Universe was destroyed?. On the back of my mind, I began
to understand what had gotten Setsuna on doing such terrible things. "As I
said before, things return to a certain point on which everything starts
again . . . and it began to happen in here. I've watched each and everyone
of you, ever since you were born. You were growing into strong, brave and
powerful warriors . . . but I saw as you, Reiko, were developing the same
characteristics that Sayaka had. You were almost equal to her, if not
physically, at least emotionally. And that was what worried me. I traveled
onto the future, two years ahead . . . and the story was repeating itself.
The Outer were dead, and the Inner fought alone against Galaxia. I knew
something had to be done . . . and I did it".

"That day you left school, so many years ago, I was watching you. Knowing
that what I had chosen for you was the correct thing, I led you onto the
alley and into the arms of the agency. In there, you got the courage, the
will power and the strengh needed to survive. You changed, no longer being
like Mizuni Sayaka, but as the real Mercury Senshi should be. Strong, brave
and trusting". Tears welled up in my eyes, as I finally understand . . . my
destiny was to be the strengh of the Earth warriors, and I was the cause
their destruction. My God . . . can it actually be true?. Me, Suiseki
Reiko?. Through a whirlwind of thoughts and impressions, I faintly see as
the other girls start leaving one by one. They're as shocked as I am . . .
or maybe as scared as before . . . or even more. Yeah, I bet that's it. Now
that they now I was the one who made them die, they'll hate me and fear me
even more.

To be continued . . . .

So, that was chapter 3!!. From now on, chapters will be longer, because as 
far as it is going, this fic will end with about 30 parts!!. 

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/shrine/1721

               ( geocities.com/tokyo/shrine)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo)